Quest for Healing: Bi-weekly support and inspiration for your Medical Medium® health journey
Quest for Healing: Bi-weekly support and inspiration for your Medical Medium® health journey
How the Angel of Mercy Came in Her Darkest Hour to Help Her Heal and Find Music Again with Alyssa Degati
#019 – This week’s guest is brilliant singer-songwriter Alyssa Degati. She talks about her myriad of health issues, including extreme acne, multiple pulmonary embolisms at a very young age, debilitating anxiety and depression and then on top of all of this, suddenly developing an inability to swallow. Through coping with multiple near-death experiences as a result of her failing health, she lost her passion for music. But then she talks about how her passion and inspiration started to come back, even when she was still near the depths of despair, and how her beautiful song, Angel of Mercy, came to be.
You can find Alyssa on social media at
Facebook
Instagram
YouTube
TikTok
You can also find her music on
iTunes
Apple Music
Amazon Music
Pandora
Spotify
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SHOW NOTES:
Note: Some of the links provided here are affiliate links, which means that if you buy using this link, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost for you. Affiliate links are annotated with ($$).
($$) The Heal Documentary, written, produced, and directed by Kelly Noonan Gores
($$) Medical Medium, Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal (Revised and Expanded Edition) by Anthony William
Medical Medium Radio Show Archive - Conquering Anxiety (link to Sound Cloud)
Medical Medium Radio Show Archive - Anxiety and Depression (currently unavailable)
Medical Medium Podcast, Episode #014 - Anxiety: They Say It's All in Your Head (link to Apple Podcasts)
Alyssa's Songs that were mentioned in the episode:
Angel of Mercy (YouTube link)
Better Together (YouTube link)
The Quest for Healing Podcast is hosted by Kerstin Ramstrom. For more information about Kerstin and her health coaching practice, Carefully Healing, please find her at
If you want save up to 25% off supplements that you're taking every day, check out Wellevate in the Resources section of my website at CarefullyHealing.com/Resources and go to the Wellevate section. Shipping is FREE for orders over $49, US only. ($)
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This transcription below was provided to you for your convenience, please excuse any mistakes that the automated service made in translation. I'm Kerstin Ramstrom, a certified holistic health coach and welcome to the Quest for Healing podcast. Whether you're just starting out on your health journey or you're farther down your path, I've created this podcast to inspire and inform your health journey through first, some extraordinary healing stories from real people. Second, an exploration of some intriguing healing modalities, and third, through conversations with enterprising people who are making a difference in the health of our world. Before we get to this week's episode, I wanted to give a shout out to Nanas0516 for her recent review of the show on Apple podcasts, she said "This is exactly what the chronic illness community needed. Listening to others healing stories is healing. And it's a fantastic faith and hope builder. This podcast is something I wish I had had from the start of my healing journey. Please give it a listen." Thank you so much for this review. This is exactly why I'm doing this and I'm so glad to hear that it's resonating. I appreciate you taking the time to write this it means a lot to me. Welcome to Episode 19. I'm so excited for this episode because it's a very special and moving interview with this week's guest, brilliant singer and songwriter Alyssa Degati. She talks about her myriad of health issues, including extreme acne, pulmonary embolisms at a very young age, debilitating anxiety and depression. And then on top of all of this, she suddenly developed an inability to swallow. Through coping with multiple near-death experiences as a result of her failing health, she lost her passion for music. But then she talks about how her passion and inspiration started to come back, even when she was still near the depths of despair, and how her beautiful song, Angel of Mercy, came to be. This is such a beautiful conversation, I really hope you enjoy it. Before we get started, just a reminder, these discussions are not intended to provide medical advice, but rather to give you examples of methods and modalities that you may find interesting, informative or helpful. Please work with your doctor as you undertake your own health journey. And with that, let's go to the episode. Alyssa, thank you so much for being on the show today. I'm so excited for our conversation.
Alyssa Degati:I'm so excited to be here. I'm so honored. Thank you for having me.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I think people are really going to benefit from your healing story, because it's so... and I'm going to let you tell it.... but there is so much to it. And it's so moving. And as I've already mentioned in the intro, the song that you wrote that came out of this is so beautiful. And so I think other people are really going to benefit from understanding how all of this intertwines. So I'm really excited for this interview.
Alyssa Degati:Me too. I'm excited to share. This is actually the first time I'm sharing my story. So I'm honored. I'm honored.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you for thank you for doing it here with us. I really appreciate that.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So why don't you take us back to earlier on in your health journey and you know what was going on?
Alyssa Degati:So where it all began? Really honestly, I've battled chronic illness since birth. You know, I remember my mom telling me at a few months old, I was going back and forth to CHOP, a major children's hospital, because I was so sick. And she had said that my... I don't know if my ureters were deformed or not yet fully developed, but it was causing all sorts of infections and problems. And so they opted not to do surgery because I was so little but it caused a UTI, like a really bad UTI for me. So I was on my first heavy duty antibiotics at maybe six months. And so from there, then I was just a very, very sick baby and child. I remember I had this really deep raspy, froggy voice, like Mommy, you know, I was always just like, always sick until I got my tonsils out at four. So I just had the chronic strep, really, really bad. And then I remember thinking, like that cured me because I never had strep throat present again, up until I was an adult but I remember thinking that cured me, that surgery but it didn't. I was then also diagnosed as a child with Reactive Airway, which is another diagnosis for when they don't really know. It's not really asthma, but it's presenting like that. And so I was always on nebulizers and breathing treatments and bronchitis, pneumonia, so pretty sick as a kid and pretty underweight. And then from there when stuff really started to get more uncomfortable was when I hit puberty. At nine years old, I was really super young. And then at that point, my weight switch the other way and I started to gain weight and I developed acne. So for 20 years of my life and not just on my face but my whole body. And then I was also diagnosed with scoliosis. I was a dancer and I had broke my hip at a very young age. So then I had scoliosis which you know are Heavy metals and so there was a lot.... like, it was evident with my knowledge now looking back that there was a very high pathogen load and metals and the chronic strep and so that just... the perfect storm was already in the works. The acne and the weight plagued me to the point where it was around... sad to say, but as young as 9, 10, 11, like preteen, I really felt different. And I really, really started to believe that my body was faulty, and that I had bad genes and it just felt so unfair. Like it really really impacted me I felt like you know, compared to my family members who seemed perfect in my eyes, you know, perfect skin, perfect weight, I was battling with just felt.... like nobody else was like, especially at that age,
Kerstin Ramstrom:Especially. Yeah,
Alyssa Degati:And then the other piece of this is my music journey. And so I started working professionally in the music business as young as 12. But I was always entertaining. I mean, from the time I was three, I was in piano and dance I was always performing so in the spotlight, and always had this fearless nature. I loved it, but something in me started to become very self conscious and just feel really honestly plagued by the acne. And so I mean, that started, you know, years of, of seeing so many dermatologists and I've tried literally every cream, every antibiotic, every laser, microdermabrasion, peel, Accutane multiple times, you name it, I did it, and nothing ever helped. And so I just honestly thought I was I was stuck with it forever. And, and then the weight, you know, again, being in the music business adds this layer, this layer of pressure, and I was already a perfectionist, and but when you're in the entertainment business, unfortunately, it's ego driven, and you feel like you have to be perfect. And I remember being told, like if you were just 15 pounds lighter, like you know.... and so, I was pretty resilient and had thick skin as a kid, but that still hurts. And I was very self conscious. And so I developed pretty severe eating disorders from a very young age, I was put on my first diet at 12, began yo yo dieting, and it was just a vicious cycle, that and then hormonally like I just always had really, really heavy painful cycles. I remember I was told that I had a sick thyroid, like there was never anything to diagnose but but they did find nodules. And so there is that, just a lot of things that I think as a society that we just think are like normal and common.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I think that's the problem, right? Like they've become so common that everybody considers them normal.
