237: It's Not Enough, It Never Was.

"It's Not Enough" - Dustin Kensrue (In the episode, Nole mistakenly stated that this song was performed by The Modern Post)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeRSlQlPkpo&ab_channel=DustinKensrueVEVO

In this solo episode, Nole gets vulnerable about the universal, timeless struggle for meaning and satisfaction. Drawing inspiration from the ancient wisdom of Ecclesiastes and the powerful song "It's Not Enough" by Dustin Kensrue, he explores why our pursuits of worldly comfort, pleasure, and success always leave us feeling empty.

Reflecting on his recent experience at a Fire Up program, Nole shares how our modern battles with things like alcohol, pornography, and even doom-scrolling are simply new versions of an old story—chasing after the wind. He shares a raw, personal story of facing a powerful moment of temptation in his own journey to quit nicotine and introduces a simple yet profound phrase to use as a weapon in those moments: "It's not enough."

This episode is a challenge to look past the "mediocre things" we use to find temporary peace and instead focus on the one thing that offers true, lasting fulfillment: a relationship with God.

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Transcript

Nole (00:13.902)
We all struggle with the same things or similar things in different capacities. And the answer, the truth is the same every time, regardless of what problem you bring. The answer is a relationship with God. And I find that so encouraging and so challenging because how often do I just go to the mediocre thing, looking for that peace and that comfort.

Nole (00:47.372)
to do things a little bit differently today.

I need you to go listen to something else before you start this episode. I have put a link at the very top of the show notes to a song called it's not enough by the modern post. It's on YouTube. And before you listen to this episode, I need you to go listen to that song. If you're not driving and you're in a place that's safe, you should watch the music video. Listen to the words. Put it on high volume.

And just know that prior to recording this episode, I did the same thing. And I'm going to explain to you why in the context of the episode, but this is important to me. So go do that and then come back and listen to the rest of the episode.

Nole (01:49.643)
Welcome back to the fire you carry podcast. This is Noel. I am here solo today. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for listening to that song, possibly watching it. As I said in the beginning, I just did the same thing. That's an older song. It's been out for about 11 years and it still moves me when I listen to it, especially when I watch.

Dustin Kinsrew singing it in the video. That's why I would recommend watching the video if you can. It adds a level of power to it that the simple audio alone can't achieve, but it gives me, it gives me chills. And the reason it gives me chills is it's, it's obviously well delivered. I love the way Dustin sings. I think he's a master at his craft.

The slow build of this song really appeals to me. It's the type of music that I like. I like music that starts off soft and then grows more powerful. I like the contrast of that, but really the reason this appeals to me is in the lyrics.

And we're going to get to what this song is about. Although I'm sure most of you picked up on it immediately, but the reason this came to my attention again over the past few days.

is we just finished class 13 of the fire program last weekend. And it was an amazing class, we had an amazing group of guys come join us up in the mountains. And it was just an incredible experience, a very powerful experience, a very fun experience. And I can't really describe that to you. And I'm not going to try you really just have to come out and experience it for yourself. But

Nole (03:38.881)
What I will say is that something I've been reflecting on for the past week...

is this idea that there's nothing new under the sun. And that phrase actually comes out of a book in the Old Testament called Ecclesiastes. And I'm just going to read Ecclesiastes chapter one, verses two and three. Vanity of vanities says the preacher vanity of vanities. All is vanity. What does a man gain by all the toil?

at which he toils under the sun. Really that that first verse there. And again, I'm starting with verse two.

It just captures this idea. And if you look at the translation of the word vanity that we use today.

It comes from a Hebrew word that literally means vapor or smoke or a puff of wind. And it's this idea that the things that we chase in this world to bring us happiness, to bring us fulfillment, to bring us meaning in our lives. They are that they are a vapor. They are smoke. It's like chasing after the wind when you pursue

Nole (05:04.096)
things like that. And the reason this came to my mind, after the program, this part of the program is sharing my own story and the difficulties that I have been through that my wife and I've been through and the things that I chased attempting to find that peace, that fulfillment, that happiness and how that turned out, which was not good.

