178) Unlocking the Power of Uncomfortable Emotions: Our Feelings Really Matter

Ever wonder why you can't seem to achieve what you think you really want when you are in a funk? You won't wonder anymore after you listen to this episode. Once you understand the think-act-feel cycle, recognize that uncomfortable emotions are a gift, and how Universal Law plays into everything, you will begin to live more consciously. In fact, Maureen created an exercise for the Mastering Brain BS for Success course so that you can easily understand your Primary State of Mind, the depth of your subconscious programming  and why your life is the way it is.  When you fully understand your mindset and your subconscious programming, you can begin to live a more intentional and fulfilling life.

In this episode Maureen  shares why feelings matter so much and how  fear, doubt and uncertainty turned out to be a beautiful gift in her entrepreneurial journey. She wants to make it easier for you to grasp this concept so she created a tool called The 'Fear Factor that can  reveal how uncomfortable emotions specifically impact your life and the hidden messages they are trying to send you.

This episode is an invitation to embrace uncomfortable emotions, stop making them a problem, and  start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Not only does Maureen explain how to do all of that and reframe these emotions in a way that works for you, she also gives you two valuable tools to help you do that.
Links

After you finish listening to the podcast, check out The Brain BS Blog blog where she  expands on the topic of this podcast and provides your with a Call To Action that can actually inspire you to implement what you learned on the podcast today.

https://www.thebrainbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/maureen.kafkis.52
https://www.thebrainbs.com/brainbscommunity
https://www.thebrainbs.com/blog

If you are inspired, I would appreciate you clicking on the link to your favorite podcast platform below, to follow the podcast and write a favorable review so I can reach more people.

Apple Podcasts

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-brain-bs-podcast-learning-to-live-consciously/id1548758744?i=1000643769866

Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/4RWxW7Ni1EHTAywriOwY9z?si=d9c181834529414d

Google Podcasts

https://podcasts.google.com/search/The%20Brain%20BS%20Podcast

Amazon Music

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/09208f98-6c21-4fea-abbf-14a495cabd09/the-brain-bs-podcast-learning-to-live-consciously

I Heart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-brain-bs-podcast-learn-76710324/

Pandora

https://www.pandora.com/podcast/the-brain-bs-podcast-learning-to-live-consciously/PC:60845

Uncomfortable emotions don't need to be a problem anymore.  I swear. Not if you learn how to deal with them and feel them and I can teach you how to do that!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

This is Maureen Kafka, as the brain BS coach, here to tell you about the episode today. But before I get to that, I want to remind you that the brain BS podcast is here to offer you a psycho, spiritual approach to life that will inspire you to live consciously and make your overall health a priority. Well, it can enhance your quality of life dramatically. It is not meant to be a replacement for a needed intervention, so if you are struggling with your physical, emotional or mental well being, please seek the professional support that you need. Now let's dive into episode number 178 of the brain BS podcast, called how you feel really matters. Today, we're going to talk about how important the way you feel on a regular basis is and why you need to increase your self awareness around this. I'm going to break it down into three primary points. The first one is the importance of the think, feel, act cycle. The second point is it's an invitation uncover your subconscious programming and hitting commitments, and I'll explain what those are when I talk about it. And number three, we're going to talk about the importance of it in terms of energy and universal law. And then, if you stick with me to the end, I'm going to share a tool I created that's called primary state of mind. That will make you more self aware of how you are feeling and the message your body is trying to tell you. Do you want more out of your life, but not exactly sure what that might be? Are you longing for something but can't quite put your finger on what it is? That is the universe speaking to you, and it is time to listen up. I'm your host, maureen Kafka. As the brain BS coach, I created the brain BS podcast to help people define what success means to them and show them how to get it. I help you to let go of fear and doubt and prepare your nervous system for success. I show you how to understand your own energy and to trust yourself to make all the decisions as you are ready to go and word and stop looking outside yourself for all the answers. This is the podcast for you. Now let's get started. Hello, and welcome back to the brain BS podcast. All right, let's get started with episode 178.

Speaker 1: 2:07

How you feel on a regular basis really matters, so let's begin with the first topic, and that's the think fill act cycle. So anytime we have a thought that triggers a feeling and that leads to us taking an action and that's how we get our result. So, depending on how you feel, that inspires you to take different actions. And sometimes, if you're feeling uncomfortable and in a quote unquote bad state, you're less likely to take action and more likely to shut down. So the think fill act cycle is very important because it determines what you experience on a daily basis. So if you are not feeling good, if you're feeling resentful, if you're feeling judgmental, you're feeling critical, your heart is likely closed down, you're not really open to communication, you're probably being pretty critical and judgmental of other people as well as yourself, and it's typically not going to get you where you want to go. So if you're trying to do anything different or make any changes or improve your life, you want to really pay attention to the think fill act cycle.

