Because I Promised
Because I Promised
The Difference Between Hearing And Listening
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In Episode 37 Curtis and Dinah discuss the importance of not just hearing your spouse but how to listen to them as well.
What's going down, people? Thank you so much for joining us on this edition of Because I Promised the show where we talk all things marriage, family, and everything in between from a Christian perspective.
SPEAKER_02We are still the Wilsons, and we feel that traditional marriage in our society today has been dealt a black eye and is no longer a sexy concept. And we want to do everything we can to help heal, restore, and enhance as many marriages and families as possible.
SPEAKER_00So let's get it, baby girl. What's going down?
SPEAKER_02Hey there, man. How you doing?
SPEAKER_00Uh I'm okay today. I'm a little uh everybody please forgive me if I sound a little nasally today. I have some sinus issues going on today.
SPEAKER_02Nasally?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's not the rona. I wouldn't got checked out, I went and got checked out. So it's not the rona, but I I have a little uh uh what's it sinus issue going on. So uh like I said, if I sound a little off today, please forgive me, but that's not gonna stop us from doing what we gotta do. A little stuffy, yeah, but we got work to do. So hey, man, that's not gonna stop anything.
SPEAKER_02All right.
SPEAKER_00Hey, you want to tell the people where we can be reached?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'll know where we can be reached. We still can be reached in Facebook because I promise. That's the letter B. I is the middle name. I'm sorry, cuz is the middle name. I promised is the last name. Hit us up. We're still looking to hear from you guys. We'd love to uh conversate or get topic ideas from you, chat it up. We have a topic today from somebody in the Facebook and we also can be reached at our fancy email, spelled just as it sounds, because I promised 101 at outlook.com. And y'all know we Googlable. We can be reached at our website because dash i dash promise dot com.com.com absolutely, yeah.
SPEAKER_00We can also uh check us out on Apple Podcasts. Remember, Apple Users, the podcast feature must be on in your Apple settings. We can also be found on Google Podcasts. Remember, you must download the Google Podcast app. We can be also found on Spotify at Because I Promised, or just check us out on our um what is it called again? Our email. Yeah, website. I almost called it an email. Yeah, you did. Our fancier website. Yeah, and like she said, at because dash i dash promise dot com. Oh, you know what we forgot to do? What? We forgot to thank the people.
SPEAKER_02Oh, for yeah. It's been too long. Man, it's been too long. Man, those hiatus that hiatus in the middle of that summer reset. Man, we got it reset. No.
SPEAKER_00Once we do, we really want to thank you guys. We so appreciate the support, the the good, the bad, the indifferent, the you know, constructive criticism. Yeah, we don't know. We won't grow. Absolutely, absolutely. But man, do we have a show for you guys today? Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02Wanna do the title? You want me to do the title? Yeah, knock it out. All right. This is from a suggestion from one of our dear friends who we love dearly, and her suggestion was to do a topic on listening. She said it should be titled, Are You Listening or Only Hearing? And we were like, ooh. So we had to look up some definitions on listening and hearing. But here's her question. She said, I want you and Pastor Curtis. I have nothing to say. He hates that.
SPEAKER_01He doesn't hate it, but he's like, oh Lord.
SPEAKER_02Okay, but this is what she said, so I have to read it as she said it. I want you and Pastor Curtis to do a session. Yes, I do. I have to read the Pastor Curtis, Pastor Curtis. I have to read it. I want you and Pastor Curtis. Okay.
SPEAKER_00One more time in the closet is yours today.
SPEAKER_02I want you and Pastor Curtis to do a session on hearing, but are we listening to our spouse? Or I hear you, but do I really hear you?
SPEAKER_00Really.
SPEAKER_02Or hearing versus listening. And then she goes on to say, hearing is allowing you to speak into my ear gate, but not really appreciating what you're saying. She said, listening, on the other hand, is hearing with diligence and respecting what you're saying and everything else that goes into that. She says, I'm just saying, I would love to hear you both tackle that. So here we go.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. We're not playing around with you guys. When we say, send us topics that you want to hear about, or or even if it's something that we've done before, you know, we might say, hey, go check this one out just in case you missed it. But if we can go a little bit more in depth or take a deeper dive into a subject, we are all for it. You know, because we actually want to deal with the things that you guys are dealing with. Dealing with. Absolutely. So we don't know it. Yeah. We know what we know. Yeah, you know, we're doing our best to hear from the Lord, but it really does help when we get topics from you guys that you really want to deeper dive into. And it it helps us out because it stretches us and makes us have to depend on the Lord just that much more to really try to get in there and answer these questions. So we are really excited about um this topic right here.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. So hearing. Are we going into definitions? Hearing versus listening. Hearing, the faculty or ability to perceive sound. Listening. Give one's attention to a sound to take heed. Whoa. What happened? It jumped all the way down there. These notes, I tell you, technology today, it is not always your friend in these situations. To take heed means to pay close or special attention to.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so since we had that little technical snafu, do those uh the three definitions again.
SPEAKER_02Okay, hearing, uh-huh, the faculty or ability to perceive sound, listening to give one's attention to a sound. Take heed, pay close or special attention to.
