My Parallel Life
My Parallel Life
Episode 1: Daniel, the Minute Long Marijuana Evangelist
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Daniel Jones has a rocky start at Easton High. He thinks if he petitions the faculty to start a newspaper, he can perhaps find some similar-minded new friends. Instead, he finds himself in an unlikely crew of misfits. And they may not even like him.
Written by Vera Greentea and Jasmine Brown. Co-produced with Mike Umile. Music by aBird. Art by Silvan Borer.
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Transcript of:
MY PARALLEL LIFE
SEASON 1, EPISODE 1
Daniel, the Minute Long Marijuana Evangelist
By Jasmine Brown and Vera Greentea
THEME MUSIC: PATAGONIA NIGHTS BY ABIRD
RECORDER CLICKS ON
SOUNDS OF CRINKLING CANDY WRAPPERS
AND PAPERS BEING SHUFFLED
DANIEL: Hi. I mean...welcome! My name is Daniel Jones and I’m 15 years old. I go to Paulson and-no, actually sorry. Starting tomorrow, I go to public school in Easton. I used to go to Paulson Prep. My sister thought-well she gave me this old school personal recorder. See, at Paulson, I was this big deal for starting a school paper and I guess Abby thought that while she gets to escape the fact that our parents ruined every memory of our childhood by getting a sudden divorce...or separation, whatever, uh… just because she's in college on a scholarship already, I’m supposed to just be happy to think of this new shitty life as "a challenge to hone my reporter skills". I guess in her mind I’m still a five-year-old in a trench coat pretending to talk into an eraser but I mean... docudiaries are a thing, I think. So I’m trying to make the best of it and… describe. Report.
Sorry. Too subjective. Um, yes, the facts. My parents are divorcing, my sister is a freshman in college. I used to live in a nice house and went to private school, but now. (SIGH) Now I live with my dad in this… lower income area, shall we say... and objectively it's not great. We live in an apartment. A tiny apartment. And this school... they have like nothing... like a football team and that’s it. They’re not even good.
It just seems… wasteful to take me out of a school that I worked so hard get into, and distinguished myself academically and extracurricularly year after year. Even socially there was… I..I had standing. I had friends! Why should I have to throw that all away for an environment I’m obviously not suited for?
I know, everyone would say I need to give it a shot. Whatever. We'll see what happens tomorrow.
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
RECORDER CLICKS ON
WE HEAR STUDENTS SHUFFLING AND GIGGLING
MR. GORDON: So, we’re three chapters into A Tale of Two Cities now, guys. At least I hope we all are. Does anyone want to share their thoughts on Dickens’ use of language? Janice?
DANIEL: (INTO THE RECORDER) That he was paid by the word. MR. GORDON: Something to share, Daniel?
DANIEL: Uh
STUDENT: (COUGHING) Loser!
MR. GORDON: What is that? Is that some kind of device? This is unacc--
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
RECORDER CLICKS ON
SOUNDS OF TRAFFIC THROUGHOUT
DANIEL: Hi. This is Daniel reporting on my way to school THREE DAYS LATER THAN ANTICIPATED because my freedom of press was basically violated.
TYRONE: It wasn't.
DANIEL: Dad! I'm recording! As I was saying- my freedom of press was basically violated because there is no student run newspaper, radio or tv station in my new school and the principal says that there was never significant interest in those areas but without the press to investigate, how am I to believe her? Especially since he confiscated my recorder, even after I explained that it was a gift from MY SISTER and only gave it back if I promised to only record during "approved student breaks" in "approved student areas.”
TYRONE: Yeah, sounds like school...
DANIEL: DAD! I said--
PATAGONIA NIGHTS IN THE BACKGROUND
DANIEL: Whoa, wait a m- hold on… wha-what was that?
TYRONE: What?
DANIEL: That...door…
TYRONE: There are a lot of doors, Daniel. It's a busy street.
