Do you know where you are going in life?

Do you have your destination all mapped out?

Converting your personal baggage into essential luggage makes for an interesting discussion with Donna Tashjian from Vibrant Living in today’s episode!

Welcome, Donna, I'm so excited to have you with us today. And before we get into this quite deep topic, let's hear a little bit about you first.

(Donna) Sure. Well, my name is Donna Tashjian. So sometimes my last name is a little bit difficult for people when they first look at it. I am the CEO and founder of Vibrant Living International, helping people live to their fullest potential, leaving the pain and disappointment of life behind. And so as far as that goes, is what I do, for my vocation. For things I love the most, I'm a mother of three married kids, and then I have eight grandchildren. So, I have two puppy dogs. So those are the things that you know, you really love too, and they're special to me.

(Dar) Yes, we have that in common. I have nine grandchildren and two adult married children. And leaving the pain and disappointment behind you! You have such a beautiful name of your business,” Vibrant Living”, Would you like to talk a little bit about vibrant living? And I know that, that there had to be turning points and pain and disappointment in your own life to come to this point of vibrant living?

(Donna) Yes, there definitely was. And, and when we have lived a little while there's a lot of them... there can be a lot of them.

My growing up really started when at the age of 15, I became a mother. And it...without getting into the nitty gritty of that particular story. It wasn't consensual, and so, but I became a mother at the age of 15. And I raised my daughter. And so, to talk about and dig into how hard those years were, I still haven't found enough adjectives to describe it. There just isn't. So that was the beginning of me growing up really fast. 

It's one of those things, I feel like I've always been a mom. And so that's not a bad thing. But at that age, it's a hard thing. And so learning how to begin to rise above pain and things that have occurred in my life, have been something that's almost been my whole life. And so, learning to do all of that, and I was always the girl, that people were coming to you and telling their problems. And they'd say things like, I can't believe I'm telling you this. I was always that girl. And it was something I was drawn to and loved. And everything I ever did. As I was raising my kids had a component where I was we would have called it mentoring then.

And about 10 years ago, I took a job at a nonprofit organization that I thought would be the avenue that I would get to do that passion place in my heart. My kids are grown. It's like what do I want to do now that I'm grown up? And I began to work at this nonprofit. And have you ever put all your hopes and dreams in one basket and then that basket the eggs get broken? Well, it was one of those kinds of situations. And it worked well for a while. But management changed and I was let go. And it was one of those days where you remember what you were wearing. You remember the date, the time, the weather, it all it's like it just is ingrained. It was one of those days. It was March 31. And in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I live, it was that the sleet couldn't decide if it wanted spring rain or still sleet, rain. And so, it was doing that and it was sideways. It was blowing sideways. And it matched my face as I left.

And through that growth of what do I want to really do, vibrant living was born. And one of the things that I say is that was the worst day, the best day because what I'm doing today would have never been possible there. And learning that things that happen in our life. That hurt and cause I call it out!

To turn our baggage into luggage, so that we can actually create the life we've dreamed. And to do it with confidence and ease at the same time. So, one of the things I call that is building our understanding muscle or superpower, it's building that no matter what happens, I can become better there can be a gift wrapped in this. I call it a gift wrapped in sandpaper.

It's hard, it sometimes rubs us the wrong way. But we can still learn and grow. What are your thoughts about that?

(Dar) Oh, you're, as you were telling your story. I'm just so grateful that you told your story for one thing, let me get that off my chest.

Your story was just so moving. And I love the “understanding muscle''. That is what is getting developed from all of these challenges, because I talked about my life being a series of valleys and peaks. And after the valleys came these huge peaks, but you only know in hindsight, that you are going to reach those higher points. And so yes, I have had gifts wrapped in sandpaper, and I'm sure many of our listeners are identifying with you and gifts wrapped in sandpaper as well. And you describe so well how the moment almost stands still in time. Yes. And it can be your worst and your best.

