Episode #45 - Don't wait!... you may not have the time!

Episode Notes: 

Do you know how much time you have left?... how many more days left on this planet?

Are there things you KNOW you want to START or STOP doing, but haven’t yet?

What are the fences that need mending within your own family, the broken relationships that YOU could help repair?

What are you waiting for??.... will you have more time later?

Join us this week, as we look at the opportunities we have in life to START or STOP doing the things that would bring us our best life… and the fact that many of us have relationships within our families that need restoring… before we run out of time!

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Transcript

Episode #45 – Don’t wait… you may not have the time! 

Hey, what’s up everybody? Welcome back to another episode of The Mindwrench Podcast, I am your host Rick Selover, thank you so much for tuning in & spending a few minutes with me today. 

I think we can all agree, time goes by much faster than we want… unless we are waiting in line at our local DMV, or waiting on our next shipment from Amazon or USPS…. Time, so it seems, zips by quicker every month… the older you get, the faster it goes, right?

 I also think we can agree that, time is the one thing in life, you can’t manipulate… can’t stretch it, can’t shorten it, can’t stop it, can’t make it go faster, can’t buy more of it, can’t save it for later, loan it out, borrow it, or most importantly… can’t get 1 second of it back once it’s past us…. agreed?

 Now, it is my belief, that most all of us have some things in our lives that we want or need to start doing (like staring a new job, new career, launch a new business, learn to play guitar... piano… whatever, learn a new language, start exercising, try golfing or skiing, write a book… the list is endless, we all have some deep desire to do something we currently are not doing... maybe something our gut tells us we SHOULD be doing) and there are some things we know we should just stop doing (quit an unfulfilling job or career, eating junk food, or sugar, or carbs, quit smoking or drinking or drugs, or leave a toxic relationship, or letting others direct our life, or spending too much time on social media or Netflix, talking shit about others, or postponing something we know we need to do).

 Yes, we all have those things we know…deep down inside, we know we need to START or STOP doing, but we don’t… we put it off… we let our limiting beliefs, or the limiting beliefs of others, keep us from making those changes… from taking the action that is needed, right?

 We’ll start tomorrow, next week, next month, next year… sometime later, just not right NOW... there will be plenty of time for THAT…. LATER, RIGHT?

 But what if there isn’t time later?...

Do you know you’ll have time later?...

Are you sure about that...? NO?

Well, how much time DO you have?

 Obviously, none of us know that answer… but what if you did?... what would you do?

If you were told that you had 1 month left on this earth… that’s it… 1 month…, what would you do with the time you had left? … those days- hours- minutes and even seconds would INSTANTLY mean so much more, wouldn’t they?

What would you STOP doing?

Would you get up tomorrow & go to that unfulfilling job that sucks the life out of you?... NO, you know you wouldn’t!

Would you spend any more minutes with those toxic people in your life that cause you grief & bring no joy to your life?... probably NOT, right?

Would you continue to perform tasks, or take on burdens for others that bring NO value to you or those you love?... NOPE!

Would you stop wasting what time you had, on anything that did not bring peace, happiness or joy to you, your family or the most important people in your life… you KNOW you would!

What would you START doing?

Probably the most important things you could…

Forgive quickly…

Let go of old grudges you’ve been hanging on to for years…

Spend your money on what brings you or your loved one’s pleasure…

Maybe you would mend that broken relationship with someone in your family, express to those you love, how much you care about them, start getting up early to meet the sunrise and enjoy the quiet and stillness of nature that early morning holds.

Try those things you always wanted to try... skydiving, deep-sea fishing, playing an instrument, doing a stand-up routine on open-mike night, travel to a far-away, once-in-a-lifetime destination or whatever else was in your heart.

Squeeze every drop of life out of what time you still had…

Because on your last day... if you knew it was coming… you would probably surround yourself with those that matter the most to you… your family… and only your closest of friends.

So, the real question is…

If we know these things to be true, and these are the things we would START or STOP doing…. What are we waiting for right now?

 We agreed earlier that we don’t know what day is our last, right?

So why are we waiting?

What if miss our chance to do, feel & say those things?

What do you think that would feel like, to know we had dreams we could have realized, but we just kept putting it off another day… kicking the can down the road another month, or a year, or a decade?......

