Dude, Where's My Car?

Tim & Paul lost their car!

The guys watched the cult classic "Dude Where's My Car?" and sat down to talk about it!

Along the way they discussed The Ostrich King, Fabio getting hit by a pigeon and bubble wrap in space.

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Transcript

0:02
bonjour mon amis welcome back to the ostrich king it is I, Pierre Exotic here
0:09
today from the farm and today on the show we are going to be talking about ostriches and well
0:14
freeze! fbi everyone on the ground! it wasn't me i'm being framed by that [ __ ] Carole Baskin! sir put your hands
0:21
behind your back and step away from the ostrich don't worry little buddy you're gonna be all right
0:36
[Music]
0:46
hello everyone and welcome to another episode of good times with bad movies i'm tim morrison joined as always by my
0:51
co-host paul ireland paul how you doing i'm sorry
0:57
trying to collect myself here about fantastic time how are you today sir i'm great i'm great paul that was a
1:02
fantastic intro this is great you know you got to start the new year off on just a strong note i think that's a great way to start off here tim the
1:09
strong note and a bad movie that's exactly what we're getting into today this week we did dude where's my
1:15
car came out in 2000 distributed by 20th century fox yeah and you know watching
1:20
this was like this is a real trip down horrible movie lane
1:27
oh yeah well we sort of like get some kind of background info we sort of tried this a while ago and kind of for one of
1:32
our demo episodes that we never released so overall i've watched this movie far more over
1:40
the course of like a year and a half than anyone ever should see this movie over the last like two years we've probably
1:46
watched this movie about 14 times total between yeah yeah and it it didn't get better every
1:52
time either no i just i stopped on the last one i was like i got the picture i got the
1:58
picture all right we're good we're good so this movie is called dude where's my car in case you can't guess what this
2:04
movie is about it is about two potheads wake up after a night of partying and cannot remember
2:09
where they parked their car they only have too much of a mystery in the title there do they you know what it's funny too actually
2:14
maybe this is not funny this is actually kind of sad um when i was starting to i was gonna watch this movie right i was looking i was
2:20
looking up on itunes because i couldn't find anywhere i think they took it off amazon it was on there for a minute right um of course when we go to do this
2:26
again it's not on there i gotta pay four dollars for this movie and waste my time in my life but um that's okay
2:31
uh but i i so i just typed in you know in the search button i typed in dude where and
2:37
then there was probably about three four movies that came up there was like dude where's my hamster dude where's my goat
2:43
dude where's my dog yeah yeah that was like what are all these movies so i don't know if like and i don't have time
2:49
to get into it because i was like this is just a rabbit hole i have to go down on another day when i have more time but
2:54
like i'm just wondering if these are weird spoof movies off of it or i checked out dude where's my dog just
3:00
because curiosity got the better of me it's an interesting title it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with this movie
3:08
except that this boy has lost his dog and he's trying to find it dude where's my dog i don't know kid like all right
3:14
like you know i wonder if that's like you you know that i i don't know the director's name but there's like one of those guys out there and he makes movies
3:20
that it's like it's like transformers but it's trans morphers exactly right so it just makes movies that kind of the same but they're
3:26
not the same android cop yeah you think you're buying the right movie and it's just like some ripoff that's horrible
3:31
right yeah their whole system their whole scheme is based on tricking people into buying and renting their movies
3:36
exactly so that's why i wonder if that's that's what this was right they're just like make dude where's my dog you know someone will buy that they're like oh
3:42
okay yeah yeah like you know or it's like one of those really bad memes it's like the wish or like you know it's like like dad can we get dudes
3:49
where's my car it's like we have dude where's my car at home and it's like dude where's my dog or something
3:56
but i don't know yeah i don't we don't really need to dance around this movie too much like this might as well just plow ahead and get into this whole mess
4:02
what do you think tim ready to find this car zoltan so this movie begins with a text on the
4:09
screen that says this movie is based on actual events spoiler it's not
4:15
this movie's not overly funny and it tries really hard so i think that that was just like their first swing at it yeah i
4:22
i guess so this is like a just like what 2000 this came out right so yes 2000. pretty pretty goofy
4:28
stupid humor i guess i think this is supposed this is weird i think this was supposed to be catered to kids like like teenagers and kids like because this was
4:34
on like tbs a lot i just remembered you know i'd be watching tv and this movie would be on all the time and we're gonna
4:41
as we go do this we're gonna find out this movie is probably not for somebody who's 13 years old no it's a little all
4:46
over the place so we get a late 90s early 2000s smash mouth song
4:52
i don't know what it's called but it's just very it just really reminds me of that time and i don't know if you've
4:58
seen any youtube videos of smash mouth lately but look them up if you haven't they have an age very well
5:05
i could go off on a whole other thing but it's their lead singer's gone downhill like
5:10
really bad hey you you're a nice guy uh
5:16
i hate that song so much it's yeah no it's right up there with like old time rock and roll
5:22
yeah that's like yeah every wedding anyways yeah so we start off with this intro it's almost like a little bit of a
5:29
music video where it's the camera is kind of just panning around at different parts of space and
5:34
we're seeing a bunch of different characters a whole bunch of like it looks like a quadruple or quad head of um
5:41
twins dancing uh there's a whole bunch of characters that we're going to meet in the movie so
5:46
i'm not going to bother going over them too much there's some ostriches and a really bad cgi dancing cat that's like a
5:53
sexy cat it's really bizarre and then we just quickly cut to this
5:59
really filthy house with ashton kutcher and sean william scott these are two
6:04
dudes in the movie our two main characters and um they're idiots
6:10
they're also stoners they they kind of mention that in this hypnosis however however it's not really
6:15
clear other than that they're just dumb because we'll find out they only smoke weed once in this movie
6:22
i mean i'm not going to spoil it we'll get there but it's like i don't even think they smoke weed they just kind of
6:27
there's there's like two three points in this movie where people call them stoners and then everything else it's like it's kind of
6:33
implied that they're stoners that's that's all you kind of get out of this whole thing so yeah
6:38
this whole movie is very mixed with this messaging we're gonna see here jesse and chester right his name's chester yep
6:46
jessie is kelso and uh chester is uh what's his favorite william scott
6:51
spliffler or stifler that's right stifler is chessler chester stifler is chester
6:56
yeah jesse jesse is kelso jk i say remember that jesse kelso right jk and
7:02
he basically is kelso from that 70's show his his character is almost not different at all it's a 2000s kelso
7:09
exactly yes absolutely this is this is it he's just a kelso just a complete [ __ ] so these two have woken up after a
7:16
long night of partying and they don't really remember the night at all and they're kind of just looking around
7:22
the apartment and they see a lifetime supply of pudding stocked in the cupboards
7:28
and there's also a random guy whom they don't know that like kind of just comes out while they're sitting on the couch
7:34
this guy walks out behind them and just starts peeing in a plant yeah i think his name is gene it's so weird they they
7:39
look at each other like do you know gene he's like no i thought you did yeah i think that's like it's almost
7:45
like guy on the couch like it's like a ripoff of like half baked or something but they were like we'll have a guy in a
7:50
closet you know it's kind of like between halfway between uh uh dave chappelle and r kelly you know
7:58
yeah [Laughter] so jesse and chester here decided they're gonna start playing thumb wars
8:04
so they put on their army helmets and sit there and start playing thumb wars
8:09
on the couch and they're while they're playing they he they're listening to their answering
