[00:00] Welcome back to the Focus B show. This is Katie Sudddhart here aka the focus b. And on this show, I interview high performers and leaders around the world to discover their secrets on peak performance, productivity, mindfulness, and leadership. So if you want to take your performance and your leadership to the next level, then you're in the right place. Listen up and connect with the magic.

[00:41] I'm really excited to announce that in the upcoming weeks, I am launching my new program to help you to optimize your time and your energy to reach the results and impact you want in your business and in your life. If you want to find out more about my new program, check out thefocusbeat.com program. I hope you've been enjoying this series so far. Energy is such a fascinating topic and it's so fundamental. Literally, if you were to only take one or two nuggets of information from pretty much my entire podcast or the whole series on tea and pie, it would be invest time, money, everything on increasing your energy. Because this will support you to have more time. Your energy impacts your time to get more profit. Because if you're energized, you'll attract more clients. You'll maintain more clients to feel good and fulfilled everything. It's almost as if forget the rest. Just focus on your energy. Okay? Today's episode focuses on relationships. We've gone through physical, emotional, mental energy. In the last episode, we spoke about how the environment affects our energy. And today let's look a bit closer at how relationships affect our daily life. What about starting off with an exercise? Maybe you're driving, or you're on a bike or you're cooking. You can't do it. Then maybe pause or revisit this exercise afterwards. Two columns, left and right. In the left column write, what are the top five people that give me the most energy? People? It can be at your work, it can be friends, it can be family. It doesn't matter. But the people that you feel give you the most energy where once you've seen them or you had a talk with them, you feel like a different person. And then on the other column, right column, what are the five people who drain the most your energy? Don't feel guilty about it. You're not saying they're bad people. You're not judging them. You're not saying anything bad about them. It's just people that when you see them and you spend time with them, you feel a bit drained afterwards. Okay, so once you have this clear list of both aspects, look at what the people have in common, the people who energize you. What is it about them? Is it because they're energized people? Is it because you feel you're fully listened to? Is it their level of compassion? Is it because you have topics in common? Start to notice. And same with the people who drain you. What you want to do, obviously, is to spend more time with people who energize you and less time with people who drain you. That sort of goes without saying, and it's to actually carve out the time for that call for those people who energize you. I remember when I once did a topic on this session sorry, on this type of topic with my coach, I realized that there were a couple of friends that really I love talking to, that they're really close friends of mine and I hadn't spoken to in six months or year, and I scheduled a call with them. Little things in life a, you're maintaining friendships, b, it gives you a great boost of energy. You probably give them a great boost of energy. It's a win win for everyone. So that's one thing people maybe that are in that top five and you haven't spoke to in several months, well, if these people really energize you and feel great, and they're probably close friends or people in your life, what are you waiting for? And prioritizing that more. When it comes to people who drain you, there might be several, if not all the people on that list that you can't avoid. It might be someone you're directly working with, or it might be someone in your family, or it might be the partner of a really close friend of yours. So every time you see the close friend, you see the partner. I mean, sometimes in life there are some people that you can't necessarily avoid. If you can obviously then spend less time with them. But if you can't, instead of feeling that resistance or upsetness or anger every time you see them, try to have a bit of distance, an emotional distance, not get caught up in whatever it is that drains you. If you get drained because they're angry, then keep some distance from the anger. If you get drained because they complain a lot, then keep some distance from that complaining. Just keep your distance and sort of protect yourself emotionally. Basically. Don't get caught up in the energy, don't let it take you down. It's sort of an inner protection. And if you find yourself caught up in a conversation or something that you find draining, put all of your attention on your breath and just focus on your breathing. I guarantee this works because what happens is on those moments where a person is draining your energy and you feel the you sort of feel all the energy coming out of your body. If on that moment you just start to focus on your breathing and take deep breath into the stomach and out and you stop getting caught up emotionally with everything that they're saying, you'll be able to keep a distance. Where it all goes down the drain is when you get their energy. When afterwards you feel as stressed as that person was or you feel as upset as that person was from being a coach. I know I need to practice this a lot, because if my client is going through a tough time, I still need to be there for them without taking on all their energy, because then I might be coaching another client and I need to be super energized. So there are ways where you can keep a bit of distance. Looking back once more at these relationships. This is what you do with people that you find slightly draining and then people that you find energizing and then Start to think of your Relationship with People. Do you get energized from theme people or drained? Another term for this is extrovert introvert. If you get energized through relationships and people, you're more likely extrovert. If you get drained from people, you're more likely to be introvert. And yes, they are shy, extroverts and social introverts. And that makes people confused. But what really matters is how much interaction do you need per day? I know that I'm highly extroverted. And for a while, especially in the last few years, I didn't get my quota. If you want, of socializing and seeing people. And then there are ways to compensate for this. Whether it's listening to music or having a nice phone call with someone or planning in a few lunches or listening to a podcast, there are ways that give you a similar sense of connection that real relationships do. It's not the same, but it can help. An example is for me right now, just talking into this microphone. There's no one around me. Makes me feel connected because I'm imagining you listening to it later on, on the other side of the world, maybe. And that gives me a sense of connection. So that gives me that energy that I get as an extrovert, as an introvert. Maybe you have too many meetings during the day and you're getting drained. Then try and carve out some breaks. Transition moments sometime during the day when you're alone and obviously evenings to recuperate. So it's important to notice are you at the right balance of interaction that you need? When I worked on this again with my coach, it made a huge difference in my life. I started to plan lunches with people. And as I mostly work on my own during the day in front of the computer, even though I had zoom calls, it wasn't the same as real people, and those lunches just gave me a huge dose of energy. So if you're like me and you're extroverted, stop planning in a few things here and there that give you that boost. And if you're introverted, spend more time alone. Makes sense, right? Not saying anything you don't know. To summarize, look at the people who are energizing. You try and spend more time with them or people who are similar to them and start to carve out that time for these people. People who are draining keep an emotional distance. If you can spend less time with them and if you can't just keep a distance. Don't get emotionally involved with any of their drama or thoughts that normally bring you down and then take into account you being extroverted or introverted. It's okay. Neither is better, neither is worse. They're all good. It's just a matter of honor that. Honor that. If you need more people in your life, create it. And if you need less people, make space for yourself. Have boundaries. Honor where you are on that spectrum and find that sweet spot that works well for you. Relationships, it has been shown, are the biggest factor for our happiness. This is what I've read. This is what I've heard pretty much more than anything else. So if you've noticed that you're prioritizing your work or other things and you're neglecting your relationships, notice how this is making you feel. Notice if either I'm saying this, you feel guilty or guilt or sad or upset and shift. Create that time for these people. Create that energy for these relationships. Start to prioritize them. Shift your workload so that you can spend more time with the people who matter for you, or build new relationships if you feel the need for new friends or new connections. This is so, so important. We are social beings. We've gone through the last few years of lack of connections. So recreating these connections with the people that matter in your life. I can't even stress how important this is. I hope you found this episode useful. I hope it has shifted a bit your view on relationships and what you can put in place to connect with others and to feel more fulfilled in how you interact with people every day and having that optimal balance. This has a huge impact on your energy, which is why I'm touching on it today. Thank you once more for tuning in. If you've enjoyed the episode, don't hesitate to leave. A review makes a huge difference, means the world to me. And as I've said many times before, it will help other people who need to hear just this to find the episode. Thank you ever so much and wishing you a wonderful, wonderful day.

[12:22] Thank you so much for tuning in today to the Focus Bees show. I would absolutely love to hear your feedback, so let me know in an Apple review or YouTube comment what was most valuable for you, and feel free to share this episode with a friend.

[12:40] Or a family member.

[12:41] Wishing you a wonderful, magical and focused day ahead.