WEBVTT 00:00:09.699 --> 00:00:13.300 Hello, and welcome to the Kalamazoo church of Christ podcast. 00:00:13.539 --> 00:00:14.839 Thank you so much for listening. 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:16.199 We're startup church. 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:23.460 We just planted in September, 2020 and at the Kalamazoo church, we believe that Christianity is done best when it is done together. 00:00:23.539 --> 00:00:32.299 And so if you live in the Kalamazoo area, we would love to connect be it coming to a Sunday service, one of our small groups, or even just grabbing coffee with a member to learn more. 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:36.439 You can visit kalamazoo.church in order to do that. 00:00:36.979 --> 00:00:40.399 We pray that you are inspired by what you hear today. 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:43.000 Hey everybody, it's Jaren Singh here. 00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:48.240 You are about to listen to a podcast on parenting. 00:00:48.740 --> 00:00:55.119 This is the start of a series that we're going to be doing intermittently over the next few months. 00:00:55.619 --> 00:01:04.239 And it's by Tom and Lori Wilson, specifically targeting families with children, third grade and under, and we want to make it as practical as possible. 00:01:04.640 --> 00:01:10.019 We really hope that you enjoy what you hear and that you're able to put some of it into practice. 00:01:10.680 --> 00:01:11.159 Thanks. 00:01:11.319 --> 00:01:13.219 And I hope you enjoy the lesson. 00:01:17.420 --> 00:01:18.379 Really cool. 00:01:18.459 --> 00:01:19.719 Getting to know everybody. 00:01:19.719 --> 00:01:24.219 And even last Sunday when I was down here, all the kids running around. 00:01:24.420 --> 00:01:26.620 It's such a great thing to have. 00:01:27.060 --> 00:01:33.879 We were fortunate to have the same kind of setup when our kids were little. 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:35.120 We have two adults. 00:01:37.900 --> 00:01:38.299 They're not little anymore. 00:01:38.299 --> 00:01:38.480 They're not little. 00:01:39.079 --> 00:01:52.159 Our son's 39 and our daughter's 36, but they grew up in the church and learned a lot about life and God and all of that as a result. 00:01:52.519 --> 00:01:56.040 But there's no perfect parents. 00:01:56.840 --> 00:01:58.819 You're never going to be perfect at this. 00:01:58.939 --> 00:02:00.260 We certainly weren't. 00:02:00.480 --> 00:02:03.859 And there certainly are no perfect children either. 00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:08.419 Even though at times you might think, oh, what a precious child. 00:02:09.038 --> 00:02:15.520 Just give that about 20 minutes and then you'll change your mind, as you know. 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:35.180 But, you know, our job as parents is just to try to get them to a place in life as they grow up and learn about life and the world where they can make the same kinds of decisions that we all made, and that was to make Jesus the Lord of our lives. 00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:39.080 That's really the ultimate goal of what parenting is all about. 00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:45.219 Not just to have kids, but what's the purpose of all of that? 00:02:45.719 --> 00:02:53.180 And certainly we, even to this day, we have a great relationship with our son and daughter and they call all the time. 00:02:53.539 --> 00:02:54.819 Our son's in Tennessee. 00:02:55.219 --> 00:02:56.199 He's a forester. 00:02:57.000 --> 00:03:01.659 Our daughter's down in Florida, just outside of Orlando. 00:03:01.659 --> 00:03:10.219 She's a TA for the school, actually, that our grandson goes to. 00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:14.280 So this is a lifelong thing. 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:27.479 Even though our kids have been out of the house a good long time, we're still mom and dad and there's still parenting that goes on, although very discreetly these days. 00:03:27.479 --> 00:03:30.319 Yeah, we tread carefully on that. 00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:35.960 Jaron's got his dad living here with his wife, Angela. 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:47.379 I should have talked about your dad last week when I did that lesson on humility, but here's this snotty-nosed little kid that's now your evangelist. 00:03:51.379 --> 00:03:54.319 But anyway, we'll pass a few things on. 00:03:54.319 --> 00:04:03.479 We'll have time for questions and answers and then what Jaron asked, and we're more than willing to do, is that this will be kind of like a little introduction. 00:04:03.780 --> 00:04:18.560 We'll give you some practical stuff and then, you know, maybe in another two to three months we'll come back down and do something else and we can kind of shape these classes depending on whatever you feel like the needs are here. 00:04:19.149 --> 00:04:24.339 There's an unlimited number of topics to talk about when it comes to raising kids, right? 00:04:25.740 --> 00:04:39.120 So let's start all the way back towards the beginning of life in Genesis and we'll look at a couple passages here, one in Genesis and another one in Judges. 00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:52.000 The setting here, this is kind of a bizarre little situation with Abraham and Sarah and the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. 00:04:52.220 --> 00:05:06.740 You probably have read about them and the ungodliness that was there, but some things take place that are also kind of bizarre, but we'll pick it up in verse 16. 00:05:07.500 --> 00:05:19.339 Chapter 18, verse 16, sorry, it says, when the men got up to leave, they looked down towards Sodom and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. 00:05:19.699 --> 00:05:25.839 Then the Lord said, shall I hide from Abraham what I'm about to do to Abraham? 00:05:27.220 --> 00:05:29.980 No, I was going to say do to them. 00:05:30.500 --> 00:05:34.180 Okay, that one definitely has to be edited on the recording, Jaron. 00:05:36.740 --> 00:05:40.100 We've been just fine, you haven't edited it, that's where I'm at, Jaron. 00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:42.420 This is the snot nose, the snot nose. 00:05:42.420 --> 00:05:44.600 No, no, no, you can keep going, I don't care. 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:48.579 We definitely should have stopped at Starbucks before we came here. 00:05:51.079 --> 00:05:59.740 Then in verse 18, Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. 00:06:00.269 --> 00:06:17.079 For I have chosen him so that he will direct his children and his household after them to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just so that the Lord will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him. 00:06:18.139 --> 00:06:58.720 So in the midst of a totally ungodly setting, a lot of corruption, a lot of sin, he highlights Abraham, that he's going to have Abraham direct his children on how they should live according to the way and that that's what would the future generations become, you know, and as you read through the book of Genesis, you find out that the nation of Israel became larger and larger and larger and for much of the time they walked with God, they were blessed, and they continued to grow. 00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:32.420 Then, you know, a long time goes by and there's the story of the book of Judges, we can go ahead and turn there, Judges 2, and it's interesting because there is a correlation between our personal righteousness, our obedience, our desire and our ability to walk with God and things going well. 00:07:33.060 --> 00:07:35.399 God blesses those who stay righteous. 