Ever feel like your emotions are hijacking your success? In this episode I share the stages of how I process my emotions when I get triggered and go from feeling anxious and panicky to calm, centered and grounded. I take you through the four different stages that begin with dwelling in negativity to becoming a lit up leader and show you why it is important to make Universal Law work in your favor. This isn't just about coping – it's about thriving and creating the life you want on purpose.
As I guide you through the stages, I will also share how Human Design and the Gene Keys have played a pivotal role in my personal growth. Becoming more aware of my feelings and cultivating a strong mind/body connection is the golden key to unlocking a life of abundance. I'll share some of the tools I use to avoid wasting time in a funk and experiencing needless suffering . It might not seem like it all the time, but the Universe is ready to back you up on your journey, and I'm here to show you how to tap into that support, especially when you are not getting the results you desire.
I'm sharing this process and strategies here because I know how exhausting it is to dwell in negativity for long periods of time. Now that I have figured out a way to get out of this state , I must share it with all of you. Life is so much better when you spend more time in stage 4 and less time in stage 1. That is also the reason I am creating a community where leadership and followership coalesce harmoniously; so the followers have leaders, and the leaders have followers.
One thing you can be sure of as a human with a brain, is that you are going to get triggered over and over again as long as you are alive. When you cultivate awareness around that and develop a process for working through those uncomfortable emotions, you will get to enjoy a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
If that doesn't inspire you to listen, I don't know what will:)
I mentioned a few people in the episode that help me through the process of being triggered. Click on the links to learn more about them.
Kathy Bashonko for Intuitive Human Desgin
https://kathybochonko.com/
Miriam Ansely Harper for Akashic Record Reading
https://www.miriamansleylifecoach.com/
Mary Wall for Relationship with Alcohol
https://www.facebook.com/mary.wall.9047
You can click on these links to learn more about me
https://www.thebrainbs.com/post/getting-out-of-a-rut-consciously
https://www.thebrainbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/maureen.kafkis.52
https://www.thebrainbs.com/brainbscommunity
Click on the platform of your choice to follow the podcast and write a review so we can spread the news and reach more people!
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/4RWxW7Ni1EHTAywriOwY9z?si=d9c181834529414d
Google Podcasts
https://podcasts.google.com/search/The%20Brain%20BS%20Podcast
Ever feel like your emotions are hijacking your success? In this episode I share the stages of how I process my emotions when I get triggered and go from feeling anxious and panicky to calm, centered and grounded. I take you through the four different stages that begin with dwelling in negativity to becoming a lit up leader and show you why it is important to make Universal Law work in your favor. This isn't just about coping – it's about thriving and creating the life you want on purpose.
As I guide you through the stages, I will also share how Human Design and the Gene Keys have played a pivotal role in my personal growth. Becoming more aware of my feelings and cultivating a strong mind/body connection is the golden key to unlocking a life of abundance. I'll share some of the tools I use to avoid wasting time in a funk and experiencing needless suffering . It might not seem like it all the time, but the Universe is ready to back you up on your journey, and I'm here to show you how to tap into that support, especially when you are not getting the results you desire.
I'm sharing this process and strategies here because I know how exhausting it is to dwell in negativity for long periods of time. Now that I have figured out a way to get out of this state , I must share it with all of you. Life is so much better when you spend more time in stage 4 and less time in stage 1. That is also the reason I am creating a community where leadership and followership coalesce harmoniously; so the followers have leaders, and the leaders have followers.
One thing you can be sure of as a human with a brain, is that you are going to get triggered over and over again as long as you are alive. When you cultivate awareness around that and develop a process for working through those uncomfortable emotions, you will get to enjoy a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
If that doesn't inspire you to listen, I don't know what will:)
I mentioned a few people in the episode that help me through the process of being triggered. Click on the links to learn more about them.
Kathy Bashonko for Intuitive Human Desgin
https://kathybochonko.com/
Miriam Ansely Harper for Akashic Record Reading
https://www.miriamansleylifecoach.com/
Mary Wall for Relationship with Alcohol
https://www.facebook.com/mary.wall.9047
You can click on these links to learn more about me
https://www.thebrainbs.com/post/getting-out-of-a-rut-consciously
https://www.thebrainbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/maureen.kafkis.52
https://www.thebrainbs.com/brainbscommunity
Click on the platform of your choice to follow the podcast and write a review so we can spread the news and reach more people!
