Building Self-Worth For High School Girls Through Glow Girl

We can joke about frogs in throats and the nightmare of finding a mouse in a bottle, but there’s a reason those stories grab us. Our brains lock onto disgust and fear fast and teens live with that same speed every day, except the target is often themselves.

Jonelle breaks down how her work unexpectedly shifted from a corporate audience to what now feels like the clearest mission yet: Glow Girl, a confidence and self-worth program for high school girls. We talk through what a Glow Girl day can look like at a school, from a keynote on finding your voice to workshops and breakout sessions that make the learning stick. The heart of it is the GG leadership piece, where students carry the message forward through the school year instead of letting it fade after one assembly.

Then we get into the exercise that stops rooms cold. Students and adults answer anonymously what they’ve said negatively about themselves and watch it form a word cloud in real time. The twist is what comes next: naming something positive you noticed about someone else in the room. That contrast exposes a hard truth about school culture and workplace culture: we think kind things, but if we don’t use our voice, people walk around alone with their worst thoughts.

We also touch on why boys need this work too, why separate spaces can help them share honestly, and why Terry might need a guitar in his hands if he ever takes the stage. If you care about teen mental health, social emotional learning, student leadership, and real confidence skills, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share it with a teacher or parent, and leave a review with the one kind thing you wish people said out loud more often.

Transcript

Intro & Banter

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to No Stage Lights, a podcast where we go behind the smoke and mirrors of everything from marriage to entrepreneurship. I'm your host, Chanelle Carter.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

And I'm Terry Carter.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And I have a frog in my throat. Really? When I was little, my grandparents used to tell me that there were like toads in the bottom of like soda cans. What? They did.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Like why?

SPEAKER_01 0:23

I don't know. That's to mess with me. But you know how like you can hear like in the bottom of like a pop can like the water the fluid moves.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Moving around.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

My grandpa would say, Well, you better make sure there's a lot of tote in the bottom.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Wow. I will say what before I don't want to get us off subject, but that's a kind of fitting. My dad found a mouse.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

That's a thing now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Not now, but in the bottle, in the bottom of a Pepsi bottle.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

I would so die a very quick death.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

He remember, I know I was a kid when this happened, but he said that when you tipped the bottle, oh I said he felt it hit him.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Okay, okay. Ah you said it.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

I did. Somebody just recently, you know what like Alani drinks are? The energy drinks. We had probably had some out in the freeze fridge. That there was a mouse.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

I mean I can handle just about anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

That's a really but not a mouse.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

I guess I've never I've Ooh, I don't even want my feet down right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

I've been in breweries where they make beer and where they make hard liquor that like the one place, the spirits that we placed. That place is spotless, man. You could eat off the floor with the vats and everything, and they're like, Yeah, but even if there's like a bunch of sugar and stuff, I don't even know.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

I don't even want to.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Yeah, and pop and things like that is gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Remember when we were at the hardware store? We were at a hardware store, like a big box one, and a mouse ran across.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

But we were also like in the the seed aisle, like where there's all sorts of like feed for animal all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

I won't even go down that aisle anymore.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

Basically in his own small discord, yeah. And I went, ah That was awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I knew we'd get off track.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

We always do.

What Is Glow Girl?

SPEAKER_01 2:19

So tell him what it's about because it's it's kind of your thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

I would rather you it's we're gonna talk a little bit about what Glowgirl and with the whole impressionable ages of young teenagers.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Yeah, yeah. So they always say that when you're finding your purpose, when you're finding your thing, you think it's like going this way, and almost nine times out of ten, it goes boom, and that's where it's at. And I feel like that's what's happened. That's what it that's what it's supposed to sound like.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

That's quite a description. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

That's what's happened in my career and with my company that I'm that we're building. And it started out like this is my target audience, and then it went this way.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

And because it felt right.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

And it's I love it this age group. So I'm a speaker and an author, and I do speak to all audiences, corporate, you name it, men, women, both. I originally started out with a female corporate audience. That's what was my target, and I still love that audience.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Banking, actually.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

It was a yeah, women women in banking, and it was really really where it started. And I still love Love Lake, I love that audience. But I started getting into working with schools and not just girls, but co-ed. But what I really love the most is this Glow Girl program that I've built and put together with the help of so many people in education who believe in it and believe in me. And I've had the privilege of being in front of thousands of high school girls and presenting my program. And I love it so much. They're my like I love them.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

