#110 - F*ck Fear with Jay Pryor

Jay Pryor is joining us to talk about facing your fears and what to do when your worst fears come true because, as bosses, most of the time those things that we're afraid of are all just in our heads.

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Kathleen Shannon: 0:46

Hello, and welcome to being boss,

Emily Thompson: 0:49

a podcast for creative entrepreneurs. I'm Emily Thompson.

Kathleen Shannon: 0:53

And I'm Kathleen Shannon.

Jay Pryor: 0:55

I am Jay Pryor and I am being boss.

Kathleen Shannon: 1:00

Hey bosses. Today we are talking about facing your fears and what to do when your worst fears come true. And we've invited my personal coach and good friend Jay Pryor on to join us. Jay is a coach for executives and all around badass with a ton of perspective. And I couldn't think of a more perfect person to help us have this kind of hard conversation with. Now we're going to mention and reference a lot of things in this episode. As always, you can find all the tools, books and links, we reference on the show notes at WWW dot being boss club. All right, I want to pause the show for a second, I have a confession to make. I used to do this thing I called intuitive banking, where I would just kind of feel how much money I had to spend and spend accordingly. Well, you can probably guess how that went. And I've noticed that a lot of creative entrepreneurs do this in their business, they don't have a clear look at their numbers or the financial health of their business, and it leaves them freaking out about money. So our number one recommendation is always to look at your numbers. And I can't think of a better way to do this than to set up fresh books, cloud accounting for your business. In fresh books, you'll be able to keep track of all of your expenses, so all the money going out. And you'll be able to keep track of all the money coming in by invoicing clients and getting paid lightning fast. All through freshbooks is super easy. You can pull reports profit and loss statements, you can see exactly where you are by logging into the dashboard. any given day. Try it for free by going to www.freshbooks.com slash being boss and enter being boss in the How did you hear about us section? Okay, back to our show. So, Jay, welcome to the show. Welcome back.

Jay Pryor: 2:55

Thanks. Yeah, it's great to be back.

Kathleen Shannon: 2:57

And you joined us super last minute, which we really appreciate. We had a guest fall through and Emily and I decided we wanted to have a hard conversation about fear. And I was like, Oh, I feel like we could spiral really quick. Right? I

Emily Thompson: 3:10

was like, I actually love this idea. Kinda. And then I started thinking about all the ways this could go really wrong. If you put Kathleen and I in a room together, or virtual room together. And let us talk about fear. I don't know that anyone would really want to listen to that whole conversation.

Jay Pryor: 3:27

Come on you to manage your fear quite well, I think,

Kathleen Shannon: 3:29

well, I don't know.

Emily Thompson: 3:30

And I, we can also probably get preachy, which is why we needed a third party.

Kathleen Shannon: 3:37

I will say that, you know, whenever I was reflecting back on my 2016, and kind of what I wanted to let go of moving into 2017, a lot of it was letting go of fear and anxiety and guilt and worry. And so the first thing I really want to talk about is defining fear, and maybe even how anxiety and guilt and worry kind of wrapped themselves around fear. And what these emotions are all about how they show up in our bodies. And why are they so damn persistent. So Jay, what are your thoughts on that?

Jay Pryor: 4:10

Well, first of all, you know, I'm not usually an acronym guy. But fear is one of the ones that I do. generally try to be conscious of the acronym from jack Canfield to book the success principles, which is false events appearing real. Because so much of fear is not in the moment. All not all that I mean, I would assert that Yeah, most of our fear is our projection or something that we are anticipating, or even something that happened from our past that we're afraid we're going to redo, you know, not much of it is happening in this moment. And so part of how I deal with fear and how I coach around fear is having people be very clear that first of all, as always, remember, the first thing is to give up making it wrong, that it's happening. So to give up making it wrong, that you've been have all the fear because if you have it that you shouldn't have it, you're going to be resisting it. So you want to make sure that you you know, give up making it wrong, that you're having the fear. However, then, you know, getting in the moment is very powerful around dealing with fear. And of course, then there's all the shadow work to do. Back there.

Kathleen Shannon: 5:19

away. talk more about that.

Jay Pryor: 5:22

Well, I just think that there's a you know, I'm so clear that all of us have our you know, I mean my belief in my coaching practice comes from this idea that it's our brains and our brains reticular activating system and our ability to be hijacked and all the all the experiences we've ever had that have logged in our brain and just Run patterns when we're completely unconscious of them, that is generating how we're being in the moment. And so when we're faced with fear, we're usually not faced with something in this moment. It's usually something from the past. And we got to go back and figure that out and get cleaned from it. So that's just the work to do sometimes. Lego.

Emily Thompson: 6:09

Yeah. In a good way.

Jay Pryor: 6:12

Yeah. I mean, I, you know, what's amazing to me is, you know, like, you know, I also am a big proponent of do all the things like anything that resonates with you do it. In terms of personal development. I've recently discovered hypnotism as a powerful tool that I'm enjoying. And it's gotten me to a totally new level of dealing with my fear, but conquering my fear also on that level, and having me feel man like right now I'm so in. I can't fail. There's nothing I could do wrong. Universe has my back, you know, I am way in that. But it's because I just have in 2016 conquered a whole new level of fear.

Kathleen Shannon: 6:51

And you've been brainwashed into believing it?

Jay Pryor: 6:53

Yes, absolutely. Which is fine with me. No, totally right. In a minute.

Kathleen Shannon: 7:01

So, but here's here's the thing that I'm really struggling with, that I want to know more about is, and maybe you've seen this in some of your clients. Why is it so persistent? Like why is fear the constant knocking at our door? Emily, do you experience that at all?

Emily Thompson: 7:18

I do some and whether it's a concert, or whether it's persistent, or I almost see it as a, as a habit, more so than persistency. And I say that because over the past a month or two, especially Lily, my daughter, who is eight, has been talking a lot about being scared about things and like really pointless things. Or we were walking through target the other day, and walk into the movie section. And she goes, which one of these scares you more like being here in target, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, or the Santa Claus. And I was like, neither like I have no fear at all around this is scared really the word you were meaning to say? And so the mean, like it led to a conversation, because she's been saying, like, I'm scared of things a lot when I can tell that. It's just habit for her to say that. And so for me, I'm really interested in knowing where she's picked this habit up because David and I don't talk about being scared very often. But maybe we're like, projecting something that she's picking up. So I feel that it's probably not persistency. So much as habit of beating fear. We're just used to being in a fearful state, and you just blew my mind.

Jay Pryor: 8:32

Yeah, no, but that's exactly what I'm talking about is that I think all of us as humans, are just doing whatever it takes to survive the next minutes. Because that's literally how we're wired up. And until we become conscious of that, like we are that the whole goal is to separate a service out from that kind of machinery, and watching ourselves, do it. The more conscious we become of it, the less it runs us, right? Yeah. But as long as it's running us, if fear is something that is part of that wheel, you'll notice that you talk about it, either you roll or it's kind of like rolling around in it. But it's a habit. It's not something that I mean, I don't think you do it consciously is my point.

Kathleen Shannon: 9:11

One of the mantras that you taught me that I continue to teach all of my own clients is stop it. Yeah, this is definitely a mantra that I use all the time that I find myself

Unknown: 9:23

doing that.

Emily Thompson: 9:26

Yeah. All right, let's start preaching that Lily and see if I get any.

Jay Pryor: 9:32

Well, I mean, I think kids are a great example. Because we are conscious of our own stories, and where we've picked them up along the way, the kids since you have them just like you're watching, you can see that something happens in their lives. And then they start, like speaking from that place. And it just turns into, you know, what you focus on always expands, which, you know, we talked in a while, I used to think of that from a principle of like, it's a universal principle, that what you focus on always expands like the law of attraction. More and more, I'm learning about your reticular activating system, which is literally a system in your brain that is designed to filter out anything that's not important. And so it literally feeds you whatever you believe, and you will be unable to see or hear anything that does not coincide with that belief. If it because your reticular activating system will literally turn it off.

Kathleen Shannon: 10:28

What's that called? Is that kind of like confirmation bias? Like you're going to look for evidence of what you believe, is not the same thing or something different.

Jay Pryor: 10:36

It is the same thing only what I mean this literally is a process in your brain that is designed again for your survival and for your ability to function and The world. But it's kind of backfires in the sense that like if you decide your dad is an ass, you can't hear anything, but my dad is an ass. If he's doing something kind or nice, you won't see that. Oh, yeah.

Kathleen Shannon: 11:00

Where are you learning about this from? Like, where can we learn more about this?

Jay Pryor: 11:03

Are you really anywhere you can google the reticular activating system, okay. And you can see medical students learning about it, you can see coaches putting up putting up diagrams about it, it's, you know, it's like, might be the new thing with the neuroscience. But for me, it just confirmed everything I already knew. But it makes so much more sense that it's like, oh, it's based on your ability to survive and filter out stuff that you don't need to function in the world. I mean, we have so much coming at us, there's no way that we could filter out all the stimulus that's coming at us. And so your brain is designed to just filter in on, you know, filter out everything that you don't need, but once you decide something, then the brain won't. It just it's like somebody this I know. I, for example, you're going to Kathleen, hold on to yourself. onto my hoo ha that has a belief that Donald Trump is benevolent.

Kathleen Shannon: 11:58

Oh, I can't I can't even have this conversation with you right now.

Unknown: 12:04

But I'd love

Kathleen Shannon: 12:07

to get to this place. I can't hear it. I cannot hear it. You're right. You're right.

Jay Pryor: 12:14

I can't hear it. Your reticular activating system just went? Right? I'm not gonna let that in.

Kathleen Shannon: 12:25

No, you know, what's so funny is I was actually practicing. metta meditation. Are you familiar? So you're showing loving kindness to yourself to an acquaintance, someone that you kind of know, but don't know, well, to a good friend, and then to someone that you can't stand. And so I've done that before, with actually Donald Trump before he became president elect and president. But, um, anyway, I had to imagine him fishing on a boat in the middle of the lake, being present with himself, but I just don't think, anyway, I can't hear it, I still can't hear it. And I meditated on it. So I actually, it's funny.

Jay Pryor: 13:04

Because I work around, whatever we're gonna see is what we're gonna see. It's like, sometimes I get freaked out that when I, when I speak, I don't say the right thing. And then I always have this message from the universe that comes in it goes, guess what, they they're there, it doesn't matter what you say. They're gonna hear what they're gonna hear. And so with the fear I was on, I want to loop back to the fear. If you have decided that something scary or something is to be feared, then that thing is going to always continue to, you know, come up for you as a fear until you get clear for yourself that that's not going to be in the way. And I would assert that being boss brings up all that stuff. I mean, wouldn't you say? Because when you're an entrepreneur, we get dealt with all the fears. Yeah, all the scary. All the things because we have to eat what we hunt. I mean, it is survival. Yeah, right. I mean, Bible systems kick in. And that's boy, how we're going to function is how are we going to survive this?

Kathleen Shannon: 14:01

Yeah, it's really interesting that you say that, because I've told people a lot of times that becoming my own boss, allowed me to cultivate faith, like never before. And I had to really believe in something bigger than myself. And whatever you want to call that the universe. Yeah, the goodwill of human beings, whatever it is, I had to have faith that I was going to be able to hunt that I was going to be able to get food on the table that next month. But I'm coming back to what you were saying about that confirmation bias. What is it again? What's the word

Jay Pryor: 14:36

reticular activating system, okay, or ra s, you can Google it.

Kathleen Shannon: 14:40

Right that so that. So that makes me think about Emily and I have been talking a lot about values and intentions lately. And I think that it's one of those things that can seem really fluffy to set a new intention or value every single month. But I think that that is a great way to activate that system to get total more of what you want. And to confirm more of those values that you want to cultivate in yourself by establishing not what you're afraid of.

Jay Pryor: 15:06

But what you actually want to have more of, right. And that's part of the power of coaching. And the power of being intentional with your work is that, you know, everybody's going around and living out of their brains by default there. Again, it's running you you're not running it. And so what we want to do is be as conscious as possible by feeding it what we want to really feed it, and that's by you know, whatever it is, it's gonna have, you know, be successful. It's why we have to surround ourselves by success and we can't get away with just, you know, hoping for things and not doing anything. So we have to be in action and do all the things to keep That keep our focus on things that will serve us and help us figure out what's next. Yeah.

Emily Thompson: 15:51

So let's talk about that like action of refocusing like, good. Sounds good. But for someone, especially you have has a hardcore like fear habit like how like, what are the actual steps of refocusing? Yeah, I

Jay Pryor: 16:08

work with a lot of people who have hardcore, I don't, I don't end up coaching because, you know, I coach high level executives. And so by the time they come to me, they may have some fear going on. But it's usually like, high level CEO fear. Because they've already they've already done a lot of fear. But I have people come through my seminars, and I've dealt with a lot of people who have a cut, it's kind of like a low level of hijack all the time, their cortisol so high, that they're always in that ruminating kind of fear. And their self talk is terrible. For one thing. So the first thing, I think that around that is gaining a muscle, little by little of mindfulness, because most of those people are not conscious of how intense you know how much that's going on. Like they're just, and they're clueless about the fact that they go negative all the time, or that they go to fear they, you know, it's just is normal for them. So they don't see anything else. And so they have to be redirected on a really regular basis. And that's almost somebody who could need to be in CBT. What is it? CBT for therapy, right? cognitive behavioral therapy. Yeah, right. Yeah, those people could be served by going to a therapist who does CBT and helping them get trained, helping them retrain their brain. The other thing that I really love to that I've been doing again, and I say that it's powerful to do all the things, I have been getting neurofeedback. And it's been amazing. I mean, it's been really great. Wait,

Kathleen Shannon: 17:37

tell me about that. Is that like physiological feedback? or?

Jay Pryor: 17:40

Yeah, it's, well, it's no, it's, um, she puts these little electrodes on my brain that measures my brain waves, or, I don't even know, to be honest, I can't, I don't speak very well about it. But here's what I get. So I'm listening to music. And as I'm listening to music, the brain is the machine she uses is monitoring my brain. If my brain drifts off, the machine clicks, and brings my back my brain back to focus. And so the idea is to train the brain to focus while I'm it's an hour setting, the the idea is to train the brain to focus. So what she's what my teacher has taught me about it, is that fear thoughts, worry, thoughts, anxiety, thoughts, all of those are not productive thoughts. And so if you're training the brain to stay productive, all those thoughts will eventually just go away. If you can train your brain to stay on task and stay productive.

Kathleen Shannon: 18:36

Yeah, what's so interesting about this is that it's not even necessarily like, Okay, how do I overcome this fear? How do I work against it, it's creating habits and routines and exercises to really learn how to focus and concentrate. And so one of the things I do not getting my brain hooked up through electrodes that might be

Unknown: 18:55

helpful for some of our listeners is pretty cool. I'd be

Kathleen Shannon: 18:59

open to it totally. But it sounds expensive. But one of the things I've noticed makes a market difference in my concentration and ability to focus is doing this candle concentration exercise where I light a candle. And I look at the flame. And it's a little bit different from meditation, someone who's kind of inexperienced at meditation might feel meditative, doing it, but it's really about concentration, not meditation. And it's about really concentrating on that flame, and having no other thoughts other than the flame into your mind. And so you kind of mark on a piece of paper every time you have a thought outside of the flame. And so I've noticed that whenever I do this, it really does help my concentration. And it helps me stay focused, which now that you say it probably helps me from becoming fearful or full of anxiety.

Jay Pryor: 19:51

Yeah, I love that. And I would say that is meditation. I mean, it's the same principle in terms of meditation, which I also believe meditation is a powerful way to at least have your brain stay on track, you know, you're getting more and more ability to have your brain stay in a direction you want it to stay in, because that's the thing about worry. And fear is they take over people. I mean, it's, you know, next thing, you know, it's real for them what's happening. And not that I haven't had that experience. I mean, just going it is about it all the time where, you know, we'll be I'll be in an anxious space or something like that. And next thing, I'll be like, what the hell this isn't happening. Nothing's happening, right? But I'm trained enough to to notice that notice I'm going there. And so part of it is it's all training and development all the time, right. We're all training ourselves. And that training development is around first of all noticing when your head goes there because Most people are completely unconscious that they're going there. And then next thing you know, they're operating out of fear. Once they're operating out of fear that turns into chaos.

Emily Thompson: 20:54

Do you have any tips for anyone to help them be more mindful of their fear to like, be more cognizant of that moment when they drift off into a place they shouldn't be?

Jay Pryor: 21:07

Yeah, I mean, I, there's all kinds of, you know, just the the meditation, neurofeedback in the candle exercise that Kathleen just mentioned are three things. The other thing that you can do is, is monitor your emotions. And you know, where you're regulated on a regular, like, if every hour you're checking in with yourself to see how do I feel, or you know what's going on, if you really check in and notice, you're going to notice when you're fearful,

Kathleen Shannon: 21:32

Oh, I love that. That would make me especially lazy person.

Emily Thompson: 21:41

I imagine that would also be a really good practice, though, for helping you identify like where your fear comes from, like, if you were to take a day and set like a one hour timer that just goes off, like every single hour to like, check in with how you feel. And if you start feeling anxious or fearful or like worried about things like look at what happened in the past hour since you checked in last time. And if nothing happened, then you know you're making that shit out. warehouse,

Jay Pryor: 22:08

shut up.

Emily Thompson: 22:10

Right, but like, but let's say you know, someone came into the room with like, an angry temper and like change your mood, then you can look and see like that there was an external thing that caused it as opposed to just you being in your head. Yeah,

Jay Pryor: 22:24

yeah. The other thing too, that I would, I would assert that this may sound kind of wacky, but you know, I'm always gonna go back there is I think that there's a certain level of integrity that I think helps keep us out of fear. Like when we're in integrity with ourselves, or they're in integrity with what what, you know, all the things, and everybody defines their own integrity. As as we all expand, we get more and more things that we want to put into integrity in our lives. But living from a place of integrity, when I'm out of integrity, that's fear. Well, you know, ego is always the 911 responder to anything, right? So egos always there to make up a story or to trash us or do whatever, when stuff happens. But when my integrity is in, then especially as a business person, I am way more apt to feel safer and more comfortable, because I know my shifts together. But when I've got a backlog of out integrity, then it's like, then if a customer's upset, I'm going to be way more reactive, because I haven't done my work. Does that makes sense?

Kathleen Shannon: 23:28

Yeah, that really does make a lot of sense.

Jay Pryor: 23:32

Oh, it makes you integrity is always going to serve you to have a foundation of integrity. But to keep the it's almost like, you know, you know, when your integrity is in, then Okay, I'm zipped up. If something goes wrong, I can own and be responsible for it. But it's not based on something that that I just let slide bikes and care, you know, like that?

Kathleen Shannon: 23:51

What are some questions or prompts that we can use to find our own integrity? Like, how do we kind of get in alignment with that?

Jay Pryor: 24:01

Well, I like to go through, you know, in my book I have I list out like six different areas of life. And so I like to try to just check in with all the different areas of life and then see for and then it goes right back to what you were talking about before. What are my values in that area? And if what am I if I value that, then how am I in integrity with that? Everything from, you know, my family, for example, I think I shared this before. I haven't watched football, I watch the football game the other day, I don't watch football and so long, because it became something that I didn't have time for given my value of family. Right. So my value, my value of family was more important to me than watching a football game that takes like, forever. It's like four or five hours of my life just got sucked out of me when I could have been, you know, dance with my wife or chilling with my kids. And it's my value of a family is bigger than than that. And so my integrity is in whatever I'm I'm more in integrity when I'm not watching football, and I'm hanging out with my family because that's what I value. So I feel better when I'm following my values. And when I feel better, you know, everything's better. So you can go through all the you know, look through just areas of life, health and well being relationships, career, your environment is a powerful one. We all know that. Like it's so important to keep the flow moving in our environment. In my coaching school, we talk about tolerations. We've talked to talked about that when we coach together. You know, what are you tolerating, what are you putting up with? And then for me, the other big one, especially as I work with women is self care. Because integrity around self care is number one. I think totally especially as a Be a boss, you just have to have integrity around yourself cares, you're going to be a boss.

Kathleen Shannon: 25:49

One of the things that I have found whenever it comes to fear and really managing it, because I will say like, I am one of those people who can really get hijacked pretty fast by my own anxiety and worry, and guilt and fear is I tell myself that I trust that I can handle the worst case scenario when it shows up. So for example, a more recent fear has been like, Oh my gosh, what if we can't sustain the success of being Boss, I trust that I'm going to be able to build or develop a business model that is different or better, or whatever it is, I trust that I can handle it. If and when that happens. Not that I'm trying to invite that. So this is another thing I want to talk about a little bit. It's like, how much fear a part of me wants to just say, I trust I can handle it, but then I'm scared that that's bringing on a challenge to the universe, like, but please don't bring it my way universe?

Jay Pryor: 26:47

Well, you know, one of the reasons My book is called lean inside is I believe that there's, and I love it, saying it this way, I've stole this from a Unity Church, I think, but that there's a power within me that is greater than any circumstance before me. And, you know, leaning inside is all about accessing that power within me. And when I'm grounded in that, and let right now for example, I'm in a really great place, like there's just I'm so clear, there's just nothing like there's nothing that is going to come before me that I won't find the grace to, to deal with. Because I have this power within me. that's greater than a circumstance before me. And so I think also, you know, managing fear for me always comes back to my spiritual practice, and spiritual practices that ground me in that hole knowing that there really is a power within me that man, if I really, when I aligned myself with that power within me, the sky's the limit. I can I everything's possible.

Unknown: 27:45

I love that. That's good.

Emily Thompson: 27:48

You, you whenever we were doing our episode about New Year's intentions, you said something to me that your dad says about like the crack of doom, crack of doom. That's exactly what I was. Yeah, I said that it made me think of a crack of doom.

Kathleen Shannon: 28:05

But yeah, like this, this crack of doom idea. But that's not an uncommon idea. And I don't think that it's his fault for teaching me that by any means. Because Rene brown even talks about it a lot in her TED Talks, this kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Jay Pryor: 28:22

Yeah. And I think that we're trained. You know, we're, if you go back to the idea that, fundamentally, as Americans, we're trained from that Puritan model of don't get too big for your britches. You know, I mean, all that stuff. This is it can get too good. You know, that whole world. That makes perfect sense to me that we all have some of that trained into us, that you got to better be careful if things are good, because there's going to be another shoe drop, or there's going to be something's gonna happen.

Emily Thompson: 28:54

Right? And that's like the exact opposite of mindfulness of like, not even allowing yourself to be happy in this moment, because the next moment, you know, something shady, is going to happen. Yeah, I feel like that does sound very Puritan.

Kathleen Shannon: 29:09

You know, what I love about you saying, this comes from an antiquated model that I don't subscribe to Now, why am I subscribing to it? Right? So that's actually helpful in itself as well. Okay. Now, we've talked a lot about fear. But I want to get really specific about some of our worst fears as bosses, and get really specific about what those are many of them which have come true for us in our work and day to day life, and many, which I think is something to point out because we all experience this shit. So we can learn to do and lots of fears that our bosses are terrified of, or really shaken up by. And I want to talk about how we deal with and cultivate resilience, whenever fear shows up in these very specific incidences and topics. So first, angry clients and projects gone wrong. Like the worst fear for a creative entrepreneur, I think, especially because we put so much of our heart and soul into our work is whenever our client says, This isn't what I thought it was going to be. Or this is not at all what I wanted. Tell us about like, and that cuts off your response.

Jay Pryor: 30:18

Yeah, it definitely does. How

Kathleen Shannon: 30:20

would you deal with that? How would you coach someone through that?

Jay Pryor: 30:22

Well, I mean, you know, it definitely depends on and I think that this varies because, you know, being a coach, I mean, I've actually had I've had clients say to me, you know, this isn't that what I thought it was gonna be in. So I want to in my contract with you, and so you know, how I've handled that is just by saying, Oh, I totally get that. And then moving on and like letting The amount of the contract. In a case where you're creating art for somebody or things like that, I think there's a lot more probably a lot more ego at stake than anything else. It However, I do think that there's this, if you can get behind the world of what's good for what is good for all, then I think that's very powerful. I think, oftentimes, if I miss a client's or I have somebody that I think it's something I think is going to happen in my business that does not manifest or does not happen. Or it happens in a way that I didn't think, or I need to let go of something, I always come from the place that, that I just dodged the bullet, like that's supposed to happen that way. And sometimes there's a little ego, if there's ego involved, then I think there's a real muscle to flex. And this is where you got to get if you're going to be a boss, and you're gonna stay as an entrepreneur, you this is like, I don't know this, you're a baller, when you can do this. I mean, this is like, this is not this is your higher math stuff. But it's like, this is when you deal with your bruised ego, you come from integrity, and you do what's right for you and your business and, and serve your clients. I mean, just you got to do those things. Does that makes sense? It does. It's like just pulling up your big pants and doing the right thing. And then you can go cry to your friends about it later or whatever. That you I do think it's important to process the emotion you don't let that get trapped in your body.

Kathleen Shannon: 32:11

Yes, I love that. You say that. Because I think that whenever I'm dealing with an angry client, I want to just make it right so fast. I want to like the my immediate responses are usually not like super awesome. But whenever I come back to my place of integrity, I do what's right for me and my business. And that doesn't always make my client happy. Right? Um, but it doesn't mean that I can't also have my feelings hurt, right? And that's never I need a business bestie or a coach or say, like, man That really hurt my feelings and totally making it mean that I'm wrong. And intellectually I know I'm not wrong. But why does it feel so bad? Yeah,

Jay Pryor: 32:52

yeah. And I think that one of the biggest hurdles, even with my high level executive, like CEO, clients, is that so much, especially women are trained to people, please. That part of the mindfulness, especially for me, like I had a situation where I was completely out of integrity a couple months ago, around gossip. And when I have gossip happen around me, the first thing I do is I say, Where am I out of integrity with gossip? Because it's coming to me, I must have created it somewhere. So I'm going to go look, right. And one of the things that I was out of integrity around was somebody had told me something that they did that if I was an authentic response, my authentic response should have been like, what the hell, man? Why did you do that? Right? And instead, I immediately went into people pleasing, because that's my safe, I'm safe. If I people please write, that's my automatic way of going into. And I caught it. I caught myself. I mean, I was able to, like, Oh, God, I did that and go clean that up with my friend and be like, you know what, that was bullshit. I should have been like, what the hell, man? And instead, I just people pleased and acquiesced. And, but I think we're so trained to do that, that when we start to not do that, it feels, we second guess it, there's a second guessing there's a, did I do the right thing, or Oh, my goodness. And I think when you're setting those kind of learning how to set those kind of boundaries is one of the most important things for entrepreneurs, because when it comes to your business, you have to learn to treat that almost like your kid, like something you would protect what I mean, like, it's your business, this is your livelihood, right. So jumping into people pleasing, is never going to serve you when it comes to to taking care of your business. However, we're so trained to do it, I assert, that we as humans are trained to do that, that that's a real big muscle to flex is to start paying attention to when are you setting good boundaries and starting to acknowledge that you're doing that, so that you can keep building that muscle? So it starts to become more and more natural for you to just say, No, this is my boundary, you know, this is, you know, this is what we agreed upon first or, you know, having integrity around your agreements is also obviously, something to have as a boss, you're going to have in place those kind of things, but

Kathleen Shannon: 35:10

Okay, one of the reasons why I love your perspective is because you used to be a woman, and now you're a man, so I'm super curious. If it did you feel like it was easier? Like Did you feel braver becoming a man in calories? Oh, totally.

Jay Pryor: 35:26

I feel so much braver as a guy. It's not even funny because people just add especially as a white man with the privilege that I have. People expect me to set boundaries. People never have a question about it like I can, but I had to learn that because it was so used to people, you know, I was so used to people pleasing that it was like I would walk into I talked about this in the book where I what I would say to myself, I'm a man or a man. Because when people would respond to me like a man, I would be shocked. Like, Oh shit, they're taking me seriously.

Kathleen Shannon: 35:59

So, pick up the monitor. I'm a man.

Jay Pryor: 36:02

I'm a man. Man, oh, man, oh, man, no matter what I say they think it's right. Oh, man, my man, man.

Kathleen Shannon: 36:11

That like this could actually be a feminist issue. Okay, I want to talk a little bit about whenever you talked about, where am I out of integrity that I am attracting gossip, because I remember one time, I specifically remember I was probably eight or nine months pregnant. And you had called me to like, just say something really nice, like your yearly gratitude. I'm grateful for you kind of thing. And I was like, I need to talk to you. Because I have been attracting a lot of internet hates, and it really hurt my feelings. And I remember you saying, Kathleen, I know that you can handle this. What is it about you that is attracting that? And so I want to talk a little bit because I think that a lot of our listeners might be afraid of kind of general criticism, whether we define that as haters or not, but just general criticism or negative feedback. Is that something that we're attracting whenever we're out of integrity? Or is there a lesson to be learned? Like, how do you handle your fear around that kind of criticism or feedback?

Jay Pryor: 37:16

Well, to be honest, I don't read it. Any of it, I don't listen to myself on podcasts or talks. And I never read it because especially around the trans thing, because I get my feelings hurt so bad. I've had I've been in newspapers, and you know, magazines out as a trans guy. And online, people say very mean things to you who are transphobic, you know, and so I'm just not, I'm not, I don't want to be an open channel to receive that. So I just don't listen to any of it. I stay in integrity with myself and my coach, and let everything else fall out where it's gonna fall out.

Emily Thompson: 37:53

I love this totally just had a lightbulb moment. So I mean, you can even think of it in terms of like, your boundaries of integrity, being what it is that you can do, like the world is gonna go on around you. People are gonna say whatever they want to say. But is it within your boundaries, have integrity, to waste your time reading that stuff when you could be doing something? Right.

Jay Pryor: 38:16

I had a rip 2016 was a big year for me around that, because so much happened. You know, we had Orlando and we've had so many black men killed on TV and those kind of things that felt to me like, Oh, my God, you know, I've never watched the news. I just I don't, I don't do well with it. And I really had I came full circle with it again, where I'm back to not watching the news. And I have a regular now I'm now I'm different in the sense that I'm given money to certain places that I know or taking care of some of those things. And I'm doing different actions in my life and sing different prayers and you know, things like that. But I'm not, I'm not into the news is all made up by people who want to fuck with my brain as far as I'm concerned. And I don't, I don't want to hear it.

Emily Thompson: 39:00

So hypnosis, you do not condone, though it

Jay Pryor: 39:03

does not serve me whatsoever.

Emily Thompson: 39:05

I love that. I love that so much in terms of giving yourself the power to cut yourself off from that, because so much of it is going to happen. Like you can't, you can't control everyone's opinion.

Jay Pryor: 39:18

No, you can't. Well, again, back to that reticular activating system and how we're raised and what we believe about things. I mean, there are just some people who are going to think that me being trans is evil, or I'm going to hell or something, you know, I mean, that's just, I'm not, I'm not out to change their minds. I really

Kathleen Shannon: 39:37

what I love, I'm not out to change their minds, because I think that whenever your need to be right, is stronger than your need to wait, what am I trying to say here?

Emily Thompson: 39:52

I don't know. But I like it.

Kathleen Shannon: 39:53

It's like, I think that whenever you're needing to be right, butts up against people whose minds you are not going to change. Like that's where all that conflict is started and with your energy, a lot

Jay Pryor: 40:06

of pain there. And you know, if you really think about harmony Well, I heard this the other day from somebody I really like said that if you think about harmony, which is what we're all out for. Harmony has discord and harmony. Also, when we're in harmony with somebody, I don't try to get you to change your note. I just stay on mine. And it's my job to stay on my note. And so I'm staying on my note, right. So I don't have to get you to change your note but I'm gonna stay on mine. And for me, and I want to say this just because I have an opportunity to do something that has just guys it's been such a revelation to me and it feels so dumb that it took me this long to figure this out. I know, it's always been important to me to be out for myself as a trans man as an authentic expression and to educate around trans stuff. But recently, with all the stuff that's gone on, I've been getting in touch more with young trans people. I've had more, you know, I don't, I think you know that I serve as an advocate for young trans people and their parents and when they need somebody to be talked to, or whatever I get a lot of people call me. And I've had more people, more young trans people since the election coming out like crazy, all over the place. And what I have discovered is, and I've hadn't thought about this before, is that just by me having a life with my wife and my kids, and having this job that I love. Young trans guys don't see themselves anywhere. In the media, they don't see themselves they don't, they don't see a future for themselves. And the trans suicide rate is like 46%, higher, you know, than most people's are 41%, something like that. It's really high. And it also clicked with me, it's like, well, if you don't have a future, what the hell, why would you want to live. And all of a sudden, it became so powerful for me to get like part of my existence and being out is just to show them that there's a future. And I've been hearing from these young people thanking me for just getting how, like, how valuable that is to them. And I had never clicked that in before. It's just been like, you know, I'm just doing nothing or blah. No, I'm I am giving them somebody to look to that. That shows them that they have a future. I can't do anything more powerful than that. That's probably the reason I can't fail because a kitten already arrived.

Unknown: 42:20

Already done.

Jay Pryor: 42:24

Everything else is icing. Yeah, that's fantastic.

Emily Thompson: 42:28

I would love to hear about how recognizing that purpose may hamper tamper any fear that may come

Kathleen Shannon: 42:37

or create more fear? Like the weight of responsibility?

Jay Pryor: 42:41

Yeah, see, I've always kind of I've never had any of that. No, I never have any of that. It just gives me a lot of freedom and a lot more purpose. And, you know, also has make knowledge my own, you know, because I was a suicidal, young, lesbian, and drinking my way through high school to try to deal with it and all the things I did, and I didn't have, you know, I remember being there was nobody on TV that looked like me. The only people that looked like me were Kristy McNichol and Jodie Foster. They were tomboys. Nobody looked like me, I didn't have anybody to relate to. And I'm how important it was when Ellen came out to the lesbian community and the gay community and all that sort of stuff. But it's so funny how we've come so far that I just, you know, you don't think about that. Right. And so for me, I've kind of come full circle back to Wow, it is so important to have healthy, normal trans people out in the world, just being ourselves. So these young trans kids have any see any kind of future for themselves? Because otherwise they don't we're not representative of the media in a kind of way that makes any sense to their future. Yeah. Well, no, no, no, I'm glad that I hear that, again, there's so much fear, I think about, I think part of dealing with our fear to have, you know, we have to be able to see ourselves have a future, right. And so I could take this back to fear and being a boss. It's like, if you can't see your future as a business person, that's scary. And sometimes being a business person means you have to step out into the unknown, right, we have to have the guts to take the risk to step out into what we don't know. And so the the thing that we can do the best is to look for mentors, role models, like you all people who are have done it and and can do it and not be so egotistical to think that I can't if they can do it, I can't do it, because there's something special about me.

Unknown: 44:33

Does that make sense? Right? Yeah, yes,

Jay Pryor: 44:36

yeah. If you can do it, I

Emily Thompson: 44:37

really, I really love this idea of like using these these boundaries of integrity to help you deal with deal with these situations like and especially like going even back to some of those like business related things with like, clients and things. Like if you're standing behind what it is that you're creating, if you know that what you're doing is good work and someone's just being angry, then is that you or is that them, and we're recognizing that and dealing with those things in in that lens as opposed to just that people pleasing, doing what it is that you want to do and then carrying that over into everything because I feel like that is such a powerful filter to go out.

Kathleen Shannon: 45:22

I also think it's a little bit of a balance, like it might be out of my integrity to make this angry clients problem affect me to the degree that it could affect me like crying into the pillow losing sleep, that is autobiography right? But it is in my integrity to respond in a way that is respected. Then and respecting the work that I do, right. So it's this balance. And I think that a lot of us, as bosses kind of want to go to that instant, well, that's your problem, you're wrong, like we so quickly want to either make them wrong or make ourselves wrong, right? We want to make ourselves wrong and give them a full refund, or we want to make them wrong and make them pay. Yeah, I think that the answer is somewhere in the middle.

Jay Pryor: 46:08

Well, or even a bigger challenge is to make everybody right. Like that you can make everybody right then. And what I mean about that is that if somebody tells me something about myself, for my integrity, the first thing to do is to look and see if there's some of that that's true. Because it might be, but that also doesn't mean that you get to take advantage of me or that you know, that there's a there's something else that I have to give up. Because that's the truth, I might be, you might tell me, I'm an asshole. And I go, yeah, I'm an asshole, and you still owe me $500, or whatever it is. Or, you know, my point is, I think that's a healthy person doesn't just poopoo away criticism, we look at it, we take it in, but we take what's ours, and we leave the rest. You know, because because not every not all of it's ours. For sure,

Emily Thompson: 46:58

I love that I love that idea of picking the pieces that apply. Because if someone doesn't like any of these situations, like Angry clients, or fights or business partners, or, or just trolls, well, maybe not trolls, I don't think they really we're not taking any of that. Or even like those internal fears that you have, like, fear is an important, it's an important emotion, it like it just in terms of like we have it because it saves us from like, you know, busy streets. And like creepy people following us, like fear is an important emotion. But I think it is important to learn to learn to filter between what's necessary and what isn't. And I also think it's important to

Jay Pryor: 47:49

keep building your muscle around what is real and what is imagined. Most of the time, it's the story about what happened that creates this fearful pneus. You know, I was just talking to a friend of mine the other day, who's in a situation that, you know, she found herself making up all kinds of stories, you know, and those stories were really fearful and she was all anxious, and she was all freaked out. And when really got down to it, none of that had happened. None of it. Like what really happened, nothing. It was all in her head, she had some stuff happen. But from there, the mind will just go crazy. And you know, so constantly reining yourself in to stay in this moment and get clear about what's really there to be afraid of, in this moment, even when I'm talking to an angry client most of the time in the moment that I'm talking to an angry client. I'm not scared most of the time, right? Yeah, I'm scared, I anticipate that that conversation. And that's scary. And then sometimes I ruminate about it afterwards. And that can be scary. But in the moment, I'm not usually that scared.

Kathleen Shannon: 49:01

I really want to point out that you mentioned this being an exercise and a practice. And even in your own talking about it, it seems like you've gone through waves and cycles of feeling fearful and then also feeling on top of the world. And I think acknowledging that nothing is permanent. So even right now you're in this on top of the world phase, how do you embrace the idea that, okay, this doesn't mean that you're always going to feel on top of the world, while at the same time trying not to manifest negative feelings that you might not necessarily want. Does that make sense?

Jay Pryor: 49:35

Yeah. And I think it's always our job for it's my job always to be in integrity with myself and in what I'm creating, and being conscious of what I'm creating. And then, you know, clearly sometimes stuff happens and I go unconscious, or, you know how and I don't want to say I go unconscious, although I think we all do. But I think more what happens is we expand, right? We get to that place where I'm on top of the world, I'm completely expansive, we expand and then that gets uncomfortable. Because something else that is our next level to take on comes and then we have and then it's our job to hurdle, that one. Right and then it becomes just the next big thing that we have to get over to be whoever we need to be to serve the world the way we want to serve it.

Emily Thompson: 50:18

It see and even even in that like I find solace in that this idea of like I can keep I can keep my fear at a minimum knowing that each of these hard things is moving me forward always. If I realize that but if if I'm of the mindset that like every scary thing that happens pushes me back. Like that's when you're gonna spiral into something nasty. Yeah.

Jay Pryor: 50:45

Don't you think that's Sexton a mindset that I always have that mindset, that the universe is always working toward my good. And that I'm always my purest motive is always to make a difference and to be someone who makes a difference in the world. And as long as I'm coming from that place, I'm clear that whatever it is, and I've also lived through so much shit, and part of it is, as the older you get, the more shit you live through, you just know, it's gonna be okay on the other side,

Kathleen Shannon: 51:11

that being old and wise, J man, I'm

Unknown: 51:13

50 years old now I

Jay Pryor: 51:16

know, it's awesome. It's pretty great. Really, I mean, it is there is such a thing as having been on the planet a little longer, you get that, it's, you're gonna be fine. You really are gonna be fine. It's all gonna be good. In the eye,

Emily Thompson: 51:32

I love that. I think that's an important thing. Important mindset shift everyone needs to make just in terms of like, there will always be a hard thing next. And you can either see it as like just the next obstacle like always think of like this hero journeys, like, you know, what did Harry Potter run into? He's my hero's journey.

Jay Pryor: 51:52

Well, I mean, I think if this is, you know, that's a good opportunity for people to look at, what is the world, what I want my life to look like, part of my thoughts for this year are kind of almost like, foot goals. Because I'm always asking you, what do you want your life to look like? It's not really about this goal, you know, that I'm going to reach. It's about what, what do you want your life to, you know, I have this amazing life, right? I never worked past two on Friday, I never go to work before one on Monday. Like this amazing life, I really like it this way. And so I've created it that way on purpose. But I purposely surround myself with people who have who believe that's possible, who are constantly in a conversation moving themselves forward. And I have very limited time for anybody else. A man really have very limited energy. I just don't have time for it.

Emily Thompson: 52:45

I think that's surrounding yourself by people who are not feeding your fears, because there are people in the world here. Yeah, like, I'm afraid of that thing to where you should be afraid of that. Why are you doing?

Jay Pryor: 52:56

That's an important point. Because being a boss, and as an entrepreneur, everybody else out in the world? First of all, nobody knows what you do. Right? Everybody thinks you don't even work for a living, right? They say,

Emily Thompson: 53:05

all of you. So all everyone recognize that no one else has anyone who knows what they do, either.

Jay Pryor: 53:12

Yeah, no, nobody knows. Nobody knows what to do, and nobody, and they think that you just have all the time in the world because you set your own schedule. And so you have all this time. So you can do all the crap that they don't, you know, there's just so weird mindset around entrepreneurs. And then on top of that, they wouldn't do it. Right. There's so many people who write in your life. But I think especially starting out like the first 10 years until I hit that 10 year mark in my business, and I was, you know, really doing well. And I could finally turn them all my family and friends and go see God doing this. I think it almost took like 10 years for them to believe me that I was going to continue to do this and be successful. Because they just wouldn't do it. They just, you know, there's so many people who were like, No, no, I got to have a nine to five paycheck and somebody's paying my insurance. That's that's not what we do. Right. But we're not the norm.

Unknown: 54:03

We're not right.

Jay Pryor: 54:03

Do you know that? Like as being boss? What is the percentage of entrepreneurs? And you know what? That's a good question.

Kathleen Shannon: 54:10

It's been a minute since we've done a survey, but that's definitely who we're targeting are people who are either aspiring to quit their day job and be their own boss, or they are already working for themselves, they might be in their first couple years, or they might be a little bit more seasoned and in their, you know, second half of second half, whatever, second decade of being boss, you're just wanting to feel a little bit less alone whenever it comes to the kinds of conversations that we're having here. So, um, you know, one other thing that I want to mention before we hang up with you in a write comes to fear is I was expressing one of my fears to Emily the other day, which felt I felt really silly about it. But I have found that whenever I shine a light on my fear by talking about it, and especially with a trusted friend, it often makes it so much better. And my fear was, what if being boss is just like any other podcast or, you know, kind of programming geared toward creative entrepreneurs. Like what if we're just one of many, and Emily was like, well, we might be to someone who is not actually invested in us or listening to us. And why is that so bad? Like, it doesn't matter. And I was like, Oh, why is that? And also we're not? So what I'm trying to say is that this idea of like leaning into it and just saying like, okay, maybe or like how you were saying earlier Jay like if someone's calling you an asshole, saying, okay, maybe I am an asshole and right yeah, so maybe we don't matter. And we also really matter.

Jay Pryor: 55:48

Yeah. But I also do think that's a great mindset to have as a business that I, somewhere along the line figured out is that having a my have enough of an abundance mentality to know that there's enough customers, or enough people that are going to resonate with me as a coach, that, you know, there's Pete and there's people who won't

Kathleen Shannon: 56:08

see, and Mine isn't even like, mining isn't even a scarcity thing so much as like, what is it all matter? We're all going to die. What does this mean? It's kind of a little bit more existential, I think.

Emily Thompson: 56:23

Do we even right, we're just a small blip on a map of time,

Unknown: 56:27

right. You're right.

Emily Thompson: 56:31

You're right, Kathleen, we're nothing.

Jay Pryor: 56:36

I actually love that actually. Because I embraced that. I love you know, I've had I remember what a climb has been do. Oh, hell, no, I just lost the Bell Rock in Arizona, the place where the vortexes are.

Kathleen Shannon: 56:50

Oh, I've never been you've been?

Jay Pryor: 56:53

I thought you'd been there. What the heck is it called? Sedona? Sedona? Yeah, yeah. So climb. I didn't climb the top of the road. But I climbed part of the rock and meditated. And I will never forget the experience of getting what a speck of dust. I was mean, I'm just so small in this vast universe, that I'm just like, poof. Like, and the insignificance of myself was so profound, that I think that's sometimes a very powerful place to come from, because then you can't fail. I mean,

Emily Thompson: 57:31

right. Right. What does your failure mean? If you're a germ on a desk might

Jay Pryor: 57:36

Thank you. I mean, wasn't mean doesn't mean shit. I mean, you swing way out there.

Kathleen Shannon: 57:42

feel awesome about this? Because I'm like, about to throw up.

Emily Thompson: 57:45

Right? So okay, so you can look at it that way, for sure. But then you can also bring it back in terms of like, what you're doing, you have to be okay enough with it and interested enough in it to do it for the next 50 years of your life. Yeah, or maybe let's not do it.

Jay Pryor: 58:01

We get bored. Right? we're bored after we have to do something different.

