When the Bill Comes Due

Ep 9: From Roots to Wakanda

February 08, 2021 Aaron & Tamu Season 1 Episode 9
When the Bill Comes Due
Ep 9: From Roots to Wakanda
Show Notes Transcript

Happy Black History Month! The shortest month...but anyway. Come through as Aaron and Tamu  chronicle Great Moments in Black America from Lil Uzi Vert to Tessica Brown. They talk about the legacy of 1977s Roots and how far the black story has come from slavery to the  futuristic world of Wakanda.
The throwback threw everyone for a loop! They took a deep dive into New York hustle music with the homophobic jam “Another Man,” sung by Barbara Mason. Many pearl-clutching moments for us all! Come through, family! 


Aaron: [00:00:00] [00:00:00]Wow. Well,

That literally just fell out. You know why? Because that's like my, that was my Negro spiritual like channeling. 

Tamu: [00:00:49] Well, it works out. It is black history month. So you might as well Negro spiritual it out. 

Aaron: [00:00:54] It's right we used to tease, my youngest daughter, because she would be playing or like [00:01:00] sitting at the table.

just singing Tamu. We would just be like, Oh, there she go. She singing her own Negro spirituals 

Tamu: [00:01:11] visited by some angel. 

Aaron: [00:01:13] She does. She still does it today. Sometimes we have to like, be like, grow up girl, come on. Let's just eat. 

Tamu: [00:01:18] Leave her be

Aaron: [00:01:19] She been here before.

Trust me on that one. 

Tamu: [00:01:22] Welcome to when the bill comes to I'm Tamu. 

Aaron: [00:01:25] Hey guys. I'm Aaron 

Tamu: [00:01:26] and it's February. We made it through the longest year of January. 

Aaron: [00:01:31] It's been a month. We one month today 

Tamu: [00:01:33] for what? 

Aaron: [00:01:34] Today's the sixth. 

Tamu: [00:01:35] Oh, for the insurrection?

Aaron: [00:01:38] Yeah. Ignorance, whatever you want to call 

it. Yeah. 

Tamu: [00:01:41] Hey, on Tuesday. We get to. Watch it all unfold in court, again, the stupid ass. Oh, 

Aaron: [00:01:47] or more are you going to watch any of that? 

Tamu: [00:01:49] I'm thinking it'll be on in the background, but I don't know if I'm going to actually be paying too close of attention. I mean, just probably to make sure that, you know, the whites don't lose their shit again and start [00:02:00] to attack the Capitol.

Aaron: [00:02:01] I'm so disconnected from it honestly. Wait, I had to like, step away

Tamu: [00:02:06] You started a new job. You don't have time to focus on a craziness of government.

Aaron: [00:02:11] I want to say this on air. You are right.

You were right. My  optimist heart was leading for,  just please don't be the same old, same old. And it looked like that shit's keeping up. 

Tamu: [00:02:23] Wait, 

Aaron: [00:02:23] no, 

Tamu: [00:02:24] What brough this about?

Aaron: [00:02:25] From our last

Tamu: [00:02:26] Yes. But what brought it about? 

Aaron: [00:02:28] Well, watching the stupid, um, Stimulus bill.

Right. There were some bi-partisan shit going on and then slowly, surely, I think during that whole time, they took a vote on the impeachment and they, all of those senators voted not to impeach Trump. And I just thought this is going to be the same old shit. I could just feel it.

You could just feel it like. Stirring through. So yeah, that would be my moment where I was like, Oh fuck. That bitch was right.

I could have texted you, [00:03:00] but I felt like, we should put this on air, you know? 

Tamu: [00:03:02] I appreciate being told that I was right. I'm sorry. I was, I wish I was wrong. 

Aaron: [00:03:06] Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. I was just thinking Rich and my two twins went out today and they were at Target or something and, yeah, it's COVID too.

 I just think like black people are just super hypersensitive about every interaction. I think it today, in society right? More than ever,  some of them has been here before and been woke since they've been woke, but a lot of us are waking up. Right? even my own kids, they described to me they were standing in line and I guess my son had sneezed, or I dunno, made a quick move or something. And she kinda just like,  clutch the pearls a little bit. And I was just like, ah,  it's, when things like that happen that I think as much as I would rather eat salt, For 10 days straight with nothing else, then move back to Texas or,  move back South or move back where there's more diversity.

I do think about that from my kids. I just think it's just different up here, even in [00:04:00] Minnesota, like we can't move there. I don't want to, I live on the North side you can't find that diversity in Minneapolis, you can't find that diversity in Minneapolis, you may not be able to find it in Atlanta. Right. But I would imagine there's more of a melting pot there. Like Texas, there's more of a melting pot in my opinion of different cultures, different folks, but it's the politics and the racism and the, everything that.

I couldn't deal with, so it's hard. Where do we go? 

Tamu: [00:04:28] I'm trying to figure it out. Cause I'm trying to get the fuck out of this country. I digress. 

Aaron: [00:04:32] That's for another day, sis.

