Time To Simplify | Time Management for Online Business, Biblical Mindset + Podcasting Leverage

3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert | Part 1 #213

February 14, 2024 Episode 213
3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert | Part 1 #213
Time To Simplify | Time Management for Online Business, Biblical Mindset + Podcasting Leverage
More Info
Time To Simplify | Time Management for Online Business, Biblical Mindset + Podcasting Leverage
3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert | Part 1 #213
Feb 14, 2024 Episode 213

What's your biggest challenge in conquering the clock? Message me!

How would you rate your financial literacy? How about your blended finances -- what rating would you give to you as a couple?
 
Sometimes, it's really tough to have conversations about the money. That ends today, with this episode! It's time to get unstuck and move forward in your finances, together!
 
Too often, couples fight about the money.  There's imprinting, habits, and stresses that are the ammo for the fight.  In this episode, you'll learn how healthy conversations start regarding finances so you can begin to experience real change, together.
 
 >>>Register for VIP NIGHT inside the Academy! $17
https://www.coachjenrogers.com/VIPNightAcademy 
It's time to build on all those habit loops we've been sharing on the podcast and bring financial habits into the loop!  

To do this well, please join me in welcoming our special guest, Terry Peña. Terry is a Financial Planner and Founder of One Tenth Consulting. She and her husband created a financial plan to move to one income so Terry could stay home with their children when they were younger. That was the spark that kindled Terry’s 🔥passion🔥 for teaching financial literacy to Christian couples.

Terry outlines three simple points: the healing, the communication, and the planning for sound financial management that glorifies God (and removes a whole bunch of stress for you, too).

PART 2 HERE

15 Minute Classic Convo Formula from #151   When x happens _______, I feel ______.  Will you meet with me for 15 minutes in the next two days so we can talk about this?
 
 Learn more about Terry in all these spaces:
 Terry Pena - Financial Planner | Christian | Wife | Mom | Entrepreneur
Instagram   One Tenth Consulting, LLC   LinkedIn
📥FREE Download 10 Strategies for Dealing With Financial Crisis from Terry.

P.S. I’ve tinkered and updated this episode originally broadcast in April, 2022 when my hunka-hunka Bill and I interviewed guests.  Our past does sow seeds into our futur

Take Your Power Back & Reclaim Your Joy, FAST! www.stepfamilypodcast.com/WorkWithJen
📞Get Featured on the show! Ask Jen Anything

Next steps:
Step 1: Join the Empowered Community bit.ly/joyfulwithjen
Step 2:
BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES! Powerful Free Handbook + Bonuses!
Step 3:
De-Stress Planning - Celebrations Guide! bit.ly/CelebrateWithJen
Step 4:
Top 10 tips to Regain Your Power & Prevent Burnout Free Download!
Step 5:
Peaceful Co-Parenting Strategies that Work-Mini Workshop $97

Be strong, and let your heart be courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

What's your biggest challenge in conquering the clock? Message me!

How would you rate your financial literacy? How about your blended finances -- what rating would you give to you as a couple?
 
Sometimes, it's really tough to have conversations about the money. That ends today, with this episode! It's time to get unstuck and move forward in your finances, together!
 
Too often, couples fight about the money.  There's imprinting, habits, and stresses that are the ammo for the fight.  In this episode, you'll learn how healthy conversations start regarding finances so you can begin to experience real change, together.
 
 >>>Register for VIP NIGHT inside the Academy! $17
https://www.coachjenrogers.com/VIPNightAcademy 
It's time to build on all those habit loops we've been sharing on the podcast and bring financial habits into the loop!  

To do this well, please join me in welcoming our special guest, Terry Peña. Terry is a Financial Planner and Founder of One Tenth Consulting. She and her husband created a financial plan to move to one income so Terry could stay home with their children when they were younger. That was the spark that kindled Terry’s 🔥passion🔥 for teaching financial literacy to Christian couples.

Terry outlines three simple points: the healing, the communication, and the planning for sound financial management that glorifies God (and removes a whole bunch of stress for you, too).

PART 2 HERE

15 Minute Classic Convo Formula from #151   When x happens _______, I feel ______.  Will you meet with me for 15 minutes in the next two days so we can talk about this?
 
