In this episode I experiment with Shawn Poindexter who thought his career path was going to be as an NFL player for the San Francisco 49ers. Turned out the Universe had a different plan in store for Shawn so he has to work through the disappointment regarding what he thought his life would be like and deal with the uncertainty of what his future is going to be.
The unexpected turn of events that Shawn has experienced required us to dig deeper and look at his internal programming that sabotaged him and led to injury in the first place. In order to find purpose beyond the playbook, Shawn has to understand why his life is the way it is today, fully accept it, and learn how to consciously create what it is he wants moving forward.
Throughout our conversation, Shawn offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the highs and lows of an athlete's mental landscape. As we touch on his coaching experiences at Santa Barbara High School and his private business where he coaches 1:1, he brings an authentic perspective on the impact of football in shaping young lives and shares some of his concerns about why he does not want his own son to play when he gets older.
As the conversation progressed, behavioral patterns and hidden commitments emerged that are now showing up in Shawn's attempt to become a successful real estate agent. The good new is though, Shawn is ready to learn the lessons the Universe is trying to teach him.
As you listen to this episode, I invite you to reflect on your own path in life where something unexpected happened that was super disappointing and you had to make a pivot. Have you learned the lesson from it or do you have your own pattern of behavior that keeps showing up and holding you back?
Check out the blog post that goes with this episode that will give you a call to action so you can actually implement what you learn here. Click on link right below this.
https://www.thebrainbs.com/post/when-life-requires-you-to-pivot
This is Shawn's contact information if you are inspired to learn more about him.
shawn@villagesite.com
Click on the platform of your choice to follow the podcast and write a review so we can spread the news and reach more people!
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/4RWxW7Ni1EHTAywriOwY9z?si=d9c181834529414d
Google Podcasts
https://podcasts.google.com/search/The%20Brain%20BS%20Podcast
Amazon Music
I Heart Radio
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-brain-bs-podcast-learn-76710324/
Pandora
https://www.pandora.com/podcast/the-brain-bs-podcast-learning-to-live-consciously/PC:60845
If you want to get in touch with me
https://www.thebrainbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/maureen.kafkis.52
In this episode I experiment with Shawn Poindexter who thought his career path was going to be as an NFL player for the San Francisco 49ers. Turned out the Universe had a different plan in store for Shawn so he has to work through the disappointment regarding what he thought his life would be like and deal with the uncertainty of what his future is going to be.
The unexpected turn of events that Shawn has experienced required us to dig deeper and look at his internal programming that sabotaged him and led to injury in the first place. In order to find purpose beyond the playbook, Shawn has to understand why his life is the way it is today, fully accept it, and learn how to consciously create what it is he wants moving forward.
Throughout our conversation, Shawn offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the highs and lows of an athlete's mental landscape. As we touch on his coaching experiences at Santa Barbara High School and his private business where he coaches 1:1, he brings an authentic perspective on the impact of football in shaping young lives and shares some of his concerns about why he does not want his own son to play when he gets older.
As the conversation progressed, behavioral patterns and hidden commitments emerged that are now showing up in Shawn's attempt to become a successful real estate agent. The good new is though, Shawn is ready to learn the lessons the Universe is trying to teach him.
As you listen to this episode, I invite you to reflect on your own path in life where something unexpected happened that was super disappointing and you had to make a pivot. Have you learned the lesson from it or do you have your own pattern of behavior that keeps showing up and holding you back?
Check out the blog post that goes with this episode that will give you a call to action so you can actually implement what you learn here. Click on link right below this.
https://www.thebrainbs.com/post/when-life-requires-you-to-pivot
This is Shawn's contact information if you are inspired to learn more about him.
shawn@villagesite.com
Click on the platform of your choice to follow the podcast and write a review so we can spread the news and reach more people!
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/4RWxW7Ni1EHTAywriOwY9z?si=d9c181834529414d
Google Podcasts
https://podcasts.google.com/search/The%20Brain%20BS%20Podcast
Amazon Music
I Heart Radio
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-brain-bs-podcast-learn-76710324/
Pandora
https://www.pandora.com/podcast/the-brain-bs-podcast-learning-to-live-consciously/PC:60845
If you want to get in touch with me
https://www.thebrainbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/maureen.kafkis.52
This is Maureen Kafka, as the brain BS coach, here to tell you about the episode today. But before I get to that, I want to remind you that the brain BS podcast is here to offer you a psycho, spiritual approach to life that will inspire you to live consciously and make your overall health a priority. Well, it can enhance your quality of life dramatically. It is not meant to be a replacement for a needed intervention. So if you are struggling with your physical, emotional or mental well being, please seek the professional support that you need, alrighty. So let's talk about the episode this week. So in this episode I am beginning an experiment called the Sean experiment, and I say beginning. It's only one episode in the podcast Now. We might do a follow up on after, but I call it beginning because he also signed up for the course and community. So this session, this, this hour that we spend together, is just really the beginning of our work together, but it gives him a foundation and a framework of what it is he most needs to work on. To begin, like what Laura, who's done, calls the domino effect, where you start to improve one aspect of your life for one area of your life, and then it has a ripple effect on all the other ones. So Sean is someone that I met when my husband and I were out on bike rides and we stopped to look at a house and he just started a career in real estate. So we started chatting with him. I really liked him and I followed my intuition which is what I do on a regular basis and I invited him to come on the podcast to share his story, because I thought it was interesting and compelling and I don't have that many young men that come on the podcast and I would love to have more men come on and share their story. And I think you're really going to enjoy meeting Sean and I think you're going to really find the episode beneficial. So sit back and settle in for this episode called the Sean experiment. It all begins with self acceptance. Do you want more out of your life, but not exactly sure what that might be? Are you longing for something but can't quite put your finger on what it is? That is the universe speaking to you and it is time to listen up. I'm your host, maureen Kafka, the brain BS coach.