00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:39.500 It doesn't mean that we're immune from things that happen in the world. 00:07:40.199 --> 00:08:04.240 We just got news, some friends of ours, people that Jaron and Bianca know, great Christians, two beautiful children, they had a third child and just found out that the child was born with some very serious health issues that literally will change the course of her life and their life, and you think, why did that happen? 00:08:04.439 --> 00:08:21.420 I mean, here's two people that are walking with God and have walked with God, and so we're not immune from things like that, but there is a blessing even in that, now there's a way to deal with hardships in life because we have the Lord. 00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:49.940 If their hearts get bitter, which I'm pretty confident they are not going to get bitter because they're great disciples and great Christians, but if things that happen to us in the world cause our hearts to get so bitter that we turn away from God, then it's only a matter of time before we feel the consequences of that, we see the consequences of it, and that's really what the book of Judges is all about. 00:08:50.200 --> 00:09:16.120 When things were going well, people loved God and walked with God, and then they were blessed, and then when things got a little complacent, like they took God for granted, they started to drift and they got into evil, and then God had to punish them, bring about curses many times in the form of foreign nations invading and things like that. 00:09:16.860 --> 00:09:25.779 So early on in Judges, we read this, and let's start in verse 6, chapter 2. 00:09:26.580 --> 00:09:33.659 After Joshua had dismissed the Israelites, they went to take possession of the land, each to his own inheritance. 00:09:34.299 --> 00:09:44.100 The people served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things that the Lord had done for Israel. 00:09:44.879 --> 00:10:00.139 Joshua, son of Nun, servant of the Lord, died at the age of 110, and they buried him in the land of his inheritance at Timnath, Paris, in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gahash. 00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:05.259 After that, a whole generation had been gathered to their fathers. 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:13.480 Another generation grew up who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel. 00:10:15.429 --> 00:10:20.320 Then the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the Lord and served the Baals. 00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:25.240 They forsook the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of Egypt. 00:10:25.740 --> 00:10:30.419 They followed and worshipped various gods of the peoples around them. 00:10:31.059 --> 00:10:38.179 They provoked the Lord to anger because they forsook him and served the Baals and the Ashtoreths. 00:10:38.840 --> 00:10:50.500 In his anger against Israel, the Lord handed them over to raiders who plundered them and sold them to their enemies all around, whom they were no longer able to resist. 00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:53.460 And then it goes on from there. 00:10:54.059 --> 00:11:01.419 But here's a tragic tale of a generation that witnessed everything God had done. 00:11:02.419 --> 00:11:16.700 They felt the blessings of God themselves, but then after they were gone, there was something missing, and it got revealed right here that they weren't passing this on to their children. 00:11:17.679 --> 00:11:28.080 And so when there is an absence of God, it's not just a void, it's we as people tend to gravitate towards sin, towards evil. 00:11:29.500 --> 00:11:40.059 You know, in the world we could put classifications of sin and evil and corruption, but in the eyes of the Lord, all sin is sin. 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:49.799 Murder and being angry, according to the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus preached, are all in the same category. 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:54.159 And that's what happens when there's an absence of God. 00:11:54.340 --> 00:12:03.779 So I think one of the things that is absolutely true for us is that we've been given the blessing of having children. 00:12:04.440 --> 00:12:09.980 We have them for a short time while we're still highly influential in their lives. 00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:19.200 In fact, at most of these ages, you can tell them no and yes and stop, and they pretty much do that because you're the boss. 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:33.379 But then as they get older, you guys know with the older one, God has also blessed them with a mind of their own, which is either a blessing or at times a curse. 00:12:34.919 --> 00:12:37.820 Oh, now they start thinking for themselves. 00:12:40.620 --> 00:12:43.139 So Lori's going to share a couple of things here. 00:12:43.340 --> 00:12:50.460 I think one of the points is the thing that's so important right now is that we all have this opportunity. 00:12:50.799 --> 00:12:53.799 We learned it from other people that were in the church. 00:12:53.799 --> 00:12:57.580 You're learning some things from us and from other people. 00:12:58.169 --> 00:13:06.399 But there's really not a place in the world where we have been taught how to have a marriage or how to have a family. 00:13:07.139 --> 00:13:12.519 It's at best typing something in on the Internet and trying to come up with some things. 00:13:13.100 --> 00:13:15.220 Maybe that works a little bit. 00:13:15.399 --> 00:13:17.620 Maybe you get some bad advice. 00:13:18.379 --> 00:13:19.980 I don't know if you've ever experienced that. 00:13:21.820 --> 00:13:34.700 But there's no place that we have in life where we're taught probably the most important thing outside of how to be a responsible human being, how to be married and how to raise children. 00:13:35.179 --> 00:13:37.320 So Lori's going to share some stuff on this. 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:39.019 Yeah, just a little bit. 00:13:40.620 --> 00:13:47.779 So thinking about, we're talking about children, parenting, but before parenting, we need to look at our marriage. 00:13:48.419 --> 00:13:51.740 Because you guys are your role models for your kids. 00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:53.639 That's what they're looking at. 00:13:53.700 --> 00:13:56.039 That's looking at you and everything. 00:13:57.100 --> 00:14:02.539 In Psalm 127.1 it says, unless the Lord builds the house, it's builder's labor in vain. 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:08.779 And so obviously God has a plan for us to build our house on him. 00:14:09.639 --> 00:14:19.139 God has got to be the center of your home, center of your lives in order for them to understand even anything that you're trying to teach them. 00:14:19.539 --> 00:14:21.799 They're going to know it's from God. 00:14:23.019 --> 00:14:30.820 Matthew 22.37, you know, the passage that talks about, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. 00:14:31.539 --> 00:14:32.840 Love your neighbor as yourself. 00:14:33.000 --> 00:14:38.259 It's really about putting God a priority in your family. 00:14:38.759 --> 00:14:40.700 It's a priority for us as disciples. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:48.700 Obviously God comes first, but it comes, God comes first in our families as well. 00:14:51.200 --> 00:15:06.200 And kids, they're looking at you, and really kids today, I think, because of where marriages are going and, you know, just so many different things in marriages and families now, all the things that are happening. 00:15:06.820 --> 00:15:10.940 They, you know, they really need to see parents that love each other. 