Illuminating the Psyche: Merging Astrology and Therapy with Lisa Tahir

Prepare to be captivated as we sit down with Lisa Tahir, the trailblazing therapist marrying the wisdom of the stars with the depth of the psyche in what she dubs Psychoastrology. Our enlightening journey begins with a discussion of her pioneering approach encapsulated in her book, "The Chiron Effect." Lisa's profound work doesn't stop there—she's also a beacon of hope through the YES Foundation, where she uses the transformative power of glass art to uplift individuals with disabilities. Her insights from her podcast "All Things Therapy" serve as a testament to her dedication, offering practical self-care strategies that align with the positive ebb and flow of life.

Lisa's expertise leads us into the realm of Chiron, an asteroid in astrology that holds the key to our deepest wounds and the potential for transcendence. By understanding the placement of Chiron in our birth charts, we can unlock the door to our vulnerabilities and embark on a path to true self-expression and joy. She shares the synergy of 'psychostrology', a term she coins for combining astrological insights with personal psychology, to inspire a shift from negative self-talk to affirmations that nurture self-belief and personal evolution.

As the episode reaches its crescendo, we embrace the concept of 'heart spark to heart spark,' celebrating the power of acknowledging and sharing our inner light. Reflecting on my heartwarming dialogue with Lisa, I underscore the transformative impact of recognizing our brightness and encouraging it in others. This episode is an exuberant call to action for anyone yearning to affirm their own luminosity and assist others in radiating theirs. Together, we foster a world where every soul's light is not only seen but celebrated. So let's continue to illuminate the path for ourselves and those we meet—one spark at a time.

Thank you for sharing this podcast, rating and subscribing - lets ignite sparks the world over.
Cheers....

Find Lisa here:
https://www.nolatherapy.com/
Find Kim here:
https://www.kimduffselby.com/

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Sparklers, welcome back to another episode of Ignite your Spark. I'm your host, kim Duff Selby. I don't know why I say that every time, but I do because if you're listening to it, you know that, if you're watching it, you see me. I am thrilled once again to bring you a fabulous guest, because all my guests are fabulous and they are all here to ignite your spark. Now, the podcast is not about me, although I gather so much from each guest. It's about you and helping you ignite your spark so that you can be the best version of yourself and live your life to the fullest, to your shiniest self, because we, like all of us like to be around shiny, sparkly, fun people. Okay, yes, I know that's a little simplistic. However, welcome to my podcast, lisa Tahir. And.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Lisa is a licensed clinical social worker and I love the name of her business. It's NOLA, so she works in New Orleans and Los Angeles, but that also, we know, means New Orleans, Louisiana. So very cute, lisa. I love that she is an author as well of her book is called the Chiron Effect Healing Our Core Wounds Through Astrology, empathy and Self-Forgiveness. I love this because she utilizes all of her education in the traditional sense, along with her education in the spiritual sense and she does something called Psychoastrology and we're going to find out about that. She also has a podcast which I really enjoy, called All Things Therapy Really good. And I just want to say this to Lisa she has a nonprofit called the yes Foundation that teaches children and adults with disabilities to blow and cast glass art using her ADA compliant and US-patented workbench, the chair-iat. So she's one of the things she likes to do is glass art too. She's very multi-talented and faceted and thank you for joining me.

Speaker 2: 2:09

Lisa Kim, I'm so delighted to be here with you and our audience. Thank you, thank you. Thank you for having me on, of course.

Speaker 1: 2:18

Now, how do you, Lisa, ignite your spark?

Speaker 2: 2:23

You know, I've been thinking of that today because I've been listening to your podcast and I intended for this to be a day where I got to do my favorite way of igniting my spark earlier in the day, which is going for a workout. I see, working out is play. I just ask my body how do you want to play today? And let myself do it. But some things came up. I have not been able to do that and I've honestly felt quite a bit of anxiety today and some stress, and I'm sharing this because I know people listening and watching.