And as part of sharing my story at the program, and as part of others who do the same with their stories, we then begin to dig into the things that the men who come up to join us are dealing with have struggled with are walking through and how they're dealing with it, what they are trying to do in order to find peace and fulfillment and meaning in their lives. In the context of whatever it is that they've been through, because we've all been through something

And in the book of Ecclesiastes, he calls himself the preacher. This is believed to be Solomon, the son of David. And he details his search through life. And this is coming from someone who is incredibly powerful. He's the king of Israel. He has immense wealth and power to the extent that there's not really very much of a comparison we can make to a modern day figure because we have lots of people who

have a lot of money and we have lots of people who have a lot of power and I mean, there were probably some examples, but it wouldn't really do to compare. This man has everything can have everything did have everything and he pursued everything in his search for really what, is the meaning of life? What is our purpose under the sun? What, what are we here for? What are we supposed to be doing? And what really can bring me

satisfaction, what can bring me peace. And as I reflected back on the men who came up to the program, and were willing to share their struggles and share what they were going through the things that they were wrestling with and what they were dealing with. I heard reflections of my own story of the things in my own past that I had pursued. And I also heard reflections of exactly the same results. When I use alcohol as a coping mechanism to protect me from

Nole (07:30.784)
the pain of losing our firstborn son Asher. That was not an effective strategy. And so at this program at other programs, I hear the same thing echoed. And there's a multitude of things that as humans we, we run to, or we have a tendency to run to in order to try to figure out why are we here? What can bring me meaning? What can bring me fulfillment? And like I said, at

beginning of this, there's nothing new under the sun, this principle that we share and teach at the program that we try to pass on other men, it's not something that we found or that we invented. It's something that's been around since the beginning of time, because it is rooted in truth, which isn't just true for a time. It's true always across all time. The nature of truth is that it's true and it doesn't

matter what your circumstances or your opinion or your place in the timeline. It's just simply true. And this is one of those things. And the writer of Ecclesiastes details his search for meaning and purpose and satisfaction. And he details how he searched for those things in seeking wisdom and knowledge, pleasure, and wealth, toil,

work that would be like your career, your job finding meaning and doing something purposeful. And how none of these things gave him any lasting fulfillment, there would be temporary fulfillment, but then it would be gone. It wasn't lasting, which is back to that. That phrase at the beginning that all is vanity. It's like chasing after the wind. It's not something that you can do would be a fool's errand to try you can't even imagine what that would look like chasing after the wind. It's so impossible.

And this man from ancient history is comparing all of these things to that. And so when I look at my own life and listen to the stories of men that come up who are struggling with things who have dealt with with difficulties and trials and who are looking for this meaning and the satisfaction, I hear reoccurring themes. Things like alcohol, things like nicotine, other drugs, marijuana, stuff like that.

Nole (09:52.17)
pornography, ways of comfort and distraction, things like streaming Netflix or doom scrolling on your phone or pursuing pleasure in buying more toys, having the boat, buying the quads, whatever it may be. All of these things are reoccurring themes. And while in the moment, I don't think most of us realize that we are actively seeking meaning and satisfaction in these things. We really are. And we're looking for that.

But this man from antiquity is telling us that all of that is vanity. It's all a vapor. We're chasing something that just will not satisfy cannot satisfy. And so as I was reflecting on all this, I, I remembered this song, it's actually a song that has been a heavy part of my life at times, but I haven't listened to it in quite a few years. So I went and found it again. And it just really nails the theme.

of this book, Ecclesiastes and the theme, the theme of my own life that I've walked through and the theme of watching other men walk through this same thing. And the phrase that he uses over and over and over again in that song. And again, if you didn't listen to it at the beginning, you really should pause and go listen to

Nole (11:11.368)
I find it to be very powerful and I can't help but think that you will too. But the phrase that he keeps using over and over and over again is, it's not enough.

Nole (11:23.378)
At one point, he says, it's not enough. It never was. And he's detailing all of these things that he could do or that he could pursue or that he has pursued. And it's a reflection of the book of Ecclesiastes. That's what this song is written about. But it's a reflection about all of our lives, really. And I don't have the same power or influence as King Solomon did, of course. But I have attempted at different times in my life to pursue

a lot of these same things at different levels, probably, right? I'm not building palaces to myself or, you know, creating vast gardens, but all of these things we've all explored and we've all looked to for that satisfaction for that meaning. And just like this man who wrote this thousands of years ago, none of it ever stacks up. None of it ever works. It's not enough.

And you guys know me if you've been listening to this podcast for a while. I love slogans. I love I love quotes. I love creeds. love things that I can latch onto and attach some meaning to and then carry that. And it can be a reminder to me at times when I'm struggling with something or when I'm weak or when I want to encourage someone else. And so I kind of collect these things. And as I was reflecting on this today and thinking about talking about it on the podcast,

The phrase it's not enough really stood out to me. And I thought about it. And I thought about it in the context of nicotine addiction. And I'm sorry for talking about this again, but I'm really not. It's something that I'm going through right now. And so it's, it seems applicable and, and current to me while I was at the program, there was nicotine pouches around, right? It's a very common thing that a lot of guys in the fire service and really even in everywhere are using. And so there were tens or cans of it around.

