Set The Standard

6 Steps to Become Magnetic Without Trying #268

• Corey Boutwell • Season 1 • Episode 268

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Feel like you’re pushing for everything and still getting ignored?

Like no one feels you anymore no matter how hard you try

In this video, I break down the 6 exact steps to become magnetic without faking confidence, overexplaining, or leaking energy
This is how you go from invisible and burned out to respected, desired, and undeniable in business, dating, and life

Here’s what you’ll learn
• Why people stop respecting you even when you try harder
• How to reset your nervous system and stop repelling success
• Why attention is NOT the same as attraction and how to flip it
• The 6-step magnetic blueprint that builds trust, status, and energy
• How presence, values, and boundaries create real masculine influence

👥 Join the free men’s community
https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about

🎯 Take the 7-Day Magnetism Challenge or quiz
https://8eltyrvzums.typeform.com/to/n777WygR

If you’re done chasing clients girls and respect
This is your roadmap to becoming the guy who attracts it all without forcing it

Big love
Corey

Apply here https://www.coreyboutwell.net/speaksoon

Join Our Community: https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about

FREE Mindset Webinar: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/dydp

Make sure you listen to the podcasts all the way through to get your discount code.

Speaker 1:

Here are six steps that you can use to become the most magnetic person in the room, and I have adopted these foundations and frameworks that I'm going to teach you in order to apply them, to be able to run retreats, get connected really well and interview some of the best podcast guests in the world and, most importantly, find freedom and fulfillment inside my body and my nervous system so that anytime I go anywhere socially, I just meet the most amazing people and it helps expand my network. It helps me out in business so much more. I've had opportunities where, personally, I've just gone to a bathhouse and I made 20 grand just from meeting the right person in the right place at the right time, whilst having the right energy. So I want to teach you guys some of the skills that I use, and these are the six steps to become magnetic. So if you like this video or you like the channel and you're having a good time out here, please hit that like or subscribe. I would greatly appreciate that.

Speaker 1:

So number one is doing a magnetic audit. This is the first step. So this is essentially where you just want to know where you're leaking power, also known as leaking energy. So when you start thinking to yourself in regards to fear, in regards to stress, in regards to where you need to get outside your comfort zone and where there is energy that has been leaking in regards to clients, friends, people, family, whatever it may be. And the energy leaking is basically where you don't have firm boundaries or there's conversations that you need to clear up, that you haven't cleared up, and that also can come in the forms of financially. It can come in the forms of debt, where there's all these different things that when you think in your brain, you go oh, oh, I need to do that or I need to talk to this person. I don't want to have this conversation, I don't want to pay this bill, I don't want to go to this event, I don't want to have to have this conversation with this family member, etc. I don't want to have to eat like this, I don't have to train like this. It all seems like too much. When that's happening in your head, your energy is just leaking. So when you audit all these things that essentially you don't want to do, there's a bunch that you can just get and let go which is amazing for some of them, because you just have to acknowledge them before they go, and then the other ones you go to attack and make a move, and I really like this quote from Marcus Aurelius nothing is, as ever, as good or as bad as it seems Meaning. When you go to do finances, when you don't want to look at them, and you look at them, you go oh, this isn't as bad as what I thought. When you go to have the conversation with a family member, a partner, a friend, a co-worker or a teammate and you go, that conversation wasn't as bad as what I thought, even when it can be sometimes really difficult, challenging and bad once you. It can be sometimes really difficult, challenging and bad Once you get over it.

Speaker 1:

I sort of give myself this rule which I learned in a book. I can't remember what it was called, but you call it 32 hours of pain. So essentially, for you to get over pain or difficult conversations, it takes a day and a night. It takes the whole day and then a sleep, so it's 32 hours. So once a week when you're doing a magnetic order, you might find once a week I'm going to do 32 hours of pain and I'm just going to go and clear everything up as much as I can in that period of time, because once that 32 hours is gone, your body resets and you have an opportunity for fun, freedom, fulfillment and actually attracting right. And this makes sense in regards to the magnetic order, because when you think about a magnet, it has two poles and they have to be polarizing in order to create attraction now with your energy, in regards to how it leaks, in regards to all these things that you haven't done is you've become depolarized, right, you're all sort of meshed into one and you haven't created any energetic exchange where you can have energy. And all impacts your nervous system. And if you start looking into stress and how the brain works and how the vagus nerve and the nervous system works, is any of the stress that builds up in your nervous system just takes a toll out of it, and unless you have a really big and expanded emotional and energetic capacity, it makes it extremely difficult to deal with these things. And when you understand this and you can track it on things like an aura ring, right, you can literally track magnetism on this by looking at your stress and what you're doing. This is a part of it with your stress and your nervous system is, if my nervous system is cooked and it's fried, chances are I'm going to be way less magnetic. I'm not going to show up with that confidence. I'm not going to have that energy when it comes to a conversation. When someone talks to me, I'm not going to feel as embodied and calm and regulated right. So that's what you want to do. We want to go through a big audit of essentially everything and figure that out.