 Learn more about Terry in all these spaces:
 Terry Pena - Financial Planner | Christian | Wife | Mom | Entrepreneur
Instagram   One Tenth Consulting, LLC   LinkedIn
📥FREE Download 10 Strategies for Dealing With Financial Crisis from Terry.

P.S. I’ve tinkered and updated this episode originally broadcast in April, 2022 when my hunka-hunka Bill and I interviewed guests.  Our past does sow seeds into our futur

Take Your Power Back & Reclaim Your Joy, FAST! www.stepfamilypodcast.com/WorkWithJen
📞Get Featured on the show! Ask Jen Anything

Next steps:
Step 1: Join the Empowered Community bit.ly/joyfulwithjen
Step 2:
BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES! Powerful Free Handbook + Bonuses!
Step 3:
De-Stress Planning - Celebrations Guide! bit.ly/CelebrateWithJen
Step 4:
Top 10 tips to Regain Your Power & Prevent Burnout Free Download!
Step 5:
Peaceful Co-Parenting Strategies that Work-Mini Workshop $97

Be strong, and let your heart be courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

The Empowered Stepmom™| Biblical Boundaries, Habits, Mindset


213 \\ 3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert [Part 1 of 2]

FEBRUARY 14, 2024 EPISODE 213

The Empowered Stepmom™| Insider Secrets for High Achievers: Biblical Boundaries, Mindset, Habit Stacks + Goal Setting

213 \\ 3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert [Part 1 of 2] 

Jen Rogers: 0:00

Let me ask you, “How healthy would you say your finances are?”

 Let's say, on a scale of red to green, those two colors that just happened to be on the opposite sides of the color wheel. Listen, we're all in different places regarding the color of money. Regardless of where you are on your journey, wisdom-filled reminders on how God is calling us to be good stewards of our resources are essential to our financial management success. 

Are you ready to embrace the possibility of what financial health and wealth can look like for you?

Me too! 

That's why I reached into the vault to pull out an interview Bill and I did together to create a special episode just for you. In fact, it's so special I'm dropping it in two parts, with part one being a day early and part two dropping on the regular, aka Thursday. 

 

If you're super savvy and want to hear the whole interview, scrolly-scroll to the link to PART 2 in the show notes and you can listen to it in the back office before it goes live on all the platforms. 

 

Hey there, I'm Jen Rogers, Certified Professional Life Coach, keynote speaker, bible teacher and recovered certified public accountant. Although I've moved past my CPA gigs, money management in our home has not gone away, no matter our professions. 

 

Good stewardship calls us to practice money management in our home finances, and that sweet friend means we've got to have some difficult conversations. That's definitely my personal mission and the mission of the Empowered Stepmom Podcast to greatly enhance effective communication as you grow in wisdom and build confidence as a woman after God's own heart, whether through the power of a 15-minute classic convo as modeled in episode number 151, the way you start is by taking one step at a time. 

 

How you feel about something is temporary. 

 

What you're willing to do about it, that something, well, that sweet friend is how you create habit loops that work for you. 

 

In this two-part series you'll meet Terry Peña. Terry is the owner of one-tenth consulting, treasurer of the Latina Business Network and financial wellness coach with Operation Hope. She's passionate about finances with a biblical approach. She's a wife, a mom and an entrepreneur who loves working with Christian families. 

 

In today's podcast, Terry outlines three simple points the healing, the communication and the planning for sound financial management. I am so excited to bring her back on the show. We're about to jump in. But before we do guess what, Terry will be inside our community, February 15th at 6 pm. Registration is open until 5:49 pm. Central Time, the night of our event, so you can meet us on time. 

 

You'll have access to a financial professional who understands the complications of blended family finances and has a heart for hearing with compassion. Join me and Terry Peña inside the Special Academy event. Click the link in the show notes for VIP night. Inside the academy we're listening to a two-part episode, episode number 213, of the Empowered Stepmom podcast. I'll hand it over to Bill. He's going to kick off part one. Let's get into it.

Bill Rogers: 3:28

We're privileged to have a financial planner from the Long Island area of the country. She comes to us from 1-10 financial planning. Those of you biblical scholars will know the significance of that. We have Terry Peña with us today to talk about finances and blended families. Welcome, Terry.