00:15:11.960 --> 00:15:13.519 They really need to see that. 00:15:14.019 --> 00:15:21.460 It basically, it gives them, you know, it gives them some security. 00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:28.799 It gives them a vision of what they could have for their future, you know, when they grow up and become adults. 00:15:30.659 --> 00:15:43.360 They need to see parents that are devoted to God and basically just taking time, not only individually, but together even, you know, to be devoted to God in that way. 00:15:43.480 --> 00:15:46.019 So it's really a lot about priorities. 00:15:46.340 --> 00:16:04.220 God first, you know, and then basically when we talk about, you know, our walk with God, it's God first, and then it's our spouse, which is the closest relationship that we have on earth. 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:08.240 It should be our spouse, and then our children come after that. 00:16:08.740 --> 00:16:12.820 So that's kind of the lineup for the priorities. 00:16:15.179 --> 00:16:30.240 But yeah, I just think that, you know, even with single parents too, and I don't know if you know having single parents in the church or anything, but it's hard for single parents because they have to be the father and the mother. 00:16:31.299 --> 00:16:34.320 But still with godly principles, it works. 00:16:34.639 --> 00:16:35.059 It works. 00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:37.799 God, there's nothing impossible for God. 00:16:39.879 --> 00:16:40.299 Amen. 00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:41.340 So priorities. 00:16:43.179 --> 00:16:44.419 Is it my turn now? 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:45.980 You may go. 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:46.779 Okay, good. 00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:50.539 Why don't you turn with me to Hebrews 5? 00:16:50.539 --> 00:16:55.549 But if you don't feel like it, you don't have to. 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:12.279 So the book of Hebrews in a nutshell is about a bunch of people, Romans, that were following God, and then they were faithful to God. 00:17:12.440 --> 00:17:16.759 They made a lot of sacrifices in order to serve him. 00:17:16.759 --> 00:17:25.180 Probably risked a lot of persecution from family and their clans that they were a part of. 00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:34.279 And then later on in their walk with God, it just kind of got complacent, and we find them drifting back to what they escaped. 00:17:34.779 --> 00:17:36.579 It'd be the same thing for us. 00:17:37.599 --> 00:17:45.500 I grew up a little bit religious, but if I ever walked away from God, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't go to another religion. 00:17:45.500 --> 00:17:47.680 I'd just go back to the world. 00:17:48.660 --> 00:17:53.599 You know, other people, they do go back to some form of religion. 00:17:54.339 --> 00:18:04.720 But anyway, in this little section, the writer of Hebrews is addressing some of these things. 00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:09.359 And let's pick it up in verse 11. 00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:15.180 It says we have much to say about this, but it's hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 00:18:15.900 --> 00:18:23.000 In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's Word all over again. 00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:26.420 You need milk, not solid food. 00:18:27.079 --> 00:18:33.880 Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 00:18:34.619 --> 00:18:43.819 But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. 00:18:44.460 --> 00:18:58.200 So this is talking about adult people, but in referencing them as young Christians, they're infants, which is true for all of us. 00:18:58.299 --> 00:19:02.099 I was an infant when I was 26, spiritually speaking. 00:19:02.839 --> 00:19:04.759 That's when we were baptized. 00:19:04.980 --> 00:19:08.160 That was a few years ago. 00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:12.319 1982, Tampa, Florida. 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:20.960 And so even though we were kind of semi-adults, we were viewed by God as infants. 00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:23.099 Hey, you just started walking with me. 00:19:23.220 --> 00:19:24.359 Now you're my child. 00:19:24.660 --> 00:19:35.680 And so when we started studying the Bible, which we really hadn't done up to that point, everything we were learning was new and fresh, and we started with the basics. 00:19:35.960 --> 00:19:48.480 We didn't understand the complexities of the Word, the connection between the Old Testament and the New Testament, and all the little threads that run from Genesis to Revelation. 00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:54.059 That was way above our intellect at that time. 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:55.660 We needed to learn the basics. 00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:58.140 And it's the same way with your kids. 00:19:58.140 --> 00:20:00.839 They don't know nothing from nothing. 00:20:00.940 --> 00:20:14.880 They know that you're mom and dad and that you love them, you provide for them, you care for them, but they don't really know anything about God at all other than what you're going to pass on to them. 00:20:15.779 --> 00:20:19.579 And so early on, it's just basic things. 00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:29.460 A simple little prayer before you eat, a little prayer before you go to bed, a little talk about, oh, isn't God amazing? 00:20:29.660 --> 00:20:31.500 Look at the flowers that He created. 00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:34.839 Just, you know, simple little things. 00:20:35.099 --> 00:20:45.519 We're just planting ideas in the kid's head that will be later on developed into more deeper understanding of God. 00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:48.000 And we all have the ability to do that. 00:20:48.359 --> 00:20:52.079 In fact, we can do that with each other's children. 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:56.440 That was one of the greatest joys, I think, when our kids were little. 00:20:56.680 --> 00:21:03.220 We had groups like this, and we all kind of interacted with each other's children. 00:21:03.579 --> 00:21:08.319 And we were kind of viewed as aunts and uncles with each other's kids. 00:21:08.500 --> 00:21:15.099 And I think it's such a healthy environment, really a biblical kind of environment for kids to grow up in. 00:21:15.880 --> 00:21:24.079 But then you got to learn the basics before you can chew on the solid food, evidently, to what the writer is saying here. 00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:36.119 But then when we do start eating the solid food, it says now we're getting acquainted with the teaching on righteousness. 00:21:36.539 --> 00:21:38.539 Like, what does it really mean? 00:21:39.240 --> 00:21:46.519 Our kids need to go from just simply being obedient to really having a mind and a heart. 00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:52.720 Even as they're little and they start to grow, like, oh, I know why I should obey. 00:21:52.960 --> 00:22:00.000 I know why mom wants me to do this or why dad says don't do that, those types of things. 00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:04.000 They're now acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 00:22:05.019 --> 00:22:14.099 And then it says in verse 14, solid food is for the mature who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. 00:22:16.680 --> 00:22:27.220 Any of us, we could, with a little bit of spiritual background, we can look at the news, know what's going on in the world, hear different things. 