SPEAKER_00This is so important because you know, when uh you're somewhere, let's just say, for instance, you're a church.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Everybody hears the words, unless somebody is, you know, deaf or you know, hearing impaired or whatever, everybody's hearing the same words. Right. But not everybody listens the same. We're in different places in our walks with Christ. Um some people are playing cut pong on their phones. Man, whoever's doing that, they need to knock that off while the word of God is going forth. But I digress anyway. Um, you know, so just because you're all hearing the same words does not mean that you're all are are listening the same way. Like I said, if you were to talk to uh let's just say a three-year-old about calculus, right? I don't know, I'm just throwing something out there, right?
SPEAKER_02Okay, I'm I'm trying to follow you. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_00You know what? Let's just say um let's just say you, but they would not understand. Yeah, multiplication or division. Let's just say that. Okay, okay. They can hear the words, right? But they can't retain what you just said, right? Right, no understanding. Versus someone who understands multiplication or division. I'm not saying that was the greatest example, but I am following you, sir.
SPEAKER_02Let's go.
SPEAKER_00But my point is we can all hear the same words, but we don't all listen to the same because we're at different places in our walk with Christ. And it's amazing to me how the word of God is just eternal in the sense that something that I couldn't hear today, a year ago, I may read that same exact scripture, right? And all of a sudden it's gonna have a a totally different meaning to me.
SPEAKER_02A babe in Christ, being mature in Christ, hearing the word, same word. I I'm following you.
SPEAKER_00Right. And then when it gets when it says to hearken unto, you know, which means to pay close attention to it. So one you give attention to, you're able to retain it, you know, understand it, and the other you pay close attention to. And I think we really need to understand these three aspects of hearing so that we can learn to hear properly. And listen properly. And listen properly, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02So other ways of talking is through your conversation of life, right? That's a way of talking, communication, body language that speaks volumes. Okay, right? Absolutely. If you have a couple who, let's say, has uh what do you say, draw lines in the sand and they're holding firm to their positions and as a result in those positions in their body language or in their conversation of life, you can clearly see that neither one is willing to hear or can't even hear the other. You know, there's there's situations like that that need um what do you say, the ability to take a moment and pause and reset and listen. Listen, somebody has to take the position of listening.
SPEAKER_00What you're talking about is so important because so often when we're dealing with couples, um a lot people like to say, for instance, or people think that um money is probably the biggest thing that people separate and divorce over. But I I don't hold that position. You know, I know it's a big one, right? But one of the things that I really believe is a biggie is one or both don't feel that they are heard, respected, or loved by the other person.
SPEAKER_02And a lot of times what happens is that Oh, oh, being heard is associated with being loved. Or you know, some of us understand that way. Some people, I said us, I'm confessing. Well, no, that I mean we're not excluded. We're not expected.
SPEAKER_01Being heard is associated with being loved. You love me when you hear what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00Well, hear well, you have to be careful because hearing can sometimes be associated as agreeing with. Right. And when you're really talking hearing, hear, hearing, hear, when you're really talking about hearing right now, it's more hearing my heart. Right. Hearing and and and meeting the needs of my heart. Meaning this, we may not always agree upon everything, right? But you work at being kind, you work at being patient, you work at being loving, you know, and those things go so far, you know, the love chapter.
SPEAKER_02Get my side that I'm trying to express right, you're you're trying to understand it and you're trying to see it. You're you putting yourself in my position, even if my position is wrong, you putting yourself there and then trying to not defend your way like you're wrong, here's my way, my way is right, but I see where you are, I see what's going on, I feel what you're saying. However, honey, right?
SPEAKER_00Because you don't baby, you don't have a desire to dominate, you don't have a desire to win the argument, you're not looking for any of those type of things. And unfortunately, a lot of times where I was going earlier was that when we're dealing with couples, um you a lot of times both couples they'll sit there and have a full-on argument, and nobody's hearing each other because what they're saying is, you don't hear me, you're not listening to me, you're doing this and you're doing that, and both of them are screaming at the top of their lungs, or neither one of them are you know are erasing the the line in the sand and saying, Okay, hold on. Right, let me try to hear what you're saying. Exactly. You know, and so listening requires humility. Right, it truly does. And so what we start to realize is is is like what Dinah just said is that in order to truly hear somebody or listen to them, even though you're hearing the words, in order to listen to them, you must have humility. And that's a tough thing to to have sometimes because it it it does. Especially if you're angry or you're frustrated, it's not a natural thing. Our our natural disposition is to protect ourselves, is to uh yeah, get our point across. That comes a lot more natural than it does to you know feel like you're a door matter, feel like you're not being heard. And you and the reality is in some cases, let's be honest, people are not being heard. Right.
SPEAKER_02You have some cases where You're listening defensively or you're hearing defensively.
SPEAKER_00Yes, you're not listening, which is so important because depending on, and and and that's you're bringing up an excellent point because you hear with you listen with your heart, you take heed with your heart. If you are in a place where your heart is like it it's about defending itself or protecting itself, you know, you cannot listen or hear properly. Right. You're only hearing and listening through that lens. So anything that's said to you is said as an attack.