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/4RWxW7Ni1EHTAywriOwY9z?si=d9c181834529414d
Google Podcasts
https://podcasts.google.com/search/The%20Brain%20BS%20Podcast
This is Maureen Kafka, as the brain BS coach, here to tell you about the episode today. But before I get to that, I want to remind you that the brain BS podcast is here to offer you a psycho, spiritual approach to life that will inspire you to live consciously and make your overall health a priority. Well, it can enhance your quality of life dramatically. It is not meant to be a replacement for a needed intervention, so if you are struggling with your physical, emotional or mental well being, please seek the professional support that you need. Okay, let's dive into what the topic of the podcast is today. So today I'm going to be sharing the four stages of what happens when you get triggered and how you can make universal law work in your favor when that happens. So the first stage is drawing a negativity. The second one is waking up. The third one is being positive and proactive, and the fourth one is being a lit up leader. What I want for all of you is to live your life in the lit up leader the majority of the time, and that's exactly why I created this podcast episode. So sit back and settle in for making the laws work for you when you get triggered. Do you want more out of your life, but not exactly sure what that might be. Are you longing for something but can't quite put your finger on what it is? That is the universe speaking to you, and it is time to listen up. I'm your host, maureen Kafka, the brain BS coach. I created the brain BS podcast to help people define what success means to them and show them how to get it. I help you to let go of fear and doubt and prepare your nervous system for success. I show you how to understand your own energy and to trust yourself to make all the decisions. If you are ready, go inward and stop looking outside yourself for all the answers. This is the podcast for you. Now let's get started. Hello and welcome back to the brain BS podcast. So today I'm going to talk about getting the universal laws to work for you.
Speaker 1:When you get triggered and I think most of you know what it feels like to get triggered and that it doesn't feel good, but basically it's like when we get into reactive mode and we're automatically just like. Like you know, you're just like, really warmed up. You have a really strong reaction to something. When we get into that space, we are not going to create anything that we want for ourselves. So I'm going to take you through the stages of being triggered, because I have been a lot lately. Whenever we're trying to do something new and different, it's easy to get triggered because we have to go out of our comfort zone, we have to face things about ourselves that maybe we don't like. We can get a little judgy about other people in the process, because that's what I do when I get triggered. That's one of the stages. So we're going to talk about the different stages and then I'm going to kind of weave in how the laws apply to this.
Speaker 1:So the first stage of getting triggered is stage one, and that's like automatic mode and that's like dwelling in negativity. So I get kind of confused. My mind starts to spin in confusion and I feel like something's gone really wrong, almost get a little panicky and I naturally my first instinct is to start picking on my husband and making him the focus of my uncomfortable emotions, blaming him for not doing things, noticing things where he's coming up short, becoming more critical of him and also putting myself in victim mode. Everything is happening to me like why aren't things better than they are? Well, I'll use the example of my business and trying to create a community, because it's challenging, it's difficult. I've never done anything like this before. I'm not sure I should be doing it online. I maybe should be doing it in person. There's all kinds of things that play, but when it doesn't go the way I want it to, this is I get into my head, I get into this negative space and I just dwell in it and you will know when you're triggered and when you're in that space because of the way you feel. It is not a good feeling. I don't think I have to tell you that.
