Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety
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Influential Introvert: Communication Coaching for Professionals with Performance Anxiety
How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism: Stoicon 2024 Talk
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Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism.
Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World
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Welcome . I am so happy to be speaking to you again and to share what I shared at the 2024 Stoicon . So , stoicon is an annual Stoicism conference put on by the Modern Stoicism Organization , and they have a lot of academic people who talk at these conferences . But my favorite part is what they call the lightning round , where people talk about how they are incorporating stoicism into their own life , whether it's just them as an individual in the work that they do . It's fascinating . People told such good stories .
Speaker 1This year I was asked to contribute one , which was really exciting , so I gave a lightning talk on how to combat speaking anxiety with stoicism , showing up as who we really are and sharing parts of ourselves instead of holding back . You know , a lot of people I work with are excellent listeners , but they're not always the best contributors . So how can we move past that ? Because part of our role in this world is to contribute . So I love stoicism . Well , maybe I should just jump into . Maybe I should just jump right into the talk , and these lightning talks are quick , hence the name , so they're about five to six minutes and that's what mine was . So I'm just going to jump right into it and I this was a video and there are some slides . So if you're interested in actually watching the video , you can check out my sub stack and I will put a link in the episode notes . All right , enjoy .
Speaker 1Hi , I'm Sarah Micatel and I'm a communication and mindset coach for introverts , and today I'm going to share how I use stoicism to help my clients reduce their public speaking anxiety and become more calm , confident communicators . So if you've ever felt nervous presenting in meetings or voicing your ideas in groups , this presentation is for you , and I could talk about communication and stoicism all day , but we only have about five minutes together . So I'm going to focus on three key areas One , understanding public speaking anxiety . Two , stoic strategies to manage anxiety . And three , applying role , ethics and communication . So let's start with why we feel anxious when speaking publicly , and we'll use an example .
Speaker 1So imagine Michelle is a bright and dedicated professional . She spent hours preparing for her presentation , so she really knows her material and she has a great rapport with her colleagues . But as she stands in front of the room before the meeting begins , her heart races , she feels shaky and panic really starts to set in . These immediate , involuntary sensations are completely natural and , as we Stoics know , they're not up to Michelle . Her fight or flight response is kicking in to keep her safe , even though she's not in any real danger . So if Michelle were my client , I would guide her to take deep belly breaths , to slow down her breathing , relax her body and stand in a position that feels grounded and stable and , most importantly , to accept what's happening instead of resisting it . Michelle can remind herself my body is reacting as if I'm in danger , but I'm not . I'm safe , I'm prepared .
Speaker 1By challenging the false impression that she's in a high stakes threatening situation , michelle can begin to calm her mind and her body . Now , let's say this anxiety stems from the belief that Michelle has to be perfect or everyone's going to judge her . Here's where stoic reasoning can help . So a thought pops into Michelle's mind If my presentation isn't perfect , they're going to think I'm incompetent . She starts to feel anxious , but then she pauses and evaluates this impression . Does the presentation need to be flawless to be valuable ? No , her colleagues are much more interested in her insights and her effort than any potential imperfections . Plus , she's prepared well and she knows her material . So Michelle chooses not to assent to the impression that her presentation must be perfect or she'll be judged . Instead , she reminds herself I'm here to contribute and share my work , not to have to impress everyone with a flawless performance . So her focus shifts to delivering her message clearly and authentically . And based on this rational reflection , instead of running away , michelle steps forward and presents with more equanimity . She uses hand gestures to articulate her points and also to give her adrenaline a way to escape , and she focuses on connection instead of perfection .
Speaker 1Now let's talk about the premeditation of adversity , and this is the stoic practice of mentally preparing for obstacles . So before her presentation , michelle can mentally prepare by visualizing how she would use her rational mind to respond to potential setbacks . So she can do things like practice accepting nerves as just natural physical sensations that she can simply allow . These come up when we care about something that's important to us . She can practice responding to a question she doesn't know with a plan to follow up , addressing technical issues with humor , challenging unhelpful thoughts with more useful ones . There's lots of things that she can visualize before her meeting . And by visualizing rational responses to challenges , michelle increases her emotional resilience and also her stress tolerance , and this allows her to face her fears with more poise and more equanimity . And she can also imagine her colleagues responding positively to her presentation and feel a sense of stoic joy that she showed up with courage and integrity .
Speaker 1Now let's talk about role , ethics and how to align your actions with your identity and your values . So Michelle realizes that part of her role as a colleague and team member is to share her insights and participate , even when it's uncomfortable . It's not about performing for others or having to prove herself . It's about contributing to the team and connecting authentically . Speaking Up isn't a performance review . It's about collaboration and adding value , and this idea ties into what Epictetus said about the nervous liar player . Epictetus explained that it's not the act of playing the liar that was causing anxiety , but the belief that the audience's judgment determines one's worth .
Speaker 1Michelle's fear of presenting comes from a similar misconception that her value depends on external validation rather than her own virtues and efforts . And in Stoicism , we know that virtue is the only good and vice is the only true bad and everything else . Praise , criticism , success , failure they are all indifference , because it doesn't define who we are at our core . So Michelle has been wrongly valuing external praise as good and fearing criticism as bad , and this was making her overly anxious about how others perceive her . Instead , she's starting to learn to value the virtue of contributing her knowledge and supporting her team and fulfilling her role . And this is the true measure of success , not whether she receives praise or avoids criticism , but it's about developing her character and being a good person . By challenging her false impressions and properly categorizing what is good , bad and indifferent , michelle can shift her focus from seeking approval to fulfilling her role with integrity . She can remind herself that her worth is not determined by others' opinions , but by her commitment to acting with courage and contributing to the greater good .
Speaker 1Thank you so much for your time and attention today . I love meeting fellow Stoics , so if you would like to connect , you can find me at stoicwellbeingcom or sarahmigatelcom . You can visit me on Instagram at sarahmigatel , or you can listen to the Citizens of the World podcast . So that was my lightning talk for the 2024 Stoicon event . I hope you enjoyed it . I hope you got something out of it and again , if you want to watch the video , you can head on over to my Substack page . That's all for now . Thank you so much for listening and have a beautiful week wherever you are .