[00:00] Welcome back to the Focus B show. This is Katie Suddar here, aka the Focus B and on this show I interview high performers and leaders around the world to discover their secrets on peak performance, productivity, mindfulness and leadership. So if you want to take your performance and your leadership to the next level, then you're in the right place. Listen up and connect with the magic.

[00:36] You do. You struggle with decision making. I know that this is something I struggle with a lot in the past and this is why I wanted to cover it in today's episode. The reason we struggle so much to make decisions is because by essence the word to decide means to eliminate and cut off all the other options. Now, we don't like to do this, we like to keep our options open. And it can be really hard to think that once you make that decision, there's no going back and you can't change it and it feels irreversible. Another reason why this can be a struggle is because we can't anticipate the outcome and we generally judge our decisions on the results that we obtain. So if the result is satisfactory, we'll think that was a good decision and if it's not, we'll think that was a terrible decision. One of the ways we can shift this for ourself and make it slightly easier to make decisions in the future is to know that a good decision is not dependent on the outcome. A good decision is linked to the motivations and reasons behind making that choice. So for instance, if the end result or outcome is that you do really well in your work, but if the decision came from something not honest, unethical lying, then it probably still wasn't a very honest and aligned decision. It was still something that wasn't the right and correct way to proceed even though the outcome came out well. On the other hand, maybe at work someone will reproach you or something won't go as planned, but you made the decision being fully honest, being totally transparent, totally ethical in what you were saying and doing and that is the right decision because that's aligned with your values. So looking at what are the reasons behind the decision compared to the outcome and judging our decisions, a bit more on the reasons and a little less on what results happen. Because either way, this isn't something we can anticipate or control. One powerful method that I use a lot with my clients to help them to make a tough decision, to choose between difficult situations and outcomes, is to use visualization, and I do this in a very specific way. Let's say right now you're hesitating between two options. Could be two possible jobs could be quitting your job and starting your own business or continuing in your current job could be two places to live. Let's say you have this inner dilemma. In this case, I'd invite you to close your eyes and to project yourself into the future. If you took one line of direction, if you took one specific decision, let's say to move to Spain or Sweden, so let's say you choose to move to Spain and you imagine what it would be like a year from now, how would you feel? What would your life look like? And while you're doing this mental visualization, really tapping into how it feels inside of you, do you feel excited about it? Do you feel a bit concerned? What sort of emotions are happening? And then I'd invite you to park that, put that on the side, keep it, come back to the present, and then do a similar visualization. But with the other option, let's say in this case, moving to Sweden, for instance, and doing the same, projecting yourself in your mind a year from now, how does your day look like? How do you feel? How excited are you about every day? And noticing what comes up and then coming back to the present? And often just this very simple visualization exercise can help to identify which feels right. This is what I'm interested in and this is what's interesting for you. Which visualization did you feel good inside? Excited? Align? Which one did you tense up? Because often our bodies have all the answers, we're just blurring it by overthinking. But if you tap into your body and to your inner wisdom generally, you'll see that it's pretty clear that one of these options, you just felt happy and aligned and in peace about it. So this method is really insightful. When you're struggling between two specific outcomes and decisions, a useful tool also could be to, instead of having just two options, trying to broaden it to three. I know this sounds paradoxical, or maybe not intuitive, but it can really help to have three clear options and not just two. And often you'll find that the third option is the right one. So this might not be the case for if you're hesitating between two countries, although, who knows, it could be the third one could be Portugal. But if you have three, often it's easier for your mind to contrast two. We tend to feel a bit stuck. This is something I learned doing a Tony Robbins course, and he explains that we need to widen it up to three options. And I've used this quite a lot when hesitating between different decisions. Okay, so first tip was around visualizing the different outcomes. The second tip is to use inner peace as your compass. We get confused and muddled around what is a good decision. Like I said, because we think of the outcome, or maybe we think what other people will say, a judge. And instead we just need to look inside. And which decision will bring you the most inner peace and which one feels the most peaceful? And this isn't always easier, especially at the beginning, but the more you practice, the more you'll be able to see which decision feels peaceful and feels right and feels aligned. It's really learning to listen to that intuition. You'll also find that sometimes the most peaceful decision requires a lot of courage. For instance, a peaceful outcome or decision might not be ignoring the situation and running away because that makes you feel slightly better on the moment. But obviously that does not bring inner peace. So it might be to confront a certain person, to have a challenging conversation, to take that bold action, because you know that if you don't do it, something inside of you just feels off, just feels misaligned, unhappy, tense. This is why the boldest actions like these tough conversations, leaving your job, whatever it is, are often linked to this knowledge that if you don't do it, something inside of you is off. That's another way of saying look where you feel the most at peace inside. And you might need to take some time off, some reflecting, some journaling, to really appreciate that and see what actually comes out. And once more, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. And you want to learn to oscillate around inner peace, to constantly make decisions in your life that make you feel more and more at peace. And once more, this takes courage, this takes practice, it's not easy all the time. A lot of the decisions that are actually most aligned are the most challenging ones, are the scary options. And this is why it can be difficult. It can also be that it goes against what other people believe, or what you've done in the past, or an identity that you built for yourself and you realize that's no longer aligned and it doesn't feel right, and then shift. Using inner peace as your compass is probably the most valuable tool that you have for making tough decisions. Too often we go all rational, weighing out pros and cons. I used to do this a lot, write decisions both side of the paper, pro, con, pro and con used to get so confused. F instead, just look inside and you already know the answer. 99.99% of the time, actually 100% of the time you know the answer. Sometimes the answer is scary, sometimes the answer is bold, sometimes the answer is uncomfortable. But you know deep down, which is the right answer. This is also why we struggle to make decisions, because it's not really struggling to make decision, it's struggling to accept the answer. Once you know deep down what is the answer, it's easy to pretend you're in analysis, paralysis and hesitating, and it's so difficult to make that decision. But deep down, you know what's really difficult is confronting that answer, not making the decision. So that'll be it for today. I feel that inner peace really solves everything in terms of making decisions. And if you don't know how to access this, if you don't know how to find your inner peace practice. Spend time in nature journal, spend time alone, meditate, reflect little by little. That voice will be more and more clear and you'll be able to see also physically, physiologically in your body, which decision makes you feel tense or angry or upset, and which decision makes you feel lighter. This is a huge indicator, and don't overthink it when you do that. This is a sort of type of somatic experience. Somatic coaching also can help you with these decisions, which essentially is only learning to listen to your body and listen to yourself, right? So if you're struggling to make tough decisions, you know what to do from a pragmatic perspective, try and broaden it to three options use the visualization exercise and really project yourself to see how it feels inside of you, and use inner peace as your compass to help you to make these tough decisions. Thank you for tuning in today and wishing you a lovely day.

[11:52] Thank you so much for tuning in today to the Focus Bees show. I would absolutely love to hear your feedback, so let me know in an Apple review or YouTube comment what was most valuable for you, and feel free to share this episode with a friend or a family member. Wishing you a wonderful, magical and focused day ahead.

[12:21] You close.