(223) How To Get Unstuck In Your Career with Else Schlassberg

(223) How To Get Unstuck In Your Career with Else Schlassberg

Else Schlassberg is a transformational coach who enables people to get unstuck in their careers, so they can be more fulfilled in their lives. Loved our conversation together! 

Some of the gold we covered:

• How to notice when you are stuck
• First steps to creating that change
• How to overcome fear in the journey

And so much more! 

ABOUT Else Schlassberg

Else Schlasberg is the founder of Rise Communication, bringing a wealth of expertise in the business realm. With a diverse background encompassing marketing, communication, and investor relations, Else's comprehensive experience positions her as a seasoned professional. Holding a master's degree in economics from Copenhagen Business School, she possesses a solid academic foundation. Moreover, Else's commitment to personal growth and development is evident through her years of dedicated training as an ICF-certified coach. With a holistic approach to coaching, Else combines her business acumen and extensive knowledge to empower individuals and organizations on their path to success.

CONNECT Else: 

Program: https://risecommunication.se/get-unstuck

Website: www.risecommunication.se

LinkedIn: Else (Trägårdh) Schlasberg | LinkedIn

 VIDEO of this episode:

YouTube Video: https://youtu.be/0cJuyc7hIU4

ABOUT Katie Stoddart:

Katie Stoddart is an award-winning, international, leadership & performance coach. Katie started her career as a hydrographic engineer working at sea and she now supports business owners to thrive in their life & business.

As a keynote speaker, Katie frequently speaks at summits, conferences & podcasts. For her weekly podcast ‘The Focus Bee Show’, Katie interviews thought leaders, speakers and authors. 

Katie works primarily with entrepreneurs & executives through 1-1 coaching & corporate workshops on Focus, Leadership & Performance.  

 CONNECT with Katie Stoddart, aka 'the focus bee': 

PODCAST: https://thefocusbeeshow.buzzsprout.com/

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katiestoddart

BLOG: https://thefocusbee.com/blog/

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/TheFocusBee

INSTAGRAM:  https://www.instagram.com/thefocus

Transcript

[00:00] Katie: Welcome back to the focus b show. This is Katie Sudddhart here, aka the focus b, and on this show, I interview high performers and leaders around the world to discover their secrets on peak performance, productivity, mindfulness, and leadership. So if you want to take your performance and your leadership to the next level, then you're in the right place. Listen up and connect with the magic.

[00:37] Katie: So excited to have Elsa Schlossbeck on the show today. Elsa is a wonderful friend of mine. She's also a transformational coach who runs her own programs to help people to get unstuck and to get more out of their life. Welcome, Elsa. Fantastic to have you on the show today.

[00:53] Else: Thank you. I'm so glad to be here.

[00:55] Katie: Amazing. I guess the best place to begin is, what do you mean by getting unstuck? What's your definition of getting unstuck?

[01:05] Else: Good question. I think, for me, being stuck has been quite a big part of my working experience. So stuck for me can be in various ways. It can be stuck in a small way or stuck in a big way, and it can go up and down during the years. And for me, I think I got stuck. When I first got my first employment, I felt like having to ask for permission to get a vacation. I felt stuck. I didn't have any alternative in my mind. I never thought I would run my own company or anything. But that feeling of being a bit stuck, it followed me for many years, but it wasn't a terrible thing. It was just like one of those feelings that you have that you can't really shake. And then I came to a point where I don't want this anymore. I want more in life. I want to be unstuck. I want to be free. I want to use the whole me. I want to be more than the job description is. So, is that an answer to the question how to get unstuck, or what is stuck and unstuck? I think stuck is when you don't feel like you can use your whole self when you work or in your life. And unstuck is when you suddenly feel free to be who you are and make money out of it and bring your whole spirit to the table.

[02:35] Katie: Yes. I see things in a very similar light, and I think in some ways, we've had a similar journey of working in a past career. We felt a bit stuck, a bit trapped, and then wanting to shift to something else, something that fueled us, that helped us to tap into our full potential and that we enjoyed and had more joy and freedom.

[02:57] Else: Yeah.