Speaker 1:

Number two is magnetic money. This is upgrading your mindset and capacity, right. So this is going over and making sure you're looking at your finances but then getting clear on what you want. What do you want? Where are you making money? Where are all the limiting beliefs around you making money?

Speaker 1:

For example, we had a bricklayer that come and worked with us and he had this limiting belief that he couldn't charge for his prices up front. He had to deliver his service first and then get the money coming afterwards. And he does a high quality, luxurious bricklaying job. And we essentially just went through some techniques and went through some processes to shift his mind so that he could start asking for money up front. He went from making $15,000 a month to $40,000 in a week. That's not an exaggeration. He made $40,000 in a week and from there he just kept growing and growing and now he runs a motocross track in Bali because he kept upgrading and changing his mind and he got more confidence and more skills and his dream was to have a motocross track in Bali. And he's like you know what he keeps improving and changing. He's going to get it and he did and he's having an absolute blast over there. Now, the further you grow, the more challenges come.

Speaker 1:

But I wanted to use that as an example, for that's one limiting belief, right, and that as an example, for that's one limiting belief, right, and there's many different beliefs. There's horizontal thinking and vertical thinking. In regards to money, horizontal thinking is like what are different projects that I'm doing? And then vertical thinking is how am I scaling what I'm doing? And within looking at those, you'll find all the blocks around, either going wide or going vertical, that come up for where your beliefs are when it comes to money, and when we understand what they are, you can break them. You start taking action. You become really magnetic because you've just removed some beliefs. So you're very polarized. So you ask bigger questions, you pitch bigger deals.

Speaker 1:

There's people that you speak to when you start looking at your own worth or the business that you're in. You could be a business partner right, and you might be the one who does all of the work and you're like you know what I'm doing like 80% of the work here. Why am I only on 15% of percent of this business? That is so silly and I've been in here for three years and it's like cool. Well, if you look at your mindset for money and what you're worth and you increase your self worth, all I need to do is have for more money. Is not something else is to have a conversation with my business partners about the work that I do, that I'm putting in building this business, and then I should be having more of a percentage and now I have to have a percentage. Closing conversation right when you understand this. But what's coming up for you? Whatever's the thing is for you where your block is and you get it. That's when you start to make some huge shifts and it just feels so good.

Speaker 1:

So we're also running a magnetic challenge inside. Set the standard at the time of you watching this. So if you look at some of the links below, click one of those. We're doing a seven day challenge. You can come and do it with me. It's a small pay challenge where we're going to work on each one of these days. Right, it is a day challenge for a week and essentially we're going to help you become the most magnetic person in the room, increasing your confidence in each one of these that I'm going through. We're going to be teaching you so super excited.

Speaker 1:

Number three is magnetic sales. Right, so this is more confidence, so that you can have bigger sales. You can ask for more money, charge for more money, close better deals and objection handle like a beast. Now, when people don't objection handle now. This is, for example, when you say, oh, my service, my offer, my product is this price and someone says I haven't got the time, I've got to check with my missus, I'm not sure if I have the money right now, don't know if it's for me, and say something along those lines. What do you think is going to have a bigger impact?

