Igniting Your Spark: A Journey of Self-Discovery with Mariya Shiyko -Through Academia, Spirituality, and Financial Empowerment

Embark on an enlightening exploration of life's rich tapestry with the remarkable Mariya Shiyko P.H.D.,  a true virtuoso of life's symphony. From the snowy landscapes of Russia to the bustling energy of academia, Mariya's story is a tribute to those who seek harmony between knowledge and passion. As your host Kim Duff Selby, I'm eager to share how Maria weaves her extensive academic prowess, a PhD in quantitative psychology, and her love for the arts into a daily practice that keeps her alight and centered. Her narrative is an invitation to ignite your own spark, reminding us of the power in acknowledging our achievements and the practices that ground us amidst the chaos of everyday life.

Prepare to be inspired by Dr. Mariya Shiyko's courageous transition from a decorated academic career into the realm of personal growth and alternative healing. Battling the shadows of depression and anxiety behind a façade of scholarly success, Mariya's story is a beacon for anyone struggling to find their inner peace. In our heart-to-heart, we uncover the therapeutic power of yoga, meditation, and metaphysical studies, revealing the profound impact of fusing an analytical mind with the wisdom of spirituality. Her transformative journey champions the art of self-discovery, embracing an evolving identity, and the rich tapestry of life's educational experiences.

Finally, Mariya's captivating evolution continues as she decodes the alchemy between money mindset and personal transformation. Together, we journey through her bold decision to step away from her academic roots, birthing a business that delves into the intricate relationship between financial stability and self-development. Through stories of coaching clients to unravel the threads of self-worth and people-pleasing, we see the universal challenge of aligning our fiscal realities with our deepest personal truths. Embrace the courage to chase your dreams against societal tides, as Mariya illuminates the path to trust, self-acceptance, and the infinite power of continuous learning.

Find Mariya Here:
https://www.mariyashiyko.love/blog

Kim:
https://www.kimduffselby.com/

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome back, sparklers, to another episode of Ignite your Spark. I'm your host, Kim Duff Selby. Thank you for joining me once again as I shine a spotlight on those out in the universe who are here right here, right now, to awaken something inside of you so that you can access your own light, find that joy, that authentic you that you know is hiding inside there. I really hope that you learn something to help you ignite your light, shine your light so that you can share it with others, because my goal and my purpose with the podcast is not about me. It's about you and igniting your spark so that you can share it with others, so that they can share their light. Thanks for listening.

Speaker 1: 0:59

Today, my guest is Maria Shiko, and Maria is a really accomplished human being who has done a lot, and she's very young still so, but she's done a lot, and I just want to tell you a few things that she has done, and I didn't realize this until I looked at her extensive sort of bio resume and that she studied classical piano and she has a master's in pedagogy, history and law, and she is Russian, so she did this in Russia. Then she has her PhD in quantitative psychology. She has her post doc in statistics and health psychology. That was Penn State, the other was New York, cuny, new York. She was in academia as an assistant and associate professor in applied statistics, mindfulness and behavior change. It's just amazing.

Speaker 1: 2:03

And then, as you go down her resume, she studied for seven years improvisational movement and dance. She became sort of a yoga instructor, I assume. She studied that and taught it for seven years and she's done meditation retreats. She's a singer. She has worked on energy healing. I'm sorry, but she has truly gifted and I'm blown away. I'm blown away. Welcome, maria. There's more, but I think people get the idea that you are very accomplished. Thank you for joining me here.

Speaker 2: 2:38

Hi Kim. Thank you so much for having me. My honor and pleasure it's amazing.

Speaker 1: 2:43

When someone reads what you have accomplished back to you, don't you kind of go, wow, I really have done a lot and I didn't even say everything in what you're doing now.

Speaker 2: 2:56

It's fascinating. Especially, I think I should read my resume back to me, especially on the hard days, you know, when I'm like don't know what I'm doing at all, and then I need to read back to myself to feel better.

Speaker 1: 3:11

I think that's a great suggestion. I've often given people to keep a little file too, not just of what you've accomplished, but notes. People have written you thank you notes or you were so great at this, you were wonderful at that, and I'm sure throughout your life you've had many of those to look at when you've had sort of a down day or you're not feeling your spark. And speaking of sparks, I'd like to ask my guests how do you ignite your spark?

