Finding Peace When You Feel Left Out

Loneliness can feel loud during the holidays, even when the room is full. We start with the laughter of a kids’ Christmas program and move into the deeper ache so many carry—feeling overlooked, crowded by responsibilities, and unsure how to find our way back to Jesus. The good news is simple and strong: you don’t have to clean the room before you open the door. Confession is the hinge that swings it wide.

We get practical about making space for God when life is packed. Try a five-minute daily rhythm in Scripture and prayer and watch it grow. Lead brief, honest family devotions—just a paragraph, a question, and a follow-up tomorrow. Don’t have all the answers? Model how to find them. We talk calendars and bank statements as mirrors of what we love, and we give permission to skip a practice, end a binge, or silence a notification so your soul can breathe. Community matters too: make the call, tell the truth without oversharing, and be the voice on the other end when someone else is struggling.

At the heart sits the manger—whether you picture a stable or a crowded lower room—where the Savior chose rejection so you could be welcomed. He prepares a room with your name, not down the street but in the Father’s house. Present stress and private doubts are real, but they don’t compare to the glory ahead or the presence offered now. If you need a friend today, start with Jesus and reach for a brother or sister. Then tell us how it’s going. Subscribe, share this with someone who feels alone, and leave a review to help others find their way home.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Kids’ Christmas Joy
• 3:40 Nativity Myths And Why Truth Matters
• 6:45 Nostalgia And The Heart Behind The Series
• 10:45 Holidays And The Weight Of Loneliness
• 15:25 Invitations To Connection And Church Response
• 20:10 Feeling Overlooked And Comparison Traps
• 24:00 When Jesus Feels Distant: Competing Loves
• 28:30 Confession, Grace, And Letting Jesus In
• 33:00 Priorities, Time With God, And Habits
• 38:30 Practical Family Devotions In Busy Homes
• 43:20 Community, Reaching Out, And Being A Friend
• 49:20 Rejection, Acceptance, And The Manger

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Welcome and thanks for joining us on this episode of the Midweek Podcast, brought to you by a Fresh Wind Church. Each week, our team brings you new content to help you take steps towards Jesus and discover more in Christ. Today's episode is hosted by Pastor Ryan.

SPEAKER_01: 0:27

Hey, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast. Pastor Ryan joined as always with Pastor Tim. And we are in week two of our Christmas series, I'll Be Home for Christmas. And uh, Tim, before we jump into the Christmas series, um on Sunday we had Freshwind Kids do the uh their Christmas performance for the year, and man, I just thought they did such a great job.

SPEAKER_03: 0:50

Oh, I I thought you were gonna deny that they were there and singing Christmas carols because you've been Mr. Christmas hater.

SPEAKER_01: 0:58

I've been walking around with sticks of dynamite blowing up the whole Christmas story, the whole nativity story, you know.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05

So do you think there was a camel? Sure. Just say there was a donkey.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13

Just say it. There was probably a donkey in the lower room. That would be common. Did they take a donkey from Nazareth to Bethlehem? Doubtful. I don't even know if that's doubtful. We just don't know. We don't know. We don't know. That's 50-50. Could go either way. It would make sense to travel with one. But if you're pregnant, I still don't know if you're like, you know what I'd love to do right now? Climb up on that donkey.

SPEAKER_03: 1:40

Well, I'm you know, I've I've been going through this series, and as you completely displace the nativity and everything we think about it, um I know you got your you got your sources, and it just happens to be the Bible, but I'm not buying it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:59

Yeah, you know, I'm I'm wondering, I'm I'm dropping these little nuggets in here. Um, you know, hopefully helping people learn something, teaching something new, uh, getting people interested. Like, oh, I didn't think about that. And so you put those things in there thinking, man, if I can get people to be interested, they'll go and look and read their Bibles more, and that would all be great. But they're what I'm probably doing is losing everyone for the rest of the sermon.

SPEAKER_03: 2:24

Next year he'll be saying, There was no lights on Christmas. Get those lights off your house.

SPEAKER_01: 2:29

We'll come back. Christmas 2026. It's uh yeah, there's some interesting stuff in there. But for real, thought the kids did just a fantastic job um coming and singing, and I thought they brought a lot of joy to the church on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03: 2:46

It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun seeing them all up there and stretched uh all the way across the stage, and uh just so many kids and parents excited to be there and and uh grandparents. It was a great time. We had a great time.

SPEAKER_01: 3:00

Yeah, we built those uh had Don out in the barn last year building those risers, and we got to the that meeting right before um the Christmas program, and we walked back there, and I'm like, we're not gonna fit on these risers. Oh no, what what do we do? Um, so we had to rearrange the stage a little bit, get them all up there, spread them out, and yeah, there had to be at least uh probably close to three times the amount of kids up there this year as compared to last year.

SPEAKER_03: 3:30

So and it was great that we sent them back to class before you you know destroyed our traditional Christmas for us.

SPEAKER_01: 3:36

So that was good too. I I tell people all the time listen, we have kids' ministry for a reason. Get your kids out of this room.