And I'm not using it. And most of the guys in the program know that because they listen to the podcast and they're probably tired of hearing me talk about it. But again, this is my personal journey. This is something that I've personally been convicted about. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, go back a few episodes. You can listen to that. So that temptation is there at the program. And I'm in a context where we're, we're moving. I'm trying to run the schedule and there's times where I'm talking and giving presentations and all of these things that

Nole (13:46.866)
make my brain say to me, no, it'd be really nice to have a pouch right now. It'd really be helpful to calm you down or to, to clear your head or make you a better communicator, whatever. There's all this temptation and I'm, I'm doing really good and I'm not, I'm not going down that road. I'm not, I'm not bumming a pouch off of a buddy. I'm doing good.

And then I get hit especially hard. The guys are doing jujitsu and I'm organizing the next thing. And I go over to, get something out of my bag. And this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I see a can and it's sitting there. One of the guys had taken out of his pocket. So he go to jujitsu and there's a can sitting there. And I know that all these guys are my friends. And if I picked up that can and took a pouch out, they would not say a word. You know, the guy's not going to be like, Hey, what are you doing? You stealing my pouches? Like worst case scenario.

They might be like, Hey man, I thought you quit, but no one's paying attention because they're all doing jujitsu. So I get this moment of temptation to grab this can, open it up and just, just borrow one pouch. And I tell myself, no, I'm not doing that. And the reason in that moment that I tell myself I'm not doing that is because I'm, I'm concerned somebody, my friends, Kevin, especially is going to see me and he's going to call me out in front of the group. And I don't want to deal with that. So I don't do it. But then I go to my backpack.

And this is a backpack that I carry to and from work with me every day. I have all my stuff in there. I go into my backpack and I reach into one of my pockets and I reached down deep because initially what I'm looking for isn't there. And lo and behold, at the bottom of this pocket is a can of nicotine pouches. And I have no idea how long this has been lost in the bottom of this pocket. It has to have been six months that it's just been down there that I somehow I lost it in there, forgot about it. It's just been in there. I had no idea.

And I pulled it out and I looked at it and I shook it and it's sure enough, it's got pouches in it. And I'm just immediately just consumed with temptation. I'm just ready to put a pouch in and quote unquote, you know, feel better. And it's no big deal. No one's going to know now because they're not going to see me borrowing from someone else. Right. I've just found it. So I slip it into my pocket and I'm struggling, I'm I'm wrestling with this because I know I don't want to do it. And I have this internal struggle and

Nole (16:07.986)
Long story short, I go into the restroom and I open it up. I look at the pouches and I dump them in the toilet and I flush the toilet and I throw the can away and I don't feel immediately better. I don't feel like I've won this great battle. I feel just kind of crappy and like, man, that was rough. I really wanted to use nicotine right there and I didn't do it, but I don't really feel great. So I had that moment and I feel like I conquered that. I'm, you know, I'm proud of myself to the extent that I feel like I appropriately could be.

it again, every time I talk about this, I feel really silly. But, but for me personally, that's a battle that I'm in right now, right? Regardless of where you're at with nicotine, you can recognize this and you know, you're battling something else, whether it's alcohol or pornography or an addiction to Instagram or whatever it is, you're battling something and you go through those same moments, right? This is just an example of a moment you would go through with something that is a vapor, right? But that is something that you're pursuing in order to look for that satisfaction or that

peace or comfort or whatever it is. And so I'm looking for that. I'm wanting that from this thing. But I know that it doesn't provide that because I've gone down that road and I know that it doesn't provide that. And so this phrase back to the phrase in the song, it's not enough. I thought about that. And I thought, what if I just took that phrase and I remembered it. And in moments like that, where I pull that can out and I'm tempted to do something that I've told my wife, I'm not going to do that.

that I've told myself I'm not going to do, that I've talked to God about and given to God and said, I don't want to do this anymore. Take this away from me. What about if in that moment I look at that thing and I go, it's not enough.