SPEAKER_02And the minute it feels like an attack, you either lash out or you um We've had a couple of those conversations and you've hosted, you've learned to start the conversation like this. Are you listening or are you just trying to hear me so you can get your ducks in a row? I don't want to talk to you if you're not listening. Don't just don't just listen to what I'm saying and then go quiet and be like, okay, I want to hear your side too. And that's a beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry I take you through that. It sounds so bad now that I'm saying it out loud, out of my mouth.
SPEAKER_00No, but you know, sorry, babe. But I'm not gonna just leave you out there because a lot of you know, when there are times, you know, in 27 years you're gonna have those issues there. Right. When there are times I felt I wasn't being heard, my natural defense is to get quiet. Early on in my you know, early on in our relationship, that was not the case, that was not the case. Yeah, I would Lord, you would hear about it.
SPEAKER_02Oh, would you hear?
SPEAKER_00Long time.
SPEAKER_02Oh, would you hear, Lord.
SPEAKER_00But over time it would it it moved to being more quiet, kind of like if I don't have anything cool to say, I'm just not gonna say it at all. Which those are bad times. I don't like those times. Which was which was very loud as well.
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And and this is such a key point here, too, because if the other person is not paying attention, let's just say Dinah's not paying attention to my body language and not listening to it, I could sit over there and just and just stay there. Stewing. And a lot of times that's what happens in these situations with people, they're there for a long time. And then all of a sudden, thinking he alright, he got over it, he good.
SPEAKER_01He'll be all right, or he'll be alright, right?
SPEAKER_00He'll be all right, you know, he'll get over it, and then all of a sudden, something'll happen. There'll be infidelity, there'll be a breakup, there'll be separation, there'll be something happen, but I'm just gonna blow up so big because you've been stewing for so long. It can start small, but those things are those things are like snowballs, um, uh, you know, balls that pick up Avalanching, right? They pick up more um um steam as they go if you if you don't address those things, and then all of a sudden you get to this more steam and more stuff. This this place and the person, you come home and they're gone, and you're like, what happened? Right, and you don't even realize you didn't listen.
SPEAKER_02Missed the body language, you missed it, you know.
SPEAKER_00Now, reality, like we were saying earlier, there are people who are not doing right. You there are you have some spouses who are selfish and um mean and you know, all of these other things, and that's a different topic for a different time. But for this topic right here, our goal is to help you guys to learn to listen to what hear and listen and take heed to what your spouse is saying and what they are not saying.
SPEAKER_02That person is genuine, generally always communicating either by their response to what you're saying or what you're doing, or in their lack of response, like what you just said.
SPEAKER_00The Lord says to seek peace with all that's within you, and that needs to be our goal. And in order to do that, your heart has to be, especially for the believer, and just in case there's anybody on this listening to this episode that's not a believer, give it to you. Let me tell you something. The God of heaven gave you a free gift, it's called a free gift of salvation.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00What that means is that you don't have to go to hell. All right, just like when you leave this earth. Sin has to be paid for. And everybody knows, we all know that nobody on this earth is perfect. But God is perfect. We all have uh sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and guess what? God doesn't want us to be separated from him for eternity. You don't have to worry about where you go when you leave this earth when you know the Lord. All you have to do is confess your sin, say, Lord, please forgive me of my sin. Take that, ask him to come into your life, and ask the Lord to be your Lord and Savior so you can ask for forgiveness of your sins and to come into your life, and you shall be saved from eternal separation from the Father. Such a free gift that's there for everyone because Jesus Christ died on the cross for you and for me. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, doesn't matter who you've been in the past, salvation is at hand today if you are in earshot of this podcast.
SPEAKER_03Amen.
SPEAKER_00So we would exhort you to give your life to Christ, have a life where you are walking with him on the daily, and when you leave this earth, guess what? You get to be with him for eternity. Today is the day of salvation. Get that straightened out.
SPEAKER_03Get you some of that.
SPEAKER_00Right. So, anyway, like we always like to say, nothing matters more than what the word of God has to say on this issue. So we're gonna get into some scripture.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely, but not before prayer. You better pray. You better bless this word.
SPEAKER_00Yes, ma'am. Father God, we thank you, we praise you, we love you, and we lift up your holy name. We recognize that there is no name that is comparable to yours. We pray that as we read your word, amen, that something is said that will prick the heart of a couple out there or somebody out there who is struggling. Lord, we pray that you would bless this podcast for us and for those who are hearing. Father, please let this get to someone who really needs it in Jesus' name. Amen.
SPEAKER_02Amen. All right. Our first scripture is going to be taken out of the Old Testament. You guys, I'm still in the New King James Version. I will be in the book of Numbers. We're going to chapter 20, and we're going to read verses 1 through 12. It says, Then the children of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the wilderness of Zen in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh, and Miriam died there and was buried there. Now there was no water for the congregation. So they gathered together against Moses and Aaron. And the people contended with Moses, and they spoke, saying, If only we had to do it. And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is not a place of grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, nor is there any water to drink. They were hot when Moses and Aaron.
unknownAll right.
SPEAKER_02So Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the door of the tabernacle of meeting, and they fell on their faces, and the glory of the Lord appeared to them. Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, Take the rod, you and your brother Aaron, gather the congregation together. Speak to the rock.