Terry Peña: 3:52

Welcome. Thank you, I'm super excited. I love, love, love this topic, so I'm excited to get into it with you and your audience.

Bill Rogers: 4:00

What got you into financial planning?

Terry Peña: 4:03

I've always been a people person. I've always loved just mingling and meeting. Everything that I've done has always been like sales and marketing and territory acquisition. When we decided that I needed to stay home with the kids because we were on our fifth babysitter, I was like no, this is just not going to work. I started staying home. I wanted to build my own business, do something for myself, because I just always loved entrepreneurship. I realized that me and my husband were actually really good when we went from two incomes to one income and that we were able to get everything done communicate. I just started taking courses and classes. I loved it. I said you know what? This is something that is really missing. This is something that I myself did not grow up with, that nobody taught me. It just needs to be shared. That's what I started doing.

Bill Rogers: 5:03

That sounds certainly like a great journey.

Jen Rogers: 5:06

Yeah, share, a little bit more about your earlier background, because we know you can relate to our audience, because you are a stepkid.

Terry Peña: 5:15

Yes, I am. I grew up with my mother when I was much younger. My parents got divorced early on. I don't have any memories of them living together or anything like that. I'm assuming it was before I was five. I was always back and forth between both households. My mom passed away when I was about 14. 

 

Not only was I used to going back and forth between my mom's house and my dad's house, then I moved in with my dad when she passed away and got into the dynamic of living with them, with my stepmom. Very quickly they got separated about two years later and then it was just me, my sisters and my dad. I've had a bunch of different household experiences thrown at me when I was young at a very quick age. Completely different dynamics, because my mom actually had a Christian background and she would take us to church and we would do those things with her. But in my father's house it wasn't that way. My dad was more Catholic by tradition, so we didn't go to church and things like that. So a lot of different dynamics thrown at us as kids in a very quick couple of years.

Jen Rogers: 6:34

That makes me think about our conversation that we had a little over a month ago now, where you were sharing about imprinting and how there's financial imprinting going on in addition to the other imprinting that's happening. Can you share about the challenges couples face when they come together and bring that imprinting with them? In your experience and working with your clients.

Terry Peña: 7:02

Yes, absolutely. One of the things that we don't notice is there's many different areas that affect how we see money or how we handle money or money mindset, and it literally starts from when we're children. 

 

So if you think back to how your parents raised you and how they handled money and what you saw and not just the spoken things, but even just the unspoken things it affects us very deeply and we don't realize it. 

 

If you were in a household where maybe dad worked and mom was a stay-at-home mom and he brought in the money and that's all you saw and mom didn't touch the money, she didn't handle it, she didn't do anything with it, then that may contribute to how you think that a household finances should be run or how you should do it. 

 

On the flip side, maybe, if you saw something different, where maybe, like mom, she managed all the money and she took care of everything and she made most of the major decisions, then guess what, when you get older, you're going to think that's the way to do it. And the same happens with hearts and hangups Once we actually get past that stage of being a child and then we start managing a little bit of our own money and then we get into a relationship and then not only do you have all your financial attributes from your past and those attributes that are innately in you because we tend to have just certain tendencies as well but then when you mix all that together between you and your spouse and his history or her history and everything that she came with, that's a lot of information. That's a lot of good things, because there are some amazing things that our parents have taught us. But then that also has a lot of negative things, a lot of hurts, a lot of pains that come alongside with. So it can be very heavy and we don't think about that, we don't stop and give each other kind of like grace to remember that there's many years of being of things and mindsets and struggles and pains within ourselves from all those years.

Bill Rogers: 9:16

And Terry, that's a very interesting thing and we've dealt with that in some other areas of our lives. But when we think about a couple having been married, sometimes you do adjust your financial beliefs in that marriage and now bring that into a new marriage. Now you're bringing perhaps two other ideas. Maybe you have four different ideas of money coming into the same home.

Terry Peña: 9:40

Yeah, absolutely so. One of the things that I love reminding it within the fact of communication, we have to remember there's two main predispositions when it comes to finances. There's usually spenders or there's savers

 

Yes, some of us fall a little bit in between the spectrum, but for the most part, sometimes we really tend to lean on one side or the other. So your spender what is your spender like? 