DANIEL: No... it was… it-it just- it looked different from everything else on this ghetto alley street... you didn't see it?
TYRONE: I'm driving. And don’t say ghetto, son. It’s not a nice word.
DANIEL: Okay, okay, okay. But that door it-it -al-almost looked like… a painting or something but... more than that somehow?
PATAGONIA NIGHTS FADES
Sorry, uh, let me try to...it’s like, a black hinged door rising out of a garbage heap, but the garbage is real and this is like a...a painting in an art gallery for goth people?
TYRONE: A lot of street art around here.
DANIEL: Yeah. Graffiti. And like, cool, the cops aren’t messing with people for that, I guess. But that door wasn’t like that. It doesn’t fit. It’s more...refined, skillful...less ugly.
TYRONE: Come on, Daniel. You're being a snob.
DANIEL: Yeah? You think this neighborhood is great? Then why don’t you let me get a bus pass and take myself to school?
TYRONE: Well, actually here’s your chance. I finally did get you one. You’re taking yourself home after school.
DANIEL: Thanks, Dad.
CAR DOOR OPENING
TYRONE: Don’t forget your Mom wants you to call and talk to you about your first week of school!
DANIEL: Like I want to talk to her. Oh, I should turn this thing off before--
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
RECORDER CLICKS ON
DANIEL: Hello, dear listener. It is now the sacred “free period”, where all of us assumed criminals are given 45 minutes where we are allowed the generous gift of a choice in activity, as long as it is visiting the library, practicing for the football team or grabbing one of two kinds of chips in the vending machine. Oh, and we’re allowed to operate electronic devices that we legally own. Where does the distrust come from? Why target recording devices? Isn’t it, that like, a disabilities thing? Note: look up “disabilities thing”. It-it it just seems like they don’t want to deal with us doing anything that might challenge the norm and improve our sense of joy and maybe force them to engage with us a little more. No wonder this school is rated so low- I don’t even blame the students for that anymore.
It’s - it’s the faculty. Nobody has an outlet and - and the teachers do nothing to support them...to support us. They just take it for granted that nobody gives a shit, that we all conform to these outdated rules, this...this loserdom... is... that even a word?
MR. GORDON: Afternoon, Daniel. Not causing any more distractions, I hope.
DANIEL: Oh, no, Mr. Gordon, I… thanks again for letting me have my tape recorder back.
MR. GORDON: It’s fine. I - I think we were all just a little thrown off. We’ve had some students use recording devices if they couldn’t take notes.
DANIEL: I knew it! I mean, uh, uh, uh, thank you, sir, but uh, with me it’s more than that...see at Paulson Prep...I used to go to Paulson Prep, you see...anyway at Paulson I was on the school newspaper. I actually helped found it. Student run clubs were encouraged. Student enthusiasm was… harnessed, you know? I was hoping to keep that up here. The paper, I mean. Clubs in general too, though. I know they help a lot with college. I didn’t mean to disturb anyone. I just like to record. For the reporter thing. I find I get more information this way if I can listen back. And my sister gave it to me. She’s in college. It’s vintage.
MR. GORDON: I understand. I do. Unfortunately, we don’t have a paper at Easton at this time.
DANIEL: I know, sir. That’s what Principal Lang said.
MR. GORDON: ... you really care about this, huh? Well... how about getting some other students on board for a start? I think that would go a long way. I’ll... I’ll talk to Principal Lang a little bit more about your record. I know someone at Paulson. That might make a difference.
DANIEL: You really think so?
MR. GORDON: I’m not- I can’t promise you anything but if you put in the work, I’d be willing to voice my support. You’re going to need a faculty advisor, after all.
DANIEL: That would be awesome! I- I mean...just, I mean, I really appreciate it. I won’t let you down!