We talked a little bit more about how you mentor. I know you use the word mentor that people would use coach now to you back then

(Donna) yes, I'm a Life Mastery coach. And so how I how I work with people, yes, and the and how you're how you're having separation between like you used to everybody used to come to you.

(Dar) And now you've kind of come into your own and have become this coach for others instead of the mentor. So yeah, how would you differentiate how that came to be?

(Donna) Well, as I said, mentoring people was simply what we were calling it. And when I lost that job, and through that process, I was like, this is what I love to do. How do I do it better. So, I went back to school and got my coaching certifications, actually, I have three of them currently. And other certifications that I've continued my education in that area. So how to do what I was naturally gifted at is even better. And when I talk about turning our baggage into luggage, when these circumstances happen to us, for example, baggage thinking is why this happened that why word...That is why words can get us really stuck. And then it's not fair. It's not right. It's not just even perhaps revenge or they need to pay feelings. All of that is baggage thinking that we drag stuff around with us. Luggage thinking if I was to do live, to show the difference between the two is my luggage thinking I can't change it. I can't change the past, but I am going to use it to grow and become the best me I can be. And so, learning that in what I do is I coach people in groups, online, as well as one on one coaching and helping them turn the pain of the past into something they can utilize and actually launch them into the life they've always dreamed.

(Dar) I love that analogy. That baggage being you know the why and the victimhood thinking, absolutely. And then when you talked about luggage, I thought more of going through the airport with a small bag on wheels and getting to travel and grow and go to my destination. I'm going somewhere. Yes, I love that. I'm going! Where now and people who need help with that can come to you. It sounds like with both a group and a one on one, which is a beautiful option to have. But oh, what a nice analogy. Could you share? I know we have client confidentiality, but could you share maybe a client session or series of sessions a transformation that perhaps a client went through of yours?

(Donna) Sure. I'll call her Sue. As for confidentiality, I'll call her Sue and Sue had a difficult childhood. It is funny how people who've had a difficult childhood don't usually call it traumatic themselves. But if somebody else is looking at it, they might call it traumatic. But she always felt like she wasn't good enough. There was just difficulty with some of her parents' situations. And when we began to work together, she was suffering a lot from anxiety and depression, seeing psychiatrists taking medication, but just wasn't getting better. And she just continued to do this spiral, where things would just throw her off.  She felt like life was hopeless, meaning that there just wasn't much to look forward to. It's just like the same year, every year over and over and over again, with not really knowing how anything can ever get better. This is just my life. I'm stuck with this kind of feeling and Sue, that's where Sue was when we began to meet together. And as Sue and I have worked together, let me tell you about her today. She has no anxiety or depression anymore. They're not even an issue. And that's not supposed to be possible, is it?

People aren't supposed to be able to, that's a lifelong thing at least that's what medical science generally tells us. And it's not an issue anymore. She occasionally gets anxious but it's manageable. It's not nothing like the spirals, she has hope for the future she's creating the life that she would actually love. One of my other programs is called “Life by Design and not by Default”, how often we just let life happen to us instead of actually creating the life we love. And I recently interviewed her on video she's on my website as in the testimonial page you can hear her in her own words, but I asked her so what would you tell somebody who felt like you did and whether they should have a conversation with me and she said “run don't walk “call her and get it scheduled because it will never be the same again. That's just one story of the hundreds and hundreds of women that I work with changing lives one life at a time.

(Dar) Absolutely... As you're talking about that, I love your sign behind you that people can't see because we're on audio says “vibrant living” and it was just like that sign began to become neon in my eyes. It was like yes, that's an example. Yes, yes. That's an example of vibrant living. And the stress and anxiety and depression we are seeing so many of those clients now since COVID. And the isolation and everything that was part of that has been a trigger for many and we don't want them to suffer alone. We want them to reach out and as your client said, “run don't walk “and get that help you need because you don't have to be like that old movie Groundhog Day where he keeps living the same thing over and over and over again.

(Donna) People don't have to live that way. That's right, they do not.

