The Top Guys

Top Guys Fight Club (Part 1)

Devon Sanders, Chris James Scott, and Omar K. Mills

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 32:28

Send us Fan Mail

This week on The Top Guys Podcast, we enter Top Guys Fight Club.

The question is simple: if you could fight anyone — real or fictional — who would it be, why are you fighting, what’s at stake, and are you walking away with the win?

Naturally, the answers are completely unhinged.

We get into fictional rivalries, legendary martial artists, cartoon grudges, public service beatdowns, childhood trauma, government chaos, utility bills, and one man’s highly specific mission involving Destro and a certain someone from Cobra.

It starts as a fight card.
It turns into therapy.
Then somehow, we end up talking about oranges.

Welcome to Top Guys Fight Club.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because I've been told that I'm always fidgeting and doing some shit that I shouldn't be doing.

SPEAKER_01

Wow. Wait a minute. Who told you that?

SPEAKER_03

You did. Oh. Yeah, you were like looking at your phone and you were not caring about anything.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I thought that was fantastic. Chris, there's an entire clip from the that the that Riverside gives us like when we finish recordings automatically. And I was looking at the clips, like getting them uploaded to say, hey, we might want to use these. And then one of them, Devon is just sitting there like this. You and I are having a whole ass conversation. He is the entire clip like this, not giving a single damn about anything.

SPEAKER_03

See, that's where we replaced it. We replaced his picture with like a portrait of Bugs Bunny so that it looks engaged. Actually, you know what? That's what I use on my HBO Max profile.

SPEAKER_04

Bugs Bunny.

SPEAKER_03

Nah, Bugs Bunny.

SPEAKER_04

Not nothing against Larry David.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I love Larry David.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I love Larry David.

SPEAKER_03

Hilarious. Everything against Sherry Hines, though. Amen.

SPEAKER_04

We gotta get you an endorsement for whatever that is that you drink. Because you you had it the last time we recorded, and I thought about that. I'm like, they need to be paying him. What was that? The whatever that drink is you have, we need to get you, we need to get you a endorsement water. Yeah, we need to get you, you know, coconut water by the good source of potassium and also hydrates pretty well.

SPEAKER_03

I've been feeling a little lately, so I'm trying to drink water. But the water here in DC is crap. Um trying to figure out a workaround because I just don't like the taste of the water right now.

SPEAKER_04

Got true.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, this is fascinating for like the stuff that we could put putting up. Devon talks about water. DC municipal.

SPEAKER_04

The goal is to become popular enough that people are like, I want to I want to know more about Devon's water.

SPEAKER_03

So just to check in, we're good with the topics, right?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, what we what are we doing? Oh, I thought and by that I mean yes. What we doing?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, we are the top guys. This should be entertaining.

SPEAKER_03

I followed the it's never you're the other problem. It is always good. So this is one of those things where it's like we say to the whole class, everybody, we need everybody to be on time. But we're looking at like we're really only talking about one person. Afro Steve over here. It is like, yeah, I said this like thing three times and said, here's what we're doing. Every time I get it. Thumbs up. Like this emotion. And then the minute I'm like, so we're good with the topics. Yes, we are. What are the topics? What are they doing?

SPEAKER_02

What are we doing? Holy ass.

SPEAKER_03

Alright. Welcome to another episode of the Top Guys Podcast, where uh three dumbasses do dumbass things. And hey, one of the things that we're gonna be doing on this episode, well the only thing we're gonna be talking about on this episode is fighting the Top Guys Fight Club, where if we can fight anyone, real or fiction, who are we fighting, what's at stake, why are we fighting, and do we win, lose, or draw? So, fictional fights that we're the three of us. Let me just introduce myself. I'm Devon. Who's next? Omar, okay. Hey Omar Chris, hey, so yeah, we're gonna uh be doing that. So who wants to start? Who wants to join Fight Club? Well, hang on a minute. Dick Grayson is revving up his motor. Uh forgive me. I will go first. Wait, are we doing are we doing are we gonna go with fight club first? Are we am I presenting that? Yes, yes. Okay. My my entry into the fight club is a real person, a very real person. Elon Musk. I okay, okay, all right. This time last year, I had a very nice job with our government, and it paid very nicely, and I was doing the job that I went to school to do. It was nice, my co-workers were lovely, I was dependent on, I was a subject matter expert.

SPEAKER_00

It was like, hey Chris, we need these things graphically designed, and I'd be like, I got you, and it was nice, and then that dumbass man got into office, and I don't mean to get political, but come on now.

SPEAKER_03

Come on, come on, even by the by the hardest of grading curves, he's a dummy, he's j no, this is not an effective set of people. You had the choice of getting like Megatron and Cobra Commander and all these people. You picked like season five G.I. Joe villains. Like, yo, Metalhead is the is the president. Like, what are you doing? Stop. Anyway, so Doge, you know, tears ass through the government, and everybody, everybody go home along me and 300,000 other black women and people just get sent home unceremoniously. So, yes, Elon Musk. I would fight him.

SPEAKER_04

I would I would battle him on Pennsylvania Avenue. What is the I was gonna say, where would you fight him?

SPEAKER_03

Uh I would battle him on Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the the the National Art Gallery. Because after I beat his ass on the street, I got like two, like 20 seconds to get in the Federal Senate Southwest. So you don't drain to make my escape.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, apart from just pride, first of all, that's fantastic. What what's at stake? What are you fighting for? Yes.

SPEAKER_03

My livelihood, Omar, is at stake, and the soul of the republic. Now ask me if I would win.

SPEAKER_04

You have to win.

SPEAKER_03

I would tear him apart. I wouldn't lose that fight. From stem to stern. I would tear the alien that is driving the men in black flesh robot that he is out of him. And then I would kill the alien. And I would set us free.