Wouldn’t that suck?

Wouldn’t you want a do-over?

I want to share with you why this subject comes to mind for me right now….

But first, I want to let you in on a little secret… 

I listen to a lot of different podcast shows, and I love all the things I’m learning on this journey. I have noticed many of the podcast shows pre-record several shows in advance, sometimes they can have a whole season’s worth or a couple months’ worth of shows already recorded, edited and ready for release, “in the can” as they say, ready to go…way in advance.

But me, I don’t do that… NOPE...  not me…. Maybe that makes more sense, but that’s not me!

My show is weekly, and I usually record the week before I release that episode.

That way I can take what is fresh on my mind for a learning I can share, combine with what’s on my heart, and blend a message that helps YOU, as much as possible both in the shop & at home, in your own personal life… at least THAT is my GOAL.

So, the reason I share this message today is, we lost another beautiful soul, another sweet person from my extended family this past week, very sudden & unexpectedly, in the least probable way I could have imagined for this young woman… she lost her life to gun violence.

Only 32 years old, newly engaged to be married, happiest time in her life, so excited for what the future may hold… and all over in a matter of seconds. 

Now, if you know me, or have listened to the show since last Fall, you would already know that I lost both of my sisters, exactly 30 days apart from each other, in the Fall of 2020. Not due to COVID, but both way too early and those losses devastated the reminder of my family, to say the least.

Certainly, I was shocked & saddened to hear about yet another loss to our family… 

Just for perspective, I come from a very close family of 5 kids growing up, my mom had 3 sisters that were all very close, getting together often for birthdays & holidays all the way through our adult lives and my three Aunts raised their families in the same fashion. Although my other 3 aunts & their families still lived in Minnesota, and we were the family that moved away to Detroit, we still managed to stay close to all our relatives, visited every year as we were growing up and stay relevant in each other’s lives as adults. I have been very blessed in that department, I know.

Now in all the years I’ve spent servicing the collision industry, sharing my days with multiple customers, every day for over 30 years, listening to their stories… sharing their lives… one thing I have discovered is what I experienced in my family life was not the “standard”, not what I thought would be the “average” family life… it was more the exception than the rule. There is more disfunction and disconnection out there than I could have ever imagined… more families that do not stay connected, more siblings that don’t communicate with each other… more folks that haven’t talked to their parents or their own kids, in years… unbelievably sad… and totally un-necessary. 

While I feel extremely fortunate, I was able to grow-up with a strong family connection and enjoyed spending time with my parents & sisters right up until they passed, it frustrates me deeply that there are so many that let stubborn pride or old grudges that they won’t let go of, stand in the way of them being able to enjoy being part of their own families.

From my perspective, based on all I have learned & experienced over the years, is that there are really only a couple reasons we work hard and try to excel in our jobs or careers, or get to the next levels in business or life (besides making money), when you strip it all down the basics of why we do it, it’s either:

A.    We are doing it strictly for ourselves, for our own selfish reasons, maybe we think that money is the be-all/end-all, or maybe we don’t have a family, maybe we are completely alone in this world?... (possible, yes… common, no) 

B.    We do it to provide the best life possible for our families, or maybe to impress someone within our family, or to make someone we love proud of us (and that’s perfectly OK) ... but it really is about family.

So, whether we work hard for ourselves, or for our families, or maybe just because we have an inner “calling” to push harder and achieve for a greater good?...

Don’t let past differences get in the way of relationships with members of your family, don’t hold on to past hurts…

Learn to forgive…

Learn to let go…

Don’t be afraid to re-connect…

Don’t be afraid to make the first move towards reconciliation… (someone may be dying for you to make the first move, because they are not brave enough to?)

When it comes right down to it, would you want someone in your family to pass away thinking you didn’t love them… didn’t care… that they didn’t matter to you?

Don’t wait on this… you may not have much time left to do so?

We don’t know how many days we have left; we should make them count! 

We need to stop waiting to START or STOP doing those things that we REALLY want to… why not start enjoying what we want in life NOW, don’t keep putting it off?

Don’t wait until it’s too late…

Do it now, while you still can…

While you can still make a difference…

I promise, you won’t be sorry!

 Rick Selover Founder & Host of The Mind Wrench Podcast