Speaker 2: 2:57

This is life, that we have a plan and sometimes things come up and we're not able to do our self-care practices in maybe the order or way that is most desirable. And that's where I sit with you, like right now, in the moment, in real time. So actually, this time with you is actually igniting my spark, just being in your energy, which is so bright and buoyant, and allowing this conversation to emerge. So I'm feeling like I'm coming to a place of centeredness and grounding as we're beginning the show together, and I thank you for that. So this is how my spark is being ignited today is right now, with you. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 3:40

That really means a lot. But I do find that my spark gets ignited absolutely when I'm interviewing people, because it takes the focus off of me. When we are so in ourselves and we're like poor me, this me, this me and when you have to put your focus on not have to, but choose to put your focus on someone or something else, like working out or meditating then you are able to become more grounded, and so your answer was very special to me. Thank you, thank you for that.

Speaker 2: 4:09

You're so welcome, and even I did meditate this morning. That's a daily practice I have, but there were some things on my list that came up a bit to my surprise and I noticed I've had to really hold myself in as much alignment as I can, and what I mean by that is knowing things are always working out for me. It's a mantra I learned from Abraham Hicks that I embrace and offer to anyone today that might be having a day pulling their emotions in different places. But no, regardless of what it looks like in any given moment, things are working out for us and life wants us to embrace and believe that.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Thank you for bringing that up, because I think that's something we all need to hear and utilize in our daily lives. I have to say that you are basically the therapist of my dreams. Thank you, thank you. I mean that I have only been to traditional therapy for a short time in my twenties, after my father passed away.

Speaker 1: 5:10

I had lost both my mother and father, found out, I was adopted and you know, the world was spinning and she was lovely, she was a counselor and although I have been in the spiritual arena my entire life, I did not know there was such a thing and I don't think there were many 30 years ago, people who combined the modalities of traditional therapy along with, shall we say, more spiritual practices as well. And that's why I think not knowing you as a therapist, only having listened to your podcast and reading about you and reading a little portion of the book that you are the ideal candidate for people who want a traditional Therapy session along with a little bit of, dare I say it, wu thrown in there. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Have you always been on the spiritual path?

Speaker 2: 6:05

You know, kim, when I became a therapist I see my diploma right here I was licensed in 2000 and so it's been 24 years and I always Was a different kind of therapist. Like I loved my training and social work. I love the different theories and paradigms that have been around for ages, yet I always felt like therapy it's. It's about the person in front of me and everyone's different, and really seeking to align my own energy with wanting to understand the person in front of me and what their deepest needs are Emotionally and how to meet them in that space. So, though I didn't know I was being spiritual or Taking into account the whole person, I think I have been, and in recent years by choice, having the language and terminology, but I've always sought to just really connect with who's with me, so they leave feeling like they were seen and heard, because I know that's what's actually healing.

Speaker 1: 7:05

Absolutely you don't want to go into therapy. It's like you don't want to go to a doctor that's cookie cutter and just says the same answers, or physical therapy. I remember I had a back issue my daughter at any issue and we're given the same exercise, and I do understand that our body parts are all aligned in that regards, but I feel like sometimes in more traditional modalities, the whole person is not seen, and I love that you do that. Thank you, yeah, oh, I mean, I think it's such a gift to your clients. Now, do people come to you not realizing that there is that portion of you, or do people mostly? Yeah, they do, don't they?

Speaker 2: 7:45

no, they do. And so that's interesting because I just had a new client before we Met just now for our conversation and I try to kind of weave in because I like to start where someone is like what brought you in and what's the presenting Issue that had you make this session an appointment? And I'll kind of weave in over time Different ways of looking at their issue, looking at their problem, to help them align with the solution and, as I feel, led to offer. Hey, you know, I did write this book On healing through self forgiveness and empathy and this astrological placement on Chiron. Are you interested in knowing more and just you know, or just trying to indirectly weave in Different you know, asking even what do you believe spiritually? If it's around grief or loss, I think asking about spirituality is so important, like what do you believe about the afterlife? Or do you and where do you believe your deceased love? The ones are. So I try to work it in as it feels appropriate for the person.