Tamu: [00:04:33] Since it's black history month, I thought that we could talk about some, , really great moments in black America today,

The first one and you probably don't know who the hell this is. Cause I don't necessarily know either. Well, you might know, since you would trap rap queen nowadays

Aaron: [00:04:48] Eh Meg, what's up girl. 

Tamu: [00:04:49] So a rapper, Lil Uzi Vert. Do you know who that is? You can Google it. Cause you're going to have to Google Lil Uzi Vert diamond.

Aaron: [00:04:57] Hold on. Holy shit. [00:05:00] This is a lot like. 

Tamu: [00:05:01] It's not a lot. It's four words. 

Aaron: [00:05:03] Little does she spell easy? Like easy. 

Tamu: [00:05:05] Uzi like a gun and it's a he Uzi, 

Aaron: [00:05:09] Uzi vert diamond. Oh shit. This rapper got a 20. Yes. I heard about him. 

Tamu: [00:05:16] Okay. 

Aaron: [00:05:17] I have no clue who he is, but I just thought how the fuck. Oh, boy. 

Tamu: [00:05:21] I don't understand why you put a diamond in your head.

What are you Vision from fucking Avengers? It doesn't make any sense to me. The things that we do with our money. 

Aaron: [00:05:31] Let me look at this picture here. Jesus Christ. Are you fucking kidding me? Why? This is what people do with money. You know what? I'm no tea, no shade. Congratulations brother, you got $24 million that you wanted to spend to put a diamond in your head.

Tamu: [00:05:46] He said he saved up for three years for that. It cost more than his cars and his houses. 

Aaron: [00:05:52] Well, you know what? You keep shining bro. 

Tamu: [00:05:55] Legit shining because you're shining fucking diamond in your head. 

Aaron: [00:05:59] Don't get [00:06:00] robbed.

Tamu: [00:06:00] The fuck is wrong with people, uh, who will comes up because you know, it was a good idea for you to look like a cartoon character.

Aaron: [00:06:06] It's like them, people that are like injecting concrete in their or the, the Twitter you sent me about the girl and the gorilla glue, 

Tamu: [00:06:13] she's my next person. But for me, her story goes deeper. So Big ups to you Lil Uzi Vert. I hope that that doesn't get caught in a sweater or something.

And you ripped that out your head and end up in a hospital or catch it infection from sticking some whack shit in your face. 

Aaron: [00:06:32] I don't even think that's healthy, but whatever, no tea, no shade. I'm done. 

Tamu: [00:06:37] Shine, bright bud shine. Bright. 

Aaron: [00:06:41] So. Our next great moment in black America is a young lady by the name. I think her name is Tessica Brown.

It's Tessica.

What's wrong with her. Oh, 

Tamu: [00:06:54] see, you don't even know her real name. 

Aaron: [00:06:58] I was like the fuck was I [00:07:00] supposed to study that part? Oops. Yeah, let's talk about this one. Let's get into it. 

Tamu: [00:07:05] So , Tessica for some reason, thought social media was a good place to put the fact that she, ran out of Got 2 be Glue, hairspray, cause she was,  trying to slick her hair down to her scalp.

Then decided to use Gorilla Glue spray. On her hair and Gorilla Glue spray is a permanent adhesive. So her hair is permanently bonded in place everyone's like, Oh girl, you know, you got the baby hair. There's just right. You know, it's super, yeah. Slicked down and smooth, like to the scalp.

However, she cannot. Get it off. And apparently she has had her hair like that for a month and has been unable to use any sort of soap product to get rid of it. So she posted this on Tik TOK,  and said, don't ever do this, don't ever use gorilla glue spray on your hair. Well, right. Then in the second piece of the video, she has [00:08:00] a bottle of Pantene and she's putting it in her hair and basically just wiping it off and nothing's happening.

Her hair is just the same. 

Aaron: [00:08:08] There's so much to unpack from that video. Can we just start with what is Got 2 Be  Real spray?  Is it hairspray? Is it for black folks or is it just like no one has to lay down. 

Tamu: [00:08:20] I think it's a hairspray that black folks use to lay it down.  You know, they slick it down and then they set it.

And then it's super smooth or whatever. She must use that to kind of keep the flyaways down or whatever at her final set. 

Aaron: [00:08:33] What do you do with that? Like, can she cut it off? Is it 

Tamu: [00:08:38] You see that shit is slicked down to her head? 

Aaron: [00:08:40] But it looks like it's kind of growing out a little bit.

Tamu: [00:08:45] That shit ain't growing out . 

Aaron: [00:08:46] I don't understand. That's like the concrete booty people. I just don't. I don't, what, what is the point? I don't get it 

Tamu: [00:08:53] In the update from yesterday, she had to go to the emergency room because  she can't get it [00:09:00] off. So, the people at gorilla glue actually responded to her and told her what she should do, but they were like, uh, it's been a month.