8:14
machine and they hear their girlfriends who they refer to as the twins i guess they're
8:20
both dating sisters and they realize that their anniversary is
8:26
today and they need to get retrieved their gifts that they had got for them out of their
8:31
car you can sort of see where this is going absolutely that's right and if they
8:36
don't get these uh if they don't find their gifts then the girlfriends threaten them to not give them their quote special treats
8:43
which you know we we i guess you know in this movie and they kind of basically say it they seem to think that it's it's
8:50
some sort of sexual favor apparently they're gonna get if they can find these presents that are in their car that's
8:55
right gotta get them treats it's a that's an interesting euphemism
9:01
so they go inside of the uh the house here their home and uh they're looking for the car
9:07
and then we get this moment here dude where's my car where's your car dude
9:13
[Music] see where's my car where's your car dude dude where's my car
9:19
so jesse and chester here decide that the best way for them to try and revive their memories is to retrace their steps
9:25
from the night before to see if they can sort of jog their memory a little bit and their first idea to do that is to go
9:31
and hang out with their buddy i can't remember his name but basically he's gonna he's like he's kind of like a
9:36
stoner guru and he's gonna smoke weed with him and i guess that's gonna fix everything
9:41
his yeah his name's nelson nelson that's right yeah uh before they leave though jesse jesse and chester here are
9:48
standing on the side of the road and they decide that they're going to hitchhike to nelson's house and
9:54
chester decides to walk out first and sees this old lady uh i can't remember what her name is
10:00
what is it mrs mrs crabbleman yeah mrs crabbleman somewhere on the street and he flags her down like
10:07
smiling and waving like hey can i get a drive and she smiles and then just like steps on
10:13
the gas and runs runs chester over and then
10:18
jesse here decides to do the exact same thing and they the exact same thing happens only this time i think it's a
10:24
guy that's driving down the street yeah it's an old man and his wife yeah
10:31
jesse and jessica have just both been hit by a car and they decide that they'll just walk there yeah they're
10:36
they're both well-respected in the uh senior citizens community it sounds like
10:41
and you know i i just wanted this to like what so i know that apparently they kind of work at a pizza shop or something but
10:47
like how do they afford to live because these guys are idiots like i just don't you know do they
10:53
i just don't understand this well a lot of it doesn't make sense like we'll get into that more i mean i don't understand how they even have
10:58
girlfriends yeah that's true too yeah i guess so this is just a movie so anyways they they're smoking weed with nelson he
11:04
talks like yoda and i think it's supposed to be funny but you know yoda jokes have been done
11:10
for the past like 50 years well i think now too yeah we're we're kind of over over saturated with star wars stuff so i
11:17
think now it's like yeah it's like oh yeah you did yoda that's fun that's original right but this guy's hat like it's like this weird like safari sun hat
11:24
thing he looks like a goof and he's got like these giant mutton chops it kind of looks like um rob schneider
11:29
but like a low rent rob schneider he's got a dog named jackal and this dog is this so this dog is he actually the only
11:35
person in this movie that seems like they smoke weed um explicitly in the movie everyone else like i said this is sort of just implied
11:41
that they're stoners but this dog jackal has a little pipe and if you touch this pipe
11:46
he will basically turn into a rabid like a dingo or something and just starts like snarling and drooling and just like
11:53
don't mess this dog's weed i guess that's that's the main plus that's the main uh plot point there i guess yeah
11:58
it's like it's like weed is like the only thing that gets this dog going at all because i guess aside from that he just looks like he's dead until you
12:05
bring out his pipe the hell's wrong with this person just like a psa don't don't let you don't don't let your dog smoke weed guys come
12:10
on don't get your dog's eye what's wrong with you people after they smoke the weed they're hungry so they
12:18
decide they're gonna go through a chinese food restaurant drive through this restaurant is called chinese
12:23
restaurant i think by the way it's not very creative if if you've ever seen if you know anything from dude
12:30
where's my car it's this scene that you've probably you probably know of they're in the drive-through and jesse
12:37
is ordering and she says and then and he goes on to continue the order to the end then you
12:43
know so then i like some wonton soup because in the end some fortune cookies and it just keeps
12:48
going on like that and then and then and then to the point where she won't stop saying and then and he gets into a fight
12:54
with the intercom speaker and then
12:59
you know admittedly this is a little bit funny it's very dated and i've as paul and i have said we've watched this
13:05
together like collectively together probably like 12 to 15 times so
13:10
it's funny but you're just fed up with this yeah it doesn't it doesn't compensate for the rest of this at all
13:16
you're just like geez stop please stop saying and then please love a god but it is fascinating to me that this is the
13:22
joke that's stuck like even a lot of people who don't know dude
13:27
wears my car have probably heard of this this little joke this and then at the chinese restaurant yeah well i mean like
13:34
they really hammer this in there's like i i think what i think in the original episode you said this was like 40 times
13:40
or something that they said this so um this is so you know i think they're just they're just ingraining it in your brain
13:45
at that point this was like almost like that was up commercial the budweiser one
13:51
that's kind of like this is the same era where just like loud aggressive obnoxious jokes
13:56
like that yeah that you're just like all right and then you're like okay all right thanks man stop
14:03
this is a nightmare living this over again why did we do this yeah right after that nelson kicks them out of the car
14:10
because jesse made a slanderous remark against the uh dalai lama
14:18
he called him up so you and you can use your imagination as to what that is
14:23
the other f word so they're here on the sidewalk now inside of a store or something
14:28
and now they're trying to figure out what their next move is and this very attractive girl that i
14:33
guess they've they know of like they went to school with her or something she's in the community uh her name is christy boner
14:42
at first i thought it was crispy boner like the first time i watched it oh my god someone burnt it what's going
14:48
on here no he i just love the the guy the there's a construction worker in the back who's on this jack gamer apparently
14:55
he's just like i don't know what he's doing he's just having a good time watching this girl
15:02
he really clearly hits a water vein as she walks by and just he has this big sigh of relief on his face it's just
15:08
like you know again i know this is really dumb and juvenile but there's just something about that that's so funny
15:15
and her name is christy bona that's right and obviously tim i mean we both know who christy boner is i don't think
15:20
we can let this go without explaining who she is who is she paul she is the original buffy the vampire slayer that's
15:26
right that is christy swanson that's right that's right i forgot i need you to jog my memory there but yes that's right yeah buffy the vampire slayer
15:33
from the uh og buffy from like the you know the first buffy movie i think in like 1990 or something like that
15:39
yeah that movie was really fun i really liked that movie actually that's great so christy boner here is
15:45
talking about last night and they're like surprised and because they don't remember anything and she's like don't
15:51
you remember like me being in the back of the car with you you know you gave me five hundred dollars out of your
15:56
briefcase of cash and i let you see my hoo-hoos she refers to her breasts as huhus i
16:02
know that's not very far off from hooters but like isn't huhu's isn't that like a some kind of a sweet pastry or
16:08
something i think those are whole like a joke oh like yeah you're right yeah
16:14
but i know what you're saying yeah this is that's why that's why i said earlier i really think this was kind of marketed in a way for
16:20
like children they really tried hard to make this a pg-13 rating because they've cut so much stuff and they've changed
16:26
all the language to who who's this this dumb made-up goofy like juvenile
16:32