SPEAKER_03: 3:46

I think um what let me say this that the nativity is a montage of everything that happened, okay? It's not what happened. Okay, so let's just everybody relax.

SPEAKER_01: 4:03

And I'm not telling anyone to take their nativities down. You know, don't go home and you know, Dave, he built uh he built that nativity for me for my house. You you can leave your nativities up in the yard, you can leave them on the mantle or or on your entry table. It's all fine. It it's it's good. Might not happen that way, but it's good.

SPEAKER_03: 4:27

Sometimes, you know, I've told you your whole career, and just there's some things you just want to leave alone. And you're like, not Christmas.

SPEAKER_01: 4:35

Not Christmas, no. There wasn't a donkey. No, we tell our team here at the church all the time, everything you say needs to be true. Not everything true needs to be said. And here I go trouncing all over that.

SPEAKER_02: 4:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 4:48

So jumping back in, uh, week two, I'll be home for Christmas. Um, I told you before we started here, you know, I've I've been feeling real nostalgic this year. We had our um our staff Christmas party uh last week, and Joy and I were over at uh Sam's Club picking some stuff up for the party, and we walked past past this Christmas sweater, and it said Joy on it, which is perfect. My wife is Joy, and I'm like, babe, you need this. And I was like, honestly, it kind of reminds me of my grandma Lynn. You have to buy it. I'm sitting there thinking, what is wrong with me? Yeah. Here, babe, you know what I'd love for you to do? I'd love for you to buy this shirt that reminds me of my grandma. She did buy it though. And she was romantic. It's romantic. Made me very proud. Um, and so we got the new Christmas sweater. But I've I've been in this weird, weird season this year for Christmas where I've just felt way more nostalgic, I guess. Um, and so that's that was kind of the whole genesis of the I'll be home for Christmas idea. But um man, it's uh apart from me blowing up Christmas week by week, it's been uh it's been neat to kind of talk about some of these themes about just the Lord inviting us back home.

SPEAKER_03: 6:05

Yeah, I I I think we forget about uh who he is because I think it's a tendency for our whole culture to get in our little echo chambers. Um we do that in our minds, uh not just online, but we you know, my family thinks this about me, or or I don't fit into my wife's family, or they never talk to me, or um, all those things. And uh one thing one thing I've learned um in my life is if no one will talk to you, do all the talking. And that's it's been good for me. I I mean you can make a switch on that right there, and just don't let anybody speak and you take over the conversations. But um that doesn't work for everybody. I want you to uh um think about this. The holidays are s for some people are the most lonely times of year, and that's because um all the water that's under the bridge, and uh you don't think you can reconnect to the people that you love, and I know you love them, you just can't stand them. And uh that's you know, that's part of being in a family, and w we have a culture now that uh wants to put up boundaries, and you know, I can't stand for that, and this, that, and the other thing. And uh but instead of doing that to the culture, we do it to our families. We always gotta make room uh for our family. And I and that's what the Lord uh what you were talking about, making room uh for the Lord in you, not just your your family. If you don't want to be alone, you know, you need Jesus and you'll never never be left alone. But it is a it is a lonely time of the year. I I was talking to my dad uh years ago, and he said, Yeah, I I got off the boat in San Francisco after the war and there was um he said millions of people everywhere and I was so alone so alone. You know, coming out of the Navy, uh brothers fighting with each other, and then okay, it's over, go on. And he said, I was standing there, and I never felt so alone. And so um there's that happening all around us, all around us. Keep your eyes open for those people who are feeling alone and don't let them be alone.

SPEAKER_01: 8:31

Have a great opportunity, yeah, uh, around Christmas to to jump into those situations. Um because if you're feeling lonely, here's what I can guarantee someone else is feeling alone just like you. Um and if you two got together, you wouldn't be alone anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 8:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:49

Um and so I am uh I'm encouraged by what God is doing in this series. Um and and I, you know, just two weeks in, um it's been it's been really cool to see how how people have responded to to the message each week. Um and so we're we're encouraging you uh be a part of this. Um and it's uh life is one of those things where it does, it gets overcrowded and you feel left out. I shared that story about um you know my cousin Megan and and I love Meg. I was I she was walking out on Sunday, I was like, hey, thanks for letting me talk about y'all all sermon long. But uh Meg was awesome, you know, and I got to grow up and and I did, but I I felt growing up, man, she gets to be with all the cool groups, all the cool people doing all the cool things, and I felt like I was always on the outside of that. Um and I, you know, I didn't live a terrible life, and I had parents that loved me and all that stuff, but I just never felt like I could connect with those groups of people, and it's who I thought I wanted to connect with, you know?

SPEAKER_03: 9:57

Yeah, and that's that's one of the things that you really need to look at in your own life is is what you're seeing over there really what you're desiring? Um, because it might be completely different than what you think it is. It might be worse. I mean, we made movie after movie after movie about you know the unpopular kid becoming popular and and what that cost him. Right. And uh so we need to be very careful about what we're looking at because as uh Carol Burnett, you probably don't know who that is. Very familiar. Yeah, she was a uh comedian uh from ages past, but she she wrote a book called uh The Grass is always greener around the septic tank. Well, that that is certainly true. So uh we need to be careful when we're uh comparing our lives to others, um, that uh there's someone in your life right now that you're overlooking while you're thinking I'm being overlooked. And uh we need to uh we need to recognize those things. Given a little bit of yourself, uh you'll reap what you sow.