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
RECORDER CLICKS ON
BIRDS CHIRPING
DANIEL: So, um, it’s lunchtime, but the cafeteria was too loud to record so I’m outside now, in the beautiful smog filled air, and I’m on a date with a grilled cheese sandwich… which isn’t really newspaper worthy… I don’t know why I turned this thing on. Um, maybe I shouldn’t be seen talking to myself like this, leaning on the wall like a--
KATIE: (FAR AWAY) Hey, why don’t you come over here?
DANIEL: Oh shit, there are people here. Well, maybe I can… oh, no it’s the girl who sits in the back of my English class that’s waving me over. She’s nice and all. But I have nothing in common with her or those weird guys always standing behind her. But I don’t know anyone else. And I - I need to show Mr. Gordon that there is some student support for—
KATIE: Are you coming or are you going to talk into your hand like some sort of psycho?
DANIEL: I’m coming! Hey, thanks for inviting me over. Uh, I’m Daniel Jones.
KATIE: Katie. And that’s Jorge in the stupid shirt and Porter with some retro shit in his face.
PORTER: It’s called a Game Boy. And my eyesight is shit so I have to keep it close to my face to see, as you well know.
JORGE: Your eyes are bad because of those things, man.
PORTER: Okay, fine, I’m - I’m done anyway. Wait, who’s this? KATIE: Wow, Porter, spacey much? We’ve met this kid like three times already. PORTER: Well, excuuuuse me.
DANIEL: Hey, no, it’s… it’s fine. There are a lot of people. Thanks again for, uh directions on um, Monday I guess... You really saved my butt. This place is a lot bigger than Paulson Prep.
PORTER: Yeah, that’s the thing with public schools. Have to fit everyone who can’t pay to get out of going.
DANIEL: Oh, wow. Right off the- uh, can I record you on the record for our potential school paper? I think you have an...articulate-- I mean, uh, alternative perspective that needs to be heard.
PORTER: Um. What?
DANIEL: It’s like I was saying, this school is huge, but there aren’t many extracurricular options. And as I was alluding to, I’m trying to start a paper. I co-founded the one at Paulson. And I wanted to know what you guys would be interested in. What do you wish you could be doing during periods such as this one?
KATIE: You really know how to harsh a buzz, man. You sound like… class.
DANIEL: Sorry, I-I don’t mean to be irksome, but it’s a serious question. I think extracurricular activities could genuinely um, like boost morale.
SOUND OF EATING CHIPS
JORGE: I know we have a football team but yeah.
SOUND OF EATING CHIPS PAUSES
JORGE: I was on that team for two days. It sucked. You have to run.
SOUND OF EATING CHIPS RESUMES
KATIE: Yeah, I don’t think I’m like… a club girl at this point in my life. You picked the wrong crowd for this...is this an interview?
DANIEL: I know it’s easy to get into a routine, but I’m just...at Paulson, there were tons of options.
SOUND OF EATING CHIPS ENDS
DANIEL: Newspaper, drama, anime club
PORTER: Anime club? Seriously, dude, you don’t get it. Even if there was every lame club on the planet we’d be doing nothing. Just like we are now. Like you could be too if you took it down like thirty notches. Katie invited you to hang with us. But no one cares about any of this. And no one cares that you went to fancy ass Paulson Prep, so you can stop mentioning that.
AN INHALE WHICH TURNS INTO A COUGH
KATIE: Porter! Be nice or no more for you.
PORTER: Please. Jorge’s been hogging it the whole time.
JORGE INHALING AGAIN
JORGE: Yuuup.
KATIE: (GIGGLES) Oh man, I didn’t even think to...Daniel, you want a hit?
DANIEL: NO! I mean uhhhh, cool that you guys are...did you know that at Paul--my paper published this anonymous Op Ed about the legalization of
Marijuana? And the kid didn’t get in any trouble or anything because we were encouraged to express political thought.
PORTER: Dude. What. Is. Your. Problem. Are you, like, a cop? DANIEL: Noooo, I’m… a… reporter.
PORTER: You’re in tenth grade. You’re not anything except maybe like... Principal Lang’s narc. Are you recording us for her or something?