SPEAKER_04

I was gonna say with it weapons or just stray fists.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, my hands, my mitts. If anything, I'll put on my good gloves when I'm when I'm doing like yard work. Because they got like the little impact protectors on the number.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, you going like that? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, I'm a um, ooh, hallway daredevil. I'm gonna beat the shit out of him. Oh man. Combos. Tekken combos. He's gonna be gonna have sparks flying off his ass. Man. Ugh. So yeah, that's that's my that's my real entry into the fight club. If we go back around, I'll I'll have a uh fictional entry as well.

SPEAKER_04

I I I need that. So I think after that, I need all of it.

SPEAKER_03

Just throw it out there right now. Well, that's why I said if we go back around, because I do not have a fictional entry. That personal game has existed for a year and a half. I have been salty.

SPEAKER_04

Understood.

SPEAKER_03

And it's not like the normal kind of like, oh, I got laid off because of blah blah blah. Like I can point to one guy, it's that guy. So yeah. Tell them how you're rare times.

SPEAKER_02

Tell them about you.

SPEAKER_03

This is if I could, oh man, I'd V-trigger that fool. It'd be crazy.

SPEAKER_04

All right. I respect it.

SPEAKER_03

Damn it.

SPEAKER_04

Devon, what about you, sir?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I don't I I can't top that. This man gonna say Elm.

SPEAKER_04

Neither of us can top that. No, that's why I'm pointing to you saying, can you follow that? Because I ain't trying to follow that.

SPEAKER_03

Mine is very simple. Mine is very simple. It would be I would fight Bruce Lee. Oh. Better yet, I would get my butt kicked by Bruce Lee. Because I would just be able to say, man, I was just walking down the alley, or I was in a tournament, and somehow I just wound up fighting Bruce Lee. It wasn't a fight. I just woke up and I was looking up at Bruce Lee. Like, how did I get here?

SPEAKER_04

Like, I like I need to know how you got there. I need to know how you ended up. Did you okay? Because here's the thing. Is it did Bruce Lee time travel or did you?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, he hit my ass so hard it felt like I time traveled.

SPEAKER_04

So he when you woke up, he so this is what I'm I'm extrapolating from this. He time traveled to find you, no, hit you, and y'all went back to the 70s when he was alive.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Y'all both time traveled, kind of like when Nightcrawler teleported Wolverine and X-Men 97, kind of that energy. Like the one-inch punch.

SPEAKER_03

Beat your ass into it and move. It's like I like it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, like and you survived it. I can't props to you.

SPEAKER_03

I would be one of like what four people who could say, Yeah, I got my my ass beat by Bruce League. It would be like me, Chuck Norris, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and Jackie Chan.

SPEAKER_04

Jackie Chan really didn't take a L. Because Bruce hit him for real on accident.

SPEAKER_03

Like, and then it's the type of ass whooping that you would just be like, who who whooped your ass so bad? It was Bruce Lee. Oh. Oh, all right. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Like, that's okay. That's acceptable.

SPEAKER_03

You can't lose a fight if Bruce Lee beats your ass. No. If anything, you won it life. Yeah, if if a baby beats your ass, then you're doing a whole lot wrong. But if Bruce Lee beats your ass. Hold on. Okay. If Bruce Lee beats your ass, you're just living.

SPEAKER_04

That's all that's. But if a baby, if you beat the baby, did you win? No.

SPEAKER_03

No, because I beat a baby.

SPEAKER_04

So if a baby beats your ass so bad.

SPEAKER_03

You're supposed to put the baby over.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you gotta put the baby over. No, actually, this reminds me of like a really good skit that I saw somewhere where like this guy was like, he was like, he was the one who killed baby Hitler. And so he's in job interview. And he's like, I'm definitely gonna get this job interview because I killed baby Hitler. And the guy goes, Oh, well, why do you want to be here? And he's like, Well, look, because I killed baby Hitler. And he's like, You killed a baby? And then he's like, Yeah, I killed baby Hitler. And he's like, I don't know who baby Hitler is. You killed a baby. And he's like, What's the big deal? I killed baby Hitler. And then it dawns on him. There's no Hitler.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Just killed a baby. That's not what I want to do. No. No, no. Let us be very clear. I love that. Yeah. That's not what I'm getting at. I'm saying if a baby kicks your ass, you're doing something wrong.

SPEAKER_04

Even if you're fighting a baby, period, you've missed something. Yeah, something went wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Baby Hitler kicks kicks my ass. That's a whole nother timeline thing that like did Bruce punch you that far back becomes my next question.

SPEAKER_04

If you wake up and Hitler's a baby, that's how hard did Bruce Lee hit you? Damn.

SPEAKER_03

Damn. This is like when you see one of those infinity covers on a comic book. I'm like, where are we going with this? How this is where are we to go?

SPEAKER_04

I want to know this story now.

SPEAKER_03

But back to Bruce Lee. But back to Bruce Lee. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

What's at stake? What's at stake? Yes. The stakes are just being able to say, hey, I got my ass kicked by Bruce Lee. Like that's that's rarefied air. That's like that's like playing James Bond. You know? It's like very few are chosen. True. Yeah. So yeah, that's who I'd want to fight. I would want to fight Bruce Lee. You know what you sound like? What's that? You sound like one of the barbers in coming to America when he was talking about Martin Luther King. Yeah, I turn the corner, I look up, Martin Luther King right there. Punch me in the face. Shut up. You ain't never met no Martin Luther the King. Martin Luther the King.

SPEAKER_04

Martin Luther the King.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but I I've I've I thought about this long and hard today about who I would want to fight. And that all paths led right back to Bruce. Back to Bruce. So yeah. Bruce Lee is my answer. The stakes are simply getting my butt kicked by Bruce Lee and being in the You want the life experience.

SPEAKER_04

That's what they said. You want uh you know, yeah, an abundant you want the abundant life that Christ died to give you. That is what you want.

SPEAKER_03

That would be like a life experience. Like none other. Like imagine like if I had like a freaking scar, and people were like, where'd you get the scar from? Oh Bruce Lee. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. That's what I like that.