but they're at the same time you know she's accepting 500 for sexual favors
16:37
too so it's like you know who is this for yeah and then as we're gonna see in like a scene or
16:43
two ahead of this like again who the hell is this
16:48
but regardless um you know christy is kind of jogging uh jesse's memory here and she
16:54
you know grabs his hand and guides it towards her huhu and so he's sitting there with this big old smile on his face and this uh
17:01
this truck pulls up and this guy tommy gets out of the truck okay and tommy is a jock and he's got a gang of like goons
17:08
with him sort of like biff in back to the future that's kind of what these guys are except the one guy doesn't have those weird future glasses and they're
17:13
in the 60s or 50s or whatever sorry but anyways the community bully yeah this guy's just a total goon right and he
17:19
walks up to chris and he's like hey are these guys bothering you and this always stood out to me that like
17:25
this guy okay he's walking up to jesse and chester one guy
17:30
has his hand on his girlfriend's breast okay at this point right in front of him and he's like are
17:36
these guys bothering you but if this guy's a goon to me he would have instantly seen that and just leveled these guys like it
17:42
would just would've been over you know if you're the bully especially if these guys are losers to you like you're not going to tolerate that long no this
17:49
relationship isn't going to work out jesse and chester uh
17:54
they get garbage cans dumped on them by the bullies and they kind of shove them off the side and the bullies and christy boner drive away into the sunset and
18:01
jesse and chester walking down the street now and they're just still trying to like piece everything together they still don't really know what what the hell is
18:07
going on so um chester looks in one of his pockets and he pulls out a pack of matches and
18:13
the matches say on it kitty cat club with a very weird sexy cat on it
18:19
and of course we are going to fade over to the kitty cat club which we're going to find out in about three seconds is a
18:26
pretty raucous strip club and it's this okay so this is also the next morning it seems like to me so i i'm like at best
18:34
i'm gonna say this is like one o'clock in the afternoon and this place is just bumping with like
18:40
15 strippers they're all lined up beside each other 15 of them and they each have
18:45
a pitcher of water and it's all for chester
18:50
as soon as they walk in they're like hey chester and jesse and they just don't
18:55
they dumped the pictures of water on their on their chests so they had like a wet t-shirt lineup i guess well it's
19:02
just like i i guess my biggest question is just like how is this place so busy at like a tuesday uh one o'clock in the
19:09
afternoon you know what i mean like i mean granted let's say it's a weekend maybe it's a sunday maybe it's a sunday maybe it's a saturday it could be a
19:15
saturday yeah yeah maybe it's a saturday but it's it's still it's still the morning time and there's like people in there having
19:21
drinks and there's like a guy in like a suit and they're just there's just like women everywhere people on their lunch
19:26
breaks i guess so i don't this is just a big area of somewhere where they just really are
19:32
supporting the stripper community so this one stripper in particular eyes up jesse and says you know do you
19:39
remember last night you were here and i gave you a super special slippery wet lap dance
19:47
and he's like i don't remember but you know if you can jog remember that would help and she's like
19:53
all right i'll take you in the back so jesse is in the back here he's very eager in his chair awaiting this lap
19:59
dance from tonya uh bear in mind bear in mind this is a good 21 years ago so
20:05
you know we're just quoting this movie and giving you a rundown of what happens and trying to do it the most politically
20:11
correct way as possible so tonya here is
20:18
so tanya here is about to give him his left lap dance and then kind of just out of nowhere she
20:24
just gets a very serious look on her face and her voice drops about five octaves and
20:32
here's tonya uh right before they go into the back hi chester
20:37
hi jessie did you guys enjoy yourselves last night and then here's tanya when
20:42
she gets very serious alone with jesse thinking throwing around my money like that that wasn't part of the plan last
20:49
night i had the two of you sneakers have stolen money out of the club jesse is very confused at this
20:56
and he's like what's going on and tanya basically turns around and
21:03
kind of does a little bit of reenactment of a century a pet detective at the very end
21:11
three simple words finkle is einhorn that's all you need yeah so
21:17
basically tonya has revealed that she is actually a man uh she refers to herself
21:22
as being uh a sexually or i don't even want to get into this yeah
21:29
let's just let's just skip all that let's just skip that and the thing is it really has little to nothing to do with
21:34
the movie whatsoever this really didn't age well i don't yeah we gotta get up we gotta move on oh my
21:40
god all right tanya reveals that amongst a bunch of other stuff that she
21:45
stole two hundred thousand dollars from the club that night the strip club that she works at the kitty cat club she's
21:51
just heisted two hundred thousand dollars from this club um somehow unbeknownst to them for it approximately i'm gonna guess like it's
21:57
gotta be at least 12 hours now it's between last night and the next day i'm giving them at least 12 hours you know we could say 15 hours you know but
22:04
it's it's this club somehow hasn't has not missed 200 000 so she's got 200 000
22:09
that apparently she gave to them last night and in a drunken stupor again with losing their
22:14
car they've lost this money and so this lady threatens him and says like you better get your ass out there and find
22:20
my money so the boys hit the streets they decide that they need to go and meet up with
22:25
their girlfriends the twins and once they arrive at their house they see that the whole yard the whole property of
22:31
their home is completely trashed yeah this whole the whole point of the scene here just it's really dumb and kind of
22:36
stupid and we just plow ahead through it basically what happens is they've they've kind of hidden the fact that
22:41
they're outside of the house is just trashed it's just horrible so they go inside and the girls have basically cleaned up
22:48
everything they're like you know what girls you just take a shower we'll take all this stuff out to the curb don't worry about it so they're like oh thanks guys and somehow they just buy that
22:54
that's just cool that they're okay with just that right and they also gave him like a box of chocolates and ate like 90
22:59
percent of the chocolates out of this thing so like how are you with these losers like it's it's time to it's time to be done with this but anyways um
23:06
so you know the boys they they try to take out the garbage and what happens is basically something gets snagged on the side here and this
23:12
disgusting like motor oil stuff comes spewing out everywhere and the bags rip apart and the girls come out and they
23:17
just see there's just a giant mess everywhere and they get booted out of the house
23:23
and as they get booted out of the house they get picked up by some of my favorite people in this movie so like for the i love these guys this is
23:30
the weird zoltan cult this weird minivan kind of shows up out of nowhere
23:35
and these nerds pour out and they just grab jesse and chester and throw them in the van
23:42
and we find out that these guys are part of this weird uh sort of i guess they're alien
23:47
worshiping sort of nerd people yeah they're they're they're like a a modern-day uh new age cult
23:55
uh not non-overly religious but more so into the sci-fi aspects of uh stuff they're really infatuated with this guy
24:01
named zoltan they even got this little sort of like power rangers move they do where they go zultan and they sort of move their hands and make a zed out of
24:07
it with their hands or z or whatever you want to say it's funny and they're very serious they take themselves very seriously yeah and i
24:14
guess the whole point of it is just they they're they ask them if they've got the continuum trans functioner the only thing we really know about this this
24:20
device and like you said it comes up a whole bunch is that it's one of the most mysterious and powerful devices in the
24:26
universe and its mystery is only exceeded by its power so
24:31
you you and then they repeat that they go back to that line over and over we just know it's some kind of device that this
24:38
cult has been searching for for a very long time yeah and i think that's also an important point too that we should circle and and just pencil in and
24:44
