You Are the Emotional Thermostat

EP255: What if the most important part of your homeschool isn’t the curriculum ~ but you? In this episode, Jean explores how you are the emotional thermostat and how your presence shapes the entire learning environment. Learn how awareness, self-care, and small resets can create a more connected, grounded homeschool. 

Find the show notes here. https://artofhomeschooling.com/episode255/

Inside the Inspired at Home community, you'll find the homeschooling support and guidance you need to help you homeschool with more confidence and creativity.

And from now through May 26th, you can join us for just $7 for your first month.

Inside, you'll find group coaching calls, a library of masterclasses, and a warm, encouraging community of homeschooling parents. 

https://studio.artofhomeschooling.com/bundles/inspired-at-home 

Transcript

Jean Miller, Host 1:32

You're listening to the Art of Homeschooling Podcast, where we help parents cultivate creativity and connection at home. I'm your host, Jean Miller, and here on this podcast, you'll find stories and inspiration to bring you the confidence you need to make homeschooling work for your family. Let's begin.

Care Of The Heart

Awareness Over Perfection

Self-Awareness and Self-Care

Summer Helps You Reset

Community Support And Retreat Invite

Connection Over Perfection

Jean Miller, Host 2:02

What if the most important part of your homeschool isn't your curriculum, your rhythm, or even your lesson plan? What if it's you? More specifically, your presence. Because here's something powerful to remember. Your children feel your nervous system before they hear the lesson. Now, before you jump to feeling guilt or even shame, I want to share why this is actually incredibly empowering for homeschooling parents. Hello, it's Jean here, and welcome or welcome back to the Art of Homeschooling podcast. And I really hope that this episode today gives you a stronger sense of yourself and how important it is to pay attention to what's going on inside of you. So here is what this means when I talk about you being a really important part of the whole picture. It means taking care of you is just as important as the time you spend choosing curriculum, planning lessons, showing up for your children and everyone else. That's right. Taking care of yourself is important. Let that sink in for a moment. This is true even for classroom teachers, by the way. Teacher author Parker Palmer talks about this in his book, The Courage to Teach, a great book. Parker talks about the importance of "care of the heart," a phrase that he uses often, meaning taking care of your inner life so that you can show up and be effective in your role as teacher, parent, facilitator, educator. Here's a beautiful quote from the book. The gift I was put on this earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves, but for the many lives we touch. End of quote. So instead of this being a burden, I want you to hear this as permission to take really good care of yourself, to take the time you need to replenish your energy and inner strength alongside planning and delivering lessons to your giddos. Because as I said, your children notice how you're showing up. They notice it right away, before the math, before the story, before the read aloud, before the carefully planned main lesson block. They feel you, your pace, your tension, your groundedness, your overwhelm, your sense of connection. And before this starts to feel like pressure, let me say this clearly: this is not about getting it right all the time. In fact, we want to show up in our full humanity. Barker Palmer talks about that a lot. That really our role is to show up as who we are. So this is not about getting it right all the time. It's about giving yourself grace. It's about recognizing that your well-being matters too. Because caring for yourself, even slowing down, tending your own nervous system, this is not separate from homeschooling. It's part of it. Your children do not need a perfectly peaceful parent. They want you. They need a parent who is willing to be gentle with themselves, who notices when things feel off, who models repair, and who understands that sometimes the most important lesson is learning how to pause, reset, and begin again. Rudolf Steiner talked about this too in his lectures to the first Waldorf teachers back in 1919. He said, quote, you will not be good teachers if you focus only on what you do and not upon who you are. End quote. I know this can feel like a lot, especially as homeschooling parents when we already carry so much. It's easy to hear something like this and think, oh great, one more thing I'm responsible for. Or even think, I don't have time for that. But that's not where I want us to go today. This is not about perfection. This is really about awareness. Because you don't need to be calm all the time to create a beautiful homeschool. You want to develop an awareness of when things feel off. And know that slowing down, resetting, and caring for yourself is not separate from homeschooling. It is homeschooling. There's another quote that I've returned to again and again over the years from teacher psychologist Haim Ginott. And here is the beginning it. " I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. " I'll be sure to put the full quote, it goes on. I'll be sure to put the full quote in the show notes for you, which you can find at artifomeschooling.com/ episode 255. Phew! That can sound like a big responsibility, I know, but I also find it deeply hopeful. Because if we help create the climate, then we can also shift