Speaker 1:I created the brain BS podcast to help people define what success means to them and show them how to get it. I help you to let go of fear and doubt and prepare your nervous system for success. I show you how to understand your own energy and to trust yourself to make all the decisions. If you are ready, go inward and stop looking outside yourself for all the answers. This is the podcast for you. Now let's get started. Hello and welcome back to the brain BS podcast. This is an exciting episode today because, first of all, we're talking to a football player and I love sports and we're also doing a brain BS experiment and we're doing it kind of different. We're experimenting, and he's being courageous enough to do that with me, so I'm really happy to have Sean Poindexter. I said that right, didn't I?
Speaker 2:Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1:Yes, sean, and he calls me ma'am. Sean Poindexter here, and I met Sean because Bob and I were riding around on our e-bikes and we went and checked out this house, where we saw an open house and he was working there with the real estate agent and we started talking and, of course, immediately I wanted him to come on the podcast and talk to him because of his story. So, before we go any further, let's let Sean say hello and then, sean, you can let the audience know whatever you want them to know about you.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for having me, marina, I appreciate it. Hello everybody, I hope that you guys can take a little bit of knowledge from Maureen through my experience, and hopefully it helps you navigate through whatever is going on in your life and whatever you're trying to achieve.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, that's very generous. So I'm thinking, before we go into what your story is. I'm wondering what it feels like, because most people that I talked to about coming on the podcast are very nervous. They're worried they're going to sound stupid or they're going to say something they shouldn't have said. So can you be honest and just let us know how you're feeling right now? And you might not feel that way. So, however you feel is fine.
Speaker 2:I'm always pretty nervous to answer questions, especially live on recording. I've had some experience in the past with my athletic background but you know, oftentimes I fumble my words and nobody likes hand themselves do that, and so it could be a little nerve wracking to want to try and portray what you're saying correctly. So there's definitely some nerves but also some excitement to learn and understand how to grow through things that we struggle with.
Speaker 1:Good and I love it because you're at the perfect place, because here at the BrainBS podcast, we are not a quest for perfection. I make mistakes all the time. I was thinking about this today in preparation of talking to you on this topic, because sometimes they listen back and I'm like, oh, you talk too much, oh, you kind of talked over them, oh, and it kind of makes me cringe. But I'm like, oh well, I'm a human with the brain, I'm not perfect. I'm going to do better in some episodes and worse in other ones, and it's all. It's really not about being perfect and what you say on the podcast, it's about having the courage to show up and actually speak and get your voice where people can listen to it. It's not. We spend most of our lives hiding and trying to stay small and safe. So this is going to be great for you and I. So all right.
Speaker 1:So you talked about your athletic career, and so let's start with. We were talking to Shine and we found out that he used to play for the 49ers and we were so excited. And then 49ers. You know we're recording this today, after the Super Bowl, so didn't turn out the way, sean Monitor, I wanted. But why don't you tell everyone about, like maybe when you realized what your career was going to be like and how it got started, and then what happened?
Speaker 2:So I really picked up football my senior year in high school. I was neglecting the play. I didn't really like the physicality of the sport, and so when it came time to sign a commitment to go play for a college didn't quite have the offers that I wanted. So I ended up wasting time and blessing tables for a long time about a year and a half and then I decided to play football again.
Speaker 1:Well, that's not there. That's not there Because when you say wasting time, that's like your mind thinking it was wasting time, but your nervous system needed time to figure out what you were going to do. So we're not always ready to take action. Sometimes we have to wait until everything aligns, like timing is everything. So it might have been that your intuition was just telling you it wasn't time yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so I just point this out, because the way we talk about ourselves and the way we are mindset is really important and you're kind of like pushing aside, like you kind of made a mistake with that and maybe you didn't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think, like reflecting on it and listening to what you're saying, is it was more of a pride issue because I didn't want to play at a community college. I thought I was too good for that.
Speaker 1:Oh, OK. Now we're getting to the nudie grid.
Speaker 2:And then I ended up busing tables and then, long story short, I ended up enrolling. I went at a junior college and, you know, doing what I was too prideful to do initially, and so that's kind of where I said wasting time, but it's, I guess, growth, you know, growing up in return.
Speaker 1:You had to realize that you didn't want your ego to get in the way of doing something, and sometimes that takes a little bit of time. But let's also address the fact that you didn't even start playing football until you're senior year of high school. So were you playing in other sport?
Speaker 2:I was a basketball player and a volleyball player, predominantly.
Speaker 1:OK, yeah, can you tell?
Speaker 2:the audience. How tall?
Speaker 1:you are Six, five, yeah, yeah. So he's a big, he's a tall boy, so OK, so I I just think it's amazing that it was senior year before you decided to play. Then you got drafted or you got accepted into a junior college and then and then did you stay. How did you get? How did you get to the next level?
Speaker 2:So I ended up getting an offer to the University of Arizona where I played three years and then I was an undrafted free agent to the 49ers back in 2019. And I spent a year and a half with the Niners on the roster.