highlight that apparently no one knows what this thing does or looks like um yeah so then and that's where we're
24:51
at with that no one looks no one knows what this is or what this does so they're like you know what guys we'll uh we'll keep an eye for it and if we see
24:57
it we'll let you know and they're like great thanks guys and just remember don't trust anybody because you're in grave danger sultan and then they sort
25:03
of just drop these guys off in front of uh a tailing a tailor's shop yeah yeah
25:08
it's like a taylor shop dry cleaners type place and they they the owner recognized them immediately and he's
25:13
like come in guys i got your tailored suits that you ordered last night because i guess on their adventures that they don't
25:19
remember they got some taylor suits and they're uh they're very like again like late 90s uh
25:25
adidas track suits while they're getting undressed to change into their new suits they realize that they have each gotten
25:32
a tattoo one of them has a tattoo on their back that says sweet and the other one has a tattoo on their back that says
25:37
dude what happens next is a miscommunication with each other as they try to tell each other
25:44
what each of their tattoos say and paul and i are going to show you what that sounds like
25:49
just to make it really simple for you guys paul has a tattoo that says sweet
25:54
i have a tattoo that says dude and we were both discovering that for the
26:00
first time dude you got a tattoo
26:05
really oh dude you got a tattoo dude what does mine say
26:11
sweet what's mine say dude what does mine say
26:16
sweet what does mine say dude what does mine say
26:22
sweet what does mine say dude what does mine say
26:28
so that goes on for way too long and be thankful we sped it up for you the taylor gets really annoyed and explains
26:34
to the explains uh the confusion here and tells them what their tattoos say and basically tells them to get out uh
26:41
and also lets them know that their suits their new track suits that they have uh were installed with secret pockets and
26:48
out of their pocket i think jester's pocket he's got this kaleidoscope and i can't write white chassis what
26:54
does jesse have in his pocket rubik's cube yeah rubik's cube yeah so just uh keep a note about that i
27:01
want to make a note about these custom suits here like i get a real qualm with calling these custom tailored suits
27:06
these are just adidas track suits with adidas t-shirts okay unless this man
27:13
i guess copyright had copyright infringement and sewed a suit that looks exactly like an adidas suit
27:19
which i don't i don't think he did i think they just bought in a suit and he sold a pocket in it for two guys and somehow that's a that that's a that's a
27:25
custom suit and where did these toys come from too like if he sewed in the pockets where the hell did these toys
27:31
come from it's like when they made the order for the suits they were like make sure you put these toys in some secret pockets too
27:37
this is confusing to me too because they also have cell phones in their pockets right now
27:43
like they've just pulled cell phones out of their pockets they're like dude we got phones and then as we're gonna see in another second here
27:48
they pull out keys to a mercedes that they have as well
27:54
where the hell they just pick these suits off the rack i don't know so as soon as they realize that they've got this new car they get really excited and
28:01
we go to this like music video where they're kind of like the clips of them driving in the car this convertible and
28:08
yeah just bust a move by young mc is playing and there's they're suddenly just at this giant pool party
28:14
and like what's i i don't understand it's like a music video or is this like a clip of last
28:20
night because even like like um ashton kutcher is like looking at the camera and singing along
28:26
like rapping like lip-syncing to the song so i'm not really sure what's going on this is supposed to be like the night before or what this is so confusing
28:33
you're right because it's like they they totally break the fourth wall they're driving around in
28:39
this car that they have now and it's like like when they saw the twins about 10 minutes
28:44
ago they had like a dollar fifty in their pockets and they just had enough to get like a box of chocolates apparently that they ate most of and
28:50
somehow now they are just partying up at a pool throwing like 100 bills in the air and ejaculating sunscreen everywhere
28:57
and like none of this makes any sense well how the hell did this happen and then now they're driving on
29:02
the road and they they meet fabio yeah they just have to stop like like a set of stop lights and
29:08
like next to them in the other car is fabio and i guess presumably his girlfriend or date or something and
29:14
they're kind of like giving each other stairs if they're gonna like like intimidation stairs as if they're going to like have a street race or something
29:20
and basically fabio just starts making it with his girlfriend like show her off and jesse and chester are like well we
29:27
can do that and they just start making it with each other and and fabio was like all right you beat me
29:34
i'm not doing that and they drive off and so that that happened i don't know what the point of any of it was this
29:40
must be some slow slow work in fabio's life to be making cameo appearances like that yeah
29:45
actually this is an interesting question was this before or after the pigeon hit him in the face do you think i can't remember i think you i i'm pretty sure
29:52
it was after okay man that would suck like that's like pretty much one of my only fears about
29:58
going on roller coasters just like some bird coming in and smashing you in the face yeah you gotta watch out for the birds nothing you can do you're very
30:04
vulnerable up there yeah especially if you're uh you imagine you're a face model yeah i would i
30:11
wouldn't wish that on anybody but it is it is really funny that it happened to like the one of the most popular face
30:16
models in the world yeah it's like that episode in seinfeld where you know like george is a hand model and he accidentally like falls hand first into
30:23
the the iron right it's like that anyway so it almost seems like they're they're like about again like 10 feet away from
30:30
the the tailors where they just they just walked out of about three minutes ago um and they're just walking down the road here and they run into these
30:37
these the next i guess these the i guess these are sort of the antagonists we're gonna find out these are as they describe them
30:43
in this movie the quote five hot chicks with large breasts yes that's what these women refer themselves
30:49
as no names that's right that's well we're we're gonna find something out about them later i don't really want to give anything away but
30:55
yeah right now that's all you know about these women they want the continuum trans functioner one of the one of the guys here has a popsicle a really long
31:02
popsicle and the women tell them if you can get me the continuing transponder then we will
31:09
give you erotic pleasure she takes the popsicle from his hand and proceeds to shove the whole popsicle
31:16
in her mouth and cleans the popsicle right off of the stick
31:21
and jesse and chester are just in awe over this so they're willing to do whatever they
31:28
need to do to get that get that pleasure get that erotic pleasure from these five
31:34
hot chicks with large press this is what i'm talking about man like again this is like
31:41
this they showed this at seven o'clock at night i swear to god on tv so he was
31:46
going on and i remember watching this as a kid being like because you know jesse and chester are
31:52
blown away by this they're just like they think this is the hottest thing ever and when i was a kid i had no idea what
31:59
the hell was going on you know and obviously now you're an adult you're like oh
32:04
but it just it is mind-blowing that this is marketed to children
32:10
well or like at least a younger audience will say so they turn around they decide they're gonna you know go for this
32:16
erotic pleasure from these five girls and you know they they turn around and i don't know where is tonya
32:22
the uh the stripper that that uh you could just yeah yeah the late the the lady who you know she has
32:29
some money yeah well she's got money that's that's the topic that's exactly tonya with the money
32:35
that is the only standout characteristic of this person so tanya it's like i don't know she's
32:40
like where's my money boys and you know i feel like it's only been like
32:46
maybe 25 minutes like since we saw her if that and they're like we don't have
32:51
her your money yet so she's about to beat the jesse and chester up and these cops show up out of nowhere like a whole
32:57
bunch of cop cars and they arrest jesse and chester so they're in this interrogation meeting here the cops want