Speaker 1: 8:44

Hmm, that is so special really. I think that's something that hopefully more and more licensed therapists, doctors, are taking into consideration when dealing with the human Soul. In front of that you also practice reiki, though, too, I do.

Speaker 2: 9:02

I'm a reiki practitioner, so I have some clients that come in and will do half the session reiki, and then the last portion will come and sit down and talk about it like hey, what did you experience? And I'll share what I noticed, what came up for me, and so I like combining the sessions being half and half, because it elicits different, different things.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So you became a licensed therapist in 2000, and when did you start on your reiki journey or on your Astro how do I say it? Psycho journey?

Speaker 2: 9:37

you know. All that, kim, kind of happened in in conscious time in my awareness around 2016, when I went out to Los Angeles and really fell in love with the city I was born and raised in new Orleans, where I am today and I just felt like there's so much here. I found it so exciting, never having lived anywhere Else, and I really dug into oh my gosh, what is reiki? And going to different meditations and sound healings and and things about quantum physics and just really. It really suited me because I I realized I had always been working at these levels but didn't have the language for it to use crystals and use. I've always been into kind of rituals like lighting candles and writing intentions for the new year rather than resolutions, and learning how there are people that do this and and I can go study and learn more about it. So that's where it became more conscious and kind of activated in my life.

Speaker 1: 10:36

Yeah, that makes sense. Of course we are so groovy in California I'm in northern California, but are you?

Speaker 2: 10:41

oh, my gosh, okay, yes, yes.

Speaker 1: 10:45

No, it makes sense that it all came to you at that point in time, because that seems to be the point in time when more and more people were accessing, or have been accessing, their gifts. I have seen an explosion of spiritual practices, even over the past four years since I started my podcast, and it's because we're stepping into the light and what you do, lisa, is so vital, because we all need healing. When you talk about in your book the core wounds, what exactly are our core wounds? I know it's different for everyone, but if you could just you know maybe explain that.

Speaker 2: 11:19

Absolutely so. Core wounding it's actually on a spectrum it's just too many words to put in a title that for some of you listening or watching you have areas of vulnerability, it's more of like an ouch. And you know your, you have value, you have worth, you believe in yourself. You got those beautiful and loving messages, maybe that you can do anything, that I'm always here for you, so your self-esteem is really intact. And when something happens it's more of like an ouch or a speed bump versus moving up and along that spectrum.

Speaker 2: 11:53

Core wounding are these deeper emotional wounds where there's been trauma, there's been abuse, there's been abandonment and we start to make meanings about ourselves like we're not worthy, we're not important, we're not valuable.

Speaker 2: 12:10

And in my experience I lived a lot of my life as a younger person like that not valuing myself and not really knowing it, just feeling depressed and sad and not really knowing why, and encountering relationships and experiences where I might be taken advantage of or I might inadvertently abandon myself and something happens. And as I started to heal and grow this, you know really learning that to not learning to, not self-abandon to. You know really self-love. And we hear a lot about boundaries, usually in the terms of setting boundaries with others, and for me, I think it's a lot about how you set boundaries with yourself or you release boundaries from yourself, that maybe you need to give yourself permission to have more fun, to work less and play more, and that was the case for me and still is. At times Like, how can I have more fun and freedom while doing what I love and not be so stringent with myself and regulated? Is that resonating?

Speaker 1: 13:13

Yeah, yes exactly, and these core wounds I am imagining can come from this lifetime, or perhaps past lifetimes, if people believe that, or they can even be subconscious, like, and you know, I feel like I'm always repeating myself on this, but I was adopted, but I found that out when I was 22. So I think that I have that core wound, the whole mother wound thing that I didn't realize, right, I mean, that's something that happened to me, for me, however, you want to look at it, and I think that we don't always realize that we have core wounds or that those core wounds are what are influencing our day-to-day life. Were you able to determine what your core wounds came from?