SPEAKER_01: 11:14

That's right. I think for a lot of us, you know, some of the the loneliness we we feel, especially around Christmas, we don't feel seen. We do, we show up at the Christmas parties, the family parties, and and you feel left out, you feel you know, on the side of whatever. Um and then just in our own life sometimes I feel like we're just like I I don't feel at peace, I don't feel at home here. Um and I think we just get so busy, man, with with responsibilities, with expectations, with noise, this pressure to perform. And and before long we look up and you know I I've talked to so many people over the years that I mean I just don't feel uh close to Jesus anymore. I don't feel like I'm growing in my faith anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 12:02

Um I don't think uh people intentionally want to push Jesus out. But here, let me be the old pastor and uh push into this a little bit because this is important. Um if you feel like Jesus has fallen out of your life, you don't feel like you're as close as him anymore. A lot of times we don't invite him in because you know something inside uh is not gonna align itself with Jesus. So we get this idea that I don't want to invite him into my life um because I got this other thing going that he won't approve of. So I I want to make sure that you guys get that. It's just not I forgot about him. It's like he's not compatible with the way I've started to live. And and and by saying, you know, I'm not gonna let him into my life because I'm gonna do this, it's it's like you know, you're you're drinking and the pastor's coming over, so you throw the booze in the garbage. That's all you gotta do. You're gonna invite Jesus in, just throw the booze in the garbage. Whatever it is that you're um you're worried about him not relating to you, let me tell you something. Jesus relates. I he's been watching us for since we got started, since Adam and Eve, and he knows what's going on in our hearts and minds, and he's like, I still want to come over. I still want to come over. Let me in.

SPEAKER_01: 13:33

I think you're on to something. And Jesus said it. I I quoted it um in my my sermon on Sunday when when we were talking about this. You you can't serve two masters, right? And Jesus said it this way, he says, because here's why you'll grow to love one and hate the other. And so you have those things, you're like, Man, I it's not like I'm trying to push Jesus out, I just have this thing. But you'll grow to resent Jesus because he's incompatible, right?

SPEAKER_03: 14:02

And it's pressure, right?

SPEAKER_01: 14:04

And so to open the door and let him in means I'm I might have to lay this thing down, or I'm not gonna get to to to do it as often as I want, whatever it is. Um, and so you'll grow to resent, oh man. I know I'm supposed to be at church, but the Browns are playing in London today, right? And and you'll grow to resent it. He he requires too much of me. And and he says, You you will love that thing, but your love for it will cause you to hate the other thing. And you know, in that scripture, you know, he ends up saying you can't learn serve both God and money, but you could replace money with a lot of things there. Um for a lot of us it's money, some of us it's power, for some of us it's greed or pride. For some of us, it's our anger, our unforgiveness, our bitterness. You know, it it feels good. You know, we just got done with that whole series talking about malice and slander, those things feel good. They do. He says, You'll you'll grow to love that, but you know I don't want that in your life. Right. I I've actually told you you need to rip those things out, and so you'll end up hating me because of it. But then the reverse of that is he says, Man, if you if you will pursue me, well then I will give you the desires of your heart.

SPEAKER_03: 15:21

I'll replace those with things that you love even more. Right if you'll if you'll let me. Jesus didn't say this on accident. He said, if you want to follow me, deny yourself, pick up your cross, and let's go. So deny yourself means I'm gonna deny what I want over Jesus, I'm gonna invite him in. And pick up your cross is picking up the fact that you want this other thing really bad, and it's gonna be a battle, and you're gonna have to carry it as you follow him. But as you follow him, it'll get easier and easier and easier to deny that and say yes to him. And I um you know, confession is so important in a Christian life, and if there's something keeping Jesus out, you just need to confess it and and then to say, Lord, because as soon as you do, as soon as you agree with him that that's the wrong thing, he starts training you to want to please him. And uh that's the first step is to confess it. Confess it. Confess it. Confess it. And uh and then let the Lord in. And and as many times as it takes, the Lord is gonna lead you out of that. He wants to. He wants to be part of your life, even though that other thing is incompatible with him. He still says, I can help you let that go. Right. And give you joy and peace instead of this pressure that or this this angst that we have against each other. I don't have that. You have it, you feel it from me because you're just feeling your own angst. But I don't have that. All you gotta do is lay it down and let's go. I'm not gonna be bitter, I'm not gonna make you pay, I'm not gonna do any of that. I just want you to lay it down and follow me.

