Anxiety-Proof Her Interview with Cathy Chester

Cathy Chester is a certified health advocate, speaker, consultant, and patient leader for the multiple sclerosis community. She has been living with MS since 1986 and advocating since her diagnosis (before the internet or any FDA approved medications!)  She has an award-winning blog, AnEmpoweredSpirit.com, and her work has appeared on various MS and health-related websites that include The Huffington Post, Everyday Health, Erma Bombeck's Writers' Workshop, The Mighty, BlogHer, and others. I've been interviewed by Katie Couric, Harvard Radio, Women's Day Magazine, Health.com, and other television and radio outlets. She's  been profiled in many of the major MS magazines and received the Thumbs Up Award from the International Organization of Multiple Sclerosis Nurses for advocating and promoting nurses. She recently won the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award from WEGO Health.

Learn more about Cathy at AnEmpoweredSpirit.com.

Thank you so much for tuning in!

If you are looking for solutions that will allow you to break free from negative thought patterns, worrying, and the uncomfortable symptoms that are caused by anxiety check out Jennifer's website at www.jenniferbronsnick.com or join the Anxiety-Proof Her Facebook Community HERE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/anxietyproofher

Transcript

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Welcome to the anxiety proof her Podcast, where amazing women come for education, inspiration and hope around healing from anxiety. Each month, you're going to hear from other women who took control of their mental health by using outside the box holistic strategies to cope with their anxiety and to ultimately thrive. You will also learn from experts in the health and wellness industry, about the tools they use every day to help their patients reclaim their well being. We hope this information allows you to see that there are many different paths to healing. I'm your host, Jennifer Bronsnick, and I'm a licensed clinical social worker, and anxiety treatment professional. I help women and teen girls who struggle with anxiety, self doubt, and perfectionism to tap into their innate resilience, get to the root of their fears, and implement custom healing strategies so that they can experience peace of mind, more self confidence and be liberated from the suffering that living with anxiety causes. I have lived with anxiety my whole life, and know how hard it can be. I also know that there is hope, and it's 100% treatable with the right information and support. Thank you so much for showing up for yourself and taking the first step to reclaiming your well being and resilience. Welcome to the anxiety prove her podcast as always that we get started with just becoming present coming back home to our bodies. So just take a moment to focus your attention on the area of your heart center. 92 Close your eyes because you're probably driving or watching kids. But just bring that focus to your heart. And then begin to breathe a little slower. A little bit deeper. And feeling as if you're breathing in and out from your heart. And then begin to activate a renewing feeling state like care, appreciation, or even ease. If your mind wanders, just come right back into this feeling this positive, peaceful, relaxed feeling. And know that anytime throughout the day, you can come right back into your heart. Take a deep breath. Remember that renewing feeling and be in awe of your ability to shift your own feeling state. Also, this is an invitation to trust that you will get exactly what you need from this interview today, which I know is going to be wonderful. And to write down notes, because oftentimes we forget, so keep track of those has and breakthroughs that come through during this time with the amazing Kathy trester so my guest today is Kathy Chester. She's a certified health advocate, speaker, consultant and patient leader for the Multiple Sclerosis community. She has been living with Ms since 1986. And advocating since her diagnosis and this is before the internet people or any FDA approved medications. She has an award winning blog and empowered spirits calm and Her work has been featured on MS and health related websites including the Huffington Post everyday health, Irma bombax readies workshop, the mighty blog, her and many others. She's been interviewed by Katie Couric, Harvard radio, Women's Day magazine, health, calm and other television and radio outlets. She's been profiled in many of the MS major ms magazines and received the thumbs up award from the International Organization of MS nurses for advocating and promoting nurses and she recently won the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award from wiko Health Also her blog, which you should totally follow is one of the top 10 ms. blogs that are out there today. So welcome, Kathy, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to have this conversation with you. Yeah, I'm really excited, because I think your personal experience, combined with all of your knowledge, makes you such a leader, you know, in the MS community, but also in, you know, any community. I think that type of knowledge is something that you can really use it a variety of places. So, since this is a podcast about anxiety, I would love to hear, you know, what was your experience of anxiety? Because some people describe it physical or mental. What did you notice? Well, as you can imagine, being diagnosed with this incurable, unpredictable disease before there were any medications before doctors really believed in complimentary medicine using traditional and holistic together, they did not believe in that. So there are no medications. And it we're not recognizing the patients have have as having anything to add to the conversation. And also, there was no internet. So information was very difficult to find, and I knew no one with them, ask. And I was 28 years old, when I got my diagnosis, and dating someone and working in Manhattan. So big heart drop off. And not knowing what my future was, there was a lot of anxiety. And I did try to keep my strength up. Because I gave up my apartment, I gave up my job. And I moved home on the advice of my doctors, which in retrospect, was the worst thing