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Set The Standard
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Set The Standard
7 Ways to Become Socially Attractive & Charismatic #270
Ever walk into a room and feel confident… until you open your mouth?
You feel awkward. You seek validation.....and suddenly, you’re questioning your worth.
This video fixes that.
I’m breaking down the 7 essential skills that make men magnetic in business, dating, and everyday social interactions using my Masculine Social Dynamics Model™ that’s helped 300+ men go from invisible to unforgettable.... hell yeah!
You’ll learn:
• How to position yourself as the main character in any room
• Why authority isn’t about talking louder and what actually builds it
• The #1 reason you feel like a fraud (and how to clear it my guy)
• How to set calm boundaries that boost respect and attraction
• Why “hosting” is the fastest path to magnetic energy
• A psychology backed goodbye technique that leaves people wanting more... oh yeah!
• How to create instant social gravity (without chasing anyone)
Perfect for:
🔥 Coaches, creatives & founders who feel “invisible” in high-level rooms
🔥 Men who want to lead with presence instead of pleasing
🔥 Anyone who feels socially drained or performative and wants to feel solid
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📍 Timestamps:
00:00 – The reason you feel like a fraud socially
01:19 – What is Masculine Social Dynamics?
01:44 – Positioning: Becoming the main character
03:22 – Authority (without being loud or pushy)
05:11 – Authentic engagement: Rooting into the truth
07:12 – Respect via boundaries (not people pleasing)
09:00 – Magnetic hosting (in-person & online)
11:31 – Saying goodbye like a leader
13:14 – Becoming the photo/video guy to create social gravity
14:00 – Final thoughts + challenge invitation
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👥 Join our FREE men’s community:
https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about
🎯 Take the Magnetic Man Quiz or join the 7-Day Challenge:
https://8eltyrvzums.typeform.com/to/n777WygR
⸻
If you’re tired of feeling like you’re always performing, chasing, or forcing social energy…
This video will help you anchor into confidence, presence, and calm power so you can finally become the man that others want to follow, connect with, and support.
Big love,
Corey
Apply here https://www.coreyboutwell.net/speaksoon
Join Our Community: https://www.skool.com/setthestandard/about
FREE Mindset Webinar: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/dydp
Make sure you listen to the podcasts all the way through to get your discount code.
How weird is it when you walk into a room and, for some reason, you're not socially awkward, but when you start introducing yourself to people, you start feeling awkward. And then you start feeling like a bit of a fraud. And then, for some reason, when you're talking, you're like why do I need validation from these people all the time? So I'm gonna completely help you how to eradicate this in this video and I'm gonna give you seven tips to become socially attractive and really magnetic without being awkward, needy or feeling like a fraud. And my name is Corey Babwell. I'm the founder of men's community. Set the standard. You can go check that out on Instagram. We've worked with close to 100 men and we help people to become socially magnetic, personal brand magnetic and, in dating world, becoming really magnetic there, especially in relationships too, we help a lot of people in relationships.
Speaker 1:Anyway, let's get straight into it. So I'm going to give you seven different tips in this video, and then we are going to be using masculine social dynamics in order to get there. Masculine social dynamics is something that I have created over the last six years. It's like my life's work of understanding what masculine social dynamics is, and it takes a holistic approach around to healing, growth and optimization in order to get there, and then using social cues, techniques and skills in order to implement it. You can't do the implementation of masculine social dynamics without all of the other stuff. So if you need any support with healing purpose, communication skills, whatever it is, please come and see us at set the standard, especially if you're a man, all the things.
Speaker 1:So the first thing I want to talk about is positioning, and positioning is this thing that you can use where you can, consciously or unconsciously, give people permission to follow you. So this is the person. When a host at a party, you might have just a really big energy that makes people want to come around to you. You might be the person there that is the chef or has all the food, or you could pay, have a big social media account or something that everyone knows. You could be the owner of a certain business that connects people together. So whatever that is, that can give you some sort of positioning, and that is a frame of when you walk into a room, you're like, oh, I am a main character here and people are here not for me just to meet, but also to meet me as well, which is really powerful. So when you walk into a room, you're not the person who's looking around for approval, you're the one who's letting people orient towards you. Now you can have positioning. Let's say, for example, if you're like a 20 year old kid who's in the entrepreneurial scene and you're in a room full of 50 year olds who have been entrepreneurs for ages, if you're going in with the I would love approval from all these guys. They might see your youth and your drive and be like I don't want to invest in this guy. You have positioning if you're that age. It's only 10 minutes, so that's the only way that you're going to get positioning if you're like that age.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, how this works is you can use this for personal branding as well. So you can use this on social media. So, instead of posting motivational quotes, it's posting raw insights from your own story and what you're actually learning right now, documenting. It's building your instagram bio to reflect what you stand for and not exactly what you do. So it's like okay, this is what I'm standing for, instead of, oh, I help people do this. This is the mission that I'm convicted to. So this can work in on social media and dating, in the dating realm and in social interactions, so, which I think is extremely important.