Alyssa Degati:Be Yeah, and it's sad. And that was true for me. I think it was just, you know, I definitely just thought I have shitty genes. And these are the cards I was dealt and you know, just like deal with it. But it's not where you you know, it's not like I viewed myself as sickly. Like I didn't, I didn't feel held back but I was. Especially in hindsight, I can see so clearly but, but there were all these things and just thinking it was normal, like having... battling seasonal allergies and being on meds for that and horrible acid reflux from a very young age. And, you know, I thought it was normal to poop every two weeks, you know, and then have massive blood from that and just, you know, it'd be on Miralax everyday since I'm a child. Like all these things where my body was just not functioning properly. And just, I mean, on so many steroids, antibiotics, allergy shots, you name it, like I had a pill case at a very young age, just from like, having to manage like so many medications. And now I'm at like 15 or 16 in high school, and my music career is starting to take off. And I'm at that point where I'm thinking about maybe dropping out of school.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So you're performing at this point.
Alyssa Degati:So all the while I'm still performing. I'm doing it all dancing, singing, acting, but music was always my, my greatest love. And so I was 12 when I wrote my first song, and I actually recorded before that but recorded my own first album, I was 12. And then I did a ton of demo work living in Nashville, so I got to go to the studio and sing on other records for people and it was really amazing. And I kept writing and putting out more albums and I really had my big break at 16 when I got invited to go to Hollywood and perform at this event for... it's unbelievable, for 60,000 people. It was at the Staples Center, and it was hosted by the Lakers. And that was like my first big... I had been obviously performing but that was my first big performance and first time to California and it's a really big deal. So Wow, I actually ended up moving out there at 16 with my mom and working for the summer, and I was devastated when they made me move home. My parents said I had to move home and finish school so mad. Because I just thought, you know, I have my life figured out, I'm very lucky to... from my earliest memory, this was what I eat, sleeped and breathed and all I ever wanted to do. And I felt very fortunate that I was just working and doing it and I was sure of my path. And so here I am with all these opportunities and having this momentum and I thought, why am I gonna have to go back to school and just, you know, and be a normal kid, like, it just felt just horrible. And so I did that. At 17, I moved back home to finish senior year. And then, you know, in my mind, it's like, as soon as I graduate, I'm heading back out to LA and following my dreams. So here's where here's where it gets interesting. So leading up to all that, you know, my cycles were just getting increasingly worse. I was seeing every doctor, every specialist, I ended up at an oncologist because they were thinking maybe I had cancer because my periods were just so debilitating, and I had so much pain and so they wanted to rule out tumors, and they ended up ruling out cancer and they landed on ovarian cysts. Which they said are very common, and they could do surgery, but they kind of leave that as a last resort. And since I was having all of these hormonal symptoms like acne and hot flashes... I remember people always like, even to this day when I say, Oh, I'm having a hot flash or something. I don't really get them anymore. But, you know, up until recently, if I would say that, people would look at me... older women, and they would just dismiss it. Like there's no way, like talk to me when you get to menopause. And I'm like, I've been having hot flashes since I'm nine. And they're like, it's impossible. And I'm like, No, like I had a sluggish liver.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I started having them at 35.
Alyssa Degati:Yeah,
Kerstin Ramstrom:You don't have to wait until you get to menopause. Yeah,
Alyssa Degati:No, no. So it's so interesting. I am sitting at the oncologists office, and they want to put me on birth control, because that's how they want to treat all the other symptoms. And that's what made sense. And I was so desperate. I was like, give it to me. My mom was like, No, I don't you know, I'm not comfortable with this. But I was so desperate at this point. So I started birth control pills in April, while I was still working in LA for the summer. Moved back home to Tennessee to finish high school. And it was homecoming week. So by October, I remember I I woke up one morning with... actually it hit me in the middle of the night, with just excruciating, back and chest pain. And mind you I'm somebody that has a very high pain tolerance. I broke my hip when I was 12. And like, I just really never complained, ever. And I was also very much pretty carefree and didn't stress about stuff. I was just very, you know, go with the flow. And ar und the same time I began taking the hormones, I became such a ypochondriac. And just always, I just remember always being l ke having this hyper awarenes
Kerstin Ramstrom:Oh, my God. of my body and always thinkin I was dying. So that was weird And a couple people pointed that out, like why are you ac ing like that? Like, that's n t.. that doesn't seem like yo. And so anyway, I am woken in he middle of the night with t is horrendous pain and I come d wnstairs the next morning gett ng ready for school and I tell m mom like mom, I feel like I' having a heart attack. Like the pain is that bad. And my om was like, you're fine. You're 17 like, take an Advil and go to school. So I did I took I thi k probably four Advil or six Advil and and she called the d ctor and I actually did go to my pediatrician. And they had no dea. They said they think it wa viral, like a pleurisy. S an inflammation of the lungs. ut go to the hospital ju t to be sure and get checked. An so we did. And I went to th hospital and I had lung x ray, EKGs I had all the tests and everything was clear. Everythin was normal. And so we were reli ved and we just had to let it ru its course and so a week goes by and I mean, it's hard to arti ulate the pain. It's beyond excr ciating. I can't get relief at any point. And it's it almo t felt like... because I did have such bad digestive iss es, it kind of felt like rea ly bad gas. Because it was commo for me when I would have g s and be constipated o have sharp pains like up in m chest. So it kind of felt like that, but way worse, obvio sly like nothing I'd ever fel kind of like that. So I thought maybe I'm just like really const pated. It was really reall, really bad. So a week later.. And again at school like it' a really festive fun tim and I should want to be ther and for seniors, it was really elebrated and fun. And I jus, I was so miserable. And so a week later, I come downsta rs and my lips are blue, and'm trying to eat my breakfast a d I can't even hold up a spoo and I'm just crying to my m m like, Mom, please don't m ke me go to school. Like, just want to try to lay here an try to find comfort, even hough I can't, I'm just so d sperate. And so my mom called m pediatrician again, and he was retty adamant about sending us b ck to the hospital. But I wa like, I don't want to go.
Alyssa Degati:It was unheard of, they had never seen this. remember saying, I don't wa t to go and sit there all day or more tests. Like, I alr ady know, I'm fine. I specifical y said, I know I'm not dying And I don't want to go do that And so my mom was fighting h m. And he said, you know, I' begging you to go, something's not right. Like, please take er. We've already called ahe d, they're expecting you. And so my mom dragged me back to the hospital. And I underwent se eral more tests. And it was long day. And I remember aft r many hours, the doctor coming n and kind of saying like, what hey were looking for, and l ke the worst case scenario, and then he delivered the news that actually had pulmonary embo isms. So I had... my lungs we e full of blood clots. And I was 17. And... And I went into complete shock. And I just remember, I remember saying, I was so innocent. I remember saying to the doctor, like, I'm about to die, and I haven't never even kissed a boy. It was so sad. And I said, am I gonna, am I gonna die? Are you're gonna save me and, and he said, he couldn't answer. He said, we're gonna do everything in our power. And so immediately, it was just like, my life turned upside down. They start me on blood thinners, and I'm admitted in the hospital. And
Kerstin Ramstrom:Did they have any idea what was causing it?
