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Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
The Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast offers insight into the world of the Highly Sensitive Person, and helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic gifts.
Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast
The Power of Breathwork and High Sensitivity in Men with Alan Piatek
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About Alan Piatek
In today's episode, we talk about, 'The Power of Breathwork and High Sensitivity in Men' with Alan Piatek.
Alan is a certified Systemic Coach, NLP Practitioner, and Breathwork Facilitator. With a deep interest for the human being, it is his passion to help others and guide them to a balanced, more meaningful and self-loving life. His coaching is rooted in evidence-based methods and prioritizes tangible results over empty promises. It draws upon a combination of modern coaching techniques and ancient wisdom.
Alan and I connected when working at a mindfulness retreat and wellbeing centre in Portugal. During my time there, I offered a workshop on High sensitivity, which gave Alan a new insight into the temperament and how he relates to the term. As a result, Alan has ended up supporting and attending our annual HSP retreat for HSP.
In this episode, we speak about Alan’s experience as a coach and facilitating breathwork sessions. We discuss the benefits of breathwork for Highly Sensitive People and also, more specifically, High Sensitivity in men. Alan talks about his lived experience of identifying with HSP and he shares how, since finding out about the temperament, this has significantly impacted his life and wellbeing.
We also talk about our annual Highly Sensitive Person retreat in the UK, you can find more details about the retreat here: https://academy.highlysensitivehumans.com/pages/highly-sensitive-person-retreat
Links:
Alan's Linkedin
Alan's Instagram
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself Kindle Edition by Michael A. Singer
New Life Foundation
Online Men's Group run by Alan through New Life Foundation
About the Host: Jules De Vitto is a transpersonal coach, trainer and experienced educator for Highly Sensitive People. She helps those who identify with the traits of high sensitivity to navigate emotional overwhelm, step into their authentic power and align with their true purpose in life. She is a published author and wrote one of a series of books on Resilience, Navigating Loss in a time of Crisis. Her research has also been published in the Transpersonal Coaching Psychology Journal and Journal of Consciousness, Spirituality, and Transpersonal Psychology.
You can stay connected with Jules through...
Instagram
Linkedin
The Highly Sensitive Human Academy™ - join our 3-month professional training: coaching Highly Sensitive People
The child offers a insight into the world of the highly sensitive person. The help first can identify with the traits of high sensitivity to feel more empowered and resilient without denying their authentic is welcome to this podcast episode where I'm really excited to be talking with Alan.
SPEAKER_01So Alan is a coach and breastwork instructor who uses and integrates a lot of breastwork into his practice. Alan and I connected when I was working at a mindfulness retreat and wellbeing centre in Portugal. And during my time there, I offered a workshop on high sensitivity, which gave Alan a new insight into the temperament and how he relates to the term. As a result, Alan has ended up supporting and attending our annual HSP retreat in the UK. And so in this episode, we talk about Alan's experience as a coach and facilitating breastwork sessions, and we also discuss the benefits of breastwork for highly sensitive people. And more specifically, we talk about high sensitivity in men. So Alan talked about his lived experience of identifying as a HSP and having found out about the temperament, he tells how this has impacted his life in quite a significant way. So I'm really excited to share this episode with you and I hope you enjoy it. So welcome Alan and thank you so much for being on the podcast today.
SPEAKER_03Thanks for having me. Good to be here.
SPEAKER_01So obviously we met at New Life Portugal, and I was wondering if we could start by saying a few things about our time there. So yeah, would you be able to say a bit about New Life Portugal and what it was you were doing there and yeah, how we met as well?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, actually New Life dates back um a bit more for both of us, right? Um so we never met in Thailand, in New Life Thailand, but um I know you were there for some time and uh I was there as a guest uh more than five years ago. And yeah, uh through that I knew that they have a space in Portugal as well, and I applied there as a volunteer in um during a stage of my life where I was um switching careers from software sales to uh coaching. And uh I've been working at New Life uh for about six months, and yeah, we met, I believe, this year, uh beginning of this year.