SPEAKER_01: 17:17

That's so good. We think, yeah, I I gotta get all this cleaned up, I gotta, you know, straighten myself up. Because God's mad at me. Right. And that's the tension that you're you're saying. We all feel. And he's like, I'm not holding that stuff against you. You know, we we want to live lives pleasing to the Lord. We do. I think if you're a follower of Jesus, you want to live a life that's pleasing to the Lord. You got these hangups, you got these things, you got your temptations and proclivities and all this stuff, but we want. We want to live a life pleasing. Well, listen, God wants you to live a life pleasing to the Lord more than you want to live a life pleasing to the Lord. Amen. He's not trying to hold these things against you until you straighten up, you know. That's not who he is. You know, on Sunday in the sermon, I was like, God's not looking for a perfectly clean room. You know, he's not waiting for you to get your life together, get the house in order. He's just saying, open up the door.

SPEAKER_03: 18:13

His side of the relationship is completely pure, completely loving, completely encouraging, completely affirming. You're just putting that up against him because that's the way you feel against him. And all those uh angst are um things we deal with in the Christian life every day. This is nothing new. This is what we do. Lord, I love this more than you. And the Lord says, Well, let's fix that. And we're like, Well, not right now. Let's wait a little bit, you know. Let me enjoy it to where and you know, God can say to you, uh, well, you can go, you can take it, you can do it until you hate it, but I'll be here. I haven't changed the way I love you. I haven't changed the way I feel about you. I'm just outside and I want to come in. You know, you seem lonely in that. Now, we talked about that for a few minutes, and that's good, because we need to talk about that, because that's where I'd say 60 of the people 60% of the people are. But there is 40% of Christians out there right now who's let life take over their life, and they don't have room for Jesus because they didn't put the boundary up and said he's most important. It's more of a priority thing than a values thing. Values, I value this more than Jesus. Now we got this angst, but priority is no, he's he, I love Jesus. He's in my life. I, you know, this is what I want. But these other things have dropped him down to three or four or five when he should be number one. And um that's where you find out you don't have enough time to read his. Word. You don't have enough time. Now we tell you all the time, and my wife complains about this all the time, Ryan. So I just want you to know that we say, just spend five minutes with him. The reason we want you to spend five minutes with him is because we trust him to reach out and pull you in. That's what we're trying to get you to do. Get in his word. You know, find out what he says, what he's saying to you. You know, we want you to do that because we know that one day, if you do this on a consistent basis basis, you're going to say, What does he mean by that? And you're going to open up uh the Bible and cross-reference and start digging down to figure that out what it is. And that's what we're praying for the Holy Spirit to do with you. The truth is, um, you need to invest your life in Jesus, in his word, studying his word, learning new things. And um, I mean, all the way to the point where you can defend your faith, that's where you need to go. Um, we just want you to get started because we know he's gonna lead you in that in that direction. And uh, but when we get busy and there just doesn't seem enough time, you know, you started, oh man, I'm busy. I'm well, if I'm gonna do my devotion, I'm gonna have to get up 20 minutes earlier, and you're doing that, and then suddenly you're like, Well, I need to really check my um stocks before it opens up at nine, so I'm gonna I'm gonna do that. So that means if I'm gonna do my devotion, I'm gonna have to get up another 20 minutes earlier. And pretty soon you're looking at, okay, I get up at 4 30. And uh so it's important that we uh get our priorities straight. Whether you're going to spend time with Jesus in the in the morning or the evening or on your lunch break, whatever it is, it needs to be consistent and it needs to be all the time. If you did not do that with your wife, she probably wouldn't be your wife anymore. You know, hey, I'm gonna give you five minutes at 4 30. And then I I got stuff to do.

SPEAKER_01: 22:06

Yeah, on the car ride to work, that's all you get all day. You know, I'll do a little audio version and then I'm done for the day. Right. Yeah. As you our our desire, man, if if you'd spend an hour or two or three with the Lord every day, golly, as you're pastors, we would love that for you. Yeah, we love it. I understand that's a that's a big ask in the beginning. And and those of you who have have done that, you've you've grown to love the Lord that way, you can testify that you have tasted it and seen the Lord, and He is good. It is good. I mean, David, the psalmist, he said, as the deer pants for water, I long for you. Right. And here's Jeremiah said, I want to eat eat this book. Yeah. And what Pastor Tim's saying is so true. We're confident that if you'll start with five minutes, and man, it'd be great if it was 15. It'd be great if it was 30, but if you'd start with five, here's what I know his word never returns void. It is faithful to produce fruit in due season. It's going to happen. If you'll just show up for five minutes every day, then you'll start all of a sudden you're gonna you're gonna learn to love this thing and and you're gonna crave it. Hey, Davis, man, it's sweeter than honey. Yeah, there's nothing else like it in the world. And all of a sudden, five minutes ain't gonna be enough. And you're gonna be like, man, if I have to get up at 4:30 to do this, shoot uh easy, easy trade-off. Yeah, absolutely. I'll do it. You'll want it that much.