(Dar) Do you have some other thoughts that you'd like to share about vibrant living? Oh, and I love that title. Let me just put in an aside. I love that title “life by design not default.” But do you have some other thoughts you'd like to add?

(Donna) The main thing that I would like to share today is realizing the first thing is, where I am I call it “Where am I on my map”? Where, where am I in my life right now, when to be super honest with ourselves. When we are used to living that same day over and over again, we get numb, we don't really look at where we are, and say, do I really want this? Do I want it to be like this for the rest of my life?  And then once we're honest with ourselves, begin to take some type of action, to be able to make a difference, a baby step, a phone call with me, somebody else making some kind of step forward, so that you can change your momentum. And about taking a step I tell a story. It's not a true story, but it illustrates something if I may share it.

(Dar)Yes, please.

(Donna) Okay. So imagine that I was out for a walk, and I'm walking in a new neighborhood that I haven't been before. And it's a beautiful fall day. And the sun is shining, and it's got a crispness to the air. And you can just almost smell apple cider. It's one of those days. And as I'm walking, I passed by this house and on the porch into rocking chairs as an elderly couple, the wife's crocheting, and the husband's reading the paper, and in between them laid a dog. Now you know, I like dogs and so do, you. But I noticed what I noticed about the dog is that he was moaning like he was hurting. And I won't try to make that sound, but you can get the picture. And so, I noticed the dog, I kept walking, and on my way past, I passed the dog at the house again, and the dog was still howling, kind of moaning there. So I paused and said, “excuse me, What's matter with your dog?”” I don't mean to interrupt, but what's going on?” And the woman said, “He's fine”. I'm like, “Well, why is he moaning and crying?” She said, “he's laying on a nail. I'm like,” why is he laying on a nail”? She said,” because it hurts enough to complain, but not enough to get up and move.”  And that is how we are in our lives. Sometimes we complain that everything's the same. We complain about things that have happened. But we don't do anything to get “off our nail”. It could be big nails, and little nails and all different sizes and things that have happened to us. But take action, take some type of action to get better to cause it doesn't I promise you; it doesn't have to stay the same.

(Dar) That was such a juicy story. So good. No good. Good after a nail. So how can our audience take a small step today to get off that nail?

(Donna) Well, having a conversation with me would be a great start. It's absolutely free. And to and we'll put the link in the show notes for you to be able to I'm sure we will, yes, we will, we will to be able to schedule a consultation and find out what's possible. If the resources I have are not the right fit, I'll help you find the ones that are just take a step and talk to me or talk to someone and you don't have it can be so much better.

(Dar) I'd like to add to that to everyone that I've been on her website. And it is a wealth of information. If you want to talk a little bit about what they'll find there?

(Donna) Sure. And on my main page, I also have a free gift that's available. And it is an E book that I have written called an “Umbrella on a Sunny Day.” And where that title came from is that we always... when we've had some type of painful past, we have a tendency to be waiting for the other shoe to drop even when the sun is shining. So even when it's a beautiful day, we're looking for the rain cloud expecting the worst to happen at any moment. And so, this book is my personal story I shared with you about my teenage pregnancy. It goes a little bit more into detail and some other stories and some tips. Some strategies, and then there's a bunch of testimonials of other women and what they have done because they're inspirational. They give us hope of what is possible. And that free book is available as well.

(Dar) Well, as soon as we get done here, I'm going to download it, I did see it was on your website. But now that I know all the meaty stuff ...I'm certainly going to download it, and I hope our listeners will too. I’ve just really enjoyed our time together data and There are so many things that people can take away right now today. Is there anything else you'd like them to know?

(Donna) There is so much that I could say. But the main thing that I want you to take away is that your past, whatever that is, whatever that thing is, doesn't have to define your future. Your past doesn't have to define your future with a qualifier unless you let it

So, let's use the pain of the past whatever that might have been for you to be able to be better and stronger and more confident in your life.

(Dar)Thank you so very much for this treasure of our time together today. I just am so appreciative.

(Donna) Thank you for allowing me to be here Darla. It's my pleasure.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai