0129 Female Led Relationships: Tips for Submissive Men Who Want to Do It Right

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So, what actually makes a good subbie?

This week, I’m joined by my favorite human—my subbie, my husband, my chaos co-pilot—for a raw, cozy, occasionally ridiculous chat from our camper (yep, it’s cold, the lights are flickering, and we’re doing our best).

We dive into the foundational truths of a strong Female-Led Relationship (FLR): patience, communication, mindset, and consistency. It’s not about checking kink boxes or racing to 24/7 protocols—it’s about building something real, sustainable, and personalized to you.

If you’re struggling with confidence, or wondering why your partner hasn’t “stepped up,” or if you’re just trying to balance kink with regular life (kids, jobs, burnt-out crockpots)—this episode is for you. And yes, we talk about chores, cock cages, chocolate cravings, and how a 30-second hug can save your whole day.

What You'll Walk Away With:

• The top qualities of a strong, supportive submissive
• How to help your Domme grow into her power without pressure
• Why little gestures (like “I got it, relax”) make a massive difference
• What “topping from the bottom” looks like—and how to avoid it
• The importance of daily communication and mutual care in FLR

Questions This Episode Helps Answer:

• What makes someone a good submissive partner?
• How can a submissive support their dominant in FLR?
• What is topping from the bottom in kink?
• How do you introduce FLR to a reluctant partner?
• How do you build confidence in a female-led relationship?
• What are everyday ways to live out an FLR?
• What are good punishments o

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Transcript

1:04

This podcast is intended for mature audiences only. If you are not 18 years of age or older, there are thousands of other podcasts you can listen to, and you can come back and visit us when you are 18. This podcast is meant solely for entertainment. We are not licensed doctors lawyers, or therapists. We simply have a fascination with the lifestyle, and I'd love to share it with you and get your thoughts and opinions. Welcome back. Episode 29. 29. Oh, exciting. Who is that? It would be your subbie. Oh, my favorite person in the world. That's super nice to know that I'm your favorite person. You are my favorite person in the entire world. So what are we doing today? We are going to talk about you. We are. Yes. We're going to talk about how to be a good subbie. Yeah. And answer some questions as well. But first, let's address some housekeeping. What do we have for housekeeping? Well, I know that I cleaned out my email this week, and that was quite the process in itself. But I just wanted to say I sincerely apologize to a couple people who emailed me and I completely missed it. I did respond to those emails. I sincerely appreciate your email, your feedback, and there was one I may have on the podcast. So stay tuned. That's exciting. It is exciting. Yeah. We are open to having guests. Yes. Like this podcast isn't necessarily just about me and you. Correct. It's about like anybody that listens to the podcast also. Yeah, I would love I mean, hell, if you're interested, we can do it. Yeah. Zoom, Skype, whatever. Right. Yeah. Like if you have you have two cents, you listener watcher person have two cents to throw in by all means. Yes. I love feedback and I love learning more about people. So I am 100 percent on board with that. Right. What's the next housekeeping? The next housekeeping. Oh, pleasant surprise last night. We got a notice from our podcast hosts that also hosts the control podcast. Anybody remember the control podcast? We kind of do. So it's up to twenty five hundred downloads. Super sorry to all you guys that are hanging on the edge of your seats for the next episode. Holy cow. Like there was even a lot of listens last week. Yeah. And we're doing nothing to promote it at all, really. It's in I think it's in the show notes. Yep. And then way early on, we promoted it on Twitter a little bit. But that's it. Yeah. So it's a fantastic little podcast. And there's only a couple episodes right now. But yeah, there's one that's in the pipeline that has been stalled because of me. But it makes me want to get going on it. There's just not enough hours in the day. Yeah. It's a it's a time investment to put this put one of those together. Yeah. It's a lot of editing and adding music and different sound effects and all that stuff. Absolutely. Yeah. But I've not forgotten about it. And now I have a fire under my ass to get going on it. So. Just not this weekend. It's been a busy weekend. Yeah. Somebody has been working all week and weekend. And that's not going to end preparing for a little vacay. We'll see. We'll see how that goes. Patreon. Thank you to all my new patrons. I appreciate you. I appreciate you hanging in there. We are this week maybe excluded, but we are trying very hard to get the podcast released on my Patreon prior to it being distributed to all the other platforms. Right. So as a benefit of being a patron, you get early access to the podcast. Oh, by the way, we're coming to you from a camper. Not necessarily our happy place camper. No. I mean, we're in our yard. It's a second place camper. Yeah. This will at some point replace the camper that is at our campground. But this will eventually be the camper that goes to my happy place. So we we like it started last year, but we go up before opening and tidy some stuff up and get some projects done up there. But it would be cool to do a here's our campground episode from the campground. And I suspect a lot of our episodes this summer will probably come from the camper. Yep. Just because it's nice and relaxed. I can say what I want to say. I don't have to worry about anybody down the hall. Right. It's much easier to do interviews or talk to people. And I would love to have people from camp on. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I would love for you to meet some of them. They're just fantastic humans. It's a cast of many characters. It is. It is. It's great. Very good people, though. Yes. They're fun to be around. Oh, great. I'm fucking just amazed at how many people are listening to what I have to say. Yeah. You guys all rock. Yeah, it's fun. But you guys are doing your part and we are not doing our part when it comes to something. So thanks for hanging in there. Yeah, I think that's it. So let's move into what is a good subbie. What is a good subbie? Well, you, in my opinion. And here's why I say that. We have been discussing well, last week specifically, we discussed. My arms. This is what happens when I don't I can cut the arms out. Yeah, this is what happens when I don't type something up. So last week we kind of talked about I have gotten some email feedback from a few people and. They're tiptoeing into a female led relationship and they are struggling now, there's many, many, many, many reasons where there could be struggles in entering into a female led relationship, which is why I'm here, because I went through most of them, I think. But I'm noticing there seems to be an upswing in submissive kickback, kind of. Not really like the submissive wants the relationship, but is not really. What's the word I'm looking for? Not really helping the relationship flourish, not really doing their part. They're talking the talk, but not walking the walk. Yes, that's what I'm gathering from some of the things that you've been reading me and some of the comments that you've gotten. And I will say that that's that's actually really easy to do, you know, because you OK, I'll speak for me, especially in the beginning of this. With the beginning of this, I had in my mind what this and by this, I mean our marriage, our relationship. I had in my mind what I wanted, but I'd not ever really done that yet. I've never I had never really. Lived a 24-7 FLR type situation. Well, and I think, too, it's the excitement and it's new and you just want to do it all at one time. And it's real hard to be patient. But I can't tell you enough how important it is to be patient, be patient with your dom as a submissive. I was treading on whole new territory, small town girl. This is all new to me. And thankfully, he was very patient. There were times where I was overloaded with things where I kind of was overly stimulated on different avenues. This could go down or different things we could participate in. Yeah, that's my bad. Just because mainly he had more experience in this situation than I obviously did. And not to say he had a ton of experience, but he had been more exposed to the lifestyle and different things that were out there that could be participated in. It had been on my mind for quite some time that once I figured out what what an FLR was or could be, I was kind of all consumed with it, you know. And when when we met, you know, I kind of vomited it all out on you in a single conversation. But at the time, I think. That's that's what I wanted. And if I remember right, I said it was not required. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Multiple times he told me if this is something you are not OK with, if this is something you do not want to do, I am 100 percent OK having a normal vanilla marriage. And I hate the word normal. Fucking hate that word. But just. You know, standard husband and wife monogamy, no play, no word, you know, 100 percent equal. We both make decisions that. I'm pretty sure that I knew that that wasn't going to happen. Yeah, he knew me pretty well from the get go. I was I was a naughty girl just begging to get out of that small town. Yeah. I mean, I didn't have any specific visions of what it was going to be, but I knew that or I had a really strong feeling that I had a really strong feeling that this was going to be interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, interesting. It has been because I'd never really I'd never met somebody like you until meeting somebody like you. I'm one of a kind. Yeah, that's true. That's it. That is a true statement. So I knew that this was going to be unique. I didn't know the extent of what it was going to be. So I felt comfortable in saying this thing that I'm telling you would be really, really cool. But I totally understand if you're not on board with that. Right. He was very, very understanding. Let me process. He gave me some time. He gave me space to let me do what I needed to do. He did set some soft boundaries in the beginning about who I discussed things with or if I was going to play with somebody else who he would prefer. I didn't. And he didn't specifically say stay away from this person. He just said I would prefer if this person was not on the list of people that you interact with sexually. I think there's only one person that's on that list. I think there was two, but one of them was a given because I threw up in my mouth when you even said their name. Yeah. And that person is still on the list. But really, I don't know that there's more any more than that one person on the list. There was two. I may have said two. We'll just say that one of one of them. If my strawberry bestie is listening to this, she's going to know immediately who we're talking about. So one of them she has children with the others she does not. Yeah. And guess which one made me vomit. Yeah. The one that she does did not have children with was on the list. But somehow. Made it on to a different list. We're not talking about the same person, but anyway. Oh, we are getting off track. So sorry. Let me just say the podcast that I have him on when he's here with me. I love it because one, it's alone time that we get to just talk about things. So it's almost like you guys get a little ride along on a reconnection session for the two of us. That's very true. And just so we're on the same page, person number two was around your age and lived down the street from me when I lived in my hometown at my house all the time. L? Yes. Okay. Nevermind. I know who you're talking about. And yes, that person did make it on another list, but did not have the brain capacity for this type of situation. And that's not a bad thing. It just wasn't for him. And that is totally fine. Yeah. He could have had a nice ride more of the way than one. Punny. You're so punny. I am punny. All right. So coming full circle. Yes. So, okay. So I laid it all out there. It took you time to process. Um, we had further conversations about things and it was more, it was more about the cockled side of things than the FLR side of things. It was to assert. The conversations were. Yes. Yeah. The FLR thing, the FLR conversation. Um, I was like, yeah, I can tell you what to do. I'm totally down with that. Yeah. Obviously there's so much more involved in a relationship like this than me just telling him what to do. Right. However, when we initially started, my confidence was significantly lower than it has. I mean, if, if you were to look at me, like I said, 10 years ago, even 10, five, not five years, even five years ago, since I've been in this, the more we're in this type of relationship, the more confident I get. Right. And I also find that the more confident that I get just in everyday life, the more people are attracted to me. That's true. Including him. I mean. That's really true. Yeah. Confidence is hot ladies. It is. And if anybody understands not being confident, I do. I mean, I totally understand where you, cause I, like I've said, I'm an overthinker. I overthink a lot of things, but when I just get out of my own fucking head and just enjoy life for what it is, it's a whole different ball game. Right. I agree. Confidence was my biggest struggle initially in our female led relationship beginning. But the cuckolding, I really, really struggled with in the beginning. I could not understand how. In the very beginning. Yes. In the very beginning. Yes. Um, but on the note of being a good sub number one, be patient. Number two. Right. Be understanding and don't like my biggest fear starting out was that I was going to do something, whether it be a spanking or tell him to do something. And he was going to laugh at me or he's going to be like, that's not how you do it or not listen. And then I'd have to come up with a punishment. And I think we've even had this discussion. Sometimes punishments are hard for me. I'm still learning. I don't know what to, I mean, as we talked about spanking, you know, is that really a punishment? Now I have a whole new perspective on spanking. You just kind of have to learn as you go and you have to be a team with it, which contradicts the female led relationship a little bit, but you have to be on the same page and communicate. But that's the biggest part of it is the communication. Yes. It really, my gosh, the communication and the honesty about everything. I don't know that this is even possible without those. No, I don't think so. And you have to be comfortable talking to your partner. Right. Because assumptions kill so many things. Ass of you and me. Yeah. So when, just like you said, you know, the sub has an idea of how things are going to go and he has these expectations of his dom and it doesn't go the way that he wants it to go, then he gets all pissy or down about it or just forget it. You know, that sort of thing. Without really giving the dom a chance to learn things and wrap her head around things and even ask questions of him, you know. In addition, though, not to cut you off. That's okay. Go ahead. But you are absolutely entitled to be frustrated. I mean, there's ways, there's correct ways to maybe handle the frustration. Like maybe it's time to throw a safe word and just be like, hey, we need to talk about this. Here's why I'm frustrated. Yeah. That's the communication. Right. Right. Yeah. I mean, don't make it, I don't want it to come across as being a submissive. You never get to get frustrated because this is a whole different. Right. I think the longer, in our case, definitely, the longer we've done this and I can be transparent and say the longer we've done this, the less frustrated that I've gotten. To the point where I don't remember the last time I was really frustrated about anything. I have such a head space now about being understanding and not applying pressure or expectations or anything like that. I think a majority of your frustrations with me in the beginning was my lack of confidence because you saw me in a whole different way than I saw myself. So I think your biggest frustration with me was the fact that I just could not grasp the concept of taking my confidence and running with it. You know what I mean? Right. So I'm already here, but you're still back here. And it's not that I'm frustrated with the relationship. And I almost hate using the word frustrated because that means that I have or had expectations that weren't being met and I was being selfish. Which I never felt that you had expectations that I wasn't meeting. Okay. That's good. I felt more of it being just that, like, I don't know how to take a compliment. Still to this day, I struggle with that a lot. And I pour them out. Well, I know how to take a compliment from you sometimes. Sometimes if you're watching this on YouTube, he gets this space if he tells me I'm pretty. So there is that. And I think that's the years and years, the relationships that I was in prior that were not healthy. I mean, the communication was terrible. I didn't receive compliments like that. I didn't receive compliments like that growing up as a child. Yes. I don't know how to take compliments. I've kind of always been that way. Now it gets better, but I still like if somebody says something, I don't know what, you know, like if we're at the campground and somebody says, Hey, nice boobs. Like, thanks. I grew them myself. What do you want? I don't know what, you know, I don't, I don't know what to say to not sound like an asshole. I totally get that. So it kind of makes me uncomfortable and it's a thing I'm working on. But with, I mean, I'm comfortable when you compliment me again, you still sometimes get the face, but I think the biggest struggle in the beginning was the confidence. So I think it kind of falls heavily on the, if that's a situation in the beginning of your FLR and you're struggling with your Dom having confidence issues, it might wear on you a little bit, but you just got to hang in there because once they break through, it's fucking amazing. Yeah, for sure. God, I had such a great point that I was just thinking about. No, it's okay. I want to circle back a little bit to the relationships that you had in the past. And then I bring up this completely different relationship, right? Oh, fuck. So talk about changing gears. So there's no, there really is no reason to have frustration with somebody who's led their life for 20, 30, 40 years in one direction. And then you come along and say, but I, but we could totally go in this direction if you want to and expect them to like, just like that, you know, that's a big ship to try to move and circle in a different direction. I am very much nodding my head. Yes. Yeah. So, and again, and man, it's a fucking broken record. The communication between us was vital in order for us to get to where we are. And that is one thing too, about our relationship from day one, from almost the minute we started talking, I don't know what it was, but I felt instantly that I could tell him anything. Yeah. Anything. Same on my side. So easy to talk to him, to just, and I think that's part of the reason too, that it was kind of all dumped in my lap rather quickly. Yeah. Because we just were that open with each other. We told each other, I mean, fuck three months after we, were we even together three months? I bought him a truck. Yeah, you did. And then he wanted to put the brakes on when I said I could add him to my cell phone plan. It was moving way too fast. We had to hold her back a bit. I'll keep the truck, but I don't know about cell phone plan. That's anyway. Yeah, there must have been a reason for that. And I don't even know what it was. Tip number one for being a good submissive, understanding and patience. Yes. Are key. Yep. Be the tortoise, not the hare. Slow and steady wins the race. Yep, for sure. And guys, I absolutely know the excitement or the expectations and all that involved in this. And please take it from me, slow down and relax. Yes, tomorrow is not guaranteed, right? Very true. We all know this. However, don't ruin today because you think tomorrow is not coming. You know what I mean? Live in what you have right now. And then tomorrow live in something a little bit closer to where you want to be. And the next day, live a little bit closer. It's taking small steps at a time. And it's not snap your fingers and everything is the way you imagine it. And the patience comes in. Being patient is be patient if your significant other is just entering any type of lifestyle. Be patient with the confidence. Women are complicated creatures. Our brains are just complicated. And it's so hard for us to see ourselves the way you see us. We see all of our flaws and men don't see that in their partners. And I shouldn't speak for all men. But for us specifically, he sees me 150% different than I see myself. And I'm getting better at it. And I'm starting to be more confident. But I know it was frustrating for him in the beginning. So just be patient. And all you can do is show them every day how you see them and treat them like a queen. And what a great segue. That starts with take the physical side out of it to start with. Meaning take the sexual component to it away. Take the punishment component away. Take all that away. And start doing little things for your Dom that would make her day a little bit better. And if that is doing the dishes, then do the dishes. If that's vacuuming, do the vacuuming. Running a kid somewhere. Yeah. If she's in the middle of something and the kid has to go somewhere, your response is, I got it. Relax. I'll take care of it. Just do what you can to make her day easier. Right. The little things that seem mundane start to add up. And they start to really make a difference in her day-to-day life. And that also will build her confidence. Because she will notice what you're doing. You know what I mean? Don't do it expecting things. Do it because you're submissive. Right. And you should be doing it if you're submissive. If you call yourself a submissive, you should be doing whatever you can within reason. And everybody's relationship is going to be different. Now, he's just giving you examples. It's not a, if you do the dishes, she's going to fall right into a female-led relationship. Right. But I'm saying that's the little steps. And that's the mentality that you should be in anyways. That's the long-run mentality. Just because you built yourself a nice female-led relationship within a year or two, and you're close or dead on to what you want, that doesn't mean that you stop doing the dishes. Or you stop running to the store. Or you stop rubbing her feet or whatever it is. These are long-run ways that you should be thinking. Not to mention, if you do stop one to two years in and she is more confident, she'll probably punish you for it. Right. And probably not in a good way. You know, so being a good submissive is having a submissive mindset, right? Yes. So, and having the submissive mindset is devoting yourself to her happiness. In general, just overall. Right. That's just kind of the essence of what this is. So, if you stop your FLR at just that, that's just being a good husband. Mm-hmm. You know, that's just being mindful of your significant other. Because typically, in turn, she will do the same for you. I take very good care of them. Yes. I'm spoiled beyond belief. Like food shows up on a plate in my lap every night. And I feel guilty about that. Well, no, it wouldn't probably be necessary. Like on the weekends, generally food shows up in my lap when he's not working. Right. But, and he takes very good care of me. It's a, I mean... It's a yin and yang thing. And it is custom to our relationship. Me cooking him dinner. I mean, like that's like Dom 101. Your submissive makes you dinner and serves you. Well, that just doesn't work in our dynamic on a day to day. And I am the one that chose, I choose to make him dinner. So I'm still in control, which means I'm still the dominant. So I think that's where a lot of confusion comes. And I think a big part of the overwhelming feeling that you get when being first introduced to a female led relationship, like I've said, is it automatically goes to sex. It automatically goes to whips and chains and outfits of leather with ball gags. And, you know, and I mean, that's where it went for me. And I fucking don't, I mean, maybe someday I'll like a ball gag, but right now I don't want anything on his face or in it. I mean, I shouldn't say I don't want anything in your mouth because that's not necessarily true. However, I do not want a ball gag in his mouth. I just, right as of right now, I don't necessarily like the way those look. It's just not a turn on for me. Is Dick in a cage? Huge turn on for me. There we are. Right. I think for beginners taking this sex aspect out of it initially and working together to kind of get boundaries set for what you want out of a female led relationship and getting kind of, I hate to say routine, maybe rhythm would be a better one. Yes. Rhythm. Get into a rhythm of what works for you because obviously life happens and you have to figure out how to incorporate what your dynamic is in your relationship with how your life functions. We have children. So we figure out a way. If your life is anything like ours and ours is a goddamn shit show sometimes, right? Like how could this could exist in the shit show that we live in half the time with the amount of shit that comes our way on a daily basis. If we can do it, anybody can fucking do it. Mind numbing. You know, but we still exist in this relationship and it is, it is bulletproof, you know? So whatever shit comes our way, we both know that we are facing the shit together. We're a team. And figuring whatever it is out because we figure things out on a daily basis sometimes. We're the shit fighters. Oh my God. Now, but I'm just saying that's, that's the, that's the real life stuff, you know? And we can't be the only people who are, well, first of all, we can't be the only people on earth who face the amount of shit that we face. Right. And we have our own accountability for part of the shit that comes our way. Some of it is right of our own doing others. Other stuff is just simply shit that comes our way. And that's just the way it is. Right. But we deal with so many variables that are out of our control. Yeah. A lot of moving parts constantly. Correct. Yeah. And we can't be the only couple that deal with a lot of moving parts. Yeah. Right. So to those of you out there who are similar to us, we understand, you know, but have the confidence and know that this is totally possible as long as you have your communication and honesty and your patience. As long as you always come back to those things. Yeah. You can totally do this. Yep. I agree. Also, it's okay to make mistakes, learn from your mistakes and move on. I have hit his ass so fucking hard once. I mean, and I think I said this in the spanking episode and I felt so bad. I did not tell him that I felt bad. I just kind of walked away and let him process the pain. But listen, I've learned from my mistake. I don't know if that's a mistake. Well, he didn't do anything. I mean, he wasn't being punished. He was just laying on the bed and I just hauled off and smacked his ass and I hit it just right. I mean, he yelled real loud and the smack was real loud. But I mean, there's times where you're going to do something and you feel like a complete asshole. Don't dwell on it. Right. I'm a dweller. I'll dwell on it and I'll overthink and I'll relive it. You have to put it in the past. Learn what you can learn from it and move the fuck on. Right. The only thing you can do about that moment is learn from it. Right. You can't have that moment over. Right. That moment has passed now. And and how. How you can. How do I want to say this? You can you can define. And that's not how I want to say it. This is getting very one time at band camp ish, isn't it? Yeah, sort of. You can you can only control how you react to it. And if you. Overanalyze. Right. If if if you if you are able to. Take a step back. And and replay the moment in your head. And think to yourself, what can I learn from this? Where did I go wrong or where did he go wrong? You know, or or where did we go wrong in this? And how can this not happen again? Yeah. You know, instead of. Guys, you're pissed at her for whatever she did or didn't do, you know. She can't fix it if she doesn't know that you're pissed about it. So that is his tagline right there. Yeah. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong. Correct. It's actually a quite it's it's a good. It's not a tagline, but it's a good motto to live by. We're very good at communicating what's bothering us or if he's just pissy from a day of work. He's very good at saying, listen, this is not you. I'm just frustrated with my day at work. I'm truly not trying to take it out on you. But this is where I'm at. And I've been that way for for a long time. Or I've tried to be that way for a long time. I've tried to leave my work shit on the front step as I walk into the house because it's everybody in the house. It's not their fault, whatever is going on. So that's not fair for me to bring, you know, my shit into the house and blame everybody else for it. That's just unfair. So on that note, I try not to bombard him with all the shit that I've dealt with all day the second he walks in the door. And one other thing that I can suggest, and we have kind of because life gets in the way and this happens. But one thing we always try to do is when he gets home from work before we even get into how our day was or whatever, just a 30 second hug and just to connect, just to touch and just have that for a minute. Just let go of what happened today. Just focus on that moment and just have that connection. And then once we're done with that 30 second hug, then we can just spew everything. But it just kind of grounds us. And I really, we haven't, I mean, we fall off and on with it. We're pretty consistent with that, but nobody's perfect. And you just find what works for you. And sometimes your follow through falls away. You just got to be mindful and bring it back. Yep. So really all we've discussed as far as what a good subbie is, is communication and patience. And I mean, I guess one and two, there we are. Yeah. I also think doing all the little things is super important. Yep. Taking your time, like patience, whatever, that's just super important. Yep. Long-term, you're really going to have to be mindful of what is going to help her today. Or what is going to help her in this moment? How can I make this moment better? Another thing that he does that I love is we generally text probably more than we should for him to be productive at work during the day. But if I'm just communicating and he can kind of sense, because he knows me better than I know myself, if he can kind of sense that I'm having a bad day, he's very mindful of like, well, impending shark week, I get chocolate. I mean, just things like that. You know what I mean? There is that. Just, and I'm not really a flowers girl. I don't, I mean, I kill pretty much anything that grows in the ground. It's just who I am, black thumb, cross the board, working on it, learning, but just little things, even if it's a bag of my favorite chips, just in general, or I've been kind of tired that day, he'll bring me a Celsius or whatever. I mean, it's just pay attention to the things that are being said to you and just stick them in your back pocket to save for later. By the way, Celsius, we like sponsorships. I don't think Celsius is listening to this