Alyssa Degati:That time? Not a clue. And to this day, not a clue. Yeah, I stayed in the hospital for a few weeks. And the clots had to dissolve on their own. I think that's what was, first of all, it was a complete miracle that I survived because I went a week misdiagnosed, and most people don't survive a day with that condition. So that's a miracle in itself. But then you have to what I was told was, you just have to wait, you can't give yourself too much blood thinner. It's kind of that fine line. So it was, it was just waiting to see. And I remember the pain of that, like I was, I mean, morphine wouldn't touch this pain, like, nothing helped. Nothing helped the pain. So it was just, I just had to sort of endure, feeling them dissolve and break up and all of it. And I had every test under the sun, they wanted to try... They were trying to figure out why they checked my heart. And they couldn't. And I remember, like, the only thing different that I had done was start taking hormones. But they... it's almost unbelievable when I think back. They were so sure, and so adamant that this was unrelated to birth control pills, even though you see those commercials, and they say that, you know, there's a risk of blood clots. And, and so in my mind,
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah, they and they've... and that's not like that's new. I mean, that's always been a risk. with those.
Alyssa Degati:Yeah, but I think, Wow, my age and the fact that I was so you know, seemingly healthy to them. And it just was... it was so... it couldn't be that there and and I would ask it well, what about the birth control? That's a risk. And they said, it's just the chances are so small that it's just not what caused it. And so I think the hardest thing, the most traumatizing thing about that whole experience was no answers. No, I got no answers. And I couldn't accept, like how I was supposed to move on with my life having no answers as to why I almost just died from something. Not just like, you stubbed your toe, like very serious that should have taken my life that didn't. And they couldn't give me any answers. So I didn't know how to process the magnitude of what just flipped my world upside down at 17. And so I kind of just, you know, I was had to give myself shots multiple times a day, every single day for the next six months of blood thinners and had to wear this port in my stomach. And there were some perks to it. Like I got to wear sweats. I was at a private school with a strict dress code. So I got to wear sweatpants and be comfy every day and I got to take the elevator and I got to get out of PE
Kerstin Ramstrom:That's awesome, I went to private school, we had dress codes, like I remember how nice that would have been, like that would have been a benefit.
Alyssa Degati:It was nice. But it really rocked my world. And I remember like coming home hospital just feeling like a 90 year old woman.Like getting up out of the bed to brush my teeth to shower was like a feat. It was an accomplishment and it really took the full year to recover. But it didn't... none of it sunk in Like, I think I was just traumatized and didn't know it. So I really just felt numb, kind of surviving. So I remember come graduation thinking like, wow, I got a second chance at life, like I survived something that most people don't. And I was leaning towards either staying home for college and taking a different route. But I was like, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to follow my heart, I'm going to go live my life, and I'm going to go, give it a shot. And I'm going to move back to California and, and go follow my dreams. And that's what I did. So at 18, I moved back to California, by myself this time. And just had the time of my life. Like, some of the best memories of my life, I was just living it up, I joined a girl group and we toured around the world and had some really amazing opportunities. And all the while, I was accumulating a ton more trauma within relationships, and with men, and just in the music business, there's enough of that. What's really fascinating is after having the blood clots, I really walked away, untouched in many ways. I didn't realize it at the time. But the worst part about all that was going to be the PTSD and the anxiety. But most people, you know, are damaged forever, they have a stroke, and then they can't talk and walk. And like any of that could have happened. I mean, it could have lost my life, but I also could have had debilitating aftermath from it. And I really, really was protected. Like I really walked away, unscathed, which is a miracle in itself, too. And so I felt like nothing happened. And I feel like it maybe should have been a wake-up call. But it wasn't yet, it hadn't woken me up yet. I was very much still just asleep in a lot of ways and just living my life. And and I think that was a coping mechanism to I think I was not ready. So
Kerstin Ramstrom:I think it would be hard at that age to be going through all of that, you know, both the physical and the mental aspects of that and being able to fully process it. I mean, you're so young at that point, still. I can't imagine. I feel like, I always felt like an old soul. And I always felt wise, but I also have always been pretty naive, you know, and, and I think you're exactly right, it was too much for my soul to manage both. And so it was a nice little... It's not like it was a vacation, but it kind of just felt like it was... it served a good purpose coming out of that trauma just to go and, you know, follow my dreams and do what I loved and had a great time until a year later. The panic attacks started. And that was a first for me. And I ended up in the ER a few times thinking I was dying just from the aftermath of.. The biggest thing was I didn't, I didn't know how to trust my body now. Like, I already have this belief for over half my life that my genes are bad and whatever. But now it's like, Okay, this thing, this life-threatening thing happened in my body and they're just blaming it on me.
Alyssa Degati:Oh, I left out a big important part, it was that when they were testing me for, you know, seeing if it was genetic, and it wasn't there was nothing in the family. They labeled me with... I had a positive ANA comeback, which is typically like shown in people with lupus. So they told me, I had three of the five symptoms of lupus. So they labeled me like autoimmune. But there were no answers other than that, and so...
Kerstin Ramstrom:And when did that happen?
Alyssa Degati:When I was in the hospital, and they're trying to figure out what caused this. But then, I mean, for months after, I would go to the hematologist weekly, and I would get and this is while I'm on blood thinners, I would get 20, 30, sometimes 50 vials of blood. And I remember this one time, this is a little bit graphic, but I was getting blood drawn because they were always checking and testing for something. And the nurse... I don't know what happened but she missed and because I was on blood thinners. I mean, it was like blood went everywhere. At this point. I'm a pro, like I was just so used to it, but it was like out of a horror movie. And it just... it's it's hard to believe like how much you know, my poor immune system just having to give all that blood and the constant. I mean, I went in for CAT scans almost every month to keep checking if the clots broke up. So just constant radiation and yeah, it was relentless. It was really just like... It was sad, because I just didn't know. Now we're back to when the panic attacks started. So end up in the ER a few times panic attacks start, and I'm sort of just floundering around in LA, like nothing's really panning out with record deals, and things just aren't really happening how I had hoped. And so my parents dragged me back home, and I'm kicking and screaming the whole way back, because it just felt like I had to give up my entire life's dream. And, like, I failed. And it was just, like, immediately, I was so depressed, because I couldn't imagine doing anything else. And I knew what that meant. And so I came back home to Tennessee. And at this point, I'm 20, about to be 21. And my parents say you've to get a real job, and it was just so crushing. So I would say, that's when depression really sort of hit me for the first time. And that's when I was just having a really hard time coming to terms with I'm gonna have to go back to school for something else and give up music. And so the doctor, that was the first time the doctor put me on antidepressants, and Xanax and the whole thing, to get me over the hump of the transition, right? So, and at the same time, I come to terms with my life, and I decided to go to beauty school. And I remember thinking, I remember just getting to a place with myself, or I really thought I was at peace with quitting music. And I really thought it was my choice. And like, you know, you know, I prayed to God. And obviously, after over 10 years of pursuing this and it not working out, like, it's just not meant to be. Like, I have to take the hint. And just, I couldn't understand why I was given a gift to not use it, but I just had to... I accepted it. And I just almost became really kind of bitter, and I never... I was very closed off to music, and I was done. So now I'm going to build and create a new life. And so I go to beauty school, and I start to live a very toxic lifestyle. And in even more toxic relationships, and just being in beauty school, just the chemicals and everything, at this time, just like bogging my liver even more. And so here's where my story gets even more interesting. So I'm 23 and I'm out to dinner with a friend. And halfway through, I am unable to swallow. And it kind of freaks me out because like, you know, I'm the biggest foodie. You kind of have to swallow, right? And I'm the biggest foodie of all time. Like, I was so passionate about food. And I'm an Italian girl. And like everything revolves around food in our family. And I just was like, if I didn't do music, I wanted to be a food critic or like a baker or like, I just loved food. And so here I am now and I am having a hard time swallowing and I'm just I tried to just go on with it and not, you know, get too panicked about it. But
Kerstin Ramstrom:When you were at the restaurant and you're having trouble swallowing, how did that manifest itself directly after that, was it just like a switch went off and you couldn't swallow anymore? Or did it progress? Did it progressively get worse?
