WEBVTT 00:00:09.800 --> 00:00:13.300 Hello, and welcome to the Kalamazoo church of Christ podcast. 00:00:13.619 --> 00:00:14.839 Thank you so much for listening. 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:16.199 We're startup church. 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:23.480 We just planted in September, 2020 and at the Kalamazoo church, we believe that Christianity is done best when it is done together. 00:00:23.579 --> 00:00:32.299 And so if you live in the Kalamazoo area, we would love to connect, be it coming to a Sunday service, one of our small groups, or even just grabbing coffee with a member to learn more. 00:00:32.700 --> 00:00:36.420 You can visit kalamazoo.church in order to do that. 00:00:37.039 --> 00:00:40.380 We pray that you are inspired by what you hear today. 00:00:46.979 --> 00:01:00.229 You can only give a man that much leeway so long before something crazy happens and it's on you. 00:01:02.450 --> 00:01:15.230 First of all, if I could say a baptism slash pool party sounds like, like a part, I'm like, should we, we should always bring your swimsuits every time you don't know what's going to happen. 00:01:16.469 --> 00:01:18.010 That might drive people away actually. 00:01:19.510 --> 00:01:20.930 But my name is Kyle. 00:01:21.930 --> 00:01:23.390 My wife is right here. 00:01:23.450 --> 00:01:24.170 She's holding baby. 00:01:24.750 --> 00:01:26.370 I give it a 43% chance. 00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:28.989 She has to leave because of my, my youngest. 00:01:29.730 --> 00:01:31.590 We love being here with you. 00:01:31.629 --> 00:01:32.890 We get to come at least once a year. 00:01:32.930 --> 00:01:38.409 I wish we could come more and perhaps we'll be able to in the future, but I feel like we're building great relationships with you guys. 00:01:38.689 --> 00:01:41.689 I want you to feel like we are available to you. 00:01:42.450 --> 00:01:44.849 We spent some great time with Jaron and Bianca this weekend. 00:01:45.250 --> 00:01:51.590 Part of the reason we're here is that we, we get the honor of kind of helping Jaron and Bianca lead the church. 00:01:52.010 --> 00:01:55.170 Really what that means is like the blind leading the blind, if that encourages you. 00:01:56.150 --> 00:01:57.530 We're, we're kind of in it together. 00:01:57.849 --> 00:02:02.469 And so like last night we spent like almost three hours talking about the church and their lives. 00:02:02.629 --> 00:02:03.709 I just want to encourage you. 00:02:04.069 --> 00:02:08.310 They asked us, we had been with them for a couple of days and they asked us, you know, how do you feel like we're doing in our parenting? 00:02:08.770 --> 00:02:10.509 And I just, that's just a great example. 00:02:10.650 --> 00:02:12.490 Like you want to be led by people like that. 00:02:13.469 --> 00:02:15.430 Let me know how I'm doing. 00:02:15.969 --> 00:02:17.030 And don't just give me the good stuff. 00:02:17.050 --> 00:02:17.789 Like I want to hear it. 00:02:17.810 --> 00:02:19.229 Like that's a really great thing. 00:02:19.430 --> 00:02:22.009 And perhaps, perhaps it's more rare than we think it is. 00:02:22.090 --> 00:02:22.629 It's really beautiful. 00:02:22.770 --> 00:02:25.650 So I just really appreciate their leadership here and, and their friendship. 00:02:25.789 --> 00:02:26.969 They're so easy to be friends with. 00:02:27.030 --> 00:02:28.169 I just really enjoy you guys. 00:02:29.310 --> 00:02:31.210 And I just love the atmosphere of the church. 00:02:31.250 --> 00:02:32.409 Like I love small church. 00:02:32.530 --> 00:02:33.949 We, we are also part of a small church. 00:02:34.310 --> 00:02:35.050 I love the aftermath. 00:02:35.289 --> 00:02:36.009 It's just like, hey, I'm good. 00:02:36.210 --> 00:02:36.530 I'm good. 00:02:36.530 --> 00:02:36.969 I'm good. 00:02:36.969 --> 00:02:37.250 How am I doing? 00:02:37.389 --> 00:02:37.770 You know what I mean? 00:02:37.889 --> 00:02:39.349 Like you don't see that in a bigger church. 00:02:39.490 --> 00:02:40.949 It's like sort of not allowed-ish. 00:02:41.250 --> 00:02:42.629 But in small church, it's like who cares, whatever. 00:02:43.009 --> 00:02:44.509 Like anybody else have any thoughts? 00:02:44.650 --> 00:02:46.710 You know, I like that about small church. 00:02:48.030 --> 00:02:51.490 I want to, two things before I start is I want to just, just introduce my kids. 00:02:52.330 --> 00:02:54.650 So on your left is Noel. 00:02:55.669 --> 00:02:58.909 I'm not telling the story of Noel today, but she's had quite a journey. 00:02:59.250 --> 00:03:00.590 She sees herself right now. 00:03:01.090 --> 00:03:01.949 She is a delight. 00:03:01.949 --> 00:03:06.729 And she has changed our lives more than probably anything else in our lives. 00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:11.449 And not just because she's a delight, but she's been through a lot and then therefore we have. 00:03:11.590 --> 00:03:13.310 And so we're so grateful for her. 00:03:13.770 --> 00:03:15.509 And then that's Rowan and Kathleen. 00:03:15.650 --> 00:03:17.210 Rowan's seven, Kate's five. 00:03:17.229 --> 00:03:19.689 They have a beautiful friendship and a lot of personality. 00:03:20.189 --> 00:03:22.530 And I'll often tell people, we have a lot of dance parties in our house. 00:03:22.689 --> 00:03:23.949 I feel like we fit in well with the Cowboys. 00:03:24.030 --> 00:03:24.590 Like pool parties. 00:03:24.729 --> 00:03:25.729 That resembles a dance party. 00:03:25.830 --> 00:03:27.169 They all feel like they work together. 00:03:28.229 --> 00:03:30.090 And Rowan's the best dancer in the house. 00:03:30.409 --> 00:03:32.030 And sometimes she does dance moves that I'm not used to. 00:03:32.030 --> 00:03:34.110 But I'm actually not allowed to display on video. 00:03:35.009 --> 00:03:36.330 I'm still trying to teach that into them. 00:03:36.430 --> 00:03:38.129 Just like, I don't think you can do that in public. 00:03:38.349 --> 00:03:39.129 So that's enough. 00:03:39.169 --> 00:03:40.069 I'm glad you're safe here. 00:03:41.849 --> 00:03:43.270 I want to introduce one more thing. 00:03:44.469 --> 00:03:47.129 If you've heard me speak before, you know I have a facial tic. 00:03:47.349 --> 00:03:48.830 And this is in the beginning of some weird joke. 00:03:48.949 --> 00:03:49.689 Like it's a real thing. 00:03:50.550 --> 00:03:52.150 And actually, it's been great. 00:03:52.569 --> 00:03:54.270 But about five minutes ago, it got bad again. 00:03:54.330 --> 00:03:55.789 So I wanted to mention something about it. 00:03:55.990 --> 00:03:57.370 It's just something that I battle with. 00:03:57.469 --> 00:03:59.509 I share it when I go visit new churches. 00:03:59.729 --> 00:04:01.789 Or not new churches, but churches I'm not in right now. 00:04:01.830 --> 00:04:01.930 And it's just something that I battle with. 00:04:01.930 --> 00:04:05.370 Because it helps people feel secure with sort of their interaction with me. 00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:07.069 So they're not like, is everything okay? 00:04:07.270 --> 00:04:08.830 Like, everything is okay. 00:04:09.009 --> 00:04:11.210 It's just like, we're figuring it out, working through it. 00:04:11.210 --> 00:04:12.050 It's actually been really good. 00:04:12.330 --> 00:04:13.430 But it does get me in trouble sometimes. 00:04:13.490 --> 00:04:14.250 I always tell a story. 00:04:14.270 --> 00:04:16.790 I have a new story this year about a way that's got me in trouble. 