This is Confessions of a Closet Romantic, a podcast where I celebrate my favorite romantic TV shows, movies, books and talk about why I love them so much. Without embarrassment or shame. Mostly! In this episode we enjoy some delicious cinnamon rolls.

Who doesn't love a big soft fragrant cinnamon roll fresh from the oven? Without icing please—but if you love it, you have it.

My Scandinavian listeners know exactly what I'm talking about because we basically stole it from you —thank you very much Scandinavia— but if you live in a country without these sweet rolls, let me describe them: a soft sweet dough is rolled out, brushed with butter and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, sometimes chopped nuts, rolled up like a yule log, sliced into thick rounds and baked till gooey and golden brown.

DROOL

If you read a lot of romances, you know that in Romancelandia a particular type of hero is known as a cinnamon roll — somebody too sweet and perfect for this earth. It supposedly comes from a fake Onion profile of this sweet roll and it's absolutely hilarious —I’ll link to it in the show notes.

My definition of a cinnamon roll is: a man (usually), who’s so sweet, kind, thoughtful, with a gooey soft heart, that he's practically too good for everyone around him—but not for his love interest, who deserves all of this attention, love and affection.

Does this sound sickly sweet to you? Oh, not to me—bring on the gooey. I’ve mentioned my crazy upbringing many times, so I say bring on all the kind, consistent, empathetic loving, because it's so healing even when I'm just imagining it.

In my episode Choose Your Own Trope Adventure, I talked about how we all love and need different tropes—there's a trope out there for everybody and not one hits every person the same way.

Of course, women are the original cinnamon rolls—I’ve been fortunate enough to have female friends like this throughout my life. All credit to the empathetic, loving feminine energy that makes the world go round— I'm thinking all of my gender fluid and non-binary friends and anyone who identifies with this gorgeous energy.

Some stories lay the sweetness of this character trope on thick, in some it's much more subtle, but the overall effect is a kind, steady, empathetic hero who doesn't hesitate to express affection for the love interest without games. They’re the very definition of open hearts.

The cinnamon roll hero or cinnamon roll vibe is one of MY favorites because that’s dependability and kind steadiness is so healing. 

A lot of rom coms have secondary characters like this because they add so much to the hopeful, loving vibe. Seth Rogen, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Owen or Luke Wilson pretty much embody the cinematic cinnamon roll in most of the roles they play.

One of the ultimate cinnamon rolls is Ashton Kutcher and his bestie in No Strings Attached.

Okay one of my favorite aspects of this trope is how the hero handles his partner in any kind of distress—it’s not about being helpless but appreciating the intuitive, compassionate support.

That support needed is very particular to the character and the cinnamon roll hero is aware of what makes the character feel better. It’s not a lot to ask in an intimate relationship, but so often feels like it is— and this, my friends, is why the cinnamon roll is the best hero.

In No Strings Attached, Adam’s " friend with benefits" Emma, and her roommates are on their period and miserable at the same time, and this cinnamon roll hero knows that relief comes in the form of tiny cake with a large frosting to cake ratio. Oh and he doesn't demand sex, he spoons instead. Could this man be any more perfect.

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In The 40-year-old Virgin, Steve Carell plays Andy, a 40-year-old guy guy who just hasn't ever found the right woman to have sex with. 

When he meets Trish, she intrigues him, so he takes a chance and asks her out. On their first date, they make out and it looks like he's finally going to lose his virginity—until her teenage daughter interrupts them. 

And irony of ironies even though he's finally found the person he wants to sleep with, he agrees to hold off not because he’s scared, but because he cares so much about her needs. Hello cinnamon roll.

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In Long Shot, Seth Rogen is Fred, a scruffy freelance journalist who falls for Charlotte, played by Charlize Theron, a bright but uptight politician — the woman who used to babysit him.

After they meet at a party as adults and reconnect, Charlotte hires him to be her speech writer— she thinks he’s smart, cute and funny and after a surprise kiss during an adrenaline dump after a stressful situation, they start hooking up in secret. 

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I mean this guy is the definition of a cinnamon roll— going with the flow.

But Charlotte has presidential ambitions, and scruffy sweet Fred is bad optics, so she figures out a way to see him in secret but he’s too open-hearted and authentic for that.

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Don’t worry —this movie has the best of HEAs. What a sweetheart..

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There are as many variations on this trope as there are writers. One of my absolute favorites is the cinnamon roll who is grumpy on the outside but soft and gooey on the inside especially to the person he's interested in.

The soccer player Roy Kent on the TV show Ted Lasso is an extreme example of this. Roy is a veteran footballer on a “Star is Born” downhill slide, and when he's out on one of his first dates with the model Keeley, paparazzi come up to them, and this is how Roy handles that. I haven't seen this whole series yet, I'm waiting to binge both seasons, but I can't wait.

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So many romance novels have gorgeous… perfect… sweet/hot cinnamon roll heroes—you know I'll hook you up in the show notes. 

I wish more rom coms and romantic movies did, but all that caring  probably isn't dramatic enough for the big screen.

In Always Only You by Chloe Liese, Ren Bergman is a sensitive soul who loves Shakespeare, but is also a Swedish-American ginger hulk of a man who plays professional hockey -- without violence.

Frankie is the team’s snarky social media manager who lives with autism and has a huge crush on him. 

Ren’s Mr. Positive on the team, the sunshine to Frankie’s rain, but also a quiet, private person. She wants to gets to know him better, and doesn’t realize that the girl he secretly has a crush on—his mystery lady— is her. 

One night they’re sharing some tea and a joint—as one does— and lips loosen, and tea gets spilled, too. Oh this big ol’ tender softy grabs my heart.

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In Amped, Jones is a big burly bear of a roadie with chronic back pain who worries for his career. During a music festival he falls for Liz, the sexy, caring, curvy keyboard player in a rock band.

On one of their first dates, he takes her to a waterfall that meant a lot to him growing up but she slips and falls, and then he finds himself with an opportunity to help her with her pain.

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This is been so much fun but I'm off to do a little baking of my own. Seriously -- I'm a really good baker—my German  grandmas taught me well.