Alyssa Degati:it was exactly like that. It was like a switch went off. And I couldn't swallow. It almost initially felt like an irritation. And then it just felt like, but I couldn't get the food down. So then I became really hyper aware of this, like the next few days. I'm like, you know, I'm scared It's gonna happen again. And like we have to eat right? So, but I tried to not really dwell on it. And I went to a doctor and they did more ultrasounds and more tests and didn't find anything physically. So they put me back on more antidepressants because they said it must be anxiety. That's what we think, it's interesting. But then like a week later, I actually choked so bad on food. And from that moment on, like, I was completely traumatized to the point where I could not swallow even water. I couldn't like.. So from then I just started to waste away like I lost 40 pounds in a few weeks. I was just like, it's hard to put into words like what that felt like. And the doctors, they just thought it was anxiety and I remember praying, like desperately praying to God, to have to have something neurologically wrong so I could have, kind of like with the blood clots, like I was praying to have a disease so that I had an answer. Because I knew if it was just anxiety, if it was just all in my head and it felt absolutely impossible to heal that. And so completely hopeless. And I just like, the thought of getting through every day was just impossible. It just felt like how am I going to do this? Like, I can't even drink water like I can't. So I was surviving on protein shakes and Ensure shakes. And I remember the doctor specifically saying, like, Alyssa, you can live on these Ensure shakes for the rest of your life. Like we have elderly patients that do it every day, like so don't worry. And I remember thinking, okay.
Kerstin Ramstrom:And I would just interject here that we did just... right before we started taping, we looked at the ingredients in those and they are pretty horrifying.
Alyssa Degati:It's a nightmare.
Kerstin Ramstrom:And they're... the only healthy thing in there is water.
Alyssa Degati:And not filtered.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah, absolutely. But the doctor's telling you, yeah, you can live on these for the rest of your life.
Alyssa Degati:Yeah. So in my so again, I'm 23 when this starts, back on antidepressants, and I tried to just... I mean, at this point, I'm starting to become more self aware and commit myself to like a spiritual journey. And I start to go to different healers and just try to find answers and to learn more about myself and dive into some of the trauma.
Kerstin Ramstrom:And you were working in the hair salon at
Alyssa Degati:I was doing hair, right. Yep. And so this goes on that point, right? for the next four years. And it progressively just gets worse and worse. There are periods where when I was on antidepressants, where it feels like it helped a little bit, where I was able to have moments where I felt somewhat normal. Right? You don't... you take it for granted. Because it But the biggest thing is I never felt normal again, like after that one moment, in that restaurant, I was completely different. And you know how like, it's like breathing, like we breathe. And unless you're doing breath work, you don't think like Breathe in and breathe out. Like it's just automatic. The same thing with eating. I mean, how many of us, know there's mindful eating, bu we don't think and are so awar of every chew to swallow to do n the hatch. Like you just don t think about i generally speaking always works. And, and I think I just became so hyper focused. And the other thing was, and people would point this out to me, probably to make me feel better. But it made me feel so much worse was how many people choke, like, you know, a lot of people that choke and like live to tell the tale, like it doesn't take everybody out. But it traumatized me so bad that... where it created this phobia, and it was actually diagnosed, it's called phagophobia, the fear of swallowing. And I went to the ends of the earth trying to heal this and find anybody that I knew, I couldn't find a soul. And I know that's not true. But at the time, I couldn't find anybody that experienced this. And so my world just became like, smaller and smaller, and I became so isolated, and I really started to lose myself and to lose my life and everything in it relationships, because everything changed, like everything about me, that bro ght me joy and everything, lik just started... my whole ifestyle change. I didn't go ut to eat anymore. Like I just elt like I was being robbed of verything. And the whole time, he anxiety kept getting worse. I just felt so incredibly alone. And my family was terrified, because they just see me wasting away and they don't know how to help. And I went to the ends of the earth. At this point. I had been off and on Xanax and antidepressants and all the pharmaceuticals multiple times. And I knew in my heart and soul that it was just masking it and never got me better. And so I was truly committed to healing myself. And getting to the root of it. There was something in me that knew that that was possible. Like there was still that hope within me and being a child of God that our bodies can heal. I had no idea how and it felt completely impossible. But I was willing to die trying to get to the bottom of it because I knew it wasn't working what I was doing. And at this point, all the other stuff had failed me so many times. There are just so many instances in my journey where I had pharmaceuticals almost kill me. And now granted, it also saved my life when I had blood clots. If I didn't have Western medicine, I didn't have the blood thinners at that moment, I wouldn't be here. So I'm very, very grateful. But when it came to all my chronic stuff, I feel like it was just masking it or making things worse. And so it got to the point where I was just fed up I was done and I knew that wasn't the way and so I had to find another way and I was truly on my own. Every doctor and specialist and, and even healers and everybody looked at, you know, just said, you know, they had never seen this and they didn't know what to do. And so I hired coaches and I went to retreats, and I did everything. And at this point it got so bad where I lost friends, I lost my boyfriend, I lost my family, because they, you know, they were so scared to my life, they just were desperate to get me help. And I refused to go down that path and go into like an inpatient rehab or something to go back on more pharmaceuticals. So that kind of estranged me from my family at the time, so I was truly alone. And I just remember, I mean, Mattress Island like completely, I would just sit and stare at the four walls. I became agoraphobic, so I could not function in any way. I couldn't leave the house, I couldn't even leave my room. I was so triggered by sounds and light. And it just felt like... it felt like my body had no skin and all of my nerves were exposed. And I was being like, struck by lightning, and electrocuted like all the time. Like that's what it felt like. Like if I tried to walk into a grocery store and run in for bananas, I couldn't do, I would go into just.... it almost felt like seizures or something. And I wasn't diagnosed with that, my diagnoses were severe PTSD, panic disorder, anxiety, depression, and the phobias and the psychiatrist... After the third time being on antidepressant and having a life-threatening reaction from it, that caused me to have really severe tremors and twitches and spasms. Obviously, I couldn't be on that anymore. And they said, Well, don't worry, there's a million other drugs we can put you on. And I said, I'm done. Like I was, I was so terrified to try something else. But I was so terrified not to be on something. But it was just at that crossroads of like, Well, I'm not going that route, I'm gonna have to do this naturally. And so he said, I would need extensive psychotherapy and talk therapy, which was going to be, you know, something I couldn't afford, but that could be, you know, a way through it. Not only can I not function and and my nerves are so inflamed, and I'm starving to death. And I was literally, when it wasn't the Ensure shakes, I would live on quarts of ice cream, because it was the only thing that I felt safe not to choke on, because it would just melt down and it was thick enough, like water I would choke on because it was too thin. So I mean, there's no energy, just imagine my adrenals, just everything. Lost my cycle, lost my hair lost, lost at all, lost, completely lost my will to live. I would just beg and pray to die every night because I just couldn't wrap my head around... here I am now 26. And the thought of like having to live another like 50, 60, 70 years was like, I couldn't even imagine. And I was like, there's no way like I can't, I can't travel, I can't leave my room and nothing. So it was just all too much. And I just prayed every single night for God to just either bring me home or to bring me the right people that could help me. And I was scrolling on Facebook. And I remember seeing an ad for this documentary that was coming out that fall. It was called The Heal Documentary. And I was like, I have to see this. Like I just made my cells dance. And so as soon as that came out, I had it pre ordered, and I was so excited to watch it. And it was just like, such an answered prayer. Everything about that documentary I was resonant with and I just felt like it was validating everything I knew in my spirit. That was true that the path I was on even though it appeared to myself and to the world and to people around me that I was getting worse and worse and worse. I still knew something within me that like my body could heal. I just had the right resources and the right support.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So for anyone who hasn't seen The Heal Documentary, I saw it right when it came out too. And it was it's amazing. And it in it documents, some healing journeys of a few people with some different types of healing modalities.