And also what the hell? Right. So she ended up going to the hospital to the ER and they gave her  it must be acetone and just like water or whatever, kind of try to solution it out. Cause that's, what's going to have to happen. She's going to have to do that.  Her sister apparently, or it's her sister or her friend, she made it Tik Tok and it was like, don't use gorilla glue.

Oh your hair. 

Aaron: [00:09:32] I think I've seen that one and I saw it and I was like, what the fuck? 

Tamu: [00:09:37] And then she's in, Tessica's, because video where she's helping her put that acetone on her hair and it's burning her scalp and she's,  in pain, trying to get something to happen.

Aaron: [00:09:49] Yeah. I'm going to pray for Tessica, but there's a lot of special people that try these things. 

Tamu: [00:09:54] My problem with it is it's fucked up that people are laughing at her and, making her feel bad.

I'm [00:10:00] sure. Whatever. However she decided to make the decision and determination to put glue in her hair, whether it be a mistake reading miscomprehension. I wouldn't do that because I know gorilla glue is glue based on commercials plus glue. It's not the same thing as a hairspray, also not sold in the same sections of the store.

So neither here nor there. My issue is with the beauty standards that we place on ourselves for this woman to have to do that because her hair is not good enough, the way that it comes out of her head. So she has to slick it down to put it in an unnatural state, gel it down, do whatever the fuck she has to do to it, to make it look like that.

For baby hairs that don't nobody ever have, nobody was born with except maybe white people or Asian people or Hispanics and Indians. That's my problem. It's deeper than just as this poor woman putting glue on her hair. Why did she put the glue on her hair? 

Aaron: [00:10:58] Right? Yes, I would [00:11:00] agree. Absolutely.

I feel like we continue to be the joke.  Even though I mean, it is comical, right. It's sad, but it's comical. But if you really look at it, if you really think about it, just the there's an ingrained acceptance of ignorance and stupidity, you know? 

Tamu: [00:11:15] Yeah. However, For reasons, right?

 I spent, what? 32 years putting a chemical in my hair. That's so harsh that it rots out cans to make my hair straight to make it look like what to make some other person happy because apparently my hair wasn't good enough.

Screw that. All right. It's time for us to start to accept ourselves for what all we have because this shit look at this poor girl ruined forever, probably because she's trying to like have baby fine hair. You don't have it. It's okay. 

Aaron: [00:11:47] I do think about this issue and I, 100% agree with you. I, 100% agree that, we should be proud of our hair. Right. But I also think there's such great diversity and beauty in [00:12:00] our hair too. That we could, throw on a wig or, sew it in or get braids or whatever, I agree, that's the tough part too, because I think with our black girls, we have to build this sort of foundation of girl this is your hair, and this is okay, and I didn't do it. I certainly didn't do it. Right. I just didn't want to do it. So I got it braided my daughter was born around the time there was this whole natural hair movement and we didn't do anything to her hair.

But braided, but, I wish I had caught on to it or paid attention to it more,  I think I was really trying to not. how do you say, I think I was trying to not fit in, in a sense, meaning, I was different, you know, pre George Floyd, you know, pre George Floyd me. Didn't see that anyway. I digress. Sorry. 

Tamu: [00:12:47] No, that's fine. We're gonna have a big, episode on hair at some point. I'm sure. Cause it's a lot. I just wanted to make that statement and I feel like, some people are finally. Putting that emphasis on it. [00:13:00] instead of laughing at her and making her a joke, she came on the internet clearly in distress and needing help.

And I'm also sure that she will now be a representative for a gorilla glue. 

Aaron: [00:13:09] I want to play devil's advocate though. Do you think that this was on purpose?

Tamu: [00:13:15] I fucking hope not because this is a lot to make it, to make your buck. Hair is a  big deal. And I don't think, um, women would take that lightly and be like, you know what we're going to do. We're going to put glue in our hair and guess what I mean? 

Aaron: [00:13:27] Right. Well, I just want to know Where the hell did that idea?

Co like who the fuck said, bitch, go get you some gorilla glue. 

Tamu: [00:13:34] I think, cause it's a glue the same way as that other hairspray said glue, she must have thought. Cause there's also like a hair gel called gorilla snot

maybe she just thought, but it, I mean it's, it's a glue glue glue. 

Aaron: [00:13:49] A big chop is coming. 

Tamu: [00:13:51] I don't even know like what the hell they gonna chop her skin off shit. It's you saw how smooth they're here. 

Aaron: [00:13:57] It was laid out. I mean, I know, [00:14:00] Hey, I was like, bitch, what's the problem. But then I was instantly like, that's not coming out. What are you going to do? 

Tamu: [00:14:10] I remember getting the barrel brush stuck in my hair one time and I was so desperate to get it out. And my dad was like, no, we have to try , cause you're going to cut up  a bunch of your hair. And I was like, I don't care. He's like, we gotta get it out. So you worked through it. Got that shit out of my hair, but I remember that feeling of panic and desperation and just , Oh my God, what are you going to do?

Like, I'm going to be ball headed and I'm gonna be ugly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. you could hear it in her voice at certain points. She was just like, it's not coming out and she would break and I'd be like, Oh my God, I know exactly how you feel. 