SPEAKER_03

I got a knife fight with Bruce Lee and a tornado. You wouldn't need a knife. Well, no, you have the knife. Oh, okay. Bruce Lee just had his feet. I think I would need the knife and the tornado to beat Bruce Lee. And you still lose me.

SPEAKER_04

That's true.

SPEAKER_03

There's no shame in that.

SPEAKER_04

That's a good death. It's a clean death. That is a good death. It's clean death. Yeah. Just respectful. Your boys would be like, well, dang. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Pour one out for Devon. Bruce Lee would have stomped on your neck, did the whole like stare in the camera. Oh, damn.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

There go that man. There go that man. Mama.

SPEAKER_04

There go that man. Yeah. Okay, well, let me ask you this, Devon. What is he what is he wearing when you fight him? No, seriously. Is it is it the end of the dragon look? Is it the game of death look? Yellow track suit. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Death.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Death look.

SPEAKER_04

Nunchucks or no? Does he pull out the full arsenal? He won't even it ain't even going that far. No showmanship. It's just beatings.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I hate crime, basically. Be like, what was he doing? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04

Just I don't know, man. Bruce Lee, you there.

SPEAKER_03

Black man. I know. Put him up.

SPEAKER_01

Don't take your eye off your opponent, even when you bow.

SPEAKER_03

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_04

All right. All right.

SPEAKER_03

Be water, my friend.

SPEAKER_04

Be water, my friend. Yes. Literally. Be water.

SPEAKER_03

Be like laying in a pool of mountains.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, yeah. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Be water and run the hell on that way. Ooooey.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, God. Alright.

SPEAKER_02

So I'm going to begin.

SPEAKER_04

Because I I I feel like we got enough where we can do a couple rounds of this.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

I'm going to go with my fictional fight first. I'm going to fight Destro.

SPEAKER_03

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Okay. Destro. Now, the time frame that I'm going to fight Destro in is the pre-pre-series, you know, on the regular cartoon, recurring cartoon for G.I. Joe. But I want to fight the Destro where he's introduced as he brings in the three elements to power the mask device.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_04

So that version of Destro where he's introduced. And the reason I want to fight him is because I know that he's going to end up with the Baroness. And I want the Baroness. So I'm going to have to defeat Destro so I can shoot my shot at the Baroness.

SPEAKER_03

Point of order.

SPEAKER_04

Please.

SPEAKER_03

You're doing this. There's you like, y'all aren't even on the same footing as far as Baroness's affections. You're doing you're going to beat his ass for the opportunity.

SPEAKER_04

For the opportunity. Not even a guarantee. For the opportunity to shoot the shot. Yes. There's no guarantees.

SPEAKER_03

We're still respecting the ladies' agency. I love that. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04

For the opportunity.

SPEAKER_03

Here's where I find the more flaw in all this. There are multiple men in multiple different branches of the U.S. service. Military service. Trying to chase down five elements. Three.

SPEAKER_04

The three catalytic elements. Yeah, three elements.

SPEAKER_03

It's been a while. And there's also a war going on with a terrorist organization who's also trying to do the same. And Omar's like, let me slide into her DMs.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Yes. Listen, priority. So now to in my defense, speaking of that, Destro and Cobra Commander in that series played a video game where they had two, I believe, robots or two controlled giant creatures fight each other. So I'm just saying, it's not just me that's distracted. They were also distracted. They had time to.

SPEAKER_03

We gotta deploy Omar's horny ass. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, if I take out Destro, I weaken Cobra. And by proxy, save the day and get a chance to shoot my shot. So there are there's more at stake than just me shooting my shot. That's not even guaranteed. But if I beat Destro, the world is saved. Cobra falls with him. No, it doesn't. Because Cobra Commander couldn't hold that, not that version of him.

SPEAKER_02

No doesn't.

SPEAKER_03

But my lord, why not why not a domestic option? Perhaps Lady J. Or.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, just by shooting my shot at the Baroness and beating up Destro, my entire profile raises. I will be more desirable.

SPEAKER_03

So so the only thing at stake here is you shooting your shot. You, by beating James McCullen Destro, you do not get access to the McCullen Destro Armada, like the weapons company.

SPEAKER_04

I think it will be one of those things where I get it, and I didn't even realize I was getting it by taking him out. It'll be one of things. Yeah, exactly. Like, oh wait, I get all of this comes with I didn't even know. Didn't even know. Oh, and I 100% win. I have to win. I have to win because I have to shoot my shot.

SPEAKER_03

Yo, he's gonna hand back. I have to do it.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. He would have he would 100% do it.

SPEAKER_03

Dink.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

How could I have not seen this coming?

unknown

Ah.

SPEAKER_03

You'd be drawn like family guy characters, it'd be fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_04

I'm trying to think of how I find Cobra's base. Well, you know what? It's a giant castle with a big old snake on the top. I'm 100% gonna find that and Snake Mountain at the same time.

SPEAKER_03

GPS hadn't been really invented at the time.

SPEAKER_04

That's a fair point.

SPEAKER_03

We knew it, know it now, I should say.

SPEAKER_04

That's who I would fight. That's my fictional fight. Destro. Destro. So just to recap round one of this. Chris is going to beat the living snot out of Elon Musk on Pennsylvania Avenue.

SPEAKER_03

I'm going to demolish him.

SPEAKER_04

He's going to demolish him. Devon is going to lose, respectfully, to Bruce Lee. Yeah. And I'm going to challenge Destro, defeat him in hopes of getting an opportunity to shoot my shot at the Baroness. That is round one. So Devon, you and well, no, I was gonna say fictional, but Bruce Lee's real. So you two did real, I did fictional. I mean Christie.

SPEAKER_03

I'd say Bruce Lee's both real and fictional.

SPEAKER_04

That that is that's fair. He actually could fit either category. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

He's like Mr. T. Real and Real and fictional.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Or Sergeant Flaughter.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. Somehow that is correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Were they an athlete? Were they made a GI Joe? They count, goddammit. Yeah. The free.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. That is accurate.