Speaker 1:The second step or second skill I'd like you guys to learn here is authority, but without forcing authority, not having to be the. To learn here is authority, but without forcing authority, not having to be the person that. This is my authority. Authority is a frame and if you do not have authority, go and get some. If you don't have any genuine, real authority in life in terms of you're not an expert in a certain field, you haven't done certain things with your life, there is, if you're insecure about your achievements, go achieve some stuff, because that is going to give you authority. For example, one really awesome way you can gain authority is to get extremely fit, get extremely healthy and put on some muscle as a man. All those things immediately give you authority. You can change how you dress, your clothes, your haircut, how you, and then you can also heal your energy in terms of your vibe by getting rid of your trauma so that you feel really regulated and embodied.
Speaker 1:So when that you're in in a space, people go, wow, this person has some sort of authority. You can work on your speech, you can work on your vocal tonality, so all these different things can help you give authority. Or you can just go and get high amounts of authority. The success get the girl, get the car, whatever it is that you actually desire in order to show up. So those things can work, and it just depends on who you are as a person and which way works best for you. And what authority does is it'll put you in the position where you actually speak less and you're able to hold more tension, right?
Speaker 1:So you can always tell that someone has some sort of authority. If they're not the one who's consistently trying to tell you stories all the time, they're more likely asking you questions. They're trying to learn and they're trying to understand you. Most of the time, people who have high level amounts of authority I don't know if you've seen this. They're just like in a concept of someone who was this person. What do they do here? But that was really curious people and they always decide how and when and where the conversation goes, because someone of authority doesn't want to waste their time having a conversation that they don't want most of the time, and this is high-level authority. So, for example, instead of saying don't say I think this might help you or can I ask permission, or can you do this for me, or can I ask you to? Is it okay? If questions like that won't work In terms of authority, is here's what works.
Speaker 1:This is what I think right. So this is statements where you're inserting authority from authority, what you know and believe to be true. Right, which I think is extremely powerful to have. Number three authentic engagement. So this is exactly how it says. So this is just engaging authentically.
Speaker 1:So showing up unfiltered, after doing the inner work where people can actually feel your truth, and it doesn't feel like a performance that can make you socially magnetic. So for me, this was a huge one. I always felt this pressure to be a performer and to perform in general in some way, shape or form in order to entertain people, and that come so second nature to me, because I grew up singing, dancing and acting. So what that would do is that would lead me to feeling like a fraud most of the time, or needing validation, right, and I wouldn't even notice that that would happen, and I was like, no, that's not me, that doesn't need to happen. And and then sometimes I was like, oh, absolutely, it does. So that will ruin your magnetism and when you will feel more magnetic, when you're rooted in something real and you actually feel grounded right, and that comes from just working on your own authenticity.
Speaker 1:So this isn't, for example, something that you have to do per se whilst at a social event or on social media. This is more of the energy of where it comes from. Once you've found yourself. If you haven't found yourself and you haven't noticed, if you're anxiously attached, if you're avoidant attached, if you've got trauma, you haven't done shadow work, there's stress or unconscious things behind the scenes, you know that it's time for you to integrate. Then this is your invitation to integrate them, right? Do you guys see how important this is? Or have you had any moments in your life where you felt like that before? Would you be like, wow, I wasn't as authentic as what I'd like to be in this moment. So people want to align with people who know who they are, because then that helps them understand who they are. So an example is a bit like a social media one. Instead of when someone puts in their story like what do you guys want to see, right, you post something instead of. This is what I've learned after failing business three times Bang, and then this is my thing. So same thing in regards to if you're interacting with people in person, instead of asking questions like what do you guys want me to talk about, I could say this or how about you ask me a question? You could just say something along the lines of oh, my goodness, I did this and this is exactly what happened to me. So those true, honest and raw stories, such a hack.
Speaker 1:Number four is sticking up for your boundaries. Respect doesn't come from being liked, right. It comes from people knowing your limits and enforcing them with calm power, right. If you guys haven't seen somewhere around here, obviously, if I can link it or link below, there will be a three-part boundary series that I've taught, that I created to teach you how to implement boundaries. It's extremely important. So, for example, a lot of people please, as a nice guys when it comes, and just people in general when it comes to implementing boundaries will feel guilty around telling them because they don't want someone else to feel bad. But the opposite happens.
Speaker 1:If you can pre-frame and you understand your boundaries first and you say, for example, I don't stay at parties too long because I train early, so I'll be leaving around this time, and then you actually leave at that time. That's a really good way of implementing your boundaries, and the energy of who you are, your personal brand and how you show up in the world is determined by what you say no to. So, for example, it's just like saying no to every single opportunity or every single invite to places and then instead it's saying yes to the ones where it's almost the ones that you really want to go to authentically. Yes, this is an absolute yes for me and I can feel it inside my body. If not, and you don't speak your boundaries, then it's a lot easier for people to just not respect you at the level which, most of the times, you would like. And then, once your boundaries start getting crossed or they cross a couple because you haven't taken the responsibility to implement to them then they're always going to get crossed. And then you build up unconscious resentment and then you become the magnetism and people are less likely going to want to be around you. So resentment, and then you become the magnetism and people are less likely going to want to be around you. So how crazy is that? Number five? This is just hosting. Socially magnetic people own the energy of the room, online and offline.