SPEAKER_03: 23:43

And pretty soon your Netflix binge night will be uh right now media binge night. And uh you'll see the Lord start working in your life, and you're like, oh no, I, you know, I don't want to be that religious freak. No, you're not being a religious freak. You're having a relationship with somebody, and you're getting to know them. And back when you were dating your wife or you were dating your husband, you wanted to be with him all the time. And that's that's what the kind of relationship the Lord is looking for with us. So we don't have to be alone. Uh, it's about your values. Number one, 60% of you got something that don't align with Jesus and it embarrasses you, and he th you think he's mad at you, but you're mad at yourself, is what's going on. And 40% of you is uh, I gotta get my kids to soccer. I can't let them down. And um, so that's taken up all my time. It's taking up all your time? No, come on. Right. We can we can think better than that. And just take Jesus from number five and slap him up on top again and say, I want to make a priority, you're out there. It doesn't have to be this big uh I I was gonna say come to Jesus moment, but it is a come to Jesus moment. Quite literally. It is, it is, I I just I got my priorities messed up, and it happens to everybody, you know, when you're getting ready to go backpacking, you know, it starts a month before, you know. There's backpackers who got their stuff down to a um to exactly what they they take, and this is who they are when they backpack and they go out to see the country. But that's only like 20% of backpackers. The other 80% are like, oh, I want to take this and I want to take that, and it's all about the stuff and getting ready. And um we get into those ideas that uh we're getting ready, we're getting ready, and then you know, the trip seems to be really less important than the getting ready. And I think that's what we do with life. I want my kids to get ready, we're getting ready, we're getting, we're gonna, we're getting ready, we're getting ready, and then you go on the vacation and then it's over, and you're like, we need to be getting ready for something else. And when you do that, you you focus on that thing and you start to lose uh your presence of mind in the present. No, my priorities can't change for this thing I'm really excited about. I gotta keep my priorities and be excited about that thing at the same time. Right. Does that make any sense? Did I make any sense when I said that?

SPEAKER_01: 26:23

I gotcha. And I I know as you as you start to think through this, um, you know, you talked about you know not being able to fit it in. And I know that's a common excuse. I just don't know when to fit it in. And then I read that stat on Sunday. You know, the average American spends five hours a day, over five hours a day on their smartphone. Well, just take a little bit of that time and and give it to the Lord, you know, and spend it in his word. And in prayer. And in prayer. You know, we have the time. It's just putting it, like you're saying, in the right priority. I I gotta put this at top at the top. And we do it already. You're already doing this with your doctor's appointments. You're already doing this with with your work meetings, you're putting it on the calendar. Put it on the calendar. The things I I tell people all the time, you want to know what's really important to you. Look at your calendar and your checkbook or your online banking app, I guess. Most people probably don't care on a checkbook anymore. But you look at your your calendar and your bank account, and you'll find out what's a priority to me. And all of a sudden it's it is. It's, oh man, look, my calendar is full of my kids' sports schedules and all the stuff, and my bank account, it's all those, you know, different subscriptions that we have, and you know, feeding our kids to and from all these games. I gave people on permission, like just take a day off.

SPEAKER_03: 27:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 27:44

Just take a day off. And yeah, that means your kid doesn't go to practice tonight. They're gonna be fine. And the coach isn't gonna understand, and maybe he doesn't start them in that game. Whatever. You know, it sports is and I this is a guy who played sports all through middle school and high school. I love sports, watch sports, watch the Browns. Just oh my gosh, it was so embarrassing Sunday. It was like the first quarter, it's like, we know that game's over. But I watched it all the way to the end. That's who I am. I love sports. The reality is unless your kids like uber special, and that's the problem, all of us think our kids are uber special.

SPEAKER_02: 28:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 28:24

But the truth is, it'd be great if they were a great athlete. It's more important if they're a better person and that they love Jesus. And so let's prioritize it. We got to show them that. And and I'll tell you this, I know in seasons of life it looks different. You know, when your kids are grown and out of the house and you're retired, it's you can get up in the morning and you can spend two, three hours a day in God's word, and that's awesome. When your kids are little and they're at home and they have all this stuff going on, you're like, when do I fit it in? For me, honestly, one of the sweetest moments of my day is every night before we go to bed, we open up God's word. We were in, I think what did I tell you last time? First Peter, I think we were talking about. Right now we're in the book of John, and I just start John chapter one, and I read a paragraph or two. You know, your Bible has headings. If you can finish a full section heading, that's great. But sometimes I'm like, we don't even have time for that. So we're getting a paragraph in. And then I just ask my kids, what stuck out to you here? What do you guys think about that? And then you get to talk to, well, what did he mean when he said this? Oh, well, this is what's going on in that situation. And I get to have those few minutes right before we go to bed. And we have had just some absolutely amazing devotional times with our kids. And then we're not reading any extra books. I'm not pulling out any commentaries, we're just talking about it. And you're like, well, you're a pastor, you can ask, you know, answer your kids' questions. Uh, what if I can't do that? And I don't know the answer. That's okay.