SPEAKER_03

Big Love. You know, if you said I wanted to fight Big Love, I'm not shit myself. The last GI Joe I bought was Big R. That toy looks awesome. It is awesome. And it is taller than the other G.I. Joe's. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, have at this point, can you make like a whole Sergeant Slaughter's crew? No. I can't. Not yet? No. Okay. No, I I just collect random ones. It's so random. And I was like, you're never going to see another big lob action figure, so I wouldn't. Never. Yeah. Yeah. So I went and bought it. I felt that way about Ultra Magnus. And I ended up getting two Ultra Magnuses. And now there's another Ultra Magnus coming. I'm like, damn it.

SPEAKER_00

But this one's this one's even cooler. It has more points of articulation.

SPEAKER_03

It never ends. It never ends. Oh, I guess it's back to me, right? Back to you, sir. Our fight club. Okay. I choose for my opponent or opponents all four of the real Ghostbusters. I'm going to beat their asses. Wait, but hold on, hold on. If you're gonna fight the Ghostbusters, you have to be a ghost. I have to be a ghost. If you're gonna fight a Ghostbuster, the ghostbusters I have a concern. Seriously. No, but they are spit, they are wasting the city's utilities and they are driving up everybody's bills. Do not tell me I'm wrong. We've seen what's happening with these data centers.

SPEAKER_04

I'm sensing a theme.

SPEAKER_03

If mom donnie's not gonna do it, goddammit. What's at stake? Everybody's bills, Devon. Light bill through the roof. Gas bill through the roof. Water bill. Ridiculous. You gotta pay monthly, not quarterly. What? Talk about we got a ghost vault in the basement. The hell? Where is your permit? Got me a grand with that jackass from the first movie. For the dude, Dickless. Man, those movies are so fun. Like Pete, these dudes, these fanboys are like, yo, they are so serious about Ghostbusters. Bro, Dan Aykroy got a ghost BJ. What are you talking about? Relax.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's no, it does not need this reverence.

SPEAKER_03

So, yeah, all four of the Ghostbusters. I'd have the most trouble, I feel, with Winston. Because Ernie Hudson at 72 years old is probably beating the hell out of me. Like, he's in better shape than all three of us put together.

SPEAKER_04

That's a that's accurate. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

He's gonna have a green, like a green smoothie. It's like, all right, you son of a bitch, let's go. He's beating my ass. And that is how I will lose. Bill Murray, like eye gougs, like Rick Fledge. Bam. Done. Dan Aykroyd, kicking the knees, done. Harold Ramus, done. Ernie Hudson, he's gonna back body drop me. Like it's 1985 WrestleMania. He's like, bam, whoo! Ah that's the sound I'm gonna make when I hit the ground.

SPEAKER_00

Like, ah no, Ernie Hudson. I loved you and the crow. It can't rain all the time.

SPEAKER_03

And scene. Wow.

SPEAKER_04

The real Ghostbusters.

SPEAKER_03

Devon is incredulous. He hates me.

SPEAKER_04

I just wait a minute. Let me let me make sure I understand. The the stakes are utilities.

SPEAKER_03

Utilities.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I am doing a public service.

SPEAKER_04

Doing a public service.

SPEAKER_03

For my brethren and neighborhoods.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, wait, wait, wait, I have questions. You beat them all down.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Three.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, you leave one.

SPEAKER_03

No, I mean, I can't. I don't think I can whoop ass on Ernie Hudson. Not even now.

SPEAKER_04

Okay, fair. Alright, so there is basically one Ghostbuster left.

SPEAKER_03

Mm-hmm. He runs my ass over with actors.

SPEAKER_04

Okay. I was just like, I like utility is one thing, but like ghosts getting out and having no one to bust them became my next concern. Like you beat them, the ghosts then become the problem.

SPEAKER_03

But see, there's the thing. I am a closed-minded human person who doesn't believe that the ghostbusters are actually busting ghosts like they say they are. Is that I have a $2,000 water bill and I need some fucking answers.

SPEAKER_04

That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_03

My light bill $1,500. I'm gonna kill you.

SPEAKER_04

I'm not mad at it.

SPEAKER_03

My apartment is the size of a closet. Somebody must answer for this.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, uh I like it.

SPEAKER_03

Devon thoughts. I have none. I have none. Like, that's your fight. Like you un unleash hell in New York because you want to fight your electric bill. I don't know. I don't know what to say. This man would go back in time and just like look for butterflies to stop. No zing. How do I ruin all of this?

SPEAKER_02

Um so devonsor.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, all right. Who would I want to fight? So I guess the format is I think you could do either one.

SPEAKER_04

You did Bruce Lee was both. I think you could go either way.

SPEAKER_03

Oh man, you know, in my earlier segment, I was making a joke about wanting to maybe beat up a kid or something. I'm gonna kill Dennis DeMace. Close. Like, I wouldn't want to beat them up, but I would want to like give some serious eyeballing to Lucy Van Pelt. Cause the stuff she has put my man Charlie through. Like, I don't believe in putting your hands on kids, but Lucy.

SPEAKER_04

I understand. I understand.

SPEAKER_03

Me and her, and for those who are who are listening and not being able to see what I'm doing, I'm doing that. I got my eyes on you. Hand gesture. You'll be the parent that she never had. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, obviously, like Lucy has never like dealt with like a black parent before.

SPEAKER_04

I was gonna say, like, when are we doing this? When does this encounter happen?

SPEAKER_03

Because if I see her pull that ball away from that boy, I'm gonna be looking across that football field, like, hey now. You see me? I know you see. You stop messing with that big head boy. Do it again.

SPEAKER_04

Again, again, I'm wondering when you're doing this. Because if you're doing this in the early 60s, the police are looking at you as you look at her.

SPEAKER_03

Wait.

SPEAKER_04

But if you're doing it now.

