Why Am I Getting the Lesson Again?

Have you ever felt like an old timeline or chapter of your life has resurfaced out of nowhere? Or, even an old person, place or situation(ship) has come back around right when you're living your best life? Have you thought, am I being tested? Is the timing finally right? Or, why is this happening again? I thought I cleared this, got the lesson, let it go? Why now? 

Well, today I get into all of this from a new perspective that leans more into choice than into circumstance that'll help you process why it's happening again. If you've been analyzing, racking your brain, praying to help figure out what it all means this is the episode for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, and welcome to the Love You Even More podcast. I'm your host, Jacqueline Brewbaker. I'm a psychotherapist, actor, and Emmy Award winner. After 20 years in the entertainment industry as an artist and entrepreneur, I've gained a unique perspective into the minds of creatives and high achievers. Because let's be honest, I am one. In my work as a therapist, I support high-achieving, big-hearted people who want to create a life that feels as good as it looks. And that's what the show is all about: a space to learn from experts in the fields of psychology, relationships, business, and the arts who have paved the way. Are you ready to love yourself even more? Let's get into it. Hey guys, and welcome to the Love You Living More podcast. I'm your host, Jacqueline Bruce Baker. And I'm doing just an impromptu little solo episode. I felt kind of compelled to uh address something that I think, you know, we just go through in life, which is basically when you have an old timeline or an old chapter of your life resurface and it kind of comes out of nowhere. And you're like, wow, this feels so old. Like I've done this before, and here it is, back in your present. And what does that mean? Like, why is this? What what when am I didn't I learn this? So I want to talk about why that happens and what to do when it happens. Because when we're living in the present, you know, we're making all of our choices from the now, from here. And those choices are reflecting into our future. So when you've made a lot of really good choices and you're on this like amazing trajectory, and let's just say you've even like reached like the end of a really big goal, and then something from your past suddenly pops up. And by the way, we're about to go into Mercury in retrograde when you hear this. So a lot of things may have already been popping up or will be popping up, but even if you don't subscribe to anything astrologically, and it might not even be a retrograde of any kind, but something or someone pops up from your past. It's easy to wonder, you know, why did I not get the lesson? Did I not learn enough? Do I, am I being tested? You know, that's a really common one, and it's really easy to fall into all of that and to like overanalyze and wonder, even romantically, oh, maybe it was timing, maybe it's the right time now, and that's why it's back, especially if it's like a romantic partner. But I'd like to challenge all of that because I've been challenging myself, because this is actually something that's been going on with me, and of course, I wanted to do an episode on it without giving many details, but just it doesn't even matter what the circumstance is. When we have something from the past come back up, and by the way, it can reflect in all different kinds of ways. It doesn't have to be as linear, as you know, perfect as, oh, my ex came back, you know, like something like that, where it's so obvious. It can look like um a relative coming back, or it can look like an old job situation in a new job situation coming back. It can basically just be mirroring something that you have been through before. And that's when we're asked as humans, what do you want to do here? What is the choice that you would like to make here? Do you want to live that old timeline again, that old chapter again? Do you think that you have more lessons to learn? Do you think that you weren't made stronger because of it the first time? Or the second or the third, um, however many times you've may have been through it. Uh do you think that you need to to re-experience this again? And also, I just want to like pause because life is not about you learn the lesson and then it never shows up again because you've learned it and that's how it works. Like, I don't know if that's not how it works, but I'm pretty damn sure life is just hard sometimes, you know. I don't know, I've been here for a while. It kind of seems like you could be doing great and you know your stuff, and then hard stuff happens out of nowhere, right? Like good things happen to bad or bad things happen to good people. Also the opposite, good things happen to bad people, which we're all like, why? Why why you? But it is not a like fair game. Life is not fair, as all of our parents have said. It just isn't. And it doesn't necessarily that's why I'd like to challenge the idea of, oh, am I not getting the lesson? Am I being tested? Because you could have passed the test of this old timeline or chapter, and it could show right back up. And all it is is an opportunity to practice what you preach, to do the lesson again smoothly, effortlessly, knowingly aware of it this time, which is very empowering. You could actually come at it from a very empowering perspective of, oh, I know what this is, I know what to do, I've got the cheat code, let me do it right this time. And then you do it right, and then it's done. And I will say that there sometimes is some weird aftermath when you do it right. If you come through a circumstance where you're like, oh my gosh, I recognize this, I know what to do, let me do the right thing, and to do the right thing, and then it's over very quickly. No drama, just over. And that in itself can be a little, a little jarred, a little, a little unnerving, like, wait, wait, is that it? That that's it. No more? Okay, it's really confusing because yeah, you did it right this time. There was no aftermath, there was no drama, it was just done. Sometimes it's not that cut and dry, but sometimes it is. And so when we're like given this opportunity to actually get the challenge again, not because we messed up or you know, we're bad people, or oh, I didn't get the lesson the first time. It's more like if you want to come at it from a spiritual perspective, like the universe is like, yeah, maybe I do want to see how you were you do it this time. Maybe I want to give you this opportunity to show up for yourself and empower yourself. And also, listen, we don't live in a vacuum, so everything we do does ripple effect onto others, especially if you're finding yourself in this