SPEAKER_03: 29:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 29:54

Tell them, hey, I don't know. That's great. And then spend some of that five hours a day you're on your phone doing some research. Hey, what does it mean in John chapter one when it says, in the beginning was the word and the word was with God? What is this all about? And then you've you're on your phone, you're doing it anyways. We're just redirecting it. And then you go back to your kid and say, hey, this is what that meant. And now you've modeled for them what it looks like to approach God's word, to have questions and not know, and then to go and do some study. You've now modeled that for your kids. You don't have to have all the answers. Just do the research. Tell them you don't know. Do the research and come back and say, hey, this is what I found out. I told my kids the other day we were studying. Um, I can't remember if it was in 1 Peter, John, but it was a pretty tough passage. And I said, here's what I want you all to do. I want I want each of you to tell me what you think this passage means tomorrow. So I want you to do a little bit of research, and I want you to look some stuff up, and then I want you to tell me what you think it means. And we get to talk through that. Great opportunities, and it's it's not three hours long, it's 15 minutes.

SPEAKER_03: 31:04

And when you're thinking like that, that's too much. You're forgetting that um this is about having a relationship with Jesus. He's gonna be completely involved in all of that. Matter of fact, Paul says that it's the Holy Spirit that teaches you the deep things of God, not your mommy and daddy, and not your pastor. You know, that the Holy Spirit is gonna teach you that, and he wants to. And by opening the word of God, you're just inviting him into the room. And that's what we're talking about, not being alone. Now, it's it's tough um when you're alone and you are being overlooked. And uh you feel you you get into that little pity thing, God, what can you do for me here? Well, let me tell you what he can do for you here. He said, Well, you got brothers and sisters, uh billion of them all over the world. Um, and I guarantee you that some of them are prime probably praying for you, saying, Lord, if there's anybody who feels alone, you know, let them find somebody. So God is looking to answer your prayer in your angst, He He's He's looking for you to be affirmed. So there's a brother and sister out there, call somebody in the church. Call somebody and say, I'm feeling alone. And uh, well, let's go get coffee. And you're like, Well, you know, that's not gonna scratch my itch. I need someone to listen to my complaints and let me rant to and so forth and so on. Well, we just talked about that. Nobody's got time for that, you know, but they got time to be a friend, got time to come see ya. And uh one thing that I learned uh way back in college, I worked for uh Thomas Road Baptist Church and their oh now I can't remember the name of their TV show, but I worked the Suicide Hotline in college and people would call and um we had a um counselor on staff, and but we had this thing to walk through with them and depending on a decision tree type thing, and if they were really struggling, then they would step in. And uh so it wasn't like, oh, here's a 17-year-old kid, you know. Most of those people who called just wanted there's someone on the other end of that line, and I need to talk to somebody.

unknown: 33:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 33:27

And I'd talk to them, and sometimes, and our counselor said, if they want to talk all night, talk all night. You don't have to take a bunch of calls. There's not a quota here. If somebody calls and they need to hear another voice, you be that voice. And we'd pray with them and encourage them. And that's what we need to be to our brothers and sisters who are struggling, especially during the holidays when things seems to I isolate you. You know, there's so much to keep up with who's getting presents and how much they cost, and I don't want to go to that party because everybody's gonna buy everybody a two hundred dollar gift and I got twenty bucks for everybody. Um there's someone that you know that you can call. And uh just give them a call. And um and I know it's like, well, that's the point. You know, I I try to talk to these people or whatever, and they you know, they don't want to hear from me. They don't know you're having a problem. They don't know that you need some help. There's people in your life, even if it's not the church, that want to help you. And you're like, Well, I don't want to talk to them. There you go. Here we go. Don't build those fences. Uh, because God has Jesus is saying, Hey, I'm I'm here with you. Uh let's get some other people to come over. And uh we'll we'll share together where two or three are gathered together, he's in in their midst. So don't be don't isolate yourself. This world is about isolation. Uh the internet isolates people, video games isolate people, um, where you don't have to deal with people. And if you get to the point where people are too heavy for you, then you're always going to feel alone. But God can uh navigate that stuff for you, and um, you'll figure out some things about yourself and about other people that'll fill you with joy. You know, it doesn't have to be this way, it might not be the way you think it should be, like you in high school popular and have these friends and go to these parties. It might not be that way, but it'll have joy and it'll have peace.

SPEAKER_01: 35:34

That's right. I talked to uh a guy just this past week who's just really been going through some stuff and and he called. And man at one, I was so glad he called because there's a lot of guys who would let their pride keep them from that. Yeah. Um, and and I think as men we we wrestle with that. Um man, how how am I gonna call? How am I gonna bring this up? They're gonna think this about me. Um so one, I was glad he called me. And and he's like, Man, if I just he he just came out. I I feel alone. If I had someone just give me a pat on the back and say it's gonna be okay. And I was like, hey, it's gonna be okay. I can promise you it's gonna be all right. And I'm gonna be here and I'm gonna walk through this season with you. Um and you know, he's he's trying wrestling with some stuff, and I was like, man, here's what I want you to know. You're not the only person in this, you know, and that's that's one of the benefits to to talking with people and sharing with people. Um, and I'm not saying to unload every deep dark secret to to the next person you see, you know, um, just vomit all over them.

SPEAKER_03: 36:40

Hey, a lot of times that's what you think will fix you, but that's there that comes with a lot of regrets. So let me warn you on that. Um just try to be a friend because you need a friend. Yeah, and then one day you might have a friend that you can you can do that to. But the Lord is your um dump.