00:04:16.889 --> 00:04:19.850 Obviously, it manifests as like a really aggressive head nod. 00:04:19.930 --> 00:04:21.970 Like I'm aggressively saying, yes, I agree with you. 00:04:22.189 --> 00:04:23.870 This gets me in trouble when people ask me questions. 00:04:24.329 --> 00:04:26.430 So the other day, I was at the gym. 00:04:26.550 --> 00:04:28.870 I actually don't like, I really don't like this exercise. 00:04:29.009 --> 00:04:29.949 I find it very painful. 00:04:30.509 --> 00:04:31.490 It is emotionally painful. 00:04:31.490 --> 00:04:33.029 Because I can barely lift anything. 00:04:33.769 --> 00:04:35.870 And so like, socially, it's more painful than physically. 00:04:35.990 --> 00:04:38.009 Because I'm like, other people are just like, is that it? 00:04:38.129 --> 00:04:38.910 Like, is that your warm up? 00:04:38.970 --> 00:04:39.970 It's like, this is the real thing. 00:04:40.089 --> 00:04:40.970 It's like my natural thing. 00:04:42.470 --> 00:04:46.490 And sometimes at the gym, when it's really full, someone will walk up and be like, hey, can I work in with you? 00:04:46.750 --> 00:04:49.730 And the idea is that like, can we just switch back and forth because nothing else is available? 00:04:49.930 --> 00:04:52.029 And you know, you don't really say, nobody says no to that. 00:04:52.069 --> 00:04:54.370 Even if you really don't want to, you say, sure. 00:04:54.930 --> 00:04:57.050 The guy that walked up to me looked a lot like this. 00:04:58.509 --> 00:05:00.910 He's like, can I work in, can I work in with you? 00:05:01.069 --> 00:05:01.470 You know what I mean? 00:05:01.470 --> 00:05:02.790 I'm like, you didn't sound like, I'm making that up. 00:05:03.009 --> 00:05:04.009 Like, but he was huge. 00:05:04.329 --> 00:05:05.970 He was like a Viking, like a Nordic Viking. 00:05:07.250 --> 00:05:10.189 And of course I'm like, sure, sure, you can work with me. 00:05:11.250 --> 00:05:13.649 And I just had, I didn't have a lot of weight on me. 00:05:14.209 --> 00:05:16.430 So I'm like, this guy is massive. 00:05:17.269 --> 00:05:18.750 And I didn't say anything about it. 00:05:18.829 --> 00:05:20.910 And I'm like, I'm just not going to, let's just see what happens. 00:05:21.910 --> 00:05:23.029 So I get done with my exercise. 00:05:23.149 --> 00:05:24.410 I go get some water. 00:05:24.490 --> 00:05:27.509 I come back, he's done his, and he's like, hey, you want to add more on this? 00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:28.310 And I tick. 00:05:30.529 --> 00:05:33.850 And he's like, cool, how much are you thinking, and I was like, whatever you think. 00:05:35.149 --> 00:05:43.350 I didn't say like, oh, you know, it's a weird way to start a conversation, like, oh, sorry, I had a facial tick, like, I didn't mean to say that, like, no, that's weird, you just accept it. 00:05:43.930 --> 00:05:45.329 It's like, it's just guy culture. 00:05:45.889 --> 00:05:53.149 So I was just like, yeah, put it on there, and I was hoping he'd walk away, he just stood there and watched me. 00:05:53.810 --> 00:05:59.029 So I'm just like, he's like, great job, man. 00:05:59.610 --> 00:06:04.129 He gets up, he's like, duh, duh, duh, and I was like, thanks, I'll see you later, I hope I'll never see you again. 00:06:04.329 --> 00:06:05.089 Do you want to come to church? 00:06:06.189 --> 00:06:07.189 I did invite him to church. 00:06:07.550 --> 00:06:10.449 He said yes, but they never came, which is, you know, par for the course, that's fine. 00:06:11.410 --> 00:06:12.209 God's solid, right? 00:06:13.170 --> 00:06:17.810 So yeah, it helps you know a little bit about me, and it helps you feel secure in, like, what's happening, right? 00:06:17.810 --> 00:06:25.370 In Matthew 22, I thought the communion was very appropriate, and the songs as well, because there's a lot about loving God. 00:06:25.470 --> 00:06:28.850 I know you guys spend a lot of time in the Old Testament going through thread, which is great. 00:06:29.569 --> 00:06:35.610 I want to just share a sermon that's meaningful to me about what it means to love God with all your heart. 00:06:36.149 --> 00:06:44.629 Matthew 22, verse 34, the Pharisees and Sadducees, they come to Jesus and they say, what's the most important commandment in the law? 00:06:44.629 --> 00:06:50.629 The Pharisees says this, and Jesus says, you know, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, right? 00:06:50.730 --> 00:06:52.449 Or your strength, depending on the version you're reading. 00:06:52.910 --> 00:06:58.550 And he's quoting from Deuteronomy 6, a Jewish prayer called the Shema, which is all about the Jewish prayer. 00:06:58.649 --> 00:07:04.689 They said every day, Deuteronomy 6, verses like 1 through 4, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, strength. 00:07:05.089 --> 00:07:09.350 And Jesus adds in, and the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself, like a freebie on the side. 00:07:09.509 --> 00:07:10.490 You also do this. 00:07:11.529 --> 00:07:12.649 What does it mean to love God? 00:07:13.149 --> 00:07:22.970 I'd like to have a practical conversation about what it means to love God, because I think loving God with all your heart in particular is very difficult. 00:07:23.750 --> 00:07:25.910 And I want to talk about why that is. 00:07:26.490 --> 00:07:30.889 Because when we think about heart, you think about the heart as the center of your feelings. 00:07:31.029 --> 00:07:41.629 Now we're not going to go into it, but l'vav is the Hebrew word in Deuteronomy, and it means it's the center of your emotion, your feelings, and like your being. 00:07:41.629 --> 00:07:47.509 But when we say like, when we talk about our feelings, we often attribute it to the way our heart feels, right? 00:07:47.550 --> 00:07:48.629 Oh, I love that person. 00:07:49.149 --> 00:07:52.649 Most people think that what they're really saying is, I feel like I love you. 00:07:53.310 --> 00:07:55.170 But love is a lot more than that. 00:07:55.689 --> 00:07:57.689 Love is about surrendering those feelings to God. 00:07:57.750 --> 00:08:01.009 And sometimes it's harder to surrender our feelings than our actions. 00:08:01.110 --> 00:08:02.250 And I want to talk a little bit about that. 00:08:02.329 --> 00:08:06.290 So what does the Bible have to say about loving God with all your heart? 00:08:06.550 --> 00:08:07.269 So there's a lot of things. 00:08:07.329 --> 00:08:08.509 We're only actually going to look at one. 00:08:08.509 --> 00:08:11.689 I'm going to briefly discuss the first two, because they lead to the three. 00:08:11.769 --> 00:08:12.910 So just really one point today. 00:08:13.470 --> 00:08:16.949 This is the discouraging part of what God says about the heart, all right? 00:08:17.290 --> 00:08:19.189 But I promise it'll end on an encouraging note. 00:08:19.790 --> 00:08:22.810 The darkness of the heart is that it's very difficult to understand. 00:08:23.529 --> 00:08:24.689 Perhaps you've felt that before. 00:08:25.529 --> 00:08:29.670 It must be guarded, because it's very vulnerable. 00:08:30.589 --> 00:08:33.570 And it actually instinctively cannot be trusted. 00:08:34.428 --> 00:08:36.110 This is discouraging to the average human. 00:08:36.110 --> 00:08:38.570 The Bible discusses this a lot. 00:08:38.870 --> 00:08:41.808 And what's interesting is that this is very countercultural. 00:08:42.509 --> 00:08:45.830 Our world increasingly is about follow your heart. 00:08:46.529 --> 00:08:47.889 Listen to your heart. 00:08:48.570 --> 00:08:49.750 Search your soul. 00:08:50.090 --> 00:08:51.009 That's an old song. 00:08:51.409 --> 00:08:52.370 Celine Dion, maybe? 