You're very relatable, and I think you you make them comfortable. Because I I went to one, I was able to go to one and observe and just your whole the way you come across your personality. You're very approachable, you're very it's not a it they're not afraid to open up, they're not afraid to talk to you, they're not it's but it's wild to me because I do feel connected with them, but I do feel older.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

I guess if somebody somebody were to say, What's your insecurity? Because I what I speak about and I teach is confidence, self-worth, self-talk, kindness, how are we showing up? Who do we want to be? This whole big that's what I do. And so when somebody says to me, like, where's your insecurity lie? And it's that I want to be relevant, and it's and I'm still surprised because there is such an age difference.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

Well, you never think you're like the cool yeah, but they're not gonna I don't think they would respond. I know I wouldn't respond to somebody who's just a few years older than me. I'd be like, what could they possibly know more? That's true. Well, you want somebody that's in that mix of having had life experiences and had things happen, not so much to where you were around when the light bulb was invented. You don't want to be that old, but you want to, you know, because the standards have changed. You are still, for lack of better terms, you're still hip to what's happening.

SPEAKER_01 6:10

I just don't, yes, you're thinking. You know what I'm saying? It's not yeah. I mean it's just funny because you go through through high school as a young female, and I didn't. You barely went through high school. What are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_02 6:23

True.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

You were home playing your guitar. You go through high school though, let me just speak on behalf of young women, and you're hoping your jeans are tight rolled the right way, or I'm really aging myself, but you're really hoping you're trying to keep up, right? And then you think that's gonna go away, and then you get to be my age and you go back to the school and you're like, oh god, I hope my shirt looks okay. You just hope you're relevant, and and so far I have been, and I love that there's a response. And it was just such a surprising audience for me. I didn't I see it now, of course, because I taught youth group. You want to go all the way back to I taught Bible school, Sunday school, youth group. I was always guiding and teaching. Which led you to here, and duh, but you don't always see it until then.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

And this be this has nothing to do with I don't know why I'm interrupting you, but I'm gonna anyway. No. The one thing I've noticed, you know, like how you're saying you wanted to be relevant, does your shirt look okay? Blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. What I see today's fashion, it's already been done.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Well, yeah, it's all it's always repeating.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

Yeah, it's already been done. Yeah. The 70s have already sorry guys. Oh, yeah. They beat you to it.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Fashion does repeat. Yeah, it becomes it.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Yeah, and it just kind of that's why it's just so funny. I look at the haircuts that the guys are wearing and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

I'm like, oh yeah, like all the molds are back.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

And well, that's the 80s. But yeah, prior to that, I went to school with the kids that look like they're cutting their hair this way.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

It all comes back. It all comes back around.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

Yeah.

unknown 7:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

Sorry about that. No, no, it's funny, but because you but you're right.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

So I guess my brother used to wash his jeans in the sorry, Roy, I'm throwing you in the bus. He won't listen anyway. He used to wash his jeans in the bathtub. And I kid you not, with so much soap, I you could literally, and he wouldn't, we didn't have a washer and dryer. So he would wash them every single night, never miss the night. And he would just wring them out, wouldn't rinse the soap out. He would just ring them. And my mom, we used to laugh because she was like, We could stand them up in the corner. They were like so damn still. But he would do that because he had ball bottoms and he put a crease down the middle so when he put them on, the the center crease in the pant leg would reach the end of his boot. And that's totally and that was totally cool. And it's totally back. And it's totally back.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Totally back. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Maybe I should get him to fix my jeans up for me.

SPEAKER_02 8:57

I I don't recommend it. All that's so I mean, I bet he smelled good. We always used to laugh. What if he gets caught in the rain?

SPEAKER_01 9:06

You wouldn't lose him. He'd be like one whole, one whole bubble walking back. Mr. Bubble. Poor Roy. He's pretty cool though. Yeah, he's very cool. Yeah, yeah, it does come back around. And I see it when I'm at the schools. I see the fashion. You know what's crazy too about I'm very like, man, I wish that we would have had this idea because everybody just wears hoodies and super cute sweatpants. Nobody's getting dressed up really for school. And we were wearing, I remember when I was a freshman and the senior girl decided she was gonna wear high heels with her jeans and a French twist. Listen, French twists were saved for homecoming dances, but she wore jeans, heels, and a French twist. I don't know what a French twist is. You take your hair and you do this and clip it. Okay. That's a French twist. And I was like, next thing you know, everybody's wanting to wear heels and jeans. And now today they're wearing like, you know, no, you got a real hang up with those shoes. We're not even gonna mention them. But they're wearing Berks and like socks with Berks, the Jesus sandals. That those again socks, yeah. Back in style. So yeah, I do see it when I'm going into the school, but I want to tell them about Glowgirl because I just want to no, it's totally fine. I want to share that with them. So Glowgirl is a program that is specifically for high school girls, freshman through senior, or however the school decides that they want to like organize and present that. And so it can be a half day or it can be a full day program. And basically I come in keynote for an hour, and then we have all kinds of workshops, breakout sessions. I'm involved the entire way with the school, really shaping it to the way that works for them, the way that they need it. And the thing that I'm most excited about are the GGs.