[02:57] Katie: So, what were the first steps for you to get unstuck, to create that transformation in your career and in your change?

[03:04] Else: I think perhaps recognizing or identifying in myself that I was stuck because for a long time, you don't really even know it. It's just a feeling you have, you're not really satisfied. And for me, it took quite a while because I had a good work experience. I had 15 good years with good fellow workers and good companies and good culture. So for me, it was even a bit harder to acknowledge for myself that this is not good enough. It's really good, but it's not good enough. So one of the first step is to really admit to yourself, elsa, is this good enough? If we fast forward to when you're 80 and what you're doing now is what you did for your life, are you satisfied with that on your time here on Earth? And I just noticed that, no, I'm not. I want to explore more. So step number one is to identify and acknowledge, this is not enough for me. I'm made for more.

[04:19] Katie: It's so powerful what you're sharing, because I think a lot of people are in maybe similar situations where their work fills up 80% of their expectations. Good coworkers, maybe good salary, maybe they quite enjoy it. But there's still 20 or 30% of them that's not fueled, not satisfied, that wants something more, wants greater freedom or greater impact or greater joy. And most people just ignore it.

[04:45] Else: Exactly.

[04:47] Katie: Because 80% is good enough.

[04:49] Else: Yes, and 80% is really good. I mean, there are people who have it worth, of course, but when I look back now, I can say that I enjoyed myself maybe 80%, but now I can also see that maybe I was 30% of the whole of me, but you don't really know that. When you're in your hamster wheel and you're doing a good job and you have your colleagues and you have your nice salary and you move up the career ladder, that's just a given. This is a path you go. And when you acknowledge for yourself, I'm not really sure where that path came from. I'm not really sure who decided that I should do that path. I had no pressures from parents or anything like that. It was just programmed in me that this is how you live. You take your degree in university, you go on a career, and you just take one step after the other. But it's not that often that you sit down and you reflect, okay, so who decided, where did this wish come from? And I couldn't really find it.

[06:08] Katie: Yes, I think this is what happens to most of us. We follow the steps that we think we're meant to follow, and at some point we wake up and we think, did I even really choose these steps?

[06:20] Else: Exactly. Who told you? And I'm not saying that I regret them because I enjoyed them, and it got me where I am today. So it's no shadow from the time that has been. But it's good to sometimes reflect a bit about, okay, so who am I? What do I want to do? What do I want to share in this world when I die, what do I want to leave after me? Those kind of big questions in a deep but for me, in a deep but not so complicated way, to try to reflect on them without being too hard on yourself, like go a bit easy about it.

[07:13] Katie: Yes. So the first step, you were saying, is first having that awareness that you want something else.

[07:19] Else: Yes.

[07:19] Katie: The second step, you're saying, is asking these deep questions, reflecting, asking yourself, is this really what I want? What would I like to leave as a legacy? What is important for me while I'm here on Earth? And what would be the third and fourth steps to creating this maybe inner shift and transformation?

[07:37] Else: Well, I think maybe step two is a bit difficult if you don't have the right tools. So if I would sit down now and think about what do I want to leave after? It's such a big question. So for me, just chopping them up a bit and having the right tools to think about it helps a lot. Like, for example, what should I give as an example? If you had all the money in the world, if you had 50 million in the bank, what would you do? You cannot invest it. You cannot open a school in Africa. You have to work. What would you do? That's one way of getting into what do you want to do?

[08:26] Katie: Or.

[08:28] Else: The exercise, which is quite common, that you think about who you are when you're like 70 or 80 or 90, and you ask yourself, what's your advice for yourself today? That's also tapping into your own kind of wisdom and what do you want to do? So having those tools, I think, is really important. Or it makes it easier than to just sit down and reflect, what do I want to leave to the world? I don't know. How should you know? But when you take those a bit more easier exercises, you can kind of map in something that you feel, okay, this is right.