00:08:52.429 --> 00:08:52.690 I don't know. 00:08:52.710 --> 00:08:53.190 Something like that. 00:08:53.370 --> 00:08:53.830 She's great. 00:08:54.950 --> 00:08:57.129 It's do what your heart feels is right. 00:08:57.509 --> 00:08:58.669 This is horrific advice. 00:08:59.710 --> 00:09:03.110 But it's the way we tend to instinctively operate, right? 00:09:03.110 --> 00:09:05.210 The heart's hard to understand. 00:09:05.509 --> 00:09:10.470 Some proverb says very quickly, the purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, and who can understand them? 00:09:12.950 --> 00:09:14.909 In Jeremiah, it says something similar. 00:09:15.070 --> 00:09:16.309 You can't trust the heart. 00:09:16.590 --> 00:09:18.049 Who can understand the heart? 00:09:18.470 --> 00:09:21.529 No one can share the heart's joy, because only you understand it. 00:09:21.649 --> 00:09:23.190 And you might not even understand it. 00:09:23.230 --> 00:09:24.070 Have you felt that before? 00:09:24.350 --> 00:09:25.789 Have you seen this before? 00:09:26.169 --> 00:09:27.649 This is the emotion wheel. 00:09:27.730 --> 00:09:29.450 It's very overwhelming for the average human. 00:09:30.110 --> 00:09:33.850 Especially like the sort of stock standard stereotypical guy. 00:09:34.750 --> 00:09:35.509 He's like, what do you feel? 00:09:35.570 --> 00:09:36.269 I feel angry. 00:09:36.789 --> 00:09:37.750 No, no, no, no, no, no. 00:09:37.750 --> 00:09:38.610 What do you feel? 00:09:39.350 --> 00:09:40.389 Do you feel? 00:09:40.529 --> 00:09:41.490 I'm trying to read it. 00:09:41.830 --> 00:09:44.210 I don't like to feel. 00:09:44.429 --> 00:09:45.669 Yeah, do you feel let down? 00:09:46.309 --> 00:09:46.870 I don't know. 00:09:47.809 --> 00:09:49.370 If you do, what do you really feel? 00:09:49.370 --> 00:09:50.269 Do you feel resentful? 00:09:50.330 --> 00:09:51.629 I don't know what that word means. 00:09:51.710 --> 00:09:52.649 I don't know the difference. 00:09:53.230 --> 00:09:54.889 Your emotions are actually quite complicated. 00:09:55.570 --> 00:09:57.549 Just so you know, that's not a complete emotion. 00:09:57.549 --> 00:09:59.549 This is like the dumbed-down version. 00:10:00.370 --> 00:10:02.190 Go online and look at full emotion. 00:10:02.350 --> 00:10:03.769 You're going to be like, ah! You know what I mean? 00:10:03.830 --> 00:10:05.330 I'm capable of so many things. 00:10:05.769 --> 00:10:10.750 What's crazy about the emotions is you often feel something before you know why you feel it. 00:10:11.289 --> 00:10:12.529 This is how the body works. 00:10:12.990 --> 00:10:15.129 You get put into an anxious situation. 00:10:15.309 --> 00:10:17.470 Maybe you didn't know there was a pool party going on. 00:10:17.710 --> 00:10:20.049 And you show up, and you're like, I don't know if I'm ready for this. 00:10:20.669 --> 00:10:25.490 Have you ever been put in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or scared? 00:10:25.490 --> 00:10:30.509 Your body reacts before your mind knows what's going on, especially if you're a verbal processor. 00:10:31.309 --> 00:10:34.450 Verbal processing is when you don't know what you feel until you say it out loud. 00:10:34.889 --> 00:10:38.110 This is a very dangerous thing to be, depending on who you process with. 00:10:38.509 --> 00:10:39.830 The heart's very complicated. 00:10:40.049 --> 00:10:44.090 Sometimes we don't understand it, which makes it very confusing. 00:10:44.730 --> 00:10:47.090 Two, the heart must be guarded. 00:10:47.830 --> 00:10:53.730 Above all else, the proverb says, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. 00:10:53.730 --> 00:10:55.750 Your heart is vulnerable. 00:10:57.009 --> 00:11:02.269 We're going to talk mostly about how it's vulnerable internally, but it's certainly vulnerable externally as well. 00:11:02.429 --> 00:11:03.230 And what do I mean by that? 00:11:03.850 --> 00:11:04.950 People can hurt you. 00:11:06.049 --> 00:11:07.149 Everyone's vulnerable to hurt. 00:11:08.129 --> 00:11:13.049 And what a lot of people do is to stop themselves from getting hurt, they close themselves off to a relationship. 00:11:13.309 --> 00:11:14.929 But that brings a whole other level of hurt. 00:11:16.269 --> 00:11:17.850 Your past can haunt you. 00:11:18.590 --> 00:11:19.669 You ever had dreams? 00:11:19.769 --> 00:11:21.269 You're like, I can't believe I'm still dreaming about that. 00:11:22.049 --> 00:11:24.509 I still have these dreams about high school. 00:11:25.450 --> 00:11:27.149 I don't have 20 years or more in high school. 00:11:27.750 --> 00:11:33.250 I had dreams that I missed the math class for the whole year, and I remembered last day. 00:11:34.830 --> 00:11:36.690 What is wrong with me? 00:11:38.070 --> 00:11:39.529 Why does that happen? 00:11:39.889 --> 00:11:43.389 Perhaps it's when you see somebody you haven't seen in a while and you panic. 00:11:44.950 --> 00:11:50.529 I struggle to walk into Panera because there's a certain individual that has caused me so much grief. 00:11:50.529 --> 00:11:55.690 If I walk into Panera anywhere in the country, I'm afraid he will be there. 00:11:56.309 --> 00:11:57.269 This is not logical. 00:11:57.529 --> 00:11:59.470 I know that, but I feel it. 00:12:00.009 --> 00:12:01.789 We all have those things, right? 00:12:03.309 --> 00:12:04.809 Perhaps if you're a Star Wars fan. 00:12:06.289 --> 00:12:08.049 If you're a Star Wars fan. 00:12:08.990 --> 00:12:10.289 I know, I got you, I got you. 00:12:12.309 --> 00:12:15.830 Has anybody, and it's okay, you're safe in the Kalamazoo Church. 00:12:15.870 --> 00:12:18.850 Can you just raise your hand if you've never seen a Star Wars before? 00:12:19.610 --> 00:12:19.970 Okay. 00:12:20.409 --> 00:12:21.950 You get a free pass for sure. 00:12:22.409 --> 00:12:22.870 You're good. 00:12:23.230 --> 00:12:23.730 Come on, man. 00:12:26.289 --> 00:12:27.289 You know what, though? 00:12:27.950 --> 00:12:29.070 You tried, you tried. 00:12:29.850 --> 00:12:36.330 I won't go into detail, but what you're looking at is a planet-destroying weapon called the Death Star. 00:12:36.330 --> 00:12:40.350 The Death Star was created by the Galactic Empire. 00:12:41.210 --> 00:12:42.330 And you're feeling it, right? 00:12:42.350 --> 00:12:42.870 I'm with you, bro. 00:12:43.669 --> 00:12:45.830 The Death Star looks like an impenetrable fortress. 00:12:45.909 --> 00:12:46.570 It's supposed to be. 00:12:46.629 --> 00:12:48.029 The Death Star has a problem, though. 00:12:49.029 --> 00:12:53.830 In the first Star Wars movie ever made, not the first Star Wars movie chronologically. 00:12:54.149 --> 00:12:54.950 Don't get confused. 00:12:55.350 --> 00:12:56.750 The first one ever made, like in the 70s. 00:12:57.769 --> 00:13:00.429 They discovered a vulnerability in the Death Star. 00:13:00.429 --> 00:13:07.509 There was basically a tunnel that had a breach point outside, a hole in the Death Star. 00:13:08.110 --> 00:13:13.049 If you dropped something far enough down and it hits the button, it explodes the whole thing. 00:13:13.110 --> 00:13:14.049 This is very convenient. 00:13:14.730 --> 00:13:18.090 Star Wars fans struggled with it for 30 years because they were irritated by it. 00:13:18.230 --> 00:13:22.409 And then Star Wars fixed it by making another movie and telling us why it happened. 00:13:23.289 --> 00:13:25.549 Which is actually one of the best Star Wars movies ever made. 00:13:26.990 --> 00:13:28.570 Your heart is like this. 00:13:29.830 --> 00:13:32.070 All of you have vulnerability. 