Speaker 1:Now, stage 2, it's a little different for me because even when I'm in that space of stage one, there's a part of me that knows that it's not real and it's just me buying into a bunch of bullshit and it's me trying to protect myself and distract myself from trying to take actions. So I know this because of the work I've done. But the average person wouldn't even know you're in a stage you would just think you're in life and this in a lot of people can stay in this space for a very long time, even for their entire lives, where they think everybody is out to get them, they're critical of everybody else. They feel like a victim of society, victim of the people around them. There's a lot of like self righteousness involved, a lot of judgment and disdain and contempt for other people. I have spent time in this place, a lot of time, and I know how it feels and it doesn't feel good and I want to get out of that space now, as soon as I can, but I don't have to do it as quickly now because I'm comfortable being uncomfortable, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, so we're in stage two. This is where you have to kind of. This is where I wake up and kind of realize oh wait, this is not, this isn't real. And I am Not behaving this way because of anyone else. It's because I'm triggered and and I'm believing something that isn't helpful, becoming aware that what I'm thinking, all these things that I think have gone wrong, all these problems that all of a sudden my brain is presenting me with, I'm I'm starting to wake up and realize that none of it's real. It's just my brain trying to keep me doing the same old, same old and keep me safe and hidden and in the Kif. Now, that's the first part. That's the first part of me.
Speaker 1:Waking up is a realization. It's an intellectual realization that none of it's real. But I still don't fully believe it in my body. And when I say that what I mean is, if you like say you feel heavy and overweight, you can't decide to think I felt thin and beautiful. If you don't really feel thin and beautiful, you had to really believe it, and if you do, then you feel it in your body. But if you're trying to believe something that you don't really believe and you're kind of trying to fool yourself, it doesn't work.
Speaker 1:So the second stage of, or the second part of stage two of, waking up almost always entails me having a conversation with another person, and often because my husband is there the majority of the time and he's my Partner, he's the one I have the conversation with and because he is the one that I usually pick on in the moment, it's because he, I live with him and I spend so much time with him. I Point out to him that I know I'm being mean to you, I know I'm not being kind, I Understand what's going on, this is why I'm doing this, and I tell him all this stuff, and then he almost always says You're just believing your brain BS, that's, that's the only problem. And then somehow, with going through the process and me realizing it Intellectually, first waking up, taking note of what it's creating for me, what it is Causing for me and how it is making me feel, that leads to a conversation and then, when I have that conversation with him, it solidifies. Oh yeah, you're right, this is all bullshit, this is not even real. Until I get to that place, I'm at risk for sabotaging myself and paying attention and honoring hidden commitments that I don't want to be there. So I want to be fully aware, when I'm in this stage, not make it a problem, except that I'm there and go through the process of getting out of it. And this is going to happen over and over and over and over again. As humans, with the brain, we're always going to get triggered and we're always going to get reactive to other people. But we can change how we deal with all of it and we can accept it when it's there and not turn it into a big drama. So then I get to stage three, and stage three is I get back into a space of where I want to be positive again, I want to feel good about myself again, I start practicing self-care again, because when I get into that negative, confusing, spinning energy, the last thing I want to do is exercise or walk or meditate. That's mostly what I need, but that's the last thing I want. It's typically how it works. So I want to get back to being more positive. I want to start creating more abundance for myself. So I go into my toolbox and luckily I've been working on filling and replenishing that toolbox for years now, so I have lots of tools that I can use. I have been this week.
Speaker 1:When it started to happen, I grabbed my human design notes and my GeneKey's notes. I did the Golden Path program so I went through the notes. It's all related to astrology. I have podcast episode on human design in the podcast if you're interested in learning more about it. But I go back to those notes which help me really really understand myself and key, important things to keep in mind in my life my strategy, how I interact with other people, what my strengths are, my weaknesses, just how the best way for me to do things to create success with these in flow. So I look at that stuff and then I zero in on, like one, one of the gates in my human design and I really focus on that and I journal on that and I get into a really good space with that. That starts to make me feel better, which is important, because this is where I want to bring universal law into it.
Speaker 1:When you're spinning in negativity and dwelling in confusion, in a really bad place and picking on everybody else, you are not going to attract what you want. So you're not just all of a sudden going to attract something amazing that's going to make you feel better. You need to figure out how to feel better to attract that something amazing. So it's love attraction. Love attraction is you get what you put out there. So you keep that in mind when you're in this negative space. But also understand that we're not Pollyanna, we're not doing spiritual bypassing here. We are not going to be happy all the time Doesn't mean we're never going to be unhappy, and that we can't stay in a space of negativity for a period of time If it's confusion. That's different than grief or major loss of something else or anger because you've been, you know, really abused by somebody. So we're not talking about trying to feel better fast. We're talking about understanding what you're creating and purposely choosing what's best for you. So sometimes stage one is where you want to stay for a while until you're ready to wake up and see the whole picture and get into stage two and then, once you do that, that's when you're ready to start creating the abundance in stage three.