33:04
to know where they were between the hours of midnight and 2 a.m uh the night
33:09
before you know this night that they can't remember and uh because because they were spotted
33:15
supposedly spotted at the scene of a major drug deal um they used some really weird
33:21
interrogation techniques like beating up a dummy and stuff is pretty foolish it's kind of funny
33:26
yeah like they're just beating up this dummy to show their strength to try and intimidate them into telling the truth
33:32
putting cigarettes out on them and stuff that's right another police officer comes into the room and
33:39
recognizes jesse and chester because they delivered a bunch of donuts to the cops the night before
33:45
and the the interrogator says what time was that and he was like oh sometimes between the hours of midnight and 2 am
33:51
and he was like okay well you got an alibi you're cleared they go out to like the main office of
33:57
the cop shop to retrieve their car because i guess it was impounded and this goof of a receptionist here
34:04
accidentally sends their car to the impound lot so that now they're on another
34:10
search for this well they're still in the search for the car however now they have like kind of a location they decide they're gonna have to go to the
34:16
interrogation or sorry they decided they're gonna have to go to the impound lot to find their car so the boys leave
34:21
the cop shop here obviously they're a little more confused and they don't really know what the hell is going on so
34:27
they are going to the dmv i guess that's kind of the next place we're supposed to go here and they meet these two weird
34:34
i guess they're like swedish they're like i don't know scandinavian looking dudes uh i'm i'm gonna call them
34:40
bjorn and sven i don't really think they have names in this movie if you know what the proclaimers look like the guys who say i would walk 500 miles it looks
34:47
like those two twins like they're almost identical to only a little bit more muscly with some
34:52
kind of european accent yeah some guy was named johann or something you know and uh
34:58
yeah and so they go you know have you seen the continuum trans functioner and they give them the whole spiel again they're like dude we have not seen this
35:03
we don't know what the hell you're talking about leave us alone so they walk away and for some reason they kind of just stop off at their house now
35:10
i don't really know why they just hang out their house they go to their house again start watching animal planet and they're watching they're watching
35:16
monkeys you know try to get ants out of little holes with sticks and then their girlfriends come by and they tell them
35:21
that they're sucky boyfriends and they're like we are sucky boyfriends we gotta go find that car so they have this whole like complete non-sequitur thing
35:27
that happens and then they're like let's go look for a car again meanwhile they have this kick-ass mercedes that they can just i
35:33
guess they can just sell that and just like buy presents with that thing but we're gonna go to the dmv so the boys head to
35:38
the dmv and uh you know they go up to this lady and they're like dude where's my car and so
35:45
she punches some stuff in she finds out you know what turns out this guy actually put your car
35:50
out for auction and your car's been sold someone bought the car and they were like well can we find out who this is
35:56
and she's like i can't i can't just tell you that she's like let me watch my manager we're gonna find out in a second that this lady is a big joker she really
36:03
likes to just pull people's legs cause uh what happens is is jessie and chester are sitting there you know she goes back
36:10
to talk to her manager she's like you know asking if she can basically give them the info
36:15
and so jesse and chester are like hey like let's let's see if we can grab that piece of paper so chester sticks his arm
36:20
under and he's trying to grab his piece of paper and the lady looks over and then they both just kind of pretend like they're not doing anything you know
36:25
there's kind of like nothing's going on and then as soon as she looks away again they go back and they're like their faces are pressed up
36:31
against the glass and they're trying desperately to get this thing and all of a sudden chester's arm gets stuck and he can't pull it out and she's coming by
36:37
now and she just basically grabs his arm and she like pretends she's gonna just chop his arm off he freaks out and he
36:43
just like pulls it out with the paper and she's like all right see you guys later have a good day she's like laughing maniacally the whole time too
36:49
yeah this lady is just screwing with these guys hard i guess she can just give this information you think that you probably
36:54
couldn't just be like um who are you like yeah you own this car like no i don't think so dude you can't just walk in
37:00
here and take this info that yeah get wrecked right like but you know they give them the information so the swedish
37:06
guys show up again at the dmv place and they sort of accost jesse and chester again one more time like have you seen
37:12
the continuum trench function and they're like you know what actually we have and they send them sort of off to a wild
37:18
goose chase which kind of ends up being the the chinese restaurant
37:23
they just end up going talking to that little uh the the drive-through for like 20 minutes meanwhile jesse and chester
37:28
are sitting in their uh convertible and out of nowhere one of the uh zoltan
37:33
cultists kind of like appears in the back seats and then tasers them both so next like flash forward really quick
37:41
we see jesse and chester in like this room of a barn uh and they only have
37:47
their boxers on so the two big guys from the uh the cult here walk in with a bubble wrap
37:54
uh bodysuits that's exactly what it is they're wearing a bodysuit made of bubble wrap and they have jesse and
37:59
chester's clothes and they hand them to them and tell them to get dressed because we're going inside you would think that they were going to get them
38:04
dressed in like one of their outfits or bubble wrap outfits but they're actually just giving them back their clothes
38:10
why jesse and chester are undressed at all like why they took their clothes just just to give them back to them like
38:16
an hour later is beyond me you know you know so i actually kind of remember this um when we like a year and
38:24
a half ago when we did this demo and i watched it 100 times i researched the hell out of this and i actually found a
38:31
deleted scene online and what happened in the deleted scene was just like the guys were like we had to check you and
38:36
they're like they're like well like our pockets and they're like no no we had to like check you
38:42
and so what i you know they kind of they kind of might have uh done some butt checking
38:48
to them it seems like i just said another yeah just a throwback to home alone three they kind of did a little bow pray
38:54
a little investigation you know so yeah it's and that that's
38:59
apparently what happened and that's why when you cut to the next scene you sort of see jesse and chester looking back at the two dudes kind of with this weird
39:05
grossed lookout like what the hell man well without knowing that this it makes absolutely no sense yeah so just united
39:12
like that one cut that one like five second clip this movie's like an hour and 20 minutes you could just put that in there that would have just explained
39:18
a lot more so you know the the weird bubble suit guys lead jesse and chester now with their
39:24
clothes back on into this this barn sort of like in uh you know what like it's like a weird like it's a weird cult barn
39:31
i guess that's what this is you know so they all just like it's like a commune i guess it's really what this is and so the zoltan guys they stop at this
39:37
hallway here and they're opening up a door or at least they're trying to and the one guy is like stumbling around
39:42
with these keys trying to open up them and jesse's just sitting there kind of just being like yo hit him with the the
39:47
fire extinguisher and jeff and chester's like yeah that is a fire extinguisher that's just kind of like you just kind of see this non-verbal thing going on
39:53
here and eventually at some point jesse just gets really upset and grabs his fire extinguisher and just like
39:59
mashes both of them in the head and he's like that's what i was trying to tell you and he's like oh that's a good plan so there's uh there's about three minutes
40:06
of your life you're never gonna get back but i saved you about two and a half minutes of that so there you go that's just that's just the
40:12
favors we're doing for you good times and bad movies here and keep in mind we're leaving out a lot of stuff too so jesse and chester now they kind of roll
40:18