SPEAKER_00Say that little part one more. No, no, no. That whole little part.
SPEAKER_02Take the rod, you and your brother Aaron gather the congregation together.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02Speak to the rock.
SPEAKER_00Speak to the rock and what one more time?
SPEAKER_02Speaketh to it the rockets.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02Before their eyes, speak to the rock before their eyes, and it will yield its water. Thus you shall bring water for them out of the rock and give drink to the congregation and their animals. I can hear God saying it like that too, and the animals. So Moses took the rod from before the Lord as he commanded him. And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, Hear now, you rebels, must we bring water for you out of this rock? I'm whole perceiving that Moses was a little upset. Oh he was hot. Because in verse 11, then Moses lifted his hand and he struck the rock. He struck that rock. He struck the rock twice. What did God tell him to do? He told him to speak to the rock. What did he do? He struck that rock twice.
SPEAKER_00Come on.
SPEAKER_02And water came out abundantly. And the congregation and their animals drank. Then the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, and this is what he said. Because you did not believe me, my Lord, to hallow me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them.
SPEAKER_00Lord have mercy.
SPEAKER_02That's what he said.
SPEAKER_00There's several lessons here. Um Boom.
SPEAKER_02You shall not bring that.
SPEAKER_00Just This is just me talking, and I've always thought that God was a little tough on this one. It's harsh. I mean, with all that Moses had done um in listening to God and everything, I always thought that that was.
SPEAKER_02I I get them jumbled sometimes. But did it go on to say, yes, that you didn't give uh your word, you didn't give my I said to speak to the rock, and you didn't give that opportunity for me to be hallowed before the people. You know, just speaking to because if if he just said water cometh forth and it came forth, they would have been like, Oh, that's all God.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02But to hit the rock, you could have cracked something, you you could have broke something, you know what I mean? You had something to do with that, not just only God, and God spoke to them about that when he talked to Aaron and Moses afterwards.
SPEAKER_00Well, there's some other in addition to what you're saying, and those are very great points, um, some of the other things that we have to look at that we can take and apply to our marriages when it comes to listening and hearing now. I do get it. Some of these scriptures that we're going to listen hear today um probably lend more towards obedience.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00They do.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00But hearing and listening is also a key part to obedience as well. Okay. And so even when you look at this situation, God gave direct and you know, uh instruction. He gave clear instruction. That's a better way of phrasing that. He said, get the rod, go before the people, and you and Aaron, and speak to the rock. Right. And you have to remember, Aaron and Mo, Moses and Aaron went to the Lord because of where the people were. Right. And so they came in humility towards the Lord, Lord, please help us with these people that you have sent to us. But one of the things that can keep us from hearing our spouse and doing something that can be costly, like what happened here with Moses and not being able to bring the people in is anger. God says, be angry and not sin. Sin not. And God, you know, and God, when you read his word, you you start to realize there's not a lot of things that, like, for instance, Jesus would get angry about. Jesus didn't get angry about personal attack. Right. He got angry about attack on the the things of God. Right. And so here, a lot of times what we can, you know, what we can gather for for our relationships is we get so angry when we feel that we have been personally attacked. And then once we're personally attacked, what happens is that as we get angry, we can't hear from God as well.
SPEAKER_02When you personally cut me off on the freeway.
SPEAKER_00My Lord. Yeah, you mean the whole Jesus and nothing but the Jesus, huh? I do. But wait a minute, but wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you but hold on, hold on. I think you're just on something.
SPEAKER_01You can be on the rush to birth your baby or you're just gonna let me forget this point.
SPEAKER_00No, no, you're just gonna do it again, huh?
SPEAKER_02Woman, be silent.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Do you guys see what I have to deal with? Did you say purposely cut me off? Uh-huh. That is so important. Because even in that example right there, now mind you, you don't, and this is something that happens to us in our relationships. Like Dinah was just giving an example about being cut off. How do you know it was purposeful?
SPEAKER_02How I was right there. You saw me. How do you know they saw you? They saw me.
SPEAKER_00How do you know?
SPEAKER_02Because I was in the way.
SPEAKER_00Yes, but how do you know they weren't how do you know they weren't looking down at the Okay, let me ask you. Shame on them. Shame on them. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Okay. How do you know that they weren't in an argument with their spouse, had just got some bad news about uh a loved one, or going through some tough time and their mind was on something else. How do you know that they purposely cut you off?
SPEAKER_02Whether either of those things were going on when they had to get into my lane and they saw me right there.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02And they decided to come over anyway.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02Mm-mm.
SPEAKER_00Okay. So then let me ask you this question.
SPEAKER_02Forcing me to break?
SPEAKER_00Okay. Oh, forcing me to break. So let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. If you had pre- if you had knowledge to know that they had just been going through a tough time and their mind was preoccupied with something, or they were their mind was preoccupied on a uh important test that was, you know, going to get them a better job or something. If you were privy to some type of information that gave you any insight or understanding of what they were going through, would you have the same They may, would they get a pass. But answer the question.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead, be blessed by God on the way to the world. If you had the knowledge to know the baby or get that interview, God bless you. If you had knowledge of knowing why they may get a pass.
SPEAKER_00They may, huh?