Speaker 2: 3:36

The great question. I think it's the daily practice for me. I wake up, I move right away. I as much as I can. I either do yoga or dance or some kind of movement. I need to get into my body so I don't feel stiff and I can feel through all kinds of emotions that are in the way. And then I meditate and I try in that meditation to remind myself who I am, so I'm not lost in day-to-day thoughts and stress, and this is how I ignite my spark in the morning. And then there are practices throughout the day that I engage in as well.

Speaker 1: 4:17

Yeah, that's important because it's not just a one-time thing. We need to constantly reignite. I go outside and breathe the fresh air and get some sunshine if I can do that, because I need it and I feel so much better when I do that, but anyway, well, all right. So I'm going to read your little sentence about what you do now, and from your website, it says that your goal is to help us people realize our highest potential in love, life and work, and I'm curious as how you got there. From growing up in Russia and studying classical piano, did you think you wanted to be a pianist, or was this something that your parents decided you wanted to do?

Speaker 2: 5:03

I did not think that I want to be a pianist at all, and I think it was part of the upbringing in Russia, which I'm very grateful for, because it was very multifaceted and multi-passionate. So while, for example, you could focus on math, but it was presumed that you would also do sports and you would also do arts. And at that time when I was born and raised, it was still the Soviet Union, so a lot of the educational system was mandated by the government and at that time the idea was that you need to be somewhat good at different areas of your life, and arts or music or painting or singing or sports pretty much everybody did that, so I was a part of what was common at the time.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Yeah, actually I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily to dabble in a lot of things. It's actually better than a lot of cultures that say no, you are going to be a doctor, this this, this and do this, this, this. It seems a little bit more well-rounded to have that. But what took you on your path? So did you just follow a path? So you, it says you studied classical piano at a music school, but then you went on to get a master's degree and what was that like that? You transitioned. Did you still play the piano? I mean, I know you've gone into, you dance and you sing and you do all of the creative things. You clearly have the right and left brain very well balanced is what it appears to me. Did you follow an academic path because you felt you were expected, or were you really drawn to that?

Speaker 2: 6:52

So I feel there are different aspects of my life. So when I was in Russia, for example, I decided I chose to study history and law and pedagogy, so it was something. I was very fortunate to go to high school. That was very good and I had a teacher at the time at my high school who really made a huge difference in my life and he was a history teacher. So the way he saw us and the way he saw history was very humane. So he was probably the first person in my life that I have encountered who treated me as a human being and understood that I have emotions, that I have preferences, and so he did not necessarily treat me or other kids as in a very kind of top-down, authoritarian way, but he was more open and willing to understand us and the way he showed history to us was very unique. I have not met so many teachers the way he was. He's fantastic and I'm still so grateful because in high school he was my high school teacher.

Speaker 2: 8:06

He taught us how to actually understand what we read in books. So even though I knew how to read before, but it was more wrote reading or learning, and he was sitting with us, I remember I was in eighth grade and he would sit with us and read a textbook and he would ask us what does this sentence mean? So it was not just kind of taking the information going in through one ear and coming out of the other, but he was teaching us how to understand information. And I think it was just a fantastic skill that I have taken for the rest of my life of somebody actually sitting down with me and it was the process of slowing down and the focus was not necessarily on learning as much as possible but making sure that we are able to process information. And then he also humanized all the historical figures and characters, so we would have acting, so we would role play, you know, with different historic figures and imagine there was a lot of imagination involved.

Speaker 2: 9:09

And he was also a very unusual person because at the time when I was in high school it was just at the cusp of the Soviet Union collapsing and he was showing to us some of the videos and musical videos that were kind of portraying and shining light, talking about the spark and the light. He was shining light on kind of the general mentality of how politics works and showing to us how people get brainwashed and even though I've never thought about my teacher, my history teacher is like an awakened person until just, you know, when I started studying spirituality. But in many ways he was a very awakened being because at the time he was a very, very unusual teacher and I'm, and that's why I chose history because it was because of him.