Alyssa Degati:It was basically like different modalities and ways that you can heal yourself, naturally. And it was like all of these, they did a case study where it was like all of these different cancers that were terminal cancers. And they studied all of these patients that took the natural route of healing and what they had in common to see and there was a list of 12 things and I think only two of them were related to like diet. Everything else was like there was a emotional, spiritual. There's all these aspects, but it was all a holistic, natural way that they healed what was told impossible.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah. And some of the people that were featured in there were people like Joe Dispenza, and Gregg Braden and Deepak Chopra, and Michael Beckwith, and Marianne Williamson. And Anthony William, the Medical Medium.
Alyssa Degati:I remember, just really, really resonating connecting with everything in that documentary. But when I saw Anthony William, and there was something about that moment where I was like, This is my answer. This is my guy. So I, it was just like a full body. Yes, it was my answered prayer. It was like, the angel singing, it was just, it was a really visceral moment of like, truth for me. And so immediately, I bought the first book, Medical Medium, and
Kerstin Ramstrom:The Secrets behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal.
Alyssa Degati:But unfortunately, my journey took a turn for the worst at this point. So this was, I think the documentary came out in November of 2017. And then I didn't think I could get worse, but somehow, I got even sicker and sicker and sicker. With the same symptoms, it was just it was getting worse and worse and worse. And I couldn't... I mean, I couldn't live my life. So I couldn't go to holidays, and I couldn't go to weddings, and really important events, that was really, really heartbreaking. And so after, you know, having to not go and sort of make excuses, because I didn't really know it was... none of us really knew what was going on. I'm just saying like, I can't come and letting people down. Now it's my brother's high school er... college graduation and the pressure is on for my family. They're just pressuring me, like, how can you not support your brother and not go and and so I just really tried to suck it up. And just, I just, it took everything in me to just to try to go and wrap my head around it, it's just gonna be like, a weekend and I can do this. Well, I get there. And I couldn't last two seconds, I walked in the restaurant walk right back out, I just couldn't do it. And I ended up locking myself in the hotel room for the weekend. And with me was the Medical Medium book. And I remember I read cover to cover with like that night. And I also the very first thing I did was I played the Anxiety radio show. And I have chills right now, speaking about it, because I'll never forget that moment. It was as if Anthony was speaking directly to me, and every symptom he mentioned and then in the order of it, like it was, for me. It was like somebody knew and understood how I felt and it wasn't hopeless. And it was immediate, like gifts, and healing of hope. And I just felt like I could breathe for the first time and that I'm not completely doomed. And I can't even describe just how comforting and how soothing that was. And I just just to feel seen and to feel heard and to know that like, there was help out there, I knew this was my answer. And I I've actually never experienced greater knowing ever in my life than that moment. It was it was the complete truth of God and light of God in that moment. And and that was very, very healing, just without even having, like the tools and resources yet just having that truth and knowing like, here it is. changed my life.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I feel like that's one of the things that I hear from so many people when they find Medical Medium, it just resonated to the core of their being that it's like, yes, this is the truth, I finally found the truth. I don't even have to dig into it too far. I already know.
Alyssa Degati:There was not one doubt in my being. And it's actually... it's been really cool on my journey as a you know, over the past few years too, just having that anchor of truth. It's really kind of been like my gauge for how I navigate things like having that knowing and knowing what that feels like now I can.... It's allowed me to grow my own self trust and trust in, in my faith, in God. And it's been really beautiful. It's
Kerstin Ramstrom:In large quantities everyday... actually strengthened my faith and brought me closer to God than ever before. And so that's been a really beautiful aspect too. But so I think it was... it was when I got home and it was not long after, the first thing I did was run to the juice bar. Got my first celery juice. Oh, I remember - this is funny. When I when I learned that the answer or you know, one of the answers to my problems was celery juice, I wanted to die because it felt like a cruel joke because I am someone that I mean loathed celery. Like you couldn't pay me, like I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Like everything about celery, I don't care if it was doused, dipped in chocolate or ranch or, like I hated it. I tried so many times and I was like, this is a cruel joke God like now I have to juice thi stuff and like, it could hav been anything..
Alyssa Degati:It could have been anything else. But that is testament to truly the level of desperation, I would have done anything, I would have drank anything. And so I was willing to do it. And I was just like, oh, God was this gonna, this is like, I had no idea what to expect. But I, you know, my expectations were just very low, just like, it's gonna be bad. And I'm just gonna have to stomach it because this is my medicine. And I remember being so shocked in a good way and how pleasant it was, it really was like nothing like eating a celery stick. I got a good batch that day, it was very fortunate. And I remember like, how bad Have you ever felt the tingles and like the burning from it, like when you're new to it, like my tongue and everything was just burning. And I started to panic thinking like, Oh, God, am I having an allergic reaction, but I calmed down. And then I, I kept up with that, because I didn't own a juicer or anything at the time. So I would just go to the juice bar when I could and and then I kind of dove in from there. And it'll be four years, this fall that had been on my bit on my journey. But I want to tie in the music piece and how we got to the Angel of Mercy song. So when I had the book, I read the whole thing. And obviously I was very concerned with, you know what I need to do, and like, just tell me what I need to do. And I'll do it. But I was really, really fascinated with the spiritual aspect to everything. And so I went right to the Essential Angels chapter and learned about that aspect.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So the last chapter in that first book, Chapter 23, is called the Essential Angels. And so that's the chapter we're talking about.