SPEAKER_02They may get a pass.
SPEAKER_00But, and you know me, you know, we're we we try to be as transparent as we can on this show. Because the mind says, oh, they purposely did this or they purposely did that, guess what it does, people? It justifies to us.
SPEAKER_02We're joshing, but there are times when I feel like that. Most times I will say, I do, because it's a place where the adversary tends to get me regularly. Most times I try to breathe it out and say, Lord, thank you for letting it not be, you know, an accident here. Father bless them, keep them safe. Don't, you know, what whatever their situation is. There are those times when I can go there, but if I'm gonna be honest, the most I'm trying to do the 70-30, 60-40. I don't know. No, there are those types because it's so quick, it happens so quick. Okay, to honestly say quickly, most times I get really ticked off, and then I gotta find my way to prayer. Right. Immediately it's uh but then I have to remind myself, calm down. I have to wooza.
SPEAKER_00That's a part of human I believe that that's a part of the human condition, though, because even right here even right here, honestly, Moses, in my opinion, had right and reason to be upset with the people because God had parted the Red Sea. And because God had saved them from the children of Israel, and because God had, you know, fed, you know, led them by the cloud, you know, the cloud and the fire. You know, God had done so much and they still were in a place of complaining. Yeah, man. And so for them to, you know, his anger, in my opinion, and who am I, but my opinion, was justified. But the the the the goal here, the not the goal, but the lesson here is anger keeps you from hearing. Anger has so many other things that it can do. Like, for instance, with the example that Dinah just gave, when she said they purposely cut me off.
SPEAKER_02You can keep saying that. I'm gonna keep saying it. Mm-mm. You don't have to get defensive with our we all family here.
SPEAKER_00But I just think it's a great example. It was a great example. But we don't really know. And so when we're in our when when we're at home or we're in a situation with our spouses and we're we're going through it and we're angry with each other, and guess what we're saying? You purposely adore it. Not on purpose. She didn't. She did that on purpose. She doesn't care. And next thing you know, you cannot hear God. You cannot hear God. Look at you. Let's go to the next one.
SPEAKER_02Teaching on my errors and follies.
SPEAKER_00Hey, you put it out there. I did.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Next scripture, guys. I'm gonna be quiet from now on. I'm just reading scripture. Come on. Samuel, Samuel chapter 15, verses 1 through 33.
SPEAKER_02It says, Samuel also said to Saul, The Lord sent me to anoint you king over his people, over Israel. Now therefore, heed the voice of the words of the Lord. Thus says the Lord of hosts, I will punish Amalek for what he did to Israel, how he ambushed him on the way when he came up from Egypt. Now go and attack Amalek and utterly destroy all that they have, and do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, infant and nursing child.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna have you to read that one little part again what God told him to do.
SPEAKER_02Man. He said, Now go and attack Amalek and utterly destroy all that they have. Utterly. Utterly. And do not spare them, but kill both man and woman and woman. Infant and nursing child. Infant and nursing child. Ox and sheep. All the animals. Camel and donkey. So Saul gathered the people together and numbered them in Telam, two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand men of Judah. And Saul came to the city of Amalek and lay in wait in the valley. Then Saul said to the Kenites, Go depart, get down from among the Amalekites, lest I destroy you with them. For you showed kindness to all the children of Israel when they came out up out of Egypt. So the Kenites departed from among the Amalekites. And Saul attacked the Amalekites from Havilah all the way to Shore, which is east of Egypt. He also took Agag, King of the Amalekites, alive and utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword. But Saul and people spared Agag and the best of the sheep, the oxen, the fatlings, the lambs, and all that was good, and were unwilling to utterly destroy them.
SPEAKER_00He spared them, huh?
SPEAKER_02Okay. But everything despised and worthless that they utterly destroyed. Now the word of the Lord came to Samuel, saying, Greatly oh the word of the Lord came to Samuel saying, I greatly regret that I have set up Saul as king. For he the I can see the Lord pinching his upper nose, you know, between your eyes and his head is bowed down. It's like, I regret that I have set Saul as king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments. And it grieved Samuel, and he cried out to the Lord all night. So when Samuel rose early in the morning to meet Saul, it was told Samuel, saying, Saul went to Carmel, and in indeed he set up a monument for himself, and he has gone on and around, passed by and gone down to Gilgal. Then Samuel went to Saul, and Saul said to him, Blessed are you of the Lord. I have performed the commandment. What did he say? He said, Hey, buddy. Guess what? I obeyed the Lord. Blessed are you of the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord. But Samuel said, What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the oxen which I hear? And Saul said, See what had happened. Saul said, They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and the oxen to sacrifice to the to the to the Lord your God. And the rest we have utterly destroyed, though. Uh-huh. Then Samuel said to Saul, Be quiet, and I will tell you what the Lord said to me last night. And he said to him, Speak on. He was ready for it. He was like, Well, say what you're gonna say. Say it with your chest.
SPEAKER_01Say it with your chest. We can't make this stuff up, God. He said, Speak on.