SPEAKER_04Correct, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And um, so yeah, it was um before we met uh a bit of a different time um over there. Um but it was yeah, it's super nice to connect with someone like you um who you know works on these topics that I'm also very interested in. And um, I feel like we clicked from day one. And um it was it was great to have this valuable exchange with you and uh you know those daily walks um discussing about um new learnings, new ideas. And um yeah, that was great.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I know for myself it was a really nourishing time. So New Life Portugal is all about this integrative, holistic way of supporting people through their healing and transformation. So I was offering coaching, counseling there, workshops. We would have um daily morning meetings where we met in community and morning meditation practice. And I found even though I was working there, it was such a transformative time for myself as well. And I think one of the biggest aspects of that was the community and living in community, which at times brought a lot of challenges, but also there was something so profound about every day being able to connect and see people and talk about what was going on in terms of your struggles, um, insights. And I know, yeah, you and I had a lot of those uh insights and conversations during our time there as well. So I was wondering for you, what did you find to be the most uh transformative aspect of that experience being there?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's a good question. Um I think there are many things that I could uh list, um, but definitely I would agree with the community aspect that you just mentioned. Um so yeah, living so closely with so many people um and feeling, you know, being reflected by each person every day and you know, seeing what triggers you, uh, you know, maybe feeling the triggers in them, uh, those small you know details in the in the face expression, for example. Um, you'd see those people day in and day out. Um that you and and yeah, that was it was a very new experience and uh and and something to you know always reflect on, I feel. Um so I felt like I was continuously learning about myself during the time. Um also um having a routine is something that that I found very, very helpful. Um so this daily routine that was, like you said, repeating every day with the morning meeting in the morning, gathering together, meditating together, um, and then breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time. Um so really having this structure that um I didn't have to take care of myself, so I had more time for everything else, basically.
SPEAKER_04Right, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I also found the routine to be so invaluable, and I guess we'll go on to talk about this, how that relates to being a highly sensitive person as well, because I I'm interested by this sense of I'm also an introvert, so I'm highly sensitive and introverted, but I also really crave connection and community and being around people, it's really important to me and my well-being. So it'll be great to talk more about how that goes hand in hand with being highly sensitive. So, do you relate to being highly sensitive? Um, I'm curious to hear more about that for you and also what it means in terms of being a man and being highly sensitive as well.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So, to be honest, um I found out about um HSP, about highly sensitivity through you in that level of detail when you met at New Light. Um so I I I remember uh hearing this term before, um, but you know, I didn't really look into it. Uh a friend of mine he told me that he's highly sensitive, and I was like, oh, is this like something that you that you say just because you feel sensitive, or is that like a like a proper definition? And you know, we spoke in German, so uh him saying that in German just sounded new to me. And so only only when uh you gave the workshop in New Life uh about highly sensitivity and you know provided the test by um Elaine Arran, I believe.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_03Um and yeah, I I realized and recognized that there are many aspects about highly sensitivity that I feel in myself a lot, resonated a lot. And it really shifted my perception of uh highly sensitivity, uh, or as rather I would say it shifted my perception about some weaknesses I thought I had.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Um so for instance, I used to think that I I was never the type type of guy that is good in groups, um, you know, so I'm just more than one one-to-one guy, and uh I don't I don't have uh strength, you know, being in groups, being vocal in groups. And lots of my male friends especially were quite uh self-confident and uh vocal and dominant. So then I thought, you know, like I'm just not like that. Um this is you know, they're really strong with that, and I'm not, and um and it is what it is, you know. I I focus on maybe one-to-one conversations, or uh maybe three people or four people max, but that's it. Um and through you know finding out more about highly sensitivity, I recognize that this is actually not a weakness but a strength. Uh if I know how to um yeah, leverage, not leverage but control it, or or maybe maybe I should say depending on the um perspective that I take. So if I know that there is this certain group that I will meet tonight or a party or something, um I can now shi shift my um awareness or energy level I I should say maybe to um yeah, just cope with that group in in a way that suits me and suits my energy, right?
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Um and in other groups I know, for example, I can let go and and just you know be completely myself and and and vulnerable and open. And that will be all that'll also be fine, and that will probably give me energy because in this group I would feel so comfortable.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Um and knowing that is really a big difference maker for me in my life when it comes to my energy level. And connected with that I feel s like a sense of overthinking as well. You know, like I would ask myself, why don't I feel comfortable in this setting? What's what's going on that's that's bothering me? It seems like it doesn't bother other people. Why, you know, and does it agitate me? Um and today I know it's it's probably of s of something that I that I feel overwhelmed, and and now I have some uh helpful breathing tools that I can use to calm down and ground myself, and and with that it's just a very different level of um quality in life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. So I appreciate you saying that you only found out about it recently because I think that happens for a lot of people and especially for a lot of men, that they're finding out about the term a highly sensitive person later in life. And as you pointed out, when they find out about the term, it really helps them to reframe their experiences and see it from a different perspective. So rather than seeing it as a weakness, what I hear you saying is you can instead attend more to what you need in different situations. So yeah, you can um obviously apply different resources and tools to help with that overwhelm or whatever it is you're experiencing in different situations, right?