Speaker 2: 14:08

You know, that really became clear to me when I started writing my book and I received the download, so to speak, about my book, when I was asking the universe, I'm really frustrated Like why I work with a lot of very successful people and why are my clients, who are so intelligent and aware and self-responsible, why are they experiencing anxiety and depression and why am I and I started to hear this word, chiron and Kim. It wasn't very meaningful to me in all honesty, I was kind of like what, chiron? But you know, when something wants you to receive it, it kind of starts showing up everywhere and finally, after a few weeks I was like, oh my gosh, let me just research this Chiron shit, you know, and see what comes up. And you know, I learned Chiron I remembered from grad school.

Speaker 2: 14:59

Carl Jung wrote about Chiron as the archetype of the wounded healer. Blah, blah, blah. And Chiron's also an astronomy a minor planet and comet designated in astronomy. It has an elliptical orbit between the planets of Saturn and Uranus, astronomically. I thought that was pretty cool and was named after Chiron, the centaur and Greek mythology of the healing arts. I thought, okay, that's. I love that kind of stuff, it's interesting. But how is this the answer to my question and, when I delved further, a finding. Chiron is a placement in your astrological birth chart. Like you know your sun sign. Like what's your sign, kim Libra.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Libra.

Speaker 2: 15:38

Okay, Now I'm a Gemini, so Chiron is in one of these 12 signs Gemini, Libra, Scorpio, et cetera and it's different from your sun sign. And when I started to realize that research that I discovered that where Chiron is in your chart identifies one of these 12 placements of vulnerability, up to including core wounding if you experienced abuse, trauma, something like that, and it's it's where we source are not feeling good enough and it's like as far as we let ourselves go in life. We can only go as far as our largest limiting belief allows us to. And that was a real aha. And I struggled with the astrology piece too.

Speaker 2: 16:22

Kim, like universe, Are you telling me something prescribed to me is dictating? You know my life experience and I had the biggest download ever of, like Lisa, hell, no, you wrote your chart Like we wrote our own chart. Nobody gave it to us. We scripted this and crafted it as we have our life experience, before we came into this physical body that we have such awareness of, and while we probably don't remember scripting out this chart, this life, we have free, free will and personal responsibility to change things for ourselves, and I believe that's through the thoughts that we think which support the beliefs that we have and when we can really change our thoughts to be more loving, self forgiving and empathetic, we create beliefs that are the vehicle to take us to where we really want to go in our lives, and that's what my book is about in a nutshell.

Speaker 1: 17:15

Okay, I love that. I love that. That was my question also was what is Chiron? And you did answer that and let's see when I wrote this down you use the the placement of where Chiron was in our birth chart to identify the core wounds.

Speaker 2: 17:38

Right, should I share some examples of that? So, if you, if you would, I think, thank you. Yeah, so in my chart, chiron is in the sign of Aries and that speaks to a vulnerability or core wounding in my personal sense of my own value and worth. And this, these are patterns for others of you, with Chiron and Aries where you've sourced love. You learned to source love through people pleasing, through a lot of hard work, through really giving your all, going above and beyond and hiding when you might be in discomfort or overwhelmed, so people don't know you need relief or help and you tend to burn out and experience that's where the anxiety and depression comes from.

Speaker 2: 18:22

You're overperforming and to source value and worth and things and being a good person and things that you really do care about. It's real, it's authentic, but you go too far with it. And when I realized that it was such an aha that that's 100% true. And how can I source value intrinsically instead of extrinsically, like that I'm generous, that I'm kind, that I'm good enough If I never do another thing, I'm just good enough, period, as I am, and to kind of let myself off the hook of super high performance all the time, and so it's learning to show up differently, and I give five or six takeaway steps for every placement. Chiron, in the sign of this of cancer, would be core wounding by abandonment, where you experience an abandonment either literally like a caretaker leaving, or maybe they had an addiction that was their primary relationship and you were left to to fend for yourself and you might even be, um you know, abandoning yourself in some ways. So I'll just pause to see how that ends.

Speaker 1: 19:30

Really fascinating. Yeah, and in your book do you help us figure out where Chiron was, or is that something we would have to go?

Speaker 2: 19:38

see you? No, there's, there's in my book. There's actually a chart in the in the book like where you can look up your when you're born, and I have an interactive website at nola therapy. Comm forward, slash Chiron. If you go there, you can just enter your birth data and it generates Chiron and blank for you.