00:22:27.220 --> 00:22:37.259 And we can kind of sift through what's compatible with scriptures and God's thoughts compared to what is just purely from the world. 00:22:37.900 --> 00:22:44.240 It's really pretty easy to do if you have a basic understanding of what the Bible is all about. 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:49.500 Some get a little more convoluted and complex issues of this day. 00:22:49.500 --> 00:23:02.079 I think the things that your kids are going to have to deal with are probably even more intense than the things our kids had to deal with at their ages. 00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:06.599 Because the world is so much different right now than it was. 00:23:07.940 --> 00:23:12.940 And I'm pretty sure my parents felt the same way about our children. 00:23:13.140 --> 00:23:17.779 Like, oh, I can't believe what they have to deal with compared to, you know. 00:23:17.779 --> 00:23:27.039 I think every generation, which is a commentary on life, but it's also a commentary on the world keeps getting more worldly. 00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:37.720 And if we're not careful, we can get sucked right in thinking that it's OK when we lose connection with what the scriptures actually teach. 00:23:38.559 --> 00:23:53.500 So from simple little conversations to now extrapolate that out a little bit to when they're in their early teens, late teens, and even into adulthood. 00:23:53.859 --> 00:24:05.220 Now our influence with them actually starts to become less because they're away from us more in school and activities. 00:24:05.220 --> 00:24:08.000 If they play sports, there's even more time away. 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:09.480 I think it's all good. 00:24:09.559 --> 00:24:10.400 It's healthy. 00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:23.640 But now we've got to help them get to a point where they themselves now can distinguish good from evil so that they're making the right kind of choices. 00:24:24.500 --> 00:24:32.599 I think at times, Lori and I probably more so were overprotective, especially of our daughter. 00:24:34.019 --> 00:24:37.619 And then, I don't know, she was in junior high. 00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:39.500 I don't know what you want to say. 00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:43.039 So I remember it very clearly. 00:24:44.259 --> 00:24:50.740 I was overprotective of her, but we've been teaching her about things throughout her whole life. 00:24:50.839 --> 00:24:54.539 She was probably, I'm guessing, maybe 12 at this point. 00:24:55.220 --> 00:25:01.440 And there were a bunch of her friends that wanted to go downtown Elmhurst, Illinois, where we lived at the time. 00:25:02.220 --> 00:25:06.940 There was a carnival going on and rides and games and all that kind of stuff. 00:25:07.019 --> 00:25:07.619 And I said, no. 00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:11.799 And then she was upset. 00:25:12.019 --> 00:25:13.900 Lori was a little upset with me. 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:23.579 And then she said to me, you know, how am I ever going to prove to you that I'm trustworthy if you don't trust me? 00:25:24.259 --> 00:25:26.119 And I went, there it is. 00:25:26.700 --> 00:25:29.819 So now it's the test of our parenting. 00:25:29.819 --> 00:25:36.299 Did we put in the right stuff, and are they going to make some right choices along the way? 00:25:36.759 --> 00:25:38.960 But every kid has to do that. 00:25:39.200 --> 00:25:59.299 And at this age, we're giving them now, from little nuggets to more deeper conversations and teaching, the ability for them to now have the word in their heart, so that when they're out on their own, they have the ability to distinguish good from evil. 00:25:59.960 --> 00:26:00.519 Amen? 00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:02.519 All right. 00:26:05.000 --> 00:26:06.460 A couple other passages. 00:26:06.700 --> 00:26:10.859 We can make copies of these notes if you guys want some of our notes. 00:26:13.059 --> 00:26:14.880 You can plagiarize us, whatever. 00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:21.660 You probably are plagiarizing other people that have taught us, so it's all fair, right? 00:26:23.859 --> 00:26:28.960 Another passage, 1 Timothy 4.7, train yourself to be godly. 00:26:29.539 --> 00:26:39.960 That's the ultimate goal for a child as they start getting older and become adults, to train themselves and some other things. 00:26:40.539 --> 00:26:58.299 So for the bulk of our time, and we'll do some questions and answers after this little section, I want us to talk about three, four, what we feel like are really vital areas. 00:26:59.319 --> 00:27:06.240 Some of these we'll spend a little more time on than others, and then if you have questions, we'll open it up. 00:27:06.420 --> 00:27:06.579 Amen? 00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:09.240 You guys with us so far? 00:27:09.299 --> 00:27:10.420 All right, good. 00:27:11.180 --> 00:27:14.180 I'm thinking about lunch when I look at Andrea. 00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:20.220 I think about the pansette that she's made for us for lunch. 00:27:20.539 --> 00:27:22.359 You guys aren't invited, by the way. 00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:31.279 That's all to say we're not going to keep you all day. 00:27:34.059 --> 00:27:39.539 Number one area, daily spiritual input. 00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:43.180 Oh, it sounds so overwhelming. 00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:44.640 I've got to do this every day. 00:27:46.859 --> 00:27:50.200 But this doesn't have to be a big deal. 00:27:50.539 --> 00:27:54.480 It's just every day, some little thing. 00:27:54.799 --> 00:28:00.839 Like I said earlier, a little prayer here, a little prayer there, a little conversation there. 00:28:00.839 --> 00:28:03.920 Hey, who do you think put the sun in the sky? 00:28:05.579 --> 00:28:09.599 You know, you have a fun little conversation with one of your kids. 00:28:10.660 --> 00:28:21.980 I think it's good to be in the habit of some kind of scheduled time where you have like a little family devotional. 00:28:21.980 --> 00:28:29.359 Depending on the age of the kids, this could last anywhere from a minute to maybe 20 minutes. 00:28:30.839 --> 00:28:34.559 And it could take any form or another. 00:28:34.759 --> 00:28:36.279 It could be one scripture. 00:28:36.619 --> 00:28:38.660 It could be one thought. 00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:50.960 As our kids started to get a little older and now they're off into sports and school activities and things like that, we tried to do that at the dinner table. 00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:55.259 But even that became different because practice schedules. 00:28:55.599 --> 00:28:57.460 My son played football and wrestled. 00:28:57.619 --> 00:28:58.960 Our daughter was a swimmer. 00:28:59.500 --> 00:29:02.839 And she was a social track girl. 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:05.559 She was not very good. 00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:07.559 She was a real good swimmer. 00:29:07.819 --> 00:29:09.279 She was not very good at track. 00:29:09.559 --> 00:29:11.440 She did it because her friends were there. 00:29:12.380 --> 00:29:14.559 But nonetheless, they were going to practice. 00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:19.180 So you have to be creative a little bit about it. 00:29:19.180 --> 00:29:21.359 Anything else you want to say there? 00:29:22.299 --> 00:29:28.500 No, I think what he said earlier, that we're preparing them for their future. 00:29:28.900 --> 00:29:33.299 So it's just a daily thing that you're trying to get them into good habits. 