Speaker 1:So I also do this by booking sessions with my friend Mariam Ansley Harper for Akashic Record readings. That always helps me. I can do something with Kathy Bushonko, who is into human, intuitive, human design, and she did a reading for me about the Saturn return so that I can get really clear on what I'm creating. Or I can talk to Mary Wall, who is someone that I'm working with to change my relationship with alcohol, so that I can get out of a weekend rut of thinking that wine is the main event and focus more on everything else in my life and let the wine be something I just take or leave. So these are all ways to create abundance when you live consciously and you choose to do things on purpose. I've also done raw emotion code.
Speaker 1:I've done meditation is really helpful for me. I love the meditation in the Golden Path program with Richard Rudd in the pathway of service I believe it's in and there's a chant and it's a 30 minute meditation. I always keep that up on my screen on my computer so that I can go to it on a regular basis because it really replenishes me and calms me. So that's typically the first thing I do when I start to get into a state and into it to see and I recognize too, like in my human design. Human design is so huge for me, human design, my sun conscious gate, which is my primary way of living a life, and my purpose is to be still, because when I'm still and I'm present in the moment, that's when everything comes to me, that's when my creativity flourishes and that's where I find the pathway to success. It does not happen when I'm drawing in confusion.
Speaker 1:The other thing I want to point out in terms of universal law is the law of polarity. So here I am. You know my communities don't not growing the way I want it to. Things aren't unfolding the way I want. It's taking longer than I want and I feel like what is going on? Like why isn't this working? I'm not really getting too down on myself or you know, I'm never going to give up, so that's not even in question, but I am collecting data and I'm like maybe I shouldn't be creating a community. It's not growing, I'm not really bringing the people I want in, and then my idea of who I want in the community is starting to change. So what I mean is my it's not unfolding the way I think it should. So here I am.
Speaker 1:I'm like kind of praying to the universe. I'm trying to stay in this space. I'm trying to do everything I should and it doesn't look the way I think. But because I know about law of polarity, I know that it looks exactly the way it should and that there's something in here and the way it looks that's guiding me in the right direction. We often pray for things and when we don't get it, we don't think our prayers are being answered. But the universe always knows way better what's best for us. So it could be.
Speaker 1:My community is not supposed to be online, or it is going to be online, but not before it happens in person, and it could be a timing thing. It could be who I'm trying to focus on. It's all kinds of things, but it has nothing to do with my gift that I'm sharing with the world. I am solid and 100% trusting my gift and then I am meant to be doing this. I would not at the age of 60, when I could have retired and traveled and just had a good time I would not be here if I didn't really believe that this is where I was supposed to be. And I do feel supported by the universe. So here I am, stage three, back in abundance. Yes, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Yes, that was brain BS and I'm just believing it.
Speaker 1:And now here I am, back in stage three, and then I'm ready to go into stage four, and I call stage four lit up leader, and one of the reasons for that is in human design. I'm a projector and I'm here to guide people, but they have to find me. I have to attract them. I can't go out and get them, which is a hard lesson for me to learn, because I have a lot of initiative but I have to stay lit up, grounded in my belief in myself and my energy and my purpose. And then I'm like a lighthouse and people find me because my lighthouse is lit up. That's the kind of energy that is going to help me find success.
Speaker 1:Because another thing in terms of human design as a projector, I need an invitation and I need somebody to work with me. I can't do this work by myself. I'm not like a manifesting generator who can start something, finish something and do it all on my own. I actually need cooperation with other people and I need people who are like minded and who are my people. So I need to be very selective about who I spend time with, who I accept invitations from, and I have to be patient and trust the process. The invitations are coming. They are coming. There's no way they're not coming with everything that I've done in the groundwork that I've created.