SPEAKER_03Absolutely, yeah. And yeah, we just talked about this uh aspect of being overwhelmed, right? But um, it has so many other implications as well. Um interactions with uh with my friends, with male friends especially, you know, like today, uh even with some friends that are that necessarily don't talk about emotions, um they can, but it's not something you know that uh that happens naturally, let's say, in in every conversation. Um even with those friends now I feel like I'm way more myself and I talk about my emotions, I talk what's going on for me, I talk what I talk about what um what I'm sensing in my body. Um and you know, I feel like I can I can um stand up for that. Right because I know today I also know that's a strength and that's something and that I hope more people, especially more men, will get access to. You know, those emotions, those feelings that maybe can be overwhelming, but they're also beautiful if you know how to deal with them.
SPEAKER_01Right. Absolutely. And you mentioned breath work, so I'd love to ask you a bit more about that. Uh I know that you work as a life coach and a breathwork coach as well. So this is a big part of your practice, and you mentioned how it relates to navigating the overwhelm and the emotions. So, yeah, can you tell us a bit more about how you use this as a tool, especially as a highly sensitive person?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, uh yes, I would love to. So I discovered breathwork about two, two and a half years ago um through Wim Hof. Right. And um in direct combination with cold showers. There was there was my daily routine in the beginning that I was doing some of his breathing um methods, especially the very activating one, and then going um into a cold shower. And back then it was during the pandemic, I was very um surprised how well how much this helped me to uh shift my energy. And um and I've been practicing that for quite some time, only until at New Life I discovered that um through a breathwork coach there, um I discovered that there are there's much, much more uh depth into breath work, into breathing, functional breathing. So what's the correct way to breathe? And I'm saying all of this because breath work is very popular at the moment. Um there are many, many breath work practitioners out there, more and more coming up, so many teachings and all of that. Um and it's definitely like a bit of a trend as as yoga has been 10 years ago, I would say. Um but it's easier to get a certification as a breathwork coach. You can just do it online, you don't have to go to any uh retreat and stay there for a month and learn. But you know, it's it's quite easy to call yourself breathwork uh facilitator or coach. And um and I'm saying that because as a highly sensitive person, um you want to learn and know the differences in the breathing um tools, method.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Um those act there are activating ones, so very strong breathings, very short breathings that are strong that activate the nervous system, and they can be very agitating.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03Um so when you're already highly sensitive and agitated, stressed, you know, feeling a sense of anxiety, doing an activating breathwork uh method and activating breathing, um doesn't necessarily help you with that state of mind and energy level. Um it can make it even worse. You know, so um one should know the difference between that there are activating ones and calming ones. And um for me, only at at the time at New Light and when I did my breath work uh certification and and and I was really digging into that um into the um depth of of uh breathing, functional breathing breath work, that um I now know um that it's extremely important to rather practice those calming and grounding ones because especially in those ever-changing and super dynamic times that we are in right now with so much happening around us, for an HSP that's yeah, even more overwhelming than it was than it used to.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And it's gonna get even worse in the sense of speed and overwhelm. Um and that's why I like to teach or I like to focus my my breathing coaching around calming and grounding breathing, but also using activating ones to uh really know, really shake off the stress and the um blockages, energy blockages that that we have. Um for this, activating breathing is very, very um effective. Um, but we need to know tools that help us to ground afterwards and during times of agitation and anxiety.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I appreciate what you're saying about the fact there's different types of breath work, and it's really important to differentiate between the different styles. So, for a highly sensitive person, how would we know what is needed at a particular time? So you're talking about the activating breath work practices. Is there ever a time that they can be helpful? You've already started talking about it somewhat, but for a highly sensitive person, when might they be a good uh practice and what kind of day uh time of day as well would it be a good time to practice those?