SPEAKER_01: 37:01

Yeah, so don't you know we we do that whole vomit mouth thing, and we just here's everything I've ever done. We confess it all, blah. Yeah, and we think I'm gonna feel better, and then we leave like, oh no, what have I done?

SPEAKER_02: 37:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 37:15

So I'm not saying to get into a situation like that. Um, but man, you you you tell people, man, I I've been wrestling with this thing. We are recording this podcast. It's 1221 Pest Tim. We need you to pray for the church.

SPEAKER_03: 37:27

Let's do it. Father, we want to lift up our church as we go into this uh dual service thing, Lord. We have no idea what's gonna happen, but we know that you love these people and you've prepared us to receive more. And Lord, we want to make room for them, just like we're talking about today, making room for you in our lives. And I I pray that we'll not only do that with you, but we'll do it with this church. Lord, I pray that you'll put everybody in the same mindset. We need room for more. And Lord, I pray that this church will serve you in that way in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_01: 38:04

Man, this alarm has been awesome because there's been so many times I've been on the phone with people in the church, and that alarm goes off. I'm like, hey, we gotta stop. You need to pray. And so I've I've had a lot of people praying. I've caught a lot of people that didn't have their alarm set too. Yeah, they were like, oh man, this is not good. I'm on the phone with the pastor. My alarm wasn't set. Don't invite Ryan into your life for round 1221. Yeah, no, you want to call after that. Um, but man, it you you get those opportunities. You you call somebody and you'll find out, man, I'm not the only one dealing with this. I'm not the only one who's who's experiencing this or been through something like this before. Solomon said there's nothing new under the sun. And I think the one of the greatest lies the enemy tells us is man, you're the only one. You're the only one.

SPEAKER_03: 38:50

I think I think that's our culture. How are you doing? Good. And you see, you no, no, especially if you're gonna invite someone. You know, we tell you all the time, uh, don't try to clean yourself up to invite Jesus in. Let invite him in and let him help you clean it up. You just preach that. Yep. And uh, when you're inviting other people into your life, it's the same way. You don't have to clean up for them. But when they say how you're doing, you just need to tell the truth. Say, you know what, I'm kind of sad. And uh, well, what's going on? And don't dump everything true, everything you say must be true.

SPEAKER_01: 39:28

Not everything true must be said.

SPEAKER_03: 39:31

I'm feeling kind of lone. And uh, oh well, I'm so glad to be here with you, you know. Actually, I feel like I'm outside of the festivities this year myself. I've had to work and my kids, you know, put up the decorations without me, and and you know, and my job has just been so demanding this year that we haven't gone sledding, we haven't done anything that we normally do, and I feel like I'm out in the snow and my Families having a family, and I'm not part of it anymore. You never know what you're gonna run into. And you might be end up with the person who's doing the encouraging instead of them encouraging you. But if you don't reach out, you'll never know.

unknown: 40:14

That's right.

SPEAKER_01: 40:15

What an amazing gift God has given us in his church, man. There is people here, like Pastor Tim Sain, who are gonna be there. Um for man, as long as I can remember, you've called us as a church a tribe, you know, a family of families. And when stuff comes up when you're going through something, there's people here to come alongside and and to encourage you to pray with you. But even beyond that, man, Jesus said, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. So even on those those days, those long nights when it it feels lonely and you're not sure who to call. Um, I think was that casting crowns? Not a big fan of their music, but they did have a song, I think, called Cry Out to Jesus.

SPEAKER_03: 40:57

Um I love that guy's voice. I'm not a big music guy, so I don't listen to a lot of it, but I he's got a weird voice. I like weird.

SPEAKER_01: 41:05

It is. It's a little different than everybody else. Um, but man, you can you can cry out to Jesus in those moments. God is not afraid of your mess. You know, he's uh I I actually I love this in John chapter one. John wrote this. He says, He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. That's the kind of guy he came here, even though we weren't asking. I Paul goes on to say, Man, is it Paul or Luke? Might be in the book of Acts, actually. So that'd be Luke writing it. Um, but how we we weren't asking for him, you know, he came at just the right time, scripture says, when when we weren't even asking for a savior, that's when Jesus said, All right, now I'm gonna come. And I think if we were God, we're like, no, I want them to know that they're in a mess and they need me. And when they finally look up and say, God, I've just screwed it up. Will you come say, then I'll save them? And God's like, no, I'm not waiting for that. They're not even asking for me. They they are in active rebellion against me. And he says, Now I'm gonna come. Now's the right time to send my son.

SPEAKER_03: 42:09

And you know what? Jesus was rejected so you could be accepted. That's right. And that's a cool pastor phrase. Just if you didn't catch that.

SPEAKER_01: 42:18

He was rejected on Sunday.

SPEAKER_03: 42:21

But I'll give you credit for you, beat me to quoted by Pastor Tibbs. Quoted by Ryan. We need to, we need to be um understand that that's what happened. We were talking before this. If big if, capital I, capital F, if Ryan is right, and there was no donkey, and there was no barn, and there was no, if he's right, that's big if. Don't don't quote, don't wrap me into his type criticism. It's very rarely wrong.