That's deep. 

Aaron: [00:14:45] I would say 90%, 95% of me believes this is not some sort of like viral setup.

95% of me believes that. I just think that it's really odd. It is really odd [00:15:00] to come on social media, but everybody does it now.  So who am I to judge again, 

we're going to have to follow this saga. 

Tamu: [00:15:07] Oh, I followed every day. I literally was like, I gotta see if she's got to the hospital, like what's happening,

Aaron: [00:15:12] Oh my goodness. Bless her heart. 

Tamu: [00:15:15] Yeah. I just hope that her scalp can recover. She seems young. Maybe it will regenerate itself at some point, you know? Lots of wigs out there, girl, lots of lots and lots of wigs. And, I'm sure that she'll get like some kind of sponsorship from like a wig company or something.

Aaron: [00:15:33] Yeah. Oh yeah. This'll be a great story for her.  

Tamu: [00:15:35] It's an amazing 15 minutes of fame, not one that I would want. 

Aaron: [00:15:39] Happy black history month.

Tamu: [00:15:45] And that was great moments of black America. Let's hope we don't have any next week. 

 So it is actually a black history month and  I don't know about you, but I have started in my black history month programming of watching [00:16:00] wonderful documentaries and also show programming in relation to black history month.

Because on PBS, you only get like three days of actual content. So it's been exciting. 

Aaron: [00:16:11] Every time that I go on to prime or everywhere,  they all now have this prominent black hero was or whatever, black documentaries.

And I was like, Oh, well, this is nice. This is nice. You know how I feel about that? That's some bullshit, but anyway, it's some bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. 

Tamu: [00:16:29] HBO max must have just started their programming. So they literally have it broken down by movies, with black joy and movies with the black experience.

And Regina King says she likes these movies and Issa Ray likes these movies.

Aaron: [00:16:45] I see that. I didn't see that part, but 

 you and I were talking about you watching, roots the other day. And I was like, Oh, I need to watch that with the twins.

Tamu: [00:16:54] it's on HBO, max. 

Aaron: [00:16:55] I want to watch Roots with my kids and  we watch a movie on Fridays with the [00:17:00] younger kids. , I was trying to find a movie that just had a black story or something that was,  to their level.

 Not completely boring, but also not completely the truth, not the truth. We read books, we have,  a little books and they have little hero books, but maybe they don't need the true truth right now. They just need like a good truth 

Tamu: [00:17:20] There's some cartoon suggestions on there with black characters.

So that could be something 

Aaron: [00:17:26] we definitely do that like soul, the kids loved that, you know, I loved that movie just because. It was different, , it wasn't this, I don't know, princess which, you know, I'm not going to even justify that because I believe that my daughters can be more than a princess.

Is that I'm done with that. Anyway. I digress. What about Roots? , is it making you want to go out and draw a militia or

Tamu: [00:17:54] no, I have one episode left to go on at the end. I'm probably gonna [00:18:00] watch it on Monday during work times. Cause that should be what happens during black history month. What I have learned from watching original roots 1977 is that you should never trust white people. That's it?

Aaron: [00:18:17] I was like, I was hanging on that because roots,

Tamu: [00:18:27] Let me not say that because in roots, one of the lineages ends up befriending a white couple this guy was poor and starving and trying to feed his family and he went and stole food from like a pantry or whatever. And of course the black guy got beat up for it because they wouldn't believe that a white man came in and stole food. but he ended up helping this person and his wife. And then of course, this guy ends up getting a job on the plantation as what he overseer over [00:19:00] them.

But he had no idea what that was because apparently whatever magical fantasy town or parish or state he lived in, they didn't have slavery. 

Aaron: [00:19:09] Wasn't it isn't as Alex Haley roots. Okay. Let's I thought, 

Tamu: [00:19:13] There's a lot of naivete, I think in terms of Oh, you don't mess as a good boss. He's a nice boss. He's a fair ball. She said, this, this and that until you do something, quote, unquote wrong. And then he takes your child and sells her into a different slavery or, you know, threatens whatever.

 What I've see in it is that you're never. You're never safe. That fear of somebody being able to take something away from you is just pervasive and omnipresent. And it's really very,  distressing, you know, like that's okay. What stress that is to go through every day. I mean, it carries itself over into our time periods, where we have people who hold that over our heads too.

Like, we will lose our [00:20:00] job if we do something different.  I'm generalizing, but for the most part, we typically have to toe a different line and have to really, really worry because at any moment in time, They can take it away from us. Um, same thing. If, if she, if you go out and have fun with your friends, you know what I mean?

Treyvon Martin went to buy fucking Skittles. Can't even go buy Skittles, you know? So it's always that fear that you might not make it back. Something can happen to you. You can have something taken away from you just because of what you look like. That's pretty fucked up. 