these two dudes into this um this room and they steal their spacesuits and their walk around this barn with these
40:25
bubble wrap suits on and also this alarm goes off here and and jesse and chester kind of panic and they start putting
40:30
their hoods up and they kind of fall over a little bit and uh they don't realize what's going on and it turns out it's just a big sort of
40:36
house commune zoltan called meeting and so everybody has to gather into this barn and they're all high-fiving each
40:41
other really excited and stuff here this is this is a really fun little cult i gotta say these guys are hilarious these
40:46
bubble wrap dudes with their suits um and you know this one dude just kills it on the keyboard here he plays his
40:53
kick-ass music and down comes to stare comes their leader
40:58
the great and wonderful we find out here that zoltan and the rest of his cult have captured the twins
41:06
jesse and chester's girlfriends here and basically they're holding him ransom until jesse and chester find this
41:13
continuing transfunctioner so they let them go to find it i don't understand why like they did this already like they
41:19
kidnapped them once and let them go to find it just to kidnap them again and make the stakes higher and tell them
41:25
to go and find it i don't know what the point of this is like it seems like they should just wait a day if i give them time to actually go search for it so
41:30
anyways their car was auctioned and they have the address now the person who who purchased it
41:36
and uh it is it's in this private property this large piece of private property it's a gated
41:42
property they can't get in so they climb over this gate and i guess there's somewhere in the backyard and it turns out it's in an ostrich farm
41:50
so they're in this like i guess like this private ostrich zoo yeah well it seems it seems like it's
41:56
not even like a zoo it's more just like this guy has ostriches as attack dog
42:01
they're like almost like the velociraptors in jurassic park yeah it's like this this person who owns it i guess i would call him the ostrich king
42:08
that's a great name for him yeah ah son of stretch and ostrich sub man
42:14
that [ __ ] carol baskin stole my ostrich
42:19
so jesse and chester here they they get chased around this piece of property by a whole bunch of
42:26
ostriches and they hide in this abandoned vehicle and an ostrich gets in and knocks them
42:33
both out with with its head the esther ostrich headbutts both of them and knocks them out and then they wake up
42:39
inside of a cage like in a room a dark room in a cage and if that wasn't scary
42:44
enough guess who is beside them andy dick
42:50
that's already a nightmare right there yeah like a a homeless andy deck he's got like really long dirty hair long
42:56
dirty beard uh i think he said he's been in there he's been in captivity for like three
43:02
years or something because he's an ostrich poacher i don't i don't know where this i'm gonna let's just assume
43:08
that they're in california right this looks like california and there's
43:13
there's awkward poachers going around people break into this guy's property cute obstacles i guess i love this guy though like annie dick you know what he
43:19
looks like he looks you mentioned he looks like a homeless guy kind of and it's like he's almost like you remember in
43:24
jumanji when rob gets sucked in the jungle and he comes back and he's all wild that's exactly what
43:30
andy dick looks like in this movie so if you just got put yourself in those shoes folks you just got knocked out by an ostrich okay
43:38
you wake up in a cage and andy dick who looks like he's uh alan and jumanji
43:45
is sitting beside you okay this is horrible yeah he tells you he's been here for
43:50
three years so anyways no no sooner the owner of this
43:55
this ostrich zoo farmer whatever it is comes in and it's i don't does he say what his name is
44:02
i'm going to say his name is pierre it's that because he's just a french stereotype that's all this guy is and of course his name's pierre he is obsessed
44:09
with ostriches and he tells them you know people keep breaking into my property to kill my ostriches and now
44:16
you're going to pay the price you're going to be in this cage and they're kind of trying to convince them to let him out and he says the only way
44:24
oh by the way by the way this guy pierre it's debt it's data from star trek next generations
44:32
and he's french so just imagine data dressed up as like playing like the the most extreme
44:38
uh french stereotype you've ever seen the beret and the little scarf it's
44:43
amazing that's right you got pierre here and he tells jesse and chester that if
44:49
they can tell him how fast the average ostrich can run he
44:54
will let them go they're lucky because you know they've just been binging on animal planet non-stop so chester here he knows
45:01
exactly how fast an ostrich can run uh i guess like 27 miles per hour that's right pierre is just blown away with
45:08
excitement he's just overjoyed and decides to let them out i i don't
45:14
get this at all why would you like let's just say hypothetically i have a farm with animals and somebody
45:21
try to break into them into my farm and shoot my animals poach them or whatever not for a second i would like consider
45:26
letting them go on the condition that they can answer some random trivia question about the animals that i have also if you're a poacher too you
45:33
probably know stuff about the animal you're poaching right like i mean it might be an idiot you could be you know but like i feel like you would kind of
45:38
know some of this general knowledge about this animal well yeah i think you probably wouldn't know how fast they'd run yeah it doesn't matter but you know
45:44
pierre he lets uh jesse and chester out and so they're like have you dude where's our car and he's like oh i have
45:49
your car up here come let's go get it and then they go outside and sacre blue the car is gone
45:56
the car is it's not there anymore they don't know where this car is it's just disappeared so appear literally has no
46:01
clue where this car is now except he found he has one little item that he took from the car which was or it's a
46:07
key for a lock box at a local like um arcade i guess like a fun arcade for
46:12
kids it's like a chuck e cheese for kids this is only it's called captain stews space-o-rama yeah it's like a mini pot kind of arcade place yeah that's where
46:19
you take your kids for a birthday or something so they are off to captain stew's spacerama
46:25
see you later pierre so jesse and chester here they arrive at
46:31
captain stew space aroma and they ask one of the one of the workers one of the staff to show them to the
46:37
lockers so they go to their locker and they're just about to open it before tanya the stripper from earlier
46:44
uh meets meets them there and she's like where's my money oh and she also has um
46:50
this um oh my gosh her boyfriend she yeah she has her husband sitting her boyfriend uh
46:56
here who has a painted-on mustache
47:01
i think the joke here is patty looks like jennifer love hewitt dressed up as prince and she has a painted on mustache oh my
47:09
god
47:16
wow that's a that is an immaculate comparison sir that is a you're right she looks like jennifer
47:22
love hewitt dressed as princess i honestly i just thought prince at first but that jennifer love hewitt that
47:28
is like wow if you yeah a cross section of jennifer love hewitt and prince in like 93 is
47:35
like that's that's your guy or oh that's your patty i should say i don't know now tanya and patty are
47:42
waiting for their money jesse and chester open the locker they find the briefcase with the money tanya and patty
47:47
are overjoyed they make out patty's painted on mustache is smearing all over
47:53
their face so as soon as they turn back they're they they just they they look filthy i
47:58
don't know what the point of that was that all moving on they go jesse and chester go to the remaining contents of
48:05
the locker here they find a bunch of tickets and just different things from last night oh yeah and a draw one of
48:11
those funny straws a swirly straw yeah and they devise a plan they're basically they're going to contact everybody
48:16
they're going to buy a toy at this place and call it the transfer continuum transfunctioner and pass it off as the
48:22
real thing because they believe that nobody actually knows what this thing looks like because no one's been able to describe it to them
48:28
so jesse and chester are playing some games
48:33
uh and then everybody shows up at the same time we've got our
48:38
five hot chicks with large breasts uh the jock goons christy boner
48:45
the the the two muscled europeans that are looking for the continuing transfunctioner and the zoltan clan
48:51
everybody's here it's just a giant this is like some weird like comedy special where they just had a bunch of guests
48:57