Speaker 1:OK, how was that?
Speaker 2:It was a very exciting experience but also very like nerve wracking, especially coming in as an undrafted free agent, because I didn't quite know where I was going to fit in and I again had the pride and ego of not wanting to be on the practice squad. But that's kind of where I was in my development of my career, so there was a lot of struggles and issues with it as well. So very exciting but also very nerve wracking at the same time.
Speaker 1:OK. So you like, when you go into something new and you don't have like, did you feel like you didn't have like by being a free agent and not drafted like you felt like you weren't the same caliber as the other, or was it again? You're like the opposite? You thought that you deserve more and you weren't being recognized the way that you should.
Speaker 2:I believe that I deserve more opportunity. But at the same time, when somebody is drafted, there's a lot of stock behind them and so more opportunities given to them because more money has been invested. And that's not to say that they weren't incredible players, it's just that, you know, it's just kind of how the game works.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and also it's like, makes me think that there could be some brain BS there around all that. But I don't know this, this process, well enough to point out what that would be. I would imagine and you just kind of touched on it that some players are just really good.
Speaker 1:And it's not just that they have backing, but I'm sure there's some situations where the backing like so, once again, nothing's usually all or nothing, so there's like a little bit of both going on. So you are so okay. Isn't this funny, though, because often, when we wish for something and we really want it and then we get it, we freak out because it's like, oh my God, like I'm here and now I actually have to like put up or shut up or whatever. So when you started playing with some of these athletes that have been around for you know what was that like? Was it fun or intimidating or what?
Speaker 2:It was very surreal. Richard Sherman was my favorite player. Yeah, I started watching football and he was on the team when I had gotten to San Francisco real nice, kind and funny guy. But when it was time to line up against him there was a little bit of intimidation, like this guy's all pro. You know, we'll see if he ends up in the Hall of Fame, I don't see why not. So there was a little bit of intimidation lining up against him, but also the want to. Okay, if I could beat this guy, I could beat anybody. So there was a balance between the two of them. I can see how that's not beneficial, because I wasn't necessarily playing unconscious and I think that that's what you have to do as an athlete in order to succeed at the highest level.
Speaker 1:So Well, so what position did you play?
Speaker 2:I was a wide receiver.
Speaker 1:Okay. So so you get into the pros and you're thinking that this is the way you're going to make a living and, I would imagine, pretty excited about the amount of money that can get paid to an NFL football player.
Speaker 2:Yes, for sure About question.
Speaker 1:And I think I talked to us a little bit about the money part.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, so my situation was a little bit different. I kind of touched on that earlier. I was an undrafted free agent. So when you sign, you don't initially sign for a lot of money, you're signing for an opportunity. The money comes when you make the 53 man roster in the fall. And so I really saw football as a means to change my life and where I had come from. I grew up with just my father and my three brothers and I shared a room my entire life. Oftentimes, you know, there was wasn't food in the house and the power wasn't on every mound then. So I saw football as a means to okay, I don't ever have to deal with that again, and so that's part of my drive with playing football. And then you know, once you're in football anyone that's played knows it's a very different feeling to be on the field running around versus any other sport.
Speaker 1:So it's something special I think it really.
Speaker 2:Looking at it, it's most likely the adrenaline that's going on and a way to let some aggression out too.
Speaker 1:So yeah. So I'm going to ask you a personal question. If you don't want to answer it, you don't have to. But was your mom in the picture at all, or did you lose your mom, or did your parents divorce?
Speaker 2:My mom was in the picture. I think that my parents were just very young when they had me and all my brothers and my mom sort of dealt with abandonment issues from her mother, and so she was in and out of the picture. She was always in communication, but oftentimes it, you know, could have been a month or two before we spoke or saw each other. So yeah, so your dad was your, your dad was your mom. Yes, my dad was the rock.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, like I really want to bring this up because I think it's super important, because we all assume it's going to be the mom that's going to be the rock, like. That's like the society is always. Like you know, you need your mother and mothers. I definitely appreciate all of you and I loved my mom and I love being a stepmom, but I think it's important to take note that it's not actually the gender that makes someone a high quality parent. It's the person who's going to be there day in and day out to and isn't it interesting, too, that your mom dealt with abandonment in her own way? She didn't abandon you, but she wasn't able to actually be there for you all the time, which I'm sure has to do with her subconscious and unconscious programming, because she didn't have that herself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. And that's what's kind of rekindled our relationship now that I'm growing up and understanding the world a little bit better, you know, because for a while I was upset at my mom. But you know, people are oftentimes a product of their environment, so the forgiveness is definitely there. And then also my dad my dad's dad wasn't there for him and he made it up in his mind that he wasn't going to be the same way. So hats off to him for pushing back on that stereotype and actually yeah, I just got total goosebumps when you said that.
Speaker 1:Actually, yeah, so, and I also think it's a beautiful thing that your dad did do that and he had the opportunity to do that, and now you're in a position where you're open enough to forgive your mom and rekindle a relationship Like that's what life is, that's how life unfolds, right? Nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes, and this is not to say to anyone in the audience. If you have a horrible parent, I'm not suggesting that you have to do anything with them. I'm just saying that sometimes we, usually if somebody hurts us, it's because they're struggling with something. It's not because they're just a mean, selfish person. You know, it's like usually they're struggling with their own inner demons and it's not really anything to do with us. And then there's exceptions to that, for sure. Okay, so you, you're playing. So did you get to play?