SPEAKER_03

Why don't you why don't you bring in civil rights movement into it? Oh my damn. I know. For real. He's like, well, you know you couldn't use a water fountain back then. You might not be wanting to be glaring at that that girl with the blue dress on while she torments that little boy. Just just calm down. Just calm down.

SPEAKER_00

Do not use it.

SPEAKER_04

Do not use it because then we can't we can't use the episode.

unknown

No.

SPEAKER_03

I'm just saying, from the perspective of a very fruit, bald-headed kid who tries to do his best and doesn't always see the results that he wishes would happen, but still yet comes back with a positive attitude. To watch this woman, this no young girl. Sorry, I was just thinking about it. Watch this young girl pull hope from this little boy's. They are, and they should. For messing with this little white.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

So yes, the answer would be gonna we're gonna learn about Devon in school after this. The answer would be who would I want to fight? I don't want to fight her, but I want to let her know. I want Lucy Van Pelt to know. I want her to know.

SPEAKER_04

I have so many, so many questions.

SPEAKER_03

The oft-overlooked Christmas Addicts of the Civil Rights Movement, Devon Sanders.

SPEAKER_04

Devon Sanders is Christmas Addicts. Yeah. I'm just thinking, man, like give that football back to that big head child. I'm thinking about the downstream impacts of this. Because you warn Lucy. Mm-hmm. Linus is her brother. Linus now might have might want to square up.

SPEAKER_03

Actually, Linus would probably thank me.

SPEAKER_04

That's his sister, man. That's his sister. Like it's it's blood. Do you do you? I mean, I don't know. Charlie Brown would definitely thank you. Charlie Brown would be like, bruh, thank you.

SPEAKER_03

As the oldest of five boys, I have to suffer through this podcast with two only children who don't understand sibling dynamics. There have been times where, like, if somebody would have offered $2 and a charms blow pop, I'd have given one of them away. You don't want to do percussions after. Now, don't get me wrong. I love all my brothers. I love them the pieces. We're learning so much today. I love them the pieces. Shout out to my brother Nick, who would have been 46 yesterday. I love them all. But there have been some trying times. That's all I could say about that. I'm just so thankful to have what we have right now. But yes, I think if you caught Linus on the right day, he'd be like, well, hey, Carly Brown, let's go to the baseball field and he threatened your sister.

SPEAKER_04

Man, I don't care. Somebody needs to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, he gave me a blow pop. You know, like he would be there like with his little blanket and then just be like, I I need to hit his lisp. Lucy was getting her come up at like that would just be it. Glad I can help you, little children. It'd be like, Y'all go ahead and play now. I know. Oh, girl, go sit, child no words dirty.

SPEAKER_04

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

SPEAKER_02

Learning to shut the hell up. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03

So yes, fantastic. Van Pelt. Lucy Van Pelt. Locker room cancer.

SPEAKER_02

Oh God.

unknown

Locker room cancer.

SPEAKER_04

Locker room cancer. I like it. I respect it. I love it. I absolutely love it. Did we say what was at stake? Just just doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_03

Just doing the right thing. Somebody needs to do right by Charlie. And who's not named blindness? That's fair. Some adult needs to come in there and just unwomp womp.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Like, hey now.

SPEAKER_04

I know Schroeder would appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

He would dab you up. Yeah. Hey, thanks, bro.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Schroeder actually likes Charlie. So does Franklin. But it's like Lucy's just, she's a predator. Like, she's always buckling in. Like, oh, his little friends aren't around. Let me crush his spirit. You move that football one more goddamn time here. Let him kick it. Just just let him kick it. Shit. The women in my life are awesome.

SPEAKER_04

I respect what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03

Not all heroes were capes, man.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, not all heroes. Wear capes.

SPEAKER_03

Not all villains wear blue dresses.

SPEAKER_04

That's fair. That is more than fair. We should like expand on this as like a hit and run down the road. I want to know what the fallout is of threatening Lucy Van Pelt to the peanuts universe.

SPEAKER_03

It's only happening one good time. Because that's all you that's all I would need. Just that one good time.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_04

So she doesn't tell anybody. She just shuts up and lets him kick the football from now on.

SPEAKER_03

I don't know, man. I mean, he ain't gonna do nothing with you need to be like telling about. Like it's not like that. I mean, it ain't that deep. Relax. Relax. He ain't going on a list telling his guy not to bully this big man boy. Last night there was a lynching in the deep. It's never that deep, Charlie Brown.

SPEAKER_04

Actually, that'd be the name of the episode. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Cartoon. It's never that deep, Charlie Brown.

unknown

Wow.

SPEAKER_03

In this kids learn about class consciousness. Comrade Charlie. Oh my God. Charlie Brown learns about socialism. Socialism, Charlie Brown. No, no one runs out of money. You just never get evicted. That's the game. Damn it.

SPEAKER_04

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03

Footballs forever is what I'm saying, man.

SPEAKER_04

Oh man.

SPEAKER_03

Age capitalism, Charlie Brown. That's why you'll never have a house. But I'm a cartoon or Nickelodeon. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Which paywalls Charlie Brown, which is even worse. Oh never like that's a whole nother thing. Man. Omar. Get this show back on the road. Who you fight?

SPEAKER_04

All right. I was trying to boil this down to. I've got it down to two. Do you mind if I give you two real instances?

SPEAKER_03

Baby, you're running the software. Let's go. Come on, producer.

SPEAKER_04

The I'm gonna give an honorable mention to Jim Shooter. I want to fight Jim Shooter.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, he's dead.

SPEAKER_04

No, no, no. I'm talking I'm going back in time to fight during the 80s. Yeah. No, no, no, no. No, no. I'm going back. In fact, Bruce Lee fights me also, sends me back so that I can fight Jim Shooter. I'm like, hit me so that I go back to the 80s.