and they had to bring them in they bring them in like little skits and at the end it's like they bring everybody at the end like here you go it's a big song and
49:02
dance number so they realize here that what they pass off as the continuous
49:07
trans functioner was a lie because the two europeans know this
49:13
little spaceship toy thing that they have looks like a pleasure tool or like a pleasure toy or something if you
49:18
didn't know any better um a personal massager tim they're called
49:23
personal massagers personal massagers yeah they know that that's not that's not the continuous transfunctioner
49:29
meanwhile jesse here or chester is playing with the rubik's cube and finally solves it as soon as he solves
49:35
it it like it starts like levitating out of his hands and morphs into this i'll call it
49:41
a spaceball i don't know what it is this is a silver ball with a bunch of lights on it and stuff and uh the point is is that this thing this sphere with the
49:48
lights is now this is the continued trans function here that everyone's been looking for earlier in this episode when i mentioned like just remember that
49:54
nobody has seen this thing or knows what this does okay and even the cult said that they told they're like we don't know what this does
50:00
we don't really understand this thing but then all of a sudden once they crack the rubik's cube and figure it out
50:05
and solve it and it turns into this continuum transfunctioner there's all these lights flashing on these buttons and the guys are like what is this and
50:12
zoltan it just explains perfectly what this thing is and he says it's just gonna
50:17
apparently blow up the whole universe if all these lights stop flashing so somehow this man knows how this thing
50:24
works even though this entire movie everybody you have met that has mentioned the continuum transfunctioner said it is mysterious and we don't know
50:30
how it works especially two guys sven and bjorn they're the only two dudes that actually kind of know how this thing works because they're the the
50:35
keepers of this thing then they've somehow lost it so like this this whole thing is so weird but like just like you know i know
50:43
we're making we're trying to make logic out of a stupid pseudo stoner movie but it really doesn't make any sense right
50:49
as soon as they hand it over to the uh the two europeans to keep for safety
50:55
the five hot chicks with large breasts basically scream and morph into each
51:00
other as one and turn into this giant
51:05
hot alien and then that's that's what that's what they refer to on the screen like it pauses she turns in the it's actually like one
51:12
of like the play playboy playmates of the year of 2000. uh it turns into her she's just this giant
51:19
this giant uh really attractive woman she and she's chasing jessie and chester around this amusement
51:25
park trying to get this continued transfunctioner device jessie and chester are cornered here in the mini
51:31
putt with this uh this ball this continuing trance functioner and this giant woman
51:36
is closing in on them and she's about to i don't know squish them grab them or take the continual transfuncture away i
51:41
don't know and they they're being told being yelled at by like other people like the europeans
51:48
and some other randoms in the movie that you gotta press this one button but it's like so thin it's like you can't press
51:54
it with your finger like this the uh the spot where you need to press it it's like a really narrow hole and chester
52:00
remembers that he has the swirly straw so you use the swirly straw to poke it
52:06
and and then the nutrient functioner lights up and this laser comes out and
52:12
shoots this giant supermodel and she explodes right before she explodes
52:19
here's what she says [Music]
52:25
and then kaboom it's it's oh boy it would have been better to have though
52:30
whoopsie mortal kombat or something yeah that would be kind of funny that'll be amazing so yeah i don't know it's such a
52:37
weird thing i don't know why why she said that sounded like that it's probably the best parts and the grossest parts too here is like
52:43
after this hot chick explodes this giant hot chick explodes i don't know where it comes this dude tommy the big jock dude
52:50
and he is now covered in what looks like we'll say his nutella yeah okay and a giant pair of underwear lands on
52:57
it's so gross i mean clearly it's it's not that but
53:03
like you know it's like that's that's disgusting that's like that's like in uh caddyshack when they put the
53:08
chocolate bar in the pool that's gross you know what it is you know it's no henry but like come on
53:15
so jesse and chester here they're still really annoyed because they don't have their car uh the europeans here are
53:22
about to uh erase their memories they have a stolen prop for men in black and they're about to erase their memories
53:28
and then before they do though jessie and chester like
53:33
i wish we could just figure out a way to do this like so we could still have our presents for our girlfriends and they're
53:39
like oh we can just like send you back in time as if none of this ever happened i think that's what happened because
53:45
it's a they use their little device that they don't name and you kind of see like a little bit of a
53:51
rewind clips from the whole movie itself and then we wake up in the exact same
53:56
the exact same scene as at the very beginning of the movie when jesse and chester are waking up it's the night after the party so they just time
54:03
traveled back to the beginning of the movie i think so we get a replay basically from the very beginning of the
54:09
movie and they're listening to their voice messages and finding out that it's their girlfriend's anniversary
54:14
and they need to go to the car to get their gifts they go out and they go through the same thing they don't see
54:20
their car and they're like dude where's my car where's my car dude and go through that whole silly thing again and
54:25
then a mail truck that's parks across the street pulls away and their car is sitting there it's a piece of crap car by the way so it looks like jesse and
54:31
chester have now found their car it looks like anyways so they drive over to their girlfriend's houses
54:37
and they uh they give them these little bracelets they have for them and the girls go to give them their special
54:42
treats and the guys are really excited and they find out they're just uh a couple of stupid berets with their names
54:48
uh like on their hats and it's like wow thanks guys and what also happens is uh
54:54
there's a another secret there's a secret little present that the aliens have slipped in for the guys as well too
55:01
and there are necklaces and when the girls put these necklaces on the uh the twins i guess just to use the
55:08
verbiage of this movie their their hoo-hoos grow rather large immediately and they
55:14
do yeah and the dudes are like sweet and the girls just apparently aren't just okay with it they have just seen their
55:20
chest enlarge literally in front of them in front of their eyes and they are okay with that
55:25
and that's just it the movie kind of wipes out and now everyone's driving down the road and the boys realize they have tattoos
55:31
that's another thing that so they actually did get tattoos so some of this night actually did happen yeah yeah so it's weird it seemed like the whole
55:37
night was like erased but okay let's let's just do this that's the end of the movie so let's talk about that ending
55:45
so right right from what you said it seems like the whole night got erased however they still had their tattoos so
55:52
i i don't really care if like if they only erased like certain events or they just erased their memory of the night
55:59
wit and or and they teleport their car to make sure i don't i don't understand how this worked uh
56:04
yeah i don't know and it seems like some of this night actually did happen and they've just erased the part with
56:11
the aliens who are dead or something i don't i don't really see this the thing i don't understand time travel movies too much because i feel like there's so
56:17
much malleability with the rules that you could just kind of play with it and it can be whatever because they don't
56:23
really explain that either in this movie so i i i guess they've warped or they've at least erased their brains and kind of
56:30
gone back in time so some of this stuff has happened it seems like because like they have tattoos and they have gifts
56:38
now so i where was their car this whole time like i guess that's what i'm trying to figure out is like where was their
56:43
car before the aliens fixed everything in their world where the hell was their car because it wasn't
56:48
at the guy pierre's house so where did that car go i have no idea and it's kind of like you said like time travel is a hard thing to deal with anyways even the
56:55