SPEAKER_02So Samuel said, When you were little, in your own eyes, were you not hurt? Were you not head of the tribes of Israel? And did not the Lord anoint you king over Israel? Now the Lord sent you on a mission and said, Go and utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed. Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord? Why did you swoop down on the spoil and do evil in the sight of the Lord? Do evil. Evil in the sight of the Lord. You gotta say it with emphasis. Evil. And Saul said to Samuel, but I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. Did he not say I obeyed? That's what he said. I have obeyed the voice of the Lord and gone down and gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me and brought back Agag, king of the Amalek, king of say the word.
SPEAKER_00King of the Amalek Amalekites.
SPEAKER_02No, king of Amalek. Excuse me. King of Amalek. I have utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But the people took of the plunder, sheep and oxen, the best of the things which should have been utterly destroyed, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal. He's like, You're not listening to me. I'm explaining to you what had happened. I obeyed. I obeyed, and what we what we did was we took the best for sacrifice to your Lord. Come on now, we had to make a sacrifice. What part of this aren't you understanding, Samuel? So Samuel said, Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifice as in obeying the voice of the Lord? That's a cold one right there. Are the sacrifices more than you obeying his word? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. My Lord, because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he also has rejected you from being king. Boom. Then Saul said to Samuel, I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord. But Samuel said to Saul, Uh-uh, ain't going nowhere with you. No, he said, I will not return with you, for you have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you from being king over Israel. And as Samuel turned around to go, Saul seized the edge of his robe and tore it. Samuel looked down and looked back. So Samuel said to him, The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today, and has given it to a neighbor of yours who is better than you. Wow. And also the strength of Israel will not lie nor relent, for he is not a man that he should relent. Then he said, I have sinned, yet honor me now, please before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me that I may worship the Lord your God. So Samuel turned back after Saul, and Saul worshiped the Lord. Then Samuel said, Oh, this is it right here, guys. Then Samuel said, Bring Agag, king of the Amalekites, here to me. So Agag came to him cautiously, okay? Hey, hey, what's going on? You know, how you doing? You all right? You good? And Agag said, Agag said, Surely the bitterness of death is past, right? We We good, right? We good, right? That was then. This is now. We good, right? But Samuel said, As your sword has made women childless, so shall your mother be childless among women. And Samuel hacked, that's the word the Bible used. I am not making this up. He hacked Agag in pieces before the Lord in Gilgal.
SPEAKER_00First of all, you need to stop playing around and make us some money. Hacked. You know what's you talking about? Man, you um we're gonna talk to somebody about getting uh the Bible read by Dinah. See what it happened with us. Yeah, we need a version of the Bible where you played around with it. We played around with it. Once again, Samuel disobeyed. This is an issue of disobedience. But Samuel was given direct instructions. He said, utterly destroy everything.
SPEAKER_02He was cold with it too. I mean, the baby, the nursing side.
SPEAKER_00But see, God, he was serious. What we don't understand is because sometimes we'll tend to think that God is just being cruel and it's not the case. I mean, God is wiping out uh a mindset, a heart, a thought process, you know, uh the gods that they that they worship, you know, even the left. Even the animals, you know, you know, when you start to think about you start to think about all the foreign gods and the pagan worship and bestiality, bestiality, and all of these different types of things, and even with the children, that the children, you know, wipe them out as well, that the sons do not grow up and avenge their fathers. So God is saying, utterly wipe them out. Saul says in his heart, I'm gonna keep all the good things. Okay, what is the lesson here for us? The lesson here for us is when you you can't. Listen in part. Right. You can't hear in part. So often, and I find this with with with with people so often, and I I I really try to not do this because I I I I noticed that I used to do this and well uh do this as well is you only listen for key words, right? You know, you only hear in part, even though you're even though you're hearing all the words, your full attention is not towards what the person is saying, right? You know, and so you'll turn around and you'll you'll say, Well, I did what you asked me to do.
SPEAKER_02I I I utterly destroyed. But then I kept but you I kept but I kept it for sacrificial reasons. Come on now, we gotta do the sacrifice. But and but how does that relate to a marriage?
SPEAKER_00Oh gosh. That's where I'm trying to relate it to. Is what you're saying right there, how do you relate that to marriage? Or in conversation and listening and hearing or even in relationships with other people, it's so important that you hearken unto and that you pay close attention to what the person is saying. Let me tell you something, even like in our own um in our own scenarios and situations, right? Come on. Even you know, when we found ourselves in a in midst of a disagreement or argument or whatever was going on at that time, sometimes we're so busy thinking of our next response while the person is talking. While the person is talking, we're already, as they're talking, we're already coming up with our next response, you know, and that is a bad habit to have.
SPEAKER_02We have like two or three listed, and you're you'll still be talking. I'll be still trying to keep my because you know I forget easy. I mean like, don't forget one, two, three. One, two, three. I try to alphabetize them or say them in a snazzy way.
SPEAKER_01So how can you really hear what I'm saying? So how can a person really do that while you're talking, right?
SPEAKER_00And so what you're doing is you're just waiting for the person to finish what they're saying so that you can get to your next response. Boom, bam, back. And guess what? You never you don't end up hearing the person.