Speaker 1: 19:57

Oh, very cool.

Speaker 2: 19:58

So that we have that and we know, when we read the book, what we, what our clients are, or vulnerability again, for some people you know it might not everyone, thank goodness Experiences trauma, you know. So for some of you it might be an ouch moment where it's just a little stumbling block. Yet I think it helps to know our areas of vulnerability, because those are the things we tend to hide about ourselves, and when we hide who we are, I don't believe we're actually as happy as we can be. So it's really Giving each other permission to to be more authentic where you're safe to do so, where you're welcomed to do so, and while it it might not be with every person in every area of your life. Hopefully you can create that, if you don't have it with even one person, that you can let your guard down and really be authentic About things that are going on for you.

Speaker 1: 20:51

I'm also read that. I mean, I don't feel like I experienced true trauma in the sense of how so many people who were abused or lived in substance abuse homes. But Don't we all experience a trauma being born into the world because it's traumatic leaving the birth canal or sure?

Speaker 2: 21:13

I've definitely read that for sure. But I think it's about what you do remember. There's plenty enough that we do remember to work with. So I suggest work with that instead of reaching for things you don't know, because I think that kind of throws you off your track. And you know, trust your own guidance and intuition, them and my book is like a. It's a self-help Journal. At their journal prompts where I have you write about memories of when you felt really loved and seen, and other times, conversely, when you didn't. And then what meaning did you make about yourself? Because that's really informing what you believe is true for you and what you believe you deserve from others and from life. So I want to help us kind of excavate and look at those meanings We've made about ourselves and and change the ones that are devaluing and causes emotional pain.

Speaker 1: 22:00

Okay, this is a big question. How do we change those? Is it through affirmations? Is it a many step?

Speaker 2: 22:07

process. It depends on what the issue actually is. So, again, for each kind of vulnerability and wounding, I'll offer some, some things that might be helpful. But there's a section I sourced from Dr Judith Herman. She's a trauma expert and was a mentor from afar in my education on on healing through sexual trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence and neglect. Where it's really about what's truly fractured in those experiences is your sense of the world being a safe place for you, and it's like a continual hypervigilance around. Am I safe? And that can come from either even smaller things that happen in our lives. So don't minimize whatever you experience that's left you feeling some emotional instability. It's valuable and it's learning how to trust ourselves, feel like we have security and safety in our own body, like being safe physically first tear and then safe emotionally. And I do recommend therapy for those that have experienced the deeper wounding because it helps to have somebody to kind of lead you through that territory.

Speaker 1: 23:16

Absolutely, and to have someone who's a sounding board, who's not your best friend, who is someone who can look at it objectively and not place what they know about you upon you. And surely therapy? You get to know someone, certainly, but it's a different relationship and I've come to believe that we could all use therapy. I don't care if you don't think you had trauma. I never thought I had trauma. And then, when I looked back after all the interviews I've done with trauma coaches and shadow, I'm like holy moly, I have not the kind that, really, that some people go through, as I've said before, and that's why I believe everybody could benefit from learning about their core wounds through psychostrology. Is that what psychostrology? What is that? Before we wrap up.

Speaker 2: 24:03

I love language and words, I think they're just fun.

Speaker 2: 24:06

And so psychostrology is simply where your astrological birth chart meets your personal astrology.

Speaker 2: 24:12

Just very simple, that intersection between our current functioning psychologically and emotionally with the birth chart that I believe we wrote and how we want to use that in our lives.

Speaker 2: 24:27

And for me it's Chiron. I'm not a trained astrologer, I'm a trained psychotherapist. So for me I use astrology as the diagnostic point to understand where Chiron is, so you can understand the deeper psychological issues at play and maybe why you have some of the beliefs you do about yourself and how far you can go in your life or how not far you can go in your life and to change your self-talk. Like we are constantly communicating, we think up to 70,000 thoughts a day. It's astronomical the amount, and if we can describe a few of those that make us feel bad and kind of wrestle with it a bit and say, even out loud at first, I don't want to believe this anymore about myself, that I'm unworthy, that I'm not good enough, that I can't have this or I can't do this. I want to believe in myself more. And how do we have to start showing up differently in our lives to get there, because I think it requires us showing up differently than maybe we have before.

