[00:00] Welcome back to the Focus B show. This is Katie Suddar here aka the focus b. And on this show I interview high performers and leaders around the world to discover their secrets on peak performance, productivity, mindfulness and leadership. So if you want to take your performance and your leadership to the next level, then you're in the right place. Listen up and connect with the magic.

[00:36] All growth is a leap in the dark. This is a quote by Henry Miller and it first caught my attention in the book Courage is Calling by Ryan Holiday. I really loved this quote because it reminded me of when I quit my job at C as an engineer to start my own business as a coach. Back then it really felt like a leap in the dark. I had no idea what the future would hold. I had no idea how I would manage, how I would grow my business. And I did it because it was what felt right, it's what felt aligned. And this is what I felt was my calling. But yet it still remained extremely challenging. Many of you must have experienced this when going through a transition, a change, to have this feeling of total uncertainty. And this is partly why it's so hard for us to manage and maneuver, is because our brain is wired so as to avoid these type of situations and to keep us safe. Therefore, when we're dealing with something that we feel is extremely uncertain or unknown, it can be extremely challenging. This also happens in our brain on a neurological level because we're literally rewiring our brain. Even if we change habits or if we change geographical situations, this can be a small mental challenge for our brain. So as we're growing, we are creating new neurological pathways. And although this is fantastic and this is how we grow and learn, it's also uncomfortable. As one of my mentors once said, she referred to this as growth pains, almost a physical pain through growing as the same as when we're growing up and we have pains in our legs and our body because we're getting taller. It's the same thing, but in our minds, in our brains, through taking on new challenges. One of the fundamental aspects here is to use discomfort as a tool and not to use it as something to be avoided. We somehow train ourselves to have as much comfort as possible in our life. This could both be in our home or in the way we live. It's something that makes sense biologically, but we've taken it a step too far. We're too comfortable as a whole, as a society, in our warm homes, with everything that's done and organized. It might not feel always super comfortable, but compared to the biological surroundings we had all those years ago, this is definitely supreme comfort and it can make us lazy and it can stop our growth. And so instead, what we want to do is not spend our life trying to get things as comfortable as possible, but instead to look at what are some areas in which we can actively pursue discomfort so that we grow noticing, oof, this makes me feel a bit edgy. Oh, this is a bit nerve wracking, this is a bit scary, this makes me a bit anxious. Go for it. Whether it's speaking in public, whether it's going live on YouTube, whether it's talking to a stranger on the street, it can be anything. Whether it's starting a new activity, trying kickboxing for the first time, or speaking in this foreign language that you're just learning. So you're mildly uncomfortable with speaking in front of people. Any opportunity for discomfort is an opportunity for growth. Yet in those moments, we think, oh no, that's too scary. Oh no, I don't want to put myself out there. What will people say? How will they judge me? And if we manage to overcome this fear, if we manage to overcome these thoughts and change and how we're feeling about it, then we can start to live a life that's more aligned, that's more fulfilling, that's more exciting, because we're taking on these challenges and we're constantly growing. Something really interesting happens when we have this in place. We're able to notice a shift in our identity because as we grow new neurological patterns in our brain, we change literally, physically, physiologically. And so some things that used to feel scary don't because we practice them. And some mindset issues that we used to have are shifted. As one of my clients like to use all the time as one of his favorite and most empowering quote, feel the fear and do it anyway. Using that fear as a compass helps you to rewire everything inside of you, helps you to shift your identity, to become who you want to become, to explore your full potential, to tap into some of your inner resources so that you can level up your life. And it's not about material success. It's not about power, fame, or recognition or money. It's about how you feel compared to if you're trapped in your comfort zone, because maybe nothing will happen on an external world. Maybe you won't suddenly get promoted because you dared to do a presentation in front of the whole company, but you'll feel differently. You know that feeling of excitement that you get maybe when you suddenly go on a hike and you're not sure of the route and maybe get lost a bit and it all feels a bit like an adventure and you come home and you're safe and you're warm, and it was an exhausting day and it rained. That feeling of sort of accomplishment and satisfaction and inner challenge makes us feel so much better than just sitting and watching Netflix or being on our phone or just indulging in reading a novel that's easy to read. Just all of these indulgences, they're fine in small doses. But we've somehow gotten used to overdoing that side of things and not challenging ourselves enough. And this is why so many of us, so many of you listening or watching this might feel this slight frustration, this slight sort of annoyance at not really exploring that potential. Because we know it whether it's intellectually, maybe you could write or learn a new language. Maybe it's physically taking on a new hobby or going for those hikes or doing a marathon. Whether it's so many different areas.

[07:56] And.

[07:57] Without that discomfort, without challenging this and growing and taking that leap in the dark, we remain quiet and subdued and bit empty sometimes. And if you contrast it to the times where you've taken more risk, where you've dared to be aligned and have integrity with your primary goals and ideas and values, you'll notice that you feel more alive. You feel more energized, you feel more connected. This comes just from practicing that skill. It's not something that comes if you just stay in that comfort zone. I think it's so important and knowing that for everyone, growth is a leap in the dock. For everyone, it's taking on risks. And there are some personalities that are slightly more risk averse than others. Some people slightly more daring. So if you are the type of person that's slightly more risk averse, that's okay. It might just mean for you. Taking on a risk looks different to someone who's extremely bold and what that looks like for them. But the growth and the challenge still works the same way. So, for instance, if someone is highly extroverted and it's easy for them to talk to people they don't know, if that person approaches a group of people they don't know, it's probably less of a challenge and less of a growth than someone who's maybe more introverted and less comfortable in these situations. And that person daring to talk to one person they don't know, that's probably more of a stretch. What I'm trying to say is it's not comparing with others what other people are doing and how bold their actions are. It's comparing how much is the stretch inside of you. Something that's really hard for you could be easy for someone else and vice versa. Something that's super easy for you might be really hard for someone else doesn't matter. It's not about the actions. It's about the growth. It's about that challenge. That's all that matters. Because as you grow, as you tap into your potential, you'll feel better. You'll feel more alive, you'll feel more fulfilled. You'll enjoy life so much more. You'll inspire other people to grow and leap out of their comfort zone, and you're making the most of life, which is what it's all about. You're not just staying passive. You're actually embracing this wonderful opportunity to be alive. And this is why I'm passionate about this message. And this is why I'm passionate about growth and self improvement, because I feel this enables you to fully appreciate the magic of life. Thank you for tuning in today. Wishing you a wonderful, magical day ahead.

[10:52] Thank you so much for tuning in today to the Focus Bees show. I would absolutely love to hear your feedback, so let me know in an Apple review or YouTube comment what was most valuable for you, and feel free to share this episode with a friend or a family member. Wishing you a wonderful, magical and focused day ahead.

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