Speaker 1: 10:08

It's amazing what teachers can do, how they can influence us so greatly because our minds are so malleable. And it is interesting and I try not to make this about me, but I have to bring this up because my history teacher in high school also was very similar and we were studying Russian history and we read, instead of reading a text. We'd had the textbook, we read Nicholas and Alexandra, the book and then we saw the movie because the movie had just come out. So he also really brought it to life to us. It was European history, so it wasn't current what was happening.

Speaker 1: 10:45

And although I'm older than you, I was learning about Russia in a way that I've never ever learned about any other time in history or part of history, because I did not pursue history, even though I did love this teacher, it didn't make me love it enough to pursue it. But I think in Russia, our idea of Russia, that's very unique that you had a teacher who really gave you the opportunity to really expand your mind and that is clearly what has influenced you, to really keep expanding your mind. Then you go and get a PhD in statistics and health psychology. So it's interesting we're seeing some cues Psychology, the person, as to where you are now. You really care about the development of people, but whoa, I prompted that.

Speaker 2: 11:43

It was a little bit of not a straightforward process, because when I came to the US I was very lost and I did not know what to pursue professionally. Because I had degrees to be a teacher like, for example, a high school teacher but at the same time I didn't necessarily have the context or the experience of the culture. And so the decision that I made at the time that if I were to go to work as a teacher in high school in New York I would probably be trashed, it would be just a very horrible experience, given that my language was very, my language skills were very poor and I didn't have any context. So it would be a very unpleasant experience, let's put it this way. And so the choices came about what can I pursue given my education? Because I was way interested in the time. I was basically like working in a furniture store and though those were very entry level jobs and I needed to think about how can I apply myself given the skills I have and the education I had. So after I was able to translate and transfer some of my education from Russia.

Speaker 2: 12:55

But it's different, you know, because the standards are a little bit different. I mean, the journey was kind of strange because I applied to law school but then I didn't have the money to pay for it. Then I thought maybe I should go to, you know, to clinical psychology path, because I had psychology classes in the context of education. And then I ended up on this intersection between psychology and research statistics, because I went and I took a few undergraduate courses which I were missing from Russian education and those were statistics and research methods and like among 50 or 60 students like I basically got 100% on all tests.

Speaker 2: 13:44

And again, it was because of my Russian education. We were given such good mathematics foundations that even the college level things were relatively easy for me and because of that okay, that was easy. Maybe I should pursue something that is like an intersection between mathematics and statistics and I was grateful. I think at the time it felt rather erratic, like almost like a pivot in the opposite direction. But I think what was curious for me at the time is that when I was studying I studied a lot of liberal arts and history and languages and literature and those were very much open to interpretation, so to speak, and not quite objective, and at the time I thought that the sciences were objective. That's what I thought at the time, and so I found some release and relief in kind of falling into this black and white, thinking like, okay, this is right, this is wrong. It just gave me this sense of stability and control.

Speaker 1: 14:55

At the time I needed that at that time in your life. Yes, are you seeing? All right. So then you worked as a professor and you worked. Let's see Northeastern University and you have all the stuff that everybody in academia you know, the being published and all of that. What was the pivotal moment then that took you into the whole mindfulness journey? Were you burned out? Was it just something that you thought I'm done with this and obviously black and white was not working for you anymore?

Speaker 2: 15:34

No, I think it was a very gradual process because when I was doing my postdoctoral, I worked so hard to get my PhD and I was working towards this goal where I would get a good job and I would get a good pay, and I remember having this title, you know, dr Maria Shea-Cole on my door and there was such a big mismatch between the titles and the position and the salary and how I felt inside and I felt pretty unhappy. I felt very, very unhappy and so, little by little, I was just noticing this dichotomy between achieving certain societal kind of highlights and expectations and things that many people strive for, and there was a big disparity between that and how I felt. And I was struggling with depression, I struggled with anxiety. I mean, I, to be quite honest, I don't think I could have articulated those things at the time. I just generically thought that I'm not feeling well and I'm not happy, but I couldn't necessarily pinpoint why or even say, describe all those little symptoms that I was experiencing.