Speaker 2:So I played my first preseason game with the Niners and then my second preseason game, my 12, my ACL, yeah. So then I didn't play the entire 2019 season, or 20. I didn't play the entire 2019 season. I spent the year on injured reserve. Only enough. I did get to be at the Super Bowl in 2020 and we played down in Miami. So I experienced the Super Bowl loss in person. Oh that's cool.
Speaker 1:No, at least you got to be at a Super Bowl.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did get to be at the Super Bowl and I didn't have to pay for a ticket because they're expensive. But then after that I rehab, came back and spent five weeks on the practice squad and got re-injured. That was pretty much the end of my time there in San Francisco.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I'm curious because so that there's a mind-body connection with everything. So I'm just like, and the fact that you got injured is is making me think, like what's coming up for me was that there was, maybe there was a part of you that wasn't ready for what was what was going to be expected of you to really like rise to the cream of the crop in this and this, and maybe there's a party that didn't want to deal with, like the one that didn't want to go to the community college is the one that didn't think they should be on the practice squad, because often, like that energy or unconscious, hidden energy, speaks way louder than any conscious thoughts we have. So, and you said before that you didn't like the physicality of this board and that's why you weren't drawn to it- yeah.
Speaker 1:So what do you think? That there's always a party you that didn't like this board or was worried about getting injured?
Speaker 2:So I think you hit the nail on the head and I guess I didn't open it up but open up about it. But it wasn't about the physicality, because I always tell my boys that play football it's like fake it till you make it, and that was what it was for me. I didn't necessarily like the physicality, even though I was a physical person, and then I would fake it and then finally, you know, I didn't care about it, it didn't bother me. But the part of me that subconsciously, I would say, could technically be the cause for my injury was we were in Denver and I was really struggling with the opportunities that were being given to me as an undrafted free agent.
Speaker 2:I couldn't really let go of that because I saw myself deserving more opportunities and wasn't quite getting them because of the politics that are involved with being a draft pick and being a veteran, and so I was very restless and Denver for that whole week. I couldn't get sleep. I was struggling with that. And then, come game day, I go through my typical routine of getting warmed up, preparing my mind to go perform, and for some reason I couldn't get into the proper headspace that I needed to be in to perform and I just kept remembering, I just kept praying and asking God I just want peace as all, as peace and peace, and that's it. And then, all of a sudden, I didn't get on the field till the third quarter and by the time the third quarter came I still wasn't mentally prepared. And then, fourth, fifth play, whatever it was from ICO, sorry.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, okay. So I want you to just think about this. You asked the universe, or guys say, universe, god, whatever you asked for peace, you got it. Yeah, I did. That was the end of the political thing, and being warmed up over and stuff.
Speaker 1:But I also, like I know there's other people who are drafted, that are not drafted, that they're going to the football the way you are and they're able to be successful at it. They don't have that same mindset and they're able to wrap their head around success and create a system that can support it.
Speaker 1:And for sure we know it's not the actual process. It's like with anything. It's not the actual situation or circumstance that causes the problem, it's how we approach it and the way we're thinking about it, because our thoughts, eight feelings, and those lead to actions and give us our results. So if you're thinking, oh, this is bullshit, this is all politics, it's never going to work out anyway, you're not going to show up as the same person, as someone who thinks, oh, I got this, I can make this happen. This is not a disadvantage. This might actually even be advantageous to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:So, when you reflect on it now and think back on it and also, like you know, it could be that you were actually never. Well, not, it could be. You were never meant to be an NFL player for life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's exactly what it came down to, and I just met with Laguna Blanca, a fifth grade class, and I was talking to them about my story and they asked me if I was going to let my son play football and I said my hopes is that he doesn't. My goal is to not allow him to play football, because one it's not good for your body and oftentimes I think about playing again. But I watch guys hit their heads and, you know, tear their knees and I'm just like why it's not worth it to me. And I also didn't like who I was as a person. I wasn't faithful to my now wife and so I could have lost out on that relationship. I have a beautiful son. I probably wouldn't till this day.
Speaker 2:Being in a position of highlight made me less of, I guess I would say it made me less, made me care less about the people around me. People were always checking on me, but I was never checking on anybody, and now that I'm no longer playing, I feel like my relationship with people is better. They're not checking on me, I'm checking in on people, I'm seeing how they're doing, and so, yeah, I am grateful for where I'm at in my space. The only thing I miss is the money.
Speaker 2:That's about it yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and also you're not as self-absorbed now because you're not under like that's what I was saying earlier. When we're in stressful situations and we feel like everyone's watching us and looking at us to see how we're going to do, that doesn't bring out the best in us usually, especially if we're scared or we're worried about what they're thinking or we feel like the system set out against us and somehow it doesn't really set us up for success in that way. So also I want to point out to the audience that you are now coaching because you talked about. You said something about talking to your boys, about fake it till you make it, but I know that's not your son, because you're definitely don't like him.
Speaker 1:Which is another whole conversation, because of course we know as your son grows up, he's going to have a lot to say about that.
Speaker 2:For sure, I'm not ready for it, but we have some time.
Speaker 1:Yes, we have some time to get your energy cleaned up around that and get your mind straight about what you want to share with him. But now you're coaching. Where are you coaching? What school is it?
Speaker 2:So I train kids privately and I coach at Santa Barbara High School.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, and how has that been? Is that? Does it feel good? Is it exciting, rewarding, or does it feel like it's not good enough? Thank you, wish you had more.