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, very good questions. Um, so I feel like most of the breath work um sessions that are offered here in Berlin where I live, or probably in London and many different cities in England as well, um, that these breathing sessions are usually quite activating. So there you can find different kinds of um breath works, like holotrophic breathing, uh, transformative breathing, uh the Wim Hof style, um, and and different others. And they are usually, I think, offered in the evenings, right? Um so this breath work session, this kind of breath work session can be very helpful after a long day, you know, stressful day, and going there and yeah, it's it's again activating your nervous system, but um deactivating the prefrontal cortex, which is our thinking mind, um, because this strong activating breathing tells our nervous system there's something going on, you know, we are in this fight or flight mode, um, we're stressed, um, but you're in a safe safe space and setting, and you know, every everything is alright. So basically, what happens, your thinking mind, the prefrontal cortex, gets deactivated and you you connect to the amygdala, which is uh the part of the brain on where you know emotions um are processed. And um in that state, we can then tap into our more into our body, into our emotions that are stuck in the body, and uh with that, if it's a good life facilitator, um he or she would help us to um yeah really let go, surrender and and relax the body to let go of those tensions, the daily stress, um, any any energy blockages, um, and then having a moment to wind down afterwards and and take it easy, maybe meditate later, um, would help us a lot, a lot to release stress and and and daily anxiety, anything um that is stuck. Um but again, it's important to know those tools that we can then use to ground ourselves uh to meditate and and and feel the stillness as well.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And so would you recommend this as a practice that someone engages in every day? Uh I'm curious about how to develop a good routine with the breath work. So for a highly sensitive person, if they wanted to integrate this into their day-to-day life, how could they do that or what might that look like for them?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I like to look at it from two sides. So on the one hand, um, you know, understanding those different breathing styles, what they do, um, knowing different techniques, um, and yeah, practicing those is one thing. Um I think it's also important to understand what's the right way to breathe. So this functional breathing um part. Um because we never we never learned how to breathe properly. You know, we can we can get without food for weeks, without water for days, but uh try out breathing for three to five minutes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And uh and that's why it's funny that we never really learned how to how to breathe properly. And um and there are you know just a few basics that uh that we need to know, which is um you know, we should never breathe through the through the mouth unless it's um high um high-level uh sport, something where you um yeah need to breathe through the mouth. But uh otherwise the nose is all that all that we should focus on. Um it filters bacteria from the air, you know, it warms up the air, um and you can breathe uh much slower through the nose. So breathing through the nose would be number one. Um the number two would be uh breathing deeply. So what in yoga we call belly breathing is um actually more accurate would be diaphragmatic breathing, so breathing into this part below our lungs, filling filling that up. And the diaphragm is a muscle, so we can train it, and you know, just looking for some practices to train the diaphragm and uh breathe deeper. And then the last thing, what I just already just said, breathing deeper and slower. So what I always like to say is breathe in slowly, um sorry, breathe in deeply, breathe out slowly. And yeah, that's that's I would say a basis for starting to improve my breathing patterns and um and then practicing those uh breathing methods, those different ones, um you can do it in the in the correct way and just become a more vital and and more energized human being. Um because the breathing is yeah connected to our nervous system, to directly with our organs, um and and with our mind. So we cannot control our mind, but we can control the breath. The only fun function in the body that is uh that is um conscious and unconscious.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I think that in itself is such a powerful knowing. I know that before I came across breath work, I didn't even realise but for a long time in the past, I would be holding my breath when I was feeling anxious, or I wouldn't be breathing into my belly, I would only be breathing into my chest. And sometimes, yeah, I'd be breathing really uh fast as well, but again, quite shallow breathing. So I think some of the things you just shared in terms of breathing slowly, breathing into the belly, just being aware of what the breath is doing is so powerful in itself. So even if you don't know the details of particular techniques, you can start to apply that straight away just simply by noticing what your breath is doing, right?