Speaker 2: 16:48

And because of that, to help myself feel better, I started exploring different things to help myself and I tried going into the more traditional route, which is psychology, and whenever I talk to a psychologist, it never helped me. It helps to some people, and I'm not kind of denying it, but for me personally it did not help at all. And so I had to go more and more into the alternative ways of self discovery. I started with yoga and meditation. I remember at that time I started meditating and had my first meditation teacher, and he helped me quite a bit substantially. And then, little by little, I was just following through. It was not intentionally, it was not you know, I didn't have like a logical explanation of why I'm doing all of this, but I was just going one thing after another following my curiosity, in the desire of help myself.

Speaker 1: 17:44

Well, that's, I think, how so many people land in, I want to say, the metaphysical space, how we are guided there. And clearly you were guided there for this ultimate purpose and I'm sure correct me if I'm wrong but that all of your training and all that you have learned, and the way you have learned and studies has assisted you to become the I'm going to call you a healer, because you do work with people and heal their souls and heal certain parts of them. I'm sure that everything that you had came together to this moment to bring you where you are.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Yes, I think, looking back, there is some logic. I think I'm still not seeing the full picture. It's still unfolding and developing and I have to say that on my journey, I think some of the training because I was so much in my mind, so much in my head I felt like it was hindering me, because there were points where I hated my mind, because I had so little control of it and I could not necessarily overcome in the past and it's just even like this month I'm noticing such a huge difference in dropping more into trusting, even on a deeper level. But because of the way my mind works, even after having experienced amazing and miraculous transformations and just witnessed such wonderful things in my life, my mind would still get online and like why?

Speaker 2: 19:29

No question doubt and have fears that were coming from the conditioning in the past, and so I feel it's been on some level. It added a lot of benefit because I bring different aspects. I have the art perspective, I have the sciences perspective and the numbers perspective, like mathematical perspective, and the research perspective and the psychology, like mainstream psychology perspective. To a degree there is benefit in that, but for me as a human being, I find that it took me so much undoing and releasing this conditioning to connect all the dots so that at least I myself can kind of land in the place where things are making sense.

Speaker 1: 20:16

I appreciate your vulnerability and your authenticity, because we are always evolving. And those people who profess to be an expert, in whatever field it is, whether it is in the alternative healing modalities or in something more grounded in science I don't want to say they're lying, but they're not honest like you, just worry. You said you're always changing and you say your business changes over time, and I think that the fact that you embrace that and work with that is beautiful. It's part of your gift. I don't want to work with someone who thinks they're perfect. I want to work with someone who's like well, I don't have it all figured out, but I keep learning, I keep trying this. I prefer that. To me, that is raw and real and authentic.

Speaker 2: 21:08

I appreciate that. I appreciate it. Sometimes there are days I'm like I have figured it all out and five minutes later I say that, five minutes later the whole thing just falls apart to keep you in reality.

Speaker 1: 21:26

Just, girl, you do not have it all figured out, but it's really cool because you've got a master's in metaphysics, spiritual studies and alternative healing too. That was recent. That's like my dream. I'm like you're never too old. You're never too old. I really did. You do it online, or did you?

Speaker 2: 21:43

No, in person. In person, each degree or each education has its own journey, but I feel that, with the metaphysics, it took me seven or almost eight years to complete the master's and I was going in person. It's not something that you would read a book and you kind of memorize, because it's very applied. It's practice-based and experience-based. And so I feel I'm glad that it's been taking me a while to complete the master's, because every class I took I was practicing and integrating and applying and I could see how my life and my world is shifting and has been shifting through this process. And it's probably been one of the most transformative experiences, because everything that was black and white before was completely the colors switched and now they became multifaceted and there were times where I was thinking, ok, you're losing your mind, but then I was finding it again.

Speaker 1: 22:47

What came to me was what's it called? You look through it and it's a.

Speaker 2: 22:52

Kaleidoscope.

Speaker 1: 22:53

Yeah, it's like your brain and your life went from an old black and white TV to a kaleidoscope of colors bursting everywhere. Those were just the visions that came to me as you were speaking. I kind of embrace that. I think you should wear that, because a kaleidoscope is beautiful. People love.