The GG Program & Workshops

SPEAKER_01 11:12

So the Gigi's are glowgirls, and they are they can be any age, freshman through senior. And they really are the ones who help to continue those, that program and those lessons throughout the rest of the school year. And the great thing about being a GG is that when you do the Glow Girl program, everybody gets to write out, create their Gigi avatar. And basically what that means is who do you want to be? How do you want to show up in your community, in your own personal life, with your family, with your friends, with your teachers in school, all of the things. Who do you want to show up as? And we write this kind of like avatar out. And then everything that they do runs up against that. And if it's, you know what, this group of friends or this opportunity or whatever it might be doesn't like align with who I want to be. Gives them like proof or like something to actually run it up against. Does that make sense? And so that's been a really exciting part of Glow Girl is watching the Gigi's and watching them blossom and figure out like, who do I want to be? What skin do I want to walk in? Who can I picture myself being?

SPEAKER_02 12:35

And there's a whole lot more to it, but

The Word Cloud Exercise

SPEAKER_02 12:38

I gotta say the biggest impact that I took away from it was when you did the what are we saying to each other? That to me, that was that's moving because you I watched, I looked around the room and you just see the jaws dropping.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Yeah. So we do an exercise where it is like a compare and contrast of what you're saying to yourself and what others are thinking about you. And it's a really beautiful exercise because answers are coming up in real time. And so what it does is it gives the room a peek into the brains of others. So for instance, I'm gonna ask a question on a screen, and you can answer anonymously. And one of those questions is, What have you said negatively about yourself recently? And they come up in like word cloud formation. And it's really intense when you start to see the answers.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Yeah, it's sad.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

It is. And this exercise, I have done this exercise all over the country with C-suite, with junior high kids, you name it, everyone in between. And I can tell you one thing that the answers are almost all the same.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Yeah. It doesn't matter what age group, but that that was wild. Yeah. You have corporate, yeah, very high-end, like up in the ranks, corporate people saying these things to themselves.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Yeah. Our good friend Dr. Dan Stecken, who's the superintendent of Seneca High School, and honestly, one of my biggest supporters in this educational realm is uh we attended his stress leaders conference, which we'll tag right here because it's coming up this summer, not too long from now.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

And another cold plunge.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Terry cold plunge for the first time was awesome. And but I spoke at that stress leaders last year, and we did that exercise, and he still talks about it. He's my wife and I still talk about how we have this room full of high-level leaders who are supposedly very confident in big jobs, leading big companies and big school, huge jobs. And the answers that we're coming across were not a surprise to me because I've seen it so many times now, but very shocking to many people. So the contrast is then we do the same exact exercise, only the question is much different. And the question is what is something positive you've noticed about someone in the room today? And when those answers start popping up, they are there's a stark difference between night and day. Yes. And my lesson in that is because my keynote is finding your voice and elevating your confidence and self-worth. My lesson in that is if you are not using your voice to say these things that you're thinking, then the people that you love or the people you work with, the people around you are walking through their entire day with those other thoughts in their head, the ones that you've seen. Now you've seen into the a peek into their brain. And you have the power and the ability to make a difference by simply using your voice. And it's so it's amazing. It's an amazing exercise. And I don't say that because I came up with it or thought of it or execute it, but I say that because people are vulnerable enough to share for just a couple of minutes there, and it's really life-changing. Yeah, it's really something. So it's something we do with Glowgirl for sure, too. And

Terry & Public Speaking

SPEAKER_01 16:21

just to be very clear, my keynote is finding your voice. Yeah. And so anywhere in the country, anywhere in the world. Yeah, all over. I really have had a lot of requests. Oh, you're gonna be so mad at me. I have though. I have had so many requests when I'm doing Glowgirl, there are because here's what we're noticing the young men, they need it to. But if you put the young men and the young women together, especially in that age group, they get they're not as eager to share. And so I have had multiple requests for Mr. Carter here, who is an incredible leader, to lead those young men.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