to do. But I moved back in with my parents, and I tried to stay strong for them. So one of the things it was festering within me and it you know, it really came, I really came to feel heart palpitations, and worry. And I didn't really feel depressed, but I didn't know what those feelings were that I was having. Because I had no one to talk to, and know where to turn. So I, in those dark days, it's just what I call it, the anxiety was just festering for a very long time, which we know now is the worst thing to allow it to do. And so that's that was the beginning of my of my journey with living with MS and chronic illness. So would you say that those feelings were a motivator of some kind, where, you know, just having that like, Okay, I've got to figure this out, you know, because you could have you two choices, you could have said I'm just going to listen to everybody and do what they say even though they don't know. Or the path that you chose. Right? Right. Well, you know, now I tell patients the same things that I told myself which is, you know, it works out nicely that my personal professional life collides by being able to rely on what I what works for me. And so being told all those things about literally not having a life giving up your life, and an all it catapulted me into figuring out how, what my next steps were going to be, how am I going to take care of myself? How can I take care of this illness? And and how would I face my anxieties head on and so that, you know, we all learn from adversity that it strengthens us. And that's exactly what it did exactly what it did. And I was lucky to have good support and support from my family and my boyfriend, who's now my husband. Oh, yeah. So prior to your diagnosis, did you ever have anxiety? Or was this like the first time you'd ever noticed these palpitations or you know, your worry part showing up as I like to call it? No, I, I never had any experience with anything emotional or psychological stress whatsoever. I was very involved. And, you know, I and I really just graduated college when I had my first sort of flare up, but okay, seven more years to get a diagnosis. Okay. Would you say that like either Is there a, like a biological component between MS and starting to have anxiety? Like, this is the right question. So, you know, I'm wondering if you have found that the MS almost like triggers this anxiety and people? Well, it's a big portion, a big percentage of people living with them as to experience anxiety. I looked it up, and I think it was 43%. And mostly women. mostly women are diagnosed with MS. There are plenty of men, but statistically, you know, there are a million people in the room right now have Ms. So there is a, there is a link between the two. And look, you're living with an unpredictable disease. I feel well today in two days ago, I could barely walk. Now, how do you deal with that? That's exactly. And you have to learn how to, to live with something as unpredictable as that. That's anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. So what are your tools? What are your modalities, because it sounds like you really have to get into this space of flexibility. And living with uncertainty, which is really, you know, when I treat people with anxiety, that's ultimately what I'm doing is trying to help them be more flexible, and to accept that there is some level of uncertainty for you know, and it varies person to person, obviously. But I would love to hear, you know, what was like the first one that you the first modality that you kind of fell into? Well, I was really trying to find other people who had something similar to me. emotional support is just it's so important. And while my, my, my parents and my brothers and my boyfriend are all very supportive, I still wanted to find other people that were experiencing things similar to me. So I, in my naivety decided to lead a support group. And even though I didn't know much, but it ended up okay, because I met other people who were experiencing Ms. And with Ms. You have not no two people have it exactly alike. But we still have some commonality. So I find I found that emotional support, networking, social connections, were really helpful for me, and then finding the right doctors, and I found an MS Care Center, where they also supported me and I felt much better in my anxiety. As you can imagine, as anybody living with any kind of anxiety if you find the right, support the right network, and also staying away from the toxic behavior as well is equally as helpful for you to stop that and find people who support you, and who are there for you. That was my first step of a long journey. But yeah, important step and one that I I tell others, and I promote for myself to keep doing that. Yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds like you really just said like, this is not going to stop me. You know, that is some within you, you maintained this hope that there's something out there. You know, and I think without that, you know, it's so easy to give up and just say, okay, whatever, but when you can see okay, no, like, there has to be something out there. I don't know. The movie. Have you seen the movie? molana? No. Okay, so you should watch it. It's adorable. It's a Disney movie, my girls love it. But the story is is like molana like senses. She's like, called by the sea that there's like, there's something out there for her. And it's just like, inner voice that, you know, like, it doesn't stop even though everybody in her you know, her communities like no, don't go out there. You know, don't do that. Like just do what you know, we say, you know, where she really stepped into this her own power. And you know, I won't ruin the movie for you. But it's fantastic. And there's great, there's great music with some funny, be watching games, so you never know you might be into it. So is there something in your background? So before Ms. You know, what were you studying in college? Like what type of person were you like? What kind of characteristics Do you think you were already bringing to this experience? Well, I think I was born With that gene that everything is positive, and maybe to a fault. I love the Norman Rockwell picture of life where everything was perfect. And I saw it that way. And so when I was in college, which