Alyssa Degati:Yes, so I remember, the first Angel listed, I believe, is Angel of Mercy, who you call on in your bsolute darkest hour. And hat's where I had been living, found myself and where it just ouldn't get any lower. And so I hat stuck with me. And I emembered that and so when it hen things got even worse for e after I had just read the ook, and then it took a turn or the worse, it was Chri tmas that year, and I was alon. And it was just me and the iano. And another important thin to note, since last I spok about music, I had quit musi, and I really, I mean it was eally sad, I hadn't written a so g in six years I hadn't perf rmed, I hadn't even really sung in the shower or anything, I wa just very closed off to musi. And while I was going thro gh... earlier that year befo e finding Medical Medium, I was orking with a life coach who.. he was kind of like a Tony Robbins and you know was abou rewriting my thoughts and, and he power of the mind and affi mations. And there was an exer ise he wanted me to do wher I was journaling my affi mations to reprogram my brai. And he had mentioned that he w s going to put it to music just to amplify the power of affi mations. But he gave me a chal enge, knowing that I had the ast in music and he wanted me t add the music. And so I was ike, terrified because it here I'm thinking like I don't do t is anymore. And I haven't writ en in so many years. And I didn t think I could do it. But it w s a really beautiful expe ience. Because there was no pres ure. It's not like I was show ng up to a writing session and had to write a hit song, it w s just, no, I'm just gonna let yself be. I'm just gonna writ my truth. I'm gonna write my a firmations. And I'm going to s t at the piano and see what happ ns. And it was a magical mome t. And I feel like, you know the song kind of just wrot itself and it was beau iful. And you know, there was o pressure because I knew no o e was ever going to hear it. ow, that wasn't true. So he hear it. And then he ended up shar ng it in this Facebook grou that we were in. And that kind of gave me a little bit of conf dence to sort of like, it open d the door back up to musi. And so I was not open to putt ng myself out there with musi at this point. But just for e to be able to sit down at the iano and play again was just really beautiful. So while I wa, you know, going through hell that whole year, I turned to m sic, actually music came and aved me and reminded me the powe of of how healing it is. And wrote myself... there kind of l ke... they kind of feel nurse y rhymey, maybe that's not doing it justice, but they were j st these healing, these lit le healing songs that that tr ly got me through the worst of he panic attacks. And a lot of it was just affirmations tha I would put to music or just l ke these healing hopeful messa es or it just felt like God nd angels coming through me to g ve me these divine messages of h pe that was channeled into song nd so I was doing that leading up to finding Anthony and then w en I learned about Angel of Merc. I've stored that in the bac of my head and then wasn't ex ecting things to get so bad, t ey got worse. And I find mysel alone at the piano on Christm s, and I'm just even more do e than done. Like, I'm just com letely hopeless. I sit down and start playing these three chor s, and I just start waili g, and asking, you know, in pra er to Angel of Mercy, and th song just poured through me, nd it honestly doesn't feel li e me, it doesn't feel like I wro e it, it really feels like it w s all the work of God. And I b lieve that it is. Just the power of the song. And it's, it's my rayer. And it was my hope. And I just remember feeling ver, like healed from it in that
Kerstin Ramstrom:And, and I'd love to read a couple of the lines from it, because I think it really illustrates sort of the place that you were at in, here are a couple of lines from it, "It's hard to see the end of the road, when all I see is the end of the rope. I know it gets better in time, but I feel so blind." And obviously, having just heard so much of your story. We can see where that comes from. Right. And the line after that is "I don't want to fight this anymore. And then, you know, as you go into the chorus, "hey, Angel of Mercy, can you hear me cry? It's too much to carry. I'm surrendering. I'm surrendering."
Alyssa Degati:It's so simple, but it's so honest of where I was. Yeah. And I remember thinking after that moment, because I felt a lot of relief because the power of Angel of Mercy, obviously was present, is present in this song. And I remember feeling just that hope of God and, and then I was overwhelmed with gratitude, the fact that I had this wisdom, and I had hope, and I wouldn't have had that without Anthony and without Spirit. And I just sat there crying. And I remember thinking, I just wish I could thank him one day, as I'm sure so many of us do. I just wish, I could thank him one day and I also had the thought in the back of my head that like this was bigger than me like it was not supposed to be... because I was very adamant about like, nobody can hear this, this is so vulnerable. All of this, you know, this is so scary to, you know, even think about putting myself back out there, especially the state I found myself in, like, I just felt like the weakest. You know, thinking of being a performer, anything was not on the radar. But I remember thinking like, this has the power to heal the world. It's something that's so much bigger than me. And yeah, that was that was a really profound moment of, of Medical Medium, finding me and just God really carrying me through it all, even when I felt so alone felt like, forsaken, honestly, I just, I wasn't I look back, and it was I was so beautifully divinely led and guided and carried through all of it. And really shown what I made off. The other cool part is that, so right after I wrote that, I ended up hiring this healer to meet me at this cabin in the woods, because I just felt like I needed to put life on pause, shut the world out and just like let myself be for five minutes and have support and someone I felt safe with to help me just do whatever I need to do if I need to cry for seven days a week, whatever, just to have that safety. So that whole experience was divine. And we show up to this cabin, and there's a piano there and, and it was like 2am one night and I had told her that I had just written the song that I wanted to share with her. And so she starts recording it on her phone and I was not aware because you know, to my knowledge, I would have had to be perfect, you know, if something was going to be posted, which I was not open to at the time. So we just had this beautiful moment and I started playing her this song and I didn't even know that she was a singer too. And she just started improvising with me. And we had this gorgeous moment of of singing Angel of Mercy together. And then she told me she recorded it and I was like what? And she's like you have to post this like, you have.... music is your calling. You have to do this, you have to do this. And she's like I'm making you an Instagram and I was just so I was so closed off to it. I was so resistant, couldn't wrap my head around any of it. The thought of like entering back into the music business was just so beyond like, I didn't have the energy or the desire whatsoever. And also, like I said, I was just such... I felt like I was just a shell of who I used to be that I just wanted to keep hiding. So nothing in me was ready for that. And so I did create an Instagram and I posted that video but I kept it private and I never ever told anyone about it and I don't think it had any of use and that's where the other part of this miracle comes in. And then fast forward to, I don't know, 6, 7, 8 months later, and I wake up one day and my phone's blowing up, and I see Medical Medium reposted this video of me singing the song and I was like, jaw dropped, like, how how, like, how how, why now? And right before that I remember, I remember praying and asking, you know, for, you know, guidance around my purpose and what I was supposed to do and what was next for me. And if I'm supposed to do music, like, give me a sign and well,
Kerstin Ramstrom:You were talking to the right folks.
Alyssa Degati:It just felt like, especially for how resistant and closed off I was, it was like God beating you over the head with like, Is this enough of a sign? I'm gonna do it for you, you don't have to do anything. Because my whole life working, growing up in the business, I felt like I had to try so hard to break down doors and, you know, claw my way through and to be you know, and this... my journey since 2017 has been complete opposite of that. If that's not validation to this vocation of mine, and so loud and clear, I got that message.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Well, of course, you've been talking to the right people, right? You're talking to the angels.
Alyssa Degati:That's true.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I always think, you know, when I'm spending a lot of time listening to radio shows, I always find myself sort of talking to Anthony, I'm sure he can't hear me. But Spirit of Compassion maybe can hear us, right? Like, and maybe Anthony can hear us too. I mean, I've had him come to me in dreams, I swear he reaches out to us in dreams to make sure we're doing okay. And, you know, that works better than the internet ever has, right?
Alyssa Degati:Absolutely. No, I'm still right there with you. And I think that's totally true. Yeah, from there, you know, that moment just completely flipped my world upside down now in a positive way, and gave me some courage, you know, courage and encouragement to pursue this again, and open my heart back up to, to doing this. But the most beautiful piece of it all was like, I used to write songs my whole life. And I wrote good music, and it was all great. But this, this was a whole different thing. And the fact that it was this song, and it was shared with this community that felt like, I mean... This Medical Medium community is the ultimate blessing for me personally, because I've kind of always felt like an outsider, just, like I didn't belong in the world, especially within my family, and all you know, and for the first time, in this community, it's like people that get it, get me, that see me, that I feel truly safe. And I know there's other people that that truly understand that level of hopelessness and, and the rope and just being in such a dark place. So there's a lot of comfort, and I just found that it was the most beautiful place to have this music be shared and to have it be received. And it was, it has been, from that day received so beautifully, it blows me away. I'm like so, so incredibly humbled by the whole thing and so honored, like it still blows my mind. And it just feels like the gift of a lifetime. And if I if I died tomorrow, I would feel just full of gratitude and like complete, just, you know, for that, like gift. And and the messages that I receive of how people... how this song has impacted them, it truly keeps me going. Because I still have dark days, you know, I'm still, I'm still on my healing journey. And I have had come so far. And I made a list, just for my own knowledge, of all my symptoms that I've had. And that I've healed and my list is over 100 items long. It's unbelievable. Like, I feel like every symptom Anthony has mentioned in the books I have had them. So it's unbelievable how far I've come and how I've transformed but I'm still on the journey. And truly, messages like that and how it's impacted people really, really keep me keep me moving forward and inspiring me like no other to keep writing more. And so I'm just so grateful.