 

Your spender is the person that believes that money is meant to be enjoyed, that we're young and we can work and we can go on vacation now, so it's important to spend that money that's coming in now, because we never know what's going to happen tomorrow, so let's just make sure that we enjoy it and spend it. 

 

Then we have the saver, and the saver believes and sees things completely different. They believe that the money earned was hard earned and it should be saved because when we need it in the future and you just never know what's going to happen and we need to save a nice little mess tag to keep it safe and away, and spending money on things that are quote unquote not important, right, because everybody sees importance in a different level we need to not spend that money. 

 

So you have these two completely different dynamic amongst everything else going on, and when we have a specific predisposition, we tend to think that's the right way to do it. The saver thinks that the right way is saving and the spender thinks that the right way is spending. So then you're putting together two completely different mindset, opinions, dichotomies and then you're trying to figure out how to manage one household finance and budget. So it can get pretty interesting.

Jen Rogers: 11:34

I think we've lived some of that interesting Sometimes. Sometimes, when you were sharing those descriptions, when you were talking about the spender, it felt so warm and yummy and gooey inside. Oh yeah, vacation. I mean, it's cold in winter here right now. Still, spring is trying to spring forth, but not quite yet, and I was thinking, oh gosh, a crew somewhere that would be awesome, let's go. Yet when you were talking about the saver, I got that too. I could relate to both of those to say, yeah, I like the idea of having that money for a future purpose.

Bill Rogers: 12:13

One thing certainly we have addressed. And I can't say that's one of our biggest hangups honey. Money's never really been here.

Jen Rogers: 12:21

Honey, only the kids have been the hangup in our marriage, truth be told, only the kids.

Bill Rogers: 12:26

But everything else has been pretty cool, it's very important based on what you're saying, Terry, that when a couple is thinking about blending, that is one of the really important conversations to have is how do we handle money

And it goes to things like not only do we spend or save, but how do we pay the bills. How do we? What do we think about debt? How do we treat that? Because you can see, a person that comes from debt is probably gonna get into debt again and that's not gonna be a good situation.

Terry Peña: 12:56

Yeah, absolutely, because we tend to live in the same cycle unless we have some sort of healing occur. It's important to really sit down together and discuss and make plans and agree and coordinate, and we don't do it, sometimes the simplest ways to fix a issue or a problem or a hurt, and we just don't do, we don't make the time for it, we blame it on the business, our jobs, our kids, our lives, right, everything in between, and we really don't sit down and work on those things or sometimes we just get so stuck in ourselves in our own pain or our own frustrations that it's hard for us to hear and make space and understand our spouse's frustrations, especially when it comes to finances. 

 

So one of the most important things is really just honoring each other honoring each other's differences, the way that we each see it differently, understanding that we grew up differently and that we have different things that have happened in our lives that have shaped us, but making space for that honor and the way that we can make the space for that honor. I'll give two examples. 

 

Let's say your wife is a stay-home mom, so she may not necessarily make money, as in she doesn't have a paycheck that's coming into the household. But her contribution to the family is a financial contribution because she's allowing for the husband to be able to work, to go out there in peace, to know that the kids are safe, that they're being raised with the principles that we want to raise them in, that they're able to be home and do all these things. So that is a very important contribution to the household and to the household finances. 

 

But if, in that case, if the husband is not making the space for there to be dialogue and conversation and decisions together in regards to the finances, she may not feel like she's being treated fairly or equally or that she's not being able to contribute to the process effectively, and that can hurt and wound her deeply.

 

It's important to make sure that we honor our spouse, the woman, in that sense, the same way. Another example on the other realm the husband works and the wife is home or she works, et cetera. Either way it doesn't matter. 

But there's an agreement and there's a spending plan; there's a budget in place and they say we're not going to spend X amount of money, but for some reason the wife just can't seem to not spend and those purchases outside of the agreement and just keeps on spending and spending and that can hurt the husband deeply because he feels like maybe she's not trustworthy or she can't keep true to that. That might hurt him deeply and he may feel disrespected. So there's so many different ways that we can really disrespect each other and not honor each other and it really causes a lot of pain that we need to really work on those things and be mindful of those things, because they really do affect the marriage deeply.