00:29:34.119 --> 00:29:37.920 I hate to say habit, but you're teaching them how to walk with God. 00:29:38.019 --> 00:29:41.059 So you're bringing up God in a conversation. 00:29:41.740 --> 00:29:43.559 Just even godly principles. 00:29:43.880 --> 00:29:47.140 They'll come home from school and say, this happened. 00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:48.799 And then you can talk about it. 00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:52.220 But it's all age appropriate because we have different age kids. 00:29:53.220 --> 00:29:55.460 Your kids are all different ages. 00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:58.359 Yours are maybe the youngest in here. 00:29:58.440 --> 00:29:58.819 I don't know. 00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:00.619 But age appropriate. 00:30:01.079 --> 00:30:08.359 So you're just trying to get God in the picture and Jesus and helping them to have a spiritual thoughts. 00:30:08.359 --> 00:30:10.180 Even sharing a scripture. 00:30:10.599 --> 00:30:14.319 If they see you having a quiet time, seeing you read your Bible. 00:30:15.059 --> 00:30:18.019 You could share something that you've learned from it. 00:30:18.460 --> 00:30:21.579 They probably won't come up and say, what are you reading? 00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:23.440 They might not. 00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:24.119 They might. 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:24.819 I don't know. 00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:27.099 But that's an opportunity. 00:30:27.259 --> 00:30:27.960 It's an open door. 00:30:28.079 --> 00:30:34.019 So look for open doors to have a spiritual moment with them on a daily basis. 00:30:34.019 --> 00:30:38.299 And that helps them to really get more familiar. 00:30:38.539 --> 00:30:41.940 So it's not like, we're going to church on Sunday. 00:30:42.079 --> 00:30:43.980 We're going to talk about God on Sunday. 00:30:44.559 --> 00:30:47.059 We're going to talk about God every day. 00:30:47.380 --> 00:30:48.579 Because that's our life. 00:30:48.660 --> 00:30:53.640 And that's what you want to definitely build from that. 00:30:57.200 --> 00:31:01.480 Number two is commitment to the body. 00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:03.799 You guys know this. 00:31:03.980 --> 00:31:05.079 You guys come to church. 00:31:05.220 --> 00:31:05.819 That's pretty good. 00:31:05.940 --> 00:31:07.359 Christians usually do that. 00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:09.200 Or at least they should. 00:31:10.660 --> 00:31:13.220 And it's more than just coming to church. 00:31:13.380 --> 00:31:15.940 You're involved in each other's lives. 00:31:16.200 --> 00:31:18.160 And that grows and changes. 00:31:18.940 --> 00:31:21.000 Even though you guys are the newest ones, right? 00:31:22.279 --> 00:31:22.660 Sarah. 00:31:22.660 --> 00:31:23.440 Oh, you and Sarah. 00:31:23.660 --> 00:31:23.759 Yeah. 00:31:25.960 --> 00:31:29.740 But it was great getting to meet you and your husband last week. 00:31:29.740 --> 00:31:31.200 I'm sorry he's not feeling well. 00:31:31.259 --> 00:31:31.900 He was sick. 00:31:32.019 --> 00:31:32.519 Is he okay? 00:31:32.700 --> 00:31:33.799 He's pretty good. 00:31:34.140 --> 00:31:34.640 Oh. 00:31:34.980 --> 00:31:35.660 Almost better. 00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:36.579 All right. 00:31:38.019 --> 00:31:41.920 But, you know, we started out that way as well. 00:31:42.059 --> 00:31:45.700 The first Sunday we went to church, this girl had been inviting us. 00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:47.819 And we finally went to church with her one Sunday. 00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:50.700 And she was late coming to church. 00:31:50.940 --> 00:31:52.839 So we walked in. 00:31:53.400 --> 00:31:55.819 The service was about ready to get started. 00:31:55.819 --> 00:32:06.859 So we walk in, not knowing a soul in this entire building, probably 175 people at that time. 00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.759 And then the ushers say, oh, you're new here. 00:32:10.859 --> 00:32:12.400 Come on, let me help you find a seat. 00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:16.680 And they take us down and they put us in the front row. 00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:19.660 And we're, like, freaking out. 00:32:19.720 --> 00:32:22.380 Because everybody's polite and nice and friendly. 00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:23.720 And they're smiling at us. 00:32:23.720 --> 00:32:24.559 We were on display. 00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:31.680 And then this friend of ours, Susan, she finally shows up. 00:32:31.819 --> 00:32:33.279 We see her afterwards. 00:32:34.240 --> 00:32:42.759 But it made such a big impression that we stayed for, like, an hour after church because she introduced us to people. 00:32:43.000 --> 00:32:44.119 People were coming up. 00:32:44.299 --> 00:32:51.720 And that was the beginning of kind of getting integrated into that family of believers that we were a part of. 00:32:51.720 --> 00:32:57.819 So when we had our first child, he was like a community baby. 00:33:00.539 --> 00:33:02.000 He was born. 00:33:02.380 --> 00:33:04.200 And he got to stay home for at least a week. 00:33:04.440 --> 00:33:07.759 But then he's, I don't know if he did, did he? 00:33:08.359 --> 00:33:08.740 What? 00:33:09.079 --> 00:33:10.720 When Marty first came to church. 00:33:12.440 --> 00:33:12.980 Oh, yeah. 00:33:13.799 --> 00:33:14.119 OK. 00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:14.759 Anyway. 00:33:16.859 --> 00:33:27.460 But we wanted him to feel comfortable with all these other people. 00:33:27.920 --> 00:33:33.640 And so we would frequently just give him to somebody that we knew, not a total stranger. 00:33:34.380 --> 00:33:35.599 Give him to somebody. 00:33:36.259 --> 00:33:37.599 Part to free us up. 00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:44.519 But part of it was intentional so that he would get comfortable being around other kids. 00:33:44.779 --> 00:33:47.259 And somebody told us that this was a good idea. 00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:49.140 And it actually proved to be. 00:33:49.140 --> 00:33:53.359 So that when he came to church, he wasn't wigged out as an infant. 00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:58.119 But he regularly got asked, oh, there he goes over there. 00:33:58.579 --> 00:34:00.299 And that kind of stuff. 00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:01.380 You got to keep tabs on him. 00:34:01.539 --> 00:34:01.839 Yeah. 00:34:01.900 --> 00:34:02.480 Where is he? 00:34:02.740 --> 00:34:04.859 Yeah, especially when they start walking. 00:34:05.059 --> 00:34:06.119 Then, oh my goodness. 00:34:06.980 --> 00:34:07.739 As you know. 00:34:09.780 --> 00:34:13.159 But then here's what happens a lot of times with parents. 00:34:13.300 --> 00:34:15.739 And I'm not making any assumptions here. 00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:18.280 I'm assuming you guys are awesome at this. 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:21.079 Maybe, maybe not. 00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:23.679 You can talk about it amongst yourselves later. 00:34:24.199 --> 00:34:27.940 But a lot of times, parents hide behind their children. 00:34:29.239 --> 00:34:33.739 The children are now the excuse for us to leave early. 00:34:34.039 --> 00:34:35.079 To not come. 00:34:35.739 --> 00:34:37.880 To miss certain things. 00:34:39.079 --> 00:34:44.460 Get overly obsessed about bedtimes and naptimes. 00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:49.920 And overly obsessed about a strict schedule that our kids are on. 00:34:50.099 --> 00:34:53.659 I think there's value to having a schedule. 