old timeline with another person or people, you know, they're gonna be affected too. Um, I recently had somebody tell me um after I left a job situation very quietly too. I quietly quit. Um, I didn't actually quietly, I quit. But I um I didn't make a big deal of it. I I wasn't like, this place sucks. You know, I was very like, this is just not working for me anymore, and it's you know, done for me, so I'm going to remove myself very calmly and you know, rationally. It's just like I'd given it the try and it just wasn't working. And I was there for three years, so it wasn't like an overnight thing. But um, I left and I, you know, I I kind of said goodbye to a few people before, you know, I knew I was leaving, even a month or so before I knew I was leaving. But I had somebody tell me months later who I worked with, I met her for coffee, and she's like, Man, watching you leave the way you did with such dignity, that's how I want to leave this place when I'm ready to go. Because you didn't make any sort of drama or hoopla. And by the way, why would I? But why would anyone want to? But she's like, you left so with dignity, and I was so touched because I didn't think anybody cared. Not because people don't care, but like about me. But it was more just like, oh wow, I didn't realize that like me quietly leaving would have such an impact on someone and make her feel empowered to leave that same job one day. And maybe she does and maybe she doesn't, but there was a ripple effect. So our choices, big or small, do ripple effect on people. And sometimes when these old timelines and these old chapters come back, again, especially with people, you are sometimes the one who's teaching the lesson this time, right? It's not your lesson to learn, it's your lesson to give. And the way that you react will help the other person to possibly make better choices or think differently or see a new perspective and maybe change their lives in some way, big or small. And also, we're not here to purposefully help people change their lives, which I know sounds kind of crazy coming from a therapist, but when I'm in therapy with someone, the only person who's gonna change their life is them. I can be there to support and help guide and ask really interesting questions that get them to think, but I am not telling them what to do. That's not my job. I'm not them. I'm not living their life, they're living their life. And it's very, very important that everybody makes choices for themselves. So if you are in a circumstance where you're like, oh my God, this is such an old uh chapter, an old timeline. Why am I being tested again? Why am I having to go through this again? I've been through this so many times. Like, I don't need the lesson. Maybe it's not for you. Maybe it's the way that you show up for others, not for them, but towards them. And they get to see what it looks like to see a mature adult do the right thing and actually speak up and say the words that maybe they're scared to say. Maybe have the the coming of Jesus moment through your actions that they need to be like, yeah, fuck, I do need to be better. I you know, it's it's incredible. Something I've really noticed a lot lately is that, you know, sometimes we're just not aware of our impact. And then somebody tells us what our impact is, and we get a glimpse into like what we're giving out and what we're reflecting out and what we're teaching without even knowing it. And it's remarkable. We are always touching people's lives, we are also we are always creating ripple effects in people's lives, good and bad. And even if it is bad, or even if you do create some sort of hard ripple effect, right? I'm thinking of people who have um addiction in their lives. Um, their partner, their relative has an addiction and they don't, and they're trying to help, right? It just can feel so, so disempowering and they just want to help this person so badly. But, you know, you're taught when you're the person who's the caregiver essentially, you know, this isn't your journey, this isn't your job, and you can't enable them by helping them. They need to help themselves. And in a way, that's what tests are. If you've passed your tests, you're there to maybe like reflect and help others, not actively, that's not what I'm saying, but by example, through example, show up as the woman, as the man, as the person that you are, and be the example to somebody, especially when they are hitting some old, old triggers, some old, old stuff. I'm talking, you're hitting my daddy issues. Wow, this feels familiar. Oh my god, can I fix it this time? Yeah, I'm talking about stuff like that when it gets really hard and you're like, oh my god, I think I love him. No, you don't. He's just triggering some daddy issues, and you know it. You know it. So I just really wanted to like come on and do this quick episode because sometimes you just need a little reassurance that no, this isn't your twin flame. This isn't a karmic cycle, come back around because you didn't catch it the first time, because you didn't fix it the first time. And it is so easy to go and listen, you know how woo I am. If you listen to this podcast, you know I am woo to the nth degree, but I'm also very based in reality, and I'm based in science, and there's a lot of scientific reasons why we feel the way we do with certain people. We should do a whole episode on that. But basically, chemically, you're a different person when you're triggered. My people who remind you of your past. And by past, I mean parents. So I hope this helps anyone who's kind of going through it right now and just feeling drained and feeling and feeling like they don't understand why this has come back around. Why now? Um, is it the right time? Is the timing always off? And by the way, if the timing is always off between you and someone, there's a reason. It's not supposed to be on. You're being protected. I do, I do believe that. I really do believe you're being protected. And if anything, it's just not right. So it's not happening. And that's your answer. That's it. You can have feelings for someone, but it's like, no, they're not the right person. Because honestly, if you are if someone has come back around in your life and you're like, oh my god, my ex is back. Is he the one? He's available now. Like, you know, whatever. Yeah, perhaps if they're coming at it from a really good place, but if they're not, then no. You keep doing your path, and you have made the good choices that you have made, and you don't need to take on any bad choices from your past. Mainly, it's never good to go back about that. Alright, you guys, I hope that this episode tracked for some of you, and this was what you needed to hear. Have a wonderful, wonderful coming up week, and I will see you next week.