Speaker 1:

Your mindset, when you say, oh, I'm absolutely going to close this person on this objection, whatever the objection is, I'm going to talk to them about it and I'm going to handle this really well. And you say, well, on a scale of one to ten, is it like? What are you? What are your actual interest in this? If, let's say, time wasn't an issue, let's say, if your partner wasn't an issue, how much would you want to come in and do this? And they're like 100%, cool, give us a percentage out of 100. Cool, so you're 100% in. That wasn't the case, all right, cool. And then you have that energy to deal with the objections and really get into them. Or someone who goes you know what, I've got the skills right now and I can't be bothered and I don't want to put in that extra 5, 10%. And I say, hey, they might have the objection and you go. Well, it's a partner thing. You got a bit of a decision here. How much of a percentage are you on a scale of 1 to 10? And they're like, oh, this? And you're like, well, look, you got two options. You can either jump in and do this time and they might go, we'll book it another time. I do that Now if your energy is down and your stress has been down and your mindset isn't on knowing that you can make bigger sales, or you knowing the impact of how finance is going to help you or the vision that you're working for is going to decrease your energy for this.

Speaker 1:

It's going to decrease it. Who do you think is going to have a better go at closing that deal? Who do you think is going to get the person across the line? The person with more energy. And the person with more energy has stronger boundaries. They've done the order and they have a greater connection to their vision and their purpose. Right, this is the art of using, like masculine social dynamics, of becoming a leader, allowing the leader from within to come out and express themselves with energy. Right, especially when you're focused on one thing like that.

Speaker 1:

Now, if your whole life, you look at magnetic order and let's say, for example, it's filled with temptations, right, it's just scrolling on your phone distractions, bad eating, poor habits on the weekend, temptations in regards to the opposite sex, whatever that is and you think about that person's ability, in an objection handling situation, to be able to find the finesse, little parts of closing the deal and whatever they are. That the person is on the phone or in person or on a zoom call is showing signs of emotional. Oh, I want this, but I'm just hesitating. But you can specifically see clearly what it is because you haven't got all those temptations and distractions, how much more powerful you would be, so powerful so, with. The way to do that is to challenge yourself in regards to how can I upgrade my mindset and remove the limiting belief that I can't ask for more money, that I can't handle bigger objections. Because they're the two things.

Speaker 1:

The other one, for magnetic sales, is your ability to ask for more money. At what point does your threshold go? I can't ask for that money. I can't charge that price for what I'm going to offer, the value that I'm going to give for this is not enough. We've got to find what that number is, and then From there, you can either decide how do I increase the value so that I can charge more, or how can I increase my own self-worth so that I can charge more?

Speaker 1:

And there's exercises that we can do for that. For example, a really good one is practicing asking people in public for money just randoms, right, and what will happen is you'll get triggered a little bit, but what you'll notice is that you have a certain energy. Some people are going to say no, no, no, get rejection. But what you'll notice is that you have a certain energy, with some people going to say no, no, no, get rejection. But then you'll say to someone, hey, I'd love for you to buy me this. And that person will say, absolutely, I'd love to. And you're like, thank you, how was that so easy? What energy was I in when that happened? And can I bring that to my day, to my business, to my relationships? And when you do, you polarize your magnetic as hell. Now it's going to be a lot harder to do so when you've got all the stress and whatever going on. However, upgrading the skill is so essential to becoming magnetic and it gives you more confidence. You walk into any room and you're like, hey, I might even close the deal today, who knows? Right? And that energy comes off People like I want to be around that guy. So it's happened to me multiple times.

Speaker 1:

So number four is magnetic social skills. This is the owning every single room that you enter, and it's interesting because for this one, you think like, is it communication? It's a part of it, but communication is only 20% of words. I'm pretty sure it's only 20 to 30%. All communication is done through words. It's like 60 to 70% is communicated through body language.

Speaker 1:

So the first one for magnetic social skills is learning how to regulate your body before you walk into rooms, before you head out anywhere socially, and there are a few techniques that you can use for this, and I'll give you a couple, and this is 10 to 20 techniques. But one, for example, is when you walk into a room and say hi to someone, quickly, touch, shake hands, have a good conversation and open up a conversation that leans on authenticity and slight vulnerability. If you do that immediately, it sets the tone for the night. Wherever you're at, you're like I've done this, I've broken the seal. You can say now I feel more comfortable when I feel really embodied right Now. This is also parts of this is removing your trauma, going on your own healing journey so that, when you are in front of people, shame and guilt is removed out of your nervous system, so that you come across so much more regulated, combined with good sleep and a healthy physique, you really become unstoppable. And then the rest, for social skills, is actually increasing your charisma, right.