Speaker 2:So I started the season off and it was a little bit frustrating, showing up day in and day out. To practice it required a lot of time and dealing with other people's kids is not the easiest thing to do, but as the season progressed and relationships developed, it became very rewarding. I was excited to see the boys every day joke and we'd laugh. It would be very fulfilling to see them apply some techniques that we've talked about and be successful with those techniques. So all of that stuff is great, and I know that I'm sort of a hypocrite. I'm coaching but I won't let my son play. It's just a very unique sport in that a lot of kids come from lower income families, so maybe a parent is missing, dad or whoever. You never know who you're going to reach and whose life you're going to change, and so that's kind of what feels me as being a leader to young men.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I love that, and so that's kind of like what I've been like. I'm always like working at my business, figuring out how to reach people, how to inspire them.
Speaker 1:And I just like was doing this yesterday and I was like it's really about teaching people how to live consciously and having a leadership energy so that they could go back and have a ripple effect on their community and their community could be their family, could be their friends, it could be the actual local, you know geographical community. But it really is like it is huge difference when you approach life from leadership energy than it is when you approach it Just from like. So it doesn't sound like the energy that you approach to NFL with was leadership energy.
Speaker 2:No, definitely not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know the difference of what I'm talking about, right? Yes, sure. Yeah, and there's like when you, when you don't have it, there can be like a little desperation and feeling like you are not in control and your fate is being determined by other people.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Right. And then when you're in leadership energy and you're really trusting the process, which is a huge thing to learn. I'm not suggesting anybody can do that like quickly, but when you know when something happens and it doesn't go the way you want it to, that's a universe or God saying no, no, no, you're going down the wrong path. You're not. This is not your path. Your mind took you here, but this isn't where you're supposed to be. You need to go back in this direction and they, they help you and it looks like things are going wrong and that there's problems, but they're not. That's a lot of polarity when we think that there's a problem because we're praying. See like you pray to the universe for peace and the universe gave you peace, but it just wasn't the kind of peace you were looking for.
Speaker 2:You didn't do that what I was looking for?
Speaker 1:No, you're like no, no, no, I mean peace on their field.
Speaker 1:So they're good and I can have this career, but the universe always knows better for us and there's always something better in store, because no amount of money or success that you had as a professional football player would have filled the void that you're trying to fill. We all have voids, right. That's what leads us to this work. No, I don't think anybody would really be interested in coming on here if there wasn't something that they felt just wasn't quite there, that they want to be there, like something, just like sort of avoid, just like a little something missing, but it's never, ever going to come from outside us. So you wouldn't have felt appreciated or as recognized as you should be by anyone until you did that for yourself. And same with me, like we have to recognize ourselves first and we have to really work on the relationship we have with ourselves before we can have that with another person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, without question, that makes perfect sense to, especially being in athletics, because it's like, especially when you're recognized, you just peak, you know, and then the recognition doesn't last long right, because it's just for that moment, and then once it disappears, you're like, okay, I'm seeking it again, and then even if you get recognized at a high extent, eventually it's going to go away and then you're going to be seeking that sort of fulfillment again. And that's what you're talking about as far as they're being a void, right. Like that, all of the outside noise comes from outside, not within, and so it'll never be filled, if I'm hearing you correctly.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 1:So, like the brain BS community in the course. The mastering brain BS for success is all about inward to fill the void. It's not about and then you go inward to fill the void and you get to really understand yourself how your brain's working, how your mind body connection is the relationship that the two have with one another, your relationship with your intuition, if your answer you know, if you're listening to it or all night you do all that and then you learn how to make decisions about everything in a very solid way. That's going to lead you closer to your goals because you're so much more aware. And then, wherever it takes you is where you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1:It might not look like you think it's going to look. It might look way better. So, just for example, it could be that you are never destined to be an NFL football player, but your son is how you're coaching football and you're doing all this over the years. I'm just saying you just have no idea. Or it could be that he's not, but you're going to end up coaching at a higher level.
Speaker 1:You just don't know is what is my point. We get ideas. Even when we get ideas and aspirations and dreams for what we want to do like with my business.
Speaker 1:I want to help a lot of people and I want to be financially successful with it and have all those metrics for success. But I have so many other amazing things happening for me right now and the universe is absolutely right, because no amount of money in my business would replace what's happening for me. Now that my life is like so easy. Right now, everything I want is just coming to me, like all my service providers and doctors, all these things that I was worried about and that matters to me more than money. So not that I don't want money, but the way I'm going to get money is by not worrying about money. If I'm focused on not having it, I'm going to continue to not have it, and when I say that, I mean in my business. So it's like in my case, it's like not my personal life, I'm fine, I'm more than fine in my personal life, but, like in the business you just have, in order to create more abundance for yourself, you have to be in an abundant space inside you.
Speaker 1:And if you're eating yourself up, thinking you're not good enough, thinking life isn't good enough, looking for everything that's wrong, being critical of other people, then you're not really in a place of abundance, you're in a place of scarcity. And then, when you're in scarcity, as universal, I dig, ticked. That's what you're going to attract more of.
Speaker 2:Okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you're not just going to get what you want by changing your frequency and being in an abundant mindset. You then have to actually take actions, but your nervous system has to support the actions so that you don't sabotage yourself because you're freaking out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you have to kind of pace yourself with this work and as you go. So what would you say? This is so. I guess we talked to Sean and I talked about this before. So I just wanted to come on here and have an organic conversation with him and kind of talk about this stuff and get him thinking about all the different possibilities. But, Sean, I'm wondering if there is like one thing that you really wanted to focus on first, because you can't focus on everything, but it's kind of like the same process for everything, the same body connection, the whole thing. But what would you say in your life right now causes you the most dissatisfaction?