Speaker 1: 3:18

The second point I want to bring up is when we experience uncomfortable emotions, it's really an invitation from our subconscious and unconscious programming to let us in on what's going on beneath the surface. So we spend so much of our time squashing down our feelings that we don't even know they're there and we kind of just build up like this armor of resistance in general as an approach to life, sort of like low intensity, mild, just resistance to everything, and it becomes a way of life and it creates its own issues because we're not really addressing why it's there. Usually it's there because it's been there for a very long time. It's something that we learned at a very early age. It's part of our programming of how we react when we get triggered and when things don't go the way that we want them to. So becoming aware of what's going on in there is really important because, no matter what you say or do, no conscious thoughts or actions are going to speak louder than your unconscious programming. In our book, the Right Questions, debbie Ford calls these hitting commitments. So this is why we sabotage ourselves all the time, because we think we want something, but beneath the surface there's something else, another part of us that doesn't want it at all, because it's scared and it doesn't feel like it's safe and it wants to stay small and hidden, because that's the way brains work. So it's really important to understand how you're feeling, because it's giving you messages, it's giving you a gift, it's making you aware of something that's beneath the surface that you might not otherwise know is there.

Speaker 1: 5:12

And then the third reason why energy and why it's so important to be aware of how you're feeling is because of energy and universal law. So we often hear people talking about the law of attraction. And the law of attraction is you know, you want to maintain a frequency, a higher frequency, with a solid belief foundation, a sense of feeling that you're going to get what you want. It's coming to you and really believing in that and staying in that frame of mind. Now, when it doesn't happen right away, it's really hard to stay in that frame of mind. And I just want to point out that law of attraction is really that's just a part of it, because law of cause and effect means you have to actually take an action to get that result. So law of attraction on its own isn't really going to do a whole lot for you. It might make you feel better, but not if you're like spiritually bypassing something to just try not to deal with it. So sometimes we have to go through the muck and we have to go into the darkness to get to the other side. Sometimes we can just change the thought and feel better right away. We know the difference when we start to do this work. So I've given you three reasons why how you feel matters on a regular basis. The first one is because it determines the results you have in your life, based on the think fill act cycle. The second is it's an invitation for you to uncover subconscious and unconscious programming and hitting commitments that are creating your reality. So, yes, the think fill act cycle is important and it's effective when the subconscious programming is inviting it. But if it is, you need to know what's in there and what's happening. And then the third we want the universal laws to work with us, not against us. So we want to keep that in mind whenever we're doing any of the work. And there's other laws I can bring into this right now, but I'm just going to keep it at law of attraction, to keep the episode a little bit briefer, more concise and being mindful of your time and what I'm trying to achieve in this episode.

Speaker 1: 7:26

So I told you at the beginning that I have a tool that I created and it's in my course Mastering Brain BS for Success and it's called primary state of mind. So what we do is we do a brain drain of all the thoughts that are going on in our mind and give a moment and we just I like listing them. You can write them in any format you want. That's a part of the work. Also, you have to do what works for you, not necessarily what works for me. So I do a list of all the emotions.

Speaker 1: 7:58

Well, actually, kind of for this exercise, you have to do a list because you're I'm going to ask you to do something else too. So you, you put a list of all all the thoughts that you're having about your, your primary state of mind, and give a moment when you sit down to do this. You could pick a particular topic, if you want, or you could keep it just in general, about whatever is happening for you that day. And then, after each thought, I want you to go back and I want you to take your time with this. This isn't something that you rushed through. I want you to really think about what feeling comes up for you when you think that that and by feeling I mean an emotion, and it's one word. So we're not gonna say I think I feel because that's a thought.

Speaker 1: 8:42

We're actually gonna pick one emotion and I'm gonna attach a handout in the show notes it's a handout from my course so that you can actually do this exercise on your own after this episode, if you're inspired to do it. So you're gonna write down an emotion next to that and then you're gonna look and you're gonna find what your top three emotions are, and that's what I call primary state of mind. So for me, like as an entrepreneur, I've done this exercise and the top three emotions could be like fear, doubt and uncertainty. Well, as you can imagine, that's not really gonna inspire me to take a lot of action, and it's probably gonna keep me small and safe and hidden, and it's not really how I wanna show up to my business. That being said, though, sometimes that's just the way it is, cause that's life, life's 50-50,.

Speaker 1: 9:36

We are not gonna be happy all the time. We are here to experience all the emotions, not just the positive ones. We're led to believe that, when we do experience the uncomfortable emotions, that something has gone wrong and we need to figure it out so we can get back to feeling better. But that's not actually how it works okay. So we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable, which is a part of this work too. So once we recognize what the primary emotions are, then I'm gonna ask you to do something else.

Speaker 1: 10:06

I created this thing called fear factor. So F is feeling. So I want you to put the emotion that you described one of your top three in the F line and then below it you're gonna put in E and that's for evaluation and what I want you to do here. This is all about the mind-body connection. I want you to feel what that emotion feels like in your body. I want you to actually feel it Like. Sometimes people describe them with colors, textures.

Speaker 1: 10:39

Whether the emotion moves or not, whether it's vibrating or it feels solid and heavy, whatever it is, I want you to come up with your own vocabulary and your own way of describing how emotions fill in your body. And if it's really hard for you to do that, I just want you to imprint it on your mind, what it feels like and get very familiar with that feeling. And then we're gonna go to that A line which is below that. So you have F feeling, e evaluation, and then A is assessment. And what I want you to do here is I want you to assess how does this emotion impact your life? How does it impact who you hang out with and who you don't hang out with, what you try to do and what you avoid doing, get really familiar with what this emotion is doing to you in your life, because I promise you, it's having a huge impact. And then I want to go to the R line. Okay, the R line is reframing it.