it. We can repair, we can soften, we can begin again. Bad morning, reset. Plans falling apart, breathe and choose the next right thing. You are not trapped by the moment. You are helping to shape it. I had to practice things like this during my own homeschooling years. Phew! That can sound like a big responsibility, I know, but I also find it deeply hopeful. Because if we help create the climate, then we can also shift it. We can repair, we can soften, we can begin again. Bad morning, reset. Plans falling apart, breathe and choose the next right thing. You are not trapped by the moment. You are helping to shape it. I had to practice things like this during my own homeschooling years. Things like, "I don't like how I responded to you, let me try again." Or "We're both upset right now. How about if we take a 10-minute break and then come back to this?" Or saying to my husband, "I really need to take the morning off and go for a walk in the woods by myself." That's really practicing self-awareness and true self-care. And everything you do to take care of yourself affects how you show up. This is all an important part of the bigger picture. This idea of being the emotional thermostat matters so much in homeschooling because our children aren't just learning from what we teach, they're learning from how it feels to learn with us. They're absorbing the emotional climate of the home. And this is why rhythm matters, why simplifying matters, why your own inner work matters. Not because you need to become some perfectly peaceful homeschooling parent. That is not at all what I'm saying. I certainly was not, if that makes you feel any better. It's important because a regulated, grounded parent often teaches more effectively than the most beautiful curriculum ever could. This means that if the curriculum is adding pressure and stressing you out, let it go and just show up as you, as the curious, interesting, interested human that you are. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is to close the books, go outside, make a cup of tea, read poetry, share yourself, or simply reset by yourself first. So what does this look like in real life? It might mean before beginning the lesson, asking, how do I really feel right now? It might mean I need 10 minutes before we start. It might mean choosing connection over completion. It might mean realizing that caring for your own nervous system is part of caring for your children's education. This is not selfish. This is leadership. And honestly, this is one of the reasons summer and summertime can be such a gift to us. Not because you need to suddenly become a different homeschooling parent, not because you need a big revamp of everything, but because seasonal shifts give us space to reset, to breathe, to restore, to notice what's working and what kind of climate we want to create moving forward. Just a moment to step back and take that 30,000-foot view to slow down and to notice. So today, if things feel tense, if you feel overstimulated, if homeschooling has felt heavy lately, just remember this. You are not feeling. Your presence matters deeply. And sometimes the bravest, most productive thing you can do is slow down enough to tend to the emotional weather first. Because homeschooling is not just about the lessons, it's about the climate in which the learning unfolds. And you, you help shape that weather. If this episode has resonated with you, if you're realizing that you are such an important part of the emotional climate of your home and your homeschool, and if you'd love support in resetting, reconnecting, and moving forward with more intention, there are two beautiful ways I'd love to help you. The first is inside the Inspired Home community, where we'll be gathering for our annual summer reset at the end of May. This is such a grounding supportive space to reflect on this past year and celebrate,eset your energy, and thoughtfully prepare for the summer season ahead so you can find time for both planning and fun without pressure, overwhelm, or the feeling like you need to do everything all at once. This is a member favorite every year inside the Inspired at Home community. And if you're listening to this later than the May in which I'm recording it, we have a focus every single month inside the Inspired at Home membership. And we dive deep into that focus as a group. There are three coaching calls a month and lots of support for you there.

Connection Over Perfection

Jean Miller, Host 13:09

The second way is in August every year, there's the Taproot Teacher Training, our immersive in-person weekend where you get to truly step out of the daily demands of homeschooling and into a space that restores you. Taproot is where we practice in real life the work of showing up as our best homeschooling selves, the best parents we can be. It's a place to reconnect with your purpose, experience the lively arts, learn in community from a whole team of experienced homeschooling parents, and remember that homeschooling is about more than what you teach. It's also about who you are becoming. So whether you're craving a gentle seasonal reset this summer or a deeper transformative in-person experience in August, or both, I'd love to support you. You do not have to carry the weight of homeschooling alone. Because when you feel supported, grounded, and inspired, your whole homeschool feels it too. That's all for today, my friend. But here's what I want you to remember rather than perfection, let's focus on connection. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll see you on the next episode of the Art of Homeschooling podcast.