Speaker 2:I would say how do you say just being consciously aware or just being consciously aware of where I'm at in my space, what I'm doing? I guess more being present, okay.
Speaker 1:So why do you think it's a problem? We're going to do a dig a little deeper here, right? Because, like we know, like you want to be more conscious, so that's good. But why? What do you think not being conscious has created for you that you don't want?
Speaker 2:Anxiety and stress.
Speaker 1:Okay, there we go. Yeah, so you want. You still want peace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm still looking for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because then you right, and now you're actually going to find it, because you're finally going inward for it. Okay, so is there anything? What, in particular, causes you the most stress and anxiety?
Speaker 2:I would say probably not being where I want to be.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, and where are you? That you don't want to be, that you would rather be.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm right back in like the learning process of my new career. You know I'm not successful in terms of you know what it means to be successful in my career, and so I feel like I'm back at the junior college level, working to get to the NFL again. So even when I was playing football, I was always like a perfectionist and I always couldn't wait to get to the next step. I didn't appreciate where my feet were, as well as even being over critical of myself too. So I could have a coach pat me on the back and tell me good job, and then I could watch film and be like cringing at it, even though I got a compliment for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's what I was talking about. So no validation or recognition from anyone else is really going to work if you don't believe it yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You thought yourself right, so okay. So this is really good, because I'm sure that you're not the only person that's experiencing this, and different, different situations and circumstances cause all of us to have the same emotions. Right, so I didn't play in the NFL and I didn't get my ACL torn and go through the whole process. You did, but I certainly know what it feels like to not feel like I'm good enough, to feel like I should be further along than I am, that things aren't okay the way they are. Something's gone wrong, things should be getting better faster. What's going on? And basically, really, what you're doing is you're rejecting the reality of your situation. You still have them fully accepted that this is where you are now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:And the suffering comes from not accepting where you are. It doesn't come from the fact that all this happened to you, because, if you can trust the process, you weren't going. You were going down the wrong path. Now you're back here again and the universe is like oh, like you're saying, I feel like I've been here before with the junior college. So yeah, because the universe keeps bringing the lessons to us and it will over and over and over again until we get them. So now, here you are, back in junior college, but this time you're going to approach it different.
Speaker 1:You're going to approach your career moving forward like from a different space than you did then, and that's how you create a different outcome for yourself.
Speaker 2:I can already see how just our conversation is going to be beneficial for my career this time, just being more aware and, I guess, not paying attention to the things that I cannot control and focus on what I can.
Speaker 1:Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have. It makes a huge difference. What you focus on is what you bring more of into your life. That's how energy works.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So if you're always thinking that everything it's not good enough, even if you're nice as can be and you are and you're adorable to audience, is very handsome and super nice and really liked him, like right away, has a really nice spirit about him, but it doesn't matter If you've got this unconscious energy that's not cooperating with you, that's always going to speak louder than anything. Yeah, there's no like, just like there's no falling mother nature. There's no falling the universe or God either, like it is what it is. And the way that you know if you're making changes with this work is because the environment around you starts to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You actually bring, and it doesn't happen right away either. So when you start looking at like wanting to manifest things in your life and and creating a different reality, it takes time for the universe or God or energy to catch up with you. So don't think that you're just going to do it and then it's going to come, because this literally three years I've been all in on this stuff and I'm starting to. I'm like look around and I'm like, oh my God, I totally manifested that. Oh my gosh, that's so many great people in Santa Barbara. I absolutely love it here. I'm finally here for the whole winter. This is amazing. And then I keep meeting one amazing person after another and in I love the idea that I can provide a platform for them to come in, you know, to come in to talk, to find their voice and start tapping into their leadership energy and then going and do that with everyone else. So it's just that it all has like a ripple effect when you start doing this work. Am I making sense or am I going over the?
Speaker 2:No, you definitely make sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so all right, so that's. I would say that.
Speaker 2:I would say that I have been manifesting things that I have wanted, but I haven't been focusing my energy entirely in the right direction. You know, does that make sense? Like you mean a?
Speaker 1:specific example. What do you want that you want to do? Can you do that or do you not want to?
Speaker 2:No, I can do that. So, for an example, I trained kids privately and I started that back in 2020. Maybe like 2020 or 2021. I look at where I'm at with the private training sessions now and it has grown and I'm super grateful for the growth that it's had. But my focus on bringing that hasn't always been in the right direction. So I have manifested what I wanted. I'm happy with the direction that it's going and I feel like now that I'm more focused on that, for, like it has been growing rapidly over the last few months. Like I said, it's been a few years and my energy wasn't correct, so, right.
Speaker 1:Right, but, but again, this is the same as you thinking you were wasting time being a busboy. It's nervous system has to catch up with what you're doing. So if you become really successful with this training practice right off the bat, then your nervous system probably wouldn't have supported it. You're already dealing with stress and anxiety.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true.
Speaker 1:Right. So the universe is like no, this is another point that's really important. The universe is not going to give you something you can't handle it. Or, if it does, it's going to take it away Because it's just you. You just can't, you can't handle it. And it wants to take care of you. God universe, it's there to take care of you. It's always working in our favor. It's never working against us. So if you would have grown with it and it could be to like this work that you're going to do, because you want to sign up and you want to do the course and everything that's going to set you up for success with the kids. So do you want to make that your priority? First, that business? Is that something? I mean it's all going to relate around your internal state of mind, but if we want to pick an area to focus on with that, be it. Or is there something else that you would rather?
Speaker 2:Well, it would be that, and then continue to do realtor as well, because, as you know, the kids have school, so the business operates in the morning and in the evening, while throughout the day out We'll be doing my real estate. Yeah, there's they both work hand in hand.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So and then just to explain how I operate, to the fact that you're getting into real estate now and wanting to start a career with that and meeting you and liking you and your energy, and I just trust my intuition and know when I want to do something and when I don't. That part of the reason why I want to do it too was because then it would not only benefit you internally but possibly, you know, we'll put in the show notes or any real estate links or whatever that you have or anything you want to share in there and like with the training and stuff, because the way that I believe is the best way to be successful is like with other people. So I don't I'm not just focused In fact I would say most of the time I'm not focused on myself.
Speaker 1:I'm not focused at all. I'm more focused on how I can help out. That might be why I'm not making as much money as I want, but I don't care because I'm like I'm in a position, the universe put me in a position that, where I don't need it, so I'm able to do that, and we ball these benefits and do all that because that's what I'm set up for. Like, our lives are all designed to be different ways. For you. You're looking for sex, success in real estate, as you know, to be a partial provider in your family. You know, I don't know if your wife works or not, and she does. She has a baby.
Speaker 2:I'm the sole provider. She's that she's takes care of the family. Okay, so it's just a full time job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's important that you have that success. So, anyway, my point is where I think we're all in this together and anytime I can help someone else out, I know that in some way, shape or form, it's going to come back to me because that's law, reciprocity and might not come back from where I gave it, but it's for sure coming back in some way. Some people call that the value bank to value bank.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So when you, when you can get focused and on taking care of those boys that you're taking care of in sports and and taking care of your clients when it comes to real estate, and you really start thinking about what's best for them, that's like what's best for you to and vice on the same note, taking care of yourself first and foremost, to be the best version of yourself that you can be, is the way to have the biggest, most positive impact on anybody else. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that I'm right in line with you as far as like serving, because even when I train kids, I hate charging people, so I don't. I completely disassociated myself with the payment process. I submitted it through other people and there's kids often reach out. They can afford to not always, always be there for kids, despite whatever situation they go into they may be going through, because I know that not everybody has the same opportunities, because I didn't come from a lot of opportunities, so I'm right there with you as far as that goes. I think the part that I miss out on is the taking care of myself.
Speaker 1:You know, yeah you have to be careful to with the money thing, because that could be scarcity and that could be yeah, that could be a money mindset thing that you want to work on. Well, in fact, if you're the sole provider of your family, yeah, you want to work yeah.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is I'm I'm all in for charging money. I'm just in the process of figuring out what. What avenue am I really going down here? It's like it's getting more clear that it's related to the podcast and experiments and doing things in a group setting rather than one on one. But just just know that there's always going to be people who can afford you, so you can find a way to help those people. But you can also still take care of the people who do have the money.
Speaker 1:So I have, like my free podcast that helps people. For people who don't want to spend any money, I made my course in community $100. For people who have a little, and they can come in there and ask questions and interact with other people. And then I have the private coaching. That costs more money but in terms of like, if you looked at other coaches and stuff, I didn't, I I it's still affordable, in my opinion, to people who have more money. But so you have I bring that up that you could take care of all kinds of different people. So you could. You could start a podcast coaching. You could start like do little camps and do them for the people of the less privileged.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm going to do that and you do it like in a group setting and you still have your one on one Training. So it's just anytime. Just just remember that nothing's written in stone or factual, it's all things we're thinking. And that is always subject to change. So you want to Really look at like where did the? And this is what the course does, right it's. Where did I get that thought from? Is that my thought, or did I get that from one of my parents?
Speaker 2:And is it?
Speaker 1:helpful for me to give him my situation and what my goals are? Is it helpful For me to keep that thought about myself? And in your case, it's not helpful for you to keep that thought when you're not wanting to charge and you want to stay in service, like literally.
Speaker 1:That's not here, To work for you like all the time, but I bring, I want to. I just wanted to touch on that because there's so many things that we're doing and then, over the years, because this is a lifetime practice, when I'm talking about here, this isn't something that you can do To achieve a goal, because if you don't keep doing it, you're not going to be able to maintain the goal, because your energy is going to change in the universe is going to take it away again. So it's like it's a lifelong practice what I'm talking about here. But and so I, you just have to be patient. It's like one thing at a time.
Speaker 1:None of this stuff happens fast. Some things can't like. Some things you can just change your mindset and get something and be like, oh my gosh, this is like great. But other things, especially like our core wounds from growing up. Now you have to have a lot of trauma from your mom Not being there. You know about like different things. We all have trauma, even if our mom didn't leave, sometimes we have trauma because our mom did not leave and she wasn't a good mom. You know it's like we all have it.