was most recent time, before I started having these issues with my body, I was very social and very happy and very connected and very busy and joining things, and I never allowed or never even thought about negativity, it never even came into my sphere. So it was so foreign to me to even consider that that might happen one day and never thought about it. And you're young, too. So yeah, and enters into it, you know, life is good enough, nothing will will change. So, yeah, silly me. But, but that's how I was, and I, and I think, a credit. That way of being that helped me through my diagnosis. And all these years later, because it helped me stay resilient. And it helped me step back and see how I could have a normal life within my new normal, and deal with the anxieties that come my way because of the person that I was. That said, I think that people that weren't necessarily born with such a positive attitude, and many people are not. I still believe that I met shell Sandberg once at a book event, and that's when her lean in, came out. And I really believe that that notion of leaning in and helping one another. Because I know this is big within pandemic now, but in this together, that's really true of our community. And not just the MS community, any chronic illness, any disease, any diagnosis, you lean in together to your community or to people in your life that can help you that really does help you battle. I mean, I you know, the focus of this book, this podcast is anxiety. And I do want people to understand that even on a dark day, and we all have them lean in when you need to lean into people who really love you unconditionally understand you, or, or groups or, or, or I'm sorry, for my cat, or left. We all lift each other up, and we're all there to support each other. You know, and I know I just gave you a very long answer to your question. But that's really important for people to understand. Yeah, yeah, no one me alone. Yeah. And I guess, you know, there has to come along with that the belief that, you know, people are compassionate. You know, that, like, anytime I've ever asked for help, you know, what I've noticed? And even though, like, it's uncomfortable to do that, but every time you know, people have raised their hands, like, what can I do? Like, how can we support you, you know, how can we be a part of your team, because ultimately, like, it actually makes them feel good. When others are, you know, needing a little bit of extra, whatever it is, like help with carpool or, you know, watching the kids like, you know, helping in business helping with, you know, a diagnosis. It feels good to give that help. You know, so I think that's a really important mindset feels good to both parties. And that's what the beauty of it. And I've always, always believed and I think Anne Frank said that no, think about her. She's hiding in the middle of the Nazis looking for her hiding in the attic, you know, and you know, it's a doomed situation. And she still wrote that she believed that there was still good in this world. And I firmly believe that no matter what the craziness going on in the world right now, there is still good and compassionate people who are there to help you to support you to listen to you. You know, I do believe that and I do believe that that's exactly why we should be reaching out to each other, or community of people that are still there ready to help each other. So important to really just go here, but really process that and know it know, in your heart, and you'll see Yeah, it really, it really is out there. Wonderful. Yeah, and I would say that it's more people than the people that aren't Of course, there are the You know, narcissists, or you know, whatever other diagnosis you'd have that have a hard time with that. But if you put a room of 100 people, I would say 99 of them are going to be compassionate and good people and caring and willing to help. So I love that you mentioned that because the, we're designed to connect. And it's when we are not connecting, that we really begin to suffer. And so you know, reaching out? Absolutely, yeah, absolutely horrible thing. I went to a luncheon once many years ago for an MS organization. And I saw two nuns sitting at the table, by her themselves for whatever reason. So I went over to talk to them. And they were telling me that they were in a nursing home, and that they had no computers there. And there are two Ms. Patients, they're elderly, who felt so disconnected and so lonely, and it was affecting them physically, of course, yeah. Well, somebody refurbished two computers and donated to those patients. And everything changed. It opened up a whole world. So there's a hash in there. There's a reducing anxiety there, going on there, and what a beautiful act of kindness was that? Yeah, really. Yeah. And such a good thing to know that, you know, even in this time, even in a pandemic, where we can't be physically together, it does not mean that we can't connect, you know, it's just, you know, we're so lucky to have the technology that we do that allows us to have like these Heart to Heart communications. I just did this, you know, week, almost a week long training, and usually it's in person. And it was all on zoom. But I still felt this deep sense of connection and shared experience, even though I couldn't touch them, even though we weren't in the same room. So it's, you know, sometimes I hear people say, you know, oh, well, it's on the same because we're not, you know, can't see each other, you know, whatever that belief is, and I just want to, if you have that belief, to invite you to be open to try now, you know, see if you can connect with people online, because that, you know, if you look at anxiety is just, you know, it's a stressor, just like any other stressor, and stressors get lighter when there's someone else to carry the load. And so, you know, being together is so, so important. So, for anybody listening now that maybe has been diagnosed with MS recently or another diagnosis, because I think a lot of the processes that we go through are, you know, very similar. What would you say is, you know, from your personal experience, but also what you see in your communities, you know, what is that first step, to start feeling good again? Well, I think, first of all, we all