Speaker 1:

So what about your personality is authentic Now? This is so fascinating within this. I know what about your personality is authentic and how can you express that in a way that people can feel it. What I know for sure is that so many people that I've worked with and I've worked with is getting close to 400 men now in my set. The standard community is they don't even know what their own authenticity is. Right People run off of these patterns that they've had since they were children.

Speaker 1:

So making any authentic, integral decisions is actually hard. They're usually making decisions that their parents did, that society made for them, that they did as a kid, and they're not 100% as conscious as what they would like to be in regards to who they are as a person. And you have to dig deep to understand what they are. And it's just a few general prompts and really understanding yourself. And then when you go out into rooms it's practicing and how can I be the person that I want to be, which is actually just me, and how do I need to show up as that person? And you can integrate that into your personality. But it takes conscious effort for a short period of time, but I promise you it is worth every single second and it's just learning the art of storytelling. It's actually writing down and understanding your own stories and getting really good at active listening and asking questions. Right that, combined with a regulated nervous system, it's game over.

Speaker 1:

If you dress well as well game over, and dressing well is also subjective. Dressing well, by the way, this is an awesome fact is wherever you are. You wouldn't wear a bodybuilding outfit to a cyclist's meeting. If you're in a cyclist's meeting, wear the best cyclist outfit If you wear bodybuilding. If you're at a dinner party, dress the best that you would dress to fit and match the dinner party. So it's all subjective, but what you want to do in terms of dressing is just to fit the theme of wherever you are right, and that also increases your social skills as well. So this is an awesome step to work on in regards to increasing your magnetism.

Speaker 1:

Number five is social media. Working on your own personal brand, there's a difference, right? So who do you say? Who do you think has more of an impact? You work into a room and you introduce yourself and someone says oh, let's connect, let's show social media. You go in there and you've got four posts and 80 followers, versus the guy who they go oh, let's connect, let's connect, show us your instagram, show us your linkedin, whatever it is, whatever you're connecting on, and they see this guy's got 50 000 followers, a blue tick and he's posted 4 000 times. They go, whoa, what are you doing on social media? Right? Immediately your authority goes up, your power goes up, your influence goes up and this person has a lot more respect for. It's sort of like when someone takes a shirt off and they've got ripped, shredded, veiny abs, people go whoa, look at that. It's going to increase magnetism because that is positioning that shows authority and power and people respect that. It's influential. It's the same thing when someone opens your phone and sees your social media More so if you also run a podcast, if you're interviewing people, you have a YouTube channel or some sort of media distributional channel, that is the best way to go. Or if you have an e-commerce business or a painting business or any sort of business owner and you have your own business Instagram, use that, right.

Speaker 1:

But the thing is is what's going to really magnetize people to your own personal brand is when you can post and show up authentically and you're not afraid to. So essentially, I would say for most people I would say you're posting once a day, once every second day, right, that is minimum in order to help you become magnetic, having a podcast, even more so. And then when you can do it authentically, that is when you're going to get views, that's when you're going to get likes, that's when people are going to follow you. And it also doesn't matter if, for example, if you've only, let's say, you've got 5,000 followers, which is a decent amount of followers, but you've put up 3,000 posts, 4,000 posts, someone's going to look at that and go, holy hell, you take social media seriously and you're like well, of course I do it's.

Speaker 1:

And when they see how authentic you are on social media, immediately your magnetism, people want to get to know you. They want to be around you more. This person is not afraid of sharing anything on social media and they're passionate about their business and they're passionate about what they do. That's so influential, right, and that's motivating. It's inspiring to other people, and we live in this world where we have this beautiful technology where we can inspire as many people as we want to and as many people as we can, just through posting and sharing. So I believe that social media is just one of those beautiful ways where you can really become super magnetic, because people can find you online and they're going to want to come towards you.

Speaker 1:

Now, in regards to this, I just want to say there is multiple different ways that you can post on social media writing, recording videos, posting videos, long form videos, short form videos and you want to pick the platform that's best for you. The one that's best for me is always long-term videos. So podcasts are always the best for me. I love them so much more. I like getting on here and discussing topics for two hours, right. That is our favorite form of content. So, for me, I get the most, my most authenticity, I get my most magnetism when I'm creating long form content, right. So, picking whichever one works for you and then just focusing on that one Number six this is the last one is magnetic content relationships.