Speaker 1: 23:14

Oh my gosh, speaking of kaleidoscopes, it reminds me of my brain, sometimes that swirls and whirls, and not necessarily in the best way, because I have such a hard time focusing. It goes in all sorts of directions and I really have been looking for something to help me focus without you know, like drugs. So I found this little shot drink I take every morning called Magic Mind, and I'm not talking about a shot of alcohol, it's a shot of all good stuff, because I really try only to put good, all-natural things in my body. And once I read the ingredients on it I was sold. It has matcha, it has a bunch of neurotropics and I didn't know about them before. But there's one called Bacopa Monieri I think I pronounced it incorrectly, but it improves your attention span, increases and improves your memory. It's got ashwagandha, it's got lion's mane mushrooms and cordyceps mushrooms, and those are neurotropics as well and endaptogens. And lion's mane reduces anxiety and inflammation and I have a lot of inflammation in my body and I love that and the cordyceps does the same thing but also helps strengthen your immune system, which we all need, and supports higher energy levels, and I love it. It actually tastes great. Don't be put off by the mushrooms in it.

Speaker 1: 24:32

But now that I've been taking it for about a month or so, I can edit my podcasts in one sitting and not get all squirrely. I used to have to check my phone. I just had to get up. I couldn't do it all, and now I can. So it's helped me be more productive and more focused and I'm just so grateful that I found MagicMind and I've been recommending it to all my friends and family members. And even if you don't think you have a need to increase your attention, trust me you do. The ingredients in it improve your attention, your concentration, your cognition. It's so awesome.

Speaker 1: 25:08

And the great thing is that this January only through the end of this month you can get fully focused, because you can get one month for free when you're subscribing for three months, and I will put the link show notes, but it's wwwmagicmindcom. J-a-n. Ignite your spark and then, if you put in my code, ignite 20, it's an extra 20% off, which gets you to 75% off. So it's only until the end of January, so hurry up before it goes away. I really, really love it and I would not promote something I totally would not promote something if I didn't believe in it. So check out MagicMind. It's a great offer because you get up to 56% off your first subscription in the next 10 days and 20% off your one-time purchase with Ignite 20. It's only going to last 10 days from our episode airing date. So please do it. I just love it. I love being focused and I think you will be too.

Speaker 1: 26:19

The collided scope has such a great visual, so I think it's great you're in that space now and since you're in that space now, let's talk about what you're doing now. I mean because it's going to, I know, in a few months something else is going to come up. I'm bet we're recording this in November for those of you listening, and you won't be listening until January, but you are offering this course. That, I think, sounds great. I don't know if you'll offer one again, because we all have money issues Well, maybe not everybody. By saying that, I should just say I don't have any money issues. Boom, it's done. But tell us about how you have taken that kaleidoscopic life and what you have expanded into doing now.

Speaker 2: 27:03

When I started my own business, when I left academia, I realized that I was actually guided because I was at the same. At the time I was in my metaphysics school and I would meditate and always get these messages you have to study money. And I couldn't quite understand because it was not necessarily my passion, but I would repeatedly receive messages study business, study money. And so I did. I pursued that and I have taken many courses. Some of them were more business oriented and business courses that did not have any metaphysics as a part of them, and some of them were also courses that kind of shine the light on the inner world and the inner landscape of how we think about money and how we relate to money.

Speaker 2: 27:54

And so, through the process of studies, I also wrote a book, which is my brilliant money book for joyful and creative living, where I started unpacking our relationship with money and how they're primarily fear-based rather than joy-based or love-based. And the guys were always telling me it doesn't need to be like this, it should not be like this. And so I had to, little by little, start unpacking my own relationship with money and how I relate with money, how I make the choices, and I started seeing the shift in my life, in my professional life, because I was very burned out before and I had this attitude towards my work that it's duty or it's there. It was more external based rather than internal, like okay, what do people think, how do people appreciate what you do? And now it's more internal based and intuition based, and it has taken me some time to get to this place and I thought that I would be a good guide for others who want to embark on this journey as well.

Speaker 1: 29:00

Yeah, but do you work one on one with people as well?

Speaker 2: 29:04

Yes, I do both. I do groups and I do one on one.