have to learn how to have self compassion, and be kind to ourselves. Because no matter what our new normals are, for whatever reason, we're still good enough, and we still have value in the world and we still matter. And so if you're looking at yourself, like you're not a whole person anymore, that's incorrect. totally, completely, not true. self compassion is so important. And there's so much good literature out there to read about it. There are so many YouTube videos from reputable people, you know, be careful who you listen to, but and there's so many you know, I love subscribing to I don't know, light Watkins or tiny Buddha or there's so many great ones out there, you know, Bernie Brown, that teach you or illustrate for you why you matter, no matter what is going on. My one of my fine lines was always to live a joyful life within your new abilities within your abilities. And that's true, because we all can still live a meaningful life within our abilities. And so I think you have to work on your on yourself inwardly as much as you can and do that inner work as much as you can and be kind to yourself and know that you are so worth that. You are so worth working on yourself, and reach out to others if you need to. But I would say that that is really the first step because I know when I couldn't walk for a while, and I couldn't keep up with friends and I couldn't go out. And I couldn't do so much. Because I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel my arms and other issues, I felt so less of a person. And I felt so lonely and left out. And that's a horrible place to be. It really is. Yeah. And so I work, I want to make sure that nobody else is ever in my shoes that you know that I felt that way long ago. So important. Go easy on yourself. I think that's the first step. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Another. I think that's Kristin Neff is another person that talks a lot about self compassion. But yes, that is, you know, the foundation, I think of every tool we have available to great extent, it really is. It really is. And it helps you hold on, you know, it gives you inner strength, it gives you resilience that you'll need. You know, and I think that, you know, if you're going to do baby steps towards working on yourself, and working on your body and all that it has to start with you the interview, and the mindset perspective, you know, and and how you relate to the world because it's going to come back to you. You know, I'm reading on Jay Shetty right now think like a mile. Yeah. Yeah, that's so much good advice about that. And, and, you know, you can, it's applicable to anybody. And so I recommend anybody else, you know, wanting to read that. It's on my on my list. I know we have a big list. You should see my bookshelf, it's a little frightening for myself. Like, my Audible, I'm you know, three, read now. I know I actually I miss driving because that's what I used to listen to my audible my podcasts It was during those times, and I find it harder to sit and listen, I prefer to be like moving. Let me do me too. So cleaning houses cleaner ready? Yeah, not real. Walk around it. So for someone who's listening, who might be feeling a little down, a little overwhelmed by, you know, even taking one small step, is there a message of hope that you want to share with them? Well, I wish I had a great quote, because I didn't really think about it before. But all I know is I've witnessed such a huge change over the last 34 years, from no medication until maybe 20 or so medications, from no internet, to internet, from all kinds of holistic modalities to lean on. For people being able to speak their minds and use their voices to help others. I always had hope and looking at what happens. Hold on. Tomorrow's another day. I really believe that if you have a bad day, just don't own up to it. You had a bad day, just feel it, walk around in it, and then know that you're going to wake up tomorrow. And hopefully, you'll make tomorrow or tomorrow just will be a better day and hold on to hope. I always tell my husband without without hope. Who are we? We always have to hold on to hope it's it's a beautiful thing. And also I believe in in throwing it out to the universe to you know that, that hope is going to come back at us to hold on, hold on and help others help you hold on to that hope. Yeah, I love that. Thank you. So Kathy, where can people find you if they I mentioned your blog, which is an empowered spirit calm, but is there another place that people could follow you learn more about you? Sure. So in empowered spirit calm is my blog, and this is my 10th year with that which I'm thrilled about, um, and on Instagram, it's the cafe Chester, the cafe Chester, and on Facebook, it's my name Kathy Chester. I'm on Twitter, it's Kathy chess dhts Cathy's pretty common name so I had to take whatever I could get. So those are really the main places where you can find me and I want to urge anyone that is facing any difficulties with their ms or chronic illness, especially newly diagnosed and women considering pregnancy with Ms. Because I went through that as well. I am open to talking to people whenever they need to if they have any questions or concerns, because I think it's all about paying it forward and helping others. And that's where the compassion comes in. I don't want anybody to have to go through that kind of anxiety, like I did. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for all of the work you're doing for this community. And you deserve all the successes, all the awards that are out there. Thank you for having me. And thank you for doing this podcast. It's such an important topic for everyone. Thanks. Have a great day, everyone. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for taking the time to invest in your well being. I hope you learned at least one new idea or technique that you might want to implement into your own life. Remember, you're not alone, there is hope and with the right information and support you can thrive. If you're dealing with panic are looking for a step by step process that will allow you to break free from this crippling fear state. I want to invite you to check out my panic attack Survival Guide, you can grab your free copy at www dot Jennifer bronsnick.com Thanks for listening