00:13:34.570 --> 00:13:37.149 Most of us have ways that, like, you can't hurt me. 00:13:38.230 --> 00:13:40.850 Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. 00:13:40.909 --> 00:13:42.470 Most of us are like, no, words can hurt pretty bad. 00:13:42.610 --> 00:13:43.029 You know what I mean? 00:13:44.990 --> 00:13:47.049 Maybe you have vulnerability with your family. 00:13:48.129 --> 00:13:51.230 You're a great Christian and then you go home and you forgot you were a Christian. 00:13:52.210 --> 00:13:53.070 You had that before? 00:13:54.110 --> 00:13:58.870 You're like practically Jesus on Sunday. 00:13:59.230 --> 00:14:02.490 And then Monday comes around and you walk into work and you're like, I might be Judas. 00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:03.149 You know what I mean? 00:14:04.149 --> 00:14:08.850 We have certain people, certain stressful situations. 00:14:09.049 --> 00:14:10.090 We have those things. 00:14:11.070 --> 00:14:14.210 You're vulnerable, which is why your heart must be guarded. 00:14:14.330 --> 00:14:19.730 But you're actually more vulnerable to yourself than anything else. 00:14:19.730 --> 00:14:21.610 Because the heart cannot be trusted. 00:14:21.710 --> 00:14:24.830 And we're going to sit here the whole time, the last 15 minutes or so. 00:14:25.610 --> 00:14:30.409 Did you know that the heart has an almost infinite capacity for self-deception? 00:14:32.850 --> 00:14:35.950 Almost infinite is your heart's ability to deceive you. 00:14:37.409 --> 00:14:38.610 What is self-deception? 00:14:39.269 --> 00:14:43.389 When you know the truth, but it's too painful to accept, so you smother it. 00:14:43.889 --> 00:14:52.330 When the implications of a truth are so traumatic that you give in to a clever lie created by yourself to avoid that painful reality. 00:14:53.970 --> 00:14:57.750 The Pharisees encountered this with Jesus on almost a constant level. 00:14:58.330 --> 00:14:59.429 We're going to spend a lot of time. 00:14:59.610 --> 00:15:00.629 I'm just going to have them up here. 00:15:00.710 --> 00:15:10.350 Matthew 23 is kind of a scary set of verses, but an important one because Jesus is constantly battling other people's self-deception. 00:15:10.350 --> 00:15:16.789 Their inability to see their sin, which is hurting not only them, but crushing the people around them. 00:15:17.289 --> 00:15:18.710 This is what self-deception does. 00:15:19.149 --> 00:15:26.870 If you have a good friend or just a friend, it may be hard to have a good friend that's very self-deceived, that doesn't realize how they affect other people. 00:15:27.730 --> 00:15:29.429 It's very hard to know what to do with that. 00:15:32.350 --> 00:15:38.490 The Pharisees, he says to them, woe to you teachers of law and Pharisees to you hypocrites, blind Pharisees. 00:15:39.389 --> 00:15:42.549 First clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will be clean. 00:15:42.669 --> 00:15:45.450 He says you're so focused on other people, you can't see yourself. 00:15:45.490 --> 00:15:46.870 You're blind to yourself. 00:15:47.509 --> 00:15:48.529 He says this a lot. 00:15:48.590 --> 00:15:53.129 I want to give you three examples, some funny with an increasing level of seriousness. 00:15:54.429 --> 00:15:57.649 So St. Patrick's Day in our family has become like a fun event. 00:15:58.809 --> 00:16:03.169 And we, Chris and I, like to lean in to what we call pleasant fictions. 00:16:03.169 --> 00:16:08.190 So we would think pretending leprechauns are real is a pleasant fiction to us. 00:16:09.149 --> 00:16:11.070 Other people don't feel that way, and that's totally fine. 00:16:11.669 --> 00:16:12.730 But we lean in hard. 00:16:13.629 --> 00:16:19.250 I don't have time to show you the video, but I took a two-minute video of convincing my children leprechauns are still real, and it was a delight. 00:16:19.450 --> 00:16:20.350 And I have no problem with it. 00:16:20.570 --> 00:16:22.470 Talk to me afterwards if you want to about that. 00:16:23.330 --> 00:16:25.049 This is a direct quote from my son. 00:16:25.070 --> 00:16:25.750 My son is seven. 00:16:25.850 --> 00:16:26.509 He's quite bright. 00:16:26.509 --> 00:16:34.169 And leading up to it, we were just seeding the ground a little bit with him. 00:16:34.309 --> 00:16:35.210 We were like, hey, I don't know. 00:16:35.470 --> 00:16:36.230 What do your friends say? 00:16:36.350 --> 00:16:38.049 What do the kids say about leprechauns these days? 00:16:38.870 --> 00:16:40.190 And he's like, oh, that they're not real? 00:16:40.330 --> 00:16:41.009 I'm like, oh, we'll see. 00:16:41.269 --> 00:16:42.110 And he'd be like, what do you mean? 00:16:42.149 --> 00:16:42.830 I'm like, I don't know. 00:16:43.389 --> 00:16:43.929 And he'd be like, okay. 00:16:44.070 --> 00:16:44.429 You know what I mean? 00:16:44.509 --> 00:16:46.929 Just kind of like tantalizing bit of information. 00:16:47.590 --> 00:16:49.909 We left for church one day, and I had my friend come over. 00:16:50.389 --> 00:16:54.789 And Rona and I, I was like, just in case leprechauns are real, let's set up a trap because they love gold. 00:16:55.309 --> 00:16:58.649 And we don't have a lot of gold hanging around, but we've got a fake necklace. 00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:00.690 And we'll set up a trap with magnet tiles. 00:17:00.789 --> 00:17:01.269 You've seen these. 00:17:01.289 --> 00:17:02.289 They're like magical toys. 00:17:03.389 --> 00:17:07.650 And the leprechaun will pull it, and it will fall, and it will trap the leprechaun under a laundry basket. 00:17:08.130 --> 00:17:09.529 And so we had fun making it. 00:17:09.670 --> 00:17:11.190 I was like, Adam, don't get your hopes up. 00:17:11.309 --> 00:17:12.348 I don't even know if they're real. 00:17:12.490 --> 00:17:12.990 Maybe they are. 00:17:13.009 --> 00:17:13.529 Maybe they aren't. 00:17:14.250 --> 00:17:17.509 And we come back, and the trap has been sprung because I had a friend come over and spring it. 00:17:17.608 --> 00:17:18.789 So I had plausible deniability. 00:17:19.490 --> 00:17:20.509 So he could say, did you do this? 00:17:20.509 --> 00:17:22.230 And I said, I did not pull that necklace. 00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:25.230 Very directly, I can tell you that. 00:17:26.410 --> 00:17:29.130 So it comes over, and it's gone. 00:17:29.190 --> 00:17:30.430 I wrote a poem from the leprechaun. 00:17:31.009 --> 00:17:32.430 And it was actually, I thought, quite good. 00:17:33.089 --> 00:17:35.029 And it was all about he, he, he. 00:17:35.109 --> 00:17:36.930 He tried to catch me, but maybe next. 00:17:37.690 --> 00:17:39.450 And he was like, this is real. 00:17:39.569 --> 00:17:40.809 But he's seen my writing. 00:17:41.410 --> 00:17:42.890 I have pretty distinctly bad handwriting. 00:17:43.089 --> 00:17:44.329 He knows what it looks like. 00:17:44.910 --> 00:17:48.549 And he looked at it, and I could tell in his heart, he's like, I want this to be real so bad. 00:17:49.309 --> 00:17:50.170 I want this to be real. 00:17:50.170 --> 00:17:51.869 I'm just going to believe this is real. 00:17:52.789 --> 00:17:55.730 And he told me, Dad, this looks nothing like your handwriting. 00:17:56.230 --> 00:17:58.970 In my mind, I was like, I didn't ask him if it looked like my handwriting. 00:17:59.710 --> 00:18:01.670 That's how hard he was leaning into the fiction. 00:18:02.230 --> 00:18:04.910 He was like, this is not, it must be real. 00:18:05.809 --> 00:18:07.769 So like, don't think, like my son's here, right? 