Aaron: [00:20:34] Right. And I think a lot of people don't get that,  the core issue is that, if you were a white person or a person that looks white, whatever. You don't have that worry. You have other worries I could get in a car accident or I could, , I don't know drowned, but  it's a real, real reality that I could get pulled over and I could get shot or I could get framed [00:21:00] for a crime or I could look up like somebody that murdered somebody in Kentucky, you know, these are like, there's like layers upon layers upon layers upon layers to this for black men, especially right. 

Tamu: [00:21:14] And for black women look at the crack documentary that you told me about on Netflix and how they, just basically demonized black women. For being cracked mamas and having crack babies and then people taking their babies away from them and all those sorts of things, you know what I mean?

So it's the same thing. You do something you think is innocent and you could potentially lose your kids. Not that crack is innocent, but I don't mean that, but say you. Punish your child or you yell at them or something like that.  Somebody might see that and have a little bit of power place somewhere and be able to ruin your life as a result.

Aaron: [00:21:46] I've been really fortunate with my kids, all, my kids are black I've been told, I need to recap because some of you are not listening to the earlier episodes. Anyhow. But we do love you. I remember when we got our twins, we lived in the DC area and [00:22:00] people would look at us because especially rich, because he was a white man with these two black babies.

 I think he was a little sensitive to it. But I was really aware of it when I was with him.  People were staring at us. And I thought, how weird was that for him? To be there. And, in that moment, almost feeling what it feels like on the other hand.

What I was also gonna say earlier, I just got my thought back about the fact that, I understand now my grandfather. I never asked him anything about anything. It was unspoken just that pain and that history, but I think a lot of families during that time period, their entire whatever was wrong or whatever was right or whatever was whatever it was never talked about.

 It was just pushed under a rug. And it's just. An engrained pain that it is carried through to every single generation. I have no idea what it's like to be a slave, but,  I can remember looking at my grandfather. I can remember looking at my uncle and [00:23:00] there is pain and there is sadness there.

These are two guys that were veterans that fought for our country and came back to a place that did not accept them as human beings,  all of that, I think runs through especially now. I think all of that runs through every single person, because what we feel, how we react to things,

 I wrote this thing. It's a poem.  I'll read it or post it or something, but it just said that , I love differently. My love is hard. I wasn't taught how to love. I had to teach myself how to love, you know, and all of these statements are wrapped up into a black child's experience, period. Sorry. That was a lot.

That would, that would be my perspective.

Tamu: [00:23:40] Sometimes things pop up as you go through other components of life and they kind of intersect. So as I was watching Roots, we had to do this and I told you about the stupid reality based leadership thing . They were talking about this concept of learned helplessness, which to me, basically, you're victimizing yourself or making yourself into a victim of some [00:24:00] kind.

 And you have a choice not to do that. For me, I thought, well, that's bullshit. You don't know anything about anybody's life and what they've experienced and quite frankly, slavery and the system of slavery is the epitome of. A learned helplessness system and how that legacy can perpetuate itself throughout generations.

If you watch Roots, you see how that happens. You see how a person  who was free four minutes ago gets ripped away from his country, taken to a new place, beat the fuck up, told that they're now called this name. And then they have to learn how to live in a really ridiculously, painful, horrible system of life and be okay with that.

Aaron: [00:24:40] Yup. 

Tamu: [00:24:40] And have everything taken away from you  and be scared at any given moment. If you're super happy, someone's really going to take it away from you. Or if you catch a break, someone's going to do something to make that break go away, which also happens in the show. It's just. So precarious. So the fact that this whole concept, I was just like, [00:25:00] this is a very elitist thing to say. It's something that comes really formally out of privilege. and it's very careless. I basically was like, well, fuck you, I'm out. I'm going to just keep watching Roots. 

Aaron: [00:25:10] We've talked about my experiences with the, I'll just turn them as DEI reaction to all of this. I don't even know what the right answer is. I'm sitting here thinking well, what do you want them to wait, like a year and come out with this strategy.

 I think there's an immediate thing you could do.  You could then immediately have a strategic plan,  but these, I don't know, they're almost forced kumbaya was, and they're rooted in being reactive to frankly being liable in any way. 

 And they're hiding it I've said this a million times, they're hiding it in diversity and inclusion is not, it is systemic racism. It is classism. It is sexism. It is all the isms and they all should be addressed, but not the way we're doing it now, it is not genuine.

I would even simply say to. Well, I was going to say people aren't ready, [00:26:00] but you know what? You'll never be ready. Do it fucking right the first time, you know what I'm saying?

Tamu: [00:26:05] Even if you don't do it right. Try authentically. 

Aaron: [00:26:08] Right, right, right, right. 

Tamu: [00:26:11] It comes off fake if you just are like, yeah, we're going to now talk about Martin Luther King and what we did this weekend, I took a nap, leave me alone.

Aaron: [00:26:20] It's so great to see the awareness.  But I want to see the real awareness. It's more than just, MLK day it's every single day. It's how you teach your children about racism and how you treat people. Period in the grocery store or that provide a service to you or whatever the case may be.