KATIE: Porter…
PORTER: What, Katie? You want a recording of us doing drugs out there just because you felt like being nice to the new kid?
DANIEL: I wasn’t recording, I swear. You never...you never said yes so I never hit play.
KATIE: See?
PORTER: OK... sorry. Just... don’t have to lay it on so thick. It’s... unnerving. Relax. Be like… Jorge.
JORGE: Yo.
THE BELL RINGS
DANIEL: Uh, oh, damn, we’re late!
PORTER: Dude, that’s what I-none of us care. We’ll get to class when we get there. I don’t mean to be mean but like, that’s - that’s how it is.
DANIEL: Right.
KATIE: Good luck on your- uh... podcast?!
JORGE: (QUIETLY) Newspaper.
KATIE: Newspaper!
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
SOUND OF IPHONE RINGING
SOUND OF DANIEL ON A PUBLIC BUS
LOLA: Danny! How’s the other side of the universe?
DANIEL: Shitty. Lo, there are no extracurriculars in this school. The whole program is bereft. I literally just tried to start a newspaper like we did, and the staff treated me like I was some kind of buzzing gnat that they wanted to swat away...
LOLA: I mean, you do buzz a lot.
DANIEL: L-Lola! Have some sympathy! I am in a cultural desert! LOLA: Jesus, Danny. You’re an hour away. It can’t be that bad.
DANIEL: It seems farther. So, did you talk to your parents about coming up this weekend?
LOLA: Yeah, I did. My mom has a baby shower so she can’t drive me. I’m sorry.
DANIEL: Aw, man. That sucks. I swear. It’s been two weeks and I feel like the kids here are - are so aggressive and… I know it sounds mean, but just…they’re just so… you know. They don’t care about the same stuff I do. We do.
LOLA: Well, most people aren’t as brilliant and beautiful as me. But you have to make do with what you’re working with.
DANIEL: Ha ha. (PAUSE) No, I know you’re right. You’re my best friend. Obviously, I’m not going to relate to these new kids the same way I do to you it’s just...everything. The school, the kids, the neighborhood, this shitty little apartment, my dad…
LOLA: I know, Danny.
DANIEL: They’re being so weird, you know? He’s like… he wants me to call my mom. And she left. And he’s not like dating, or anything I… I think.
But they’re… it’s so gross. And even Abby... she’s acting like this is all so normal. It’s not normal. And why couldn’t we at least keep the house?
Like I know, I know, they don’t have the same kind of money now that’s she’s not at the hospital but just...oh, it just sucks, you know? It’s like, no one considered me at all in this.
LOLA: Parents suck. No matter what. But hey, you have me.
DANIEL: Yeah. Man, I can’t wait till you take your road test. I wish we didn’t have to wait six months to take mine. Not that the suddenly poor Jones family will get me a car or anything. But still. It’ll be easier I guess. And I still have you to drive me around.
LOLA: ...yeah. (PAUSE) So, um, I wanted to tell you about some stuff at school. You know Julia, with the blue hair? Well, she started submitting this stuff to the paper. Movie reviews. But they’re so like...asinine. Structureless.
And the worst part is Ms. Fleming is making me print them! Ugh, and yesterday she came up to me with this, this look on her face that was like ugh--
DANIEL: Hey, Lo, I don’t mean to cut you off but…
A FEW NOTES FROM PATAGONIA NIGHTS
DANIEL: there’s that door again… I have to get off the bus, Lo, I need to check this out, I... I’ll talk-- Hey! Stop the bus!
BUS DRIVER: (BACKGROUND) Next time just press the STOP button, kid. There’s one by every pair of seats.
DANIEL: Sorry, next time I will, promise! I just want to see that weird door-- LOLA: Wait, what? Dude, I just started talking about my shit. What door--
PHONE CLICKS OFF
RECORDER CLICKS ON
STREET SOUNDS
DANIEL: What… oh, yeah, I might as well speak into the recorder for this. This is why Abs got this for me after all - to record newsworthy items.