00:18:07.769 --> 00:18:08.910 Don't think, don't be that guy. 00:18:08.990 --> 00:18:09.289 You know what I mean? 00:18:09.309 --> 00:18:10.390 He'll be like, I heard the story. 00:18:10.690 --> 00:18:11.430 I'll be like, come on, man. 00:18:14.289 --> 00:18:16.710 He, that's a fairly innocent deception. 00:18:18.069 --> 00:18:20.269 But Rowan engaged in a self-deception there. 00:18:20.390 --> 00:18:21.089 Did you catch that? 00:18:21.369 --> 00:18:23.829 He's kind of like, yeah, you know, like I want to believe this. 00:18:23.910 --> 00:18:25.089 And sometimes that's fine. 00:18:26.029 --> 00:18:27.190 Other times it's not so fine. 00:18:27.230 --> 00:18:37.569 I was recently in a situation where I was tasked with a kind of difficult conversation with a former friend of mine who I had to share some really hard things with. 00:18:37.849 --> 00:18:39.230 Because they were engaged in a conflict. 00:18:40.029 --> 00:18:46.829 And the person that was kind of interceding in the conflict asked, he was kind of a mentor in my life, said, I really need you to go back and say this thing to this guy. 00:18:46.990 --> 00:18:49.549 And I was terrified because he was kind of an authority figure in my life. 00:18:50.049 --> 00:18:55.309 I didn't want to say, it would be like going to your dad and saying, like, you really hurt me in all these ways and I never said it. 00:18:56.329 --> 00:18:58.410 And we talked and I totally chickened out. 00:18:58.450 --> 00:18:58.990 I didn't do it. 00:18:59.170 --> 00:18:59.970 This is earlier this year. 00:19:00.829 --> 00:19:06.410 And I'm not, I wouldn't call myself in general socially a coward, but I had a full coward moment. 00:19:07.069 --> 00:19:10.470 And I was kind of reporting back to my mentor about how it went because he's working with him. 00:19:11.589 --> 00:19:17.589 And my initial response, I knew I didn't do a good job because of Kristen's response after I described it. 00:19:19.630 --> 00:19:23.150 And then I shared it with Jeff is the guy's name who was helping me out. 00:19:23.789 --> 00:19:28.210 And I said to him, I think I did my best at some point along the way. 00:19:28.250 --> 00:19:29.009 That's what I was thinking. 00:19:29.869 --> 00:19:31.150 And he was like, you didn't do your best. 00:19:31.970 --> 00:19:33.369 You didn't do the thing. 00:19:34.269 --> 00:19:36.509 You just made our lives twice as hard. 00:19:37.509 --> 00:19:38.690 You were cowardly. 00:19:38.690 --> 00:19:40.710 He said this to me. 00:19:40.750 --> 00:19:41.470 He said it like four times. 00:19:41.869 --> 00:19:42.769 You are selfish. 00:19:43.650 --> 00:19:45.269 You made this decision for self-preservation. 00:19:45.410 --> 00:19:47.490 I mean, he was just like, let's get it. 00:19:47.589 --> 00:19:48.329 You know what I mean? 00:19:48.630 --> 00:19:50.390 I was just like, you know. 00:19:50.750 --> 00:19:58.029 Kristen was sitting next to me just like, oh, it's pretty rough. 00:19:58.650 --> 00:20:00.750 And it was so good for me. 00:20:01.910 --> 00:20:03.329 It was life-giving for me. 00:20:03.630 --> 00:20:07.789 But I give in to a self-perception that I did my best when I didn't do my best. 00:20:07.789 --> 00:20:08.690 We do that. 00:20:09.349 --> 00:20:10.609 I mean, at least I did my best. 00:20:10.690 --> 00:20:11.369 Did you do your best? 00:20:12.890 --> 00:20:15.210 Perhaps only you know or the people you let in close enough. 00:20:15.269 --> 00:20:15.789 I did that. 00:20:15.990 --> 00:20:21.710 I let myself give in to that deception because I didn't want the consequences of the truth, which is I have to say this to this guy. 00:20:21.710 --> 00:20:22.609 I didn't want that. 00:20:23.130 --> 00:20:31.730 A more extreme example, in World War II at the end of the war when we were liberating German concentration camps, a place called Ordu. 00:20:31.829 --> 00:20:32.670 This is where this is taken. 00:20:32.769 --> 00:20:33.869 That's General Eisenhower there. 00:20:33.869 --> 00:20:39.230 Most concentration camps were very close to villages because they would need them for supplies. 00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:40.470 They'd roll through them. 00:20:40.589 --> 00:20:43.390 They'd actually often bring the prisoners through the village. 00:20:44.089 --> 00:20:50.750 And so Eisenhower, after he had been there for a long time, almost every village he encountered acted like they didn't know. 00:20:51.710 --> 00:20:52.490 I had no idea. 00:20:52.869 --> 00:20:56.009 And we're talking about these are one, two, three miles away, and they could hear the screams. 00:20:57.730 --> 00:21:05.529 And Eisenhower got so fed up with this in this town called Ordu that he made every man, woman, and child get up and walk with him to the camp. 00:21:06.230 --> 00:21:08.289 And he made them clean up the bodies. 00:21:09.230 --> 00:21:14.230 He'd clean up the refuse, and he made them look at what they had allowed to happen. 00:21:15.269 --> 00:21:17.990 And I know this is sensitive, but I think it's part of the story. 00:21:18.470 --> 00:21:22.490 Later that night, the mayor and his wife were found having taken their own life. 00:21:23.509 --> 00:21:23.910 Why? 00:21:23.910 --> 00:21:24.609 Shame. 00:21:26.269 --> 00:21:29.789 They knew what was going on, and they could not face it. 00:21:30.569 --> 00:21:38.269 Not only could they not face it, they were so terrified of the consequences of the truth that they avoided it and allowed this horrible evil to happen. 00:21:38.849 --> 00:21:42.150 This is obviously a really intense story, but perhaps you know where I'm going with it. 00:21:42.150 --> 00:21:46.910 Self-perception is everywhere from innocent to horrific in your life. 00:21:47.789 --> 00:21:47.930 Right? 00:21:48.509 --> 00:21:51.730 And we use two primary tools to rationalize our self-perception. 00:21:52.190 --> 00:22:01.569 But it's very important to understand that the hardest concern with self-preservation, not God, is your instinct in your heart is to preserve comfort. 00:22:02.309 --> 00:22:03.809 Your heart doesn't want to do the hard thing. 00:22:04.170 --> 00:22:07.250 You have to know that about your heart so that you can guard against self-perception. 00:22:08.069 --> 00:22:09.630 Two primary tools we use. 00:22:10.009 --> 00:22:12.109 The first thing we do is we blame shift. 00:22:12.190 --> 00:22:14.789 This is perhaps the first indicator that you may be self-perceived. 00:22:15.349 --> 00:22:17.910 At one point, Jesus is just healed a blind man. 00:22:18.990 --> 00:22:24.210 It's John chapter 9, a really beautiful chapter about this blind man interacting with the Pharisees. 00:22:24.390 --> 00:22:26.250 The guy has been blind since birth. 00:22:27.309 --> 00:22:31.430 The blind man is standing with the Pharisees, and he says, nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a blind man. 00:22:31.549 --> 00:22:35.069 He's kind of testifying about Jesus to this Jewish ruling group. 00:22:37.069 --> 00:22:40.569 And he says, if this man, Jesus, were not from God, he couldn't do anything. 00:22:41.170 --> 00:22:44.509 And to this, the Pharisees replied, you were steeped in sin at birth. 00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:47.230 How dare you lecture us, and they threw him out. 00:22:49.309 --> 00:22:55.170 They can't handle the truth about Jesus because it threatens their power and their influence. 00:22:55.890 --> 00:22:56.910 And so they shift the blame. 00:22:57.009 --> 00:22:59.609 Well, you are a sinner, they say to him. 00:23:00.109 --> 00:23:01.549 You were steeped in sin at birth. 00:23:01.690 --> 00:23:02.210 Get out of here. 00:23:02.569 --> 00:23:03.390 That's their response. 