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Yeah. And you asked me earlier what could be a good routine for starting off with breath work. Honestly, a few breaths, a few conscious uh breaths a day are already enough. You know, you don't even have to necessarily integrate it into a routine or create a new routine. You can do it when going to the subway or when sitting in the in the cab, or yeah, when entering the home, you know, make it make it a um a routine, you could say, or a habit when you put your key into the door, just take three deep and conscious breaths.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And leave everything behind you that's you know that you don't want to take home. The breath can really serve as this tool to move energy, move this and move those thoughts away, you know. Um using the outbreath as letting go.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And just a few few uh of such breaths a day already make a difference. Um and you know, if you want to become A bit more serious about it. I would say five to ten minutes in the morning where you practice um breathing into the diaphragm, also um holding some uh air after breathing out so your CO2 tolerance becomes uh higher, and um and that's what we want to achieve as well. And so doing some of the functional breathing um techniques and then um practicing a method that you enjoy that you feel is something that might help you now, which you know I can also introduce some uh some breathing methods if you like to. Um, but yeah, that's that's that's like an ongoing process, I would say.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And I know that last year you came on the highly sensitive person retreat that we did in Kent in June, and it was such a beautiful experience. And on the retreat, you led us through some breathwork activities and practices which I found so profound. I remember one of them we were laying down and listening to music as well, and I was in such a relaxed, blissful state during that. So I was wondering if you could talk a bit about what you led us through on the retreat and also to mention it because we will be doing the retreat again next year in June. So um, yeah, could you share a bit more about that practice?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, absolutely. So I just want to say again, um, I love reminiscing this uh retreat. Um it was such a beautiful experience. So thank you for that. And um and yeah, it's such a such a wonderful weekend, really. Um I yeah, I I I was trying to combine those things that I um just explained, right? A little bit of the on the functionality side, so practicing that a little bit and trying to you know show everyone um those few basics that you know everyone should practice to to just become more vital and and healthy. Sorry. And on the other hand, um introducing different breathing methods and tools um to practice and and yeah, feel how it makes us feel differently. And uh I used um some activating uh breathing um to get us into this more emotional state or feeling our our our body and sensing ourselves, and we were lucky to have um to have silent disco headphones. Um so I was able to, I mean this was the one that really stuck out to me, the session. I felt really, really beautiful. Um when everyone had headphones on, I was playing music through the headphones and guiding the session through the microphone. And and yeah, I feel like many people were able to let go, to relax into it, and and maybe yeah, I mean everything was about letting go that session. Um so hopefully, you know, it's it gave a few people the possibility to let go of what no longer serves them. Um and I I could really feel that in my heart as well. That's um yeah, it was a beautiful session and a beautiful experience overall.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, and reflecting on it as well. I'm just thinking about how a lot of what we did on the retreat were very embodied practices. So we had yoga, we had the breath work sessions, we had a silent disco, which was similar to ecstatic dance, and we were out in nature and it was so beautiful to practice that. Yeah, and just doing it in community as well. I think something that was so amazing about the retreat was bringing like-minded people together. And also I loved the fact that we had pretty much an equal number of men and women on the retreat. And I remember at one point we divided into uh two groups so that the women could come together to share their experiences, and then you as men were able to connect and talk about your experience of being a highly sensitive man. Um, so that kind of leads me into the next topic where I'd love to ask you more about that experience of being a highly sensitive man. I know you said you found out about the term quite recently, but also in sharing and connecting with other men about this topic, how has that supported you? Um and yeah, how has it helped you to make sense of your experience?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I think I was um lucky or yeah, good um good, I there was a good timing maybe on my side uh when I when I um arrived at New Life in Portugal, that um Julian, the founder of New Life, um, he asked me if I would like to lead the men's groups over there.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03And it was a weekly men's group um with rotating men that participated because new guests arrived. And I remember doing um or participating in a man's group five years ago at New Life in Thailand, and um I loved this experience. What I loved is this sense of feeling I'm not in this by myself or alone. And and then being able to facilitate those uh men's groups um really showed me that men from you know different age groups, um, different backgrounds, different countries, um yeah, from different jobs, occupations, um share the same. You know, like they we all it's it also it's also the case for me, of course, we all um want to feel want to feel that we are alive and experience this this amazing beauty of life around us and and this experiences that we make and people that we meet, love and and heartbreak. Um and everyone because was sharing so vulnerably in in these groups um that I realize that we all have this all men all all I think women have uh easier access into emotions than men usually. Um but but men have that too and and I think it doesn't only count for um highly sensitive men but for all men. Um but you know maybe it's a bit more buried, I would say. Um and and but when being able to share in a safe space, in a confidential space, in with with others that are there and respecting each other's not cross-talking over each other or you know, uh giving advice or anything, um, then beautiful things happen and and and get shared and and you realize, wow, you know, I never thought of him like this. You know, I thought he would be very closed, you know, very stuck in his uh thinking that then you know he would open up and and and share and from the heart. And and so on the retreat, having this this man's group with high sensitive men even more so I felt that there was this um connection and and depth of sharing um because you know we feel similar in so many ways in terms of how we experience the world around us. Um but I really do think that many more men are um sensitive and and and have access to that sensitivity. It's um it's somewhere in there for sure.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I do agree that it's more difficult for men to access their vulnerability or their sensitivity or their emotions because I think there's more stigma attached to it, uh, especially growing up as a as a boy. Um, you know, you're often told things like don't cry, just get over it, you're being too sensitive, too soft. So I was wondering if you could speak a little bit to that. Is that something you experienced in terms of that stigma of what a man should be and what it means to be able to access your emotions and more that more vulnerable side of being a man?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um so in my case, I I grew up in in Germany and Berlin, um, but uh my parents immigrated here from Poland uh about 40 years ago. And about 40 years ago, Poland was very different Poland as it is now. It was still very traditional, it was way more simple and and coming from there, you know, our parents or parents or you know, uh my parents uh and others in their age group um grew up with with parents who suffered from war, from huge trauma, from not having anything, you know, like food scarcity.