(CLEARING THROAT) I’m on Oxen Avenue and 15th Street and there’s this… like, magnificent? Door art. Like, everything here looks like shit.
It’s a warehouse I guess with crumbled gray brick and some art all over it, but like art in quotes. Like it’s really just people writing their gang names in illegible spray can. And then there’s this thing in the middle, like someone drew a door from a movie about vampires. It’s really… elaborate and the frame is painted blue...it looks real. How do I say this without sounding like a dork? I don’t know those uh... weed kids... really got into my head, I guess. I don’t know. I’m standing right in front of it now and it’s really tall. Like for an eleven foot human. Or...not human? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Oh god. There’s a little mark next to it, maybe it’s the tag of the artist? It sort of looks like a little rosebud with leaves on top and bottom of it. Right, no, even I know how I sound...but the door just looks so real. If I didn’t know any better I would think if you touched the doorknob it would like...legit open. Okay, okay know what? I might delete this later cause I know nothing’s gonna happen. But yeah, I’m gonna do it!
SOUNDS OF DOOR OPENING
SOUNDS IN THE DISTANCE, CONTINUOUS.
SOUNDS OF BREATHING COMING FROM INSIDE THE TUNNEL
DANIEL: And… what the actual fuck? Look, I don’t know if I am expressing...this this is not a normal warehouse door. This is not...it- it doesn’t belong here. It belongs to maybe Buckingham Palace, but like in a version of reality where like… the royal family is black eyeliner kind of emo. It’s not.. right here. This- this isn’t it’s place.
ELEANOR: (DISTANT) Danny boy?
DANIEL: Is… someone there?
ELEANOR: (DISTANT) Danny boy, are you already back from school? I spent all morning baking for Abby’s care package, want to lick the bowl? Remember, you can only have two cookies when they come out, the rest are for her.
DANIEL: What… Mom? Are you in the wareho--
AN IPHONE RINGING
HE PICKS UP
...hello?
ELEANOR: Hey Danny boy, I just landed in Quito last night. Did you get my text? Idon’t know if they’re going through. I was hoping you were going to...well, anyway. I’m just so happy to hear your voice. Looks like--
A EERIE, SPARSE VERSION OF PATAGONIA
NIGHTS PLAYS
DANIEL: ...Mom, huh? You’re - you’re in Quito already?
ELEANOR: Yes, it’s me, hon. Is the sound bad? They aren’t really wired up for great cell service in Ecuador, so it’s gonna to be a bit rough for a while, but we’ll do the best with what we have--
SOUNDS OF THE CALL DROPPING
DANIEL: Mom?????
ELEANOR: (DISTANT) Hey, there, Danny Boy! What are you still doing out there? I can barely hear you. You know I only have a few hours until my shift.
MUSIC ENDS
SOUND OF DOOR BEING SHUT
DANIEL: (HEAVY BREATHING) What… WHAT? I have to...this can’t be...I gotta...I’m gonna...I have to
RECORDER CLICKS OFF
MAIN THEME/PATAGONIA NIGHTS PLAYS
TIM: My Parallel Life is written and produced by Vera Greentea and Jasmine Brown. The audio for this podcast is recorded and mixed by Mike Umile. Music is created and performed by aBIRD. My Parallel Life stars LC Witter, Julian Thomas, Shiree Nicholas Christopher, Steph Marie Alvarez, Louis Walker, Jayme Face, Timothy Rodriguez, Rajiv Miller, Siera Louis Gene and Jasmine Brown. Website and credits are by Timothy Rodriguez. To learn more about My Parallel Life and the fantastic crew of people who make it, visit our website: jumpycatstudios.com. If you’d like to help us spread the word, please give us a five star review and tell your friendsto subscribe at any major podcast platform. This episode’s a wrap, see you in another dimension!