Speaker 1:But I have to stay in that place. So that also ties in a lot of attraction. I have to stay in belief and then it comes into law of cause and effect. I stay in that vibration, I stay in that belief and I take actions from that place. So if I'm taking actions from stage one and I'm getting frustrated and upset and I'm trying to sign up for all these things and I'm trying to make all these happening things happening, I'm forcing things and I'm not allowing. That's not going to work because that's not going to get me what I want because of the law of cause and effect.
Speaker 1:What I do has to come from an abundant energy, a positive space, a clean space and an intentional space. And that cannot happen when I'm unconscious in stage one, because that's basically what stage one is and that's why, if you don't learn how to live consciously, you're going to spend the majority of your life in stage one. And those of you who are struggling with that, I don't have to say anything else about it, because you know how awful it is. You know the relentless chatter that can happen in your head, the constant criticism, self-judgment, the constant people pleasing, trying not to rock the boat. It's complete exhaustion to live your life in stage one, and I know that now. So that's why I'm so inspired to take you out of stage one and get you to the lit up leader stage where I am.
Speaker 1:So today, I would say doing this podcast episode and talking about this topic is getting me back into stage four. I'm not quite there yet. I am struggling a little bit, but so what I did today is I signed up for a few things in the local community here. Whenever I keep resisting something, I know that that's what I really need, and I've been resisting going out in the community because I've been thinking that I have to go out there and do cold calls and try to talk people into believing in what I'm saying and buying into what I'm doing and being like this super bold person. But then I remember that I'm a too foreign human design. I'm a fore as an opportunist and networker. That's where I get everything from, that's where I find all my answers, that's where I get my support, that's where I get my energy. So instead of going out thinking that I have to try to talk people into believing in me and buying into what I'm selling, I'm going to go and support other people.
Speaker 1:So I signed up for a group here in Santa Barbara. It's an organization called Communal Table. They have a thing where you can actually go and have dinner and have these meaningful conversations around it. I really wanted to do it. My friend Alice told me about it, but it sold out. But then I noticed that another one of their events is a talkcast. So they get together once a month and they discuss different podcasts and I thought, okay, well, this gives me an opportunity to learn about new podcasts. It gives me an idea of what people are talking about, what they care about. Now I'm not going to go there and say, okay, my podcast should be the next one that you talk about. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to wait for the invitation. I'm going to wait for my relationship to evolve organically with the people in this group and I'm going to see how it unfolds and I'm not going to push it. I'm not going to try to make things happen and I'm going to practice, restrain and wait for the invitation. So signing up for that is good, and then I also signed up. There's a group organization here called Newcomers and Santa Barbara. For anybody who's new to Santa Barbara and listens to this podcast, it's an amazing group. There's like a thousand people in it and it's all people who want to make friends and they want to meet new people and I mean talk about network. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:So I joined a committee called the Mindfulness Committee. Now there's things I would like to do in that committee, but again, I'm taking my time. I'm like back into patience and trust. I don't feel the urgency. I was starting to push things a little bit too much and forcing things a little bit too much, which, again, in terms of universal law, is not going to get me what I want. So here I am.
Speaker 1:I'm in stage four, getting back to stage four and I'm feeling when I get into stage four I stop thinking about myself and I think primarily about other people and what I can do to help them and support them. And I also understand this is where law of reciprocity comes in for me. I also understand that who I help and support may not be who reciprocates that support. I could do all kinds of really good things from people, not hear from them, not really get recognized for it and not get acknowledged for it, and I can totally trust that it does not matter because the universe is keeping track of it. The universe is seeing what I'm adding to my value bank and there's no way it's not coming back to me. So we've kind of talked about Three or four different stages right, the dwelling and negativity and how that's not good for a law of attraction. The waking up part and how it is Intellectual, but you also have to feel it in your body. The third stage, where we're able to get back into a positive space again and actually like it's where we can start being Proactive and kind of go into our toolbox to figure out what's going on.
Speaker 1:And then I get to stage four, which is a lit up leader, which is what I really want for all of you. I started to think about it when I was thinking about why I want to create a community, and it's because I want to create a Space where people take responsibility For other people, where they are in leadership energy and they're capable of doing that. Now that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with people who are not leaders, because I want to be a good leader for the people who need followers. So I want followers and leaders to work together so that the leader has someone to lead and the follower has someone to follow. And when you look into Creating communities, which I'm doing a course on right now, they want me to be more specific. They want me to identify exactly who I want in my community, and I don't have a certain ideal client in my community.