[09:12] Katie: Yes. I think what you said also with the money, if you suddenly won the lottery and had 50 million, what would you like to work with? I think what I often ask myself is if suddenly I had a huge influx of money, would I continue what I'm doing? And what's really interesting is it highlights the areas of your business that you love. I'd continue the podcast, for example. Yeah, it highlights those areas, and it highlights areas that maybe you'd like, but if it wasn't financially viable and if you didn't need the money, would you really continue those areas? So I think it's a really good alignment tool to check. Are you spending your time and your energy on what really fuels you?

[09:52] Else: Yeah, exactly. You're so wise.

[09:59] Katie: I don't know if I'm wise, but I know that I want to live aligned life. And I think when you get used to asking yourself these questions. I think it's what you shared at the beginning when you've had a moment in your life when things weren't aligned at all or weren't at all as aligned as you wanted them to be, and you wake up and realize this, then it sort of puts in a pattern in your mind to check in with yourself regularly. Am I doing this again? Am I again out of sync and out of alignment? And mostly there's always things here and there that are a bit but if you check regularly and you readjust, you don't get totally out of alignment.

[10:37] Else: Yeah. You can also be aware of the thoughts that are coming to you often like when you drive to your job or commute, like, do I like this? Do I have a good feeling about this? Or are you saying the same thing to your partner on Friday night? Every Friday night, yeah, a good week, but that was a hard one. If you hear yourself saying the same things over and over again, it's a sign. You could be just a bit curious about those kind of signs and your partner might say almost the same thing back to you every Friday and then if you repeat that a couple of years, well, then you're stuck.

[11:16] Katie: Then you're stuck.

[11:17] Else: And then maybe you could try to get unstuck and I think having accountability partner or someone to speak to or reflect with and I'm not saying it's wrong to have your partner, that's not what I'm saying but it's really good sometimes to have someone that doesn't really know you yes. Like a coach. Yes. Or someone else wise in your surroundings, just to hear your own words without anyone really truly knowing you. Yes. It's powerful.

[11:50] Katie: It's very powerful.

[11:51] Else: Yeah.

[11:51] Katie: It could be a coach, it can be a therapist, it can be an accountability partner or a mentor.

[11:58] Else: A bit distant.

[11:59] Katie: Yes, I think that the mentor part. I agree a lot of the time but I think if it's someone that's being stuck and who wants to shift, then sometimes it's best not to get any advice.

[12:08] Else: True.

[12:09] Katie: And that's the problem when you're talking about these things with your partner or with friends is then there's a tendency for them to tell you what to do and that can be not always the best solution, right?

[12:23] Else: No. And they say it's most often in your own best interest because they love you but if you don't know, they don't know. It's better to try to figure it out on your own with help but still your own answers. Yes.

[12:42] Katie: With your own answers. Yes, for sure. So let's address the elephant in the room, which is that when people are stuck, they might know that there's more, they might want to do more, they might gain that clarity but there's that block and there's that fear.

[12:56] Else: Yes.

[12:56] Katie: And I feel that we can't address this topic of getting unstuck without addressing that fear.

[13:01] Else: Good.

[13:01] Katie: So how can people who maybe realize this, maybe listening to this now or watching it, and they realize I'm exactly in this situation, I've realized I want to do more. Maybe they know what they want to do already. Maybe they want to be a musician or write books or be a speaker or be a coach. They know this, they're clear about it, but they just can't take the step. It's too scary. How do they move forward?

[13:28] Else: Well, I think about two things straight up. One thing is a book called feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. We're all afraid. So yes, we accept that we are afraid and we do it anyway because we're never done. We're never like, okay, now is the moment. Now I feel complete. Now I know what to do and I have courage and I believe in myself. No, we just do. We jump and we hope and we do. Yes. So that's one thing. Don't wait to be not afraid, because you are afraid when you do new things and that are challenging and that are worth something.

[14:14] Katie: Yes.