That's a discussion.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Nothing like throwing you under the mess. No, but it's a positive thing.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

It is a very positive thing. You have the gift of gap in a pot.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

So do you. You're an incredible leader.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

And we're gonna just No, don't get embarrassed. I'm not no it I told you before. I'm mentally trying to get there.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yeah, yeah. I know it needs to make sense for you and what's it?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

It has nothing to do with making sense. It's about getting up there and sharing just who you are. No, no. Being able to get past the whole talking in front of a large crowd without a guitar in my hand.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

You so you put a guitar in your hand. Yeah. That's gonna make you even cooler. Did you just see did anybody see Eric Church? Eric Church just did a I'm gonna totally botch this. The graduation talk. He he was like the speaker for like a college or university graduation, and and it was he had his guitar on the whole time, and he used examples of different strings on the guitar as different parts of your life, and it was really incredible.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

From what I saw, I would look too. Yeah, that was cool. All right, all right, all right, all right.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Terry, I just another a fun story about Terry and his guitar. Terry and I went to we did go to college together for a little while while just a short bit. Yeah, we were both in nursing school at the same time, and he we had to take a speech class together, and the only way that Terry would do any public speaking at all in that speech class is if he had his guitar strapped on.

SPEAKER_02 18:59

I conned my teacher into I didn't con her. I begged her.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

We did beg her. We also took an algebra class together. Shout out to Mr. Moss. And it was rough. The first thing that happened was our very first test. You can take it from here.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

I looked at it, realized it wasn't going to happen, put my book in my book bag, put everything away, took the test up to the teacher and said, I'm not gonna waste your time. This isn't gonna happen. Yeah, and and I told you I'd wait for you out in the hall. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

And we were the only adults in this class.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

We were basically chaperoning it. But he chased me out of the door and he goes, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What a wonderful yeah, what a wonderful teacher.

SPEAKER_00 19:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

But yeah, he chased me out the door and he goes, okay, just take it home. He knew where I was at mentally. He's like, he saw it.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

He's like and I was like, you suck. Now I have to go into class and take my test, but you don't. So he let me take it home and he let you take it home, and then when it came time to take the final.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

I still struggled.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Jeez, it's like they always say that people who are good at music are great at math too, and it missed me. It yeah, I it completely missed me. I'm okay at math. I'm not that kind of math. I'm good at percentages. People can see your face now. I'm not did we remind you, listeners, because I know you're listen used to listening to us on audio only, but we have a YouTube channel now. And so you can see our faces. You can see what the face that Terry's making right now.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

You sure can.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

So anyway, we had to go into class to take that final.

SPEAKER_02 20:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

And I think it was that night he messaged us and he said, Well, I've graded both of your finals and I added them together, averaged them out to give you both a passing grade. But for the sake of your relationship, I won't tell you who scored higher. So we don't know.

SPEAKER_02 21:00

I'm sure it was you.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

I know it was you. It had to be you. Are you kidding? Have you heard me math lately? Okay, it was you.

Call to Action

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Listen, if you are somebody who either you're listening and you're needing a speaker to come in, or you're working in a school, or you're a student, whatever it is, if I can serve in any way, I would love to be part of whatever you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 21:29

It's a wonderful program.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

No, thank you very much. Yeah, it's very special, it's close to my heart, and I'm excited because I'm gonna be presenting to the state school board and all kinds of exciting things this year. And not only do I work with the students, but then I can work with the staff, the teachers, everybody too. And it's just such a needed thing on all ends.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Very much is.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

I will tell you out of all of the audiences, whether it's been music or speaking, we've played music around the world, the most terrifying audience. So far has been sixth grade boys. They get me shaking in my boots.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

I can imagine.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Because I'm like, can I yell at them? I don't know. What do I do with them?

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Shut up.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

I don't know. I'm not a teacher, so I don't know. They scare me so bad. But they're but you know what? They're even sweet too.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

We are quickly running out of time. Thank you for this. Was Harry's idea to talk about Glowgirl today.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

I think it's a good, it's a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Always appreciate your support. I love ya.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

Hey. I just did a Fonzie. We'll edit that out.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Signing out on. I'm Janelle Carter.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

And I'm Fonzie.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

We'll see you again. Thank you guys. We'll see you soon. Take care.