Bill Rogers: 16:13

That's excellent insight, Terri. We just read this morning in Ephesians 5. It says wives submit to your husbands, but then it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, and I think these go together. So you've mentioned a few times that we can bring financial hurts either into our marriage or create them in our marriages. What is the healing process that has to occur there for a couple to move on from those kind of arguments constantly?

Terry Peña: 16:44

The healing process always occurs with just the reintegration and just including God in our journey. It always starts there. It's that understanding that we're not perfect, that we don't have it all together and that we need Christ in our lives and we need the guidance and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to be able to move forward and really live those changes. When we actually stop and say you know what, lord, I cannot do this without you. 

 

I cannot do it as a husband, I cannot do it as a wife without you, and you come together and you make an agreement that you are going to include God in this process, that you are going to let Him in, that you are going to seek Him and wait on Him for these big decisions, that's where it comes in. 

 

So when we allow Him to come in and we allow for Him to give us that grace, that that which he gave us on the cross, that we remember that we are forgiven and that we remember that there are things that have happened, that it just is what it is, it's okay, god forgives us and we move forward, we ask for that forgiveness and we press on, that's the biggest thing, that's really where it all lies, it's that integration of Christ and then after that, then it's the things that we can actually do practically to walk into that. It won't happen if we don't first include God in our journey.

Bill Rogers: 18:17

Amen. This pastor's heart feels you can come and join our church anytime, Sherry.

Jen Rogers: 18:21

I said earlier, move over Dave Ramsey! So great! Just to put a point on this so necessary healing that it is important that we acknowledge hey, I'm coming with $29 in my bank account and a $15,000 credit card and I got to pay child support in alimony, are you good? 

 

That can be really tough and yet when you can deal with the facts and make them facts instead of make them an attack or have them a label that brings along that guilt and that shame, then you can begin to heal. 

 

You can begin to say okay, God, yes, I am inviting you in. This is where we are and we know we want to learn more what your word says. We want to lean into what you have for us in your word. That healing is so important. So we stop hurting one another, so that we stop turning that financial pain into a weapon and we use it as a tool instead.

Terry Peña: 19:24

Yeah, absolutely. And what does guilt and shame do? Guilt and shame? All it does is separate us from God.

 

It makes a chasm, it makes a void, and then that same void, we are creating it within our relationship with our husbands and our wives. A lot of times I've seen, when I have these financial discussions with Christians, there's the guilt and the shame of, oh, I wasn't a good steward. 

 

Like, I know better, I know that I shouldn't mismanage my money, I know that I shouldn't be in debt, and that guilt is so heavy that it doesn't allow the person to move forward. So we go back to the healing part of it. 

 

We need to remember God knows our humanity, that he knows that we make mistakes and sometimes we fall into things that are difficult and hard for us. But once we give that to Him, once we say to Him Lord, I'm sorry this happened and I need your help, I need you to restore me. He will restore you. He will restore your finances, he will restore your new marriage, he will restore your household. He will be there to bring you to where he needs you to be. We just have to be willing to let go and put it in His hands.

Bill Rogers: 20:43

Terri, what you're saying is that finances is just one part of the package. If our finances are experiencing difficulties in our marriage, it's good evidence that there are other things that are also going by the wayside and, as you say, that we're not really submitting ourselves before God.

Terry Peña: 21:01

Yeah, absolutely, but it's doable, right? I think that's the biggest thing. Sometimes it can feel so big and so heavy that we become blinded by our circumstance and our situation and we feel like we can't come out of ourselves. We just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel within that problem with our husband, or within that problem with our wife, or within the financial problem. Whatever the problem is, we feel so consumed by it that we think we're going to get stuck there. But that is not the case. 

 

There's always a way out. 

 

That's why God is so perfect and so loving. There's always a way where he can come in and restore the things that we've lost, or restore what needs to be restored.

Jen Rogers: 21:50

That really speaks to our mission in the sense that we say stepfamily mission possible – it is possible. There are steps that you need to take in order to improve your family life, in order to improve your spousal interactions. 