There are many, many levels to this.  It's certainly not going to be solved overnight, but I just think the rush to do something feels so disingenuous right now. Take a step back and really fucking think about what you're doing because you're just. I don't know. And sitting on that call you could tell [00:27:00] people weren't ready for it.

And I just happened to be the only spot in this all white room, which is not a problem for me, obviously, because it just isn't.  Just like really odd questions and  it runs the gamut, I think with these DEI things between. Odd sort of questionnaires or surveys or discussions or topics,  or just blatant singling out of black people in a public forum, like who the fuck wants to be on a call like that and be like, I'm black.

 If you're trying to make people feel comfortable, Who are you really trying to make feel comfortable? 

Tamu: [00:27:34] That's not how you do it. 

Aaron: [00:27:35] Right. 

Tamu: [00:27:35] The other thing in Roots, is that, white people can assimilate into things.  One of the earlier overseers was an indentured servant. At one point in time, he did his bid and now he is an overseer, right. Because he can blend in and he can change because he's white. Basically they're like, Once a nigga, always a nigga, you ain't going to change who you are. You going to change what you look like? You can't [00:28:00] change your skin tone. You can't change those things like you can't ever blend. That was a very big lesson and a key thing that kept flashing up, like you would hear that constantly being said by white people in Roots.

Aaron: [00:28:14] Hmm.

No words are true. Spoken. 

Tamu: [00:28:15] Pramila Jayapal said that shit right after the Capitol insurrection, she was like, Oh my colleague, can sit up here. And try to assimilate. I can't. Cause I'm Brown. I'm not safe.

Aaron: [00:28:26] I work from home. I've always worked from home, I'm a virtual person and I have a white name, if I didn't have  social media presence and blah, blah, blah,  and I wasn't Google-able you probably wouldn't know that I was black.

It's really an interesting dynamic to walk  into a new environment where you know, that your work environments not diverse, but  you are this spot. the weirdest thing about starting this new job is just there were no black people, I was like instantly, like  where are the black people?

 There's not a, corridor where everybody sort of congregate. Long [00:29:00] story short. There is a group that,  found me and, just very refreshing to have these conversations. For me, there really wasn't that structure in my previous employer,   I'm so curious to understand, how they are doing and how was their experience when all this went down and what was the company's response to all of this, right?

Because it's so important for me at this point.  You cannot bullshit this at all. You need to do this right.  I don't want to work for a place. That doesn't. What what's that look for, 

Tamu: [00:29:32] but they're not doing it right. You already told me they're not. 

Aaron: [00:29:35] Yes, no, no, no, no. I know that they're well, no, one's doing it right.

Tamu: [00:29:39] They are not doing it, right. 

Aaron: [00:29:41] Yes. 

Tamu: [00:29:41] Some people don't do it. Right. But it's not so blatant. 

Aaron: [00:29:45] Right, right. 

Blatant or intentional, both

Tamu: [00:29:48] either way it ain't right.

Aaron: [00:29:49] I agree. I definitely agree. I am still new and these are people that know the tea, the tea, the tea, the tea, and, there's great experience and great [00:30:00] opportunities.

Wow. This is kind of great. This is a fun little black history  menage 

 Tamu: [00:30:04] I'm excited to finish roots.  I was thinking, well, look at how far we've come in terms of, from roots to Wakanda, right?

From this horrible place of, even though Wakanda is not real. And I would love it to be, but that we could imagine a future where  black, people are powerful and diverse in their diversity and, Saving the world. Even though we've done that, we continue to do that. and also in a safe place where people can fuck with you.

Aaron: [00:30:32] Right. 

Tamu: [00:30:32] So that would be nice. 

Aaron: [00:30:33] Zendaya and some other guys, they have a movie coming out and I just thought, 

Tamu: [00:30:38] that's Denzel Washington son.

Aaron: [00:30:39] What's the name of it? 

Tamu: [00:30:40] Malcolm and Marie,

Aaron: [00:30:41] that's it. That's it. Yes.  I thought Oh my God, thank you for releasing these normal love stories. Not these fucked up daddy was on crack. And mom had six different baby daddies,  black people fucking love just like the rest of us, you know?

And so it's nice to see these, things come out.  I love interracial, [00:31:00] shows and, movies too, because,  that's our America too. That's our reality. More based than a blonde haired blue eyed. Or whatever, , I appreciate what's coming out.

It's nice. 

Tamu: [00:31:11] I was caught up on some lifetime movie today about a white man stalking a black lady 

Aaron: [00:31:18] What? Lifetime. They be getting you. 

Tamu: [00:31:20] It's almost like single white female ish, kind of a movie. 

Aaron: [00:31:24] That's my type. 

love lifetime. Fuck. I love lifetime. 

Tamu: [00:31:27] Yeah, I didn't catch it from the beginning.

It pissed me off because she did stupid white shit in the movie. Like, come on girl, don't call the police, then put the phone down and then not take the phone with you. Also. Don't not find anything in this place that you could not use for protection.