SPEAKER_02Or sometimes, okay, we're gonna be honest and transparent. Sometimes I can honestly hear you, but I want to keep my point. Like sometimes I could really hear you, and I go, gosh, I can really see how he he feels like that. And at that moment, and sometimes I have, I haven't mastered it, but I wish I could always give right there. Like, you know what, babe, you're right. But boy, I tell you, that old, that day, that old wife of yours, pause. Don't start throwing out words like pride and selfish. No, but you know what that means. Don't throw those words out.
SPEAKER_00That's a real talk because you know, there's been times where it's like, oh, she got me on that one. You don't you don't want to admit it, but you're like, oh, she she got me. No, she got me. You do it too. Yeah. But but really and truly, when you don't listen with your whole heart, right? You know, when you're not when you're not listening with your whole heart and you're not paying attention, you're missing what the person is saying. Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02Because our next scripture is gonna do the exact opposite, and you're gonna have even more to say. Watch. Ooh, my goodness. Oh, are you ready?
SPEAKER_00I guess I am now after you done ooh-ooh with me. Because it's good, it's good.
SPEAKER_02What you asking me, am I ready?
SPEAKER_00All right, just just listen to me anymore.
SPEAKER_02Be over there, be over there. All right. Go ahead. Okay, the next scripture is found in Genesis 22, 1 through 18. It says, This is an example of what to do, not what not to do. Okay. This is what to do and how the blessings, oh my God, the blessings were time. All right, here we go. Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham and said to him, Abraham, and he said, Here I am. Then he said, Take now your son, your only son Isaac. Okay? The only one. He got very specific. Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.
SPEAKER_00Boom. Just go burn him. This is just gonna sacrifice him, huh?
SPEAKER_02Listen, three. So Abraham rose up early in the morning and saddled his donkey and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and he split the wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. No question, no nothing. God he rose up early, no delay. Then on the third day Abraham lifted his eyes and saw the place afar off. And Abraham said to his young men, the two that he brought with him, he said, Stay here with the donkey, the lad and I will go yonder and worship, and we I love that right there, and we will come back to you. That's what Abraham had said. So Abraham took the wood and the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. Could you imagine Isaac? Dad.
SPEAKER_00I know.
SPEAKER_02Dad, what you doing? What what what what's going on here now? Hey, hey.
SPEAKER_00What hey, Pops. While he's being uh strapped down, while he's being tied up.
SPEAKER_02Pops, where'd Ram at Isaac his son, and took the fire in his hand and a knife, and the two of them went together. But Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, Father, my father, and he said, Here I am, my son. Then he said, Look, the fire and the wood. But um, where is the lamb for a burnt offering?
SPEAKER_00It's you, bro.
SPEAKER_02And Abraham said, My son, God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering. Oh my goodness. So the two of them went together. Then they came to a place of which God had told him. And Abraham built an altar there and placed the wood in order, and he bound his son Isaac and laid him on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Could you imagine? Could you imagine dad binding you? Would have been like bro, what you doing, man? Bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar upon the wood. And Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son, but God, come on now. But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, from the whole heaven, way, way up high, and said, Abraham, Abraham. He said, as he answered before, here I am. And he said, Don't lay your hand on the lad and do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son from me. Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in the thicket and it uh by its horns. So Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up for a burnt offering instead of his son, my Lord. And Abraham called the name of the place the Lord will provide. As it is said to this day, in the mount of the Lord it shall be provided. Then the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time out of heaven and said, By myself I have sworn, says the Lord, because you have done this thing and have not withheld your son, your only son. Blessings I will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore, and your descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed, all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.
SPEAKER_00Man, that is so important. That is so important. And your ooh ooh ooh, it was worth it. I hear it now. Excuse me, I'm so sorry. Man, that was it was worth it. Um this is a great example of hearing, listening, hearkening unto, giving close attention to, and moving quickly. Moving quickly. This is so important to developing good listening skills, good, you know, because I I'm one, I've said this for years, that listening is an art. And it's an art form, and not a lot of people know how to let me rephrase that. That too many people do not know how to do. Right. Because they listen through the wrong uh what do you want to say? Headset. Okay, okay, they're listening through the wrong headset. Um hard as it as it may be. Thank you for saying that because that's the key. In order to truly listen well, the heart must be in the right place.
SPEAKER_01I did it again.
SPEAKER_00You did it again.
unknownHey now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I that's I come up with one heaters every now and then.
SPEAKER_00You do more than you think you do. It's that that's the that's the tr that's the key. It's hearing with the right heart. Right. Depending on where your heart is, remember the scripture says, He that has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says, right? Okay. Well, guess what? If you don't know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can audibly hear the words, but you can't take heed to those words or hear those words in your heart to where they can manifest into something that glorifies God. Right. And so, in this example, right here, we can really get some good nuggets out of it because sometimes you're going to have to hear hard things from your spouse. From your spouse, or things, you know, especially when you guys are in the heat of the street. This was a hard thing to hear. Exactly. When you guys are in the heat of a argument, or and I'm not talking about a knockout, drag out, but I'm just saying you guys are having a strong disagreement. Both of you guys have taken strong positions and things of that nature. And somebody, and hopefully both, can say, because you guys are both believers, you can say, you know what? Let's get before our God. Let's humble ourselves before our God. Right. Let's hear what the Lord God has to say. And sometimes you may hear things like, Well, you're you're you're being prideful, or you know, or whatever that difficult task is that the spouse puts before you, one of you should be able to say, I'm gonna be about that, and the Lord will provide.