[14:15] Else: So that's one thing. So that's basically start before you're ready. Because you're never ready. You're never done. So just start and then you become ready. Then you become courageous, then you become confident. But you're not courageous and confident and ready before you start. And a second thing is maybe try to question your own, what do you call it, beliefs or truths that you have or that you don't even know that you have. You can have belief systems around who you are or how the world works, that you don't know where they came from and you don't know that you have them. But they say something about you and the world. And maybe you should try to capture and acknowledge when you have those kind of belief systems and question them and change them. So capture them, question them and change them. For example, if you have the belief that you have to work really hard to earn money, that's such a common example. And you can find points of evidence that make that true. Of course. And I want to make sure that I'm humble when I say this because I understand and I respect everyone that works hard. I'm just saying it's not the whole truth.

[15:47] Katie: Exactly.

[15:48] Else: You can change that truth. It doesn't have to be really hard to make money. You can do something. You can deliver value. You can be in your flow. You can help someone else and earn money from it. And it doesn't feel like you're working really hard. Work hard, earn hard. It feels like you're giving stuff away and you're getting stuff for it. Yes. And sometimes you don't even really know that you think like that. You don't really know that you think like, work hard, earn hard. That's just the way it is. It doesn't have to be. It could be. So we're not saying it's completely false. It could be. But we can just try to question them. Try to find an alternative truth. And when you have an alternative to it, that's when you should look for with a flashlight. You should look for points of evidence to support your new truth or your new belief. And when you do that, you will find a lot of it.

[16:48] Katie: I think what you were saying about first seeing those beliefs is huge. Like people who think work hard and hard, they don't even realize it's a belief, they just think it's a truth.

[16:58] Else: Exactly.

[16:59] Katie: So first start to realize that any belief is just a thought you repeated many times. And many truths are actually just beliefs. They're not actually true. And what you were saying about this, sometimes yes, work hard to UNHARD. But also, I think the distinction here is that what you're saying, if I understand correctly, is that we don't necessarily mean don't put in the hours, but we're saying that when you put in the hours for something you really enjoy and you're really in the flow and it's in your zone of genius, it doesn't feel like working hard.

[17:31] Else: Exactly.

[17:32] Katie: Still doing your 8 hours or whatever.

[17:34] Else: A day or less or less. Sometimes you don't need I vote for less because that's another thing.

[17:42] Katie: So two things. Maybe you don't need to put in as many hours as you're putting in because that's working more effectively and choosing what really makes a difference. And then, even if you are, it doesn't have to feel so much of a grind because you can actually enjoy the work that you're doing.

[17:56] Else: Yes.

[17:57] Katie: And when that happens, does this feel like work?

[18:00] Else: No, not really. Until we consider this a part of our work.

[18:08] Katie: Exactly. So it would be labeled under work.

[18:10] Else: This is my calendar as work.

[18:12] Katie: It's the commitment. We show up, we do it exactly. We take it seriously. But it doesn't feel like a grind.

[18:18] Else: Exactly. Yes.

[18:20] Katie: So questioning your belief, I think is huge. I want to come back to that fear. So you said, okay, do it anyway. But let's say someone is really scared of change. Let's say they've been 20 years in the same job. They have a mortgage, they have a family. I know you also have a family and they're really, really feeling totally stuck. What would be the first step once they've reflected a bit out of what they want in life and they've realized this, for them to start getting into action and building that momentum, maybe just.

[18:49] Else: Start with really small steps. If you have a large fear, I would suggest starting with small steps. So if you know around what you want to do not exactly, but you have a direction. Well, what would be first easy steps for you to take? Well, it wouldn't be to quit your job. It wouldn't be to take a loan to support your new kind of living and work? No, it would be maybe to contact someone who does something around what you want to do. Ask for lunch or a coffee or a meeting. It could be reaching out to someone and asking for how did you first start your business and what does it feel like? It could be ordering a book around that area. So just do something and something small that makes you feel like you're taking steps toward your in your in your chosen direction. Not every day, but often. Yes, small steps is really good. Small steps will take you a long way.

[20:02] Katie: They do. And also there's something really powerful in what you just shared as examples. Reaching out to people in the book is that in that moment, you're creating a new mindset because you're surrounding yourself by people and information that think in a different way. So if you start reaching out to business owners, and you've always been an employee, and all of your friends are employees, and you've never had your own business or friends that are business owners, and you start reaching out to business owners, if you want to create your own business, then it makes sense that you start to think in a different way. And so you're building a peer group and information that helps you shift the way you think. And then taking those bigger steps feels easier.