SPEAKER_03

Hit me so hard.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Right around the time that the Secret Wars is being crafted because I have some thoughts and some edits I want him to do that I don't think he'll do. That's my honorable mention.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I just want I just want I want the right to change things in Secret Wars.

SPEAKER_03

So why I why would you want to fight him though? Like give me a specific.

SPEAKER_04

I want control of Secret Wars.

SPEAKER_03

That's it?

SPEAKER_04

That's it. I want to, I want to, I wanna do it. I want to have it.

SPEAKER_03

Because there's a good chance that if you mess up Jim Shooter, we don't get a Transformers the way we know it. I didn't say end him.

SPEAKER_04

I said fight him for the rights. Hey, it's not that deep, Charlie Brown. Honor will mention Jim Shooter.

SPEAKER_03

Well, you also six six.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, I'm gonna have a ladder and like y'all two and a and a few other friends to help me. Listen, Devon is already time traveling. So he's used to it.

SPEAKER_03

Can I please make this make this very clear? I was born in 1985.

SPEAKER_04

Well, then you'd be there. You might ace in the hole. He's not gonna fight a baby. We've established that. Still, somehow, some way. When did Secret Wars come out?

SPEAKER_03

Shoot.

SPEAKER_04

I want to say like 86, 84? Okay. Chris, I uh maybe I'll wait. Maybe I'll fight him over something else.

SPEAKER_03

You're gonna fight him by the Lannis attack.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, maybe maybe that's what I do. Yeah. All right, but that's my honorable mention. My my real one, and mind you, this is I want to make sure that I give the the caveats. Secret Wars. Okay. Chris, I wouldn't, you know, I would have loved to have had you there.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I mean, hey, it depending on if you do this, if you if you mount the offensive after the the the Prince concert at Capitol Center, you might be good.

SPEAKER_04

It's fair. I want to fight my seventh grade algebra teacher.

SPEAKER_03

Oh. Oh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I really do. Yeah. This person scarred me in a way that so imagine, you know, in elementary school.

SPEAKER_03

Even the saxophones right there.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. Yeah, you should, yes. I might be able to fly them in on the audio version. Some little Kenny G or something. No, but boys in the wood saxophones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair. Well, fair. Zigzag, baby. Yeah. Decent math skills in elementary school. You know, and getting ready to go into seventh grade. And my mother says to me, she goes to like the I I had to get permission to go to a deal because I didn't live in, y'all know how it is in DC. Like you had to live in the ward in order to be allowed to go to the school. And we lived in ward four, and you know, Tinley Town in that area was I don't know what ward it was, but like you had to get permission to go there. It turned out that one of the people that my mother went to college with was one of was the assistant principal. And so he was like, I got him. Gets me in the deal. And she goes up for like the orientation, parent teacher orientation. And she comes home and she says, Okay, you're gonna have a schedule. Like the big thing going into seventh grade was you're gonna switch classrooms. It was like, oh, oh man, we're gonna switch classes. Like that was new. Like, because you in elementary school, you go to one classroom, you have one teacher every year. And this was a way, we go here and we do this, and we go, we're gonna have this many teachers. And she said, Yeah, we I signed you up for pre-algebra. And I was terrified because I'd heard of algebra, but I didn't like know what it was, and I was like, Oh, I don't know. Oh, go ahead, Chris.

SPEAKER_03

For those playing the home game, we are referring to Alice Deal Middle School.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Continue Omar.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, thank you. We may want to tell them what wards mean too, for those that don't know anything about the DMV. You had to be like tell me you're from DC without telling me you're from DC. If you don't know, if you tell me you're from DC and you know what a ward is, no.

SPEAKER_03

It's like a borough. Yeah, there are six quadrants of DC that is separated into basically sections. So nation state. Yeah. Nation state. It's like ward one, which I I live in, is in Northwest. Then there's ward two, there's ward three, there's ward four, five, and six. Oh, wait a minute. My bad. There's eight wards. What about it?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, eight wards. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. There's basically eight sections of Washington, D.C. So there we go. Yes.

SPEAKER_04

All right. So mother's like, you're gonna I put you in pre algebra. And I was like, why? Why do you hate me? She was like, you know, no, no, no, you know, but I think you can handle it. So we're gonna put you in that. I lasted a semester because the teacher was just, I mean, it there's there's mean and there's like mean where you're like, okay, that person was mean, but I grew. That teacher was hard, but that's the one I want to go back and see and be grateful for how tough they were on me because they were tough. This person destroyed my confidence so completely within two semesters that I went decades after with no confidence at all that I could do math. When I ended up getting into the University of Maryland and they had a placement exam, and I was already like, Well, I guess I'm taking remedial math because you know I'm not any good at this. So the confidence was just shot uh at Maryland remedial math, barely got through that and with drop math courses. It wasn't until I went back to school after dropping out. Years and years and years later. I dropped out of Maryland in '92, went back briefly in '98, and then finished my degree at Strayer starting in 2006, finishing in 09. And the I I will never forget they told me I'm about four classes in, and I'm purposely not taking algebra because I'm terrified of it. You know, now as a grown grown man, and the I forget what they're called, but the the people that would like like sign you up for classes and your your liaison with the school, they were like, look, we're not, you you have to take algebra. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna take it. You know, I'm just saving it for last. Like my whole thing was I'm not going to deal with, like, my thinking was if it's the only thing standing between me and finishing, then I think I'll be I'll be forced to do it. But I don't want to kill my momentum because I have dropped a bunch of classes. My undergrad and early on, I wasn't a very good student, just didn't have any confidence in it and was terrified of failing out again. Like when you drop out, it just messes with your psyche. And so just the fact that I'm even back in school got that far. I didn't want to lose any momentum. I'm terrified of this. And they said, Well, we're not gonna let you register unless you register for algebra. You've hid from it long enough, was basically what they told me. And I got so upset that I threatened to transfer. I was that shook. And they were like, you just have to take a placement exam. And I'm like, no, I've taken placement exams before. If I'm I don't I don't want to pay, because this at this point I'm paying for it. I don't want to pay $1,500 for a remedial math course, you know, when I could just wait. And they were like, dude, you haven't even tried. Now that triggered me from our last conversation from the Jerry Mitchell, dude, you didn't even try to fight. So once that was said to me, it was the the kick in the fanny that I needed.