Speaker 1: 11:40

We often think, as I said before, that these emotions are negative and they're a problem, but they're not. So R is for reframing the emotion and finding the message in it. What could our body because that's what our body's doing when we have an emotion and we fill it in our body our body, which is our subconscious and unconscious programming, is trying to send us a message about something that we are not aware of, that we have a blind spot around, and it's trying to get us to look at things differently. Once we're able to actually accept that the emotion's there, reframe it and find the gift in it, in the message, it makes it a lot easier to feel the emotion, which is the last part of it.

Speaker 1: 12:24

So when I did the fear factor around my business, it became evident to me that I had all this anxiety and fear and uncertainty a few years ago because my nervous system wasn't ready for success yet. So I was trying to take all these actions and do all these bold things, but it wasn't my time yet. Divine timing definitely has a place in all this. So when I realized that, I stopped everything, I stopped trying to sell, I stopped trying to get coaches, and I went inward for a deep dive into really getting to understand my subconscious and unconscious programming. I did that by studying human design and by the gene keys. Had I not gone through everything, had I not reframed it and I had not realized what my body was trying to tell me, I could have just like beat the crap out of myself trying to be successful in this business and there's no way it would have ever happened because my subconscious programming was not on board. Does that make sense? This is it's actually a beautiful thing uncomfortable emotions, even though it doesn't feel like it.

Speaker 1: 13:31

But the second part of the primary state of mind is, once you realize the emotions that you have, the impact that it's having on you, what it feels like in your body, so you can recognize it quicker the next time it shows up. Then you have to get like good at feeling the emotions, and you could do that all kinds of different ways. One of my favorite ways to do it for when I'm not in the mood to meditate and I don't want to just be still and I don't want to just lay there is I turn on the voice, the blind additions, those blind additions, and seeing that families there supporting the person who's up there, the courage it takes to go up on that stage and sing in front of all those people and it bring your gifts to the world to be rejected or accepted. I mean it, just it. That's kind of what I'm doing with my business, so it really moves me and it can get me falling and then, after I start falling, I let go. Well, I don't really have to let go of it, because it's such a positive thing in the voice. I just go with it. But then my mind just like I just start falling in my mind becomes empty. It's the craziest thing. I don't even attach to the story of why I started crying in the first place. I just let it go and I felt so much lighter and better after Now.

Speaker 1: 14:50

You could do this in a meditation to, where you lay down and you think about something really sad that's impacted you, something that's really difficult for you, and you get the tears and the emotions or whatever feelings it is that come up. It could be anger or whatever and then you feel those feelings and you let go of the story then too, and you become the observer of your mind. You don't buy into it, you don't. You don't get attached to the story, you just feel the emotions and let it go through you. Brook Kisio says that emotion is just a vibration in your body and it is. But it's more than that. When we resist it and we don't acknowledge that it's there, it can be a vibration in the body and it can be temporary. But in order for that to happen, we have to feel it and let it pass. So I just want to.

Speaker 1: 15:39

I want to review what we talked about today. I try to keep it as short and sweet, to the point, so that you can really implement what I'm talking about here. So it's really important. What you're thinking Okay, the Think, feel, act or Cycle is super important determines your results. It's also really important to understand your subconscious and unconscious programming, what it feels like in your body and the message that your mind embody. Your China's end to you. Universal Law is important always, because you always want to have the laws work for you and not against you, which is why I am going to be bringing in an episode on Universal Laws every month this year so that we can incorporate it into the work and make you aware of it.

Speaker 1: 16:25

And then, once you are aware of why it's so important, then you have to deal with those feelings. You have to figure out what's it all about. So that's when you use the tool I call Fear Factor to figure out what it is based on your primary state of mind. And then the last handout I'm going to put two in there, because the other handout they're kind of they're together in the course but they're actually on separate handouts. So there will be two handouts in the show notes and the first one will be the Fear Factor and the second one will be how to feel the uncomfortable emotions.

Speaker 1: 16:59

I hope you enjoyed the podcast episode today and I hope you'll consider sharing it with other people.

Speaker 1: 17:04

What I talk about on the podcast can be really beneficial to a lot of people who are suffering out there, who don't realize they're doing it to themselves with their brain BS.

Speaker 1: 17:13

So if you value what I'm teaching, I would really appreciate it if you would go to the show notes and click on the link to follow the podcast and write a favorable review. That will make it way easier for me to reach more people with this work, and I'm on a mission to do that because I really do believe that living consciously can solve a lot of our problems. So I know you learned something valuable here today. I'll see you next episode. Check out my website at wwwbrainbscom, where you can find a blog post that will accompany this episode every week with the call to action, so that you can actually learn how to implement what you learn here. I am also looking for people who are willing to participate in brain BS experiments and I can answer any questions you have. You can email me at mkcogellochmailcom or schedule a connection call with me on the home page of my website. See you next episode.