SPEAKER_04Um Poland had a very, very rough time.
SPEAKER_03And um and so usually I would say uh men in Poland um are very sensitive but um have difficulties expressing this. Um and there was also the case for my dad, who um was a very sensitive man, but um it oftentimes came out through aggression. Especially, I mean there was a there was a phase in in life um where where this was the case, but not not for too long. Um but because we had such a good connection to each other, him and I and my brother and him as well, uh we were able to talk about those things, you know, and he he was um expressing what he's feeling and what's going through him, um, sometimes maybe sharing a bit too much. You know, you don't always want to hear everything as a child. But um I looking back, I I I loved it because you know you could feel like this um 40-something year old man um you know is is sensitive and is feeling and um it's not having a having maybe a difficult time, but um but he's trying. And so my brother and I we we talk about that a lot nowadays, that uh we are very thankful for that. Um and so for a long time, as I said earlier, I thought it was a weakness. Um that I'm uh that sensitive and overthinking things, and you know, I was always looking for the bigger meaning, the why behind things. Right and um and um today, only today I know that that this is um this can really be seen as a strength. It's really a pr perspective, a shift in perspective. And then and then you know you there's a new reality um because because you know knowing how to deal with it um helps such a great deal and and and then comparing it to my dad now, um it's it's you know, knowing how to to express those emotions and who to share it with and how to share it. And um and and then you know you can channel this overwhelm, this emotion, this sadness, this um whatever it is. Um but doing it in a in a in a in a in a in a way that works for us, um with the the awareness that we know how to uh what to do and how to do it um I think we can all really shift our perception and and and create a life that just yeah, works better for us and where we can thrive more and better and where we can express our emotions and doing that with other men, with other women, you know, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_03And and I really hope and I see there is a shift coming um and happening with my clients, with yeah, the men's groups that I'm in. Um because yeah, we know that we cannot continue like that. And um there has to be a change and um it's happening slowly, but I really I've been really feeling hopeful uh recently because of the people I met and the conversations I had on such a deep emotional level.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's incredible that you had that experience with your father growing up and also with your brother, this ability to be able to talk about your emotions um and have that modeled to you as well. And I know for a lot of people, a lot of people don't have that experience with their families or their parents, and I think that's why the community uh groups and the men's group, the women's groups are so important because we can still find that later in life. If you didn't have that experience growing up, then you can still reach out and find those connections that you're speaking to. I think it is happening more and more. And I think that's also why we do the HSP retreat every year, because we want to bring people together and have that opportunity. So yeah, I also feel hopeful that we're accessing a new era where this is we're having more open conversations about high sensitivity and about emotions and how we can support each other too.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, definitely. And and you know, the breath can be such an easy tool, really, to access. Everyone has it, you know, everyone's doing it the whole time. Um you can do it anywhere, you know. So really helping you to calm down, to relax, to connect with yourself, um, letting go of things as well, um, surrendering more and more to to the flow of life and not holding on to so much. Um that's where I believe the breath is just such a useful, useful and more than useful. I don't even know the right words to explain it, but it's you know, it's so it's so funny because it's so yeah.
SPEAKER_01So thank you so much for everything you've shared. And I like to ask this question to everyone I interview on the podcast. So, do you have a favorite book or quote or poem or something you'd like to share, something which you return to again and again or relates to this topic today?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So I think my favorite books, especially recently, were the books by uh Michael Singer, Michael Alan Singer. Um he writes a lot about the art of letting go and surrendering to life. You know, I know I've said it earlier in the podcast, um, but um I never really understood what that means, letting go, surrendering, you know, like I heard it a lot, but I feel that he explains it really, really well and provides very helpful tools as well to maybe even work with the breath and letting go of you know any attachments that we have. Small, smaller, big ones, but um letting go will allow us to lead a lighter life.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I would say that was a very profound book or books by him. And actually, in combination with that, I actually have a a favorite poem that I really love that is also about letting go.