SPEAKER_03

Not the fanny.

SPEAKER_04

Yes, the fanny. I go up to wherever they they had me do this placement exam. Now, what's interesting is during this window of having been dropped out and going back, I had become a musician, and I taught myself how to do some basic Python programming and some HTML programming like back in the day, like just through reading the code and figure, like just figuring stuff out, messing with it, getting it wrong and so forth.

SPEAKER_00

You taught yourself basic?

SPEAKER_04

Mm-hmm. Now, what's wild is I'm not making the connection that music is math, you know, or any of these things. So I don't know. I'm just going off of what happened to me in seventh grade, terrified. I go up and I'm about to go in, I'm mad the whole time. You know, just mad that they're making me do this. And I'll never forget the the woman who was like, look, you know, just try. You know, if you don't do like do the best you can. They gave me an hour. I was done with the placement exam in like 15 minutes. And it was only 15 minutes because I like checked everything and came out and I was like, well, I answered everything. And, you know, funny enough, it was like multiple choice. So it was like it wasn't, you know, like you're doing calculus or nothing. Came out, she ran the numbers. I got a 98 on this placement exam. And she looked at me. I'll never forget, she was like, I thought you couldn't do math. And I was like, so did I. Ended up getting an A in every math class I took at Strayer, was tutoring people in statistics by the end of the run. And what's interesting is I had an opportunity when I first started working for Disney to speak to the college interns. Now, what's interesting is that they they call you in to speak to the interns, and typically you will have a panel of about seven people, and all the people on the panel are folks that were typically like, Well, I was a college intern at Disney and I, you know, I did this and I did that. So they go down the line as people are introducing themselves, and then they get to me, and I say, Well, I dropped out of college, and my GPA was so terrible that I probably could not get into the schools that you are in now, but I'll tell you how to get a job here. You know, if you listen, and they look. The person asked me one of the questions I got asked, man, what from one of the students was, Well, what classes should I be taking? And I said, Take as much math as you can. And they like you could almost see like their heart sink. And that person came up to me afterwards and they were like, but I'm you know, I'm not good at I'm not good at math. I remember looking at her and I said, Do you have a checking account? And she said, Yeah. I said, if I took $10 out of your checking account, would you notice? She said, Yeah. I said, then you can do math as subtraction. Go take math classes. And she walked out. And I learned in that moment, man, that math is just confidence. Here's the interesting twist on this part of me wants to thank this teacher. Because if I don't have that experience, I don't have the failures that lead to those moments. It does like it, it's I I wouldn't want to trade what happened after for some temporary relief of having gone through what was seemingly traumatic. I don't think it was cool. But oh, and I didn't even get to tell you, like, it was the thing that put me over the top that made me drop this person's class was there was a day that we were getting quizzes handed back, and this teacher went around a room and would call your grade out in front of the whole class.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, that ain't cool, man.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, literally would go around and gets to me and was like, Do you want to know what you got? Yeah, you got a D. Would do this. Yeah, kid you not. This happened. It was Alice Deal, junior high school, seventh grade, and there are people that are listening that are like, I know exactly who that is. I'm not gonna say no names, but y'all know if you went there, you know who I'm talking about. Devastating. You know, the part of me wants to say thank you. Part of me would love to go back in time and be 12 and say, let's box.

SPEAKER_03

Now, if someone is listening at home that does know exactly who Omar is talking about, schedule some blood work. Check your levels.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, man. Jim Shooter and my seventh grade algebra teacher. Fight.

SPEAKER_03

Beautiful story, Omar. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, hey, Chris. Yes, sir. Wanna go somewhere and cry together? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I can't, I legitimately I cannot relate to any of that for one reason. If I had even considered dropping out of a thing, Cherie Scott would have killed me. She would have punched me so hard that I disappeared. It it would have been 1984 all over again, and we're gonna try and lose it.

SPEAKER_04

And that's how you helped me fight Jim Shooter. That's how you do it.

SPEAKER_02

There you go.

SPEAKER_03

I would have I would have solved that particular problem if I had it by simply just knowing and admitting I'm just not good at something. Like that's just me. Like we went to the same high school, Omar and I, and I took uh rock sciences. And I never this was like senior year. Damn.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Wait a minute. Okay, because the rock sciences, like the all right, so I don't remember that because yeah, like the yeah. All right, let me ask you this. Did you did you go because you and I like I talked you in a bit like, man, let's go up to Domino's quite a few times. Like, forget that class, man. Me and you, we going over here.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. So this is where you and I differ. There was a point in that class where the teacher was like, if you just show up, I'll give you a D. And I just looked at her and I said, You and I both know I'm never gonna care about rocks. So if you gotta give me the F, give me the F. I've already got enough credits to graduate out this B. So if you want to give me the F, give me the F. Because I'm not learning about rocks. Did you end up learning about rocks, Devon? No. Oh, wow. You really didn't know.

SPEAKER_04

No, man, you train with me. Me and Devon, man, I mean Devon was just like it was we were Superman and Batman in senior year.

SPEAKER_03

No, but you know what? But I'm just saying this. I didn't terrible influence on Devon. Come with me. I did not feminine to this woman out of spite. I was saying it because I knew realistically, I did not care. I knew I was never gonna use this stuff again. So it was like, ma'am, you cannot make me care about rocks as much as you care about rocks. So let's just there's no, there's there's gonna be no beating moments here. Like, I just don't care.

SPEAKER_04

Like, I'm do you remember anything from that class? Anything?

SPEAKER_03

I remember igneous and sedentary rocks or something like that. I don't know. See, I'm proving my point.

SPEAKER_04

You ain't had time to be reading. I get that. I understand that.