00:23:03.509 --> 00:23:04.890 And of course, you're like, what? 00:23:05.730 --> 00:23:06.529 That's absurd. 00:23:07.250 --> 00:23:11.170 But when we are so afraid of the truth, this is what we do. 00:23:11.589 --> 00:23:13.990 We blame shift, and your heart is great at it. 00:23:14.170 --> 00:23:17.269 All of you, all of us, instinctively, we're great at it. 00:23:17.509 --> 00:23:18.529 And we will get into this. 00:23:19.269 --> 00:23:23.549 The second thing we do is we do what's called virtue signaling, kind of a fun word. 00:23:24.029 --> 00:23:31.190 Going out of your way to draw attention to our good character or moral uprightness, often as a way to distract from our moral failure. 00:23:32.230 --> 00:23:33.369 So let me give you an example. 00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:39.809 Jesus says to the Pharisees, woe to you, Pharisees and teachers of the law. 00:23:39.809 --> 00:23:45.809 You're like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of bones. 00:23:46.450 --> 00:23:51.309 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous, but on the inside you're full of hypocrisy and wickedness. 00:23:51.490 --> 00:23:51.950 Like, whew. 00:23:53.049 --> 00:23:54.869 He is just saying, look, you look great on the outside. 00:23:55.009 --> 00:23:58.509 You call a lot of attention to the outside, but inside, it's disgusting. 00:23:59.829 --> 00:24:00.009 Right? 00:24:00.369 --> 00:24:01.289 We virtue signal. 00:24:01.410 --> 00:24:04.390 Let me give you a story to bring it together. 00:24:04.390 --> 00:24:08.490 There was a young boy, seven, six years old. 00:24:09.130 --> 00:24:12.809 And his dad was like, hey, you can play for 30 minutes, and then we're going to do a show. 00:24:13.210 --> 00:24:14.089 And the boy said, great. 00:24:14.150 --> 00:24:15.869 And he's like, hey, you can play the piano if you want. 00:24:15.930 --> 00:24:16.750 His son wanted to play the piano. 00:24:17.109 --> 00:24:22.450 He's like, but you've got to clean up first, because the boy asked to use the plastic or the paper bags from the grocery store. 00:24:22.970 --> 00:24:24.490 And so he's like, I want to play with these paper bags. 00:24:24.869 --> 00:24:28.150 And dad says, that's totally fine, but don't do anything until you clean them up afterwards. 00:24:28.849 --> 00:24:32.470 Dad comes down 30 minutes later, and the bags are everywhere in shredded mess. 00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:34.650 Of course, never experiences my kids. 00:24:34.730 --> 00:24:35.589 They never disobey. 00:24:35.809 --> 00:24:36.269 They're perfect. 00:24:36.430 --> 00:24:37.869 They never play with things they're not supposed to. 00:24:37.910 --> 00:24:38.529 I can't relate. 00:24:40.230 --> 00:24:44.730 Bags are everywhere, and the son is playing worship music on the piano. 00:24:47.710 --> 00:24:49.369 And the dad says, what are you doing? 00:24:49.849 --> 00:24:51.250 The son says, I'm worshiping God. 00:24:51.890 --> 00:24:56.069 And the dad says this, you have no business praising God while you live in disobedience. 00:24:57.789 --> 00:24:58.230 See? 00:24:59.109 --> 00:25:00.529 Yeah, maybe too hard, maybe. 00:25:02.309 --> 00:25:02.970 What's his point? 00:25:04.750 --> 00:25:10.450 The boy is like sanctifying his disobedience by like baptizing his action. 00:25:11.309 --> 00:25:11.849 Does that make sense? 00:25:12.329 --> 00:25:18.529 He's doing this thing that I guess is good, and he's making it, he's covering up his disobedience. 00:25:18.589 --> 00:25:19.569 It's called virtue signaling. 00:25:20.430 --> 00:25:24.630 Yeah, I didn't tell the truth, but I mean, think about the way I serve on Sunday. 00:25:24.630 --> 00:25:26.970 And you're like, we're not talking about that. 00:25:27.450 --> 00:25:28.549 I'm very grateful for that. 00:25:28.730 --> 00:25:29.690 But why didn't you do this? 00:25:29.829 --> 00:25:31.450 Well, you know, whatever. 00:25:31.569 --> 00:25:33.369 You draw, I'm not Hitler. 00:25:33.630 --> 00:25:34.910 Like, that's the ultimate, you know what I mean? 00:25:34.930 --> 00:25:36.410 Like, the ultimate virtue signaling. 00:25:36.509 --> 00:25:38.329 You're like, okay, like, is anybody? 00:25:38.549 --> 00:25:38.950 You know what I mean? 00:25:39.049 --> 00:25:41.049 Like, if that's our comparison, we're in trouble. 00:25:42.569 --> 00:25:43.890 And this is what we do. 00:25:45.109 --> 00:25:48.369 Oftentimes, self-deception comes up when we have to make a choice. 00:25:48.650 --> 00:25:51.670 And you know the right choice, but you don't want to make the right choice. 00:25:51.670 --> 00:25:55.410 And so we say, I prayed about it. 00:25:56.509 --> 00:25:57.829 We say, I prayed about it. 00:25:57.869 --> 00:26:03.910 We like sanctify our knowing bad decision by like praying over it. 00:26:04.670 --> 00:26:05.289 And what do I mean? 00:26:05.369 --> 00:26:06.349 Of course, prayer is very powerful. 00:26:06.529 --> 00:26:08.569 However, prayer is like cookies. 00:26:09.309 --> 00:26:10.369 You need the right ingredients. 00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:14.269 I do love a chocolate chip cookie. 00:26:14.509 --> 00:26:17.109 I love ice cream more, but that's a whole other sermon. 00:26:20.509 --> 00:26:23.470 Chocolate chip cookies, there are a lot of essential ingredients. 00:26:23.470 --> 00:26:28.710 I think there are probably two primary essential ingredients, sugar and someone that can keep an eye on them. 00:26:30.029 --> 00:26:33.690 Because the ingredients may all be there, but if you over bake it, bad. 00:26:34.750 --> 00:26:37.190 Two ingredients that are super important, right? 00:26:37.890 --> 00:26:43.589 I think in prayer, there are two very important ingredients, humility and honest people. 00:26:44.450 --> 00:26:46.569 I'm going to close with this thought, okay? 00:26:47.569 --> 00:26:54.779 If you make a cookie and you put salt instead of sugar, terrible. 00:26:55.980 --> 00:26:57.119 I've done this before. 00:26:58.000 --> 00:27:01.000 And they kind of look, you can make, that's a real mistake you can make. 00:27:01.180 --> 00:27:09.779 Like a lot of people that put their sugar and their salt in unidentifiable like cylindrical ceramic bowls look the same. 00:27:09.900 --> 00:27:12.900 And when you look at sugar and salt, they look very similar. 00:27:13.619 --> 00:27:16.779 This is a mistake the novice baker can make, right? 00:27:17.180 --> 00:27:20.119 But if you make this mistake, it has devastating consequences. 00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:21.660 Your cookies are unedible. 00:27:21.660 --> 00:27:25.119 There are some times where you're like, oh, you put a little too much, but it's okay. 00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:26.299 You don't do that. 00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:28.339 It's hard to fake through a salt cookie. 00:27:29.160 --> 00:27:29.960 Hey, how is it? 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:31.359 It's different. 00:27:32.779 --> 00:27:34.240 It's more like I can't do it. 00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:35.519 I can't eat this. 00:27:36.980 --> 00:27:38.119 It's not a preference thing. 00:27:38.160 --> 00:27:38.819 It's just bad. 00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:44.000 I think that escaping from self-perception requires two ingredients. 00:27:44.039 --> 00:27:48.460 The ironic thing about self-perception is that you don't know if you're diseased for the most part. 00:27:48.460 --> 00:27:52.000 You can be innocent and good hearted and be self-deceived. 00:27:52.160 --> 00:27:53.380 It's not always malicious. 00:27:53.940 --> 00:27:55.140 That makes it terrifying. 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:56.740 Because you're like, how do I know? 00:27:57.140 --> 00:27:57.859 This is how you know. 00:27:58.319 --> 00:27:59.700 Humble, fair, and honest people. 00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:05.380 So I think that without humility, prayer is a way just to confirm your own bias. 00:28:06.200 --> 00:28:10.440 So I think that if you're not truly humble in your prayer, and I'll give an example of what I mean. 00:28:10.920 --> 00:28:12.960 What happens is that you make a decision. 00:28:13.740 --> 00:28:19.220 And so that you can feel justified in that decision before God or people, we say a little prayer. 00:28:20.119 --> 00:28:22.019 Oh God, I pray that you'd help me do the right thing. 00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:24.359 But we both know you don't mean that. 00:28:25.079 --> 00:28:25.880 You know what I'm saying? 00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:28.839 We both honestly want to know what God thinks. 00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:33.380 You want to preserve your life and your comfort. 00:28:34.180 --> 00:28:37.160 And so you pray to kind of just, you kind of baptize that thing. 00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:40.140 But that's not even prayer. 00:28:41.380 --> 00:28:42.799 That's like a journal entry. 00:28:43.220 --> 00:28:43.720 That's different. 00:28:45.240 --> 00:28:46.720 Humility is, you must. 00:28:46.839 --> 00:28:50.079 And the thing is that I prayed about it, it's like a get-out-of-jail-free card. 00:28:50.160 --> 00:28:51.700 It's kind of like, I studied it in the Bible. 00:28:53.500 --> 00:28:55.400 You know, like, oh, I studied it. 00:28:55.440 --> 00:28:58.279 Well, so have millions of other people and arrived at different places. 00:28:58.940 --> 00:29:00.460 So I studied that thing. 00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:01.339 It's not enough. 00:29:01.579 --> 00:29:02.460 There has to be more. 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:04.339 I think a humble prayer looks like this. 00:29:04.339 --> 00:29:05.079 Psalm 139. 00:29:06.019 --> 00:29:08.359 Search me, oh God, and know my heart. 00:29:08.619 --> 00:29:10.279 Test me and know my anxious thoughts. 00:29:10.619 --> 00:29:14.140 See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. 00:29:14.779 --> 00:29:16.220 That's a really humble prayer. 00:29:16.940 --> 00:29:19.500 That's like, God, I want to do what's right. 00:29:19.759 --> 00:29:22.140 I don't know if this decision is right. 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:24.200 I know what I want to be right. 00:29:24.599 --> 00:29:27.579 But I'm not sure what I want is what you want. 00:29:28.339 --> 00:29:31.180 Pray that you would help me to want what you want. 00:29:31.180 --> 00:29:34.079 Or at the very least, make it clear what you want. 00:29:34.539 --> 00:29:35.500 And I'll do it anyway. 00:29:36.380 --> 00:29:37.019 You know what I'm saying? 00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:39.279 Sometimes we're like, I'll do it when my heart's there. 00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:41.140 That's not Christianity. 00:29:42.119 --> 00:29:44.940 Jesus says all the time, he's like, you're not going to want to do it, but you're going to do it. 00:29:45.220 --> 00:29:47.920 Oftentimes our actions actually, our heart follows our actions. 00:29:48.220 --> 00:29:51.720 You choose to obey, and your heart catches up. 00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:54.440 Because your heart moves pretty slow when it comes to what it wants. 00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:56.519 But your heart can be changed. 00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:57.720 Humble prayer is the first key. 00:29:57.720 --> 00:30:00.980 And secondly, you've got to get people permission to speak into your life. 00:30:01.559 --> 00:30:03.599 You've got to have people be honest with you. 00:30:03.819 --> 00:30:05.339 We're a very dishonest culture. 00:30:06.259 --> 00:30:07.019 Here's what I mean. 00:30:07.420 --> 00:30:12.299 Is you can say like, hey, how did you, like I could say to someone, hey, what do you think about my kids? 00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:17.299 And if they know that I can't take their critique, they're going to be like, they're great. 00:30:17.660 --> 00:30:19.279 I love your kids. 00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:22.019 But what they really think is, I can't handle it. 00:30:22.700 --> 00:30:23.740 I'm going crazy. 00:30:23.740 --> 00:30:25.180 Or, hey, what do you think about my cooking? 00:30:28.240 --> 00:30:30.160 How honest do you want me to be? 00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:31.920 Those cookies were filled with salt, yeah. 00:30:33.240 --> 00:30:35.279 You know, we're not a naturally honest culture. 00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:40.680 Most people aren't looking for honesty when they say, oh, how was the bed that you slept in last night? 00:30:40.819 --> 00:30:41.400 It was great. 00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:44.140 No one wants to hear, like, you need to buy a new one. 00:30:44.259 --> 00:30:44.720 You know what I mean? 00:30:44.940 --> 00:30:48.200 Like, what do you think about, how do you feel like I'm doing right now? 00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:49.440 I feel like you're doing good. 00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:54.960 But even honest people struggle to be honest with those questions. 00:30:55.660 --> 00:31:02.559 So if you really want to know what your character is like, what people think about you, you've got to choose who you're going to ask. 00:31:03.339 --> 00:31:04.680 You can't ask the flatterer. 00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:07.819 You can't ask the person that, like, doesn't have a backbone. 00:31:08.279 --> 00:31:09.160 They're very sweet. 00:31:09.259 --> 00:31:10.000 They're very gentle. 00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:10.859 They're very kind. 00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:13.880 But they're not brutally honest. 00:31:14.519 --> 00:31:16.079 That's probably not the best person. 00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:18.460 You talk to that person when you're struggling, and that's fine. 00:31:19.420 --> 00:31:21.559 We need the Barnabas and the turkey. 00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:27.119 But you also need the Paul or the Jesus, who's just like, you ready for this? 00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:27.740 You know what I mean? 00:31:27.799 --> 00:31:28.700 You're like, I don't know. 00:31:28.859 --> 00:31:29.299 You know what I mean? 00:31:29.339 --> 00:31:30.299 Like, am I ready for this? 00:31:30.539 --> 00:31:32.259 You do need that in your life. 00:31:32.380 --> 00:31:34.720 And sometimes the only way to get it is to give people full permission. 00:31:35.299 --> 00:31:41.019 Sometimes you've got to tell people, and I feel this in any form of leadership too, in any organization or capacity. 