00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:58.300 Our grandson, hopefully you guys will get to meet him someday. 00:34:58.460 --> 00:34:59.199 He's a trip. 00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:01.980 We're tired. 00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:05.239 When we watch him for a while, we're just like tired. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:06.960 He's fine. 00:35:07.320 --> 00:35:08.500 But he's fine. 00:35:09.179 --> 00:35:11.199 He looks like he's eight. 00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:19.260 But he had some developmental issues that affected his behavior. 00:35:19.780 --> 00:35:23.340 And one of the things connected to that was sleep. 00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:30.940 That if he went to bed too late, the next day was almost guaranteed he was going to have some issues. 00:35:31.719 --> 00:35:37.860 So I think there are examples like that where we do have to watch the children. 00:35:38.019 --> 00:35:42.239 But I think that's the exception rather than the norm. 00:35:43.039 --> 00:36:03.539 So Kelly, when it's time for midweek, there's some friends of ours, and she knows a lot of women in the church, where somebody else will watch Weston that night so she can go to midweek or go to house church, things like that, and then he can still get to bed in time. 00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:10.739 So I think there are things that are important to be aware of. 00:36:11.059 --> 00:36:13.340 But that's not really the norm. 00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:19.960 Our kids, they all had their sin, and they all have their issues. 00:36:21.699 --> 00:36:31.860 But keeping them up late for midweek or devotional or Bible talk did not contribute to any of their issues. 00:36:32.539 --> 00:36:39.960 It actually contributed the other way, because they understood there's a commitment to the body. 00:36:41.079 --> 00:36:52.840 I go to church, even now as an adult, I've been doing this since the second Sunday in 1982, January 1982. 00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:56.619 That's how long Lori and I have been consistently coming to church. 00:36:57.239 --> 00:37:03.519 I went into the ministry in 1983, started leading churches in 1985. 00:37:05.019 --> 00:37:10.059 And even as a minister, there's a lot of times, well, I wouldn't say a lot. 00:37:10.219 --> 00:37:13.619 There have been a few times I didn't even feel like going to church. 00:37:13.619 --> 00:37:16.639 But who's going to preach if I don't show up? 00:37:20.139 --> 00:37:22.179 We all struggle with this. 00:37:22.719 --> 00:37:33.739 But you and I, we all have the discipline to say, I know I don't feel like it, but yet this is where God wants me, and so we go. 00:37:34.019 --> 00:37:39.260 And we don't let excuses interfere with that. 00:37:40.380 --> 00:37:59.500 All of this is for us to help develop and help our kids understand that our family physically is mom, dad, and the brothers and sisters, but God is viewing our family as something bigger than that. 00:37:59.659 --> 00:38:17.679 We're a community of believers, which is probably more the Eastern mindset of how early Christianity was all about, from the formation of synagogues under the Jewish system, which translated into house churches in the New Testament times. 00:38:18.139 --> 00:38:33.420 They understood that as families worshiped together, they were a community, not only the adults but also the children, and it helped them fend off the influences of the world. 00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:35.119 Amen? 00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:35.920 Amen. 00:38:36.360 --> 00:38:37.280 All right, time together. 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:38.380 Lori's going to do this one. 00:38:39.199 --> 00:38:40.139 I talked too much. 00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:40.960 I didn't take a break. 00:38:40.980 --> 00:38:41.340 You talked too much. 00:38:42.019 --> 00:38:44.119 Now I have to sort out what I'm not going to say. 00:38:44.360 --> 00:38:46.219 Did I say stuff you weren't going to say? 00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:47.360 Just a little bit. 00:38:47.480 --> 00:38:49.280 All right. 00:38:49.699 --> 00:38:51.639 No, what is it? 00:38:51.639 --> 00:38:52.280 Time together. 00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:53.099 Yes. 00:38:53.860 --> 00:38:57.039 Regular times together as a family is so, so important. 00:38:58.260 --> 00:39:06.400 So many families I see now, and I'm not speaking of the church, but in the world, I mean, they're all kind of going in all different directions, right? 00:39:06.840 --> 00:39:15.800 So family times together, you have to build something that's, you know, your family becomes us. 00:39:16.300 --> 00:39:17.519 We're talking, you know, us. 00:39:17.639 --> 00:39:19.599 It's not just mom and dad and the kids. 00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:20.440 It's us. 00:39:20.579 --> 00:39:22.099 We're the family together. 00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:37.940 So to do that is definitely taking time for the special occasions, building memories, vacations, birthdays, holidays, all those times. 00:39:38.179 --> 00:39:41.280 Building traditions in your family is really, really good. 00:39:42.940 --> 00:40:08.739 If you read through, even reading through the Old Testament, you see the Israelites, their families were so tight because, well, number one, it was focused, they were focused on God, but obviously they had so many traditions that even God instituted with the festivals and, you know, the celebrations and things like that. 00:40:09.099 --> 00:40:10.639 Weddings were a big deal. 00:40:11.000 --> 00:40:15.039 And, you know, those are the things that really help build the family. 00:40:15.460 --> 00:40:16.980 But making them special. 00:40:17.699 --> 00:40:20.539 Birthdays, definitely, especially birthdays. 00:40:20.659 --> 00:40:21.800 Kids love birthdays. 00:40:21.800 --> 00:40:27.380 They just love that party that they get and everybody gets to come to. 00:40:28.500 --> 00:40:31.179 Meals together is important, too. 00:40:32.360 --> 00:40:39.159 And we don't, you know, it's not a hard line, you know, you have to have one meal a day as a family. 00:40:39.699 --> 00:40:41.199 I think it's good practice. 00:40:41.780 --> 00:40:46.139 Dinner is usually the meal that families can eat together. 00:40:49.460 --> 00:41:01.659 It builds, you know, when you sit at the table and you're face-to-face and you put away the cell phones, you put away the iPads, it's just you. 00:41:01.960 --> 00:41:04.340 It's your family enjoying a meal. 00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:07.300 It makes it become a memory. 00:41:07.860 --> 00:41:08.440 It really does. 00:41:08.760 --> 00:41:11.300 And there are going to be times when you have pizza in front of the TV. 00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:14.159 You know, that's fun. 00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:20.260 Dinner conversations, depending on age appropriate. 00:41:20.579 --> 00:41:36.260 Talk about school, what happened, what'd you do, what was good, what was not good, just keeping the conversation going, pulling them in so they're not feeling like they're not included in the dinner, in the conversation. 00:41:39.619 --> 00:41:44.139 They'll come to a point where they'll actually be prepared to share if you do it on a regular basis. 00:41:44.139 --> 00:41:49.039 When they come to dinner, they're like, I'm not sure about that, eating in school, you know, or whatever. 00:41:49.099 --> 00:41:50.420 They'll be ready to say something. 