There was all kinds of shit that she could use to protect yourself, a ladder, a fucking knife, a chair, all kinds of things. 

Aaron: [00:31:52] Maybe they wrote the part for a white woman. And they're like, well, girl, I know black people run and don't run into this shit, but you're going to have to do it.

I [00:32:00] love lifetime. What's your favorite Lifetime movie? 

Tamu: [00:32:02] I don't have a Lifetime favorite. 

Aaron: [00:32:04] Okay. I have one.  I think it may have been on NBC first, but like Lifetime it's called the Tracy. Turnblad no, that's fucking Hairspray. True

Tracy Thurman, maybe. Anyway, this girl. Yes, Tracy Thurman. She was played by Nancy McKeon from Facts of Life. I was obsessed with Nancy McKeon. I thought, I really thought she was a lesbian actually, she was  this hot butch woman. And I was like, Oh, that's my kind of woman. I now know why I like her Manliness.

 She plays this woman married to this guy. He literally beats the shit out of her. The beginning is him stomping his boot into her face and they sorta tell the backstory. I, every time I see it on, I have to watch it like drawn in, but it doesn't matter.

I love lifetime. 

Tamu: [00:32:56] I watched Wendy Williams  her biopic and then the [00:33:00] documentary, although I fell asleep at the end of her documentary, but I did watch the movie. It's actually good. 

Aaron: [00:33:04] Really? Really?

Tamu: [00:33:05] Yeah. I'm not kidding you. The girl who played Wendy actually did a good job, of portraying Wendy. And there is a lot in there that I, didn't necessarily know about her. I knew about her drug problem, but she was, raped. 

Aaron: [00:33:18] I didn't even know that. 

Tamu: [00:33:21] She had a gang of miscarriages. , Kevin was cheating on her forever.

 I didn't know that she dated Eric B. oF Eric B and Rakim 

Aaron: [00:33:29] really

Tamu: [00:33:30] He ruined her credit and of shit. And,  apparently she had a one night stand with a method, man. 

And then of course, like method, man, his wife  put like the huge ass post on Instagram about Wendy talking about this shit now, after all this crap and you know how she's still thirsty, yada yada, yada.

Aaron: [00:33:48] Oh my God. it is what it is. Folks like really does it matter? It doesn't,

Tamu: [00:33:52] we're not the ones that are in spotlight. 

Aaron: [00:33:54] That's right. That's true. I mean, we are an international podcast. Yes. Let's 

Tamu: [00:33:59] we're [00:34:00] international podcast. Yes, we are.

Aaron: [00:34:01] Hi, london. Ping pong. Ping pong. I love ping pong.  

Tamu: [00:34:07] Well, should we wrap up our black history conversation? We'll continue these for the next two weeks. Since black history month is the shortest month 

Aaron: [00:34:15] Any last thoughts? 

Tamu: [00:34:16] Don't trust white people. Yeah. Till they show you who they are. 

Aaron: [00:34:22] Okay. Thank you for adding that one part, because I just thought.

For this one quick moment, like, fuck, I married a white guy. 

Tamu: [00:34:29] I live with the white people. I moved here for a white person. It's true. Most of my friends are white. 

Aaron: [00:34:35] I know the last time we talked about just interracial relationships, but  it's really complex, right.

To have These conversations. I know my husband he's probably was probably woke before I was  he gets it, which I love that about him. And I shouldn't care, but I often wonder  are my white friends  like, Oh my God, I am walking on eggshells. Or even my husband, does he have these moments of like, Well, my husband's [00:35:00] really black now the point being just that, I almost feel like in a way we're all having to relearn. How to interact with each other.

The saddest part to me is that I will never hear another black joke. I'm sure unless it's you and me or a racist, but, those things are gonna change. Right. We're all reprogramming and relearning. I mean, reprogramming god, I hope kindness, but that's a long way away, but  reprogramming whether that's good or bad, you know, truly, honestly, that would be my final thought.

Tamu: [00:35:35] Okay. Let's take a moment and we'll be back with our throwback. 

Aaron: [00:35:40] Mm mm. 

  Tamu: [00:35:53] We're back. So today's throwback back actually  is a new one for Aaron. He has never heard this song before today. [00:36:00] it's a song that  I grew up hearing. remember my dad always singing the song cause he got a kick out of this song about the down low. He made up his own words, so I'll leave it there. It wasn't terrible, as a matter of fact, I asked him last week I remember you singing this song. Am I wrong? He was like, Nope. And then he started singing.

Aaron: [00:36:21] Do your parents listen to the show?

Tamu: [00:36:24] No


They barely know how to use they phones. 

Aaron: [00:36:33] Oh my God. 

Tamu: [00:36:34] The song is Another Man or Another Man is Beating My Time by a Barbara Mason.  It came out in 1984 

Aaron: [00:36:42] so it was written by a man. 

Tamu: [00:36:44] Was it 

Aaron: [00:36:45] Norman Henry Ingram? 

Tamu: [00:36:48] Oh my goodness. 

