Natasha Scholl
Author Found Wanting
Love and grief. Both a type of madness. And both obsessively documented. Love wins the documentation stakes but grief, lately, isn’t far behind.
Writers believe they can diminish the grief madness by finding the words of explanation. Explanation for the inexplicable. Metaphors for a place where there are none.
Death is inventive and enjoys surprising us. Natasha Sholl was 22 when her partner, Rob, died. He was 27. She woke in the middle of the night to find he had flipped on top of her, making strange noises. Then his heart stopped. It is unimaginable.
Twenty-two, about to begin a new life living in a new apartment with a man she loved and he dies in their bed. She is unable to save him. She doesn’t believe he has died. She blames herself. The daughter of a doctor, the sister of two doctors, and she couldn’t save him.
“I lay down beside him on the floor, closed my eyes. I was conscious of the sound of him not breathing. I held his hand. His body was hard and cold. My body became hard and cold. The feeling leached from me. It disappeared from my fingertips. ‘He’s not here,’ I wanted to say again. I disappeared into the carpet like liquid. A stain. My senses diluted. I waited. For a sign. A feeling. For a message. For anything. His absence had a physical weight to it. It filled up the room.”
Now married and a mother of four under 12 Her book “Found Wanting” an ode to love, loss, grief and recovery is a testimony to renewal and the capacity to heal in the face of inexplicable pain.
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/what-ive-learnt/id1535563304
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3TQjCspxcrSi4yw2YugxBk
Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1365850
Deborah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/what.ive.learnt/
Mind, Film and Publishing: https://www.mindfilmandpublishing.com/
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/what-ive-learnt/id153556330
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3TQjCspxcrSi4yw2YugxBk
Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1365850