00:41:50.780 --> 00:41:54.880 At first, they're probably going to be sitting there looking at each other and I don't know what to say. 00:41:55.199 --> 00:42:01.920 But then if you get into a regular habit of it, it builds on some great conversations. 00:42:04.900 --> 00:42:12.800 And then you have times of the heart-to-heart talks, and those are times when you have to plan. 00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:23.239 If you see a child maybe not feeling good about something or they're moody or they're down or whatever, anything, you probably need to pull them aside and have a talk. 00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:28.900 Bring them in a safe place, a quiet place where they're not going to be distracted. 00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:37.340 You're not going to be distracted to have a talk with them so they feel safe and they feel like they can trust you. 00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:40.860 This helps teach communication. 00:42:40.860 --> 00:42:52.179 I think so many times we're just calling them to be obedient, be obedient, be good, do this, do that, giving them lots of rules. 00:42:52.639 --> 00:43:09.059 But there's a time when you have to really keep talking to them and having these talks with them to build a sense of communication so they learn communication as well, how to share their feelings, how to share what they're thinking. 00:43:10.820 --> 00:43:14.400 Us as the parents, we can't react quickly. 00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:29.260 Sometimes they'll share something that probably isn't the best thing to share or maybe something real ugly feeling they have or, you know, I hate this person in my class or, you know, those kinds of things. 00:43:29.460 --> 00:43:32.000 They still need to feel safe that they can say it. 00:43:33.099 --> 00:43:36.599 So don't react or respond too quickly about it. 00:43:39.380 --> 00:43:44.219 And just ask tons of questions because you've got to pull that string. 00:43:44.440 --> 00:43:50.500 You've got to get it out of them because I know our son, he would come home from school and I'd say, how's it going? 00:43:50.659 --> 00:43:51.280 What happened? 00:43:51.440 --> 00:43:52.320 He goes, oh, just fine. 00:43:52.519 --> 00:43:52.920 That's good. 00:43:53.159 --> 00:43:53.340 Whatever. 00:43:56.639 --> 00:44:00.800 One word answer is you just couldn't get anything out of him. 00:44:00.800 --> 00:44:02.079 Or a grunt. 00:44:02.139 --> 00:44:02.900 Or a grunt. 00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:06.559 So whatever. 00:44:07.159 --> 00:44:11.840 But Kelly would be like, you know, she just said this and this and this. 00:44:12.019 --> 00:44:16.599 All I had to do was say one question and it would all come out or whatever. 00:44:17.360 --> 00:44:19.539 But it's… Even today. 00:44:19.619 --> 00:44:20.199 Even today. 00:44:22.219 --> 00:44:23.119 Same way. 00:44:23.420 --> 00:44:24.599 Marty doesn't say all that. 00:44:24.940 --> 00:44:33.260 But it's just you're grooming them and you're teaching them how to be, you know, this way within the family. 00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:39.199 And having open conversations and everything's good. 00:44:39.579 --> 00:44:39.760 Yeah. 00:44:40.500 --> 00:45:00.860 I think Lori mentioned it, but this whole idea of making memories, whatever it is, it could be anywhere from… One couple that were highly influential in our lives one time, we were asking them some advice about what… Everybody just seems uptight. 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:01.719 What should we do? 00:45:01.900 --> 00:45:03.659 You know, because I'm cool. 00:45:03.739 --> 00:45:04.280 I know that. 00:45:04.699 --> 00:45:05.519 And Lori's cool. 00:45:05.619 --> 00:45:06.280 She knows that. 00:45:07.159 --> 00:45:08.960 Sometimes the kids didn't feel that. 00:45:09.480 --> 00:45:16.920 And she said, well, or the husband said, why don't you have a food fight with them at dinner? 00:45:17.960 --> 00:45:19.940 And so we did it one night. 00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:22.260 And everybody was cracking up. 00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:24.260 That wasn't a regular occurrence. 00:45:24.260 --> 00:45:25.099 No. 00:45:26.519 --> 00:45:28.699 But it was a memory. 00:45:29.280 --> 00:45:32.260 We made sure the food wasn't real messy that night. 00:45:33.380 --> 00:45:33.699 Peas. 00:45:33.780 --> 00:45:34.320 I think it was peas. 00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:34.800 Peas. 00:45:35.500 --> 00:45:37.219 Not mashed potatoes. 00:45:38.059 --> 00:45:38.619 Spaghetti. 00:45:39.300 --> 00:45:40.340 Oh, yeah. 00:45:41.440 --> 00:45:53.699 We're trying to make the connection that they have a great life because mom and dad not only love them, but mom and dad have a great relationship with God. 00:45:54.099 --> 00:45:58.519 And we're trying to get them constantly to make that connection. 00:45:58.940 --> 00:46:03.519 And when we build these memories, we're instilling these things. 00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:09.920 Like our kids will bring up stuff that we did when they were little that they still remember. 00:46:11.099 --> 00:46:15.260 Family vacations or things that we did around the house. 00:46:15.659 --> 00:46:17.199 Certain Christmases they remember. 00:46:17.300 --> 00:46:17.639 Yeah. 00:46:17.639 --> 00:46:24.579 And as much as we can do that to create these memories, they don't have to be elaborate. 00:46:25.980 --> 00:46:27.179 Not expensive. 00:46:27.420 --> 00:46:29.179 And they don't have to be expensive. 00:46:30.219 --> 00:46:32.300 We didn't have a ton of cash. 00:46:33.260 --> 00:46:42.559 So a lot of our family vacations, which we took every summer, were camping, fishing, and stuff like that. 00:46:43.539 --> 00:46:45.500 But I think that's important. 00:46:45.500 --> 00:46:46.440 All right. 00:46:46.539 --> 00:46:47.639 Last one here. 00:46:49.179 --> 00:46:52.139 That can be somewhat controversial. 00:46:52.139 --> 00:47:00.260 I don't know what you guys are going to say to this, but I'm just going to put it under the category of good godly discipline. 00:47:00.420 --> 00:47:00.639 Okay. 00:47:04.159 --> 00:47:05.039 In parentheses. 00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:08.599 That's awesome. 00:47:12.900 --> 00:47:16.599 You've seen all kinds of different parenting styles. 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:23.820 My dad, when he was ticked off at me, he would light me up. 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:25.260 We'd go down to the basement. 00:47:25.460 --> 00:47:35.420 He'd drop my drawers, take his big old calloused hand, and apply a certain amount of pressure on my buttockses. 00:47:36.619 --> 00:47:45.639 If one got a little too sensitive, he'd switch to the other side and, you know, some people might consider that abusive. 00:47:45.860 --> 00:47:47.619 I think I probably got what I deserved. 00:47:49.260 --> 00:47:50.920 I'm not advocating that. 00:47:51.519 --> 00:48:04.119 On the other hand, you've seen parenting styles where the parents do absolutely nothing, they're hands-off, and everybody else in the world suffers because of that. 00:48:05.380 --> 00:48:11.840 That's another extreme of totally hands-off and borderline abusive. 00:48:12.840 --> 00:48:22.880 But somewhere in the middle, there has to be discipline that our children experience because that's exactly what God does with us. 00:48:23.019 --> 00:48:30.159 He doesn't bend us over His knee, literally, but figuratively, He does from time to time to get our attention. 00:48:32.860 --> 00:48:39.219 Hebrews 12, we'll start at verse 5. 00:48:40.219 --> 00:48:45.340 You've forgotten the word of encouragement that addresses you as sons or sons and daughters. 