Kerstin Ramstrom:I'm so grateful for you to because I listened to the song and it's, it was just one of those things that I hugely connected to it and I was playing it, and I do this. I don't know if other people... like I just put it on replay. Like, I would just let it loop. It would be my background music as I sit here at my desk and do my work. And it's just so comforting. And you know, obviously there is some message in there about how you were at your deepest and darkest, but I also can see the hope in there. And that's what is so comforting to me when I sit and listen to it over and over and over again.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you for saying that, that's so beautiful. That's so beautiful to hear. And it's funny because I have a very similar experience and I think that's why I feel like, like, I know I wrote it, but I feel like it, I didn't because of the way it impacts me. And I know, when I write songs that are just like pop songs or whatever, yeah, it's great, but it doesn't have that impact, or it really like... it moves me to tears. And for your own song, I don't say that, you know, like, but for that song to move me to tears to this day to move me to tears and to heal me so deeply, like, truly, if I have a dark day, or a moment where I'm just feeling hopeless, or going through something, and I put that on, and I am moved to tears. And I just like you said, it's so cathartic, because you just, it's this prayer, and you're just surrendering, and you're giving it up, and then you feel the light, and you feel the peace and the hope and the comfort that comes with it, and you know, that you're supported. And the power of music is from heaven. Like, well, it could go either way. But I, you know, that's why I'm like very particular about what I write because the frequency of it, you amplify what you are, you know, energy of that. And so it takes it to another level of power. And it's really profound. And so I'm just like, the best feeling when people I've had several people say that they keep it on repeat, and then it you know, it saved their life. And that's just... I'm speechless over it. Yeah, it's Thank you, it's just an honor.
Kerstin Ramstrom:And it's such a gift. I mean, it clearly hit you all at just the exact moment,
Alyssa Degati:it's all been so divine. Looking back, it's like, even when I thought I was so off track or not doing things perfectly, or whatever it was, it's all been so divine. And that really gives me.... that really builds my trust and present moment and gives gives me more faith and gratitude. Because I just know, like, I think that's been the biggest part of my PTSD that I still work through, is just like, learning how to feel safe in my body, and how to really trust, be comfortable in my body. And also, you know, I spent most of my life hating myself... my body to now being on this journey of like, true deep self love. And that has been so remarkable. And so life changing, and so beautiful. And that only grows deeper every day. And it's a journey. And
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah, like the message that Anthony sends about the healing power of our bodies and how they want to heal. And if you give them the right things, they will do it and really internalizing that, and giving, you know, for me, giving my body what it needed. And then really watching it just blossom from that I had no idea.
Alyssa Degati:It's remarkable and how our bodies want to heal, we just have to support them and sort of move out of the way and and believe in our bodies, like our bodies have never failed us. Even when I thought I just always carried the belief even after the near death experience and everything that like my body always failed me. And that's so far from the truth, my body did nothing but unconditionally love and support me even after all the abuse, I put it through and like, you know, all of that, like it always has been there for me. And so now I'm like, that freak in the corner that like, you know, just like I'm like hugging my liver and just talking to myself, just like I love you. Thank you so much. You know, like,
Kerstin Ramstrom:I'm so glad you say that, I talk to my liver all the time...
Alyssa Degati:I do, I like I'm just I'm always talking and hugging my liver and like touching myself and kissing myself. And just because I feel like I have a lot to make up for you know, like, I'm just so grateful. And there are still moments when I get into trauma loops, where I go back in that cycle of like... my initial reaction, a lot of times in like a panic moment is still Oh my god, like, my body's failing or what's happening just like that fear of death, just like losing control and not feeling safe. And then I quickly remind myself like, no, it's complete opposite and my body's not attacking me. My body's not failing me. My body's helping me. And so it's it's, it's been really cool to just see that shift, one of many things, but I'm just full of gratitude.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah, his work is such a gift.
Alyssa Degati:It's so profound.
Kerstin Ramstrom:It's such an understatement, but I mean, my goodness,
Alyssa Degati:it's so beautiful.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So where does your health stand now?
Alyssa Degati:My... so I really went a lot deeper last year. And I started... because I had progressively been, you know, healing tremendously a lot. And I think I started with, obviously my two biggest symptoms were the anxiety and the acne that plagued me. And so that was sort of my focus and everything. I mean, instantaneously, I was feeling relief, like from the first day, I started to feel improvements, whether they were big or small. I was moving forward, even at moments in the journey when I wasn't perfect. And I had 'no food' or I was always moving forward and learning so much about myself and, and it's been great, but I really just felt called to go deeper last year. And that really moved me forward. Like I kind of felt like maybe I was sort of plateaued and that really like catapulted me and fast to a new level of healing. And I had to, I had to go through some rough patches, and I feel like I had to, you know, some stuff surface from deep within that. You know, it's that two steps forward three steps back, I think is what they say like,
Kerstin Ramstrom:Three steps forward, two steps back,
Alyssa Degati:Two steps back, it's definitely so up and down, a roller coaster and, but I feel like that has been strengthening me along the way, just like, the more that happens, and the more I get like a grasp on how this whole healing journey works, like, it gets a little bit easier. And so I've had some bumps in the road, but to where I stand today, it's unbelievable. Like how far I've come. I've 99% healed my body acne that I had for 20 years, which
Kerstin Ramstrom:I was gonna sitting here with the video, like your skin is radiant.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you. It's unbelievable. I truly didn't think I would ever have clear skin. So that's, I mean, huge. And then, so much. Like I said, I had that list of over 100 things and I was going through and it's like, oh my god, like most of this is all healed. I still sometimes will get a flare like recently, last month, I got hit with a virus and it really knocked me down. And I had you know, some things resurface. But even even in that, it's nothing like it was before. And I think I'm so used to feeling so amazing. Like, my energy is amazing. And I feel so good all the time that when I do get sick, which is like very rare. Or I do have something flare up or whatever it's like, like, I'm just not used to, you know, you know, feeling bad. And so
Kerstin Ramstrom:It's funny, because recently I've had.... one of my biggest issues when I started over five years ago now was brain fog. And over the last week or so, I've had some brain fog issues for the first time in years. And I was laughing with my mom, because I said I get so irritated. I said it's not nearly as bad as it was. It's just a little bit of it. But I haven't had it in so long. I thought it was gone and I just get mad, I'm not tolerant of it. I'm like, Okay, I've got to change some things up. So we're sitting doing this, she can see I'm sitting here drinking heavy metal detox smoothie every few minutes. So just trying to keep my glucose up. But it's like, I have no tolerance for it anymore. It's like, my standards are higher. I'm gonna feel better.