best of movies that deal with time travel there's like a lot of questions with this one i don't even think they make any attempt for it to make sense
57:01
whatsoever and i think that's why they don't literally come out and say it's time travel because the ending
57:07
this movie really doesn't make any sense the move the ending of it doesn't help it any either i think it's one of those things where it's like the less you
57:13
explain the better it is you know because the more you explain and the more you try to reveal and paint a picture of it just the more you're like
57:20
what the hell am i watching this isn't grounded to anything you know it's like if you had like a chair that just had
57:25
one leg and was somehow standing up you're like that doesn't make sense so you can't really show people that part you can kind of just show them one angle
57:31
where it looks like the rest of the chairs there another gripe i have is the whole plot of the movie is revolving around them trying to i mean
57:37
find the car but they're looking for the car because they need to give their girlfriends gifts for their anniversary their the gifts are in the car so like
57:44
even like not even halfway through the movie they get their mercedes and like this these tailored suits track suits it
57:50
seems like their problems are solved immediately like you could just you are okay you have a car that's like
57:55
easily like 10 times more valuable than the car that you're searching for couldn't you like and you have all this
58:01
money like why don't you just go and buy new gifts and keep this car this awesome one like why are you even i don't understand
58:08
why are they going through all this thank you yes you they were literally throwing money around with a bunch of women in a scene before that
58:15
you could just go out and buy them something at this point but guess what girls we screwed up but guess what we have all this money
58:21
right now we bought you plane tickets to like vegas for the weekend we're going to go party and hang out wouldn't that
58:26
be so cool or like we're going to check this mercedes we're going to go to the beach and we're going to like we got a hotel or something like you
58:32
could just do whatever at that point you take it for dinner you just take them shopping like you or you could sell the mercedes
58:38
if you wanted to yeah another problem i have with this is that jesse and chester aren't even
58:44
likable like you want to root for something i'm rooting for the zoltan cult like i would
58:49
rather see a whole movie based on that zoltan cult than jessie and chester
58:54
because like like the one it's it's endearing that this whole movie is based on them trying
59:00
to find trying to please their girlfriends however for a good portion of the movie while they're searching for
59:05
these gifts they're hitting in on other women gawking out them touching their breasts they've even revealed that the
59:12
night prior he was in the back seat of a car that he paid christy boner 500 for
59:17
her to like flash him and stuff so like what what kind of these are crappy boyfriends they're they're stupid like
59:23
all around stupid they're they're they're dumb halfway through the movie you're wondering like why am i even rooting for them you know me as a 13
59:29
year old or whatever it was at this point i guess i would yes 13 years old so like yeah this was like
59:34
i probably this was probably my intelligence level at that point you know so it it makes sense for that but everybody else yeah i don't understand
59:41
like past the age of like maybe 18 i i don't get it i don't know i'd be like this this that's not for me man we're
59:47
we're good here i i you're right they are very unlikable but this i also thought it was weird though because like i i like this old dane cult but they're
59:54
i mean you know they they threaten to murder the girlfriends too and they kidnap them and stuff so they're not they're not really nice people either right but i just one thing i thought was
1:00:02
stupid about the zoltan people was just that somehow they are able to intercept
1:00:07
and decode alien transmissions to figure out what this continuum trans functioner does right even though apparently
1:00:13
they've been lying to everybody that's fine but why do you think bubble wrap suits
1:00:18
will work in space i don't know i think they were just looking for anything to be silly and they had a
1:00:24
really low budget i i guess but it's like just the logic doesn't track there it's
1:00:30
like guys we we're smart enough to to make these satellites or whatever like perhaps how intercept satellites or
1:00:36
whatever it is somehow get these transmissions that no one else knows about it apparently it's just them
1:00:42
these people in this barn in the middle of nowhere okay uh these bubble wrap suits like they can figure this out but no one else
1:00:48
can right like i was just like guys like i don't know it would it would be interesting to see a whole movie on just
1:00:53
those guys i think though i'd be far more interested this doesn't happen too often i will never watch this ever again
1:01:00
i will never ever go out of my way to see any portion of this movie ever again for the rest of my life i think i think
1:01:07
there's only a few movies that made that list for you right now i got i almost feel like it's like this movie
1:01:12
so like dude where's my car uh the fanatic and maybe the labyrinth
1:01:17
yeah i i would consider even watching labyrinth again uh the star wars holiday special that's that's one that's up
1:01:23
there i'll never ever well you know actually just for people who haven't seen it people who don't know about it i i really do enjoy showing them that and
1:01:29
just getting their reaction but no not this movie never ever yeah i just watched love watching their
1:01:36
dreams die before their eyes yeah i i just i'm blown away when we go through this whole movie that day like this was
1:01:42
just on tv at seven o'clock at night and just like here you go a good portion of
1:01:47
this hasn't aged very well like we really had to dance around even explaining a lot of these scenes and that's kind of like that's kind of never
1:01:53
fun what a wild of wacky movie yeah it's like i don't know i mean like this was one of those movies i felt like you
1:01:59
like i said you know it's it's rated pg-13 and it's on tv but it's like one of those movies where you just you wanted to watch certain parts when your
1:02:06
parents were like out of the room you're like okay they're going to the kitty cat club hope my parents are going to take a leak right now or something or go on to
1:02:12
you know check the dishwasher or something because i don't want them to see the next three minutes of this movie so maybe you change the channel or something you come back after that right
1:02:18
but yeah like like you said probably don't have much interest in ever watching this again thankfully i think we were talking about this before right
1:02:24
that they were uh they were open to doing some sort of a sequel to this movie but they wanted to be kind of like i think it was like dark or something
1:02:31
like that right they want to make it darker and i guess that was that was supposedly the intention with this movie as well but uh studio pressure and i
1:02:38
don't know writers and whatnot it just didn't end up that way but i think i think this could work like you said like
1:02:44
because it's confusing for what demograph this movie is about i think if they would have went all in on making it
1:02:49
like maybe rated r they might have been able to push it in a way that wasn't so juvenile and actually like make it like
1:02:55
a dark comedy that that could probably work better i mean granted they still probably change a lot
1:03:01
of the content they have considering uh you know the year that we're in these days the present time but i think you
1:03:08
had would have a better chance at being more successful how did you even come for the concept this movie of dude where's my car they're just like so it's
1:03:14
two guys and they don't know where their car is i think it legitimately could have been made by stoners like someone
1:03:21
the people were sitting on the couch you got really high and they were like okay he's looking for his car now what
1:03:27
and just like do this and they just have these this hodgepodge of wacky ideas and they're just like okay let's string this
1:03:32
together in a movie yeah it's just like they got ashton kutcher and charlemagne's got fake high and just we're like all right
1:03:38
let's wander around town and we'll have people walk up and say stuff to you and ask you about a continuum transfunctioner so you know again i
1:03:44
think that's a really good place lee but we really don't need to say any more about this movie because dude i don't care sweet
1:03:50
is there any chance you guys would ever make a sequel there is actually a script it's called seriously dude where's my
1:03:55
card [Music]
1:04:14
you