Inside This Episode.
1. "I'm doing everything right, but I'm still not where I want to be."
2. Looking Forwards vs Looking Backwards.
3. How to stay committed to long-term goals.
4. My NCAA Scholarship grind. The highs, the lows, and how I stayed motivated.
5. Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell; the first book I read cover to cover just because.
Make sure to visit Courtney Online to watch his Leadership VLog.
Send your Questions to us on Twitter at @TheCStephen
If you're looking for the steps to success, then you're in the right place. My name is Courtney Stephen, and this is the come up podcast. Let's get it!:
What's up everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Come Up Podcast. It's your boy. Courtney Stephen in the building yet again with another episode. This is moving along quite fast as well. I mean, for me it is because um, I record a bunch of these episodes back to back and they don't always drop at the same time, but you know, for me we're just, we're just moving along. So as these ideas and these, these words come to me, I'm sharing with them, with you, you know, live and direct. We got the studio upstairs so I just go into my zone. I feel like a musician who just has the studio in their house and they just make as many songs as possible. And put them out. So that's what we're trying to do here. And today I wanted to ask you guys know I didn't want to ask you. I wanted to remind you, I wanted to remind you that you've actually come a lot further than you think you have.Courtney:
You've come a lot further than you think you have. And what I'm really trying to say is one of my, one of my mentors all right, I'll tell you a little story and that will make everything a little bit clearer. So last year I'm sitting down with a one. One of my friends named Susan. All right, she's, she's a monster entrepreneur. Absolute beast. All right. So, I go to her for some guidance and some insights on some things about how I should, you know, make my next moves and you know, just get her take on things because she's been doing this for a long time and she's been very successful. So you know, it never hurts to surround yourself with people who know what they're doing, who found success and can lend a hand as far as guidance. And for me, I was starting to get a little rattled, you know, I was getting real upset. I'm super competitive. I set really high goals for myself and I'm always chasing like I'm always, always, always going, going, going, I need the next thing. I got my eyes on the prize like 24 seven, just trying to make something happen. Like I want it so bad and after, you know, working on some things, some projects, for a few months and not really seeing the results that I wanted. I was getting frustrated. I was in a place where I'm like, I'm doing these steps, I'm doing everything that I think I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm not getting where I want to be at. So, like how much longer do I have to chop wood until this tree is going to fall for me? Like that's the mindset I was in.:
I'm sure that you might've been here at some point in time or another, you know, it's in some way shape or form that we all have goals. If we write them down and we don't write them down, we all have goals is certain things that we want to do. And in that moment when lead, you been working at it for awhile, like weeks and months, maybe sometimes even years, it can feel like... Yo, this is almost like impossible. Like this goal is so far away. No, the amount of work I do today could be monumental and I'm still adjust, you know, chipping the paint like I'm not even putting a dent in this thing. And basically what, what Susan told me was we spent so much time looking forwards at what is the next thing we're trying to do and maybe we got three, four, five things that we're trying to do, you know, and we're so caught up in that moment of looking forwards. This is where I want to be. But I'm not there yet that we often forget how far we've actually come to even be in a position where we have the opportunity to strive for these goals.Courtney:
We don't ever really look back and think about the gap from where we began to where we are. We're always looking at the gap between where we are and where we want to be and on the big scheme of life. And when you zoom out, if you look at your life as a timeline and you zoom out on that timeline and look at your whole life, look from where you really started out to get on the path that you're on right now. Remember that time? Like go back there? For me, it's probably somewhere in high school. That's where I probably started maybe even a little bit before because I mean I can tell you what some of my, my big, my really big goals are. Mainly for football. Okay, let's start there.:
I want to finish my career with 400 tackles and 25 interceptions. Now, is that hall of fame numbers? I don't know. Is that I like, I don't know. Those things are so subjective that I say numbers that were like I could measure. Did I hit this or did I not hit this? Right? So for me, I wanted to get 400 tackles. Where'd I get 400? Well, if you really want. No. One of my coaches, he played football for 12 years. He had like 405 tackles and they use a BS. So I'm like, all right, that's the bar, let's go get that bar. I felt like 400 tackles. That's a solid career. You could put your stamp on dad. Be Proud of that. So I'm like, look, 400 tackles. Twenty five interceptions. I currently am in my sixth season and I'm somewhere around 200, 220 210. I don't even know. I'm like, I'm about halfway and I got 11 interceptions.Courtney:
Alright. So I got I've got a lot more work to do. All right. What else I want to do entrepreneurially? I want to open a training facility, like a big, a big one, you know like a gym, turf fields, you know, physio therapy, massage therapy, all the amenities, study rooms, all that kind of stuff. I want to, I want to have these spot where athletes come to train in Canada. I want, I want to start that because after what I've experienced through my career, going to school, playing at Great University in Canada and then going to the states and playing in a division one program, you know, I've seen what those kinds of amenities can do for people's potential and how taken advantage of your athletic skills can springboard the rest of your life. Like I want to bring that to my hometown or to the area where I live now. I mean other things too. I want to accomplish. I want to pay off my mortgage. Who doesn't, you know? But that's, that in and of itself is a long term commitment for 90, 95 percent of people. Some people never pay the mortgage off, believe it or not.:
I want to write a book. That's something that's on a lot of people's list, but I'm dead serious about it. I've done like three outlines. The three different books I've written these down. I got them in my phone, but like I've never really gone in all the way and wrote the books. I just feel like, man, how do you eat that elephant? You know what I mean, like obviously one bite at a time, but jeeze! And then my last really big audacious goal is I want to deliver a presentation in front of 5,000 people, 5,000 plus. I mean that's like, that's like a small concert and for me, you know, being a guy who a couple years ago was nervous to get up in front of a group of 50. I remember my very first presentation that I did as a professional athlete. I got up in front of a group of kindergarten to grade fives and you know, we're talking about nutrition and eating healthy and at the end somebody asked me a question in up in. They raised their hand and asked me a question about bullying. I got stumped. Like right there, I'm like, man is public speaking. So it might not be for me, but now I'm seeing here, you know, after I've done so many more presentations, like five, six, seven years later and like I'm so much more comfortable now. It's exciting to get in front of people. I want to take it to the biggest stage that I could get on. So like all these goals you could see how, you know for, for some people they might not be a big deal, but for me, for me these goals or like... a few years off, a lot of years off. Some of them. Most of them like these are things that are hard. They're going to take a lot of work, like grinding, like real effort focused ever over time. Like there's a very good possibility that I'm not gonna achieve pretty much every one of these on the list. It would be extremely realistic possibility and I don't hit any of these goals, but at the same time I look in the mirror and I'm like, you're the type of person who needs to get this stuff done. Like this is why you wake up in the mornings. These are the things that you need to make sure happen when your time goes. So that kind of contradiction right there is tough. Like a brings a lot of stress. You let it. But in order to even strive for these goals, got to go back and think about when you started out... How were you thinking about approaching your journey? What kind of motivation did you have to even set out on the journey in the first place? When I was just young, hungry football player, I wasn't getting paid to play. I wasn't speaking in front of anybody. I wasn't, I wasn't on instagram like posting my videos of me working out. Cause there wasn't instagram. Yes. Instagram is like pretty new. I'm not that old like there was barely youtube, you know what I mean? Like youtube came out while I was in high school. So I'm talking about... when I first started out I just love to play the game. I was super competitive and I wanted to go to college to play. So, anything that was gonna help me do that. I did it all. I was competitive. I was driven jogging, you know, 20 minutes with my backpack on when my ladder, my cleats, couple water bottles, you know, a towel and a little mini. The little mini speaker or something like that just to go to the hill so I could run hills light because I wanted nothing. I wanted nothing worse than to make you know that, that, that college football dream come true. Like I just want it to be able to be that guy who did what he said he was going to do. Like that mentality of just wake up early, do your thing, then go get a part time job for the rest of the day. Then come home, go to the gym, lift weights. You know what I mean? Like nothing mattered except my goals. And if I didn't take care of that back then, then I wouldn't be in a position where I am now, where the goals that I have now after all the things that I've been through... Got to school, you know, played injuries, transfer, sit out, not get drafted in the NFL, PA, tear my hamstring at at my pro day. Come in as a rookie play, you know, lose to grey cups. Like all kinds of stuff. Live in. I've lived in 17 different places. Well, I know I've lived in 13 places, I moved 17 times because I moved back home a couple times in between seasons over the last like eight years. I mood like 17 times. To be able to be where I'm at now. Like there was certain groundwork that had to be laid. There were certain ground work that had to be late. There is things that had to happen in your life that you had to go through, things that you probably forgot about by now and at that moment when you were going through them, they were the biggest thing happening in your life.Courtney:
Like the first time I read a book cover to cover for enjoyment for pleasure, I was changing was transferring schools from Wilfrid laurier to Northern Illinois. And a good friend of mine, my man Alex, we were hanging out downtown Toronto at our buddy Connor's house. He had a bookshelf. His Dad was writing for the Toronto newspaper. He has a ton of books. He had this book, it was new at the time. I think outliers, Malcolm Gladwell. He said, man, this is the greatest book. It changed my life. I'm like, are you serious? This book whistle special about this book. He's like, look, I'll give it to you. You read it, but I know you're leaving. I needed back in seven days, like seven days. Geez, I never read a book cover to cover. Let alone is seven days. Are you kidding me? He's like 250, 300 pages. He's like, man, I promise you. You opened his book. You read it. You won't be able to put it down, but I need it by next Friday. Some all take the book, bring it home. I think I must have read the book and like four days I was astonished. I. I was amazed at myself, but in that right, they're getting over that little hurdle. We're at that moment in that time right there. I was so impressed with myself. The fact that I actually read the book. If you knew me growing up, I did not read these books. I always read the first, the first chapter, one sentence from each other chapter and then the last chapter and tried to put it all together. You know, that was a turning point for me to now to the point where I read so frequently that I want to be the person to author a book, but like you don't just wake up one day and write a book. You don't just wake up one day and your mortgage is paid off. You don't just retire at the end of a pro career without having to go through high school, College, get drafted, get on a team, get on the field, make plays, and then so many years down the line as so much luck and things falling your way have to happen. That then you might have the possibility of reaching those goals.:
If you're frustrated, because I know I get frustrated on a regular basis. I want everything. I want it all. I want it all. I promise I want it all, but sometimes when it's not there yet, you gotta Stop, Humble Yourself, Look back, reflect and understand how far you've actually come to have the possibility, be realistic that you can even aim for these thingsCourtney:
I've got so many friends now who are starting businesses and doing things that they might not have even thought they could possibly do before, but it's like hanging out with me, Oh, I'm going to push you, I'm going to push you. Because that's what they always did for me if they believe it or not, you know.:
When I was, when I was away at school and I'm like, really? Just trying to give myself the all the motivation I need because that stuff was tough. Walking on with no scholarship, trying to earn it. That stuff was tough. I remember I will go online, go on twitter, going facebook kit up my boys and every, every time without fail, every time somebody would hit me back like, "hey, everybody's watching you bro. You got this." Those little, those little messages like that. Back then it was everything and I know how powerful it was.Courtney:
Now when I get up on stage or if I get in front of a school or I'm around other people and I know that the words that I'm saying king can be so powerful and can, can make a difference, it's because I experienced it myself. I wouldn't be able to appreciate that unless I went through certain things firsthand. So now I have those tools to pay forward. Now I can get up in front of 5,000 people in actually has something of value to add. Not everybody could just wake up and go talk in front of a group of people. You have to be able to add value. You have to have something to lean on. You have to have experience.:
So I guess all of these little anecdotes, stories, all of that. I'm just really trying to say, look right now, you might be frustrated. You might be hurting. You might seem like you far off from where you really want to be. Some things might not be going your way. Likely, things are not perfect, but let me tell you, if you quit right now, you're not just quitting right now. All the work that you've done to get to this point is going down the drain and out the window. So don't be hurt. Don't be hurt for no reason. Go back to the first time when you first set out on your journey, think about it. Getting that mindset understand. Go through the emotions, get back in that perspective that you were in when you first started out. Find out how bad he really wanted it and remind yourself like, Yo, I've been through so much already that I could go through so much more. I just had to remind myself. I just had to look in the mirror. Been through the battle, got battle scars. But you know what? Shoe is going to be a lot more to come and at the end of this road, that's when we really going to celebrate because the truth of the matter is the road don't end. After you achieve whatever is on your list. I'm sure there will be much bigger and better goals to chase because that's just how life works and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna keep chasing regardless. You know. So that's my time for today guys. But I encourage you to share this with somebody if you know they might like it if you haven't already, leave me a rating. Hit me up. Social media, twitter, instagram, same. Handle @TheCStephen and, shoutout the boy Jimmy. He'd been doing a great job putting this thing together, man. It's a team effort team, TCU. So until next time y'all hold it down, man, keep going after them goes chase your dreams or a stay asleep. Peace.