Speaker 1:I and you're not supposed to have it for everyone, and I think, as I talk about this, I might just have to do it my way. I I might just have to do it my way. I'm thinking because I've been reading my notes and when I try to do business like other people, tell me to and Do it the way that other people suggest instead of the way that feels correct to me. It's always gonna cause me problems in yeah duh, that's exactly what's happening to me. So I want to just tell you about one other thing that I use and I call this stage. It's not stage five really, it's more a Tool that I use when I get into the state and it's called primary state of mind and the fear factor. So the primary state of mind is these are both handouts that are in my course, and the primary state of mind tells you why you're.
Speaker 1:I did a podcast episode on this recently. Actually, it tells you why you're feeling the way you are, and then the fear factor is really getting specific. So I did the fear factor this week with the way I was feeling about my business and the spinning and confusion and the negativity in the fear, and I was able to recognize that I am not. I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready to proceed with Hiring this woman that I was gonna hire to help me build a community and I was gonna pair, you know, some money to do that and I know that it's, I know that it's coming, but I just know also that it's not time.
Speaker 1:So I have this, so I have this course, the mastering brain BS for success course that has all these tools in it that you can use that can help you To not spend your life in stage one and help you spend the majority of your life in stage four. If you think that would be of interest to you and something that you want to learn more about, you can schedule a connection call with me. You talk about it. I Also have that community that goes with that, the brain BS community, where you interact as little or as much as you want, but you can actually ask questions there now. Is that community gonna stay the same as it is right now? No, it's not, because the more I learn and the more I grow, it's gonna continue to change. But right now it's a hundred dollars and for a hundred dollars you get the course and the community. I Also offer one-to-one coaching if you want to dig deeper with this, which I love doing and it's really effective and it's a faster way to understand all this information.
Speaker 1:But I'm not sure how long I'm gonna be doing that either and that's not a ploy to get you to. You know, I'm like, trust me, I have a little work to do on marketing and I am doing it. But again, I think my marketing is gonna look different than other people. I just I just can't do it. I can't like round off the prices a little bit lower to make people think they're spending less money. I can't put like a deadline on it so that people feel like I could put a deadline on giving Access to the course to somebody who bought it because that's meaningful. But to try to do it to sell it, it just it doesn't work for me. Okay, so I think that's pretty much all I have for you today.
Speaker 1:So when we get triggered, we we have ways out of getting triggered. I mean really specific, calculated, purposeful, intentional ways, and it's really a good feeling to know that I have that accessible to myself. But just know that no matter how much you do, this work Doesn't matter, you're always gonna get triggered. It's always gonna come back. You're always gonna experience Uncomfortable emotions, but that's okay, because the more you get comfortable being uncomfortable and one of the ways to do that is to learn how to get through the process and how to do it in a proactive way that works for you and that also works with universal laws, and when you have that, then it's not such a big deal when you get triggered. All right, audience.
Speaker 1:I know you learned something valuable here today.
Speaker 1:I'll see you next episode.
Speaker 1:I Hope you enjoyed the podcast episode today and I hope you'll consider sharing it with other people.
Speaker 1:What I talk about on the podcast can be really beneficial to a lot of people who are suffering out there, who don't realize they're doing it to themselves with their brain BS.
Speaker 1:So if you value what I'm teaching, I would really appreciate it if you would go to the show notes and click on the link to follow the podcast and write a favorable review. That will make it way easier for me to reach more people with this work, and I'm on a mission to do that because I really do believe that living consciously can solve a lot of our problems. So I know you learned something valuable here today. I'll see you next episode. Check out my website at wwwbrainbscom, when you can find a blog post that will accompany this episode every week with the call to action, so that you can actually learn how to implement what you learn here. I'm also looking for people who are willing to participate in brain BS experiments and I can answer any questions you have. You can email me at mkcogelllc at gmailcom or schedule a connection call with me on the homepage of my website. See you next episode.