SPEAKER_01: 42:56

I tell my wife that all the time. You think I've just picked a random Tuesday to be wrong for the first time? That doesn't go well, gentlemen, by the way.

SPEAKER_03: 43:05

So if if he's correct, and this was Joseph's family's house, and the whole family was upstairs because Joseph shows up with a pregnant woman that he's not married to, and this whole thing is off the rails, and they said, Why don't you sleep downstairs? There's no room for you up here. That is Jesus the rejected so we could be accepted. So think about that for a minute. Although he was in a barn with a manger and a donkey before we get too far off the rails there. He he started his life rejected, rejected um by their social network, by his family. He was rejected. Yeah. And he said, This is what my life is gonna be. I'm gonna come uh for you so that you could be accepted in me. And now the scripture says we are born of God, we are adopted into his family with all rights, the same last name. We are we are his. We're not going there again.

SPEAKER_01: 44:48

No, I'm not going there again, I promise. All right. However, you want to picture it, you could picture it. We've heard it so many times that we just assume that this is the way it had to be. God didn't have to bring his son into the world this way.

unknown: 44:59

No.

SPEAKER_01: 45:00

He could have chosen a palace, he could have chosen the kings of or the pharaohs of Egypt. I mean, he could have done whatever he wanted with the with all the wealth and and everything. He's God. And yet he chose this, the most humble method, whether it was in a barn or in the basement of someone's house, the savior of the world, laid in a manger, meant to feed animals. He chose this. And and I read the scripture on Sunday. He he chooses the things that the world considers to be foolish or weak so that he can shame the wise and prove how strong he is. That's he's he's been doing it from the very beginning. He takes the things that everyone else counts out and he says, watch what I can do here. And when he does it, here's here's why. Because then he gets all the glory. You can't stand back and be like, Well, he did it because he came from a place of privilege. He was born in a barn. I'll I'll give it to you. You know, and no, this he he has been doing all of this. So, like you said, if we we can have a seat at his table. How amazing that that that's the kind of God we serve. He says, I've done all this so that I can make room for you.

SPEAKER_03: 46:18

And what would change today in your life if you're listening to this podcast if you made room for him? Not someday, but today. If you just said, God, I'm gonna get home from work right now and I'm gonna I'm gonna give you five minutes. Even if I have to go in the bathroom to get it, I'm gonna go and give you five minutes because I need a friend. I need a friend that's made a place for me. And I think we forget about the fact that Jesus He says to his disciples, and he says to us, He said, I'm I'm gonna go and make a place for you. That's right. Uh my father's house has many rooms. You're not gonna be in your own mansion down the street. We're gonna be together. And I'm I'm preparing a room for you.

SPEAKER_01: 47:13

I got a Catalymo with your name on it. There you go. Not not gonna be stuck in the basement no more.

SPEAKER_03: 47:18

Right. You get it. You're gonna come home. Right. You're gonna come home one day and you're gonna see what I've done for you. And um when the world says there's no room for you, you don't belong here, uh, you're not part of us, whether it's the world talking about your family, talking about um your friends, or if you just feel alone. It might even be at work. When the world says there's no room, God says, I've got room. Come on home.

SPEAKER_01: 47:52

Yeah. I man, I love how Paul said it. He says, I I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that's going to be revealed in us. It's it's easy to get caught up in this present day and our present mess and the chaos and the busyness of life, just the mundane. Um and Paul says, Man, I look at all this and I'm like, it ain't even worth comparing what God has prepared for. I mean, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind could even conceive scripture says what God has prepared. Paul's, I don't even what are we sitting here even comparing it for? There's there's nothing else like it. And yeah, this is tough. And God says, You know what? Even in those tough moments, I'm not gonna leave you. I'm never gonna forsake you. I'm gonna be right there. I've given you my church to come alongside you and and build you up and support you and encourage you. And I'm preparing a place. I have already gone ahead to prepare a place for you so that where I am, you can be forever. That's the kind of God I am. And so this Christmas, we're saying, come on home. Come on. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03: 49:02

Father, I want to thank you for this whole series, come home. I think we get so busy or we get wrapped up in something we know that you don't approve of, that we forget that we got a father who loves us no matter what's going on. A father that though he don't condone our actions, he accepts us just the way we are. And Lord, I pray that this Christmas, even though Ryan's trying to mess up her nativity, that we'll lean in to the gift you gave us in Jesus, that we'll lean in and choose to have a relationship so that he can bless us, that he can give us joy, and we can live with peace. In Jesus' name.

unknown: 50:02

Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 50:03

Thanks again for joining us for this episode of the Midweek Podcast. We'd love to hear from you. Let us know how God is using this resource in your life or send any podcast questions or topic ideas to podcast at a freshwind.org. If you would like to support this ministry financially and help us continue offering new resources that equip you to discover more in Christ, simply text any amount to the number 84321. We're so grateful for your support. Make sure to tune in next week for a brand new episode of the Midweek Podcast. Be blessed and have a great week.