SPEAKER_01Fantastic.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you could read it out.
SPEAKER_01Please, yeah, I would love to hear it.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I think you've heard me uh reading it before.
SPEAKER_01I think so, yeah. I think I know the one.
SPEAKER_03Okay. I was the type of person that held on to things too tight. I'm able to release my grip when it no longer felt right. And although it gave me blisters and my fingers would all ache, I always thought that holding on was worth the pain it takes. I used to think in losing things I'd lose part of me too. That slowly I'd become someone my heart no longer knew. Then one day, something happened. I dropped what I once held dear, but my soul became much lighter instead of filled with fear. And it taught my heart that some things are not meant to last for long. They arrive to teach you lessons and then continue on. You don't have to cling to people who no longer make you smile, or do something you've come to hate if it isn't worth your while. But sometimes the thing you're fighting for isn't worth the cost, and not everything you'll ever lose is bound to be a loss. It's by Erin Hansen.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful, thank you for sharing, and I have heard it before, and it's full of wisdom. I really love that poem. It really speaks to me as well. Um, and I think it's such an important topic for so many people, because as you said, this concept of letting go, in theory, it sounds quite simple. Um, but in practice, it's much harder to actually embody and learn to let go and come into that act of surrendering and being in the present moment. I know it's something I find difficult, and I have to come back to this practice over and over again. And I know the breath is really helpful for that. So yeah, thank you for sharing that poem. And I will put the poem and the books you mentioned in the show notes so people can access those easily. And is there anything else you'd like to share today? Is there anything we haven't mentioned or touched upon or anything to summarize what we've been speaking to?
SPEAKER_03So yeah, I really enjoyed our conversation, first of all. I want to say that I haven't even realized how fast uh time passed. Um yeah, so thank you for that, first of all. And um, I just when you you know shared about um maybe not having the tools or not that it's sometimes not that easy to let go. Um I completely agree. And because of that, I just had this realization that actually those retreats like new life, like the HSP retreat, you know, I had my first retreat a few weeks ago. They're so important to create the space where we can actually really tap into this space of letting go and really surrendering and feeling safe and really easing into that, because doing that at home where we maybe have to take care of our kids and and you know our partners, you know, uh having a schedule and all of that, it's difficult to really surrender and and and and do the deep work. Um so having those those kind of retreats and this realizing is uh so important because um it provides the safe space to do so.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, yeah. I agree. And I know personally I've had some of my most profound awakening experiences or transformative experiences on retreat, uh retreats that I've been on that I've attended. Um, and a lot of that has come from again the community, and also just immersing in that practice, as you're saying, when there's no distractions, when yeah, there's not your day-to-day work or family that you have to attend to, then yeah, you can really engage in the in the practices.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and it's beautiful to see that all those modalities are also coming together, you know, like yoga, breathwork, coaching, um, men's group, women's circles, and and all of that. So, you know, like you said, it's really it allows us to embody it as well.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I think in the past it was more like separate modalities, which uh is only part of the game.
SPEAKER_04Exactly.
SPEAKER_03It's really good to see actually that this is happening.
SPEAKER_01So thank you so much for this conversation. I've really enjoyed it too. And is there anywhere listeners can go to find out more about you and your work and your retreat and the things that you're offering?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, people can connect on LinkedIn, um Alan Piatech, uh, and and on um Instagram, it's Alan Friday without an I, because Piatech Encollishment's Friday.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, fantastic. So again, I'll put the uh links to those social media platforms on the show notes so people can check you out on Instagram and LinkedIn as well. So thank you again. Thanks for joining me today on Highly Sensitive Humans. Make sure to visit my website, highly sensitivehumans.com, where I also offer one-to-one coaching for highly sensitive people and a members area with monthly community meetings. You can also visit the Highly Sensitive Human Academy to find out more about upcoming online training, including a three-month professional training on how to coach highly sensitive people, and a three-month professional training on working with highly sensitive children. And if you found value in the show today, I'd really appreciate the rating. And you can also support the child by making a donation. Your donations will enable the production of the podcast and enable the child to keep running.