Kathleen Shannon: 58:08

I do exactly the themes that keeps coming up here is ego. And it does make me think whenever I get too sucked into this, like, what does it all mean? And does it even matter? That's just my ego speaking. I, whenever I'm in integrity, I would be doing this work no matter what, no matter if he was listening. Yeah,

Jay Pryor: 58:25

yes. And that's what I meant by like egos a 911 responder, because once you start letting yourself go to that place, any kind of thought pattern like that boy, ego will swoop in there in a heartbeat, and love to stir up all kinds of chaos. In my book, I call it your small because I think that it is the part of us that lives small and wants to stay small and has all those little fears. And Jessica just got me the best gift this year. I have a standing Ganesh, have you seen that is like the elder statue. I love it. Yeah, it has its foot on the mouth like a Hindu god. Right. Yeah, it's gorgeous. I can hold it up here. See? I don't know if you can see. Oh, yeah.

Kathleen Shannon: 59:09

Oh, yeah. And how does that help you with your fear?

Jay Pryor: 59:12

Well, it doesn't really help me with my fear. But

Emily Thompson: 59:16

it's just beautiful to look at.

Jay Pryor: 59:17

It is beautiful to look at. But Ganesha is the the standard ganache for business removes obstacles from your business. And so I, I love all kinds of religious iconography. And I have several Buddhism, my office and several Jesus's and all kinds of stuff, like you're

Kathleen Shannon: 59:37

just calling on all the gods.

Jay Pryor: 59:39

Right? I know. It's like, Why not? Because when

Unknown: 59:44

I can get,

Jay Pryor: 59:46

I've been saying do all the things, anything that resonates with me. And I love this. Yeah, this little statue. And I just think that there's so much of as entrepreneurs that we have, you know, you're small can come in. And that's what I mean by that, you know, the mouse is the small always run enough to the treat. It's like your ego. And Ganesha has his foot on the mouth, his head kind of keeping it at bay. And I think it's our job as humans to acknowledge this presence within us. It's so much more powerful than that ego worrying about all the little stuff, right? Because when we're coming from that place that we're not located in making a difference,

Kathleen Shannon: 1:00:22

right. I love that you have this like, I love these visual reminders, too. Are these visual statues or mantras, and keeping those in your space to remind you of what your integrity is and even what your small is having that notice there?

Jay Pryor: 1:00:39

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's so important that I don't think we can do enough to stay conscious Because I think you're designed to go unconscious, may are designed to just survive, right? And so, if you're constantly going unconscious, it's our job. And like I do all kinds of spiritual entrepreneurs group, I have another group I go to on Sundays, I stay connected on all kinds of ways. I, you know, there's just I stay in the conversation all the time, so I can stay conscious to what I'm creating, and that as long as I'm staying conscious of making that difference, no matter what, no matter what comes up, I'm gonna eventually get to the other side of it. As long as I don't quit. Quitting is the sin.

Emily Thompson: 1:01:23

And that's why you're so beaming happy.

Unknown: 1:01:27

Yeah, that's pretty good, right? Pretty good.

Emily Thompson: 1:01:29

yoga ball, by the way.

Jay Pryor: 1:01:34

I have a I had a psychiatric issue. A couple years ago, I used to have this gorgeous Aeron chair and fancy, which is awesome, but it did not do well for my sciatic nerve. So ever since then, I sent on a yoga ball. Love it. Yeah, it's pretty. Yeah,

Emily Thompson: 1:01:48

I think um, I eat this episode's gonna be one of my favorites, Jay. Thanks. I

Unknown: 1:01:53

hope so. It's been

Jay Pryor: 1:01:55

so much fun.

Emily Thompson: 1:01:57

Day, they are the best.

Kathleen Shannon: 1:01:59

Thank you so much for joining us. where can our listeners find out more? Where can they get your book,

Jay Pryor: 1:02:06

you can always get my book at Amazon or on my website. My website is Jay prior coaching calm. The pond, book called The book called The book is called lean inside seven steps to personal power, which you can get at Amazon. Or you can click on it through my website. And the podcast is called doing the work with Jay and Becca. And there's a doing the work with Jay and Becca Facebook page you can join us on and we're it's really fun where we just do coaching episodes where I sometimes I flipped to the book and we talk about a topic or I have people who have done my seminars who are local women come on and share their stories and breakthroughs they're having or sometimes we've had somebody who used to work with me a long time ago. Just have a breakthrough in a job. So she just came on and talked about that. So it's just we're having a great, great time. really a lot of fun. Well,

Kathleen Shannon: 1:02:57

thank you so much for joining us on being boss. We like so much our listeners love you so much. And it's always good to catch up.

Jay Pryor: 1:03:04

Absolutely take care of you.

Kathleen Shannon: 1:03:08

So you guys, I'm not the most tech savvy person when it comes to integrating and automating my life with software. So I was a late adopter to acuity scheduling, but once I set it up, I was so grateful and I cannot imagine my life without it. I use acuity scheduling to schedule client meetings, special projects, podcast recordings, interviews, and even coffee days with my friends. It helps me keep my calendar sane. The best part is it integrates with my Google Calendar. So anytime I update my Google Calendar, that time is automatically blocked off in acuity. There are no double bookings or meetings scheduled for when I'm on vacation or scheduled something else already. Alright, try it yourself. Sign up for a free 60 day trial of scheduling sanity at acuity scheduling calm slash being boss. Thank you for listening to being boss. Find Articles show notes and downloads at WWW dot being boss club.

Emily Thompson: 1:04:07

If you're a creative entrepreneur, Freelancer or small business owner who is ready to take your goals to the next level, check out the being boss clubhouse, a two day online retreat followed by a year of community support, monthly masterclasses book club secret episodes and optional in person retreats. Find more at www dot being boss club slash clubhouse.

Kathleen Shannon: 1:04:31

Thank you so much to our team and sponsors who make being boss possible our sound engineer and web developer Corey winter. Our editorial director and content manager Caitlin brains, our community manager and social media director Sharon luggie. And our bean counter David Austin, with support from braid creative and indicia biography.

Emily Thompson: 1:04:49

Do the work be boss? And we'll see you next week. Love it Are we really titling this one fuck fear in the face?

Jay Pryor: 1:05:14

Oh yeah. Fuck fear absolutely nothing so funny cuz I was exactly what I was gonna say. And then I thought they want me to come on just right off the bat starting to cuss it up. But I did title a lot of that title then clearly you're thinking

Kathleen Shannon: 1:05:32

like fear in the face just for now just to set the tone.

Jay Pryor: 1:05:39

Funny,

Emily Thompson: 1:05:40

right. So Jay, you can start it however you'd like. Honestly.

Kathleen Shannon: 1:05:45

Before we do that, it's gonna be a really good blooper. Let me actually introduce you to

Unknown: 1:05:53

our guest.