SPEAKER_02Right. Just he he Moses, uh not Moses, Lord Jesus, Abraham, he rose early the next morning and was about that very, very difficult thing that the Lord clearly told him to do. He didn't delay, he didn't think, he didn't ponder.
SPEAKER_01She couldn't have she went, boy, uh-uh. You ain't taking my son. What? What?
SPEAKER_02But he he he was about it quickly. Like you said, he he didn't delay. Somebody in that in that marriage, in the the the husband or the wife, somebody in that conversation needs to be about the thing of the Lord quickly. And if if it m mostly, well, I won't say mostly, but sometimes it's the wife that has to concede to the husband he's the hit, right? So if I have to do it, I should do it quickly. And even if it seems like a hard thing for me to do, do it and stay in a prayerful mind that the Lord responsibility up to the Lord will provide. Because he has a He's either going to change my heart on the matter or He's going to uh deal with mine.
SPEAKER_00Hey, because I have a responsibility to hear from God as well in order to do what is right.
SPEAKER_02And when you do it like that, there keeps the peace.
SPEAKER_00Because, like, and we've said this so many times, God says, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her. Amen. So while you're doing what you have to do, he has an awesome responsibility as well. But this is the thing the longer you let disobedience or anger or whatever is in your way blocking you stay there, it's gonna fester. Right here, Abraham cut it quick. He he he just obeyed quickly, he he took heed to what God said quickly. And so if you take all three of our accounts that we we um saw in the scriptures today, when you when you first um you started off, we started off with Abraham, right? We started. Yeah, it was it was yeah, it was with Abraham and the rod, right? Yeah, so the issue with that was Moses and Abraham and I meant to say it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm like, no, not Abraham. In my head, we just read Abraham.
SPEAKER_00In my head, I kept saying Moses, but I yeah. But in that in that lesson, we can see what can happen and how you can't hear, you can't hear from God when you're angry. You can't hear your spouse when you're angry, and then you end up doing something that can be costly. Right. You know, some things that are said, they can we've said this before, they can only be forgiven, they can't be taken back. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right, right, right. You know, we want to be careful of that. In the second, in the in the second Samuel and Saul. Right, and in the second one, what you learned is how to listen with the right heart. You don't just listen for key words, you don't just you you must pay close attention to what's being said because you can turn around in your relationship and say, Well, I did what he told wanted me to do, or she did what and then I did this thing that you didn't tell me to do, but I did it for a good reason. So exactly because you but you weren't listening, and even when you're in disagreement or arguing, you're so busy on to the next um response that you can't hear fully what's being said, slow down, listen to what's being said, right, and then you know, you guys go and go back and forth and try to come to a resolution. Third, Abraham and Isaac, move quickly.
SPEAKER_02Man, don't let pride. Just like I had said, I wish I would in those moments just jump when I hear you and I go, gosh, he's right. And I I wish I would more often, right there, because it would cut it. Right. Instead of all the rest, no, I got to get my one, two, and three.
SPEAKER_00Or or or like when I found myself in those positions where I was like, man, she got me on that one. You know, I I'm not as quick to want to say, you know what, you're right, even though sometimes I try to force myself. My pride, my pride is saying, I don't want to admit it, you know. But guess what? In a relationship with each other, there is no pride. Yeah, right. And so there should not be any pride. So we we should want to do like what Abraham did and cut it quickly, cut that pride out quickly so that we can hear. And, you know, ask God to truly help us to hear with our hearts, and with our hearts being right with Him, you know, because the reality is people are hearing with their hearts. It just depends on where their heart is in what they're they're hearing and what they're paying close attention to. Exactly. So when the person whose heart is angry or selfish or whatever, guess what? That's that's where your heart is.
SPEAKER_01Amen.
SPEAKER_00That's where that's where your heart is that's where your heart is. And what we want is what God wants for us. When the scriptures say, create in me a clean heart.
SPEAKER_02And renew a right spirit within us. Exactly. Oh, Jesus, come on.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. And that's what we want. You know, as God cleans our heart, the the heart, the cleaner our heart is, the better we hear.
SPEAKER_02And the better we can listen.
SPEAKER_00And the better we can listen.
SPEAKER_02Come on, Jesus.
SPEAKER_00Anyway, we hope that that helps out to that special get that special love one of ours who wanted this one done. We hope that that uh blesses you.
SPEAKER_02All right, guys. Still, we can be found in Facebook at Because I Promise the letter B. Cuz middle name. I promise last name. Hit us up. We really want to hear from you. Give us topic ideas. As you see, we will discuss them. We can also be found in our fancy email, spelled just as it sounds, because I promise 101 at outlook.com. We just want to hear from y'all.
SPEAKER_00Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, um, because dash I dash promise.com, laugh love, love hard, John 316, and we are out of here.
SPEAKER_02Oh, we love y'all. Thank you for getting that. Here it is.
unknownOoh.
SPEAKER_00Listen well, baby. Oh lord.
SPEAKER_02Hey, that's my first old lord.