[20:42] Else: Yes, that's so true. And when you take those bigger steps, like quitting your job or something, what people see from the outer world is that I spent 15 years as an employee and then I quit my job and people see that I quit my job. Oh my God, you're so courageous. Yes, but I built up the momentum during quite some time before. So the big leap didn't even feel that big. I remember people saying, you're so courageous. But I had trained so much muscle, so when I took the leap, I just felt like, this is something we do nice. So start with small steps and gather information and see if you like it. That's also very important. Try see if you like it. Because you don't know before. Yes, you don't know before. So try one thing and see if you like it. And it's not like quit your job and try a new job and see if you like it. Could be, but it could also be write a business plan about something you think you want to start a business within. See if it feels good. Do you get like a burning flame in your stomach? Like, oh, yes, this is what I want to do. You're on the right track. Does it feel like work? Like, I don't want to do that? Maybe it's not.

[22:07] Katie: Test driving your ideas and dreams and solutions. Maybe trying it on the side or doing some projects or talking to people in the area and seeing exactly like you said. Does it ignite that fire, does it make you want to do more of it? Continued you feel fueling you, then that's the right step. I guess. Another interesting point for people listening would be like, what's on the other side of this?

[22:29] Else: I think so much. So much. It's like a new world, isn't it?

[22:36] Katie: Yes.

[22:38] Else: Because when you feel alive, you feel like you can be your whole self and you feel like you're here for a reason. On this earth, you have perspective. I'm looking down on the Earth and there I am, happy, helping other people. It's just lovely. It's just lovely.

[22:56] Katie: So it's worth confronting that fear going on the other side.

[23:00] Else: Yes. With 100%.

[23:05] Katie: Yes, I agree. I agree. I sometimes think back to my previous life and think, wow, that's what I used to do. Interesting.

[23:14] Else: Yes. And it's really interesting when what you used to do, you enjoyed it. True. So I enjoyed the creative parts, I enjoyed the team, I enjoyed my colleagues, but it's not in comparison to what it feels like today.

[23:33] Katie: Yes, I agree.

[23:34] Else: So maybe making a vision for yourself, where do you want to be in 510 years without exactly knowing what to do? But who do you want to be in 510 years? So you have a taste of the other side that could also ignite the fire within you. Yes.

[23:54] Katie: Visualizing and thinking about the person you want to become, the life you want to lead. I also want to point out that what we're sharing here about being unstuck could be in any area of our life.

[24:05] Else: True.

[24:06] Katie: We spoke mostly about career, but this could be the same for someone super stuck in a relationship. Could be someone that's really stuck and struggling with health. First become aware, then tune into yourself. See what you really want, how you want to do it. Then start doing those baby steps and maybe surrounding yourself by people who are living that life.

[24:23] Else: True. And I speak from my experience. So my experience with being stuck and unstuck is related to my work. Yes. And I think if you're stuck in other areas, listen to those who's gone through that kind of stuckiness and getting unstuck.

[24:42] Katie: Get the inspiration from people who've struggled either in the health or relationship and listen to them and see what they did to shift things around.

[24:49] Else: That's what I would do. Yeah. I would listen to someone who turned their wounds into wisdom, so to speak. It speaks from our own.

[24:59] Katie: Amazing. Amazing. Thank you so much, Elsa.

[25:01] Else: Thank you.

[25:02] Katie: Thank you for being on the show today. It was so amazing pleasure. And it's so wonderful to hear that we had a similar journey and going from this being stuck to unstuck in our business and career, and that we're both happy on the other side.

[25:16] Else: Welcome, everyone else, come on over.

[25:20] Katie: Amazing. Thank you so much for tuning in.

[25:23] Else: Thank you.

[25:29] Katie: Thank you so much for tuning in today. To the focus. V show. I would absolutely love to hear your feedback. So let me know in an Apple review or YouTube comment what was most valuable for you, and feel free to share this episode with a friend or a family member. Wishing you a wonderful, magical and focused day ahead.