type of podcast. Maybe not. I mean, they should be. A boy can dream. Shit as much money as we spend on Celsius. Yes. Okay. I don't know what more we can say without being redundant. One time at band camp. It's starting to get cold in here. It is starting to get cold in here. We had the heater in. How are you doing there? I've got a good bra on. You can't see nothing. We had a heater in here and we had to turn it off because it was too noisy. I think we might have some electrical issues. We're slowly losing light. Yeah. I'm a little concerned about that. I'm not sure. I don't hear the, I don't hear the inverter running. So maybe that's. Yeah. But props to the batteries for holding them that long. Yes. I was actually pretty impressed. Probably not. Maybe. This is real life folks. It is. We are just all over the map. It was beautiful today. It was 60 degrees. It was beautiful. Yep. And it's supposed to snow in two days. But. But not nothing like a few weeks ago when the entire nation was covered in ice. Yeah. And like, it was like 20 some below here. Just regular temperature, not wind chill. Thanks for visiting Christine's FLR podcast to get weather info. Yeah. But I think everyone can identify with that. Yeah. I think so too. Yep. So. If anybody out there has questions for my subbie or me or whatever. Yep. Just ask. I mean, we can do. If you want to send questions in an email, we can do a whole nother episode. Yeah. Much more organized than this one, maybe because this is a little bit of a rambling session, but. Kind of. This is who we are. And I think we had good things to say. Yeah. And you can take that out if you want. I don't care. We have good things to say in our opinion. Yes. This is just us. And this is, I mean, I've said this before. This is the most healthy and fulfilling relationship I have ever been in. Now, I haven't been in a ton of relationships, never one like this, but I have never communicated with anyone maybe other than my strawberry bestie. She's my person, but him and I are on a whole nother level than any other relationship I've ever been in. And that's one of the main reasons that I'm such a big promoter of female led relationships, because I feel like obviously not everybody is going to be like us, but I think it really makes you sit down and talk about the little things that maybe people don't talk about in regular relationships that aren't female led or just in general. And I understand it's a very rough concept for a woman to be in control and not be the nurturer. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like for me personally, I'm a mom. I want to take care of everything. So it's hard for me to, it was hard for me in the beginning. I'm adapting nicely now. It was hard for me to give tasks to him that I'm so used to doing. I'm just so used to taking care of everything. And here he comes in and, well, let me do that for you. What do you mean? Right. I think that there are a ton of FLRs out there that don't realize that they're FLRs. Oh, for sure. I agree a hundred percent. And I got an email specifically from somebody and I want to go into this maybe in another episode because he did a blog post and I cannot remember, it was the cheese and is what the title of it was. And I cannot remember where it was posted, but I will try to get that and put it in the show notes or I'll talk about it more in depth. The blog post was fan-fucking-tastic. It was amazing. And I totally lost where I was going with that. The FLRs that don't realize they're an FLR. Oh, men are by nature attracted to dominant women. And I think that's true. And I don't think I ever realized that, but I fucking hate that statement of happy wife, happy life, but, or she's got his balls in her purse, which now we reference that because it's kind of our backwards way of saying that your dick is locked in a cage. But I don't understand why that's a bad thing. Why is it a bad thing for a man to take care of the woman or just do what she says? Right. But it's not a, I mean, and then a man telling a woman what to do is completely normal. Again, there's that word I love, but why is that acceptable? But it's not acceptable for me to tell my husband what to do. Why is it okay the other way? I will find that blog post and we will either discuss more in depth or I will put it there and you should check it out because it's very well-written. I think that there's, so the people who are in an FLR that don't realize they're in an FLR, the wife is probably viewed as just being bitchy all the time. Yeah. I hate that. There's a difference between strong and bitchy. I probably come off bitchy to people in my hometown when I address you, but do you- Maybe, but they don't, I don't know. That's an interesting view. I mean, maybe in the beginning I was more aware of me coming off as bitchy and now I just, it's like our normal place. It just happens and I don't even, if we're at the bar shooting darts or something and I'm like, oh, Brian can go get us drinks. They're like, oh no, no, that's okay. I'm like, no, make him go get them. He can go get them. Yeah. I think though that the people we hang out with, they know our relationship without knowing our relationship. Probably. You know what I mean? They know how ridiculously in love we are, right? They know how much I am dedicated to you. And I don't know, there may even be just a touch of jealousy in some of that. For some of my friends, absolutely. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe, but I forgot where I was going with that. It's the trend. It's because it's getting fucking cold in here. I think it's that your FLR can be present outwardly around friends and family just by the way you interact with each other. Again, subs, if your wife is talking to her relatives or friends and you notice that her drink is low or she doesn't have something to drink. You're a fucking rock star at that. Whatever it is that would really show her that you're being attentive, just go do it. Get her a water or beverage of whatever she wants or whatever she might need at the time without even being asked. And that shows the people that she's talking to how attentive you are to her needs. Not that you have to show that off or anything. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you can show people that you have a great relationship by doing those little things. And then you'll probably get the comment, oh, he's so pussy whipped. Damn straight, this thing's like gold. Yeah, well, you'd have to actually get the pussy to be whipped. But I digress. There is that. Ah, chastity. I get this, this whole thing. What more could you want? Did you see that? There was the awkward smile because he's giving me a compliment. YouTube, pay attention. Yes, we're going to talk about next week. Fuck, I don't know. Let's get together and have a rambling sesh. We'll figure it out. I think you've gotten some, I think in your Twitter, you've gotten a few requests. I will post on my Twitter too. Oh, that was a tongue twister. I will post on my Twitter a couple. I don't know how I want to do that. Do it on the Patreon. Have the Patreon people vote. What? Yes, I will post about topics for next week. But I would love if people hit me up with questions that they would like. The question and answer session seems to be pretty popular because people are just curious. That was another thing I was going to say, and I'm sorry to keep going back on. But one of the other things I've suggested to people beginning a female-led relationship or trying to get their spouse or introducing it to their spouse, not trying to get them, but to introduce their spouse to an FLR, surround yourself with like-minded people. I said this last week. I have learned so much from camp. Offer resources that they can look into that are not all sexual. I have found many articles and there are books out there about the positive sides of being a dominant woman. And there are a ton, whether you're in an FLR or not, just being a confident, strong woman, knowing what you want and expressing yourself is unbelievable. Resources, surrounding yourself with like-minded people, people that you can talk to openly, because I think that was my biggest thing. And I know I've said that multiple times as well. I didn't really have anybody to talk to other than him. And some, especially in the beginning, I kind of felt like I was crazy because I was actually interested in doing this type of relationship because I didn't necessarily know all the benefits. And I felt like, I mean, I could talk to my best friend about it, but she didn't really have any experience with it. So it was different to talk to somebody who maybe has been involved in the lifestyle and is down to earth and can give you good suggestions or just relate to how you feel. I mean, sometimes it's just a matter of being able to relate to how you feel because sometimes you feel very alone in the beginning of this. So I'm here. I'm a like-minded person. If anybody wants to talk. Yeah, me too. And he's very fun to talk to. As you can tell from the last 55 minutes, I enjoy it. It's a good thing we can edit this and put things- No fucking shit. In different places. I'm real sorry. This is going to be a hot mess for you to edit. So- It'll be fun. So- So- So- Okay, for real. People of Twitter, DM me with things you would like to have me answer. Patreon, message me with maybe questions that you have. If there's something you would like me to address, email me. All of this information is in my show notes. I would love to do- And it doesn't have to be next week. It can be a couple of weeks from now. Whenever. And YouTube people, put it in the comments. Yeah, absolutely. For sure. I forget people are watching me right now. Oh, and your OnlyFans. They can ask you things on your OnlyFans too. Absolutely. There's multiple ways of getting a hold of you. Yes, all of which are in my show notes and my OnlyFans peeps. Including a direct text number. Yes, also in my show notes. It's really cold. We should probably wrap this up. Okay. Thank you everyone for listening to me ramble. Thank you for having me. I love having you. It's fun. On the show and otherwise. Really? I honestly wasn't sure that we'd have much material to talk about, but here we are an hour later. Well, you know, get us alone in front of a microphone and away we go. Yeah, we have a lot to say. I guess so. Everyone, have a fantastic week. Fantastic week. And be good people. Yes. Being a good human is important. And be safe. Take care of yourself and your families. And come back next week for the surprise of what the episode will be, because I don't know. And that's okay. That's how we roll. And scene. Can we come in?