Speaker 1:

Stop chasing and attract what you want. So, whether you're single or you're in a relationship, everyone's got challenges. Everyone's got so many challenges. How can I get the right partner? Or do I want to date the right people? Do I want to have good experiences? And it's like, what do I want to attract in? How do I get chased when you're in a relationship? There's struggles that happen in a relationship. How can you be the one that's getting chased most of the time? If you're listening to this and especially you're a man, it is so rewarding when you have that magnetism, when someone is coming towards you, when it means it's love and it's attention and it's everything else, because being in that situation, when you really care and you love for someone and this feels so good, I can give through the art of receiving, and then I can also feel received through the art of giving right, which is just a beautiful thing to do.

Speaker 1:

Now, all this comes to is it's just positioning, framing, communicating and using all of the skills that we've talked about from number one, two, three, four, five. When you've gone through the audit, you've upgraded yourself socially, you've upgraded your magnetism financially and you've upgraded your magnetism in social media. Two things are going to happen. It's going to push out any bad relationships. So any people that judge, criticize or aren't actually your friends, who want to bring you down to their level, you'll notice that they'll start falling out right and that can be really difficult and challenging. Hold out to set the standard. We'll help you get through it.

Speaker 1:

Or people are going to be more attracted to you. Your partner's going to be more inspired by you and be like, wow, this person's so much more inspiring. I want to be around them, I want to help them more. How can I support them? Same thing when it comes to dating. So people are going to want to be around you more than go wow, look at this, what this person's doing I can tell from their body language and what they say and who they are and their authenticity. I want to be around this person. You become more inspiring.

Speaker 1:

So it's never just who you are in relationships, it's who you are in regards to everything that increases your magnetism within relationships. And then when you can increase your emotional intelligence in relationships, that's the skill to become magnetic. You increase your emotional intelligence to be able to handle and have the capacity for intimacy. The more you increase your capacity for intimacy and it's sort of like a polarization of intimacy the more people are going to want to come in. It's intimacy and fun and inspiration. You attract people and if your capacity increases for that in relationships and in dating, it gives you this confidence. That's like I'm not just going to go straight into having these crazy intimate experiences with people, but I'm going to be protecting my energy a little bit more with my boundaries. Right, I'm going to use some boundaries and that is going to draw people in, because now you're not in the situation of just need. You're like cool. I've got good boundaries. I've got this awesome capacity for intimacy. I'm a great partner.

Speaker 1:

The rest of my life is sorted out. I'm going to be just seeing if this person is a good fit into my life, instead of trying to always fit to someone else's life. So when you meet someone, you guys can play this really fun game, because if they're integrated of oh, will this person fit and suit my life and how can I essentially set up you can say fun games like fun games and situations and scenarios where I can see if this person's a good fit or not and can we have fun with it. And they're going to be doing the same thing to you. And it's sort of like you guys are playing you know chess and checkers at the same time and you're both making moves and energy builds and I think it's really fun. And when you realize that we're a really good fit, I think there's some life partner or some long-term dating here. Let's give it a crack. Now you've set this really healthy foundation and you're going to dance energetically in the relationship.

Speaker 1:

Then the bonus point out of all of this is, I would say the sixth step is to create a map and create a plan, and then you do create a map and you do create a plan to follow over a long period of time. Now you're visualizing how you can become magnetic. The chances of it happening drastically increase. And that's what we're going to be doing in the seven day magnetism challenge in set the standard. So there's a link below clicking if you're interested. But what we're going to be doing is each one of these steps is a different day in set the standard way. For the seven days we'd go through an audit, we go through magnetic money, magnetic sales, magnetic social skills, magnetic social media, magnetic relationships and then we do the magnetic map. So you've got a plan of accountability after this so that you can really turn into that most confident, most inspiring person that when you walk into a room people just go.

Speaker 1:

I need to talk to this person. I need to talk to this person. God knows how many times I've just been in situations and someone's gone. I need to talk to you. And the next minute I've made thousands of dollars. Or I've connected with someone who's been inspiration that I'm going to be connected with for the rest of my life. Or I've met someone who I've had an amazing you know, gone on some dates with or developed a relationship with someone and had intimate moments right. So I want you guys to experience that as well. Click some of the links below and I'll see you guys in the next one. Big love.