Speaker 1:Now the hosting frame and the hosting skill is an experience where, essentially, you're guiding the emotional tone. So if you have people coming to your house, you're hosting an event. Let's say, people come to your house, you don't get any snacks, provided your house isn't clean, there's hardly anywhere to sit. You know what I mean. People are just going to come and walk in and be like, wow, this is terrible and there's no music, which is how awkward that would be. So hosting is a skill. How well can you actually host? And this is like what do people want? And say it's just like a gathering in your house, right, food, it's going to look nice, it's going to be clean, it's going to smell nice, there's going to be incense going. You want to have a certain type of music going on. There is one areas where people can hang out and talk and actually connect, so that they're able to connect. So it could be like seats facing each other, like count couch sections or whatever it is around the place, so that people can can hang out. So that's a good form of hosting.
Speaker 1:Now you can also host online and you can also host post online, which is just like creating some form of community which is getting people to hang out, doing webinars or zooms, where you're hosting something for people. Or you can do things socially. An example where, if you're the one who's attending a party and obviously someone's hosting the party you could be someone who hosts games. You could be someone who hosts magical moments. Example everyone come in, let's grab a photo. You could be that person that's creating content for people. You could say, hey, let's all go here and do this. Or who would like to go? Walk to this spot? So you want to host people going to a different spot and then coming back. So any opportunities where you take leadership is like now you're in this frame of hosting, you're way more socially magnetic and people are going to remember you. They'll be like oh, that's that guy that took that photo, that's that guy that took us down here at that thing. That was really fun. That's the guy that created that piece of content. That's really cool. So now you're becoming remembered and it's a lot less likely that you're going to be invisible.
Speaker 1:And this is in the dating scene, this is online and this is at social events. So it's extremely important and when you can understand what hosting is. It's so powerful. I literally did it. Yesterday we were at a event where we're playing paddleball. It was like this coffee dj event in austin and it was amazing and I was like there are some people here that would like to connect with and haven't got enough time because I'm tired from playing paddleball for ages. But what are we doing? And everyone was dancing. So I went and grabbed my phone and said everyone, come down the middle, let's dance in front of my phone. So I got everyone to come and everyone danced in front of my phone and afterwards I had people coming up to me and saying, oh hey, can I get that footage? Can I find you? And then when I posted it, I had multiple people follow me from the event on my page, anyone who was there, who I wanted to connect a network with. Now I have the greatest opportunity to do so, and that is creating an opportunity for magnetism, for people to come to me rather than me having to go and come to them, which is amazing. So that is just like the art of networking. So, essentially, some examples of that would be what I've just said.
Speaker 1:I've mentioned just literally. Do some of those. But I also want to ask you the question how can you do it? What events are you going to? Where are you going? Who are you talking? How are you showing up on social media and what can you do to start hosting? Because hosting puts you in the position for having authority. Hosting really enables you to show your authentic engagement and it doesn't really show your boundaries, but you have an opportunity to enforce boundaries if you like. All really show your boundaries, but you have an opportunity to enforce boundaries if you like. All right, we got two more.
Speaker 1:Six is get really good at saying goodbye. So, no matter what party you leave, never ghost, never be like oh, that's the ones that get out of here and ghost if you want to create. You know people always remember the last impression that they've had on you. So if you have to leave early on parties, if you're only stopping by, you know that you didn't get a chance to meet everyone. Go, shake hands, make eye contact, say something extremely nice to people who are at social events and say goodbye. Same thing in regards to social media. You can use this every time that you're traveling, every time that you've finished a project, thanking and saying goodbye to people, anytime anyone says goodbye. People are so used to having these memories of going that person was really nice. I loved how they said goodbye. So, whether that's online or in person, people psychologically are always going to remember a goodbye because they have to remember that person, because they're going and now we're doing something here, so the brain will always make a recollection to it. So get really good at saying goodbye and never bail out on ghosting.
Speaker 1:And number seven is something that I mentioned before is create content for everyone. Be the person who takes the photos, makes the videos, puts it around, because most time people forget they're having so much fun in social engagements or having so much fun when they're out and about that people forget to take the photo. And if you're the person that's like, let's get the photo here or let's get the thing here, right, that increases your magnetism because people are going to want to be around you, they want to exchange, they want to be around you, they want to exchange, they want to airdrop, they want to change numbers, blah, blah. They know that you're the person that's got that photo. You get tagged on social media. People are going to find you that way.
Speaker 1:So if you use social media being the person who creates the content or if you don't use social media, just be the photo guy, so that the people who do have social media will come and grab that from you in the middle. I'd love to get that photo now you've started a conversation from a frame of you've got positioning because you've got the photo and authority because you've got the photo and you've also got the a bit of the hosting frame there because you actually did something like oh, thank you so much for making sure that we got got that photo. So those are seven tips that you can use quickly, using masculine social dynamics, to become socially magnetic as hell. If you like this video, please share and subscribe, and if you want to join my seven-day magnetic challenge there should be a link down below click that. Come and join us. We'd love you to be.