Alyssa Degati:Exactly and I just don't Yeah, I don't.... I just love feeling good. And that's my new normal. I think I was so used to feeling so bad. I didn't know any different. But brain fog is the worst. And I had, I mean severe to the point where I, I couldn't speak. I would stutter, always on my cycle, I would stutter. Can't put sentences together and dyslexic. And just I mean, the brain.... just so bad. I just, I've actually never done drugs or anything, but I equate it to just... I felt high all the time. Like I just could not think and sometimes it pops up like randomly and you wonder why, but you know, there's so many exposures around us, there's so many things. But yeah, it is rare, I would say the biggest thing for me that I'm really working to heal is and as we know, like our nerves takes such a long time to heal. And my nervous system has been hit so incredibly hard. And I'm so sensitive. So I know that that is going to take time and it might take me a few more years. And I don't care how long it takes, like I'm, I'm just I'm here for it. So, but every day gets a little bit better. And I just feel so like, eternally grateful just to have this wisdom, this information, this work and to have hope now, like even when I was just sick, I was so empowered. And I healed myself completely naturally because I had the tools and it was empowered to do so. And I knew exactly what was going on. And I have this beautiful relationship with my body where it's like, it just feels like we're supporting each other and we just... you surrender into it. And it was just like I was just even though I was sick and miserable. Like I was so grateful for Anthony, for spiri, and for this life-giving foo s that I get to nourish myse f with every day. It's real y remarkable and how it's chang d me as a person and carried i to every aspect of my life and m relationships. And it's hard ecause where I live and you now, within my family and you now, in my life and circle here it's not common. And it's no really like always received be ause you can't... I think the people that find this work and this information, like you know we've all been through the dep hs of darkness together. And think you have to. You can't ju t... I've gifted people so many ooks and in the beginning I wan ed to shout it from the rooft ps and push it on people lik I have the answers. Don't you w nt the answers? but people don t. People don't. And you have... like what is that saying? You ca bring a horse to water, but yo can't make him drink. But it's so true, like, you can't orce anybody, you have to b ready. And so I just, you know kind of do my own thing. And and I just love connecting wit all of you in the community. An thank God for social media because I have met like, m family through social media an all of you and I don't fee alone anymore, which that i itself is like, so beautiful
Kerstin Ramstrom:I agree it is such a gift. It's such a gift for, I think, for all of us. It's something I've definitely felt too so I understand. I'm glad you're here in our community.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you.
Kerstin Ramstrom:So my one big question for you is, is there any new music coming?
Alyssa Degati:There's a lot of music coming! The really beautiful thing for me last year, you know.... I know we were in a pandemic and still are, in quarantine. But it was so beautiful for me, because I had no schedule, I didn't have to go to work, I didn't have anywhere to be. So not only was it very healing for me on a physical healing level, where I could just rest and just be in my own safe space and like, cook my food, you know, having time to do all that I wanted to do, juicing and living in the kitchen, got deep rest, but like, I got to choose what I wanted, how I wanted to spend my time. And you know, if money didn't exist, and we didn't have to go out and work and what would I do with my time and that was obvious. And all I did was music. And so I really, like I wrote more songs than I ever have combined in my life. And I've just had some really amazing doors, you know, continue to open, I just really feel like it's, it's all the work of God. And I'm just surrendering and trusting to the greater plan. But it's what lights me up the most, it's my greatest passion is music, and it's so... it's my therapy, it's so healing for me. And if one just one person that you know, I share this music with can have, can feel that hope or feel that love or resonate in anyway, like that is such a gift to me. And that heals me and inspires me to keep going. So that's what I'm doing. And I'm writing I've already written a ton this year, and I'm gonna keep releasing some more songs. Right now I have three songs that are released, I just released one that I wrote last year called Better Together. And I just released that a few weeks ago, it's all been really spontaneous. I haven't, you know, had like, a plan, I kind of just, you know, I've had a lot of people, I'll put little teasers out there, and they'll beg me to release it. And I'm like, okay, here it is, without any warning. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to be better about promoting. But yes, more music to come.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Well, we'll promote some of it in the show notes. So if people want to find it, we'll give them a place to go look!
Alyssa Degati:Yeah, that would be wonderful.
Kerstin Ramstrom:And I've said this to you before, you know, one of my missions with the podcast, and the work that I do is to try to get exposure for other things that make this lifestyle easier. And there's a lot of facets to that, right, like some of it is, so that we have, you know, to promote companies that support this lifestyle, but just to try to expand the boundaries of this community to make this lifestyle easier to live. And one of the things, I've never felt that we've really had, is music for it. And while I have a few things that I listen to, I haven't really clicked in with anything that I feel like grounds me in this Medical Medium community space that I'm so happy and so comfortable in, sort of like what you've said, and so I look forward to your music because it's just another piece of that community. And I think while I know that I'm very excited about it, I think there's gonna be a lot of other people who are really excited about it too. Because, you know, music is one of those things that it reaches us at a deeper level and it brings us together.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you so much. So that's,
Kerstin Ramstrom:I just look forward to.. I look forward to everything.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you so much. That's you know, that's so true. Like when I said it, it's this, this journey has affected all areas of my life. Like it's true, like what I used to enjoy, I don't anymore, and I'm very, very aware and particular about what I absorb into my field, whether it's movies or TV, especially music. That was like the first thing that that shifted for me that I even lost friends over. Because people... I mean, music is so important to people, like it's truly like an incredible force here on earth and it connects us all. It doesn't matter, you know, what language you speak or what it is, it's that frequency. And so it really connects people and that was really hard because I felt like I didn't have anywhere to turn or I didn't have music that I wanted to listen to or that felt good in my body or anything. And so I've received messages like that to have just like I, you know, I didn't have music I could listen to. And now I feel like you know, I'm so grateful I found your music because I feel like I can listen to something again. I just like, I'm so blessed. I know, I keep saying it. But I'm so thankful. I'm so grateful for that, like I don't, it's just an honor. And I don't take it lightly. It really means the world. And so yeah, there'll be a lot more to come. And I'm really excited about what's been.... what I've been creating and excited to share more. So thank you for listening.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yeah, thank you for doing all of it. We really appreciate it. I will speak on behalf of everybody. Like, I'm thrilled. I can't wait. I have one last question that I try to ask to most of my guests. If you could say one thing to somebody who's just starting out, what would it be?
Alyssa Degati:Self compassion, self love, self trust and surrender. I would say, and I know Anthony says this, that Spirit says that compassion is the most important piece to healing. And I truly believe that and it's been proven to me time and time again. Self love and self compassion, you can't have love without compassion. That is the most powerful force I think on earth and, and to trust, trust your journey and trust that you're being guided and carried every step of the way. Even when you don't feel like it. Know that every step you're taking matters and it counts and it's moving you forward. And it's all gonna make sense in hindsight, and then surrender. Surrender to it all. Because we are so small down here, and there's so much more going on. There's so much more happening and we are so divinely guided, especially if you're guided to this information and know like that you are healing. And sometimes it takes time, but it's all working out for you. So surrender, trust and compassion.
Kerstin Ramstrom:That's so beautiful. Thank you so much.
Alyssa Degati:Thank you, Kerstin. I love you.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Thank Alyssa, I love you too! Thank you so much for being on this show. It's gonna be such a gift for everybody who gets to listen to it. I'm so excited.
Alyssa Degati:Me too. I can't wait. Thank you.
Kerstin Ramstrom:Yes, thank you. I really hope you enjoyed this episode. You can find Alyssa across Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and Tiktok at Alyssa Degati which is spelled ALYSSA. Last name, DEGATI. You can find her music on all of the major platforms such as iTunes, Amazon Music, Pandora, and Spotify. I'll put links for all of this in the show notes. Show Notes for this episode, Episode 19, are available on my website at CarefullyHealing.com/podcast. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I look forward to seeing you next week.