I might even say it out loud. I might even say it out loud, loudly. It's not enough because the reality is it's not enough. And I know that to be true, but my heart still wants it because it's the easy path, but it's not enough. so for me, the way my brain works, things like this are helpful to me. This is something that I just started thinking about today. I'm going to try this out, but I thought how cool would it be if

Nole (18:16.072)
as a tribe of men, whether you're a fire up program guy or you're a podcast guy, wherever you're at, if it became something where we actually admonish each other and encourage each other with this phrase that means so much, that has so much wrapped up into it, right? All of these ideas and all of these principles and all of this ancient wisdom that is true because it's from the Lord who created the heavens and the earth. He created us, he created all of these things. And so it's true the way this works or does not work. And if we just tied all that up in, it's not enough.

as a reminder to ourselves, but not only to ourselves, but to you to each other, to our friends, when we see each other struggling with something, just a reminder. And I get excited about this stuff. Maybe this doesn't fire you up, but this gets me excited because I love something like that. Because in that moment, I had a commitment, I had a belief, I had a plan, but I almost failed. And I feel like if I had had something that was a short, quick, easy phrase,

something to remind me of this entire principle. And really, I feel like that steals so much of the power away from the thing, whatever it is. If you're just looking at it from the perspective of, I want to do this right now, but what I'm trying to get out of it, it's not going to give me. It's not enough. And at the end of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon brings it back around and he says, paraphrasing.

that a life of reverence and belief and obedience to God is the only thing that has any eternal value. That meaning and purpose and peace cannot be found in earthly things and the things that surround us in this world. It can only be found in a relationship with the God who created us. And everything else is futility. It's chasing after the wind. It's a vapor. Everything under the sun is vanity, a vapor.

Here one moment, gone the next.

Nole (20:20.542)
And the thing that gives our life purpose is God is a relationship with him. And that doesn't mean that we can't enjoy the things of this world, right? There's a time and a place and there's an appropriateness for that. And so much of this world was given to us by God as a gift to enjoy and through enjoying to, bring honor and praise and glory to him. So there's an appropriate time and a place for this stuff, but the balance is you got to focus on him first and then the rest.

will fall into place. I felt compelled to share this with you today because time and time again, I see myself reflected in the men that come up to the fire up program. In their struggles and in their lives and the things that they're dealing with, the things that they're battling or even the things that they're jubilant about and that they're celebrating and that are good. I see myself reflected. There's nothing new under the sun. My life path is different than yours. The things that I've gone through is different than most.

But at the same time, it's all the same. We all struggle with the same things or similar things in different capacities. And the answer, the truth is the same every time, regardless of what problem you bring. The answer is a relationship with God. And I find that so encouraging and so challenging because how often do I just go to the mediocre thing, looking for that peace and that comfort? How often do I just check out?

How often do I go and work myself into the ground with a workout or go to nicotine or go to alcohol or whatever it is. And those are things of my past, but those are things that I've struggled with before. There's still a temptation. How often do I do that instead of going to God? And that's my challenge for you today. It's not enough. It's not enough for what it's worth. Take that phrase and reflect on it.

Take that phrase and look at your own life and try to find out. Ask yourself as God, are there things in my life that I'm leaning on that aren't enough?

Nole (22:34.027)
Ask God to show them to you. He will. And then it's time to shift the focus away from that and back to God.

Nole (22:48.803)
This has been the FireUKerry Podcast.

Nole (23:02.757)
Apologies for this being a solo episode. I would have loved to have had Kevin's voice in that topic.

I know you would have enjoyed hearing his perspective on it. As per our usual arrangement after the program, we try our best to pour ourselves back into our families and refocus because the program takes a huge amount of our focus and time. And so as part of that, we just didn't schedule a recording until it was too late and neither of us could record together. So we will be back again next week together with some more new content for you. And I know you look forward to that. So thank you.

Our nine 11 Memorial stair climb is coming up very rapidly and we do still have slots. I've mentioned it before we are doing the event inside. And so that does force us to cap the amount of climbers at a lower number than we traditionally allow, but we do still have slots. We would love to fill this thing up. So please come out and join us for that links to sign up are in the show notes and we hope to see you down there. The date for that is September 7th. It's a Sunday.

It's down in Lake Forest. Details are in the link when you go to sign up. So please do that. Please come out and join us for that. Bring your friends, bring your family, bring your kids. It's an awesome family event. Everybody that has come out to it over the past years that we have done it has found it to be just a good experience and something that is incredibly positive and becomes a highlight of their year. It certainly is that for Kevin and I. So we thank you in making time for that.

Just go sign up soon because it will stack up and fill up. And we would love to see you out there. Thank you once again for being in the audience and spending some time with the fire. You carry podcast. We'll see you next week.

Nole (25:54.839)
It's not enough. It's not enough.