00:48:46.440 --> 00:49:01.440 My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline and do not lose heart when He rebukes you because the Lord disciplines those He loves and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son. 00:49:02.400 --> 00:49:05.780 When your hardship is disciplined, God is treating you as sons. 00:49:05.780 --> 00:49:08.739 For what son is not disciplined by his father? 00:49:09.380 --> 00:49:17.840 If you are not disciplined, and everybody undergoes discipline, then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 00:49:18.420 --> 00:49:24.659 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. 00:49:25.219 --> 00:49:29.539 How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live? 00:49:30.260 --> 00:49:38.219 Our fathers disciplined us for our good that we may share, or did I skip a line? 00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:47.119 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good that we may share in His holiness. 00:49:47.960 --> 00:49:52.480 No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful. 00:49:53.300 --> 00:50:01.380 Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been strengthened or been trained by it. 00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:08.980 This is part of a natural, good, loving relationship with God Himself. 00:50:09.880 --> 00:50:11.119 He disciplines us. 00:50:11.619 --> 00:50:14.400 We receive it as love and kindness. 00:50:15.139 --> 00:50:23.739 He's trying to prevent us from going down a road that's going to lead to destruction or self-destruction. 00:50:25.000 --> 00:50:28.219 And so we understand this. 00:50:28.219 --> 00:50:31.699 We see this as adults in different ways. 00:50:32.500 --> 00:50:35.340 Our children are too young. 00:50:35.500 --> 00:50:37.760 Their minds aren't developed enough. 00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:49.099 And so the Bible does speak about things like spare the rod, spoil the child, and the discipline that parents need to administer to their children. 00:50:49.840 --> 00:50:53.820 Some people would feel that it's unloving to discipline a child. 00:50:53.940 --> 00:51:05.480 I would say that is a totally unbiblical concept because God Himself loves us enough to discipline us, and therefore we should pass this on to our children. 00:51:06.360 --> 00:51:08.000 We can always adjust. 00:51:08.159 --> 00:51:23.079 In fact, there always has to be periods of adjustment with this, depending on the temperament of the child, what works, what doesn't, the age of the child, their intellect, their offense. 00:51:23.900 --> 00:51:53.960 So things that we would focus in on probably more than other things, and this varied as they went through life, but any kind of direct disobedience or direct rebellion, that received a lot of attention from us because even though they were directing that towards us, we know that that was really directed towards God. 00:51:54.380 --> 00:52:03.280 Any kind of defiance, direct rebellion, no, that kind of stuff, there had to be some consequences for it. 00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:30.219 I think with God, the way He disciplines us is He tells us what the rules are, and then He warns us, you guys are about to get it, and then He administers the discipline, and then the fourth quality that a lot of people leave out is the love and the affection and the joy after the time of discipline is over. 00:52:31.039 --> 00:52:42.059 So I think part of it is with your children at your ages, you have to establish some rules of the house, like this is what we expect. 00:52:42.500 --> 00:52:48.260 And our kids would argue with us when they got a little bit older, yeah, but what about their parents? 00:52:48.340 --> 00:52:49.760 They don't make them do that. 00:52:50.239 --> 00:52:52.320 And we would just say, what's your last name? 00:52:52.980 --> 00:52:53.420 Wilson. 00:52:54.239 --> 00:53:05.239 Okay, this is what the Wilsons do, and this other family, they can do what they want to do, but God has given you to us, therefore this is what we're going to do. 00:53:07.260 --> 00:53:22.920 Now I think it's also good to, if you're in tight with other families, just kind of compare notes and coordinate with each other, but there were times that our kids got spanked. 00:53:23.000 --> 00:53:29.619 I don't think in an abusive way at all, but it's one thing that gets their attention. 00:53:30.480 --> 00:53:41.980 From even early on when they were infants, you know, kind of getting out of the brand newborn phase, this wasn't a newborn thing. 00:53:42.480 --> 00:53:52.159 But when they were entering into the toddler thing and it was time to change the diaper, and you know when they're defiant, when their diapers are getting changed. 00:53:52.280 --> 00:54:03.139 When they arch their back and do this, we'd give them a little crack on the thigh, and the first time we did that with both of our kids, got their attention right there. 00:54:03.139 --> 00:54:07.059 It didn't change permanently, but... 00:54:07.059 --> 00:54:23.599 And then don't, when they start learning no and yes and things like that, if they would deliberately disobey, then there was a warning, and if they kept doing it, then there was some kind of discipline. 00:54:24.699 --> 00:54:26.739 Go back to our grandson. 00:54:29.019 --> 00:54:48.579 Our daughter and her husband, they do spank him from time to time, but for him, because of some of these other things, they've figured out different ways that are actually more painful and more attention-getting, like taking away his trucks and his dinosaurs. 00:54:49.559 --> 00:54:51.860 That's pretty painful right there. 00:54:52.039 --> 00:54:57.239 Or no iPad kids videos. 00:54:57.619 --> 00:55:00.300 That's, like, excruciatingly painful. 00:55:01.960 --> 00:55:05.079 Going to your room and things like that. 00:55:06.980 --> 00:55:22.199 We're not trying to advocate one thing or another, but I think for children, just like God does with us, there's a number of ways that God will apply pressure on us in order for us to get our... 00:55:22.199 --> 00:55:34.039 in order for him to get our attention so that we can change our behavior and live godly lives, which is ultimately the goal, right? 00:55:34.320 --> 00:55:46.360 We wouldn't let our kids hide behind the excuses, oh, I'm tired, oh, I'm sick, oh, I'm off today, because who gets a pass at that? 00:55:46.679 --> 00:55:53.980 Like, where you guys work, your jobs, in life, your boss doesn't really care if you're not feeling well. 00:55:53.980 --> 00:56:00.579 You still have an expectation to obey and carry out your work. 00:56:01.119 --> 00:56:03.760 That can get complicated for you guys. 00:56:07.420 --> 00:56:17.000 And so, anyway, good godly discipline is a big part of raising our children. 00:56:17.500 --> 00:56:20.380 It only works in a loving environment, though, right? 00:56:20.380 --> 00:56:36.780 And that's why God's discipline works so well on us, is we see the overwhelming efforts that God has made to love us, to think of us not just as created beings, but as his sons and daughters. 00:56:37.719 --> 00:56:39.000 It's an amazing thing. 00:56:39.420 --> 00:56:39.579 Amen? 00:56:41.139 --> 00:56:43.119 And I'll just say this. 00:56:43.239 --> 00:56:48.079 You know, we live in the world, and it's not going to change. 00:56:48.079 --> 00:56:50.500 It's only going to get better, or worse. 00:56:51.900 --> 00:57:12.840 And so, really, for ourselves, as well as our children, we're trying to protect them from the evil forces that exist in the world that we live in, and not to be isolationists, but to teach them how to function in a very ungodly environment. 00:57:13.239 --> 00:57:17.380 And as they get older, now they're studying to make their own decisions. 00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:18.559 Amen.