But What About Socialization?

EP248: That question shows up everywhere: at the park, in a comment thread, from a neighbor who means well, or from someone who clearly doesn’t. “But what about socialization?” can land like a punch, especially when you’re already doing the brave work of choosing homeschooling and trying to stay confident in your decision.

We unpack why homeschooling socialization is rarely the problem people assume it is, and why the opposite is often true. Drawing on experience in public school classrooms, private school classrooms, and decades of homeschooling, we talk honestly about what “socialization” actually looks like for homeschoolers as compared to school settings. Listen in for concrete examples of homeschool social opportunities, from play dates to volunteering.

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Transcript

What Socialization Really Looks Like

Real World Activities That Connect Kids

A College Interview Surprise

How To Answer With Confidence

Closing Reminder And Encouragement

SPEAKER_00 1:01

You're listening to the Art of Homeschooling podcast, where we help parents cultivate creativity and connection at home. I'm your host, Jean Miller, and here on this podcast, you'll find stories and inspiration to bring you the confidence you need to make homeschooling work for your family. Let's begin. Maybe by a neighbor, maybe by a relative, maybe by a complete stranger. Here's the question: but what about socialization? Today I want to talk about this question because honestly, homeschoolers could go on and on answering it. But I want to share a perspective that comes from someone who's taught in public school classrooms, private school classrooms, and homeschooled my own three children. Here's what I can tell you socialization is not a problem for most homeschoolers. In fact, many homeschooling families find the opposite to be true. Recently, I shared something on social media about the Taproot teacher training for homeschoolers. It's a live in-person event every summer, and someone commented on the post, as homeschoolers, aren't you worried about socialization? I gave a very short answer. I said something like, I homeschooled three kiddos for 25 years, and socialization was never a problem for us. We regularly got together with other homeschooling families for classes, play dates, and activities. That was it. But after I posted that reply, my head was swirling with all the things I could have said. Not that I should have said, but the things I could have said. So today I want to unpack this question a little bit more. First, let me talk about what socialization actually looks like for homeschoolers. One of the first things that came to mind for me was all the activities my children participated in over the years. And here's something people often overlook. Homeschoolers can do these activities during the day, not just packing them in after school hours or on weekends. And the truth is, school classrooms are not actually set up for socialization. Most of the day is spent sitting quietly, listening, waiting, or working independently. I remember my time as a classroom teacher spending a lot of energy trying to get the students to quiet down and stop talking. Homeschoolers, on the other hand, often have many opportunities to interact with a whole range of people, a diverse range of people throughout the day. So first let's start with some examples of the activities my kiddos participated in through the years. Play dates with friends and neighborhood kids, meeting other families for picnics or hikes in the woods, classes at museums and nature centers, small group writing or art classes that we organized, homeschool co-ops, scouts, 4-H clubs and youth groups, team competitions like Destination Imagination and Mock Trial, volunteering at the food pantry or animal shelter, and rec center sports and ice skating. One thing I loved about homeschooling was that my children weren't only interacting with others their exact same age, they not only spent time with their peers, parents, and grandparents, but they also spent time with younger children, older students, and other adults as well. That's actually a much more natural kind of social environment. Here's a little story that illustrates this. The fact is that homeschooled children are often very comfortable interacting with others because they spend time with people of many different ages, not just a classroom of same-age peers. I remember when our youngest had a college interview. The admissions officer told us that they love homeschoolers for this very reason. And that's the piece people often miss when they ask about socialization. Homeschooling doesn't limit social experiences, it often broadens them. So what do you do when someone asks you this question? Here are a couple of simple tips for you. First of all, keep your initial answer short and neutral in tone. Something like, oh, that's not a problem for us. You don't have to launch into a big explanation right away. Then, if the person asks more questions, listen for the intent behind what they're asking. If the tone feels critical or judgmental, it's perfectly okay to leave the conversation right there. Don't take it personally. People often ask this because they're unfamiliar with homeschooling and they don't know many homeschoolers. But if the person seems genuinely curious, that's your opportunity to share a little bit more. You might explain the kinds of activities your family participates in, or talk about how homeschooling allows children to interact with people of many different ages. So if you ever get the question, but what about socialization? Take a deep breath because the real answer is this. Homeschoolers are not missing out on socialization. We're simply doing it differently. And it's often more expansive. And often in ways that are more natural, more flexible, and more integrated into real life. So don't let that question shake your confidence. You're a homeschooler. Trust yourself because homeschooling is absolutely worth it. That's all for today, my friend. But here's what I want you to remember. Rather than perfection, let's focus on connection. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you on the next episode of the Art of Homeschooling podcast.