Speaker 1: 29:07

And are your one on one specifically for now, based around that money, mindset or other things as well.

Speaker 2: 29:16

I would say that people come to me with different kinds of issues and, because I have a broad kind of spectrum of understanding of human nature, we work on different things and so, for example, I just worked with a woman who came to me specifically for the money mindset or with her relationship with money, but what we worked on like money is almost a facade, a cover up for things that are underneath that. So we ended up working on other things that are connected to money but not necessarily directly linked to money, like self confidence, ability to make choices, boundaries, being able to connect to herself and release people, pleasing, and then also self worth in the context of being open to getting paid enough, because she is very talented in skills, but she felt resentful about not getting paid and putting too much effort. So it is around money, but we had to unpack this connecting dots that were underneath money.

Speaker 1: 30:24

Yeah, oh, everything, it seems, revolves around that fear, fear being the biggest issue in life, honestly, because fear about health, fear about money, fear about this, fear about that and we got to release that shift.

Speaker 1: 30:39

Anyway, I am just really thrilled. I know you also help people, because we had to talk about this, about shadow work, and that's a lot of people do not want to deal with. But it's very important to go back and figure out what our shadows are and why those are some of the things causing our blockages in this part of our life I will say this lifetime, because it could be past lives, but also from this life. So I know you have a whole skill set and what I think people might be drawn to work with you because of that varied background you have, because you have accomplished so much and done so much, and what I think is really spectacular yeah, I'm going to throw that spectacular word out is that you're not afraid to always something new. You know your constant and to me that's what keeps you young, what keeps you engaged and vital and important.

Speaker 2: 31:36

So, yeah, you just recently I had a session with a friend of mine. I was on, I was the recipient, so I was not a giver, I was the receiver, and she told me that you need to open to learning. I'm like haven't I learned enough? She's like no, no, you have to keep going. You have to learn more.

Speaker 1: 31:59

Where can people find you? What's your website? I'll also write it so that people can see it. I know it's not like your name. Is that easy to spell?

Speaker 2: 32:07

Sure, but it's my first name and last name that love, l O V E. So I'll spell it out M A R I Y A S H I Y I K O. That love. And I am also on social media, so I am on Instagram and Facebook under the same name.

Speaker 1: 32:29

Anything that comes to you and to a degree that you might like to share, that you think the listeners might need to hear at this time, I think.

Speaker 2: 32:39

I will end with an advice that I just received a couple of days ago myself, and it was a reminder. I always come back to this basic idea of trust and faith Because what I have seen in my life, that success often looks differently. You know, sometimes, especially when you're on a spiritual path, you constantly tuning, you feel what feels right to you or not, and you trust your heart and you follow your heart. And sometimes, when you follow your heart, it deviates from the expected pathways of how your life should unfold, and that might create self judgment, it might create this fear that somehow you're on the wrong path or on the wrong way of doing life.

Speaker 2: 33:36

But what I one of my personal biggest lessons has been of deep self acceptance and deep self love. That is not conditional on how other people approve me or not, and of course it's still work and progress. It's like it's a daily exercise. But at the same time I find more and more that I am learning to be content with where I am, what I'm doing, even though it's not a linear straight line of what is traditionally expected. And so I think my general advice quote unquote is to have faith in yourself and trust in the big of force that is guiding you and really, really appreciate the path. That might look complicated or nonlinear, but it has some meaning, and you might not know the entire meaning until you reach the end of this path, but just keep going. Thank you for that so great.

Speaker 1: 34:36

And also never stop learning. Yes, it's never too late.

Speaker 2: 34:43

It's never too late, right.

Speaker 1: 34:46

Thank you so much, everyone for tuning in to this episode of Ignite your Spark. I do hope your spark has been ignited by our conversation the delightful Maria really just a talented human being and it shows you that you should go out should I don't know about should, but hopefully you will go out. Learn something new in order to ignite your spark, especially if you feel like it's being dimmed. Try something new, get out there because, as I say, the world needs your light. So get out there, shine on and thank you for shining.

Speaker 3: 35:48

Oh, oh, oh, and everything's going your way. Oh, oh, oh. You want to make it last forever. Keep it together, because it keeps getting better.