 

The thing about money is we've got to have good communication about money, because it comes up all the time. You need to pay the electric bill, you need to pay your mortgage, you are deciding if you're buying a new car, you need to pay child support, so it's never going to go away. I, I was thinking of what is it? Snow white in the seven dwarves, where the dwarves sweep the dirt underneath the rug? Pretty soon you're gonna have mounds in that rug, for sure. 

 

It's really important that we can get to the point where we're communicating once we are Healing, in the process of healing and practicing this forgiveness and it does take practice. Oftentimes we think we're going to be one and done Okay, we made a decision, our finances are going to be better, so all of a sudden they're going to be better. Yet if we're not talking about them and we're not making decisions together, nothing's going to change.

Terry Peña: 22:55

Yes, and the reality is that Finances is usually like a slow game, right? It's not? Oh, you know what, honey? We're going to sit here and we're both deciding that we're no longer going to be a debt and all of a sudden the debt disappears. Because, most likely, if there's a lot of debt, we're talking about a game plan that can be anywhere from one to five years. So think about what it takes the mindset, the stamina, the face, the ability to Continue in your planning. It's a long haul, right. So you have to be willing to do all those things for one to five years for you to finally see the fruits of what you're working on. So it that's. I think sometimes the hard part for us with Finances is that it's not like one of those quick decisions that the minute you decide that's the route that you're going to take, that it just happens. 

 

And that's why we also sometimes neglect things in in our retirement, because if we're all more on the younger end of it, we're not thinking about it. We like we feel young, we're, we see what we have going on as a family and we're like, ah, we'll figure it out later, we'll figure it out later, later, later. And then later comes and we're like, oh, I should have, I didn't. We like we had. 

 

Remember, honey, those years when you were working and we were making so much money? Where did it go? We have nothing to show for it. And now we're in our older ages and we need that money now to be able to retire. Well, so it definitely is. It's a tricky area of our lives because not only does it affect so many area of our lives, but it's a long term, lifelong Strategy.

Jen Rogers: 24:46

It's not something that's just momentary that speaks to the importance of we were not designed to do this alone. Not having those conversations with your spouse is already something that's going to set you back financially, because God puts you together for a reason and part of that is to manage the gifts that he's given you in line with that. 

 

Sometimes a couple can't do it alone and they need outside help. There are so many options, so many different ways you could invest your money. What's the best way to go? So many new things out there that we're wondering is this a place where we should place Our money and we, frankly, don't have the time to become an expert in that. Can you speak a little bit to how you incorporate teamwork into a couple's finances?

Terry Peña: 25:32

Yes. So it's very important to just decide to be on the same page. 

Nobody does financial planning the same, because everyone has completely different situations, especially in blended families, because you may have child support and you may have financial situations that you still have to deal with from the previous marriage. 

 

So there's really no one way to do finances. It's just the biggest thing really is you sitting down together and coming into agreement on how you are going to manage the finances. If you make it a point that, at least once a month, you are going to have your time with your spouse where you're going to look at how you're going to do it and how you're going to manage it, that's what's going to allow you to be effective. And within that time, it's really just everything that has to do with organizing and planning your finances for the next month. So I like to usually do it in the beginning of the month, like right before the first, so a couple of days before the first of the month. And what do we do? We sit down, we have a spending plan, we're in agreement on the bills, because they're like sitting right in front of us, so we know how much money needs to come out the whole month. We know how much money comes in the whole month, we know how everything is going to get paid. 

 

And then we sit down and we talk about all the extra nuances and we look at the calendar Okay, what's going, what's coming up? April is a big month for us, honey, because there we have two kids' birthdays, we have a wedding that we got invited to, the church is having a huge fundraiser and we agreed to make a financial commitment for that. So there's a lot of extra expenses within that month that weren't part of last month or the month before that. 

 

So sitting down and being able to have that conversation with your spouse and then coming to agreement on how that's going to get paid or what can get done or what can't get done, is going to allow you to get ahead of it and allow you to move forward in it. This is also an amazing time to really talk about long-term things. One of our biggest issues when it comes to our finances sometimes is the emergency. Many emergencies are truly just emergencies. 

 

We would have never thought, we would have never known. It's just an emergency that happens. But there's other emergencies that we kind of know that they're going to happen. If you know that your dishwasher or your washer and dryer are 10, 15 years old and for your house that's a staple object because you have five kids and you just need it in order to be able to do laundry and do everything. It's going to get soon. 