Speaker 1:So then, as we get older and get more conscious, we just have to really determine. We get to decide who we are. We get to decide who we want to be, and it doesn't have to be like anyone else Our careers, how we spend our time, what we do for fun. We really love ourselves and we really get to know ourselves and take care of ourselves. We don't really care what anyone else thinks about us.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it is very freeing. That's where true peace comes from, when you care more about what you think about you than what anybody else does, and I mean you get to your bones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that's going to be huge too, because that's where I struggle a little bit my real estate career. To touch on that quickly, I don't want to drop any links or anything. I came to truly do work because I'm listening to your podcast and I can see how it can be beneficial, but I do feel out of place in my career right now because I'm so young and so new to it and new environment where there are a lot of people that look like me in this environment too, or top like me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you're in the same thing as junior college and the same thing is when you were on the 49ers in the practice squad.
Speaker 2:Well, there was also like other people there, like six, five, you know same size. They were similar to me, you know. But in the real estate world there's no one that really looks like me or talks like me, and I'm not super knowledgeable either. So there's the brain piece that I'm dealing with too. So accepting myself in the spaces where I want to learn how to do yeah and then make everybody else accept it, whether they like it or not, essentially is what I'm calling for.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, you just have to meet yourself where you are right now and in the two days you're not as knowledgeable as them, and that's okay. It's when you, when you try to hide that, that's when it becomes problematic.
Speaker 1:When you're talking about it and say, oh, I'm just getting started, I'm new with this. Like, what can I learn from you? I'd love to learn from you. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1:It's when we try to hide things that it causes problems. It's something very what's the word I'm looking for? Well, first of all, it feels refreshing. Yeah, even when I do it for myself, it feels refreshing. It's just like oh, yeah, no, I don't have to be perfect. Yeah, I just think terrible and I'm actually going to admit it on the podcast. I'm not going to hide it and I'm going to give other people permission to be imperfect, and it just like fuck up big time. Yeah, and it's not a big deal, and it's because it's not. You can do really horrible things and it's just all part of being a human. Like, sometimes we can cringe, like people will come to me to tell me something they did and think that it's way worse than anything I've ever heard. And it never is. Because you're doing something. I promise you there's a bunch of other people doing it too, because we are all way more like than we are different.
Speaker 2:That's good. I like that. I'm going to keep that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I'm so glad that you came on here today. So wait, just because we're so, I might have you back on and I'll. Maybe I'll have you come back on like after a while, like after you do the course, okay, okay, and then we'll see how the course benefited you in the time and and there's no pressure or rush to do the course, but just like here today, because we just have a few more minutes. Well, did you find this beneficial? Did you get less nervous as we went along? Did you feel like you could trust me to take care of you in the conversation? What was? How did it? Any weird moments for you where you're like, oh, I wish you didn't bring that up.
Speaker 2:No weird moments at all. And yes, I do get less nervous as time went. I didn't realize that I would have gone by so quickly. Yeah, I've always been a big note taker and I have so many great points and great words that you gave me to reflect on now and just to digest them. I know that if I continue to practice them, I'll be in a better space, without question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I have the AI, the Fathom AI, so you're going to get a whole summary. So you didn't really have to take notes because it took them for you, but it'll be interesting to see what you took notes on versus what it sends to you, since it's artificial intelligence Well, I don't know, it's like I just started using it, but I find it very helpful. Yeah, okay, so you're going to do the course. Your assignment is to learn how to meet yourself where you are, accept the reality of your situation and focus on what you have in all the abundant things that you have going on, and not on what you don't have. How do you personally make your daily ritual?
Speaker 2:Is it first thing in the morning or is it when thoughts pop up and then you speak to yourself? Well, it's not a quick fix, so I can't give you an answer right here on the podcast about how to do it.
Speaker 1:But it is in the course, but it really isn't close. It's closer to the end of it. How to develop a daily practice, because before you start making things better, you kind of have to go into the dark side a little bit, to the things about you that you don't like, to learn how to embrace them and realize they're really not a problem at all. So that's what the course is.
Speaker 1:It makes you what the course does first, the first half of the course is about getting you to understand why you have what you have right now, and then the second part of the course is about helping you to get what you want. And you'll be in a totally different frequency than your energy Everything Because you mid course you start like really loving yourself and then when you go after what you want from that space, a feeling confident like you're capable that you could be your authentic self and be open and honest.
Speaker 1:Then that's when you start to get what you really want. Okay, yeah, you can't give the answers to the test you got to go in word first.
Speaker 2:Everybody wants a quick fix, but it doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 1:I hear you, wouldn't it be nice?
Speaker 2:All right, well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and doing a brain BS experiment.
Speaker 1:I appreciate it. Yes, thank you for having me. I appreciate you.
Speaker 2:All right audience. I know you learned something valuable here today.
Speaker 1:I'll see you next episode. I hope you enjoyed the podcast episode today and I hope you'll consider sharing it with other people. What I talk about on the podcast can be really beneficial to a lot of people who are suffering out there, who don't realize they're doing it to themselves with their brain BS. So if you value what I'm teaching, I would really appreciate it if you would go to the show notes and click on the link to follow the podcast and write a favorable review. That will make it way easier for me to reach more people with this work, and I'm on a mission to do that because I really do believe that living consciousness is a way to help others.
Speaker 1:I believe that living consciously can solve a lot of our problems. So I know you learned something valuable here today. I'll see you next episode. Check out my website at wwwbrainbscom, where you can find a blog post that will accompany this episode every week with the call to action, so that you can actually learn how to implement what you learn here. I'm also looking for people who are willing to participate in brain BS experiments and I can answer any questions you have. You can email me at mkcogellocmailcom or schedule a connection call with me on the homepage of my website. See you next episode.