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:44.460 If you want people to give you loving critique, you have to open the door hard. 00:31:44.940 --> 00:31:48.700 You've got to be like, look, I want you to tell me what you really think. 00:31:48.759 --> 00:31:51.839 Like, I want you to tell me what you're telling your wife on the way home from church. 00:31:53.640 --> 00:31:54.960 Maybe be a little gentle. 00:31:56.420 --> 00:31:57.720 Do you hear what I'm saying? 00:31:58.079 --> 00:32:05.759 Like, with your spouse, with your best friends, with your mentor, that will guard you against self-deception. 00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:11.420 Make a good choice, pray, and then be like, I want you to tell me the thing that you think I can't take. 00:32:11.539 --> 00:32:12.579 Like, I can take it. 00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:13.299 I can take it. 00:32:13.799 --> 00:32:17.240 But then when they say it, you need to take it. 00:32:18.200 --> 00:32:21.599 Because if you crumble, they're not going to do it next time. 00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:23.680 You're like, it's so hard. 00:32:23.819 --> 00:32:25.400 Like, I thought I could take it, but I can't. 00:32:25.420 --> 00:32:25.900 You know what I mean? 00:32:26.099 --> 00:32:31.980 Like, what that will show is that when you ask for it, you don't really mean it. 00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:32.359 Why? 00:32:32.660 --> 00:32:34.299 Because you're not willing to take it. 00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:35.579 That's a lack of humility. 00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:38.200 Self-deception is a very real thing. 00:32:38.279 --> 00:32:39.619 I've needed to be guarded against it. 00:32:39.619 --> 00:32:43.099 I mean, there's so many things that I've had to work through. 00:32:43.220 --> 00:32:47.920 Even with my tic with Kristen, there are times I wanted to avoid the conversation about it because I was so embarrassed. 00:32:49.279 --> 00:32:53.660 Socially, it's such an embarrassing, unfortunate thing as a minister. 00:32:54.160 --> 00:32:54.779 What do you do? 00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:56.940 I do a lot of public speaking. 00:32:57.500 --> 00:32:57.759 Bummer. 00:32:58.039 --> 00:32:58.420 You know what I mean? 00:32:58.519 --> 00:33:01.160 Like, I do a lot of one-on-one interaction. 00:33:01.500 --> 00:33:02.319 You know what I mean? 00:33:02.339 --> 00:33:04.079 It's not like I just work at a desk all day. 00:33:04.220 --> 00:33:05.599 I'm with people all the time. 00:33:06.240 --> 00:33:07.000 It's very difficult. 00:33:07.000 --> 00:33:10.839 I feel like for a long time, I kept acting like I was fine. 00:33:11.039 --> 00:33:11.960 I totally wasn't fine. 00:33:12.380 --> 00:33:13.559 I just didn't want to talk about it. 00:33:13.799 --> 00:33:15.079 I didn't want to open up about it. 00:33:15.359 --> 00:33:17.579 And I didn't want people to tell me how it affected them. 00:33:18.079 --> 00:33:21.819 So I just never grew because I was never able to take it. 00:33:21.839 --> 00:33:23.019 We've got to be ready to take it, right? 00:33:24.599 --> 00:33:31.059 So if you want to love God with all your heart, you can't give in to the self-deception, which means you've got to know yourself. 00:33:31.059 --> 00:33:41.119 So the action points for you today are one, have a great prayer where you really ask God to expose the parts of your character you are blind to. 00:33:42.980 --> 00:33:45.900 And specifically ask him to do that through specific people. 00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:49.299 Think of the person that you're like, ooh, they're going to say it. 00:33:50.380 --> 00:33:51.359 Talk to that person. 00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:54.440 Have the conversation with your spouse. 00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:59.359 Perhaps with your children, if they're old enough to give you a coherent answer. 00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:00.980 What do you think? 00:34:01.420 --> 00:34:02.819 How do you feel like I'm doing as a dad? 00:34:03.259 --> 00:34:03.599 Whoa. 00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:08.559 I've started to ask that of my son, and the answers are actually pretty enlightened. 00:34:09.699 --> 00:34:12.019 Think of who that person is and ask the question. 00:34:12.079 --> 00:34:12.199 Amen? 00:34:13.219 --> 00:34:14.380 So good to be with you guys. 00:34:14.460 --> 00:34:15.800 Thanks for listening, for being here. 00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:16.539 I love you. 00:34:16.860 --> 00:34:17.699 I love being here. 00:34:17.739 --> 00:34:18.619 I love this church. 00:34:18.739 --> 00:34:27.039 I love that you're just like we baptize people, and we do pool parties, and we talk to each other during service. 00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:28.320 It's just we're hanging out. 00:34:28.619 --> 00:34:29.480 I love it. 00:34:29.980 --> 00:34:32.380 And congratulations on the great baptism. 00:34:32.559 --> 00:34:33.699 I'm so excited for you. 00:34:33.900 --> 00:34:34.699 This is a beautiful thing. 00:34:34.780 --> 00:34:37.400 So let's close with a prayer, and then I believe we will be dismissed. 00:34:37.460 --> 00:34:39.880 You can go get your kids and have a great day. 00:34:40.039 --> 00:34:40.460 Sounds good? 00:34:41.860 --> 00:34:44.960 Father God, we love you, and we're just so grateful for you. 00:34:45.019 --> 00:34:47.159 We're grateful for your provision and your love. 00:34:47.619 --> 00:34:49.400 Guard us against self-deception, Father. 00:34:49.500 --> 00:34:56.099 Help us to have the courage to hear, not only to hear what other people have to say, but to say what other people need to hear. 00:34:56.099 --> 00:35:04.260 And to help us to accept that, because we want to be close to you, because being close to you is more important to us than appearing spiritual or put together. 00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.440 None of that matters. 00:35:05.579 --> 00:35:06.199 All that matters is you. 00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:06.639 We love you. 00:35:06.679 --> 00:35:07.380 Thank you for this church. 00:35:07.460 --> 00:35:13.239 I pray that you continue to bless the church in incredible ways, God, in every way, in maturity, in fruitfulness. 00:35:13.400 --> 00:35:19.619 I pray for the children in the church to grow up and to just love you and to have this beautiful vision of you, to see very clearly. 00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:22.920 I pray for those that even today are coming for the first or second or third time. 00:35:23.019 --> 00:35:24.119 I pray this will just become home. 00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:25.260 We love you so much. 00:35:26.099 --> 00:35:26.579 Amen. 00:35:26.940 --> 00:35:27.780 You are dismissed. 00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:28.539 Love you guys. 00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:29.119 Great to be together. 00:35:31.880 --> 00:35:36.480 Thank you so much for listening to the Kalamazoo Church of Christ podcast. 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:40.159 If you're in the Kalamazoo area, we'd love to get connected. 00:35:40.380 --> 00:35:47.760 Please go to kalamazoo.church and fill in your information to come to a Sunday service or any other event that we have going on. 00:35:47.860 --> 00:35:50.400 In any case, you'll be hearing from us next week.