You know that it's coming, so how awesome would it be to sit down with your spouse and say okay, honey, the goal for this year, the thing that we need to make sure that we have the money for, is the washer and dryer. So let's save up for the next six months or let's save up for the next year so that we have that money ready to go once the machine gives. So it's really sitting down, planning, coordinating and really be future focused with everything, with all the moving pieces within our finances.

Jen Rogers: 28:46

That's good. One recommendation for having this conversation is writing down the worst-case scenario. What is the worst case scenario that we're going to experience, to take the fear out of it? This is what I'm hearing with this monthly budget meeting to say, okay, let's look at what we have, let's look at what we know, and when we do put things down on paper, it really takes the fear out of it Again. It turns that emotion that you're feeling about that money situation into a fact on a sheet of paper. We have $15,000 in debt. Okay. Instead of spending time on all the emotions that are negative associated with that, we need to work on the plan together, and this is where I really appreciate you talking about long range planning and long range commitment, so that you know you are on the same team together financially, that you are effectively communicating, and I know that if you have success in your finances, you're going to have success in other key areas in your relationship as a couple and in your family.

Terry Peña: 29:49

Yeah, and the reality is that we probably wouldn't spend the money the same way. That's why our conversation is also important. Let's say we're sitting down and we're having our financial planning meeting and, for whatever good reason, we have $5,000 coming in extra. 

 

If you were to ask Hubby, most likely he's going to have a list of things that are important and that he says these are the three things that we should spend this money on. But most likely the wife is going to have three completely different things that she feels are important for the finances and for the household, because we all think of things and see things differently. So maybe not to be cliches, but this is just as an example. 

 

Right, maybe Hubby's is the house really needs this for repair and the wife is no, the kids need this. You know, because sometimes, because we're with the kids, we see more of the children's needs. No, they need clothes, they need braces, they need we need money for an activity for them. 

We're just looking at it from such a different perspective. 

 

Sitting down and coming together and making a plan for that extra money is key. If you wrote it down and if you already came into agreement, maybe you do two things on the husband's list and then you do two things on the wife's list and then you put two other things on the next one, or you pick one top thing from the wife's list and one top things from the husband's list. Like you know you, you come into agreement. I think that's the point of it. 

 

It's not to make financial decisions just on our own perspective, but really making that space for our spouse and honoring that they see the need to spend the money in a different way and being able to make space for each other and then making space for that other option, and sometimes that may be even one of us like, whether it's husband or wife being able to lay down that desire until the next month, because sometimes we just can't do it. All you know.

Bill Rogers: 31:48

Terry, we started talking about healing and how we get into difficulties financially, bringing different perspectives, and you also mentioned to us the importance, then, of bringing God into the process of your financial planning.

Terry Peña: 32:05

So bringing God in the process of our financial planning can be done in many ways.

Jen Rogers: 32:15

Are you curious to know one or more of those many ways? I am too, and I cannot wait to share them with you. 

 

Stick around and we'll talk about all those things and more, in part two of episode number 213. Hey, thanks for joining us today. If you are listening to this before release day, well, I'll remind you that you can click on the link in the show notes and you can get to part two right now. Yes, you can. You can totally get to part number two. Just scroll down, click on the link in the show notes to listen to part two. 

 

If you do nothing else, listen! This is your invitation to join us inside the VIP guest night in the Empowered Stepmom Academy. It is so good this is our second one. Last month it was so great to have Samantha Drum, an expert conflict management specialist, inside of there and we learned tons as a group. They'll be financial goodies for you to take away from our time together. 

 

On February 15th at 6pm central, click on the link in the show notes to sign up. You won't be disappointed. I promise you that there will be some special rewards to help you with your financial management plans when you sign up and come into our Empowerment VIP guest night inside of the Academy. I cannot wait to see you there. Click on the link in the show notes to register.

How healthy are your finances?
Why Financial Planning? From our Guest, Terry's point of view
Funding being a stay-at-home mom
Financial Imprinting - how your past impacts your present
Are you a SPENDER or a SAVER?
How to break the cycle of financials mistakes
Move over Dave Ramsey!
Empowered Stepmom Academy VIP Guest Night