Speaker 1: 25:28

And we have such conditioning, you know so many limiting beliefs put upon us, whether it's by parents or teachers or friends. Oh, you're to this, you're to that, and I know that just lands in our head and it's part of those thoughts. When I know that is 70,000 thoughts, I'm like no, no, I have 90,000 thoughts going on every day, yes, and we can push against those thoughts Like, no, I'm not too much.

Speaker 2: 25:52

And again, you don't have to go telling everyone off to do this. This is an inside job and that's why meditation is so effective. To really, for a few minutes every day, meditate upon you, know you as unconditionally loved, unconditionally, just right, where you're actually meant to be, on the way to everything you want, and allowing that feeling in your body to soothe the sense of you. Know, I thought I'd be somewhere else by now. I hear that a lot and I've thought that a lot and instead of realizing, no, this is actually the perfect place. And how can I get excited about what's coming and look more forward instead of back, because everything we want is actually ahead of us, not behind us? And to try to train ourselves like a horse with the blinders on, like really train our minds to look ahead, to really start to become excited about what's on the way because of what we're doing today.

Speaker 1: 26:48

You know, lisa, it's funny that you said that, because I have always been that person who, like back in my 20s when someone would break up with me, because it did happen, I did my fair share of breaking up, but I live, instead of wallowing, I would say, somehow had the wherewithal to go Ooh, now, what? Now I get to one else. I was brought up in a very positive household, even though they didn't tell me I was adopted. But you know, hey, we all have issues.

Speaker 1: 27:18

Lisa, I know we need to wrap up, but I just want to say the name of your book again the Chiron Effect Healing Our Core Wounds Through Astrology, empathy and Self-Forgiveness and I do think that journal prompting that you were speaking about is key to this and meditation. And if you're like me and have 90,000 thoughts a day and think I don't have time to meditate, you need to meditate more. I need not just the morning and the evening, I need little breaks throughout the day, because that is what helps me and I know it will help other people. Anything else you would like to end with? I'm loving this conversation. I could talk to you forever, me too.

Speaker 2: 27:55

Just keep. I wanted to have you on my podcast. Would you be my guest on all things therapy? I do want to talk to you more about things and more of your experience.

Speaker 1: 28:02

Oh yeah, I would love to, I would love to.

Speaker 2: 28:04

Okay, then, we're going to do that?

Speaker 1: 28:05

Okay, that sounds awesome, thank you. Thank you Anything, anything, Lisa, because you've shared so much wisdom. I really appreciate all the little tips you've given us. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 28:16

You know, the one thing to leave people with, and I shared this when one of my bucket list dreams was to lecture at Columbia University and it happened twice and so and it was about my book in the mind, body, spirit, masters program, and what came to me to share and I've never forgotten it is to really think about and, if you can close your eyes now or later, to just really start to, in your heart space, allow the belief to grow that I'm the most important person in the universe and so is the person next to me, and I think when we really have that experience of just how important we are, as well as the person next to me, like our world is, really can really start to become a better place in our personal environment.

Speaker 1: 29:07

Lovely, thank you, thank you, thank you, you're welcome. Oh my gosh, my listeners. You are so lucky. Today you got some great tips and what Lisa just shared reminds me of how I like to connect with people, which is my heart spark to your heart spark, to all of you out there, because you are important, you are a light. I am a light, but you have to say it, you have to say it enough time so that you really believe it is. Everyone has a light inside and when we share that light, we make the world a better place and we give others permission to share their light. So, with that, I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed interviewing Lisa. Please, please, subscribe Right. I'll leave a comment because I want to share more light again, not about me, about you and all those that we can affect and bring their light out. Thank you for shining, and remember the person next to you is just as important. Acknowledge their light as well. Shine on. Thank you.