SPEAKER_03

No, I read a lot, but the things I don't care about, I really don't care about.

SPEAKER_04

Yo, that's true. That is true. And I like oh, bruh, like you ain't gonna tell me it is it's a say less, man. Like, like one of the things that I admire most about Devon Sanders, ladies and gentlemen, children. Is that he has no problem standing on like if Devon believes a thing, that's that's it. Good luck trying to move him off of that. It ain't happening. Nope. He and don't care. Don't care what you think. Nope, this is where it is. And I respect that because I will like like change my mind, you know, on certain things. Like things that I come in, like, no, it's this. And then he'll be like, but what about this? And I go, you know, you might be right. I will flip like a pancake. But Devon, it's this. And I wish I could be more like that with Devon Noah's complete sentence.

SPEAKER_03

I've gotten better. You know, I have gotten better.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I'm not saying that you don't like you are like. Immovable. Yeah. What I mean is you are you stand on business. Like you have no problem being exact having your opinion being exactly who you are. And it's like one like what you see is what you get. It's 100 all the time. It's a deep respect.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, stink mean all the time. Damn. You know, I've never even seen that show, but I know who you're talking about. I'm no kidding, man.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's impossible not to know who stink Nina is.

SPEAKER_03

It's definitely worth your time. No, you're not.

SPEAKER_04

You are not Stinking, Randall.

SPEAKER_03

You are definitely grandpa. But like you're not.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I would say that. I would say that. Yeah, you're definitely granddad. Yeah, definitely granddad.

SPEAKER_03

I am like if you had to look at a character who is me in real life, it would probably be Stanley from the office. Or it would be like Barber in Coming to America. It's Mama Name of Clay. I'm gonna call him Cassius Clay. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. You'd be the Arsenio barber.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Yeah, you would. I can see that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So that meant you Eddie Murphy?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know. I might be the other barber.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, you ain't even the king. That boy good. Good and terrible. That boy good. Oh man. So that was a whole soccer. I feel like I need to talk about the time I had a nervous breakdown in the middle of college in my sophomore year. Look at that. Devon Sanders saving y'all from my story of being another man in a Bruce Banner as I walk down Central Avenue in the rain. Yeah, because we're threatening to have a 90-minute episode as we uh Listen, you knew that when Oh, I know, I know. It went from me fighting Lucy Van Pelt or wanting to like Yeah, you didn't fight. You fought her with your eyes. No violence. At the end, you turned into festivists. I respect it though. This is what you get when you have a clean for a clear, you know, just a clear path, a wild format.

SPEAKER_04

Listen, man, this shouldn't surprise you. This is basically our text messages in real life. True.

SPEAKER_03

It is.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. I will text Devon about any kind of random thing. Like, man, I'm I'm thinking like the the shifts in discussion. Because I will just text you about anything. And you just roll with it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. All right, I guess we're talking about this. About a month ago, I like texted him out of the blue. Hey, Omar, oranges don't taste the way that they used to taste. I was like, they're they're just not citrusy like they used to be. Like the like these are actual things I said.

SPEAKER_04

These are actual conversations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

The reason that excuse me. The reason that Tang was called Tang, it was an orange flavor beverage. There's no Tang in an orange. These are actual like text messages.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Tang is the official drink of astronauts, too, by the way.

SPEAKER_03

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Use one of them Sunny D kids, wasn't you Devon?

SPEAKER_04

Oh, everybody was a Sunny D. Everybody was a Sunny D. Sunny D is delicious.

SPEAKER_03

You didn't like Sunny Dr. From Aldai. No, no. What about okay, more Tampico? No. It tasted heavy.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

Were you a Tampico?

SPEAKER_03

I barely remembered. I did like that.

SPEAKER_04

It was like Tampico was delicious. It is the official drink of the hood. We love it. Give me more Tampico.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Wait, it was how we how the hell are we going to wrap this up?

SPEAKER_04

Hey, listen, you in our defense, you brought up oranges. Yeah. And how they don't taste good. Yeah. That got me on Tampico. I'm trying to get us to 90.

SPEAKER_03

We've had a wonderful evening here on the Tap S podcast. An evening of thorough introspection, outward growth, and good Christian family fun. And we elbow drop billionaires, and we've come to grips with past traumas.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Well to yours. We wish you a happy. Take care. See you next episode, baby. I'm Chris Scott. That's Devon Sanders. That's Omar. We out. That's how you wrap it up, damn it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how it works for dad. And that's how it's gonna go. Yeah, I was like, how are we gonna bring this back? Yeah. I'm glad you were just like, alright, enough.

SPEAKER_04

Not my fault. I was orange juice. It gets too good to me. It gets too good to me.

SPEAKER_03

Oranges are delicious.

SPEAKER_04

Oranges are delicious. Or at least they used to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Not as good. Apples that I can't really mess with.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, it depends on the kind of apple that you get.

SPEAKER_03

See, I like apple juice. Yeah. Okay. Unless I'm good when you put apple in things. I don't think.

SPEAKER_04

Even honey crisp? Honey crisp is good. You don't like honey crisp apples?

SPEAKER_03

Oh, they're oh, actually, those are good. Those are good.

SPEAKER_04

That's the only ones I'll get, man. Honey crisp. Expensive as well. But these days, what is it?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Those are the only places I can actually eat like an apple. But it's like you chop up an apple, you put in some fruit salad, boom. Put it in a pot, boom. I'm there. But if you just hand me an apple, it'll be like thanks.

SPEAKER_00

I ain't messing up my teeth for this. I ain't your meat.

SPEAKER_04

Exactly. Yeah. I have to cut them. I'm I'm I'm that dude. I have to cut the apple. Yeah. Before I eat it. And then even on the side, because I don't want to eat it. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Smother it in peanut butter if I'm gonna eat it. Damn.

SPEAKER_04

That also.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I'm not just gonna I'm not just gonna raw dog an apple, that's for sure. Zip.