Aaron: [00:36:49] So Norman Henry Ingram Jr. To be specific. Is I'm going to write this down homophobic. That's all I have to say. [00:37:00] So Barbara Mason gets a pass cause maybe it's a real life story for her, right? I think. And I'm just going to go ahead and make this prediction too. Like these people that are like this, you remember that guy in Congress that.

I don't know, hooked up was a pastor. No, he wasn't in Congress. He was a pastor in like Colorado or something. And his gay lover came out. Do you remember this whole thing? Tale as old as time. Right? Right. So yes. So my prediction is that Norman Henry Ingram Jr.

Came out. I don't know. We'll give you like 2004, maybe. 

Tamu: [00:37:37] Do we suppose that he's a black man and he was a black man on the down low? 

Aaron: [00:37:41] I do. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably going to find me now, pull up, 

Tamu: [00:37:46] So I listened to the other song from Barbara Mason that she's famous for it.

And you actually probably do know it. That? Yes. I'm ready song. Yes. I'm ready. Oh 

yeah. Yeah. 

That's her. 

Aaron: [00:37:59] I did not [00:38:00] know that. I love that song. Who's the guy singing with her. 

Tamu: [00:38:05] I don't know. 

Barbara is known at least in her later music for doing  beginning intro raps almost, or like talking over the soundtrack, and then kind of singing.

she starts it off saying, do you remember when I said she's got the papers and I've got the man, but the man that she had that I took from her is not the man child that we thought he was at all. And then it goes, 

Aaron: [00:38:28] that was a soft part. 

Tamu: [00:38:30] Caught in the middle. I don't know what to do. What can you do when your man is untrue?

There's another man in my life. He looked very normal until I opened my eyes. The man I loved and married loves another guy. There's another man in my life. 

Aaron: [00:38:48] Escandalo escandala

Tamu: [00:38:51] so that part is the good tame part. 

Aaron: [00:38:55] Right. 

Tamu: [00:38:55] Barbara goes off into her speaking parts again, further down the [00:39:00] line,  there was,  a little bit too much sugar and you were a little too sweet, 

Aaron: [00:39:04] right, right.

When she said that I wrote down stereotypical. 

Tamu: [00:39:08] The song continues  I think I want to stay, but I don't know if I can loving, like I do and sharing with them, man. There's another man in my life. I think I want to leave, but I can't swallow my pride. My midnight lover loves another guy.

There's another man in my life.

Then she goes into the not so awesome parts where  she's talking to her girlfriend and she's like, you know what? I started to notice a definite strangeness. There was no sameness. He was changing. I had gone out one day and bought me a very, very sexy dress and opened up my closet and it had disappeared, Lord I hope the man is not wearing my Oh child!. Okay.

Uh, then she's talking about him switching down the street, holding this man's hands and it got a little, 

It gets a little bit , it goes from  very innocent. Almost like, I can't believe this is happening to me. Like, you know, then you start having [00:40:00] cocktails, right.

It just keeps regressing and regressing and regressing. 

Aaron: [00:40:05] Oh right. You go into , that one cool girl at work. And I'm like, Oh, let's go out for drinks. And then they find out that she's tried to kill herself three times she hates black people, but you're cool.

I will say this, when you sent the song to me, I listened to it, but I was just like, well, okay, whatever,  I'm a lyrics person, but I'll be honest that the groove didn't grab me. The first time, but I love it because it feels very New York, like eighties, New York.

Like if I lived there,  I could totally be like, I, another man, I stole that bitches, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I played it in the car.  Jerome was in the car actually.

And I was like, I got to listen to the song again. And he was like,  he was in la-la-land.  I started listening to this song and at first it was surprising. Then I thought, well, this is a progressive song. It feels like [00:41:00] progressive. And you hear the stereotypical things about him, swishing and sweetness.

And I thought this is fucking homophobic. And then just completely stereotypical, like completely what gets me the most about this song? Or what I think about the most is,  the fact that everybody's looking for equity everybody's looking for equality,  in particular, in the black community, if you're looking for equity, love and equality, you want to be judged, , the same way all black lives matter.

All black lives matter. And I get that the song was  a lighthearted, I'll say a lighthearted song, right. Of the time perhaps, but  this is homophobic. This has consequences, right? 

Tamu: [00:41:42] At the end. She's just like  there must have been, I figured a defect of not.

When he was created, but somewhere down the line, something went wrong. Yes, it's 1984. The down-low was a real thing and is probably still a real thing, unfortunately, especially in the black [00:42:00] community, but there's nothing, like at this point, everybody was probably like, yeah. girl you know, I know what you mean, but when you look at it in a different lens in a 2021 context, No, nothing was wrong with him. He's just a gay man. Right. That's okay. 

Aaron: [00:42:17] You love what you love. He loved who, he loved. 

Tamu: [00:42:19] Yeah. He might've actually really adored you maybe he's BI. 

Aaron: [00:42:23] This would have been the third time that I've heard this song. Literally sitting here looking at the words. I was like, what the whole fuck is this? 

Tamu: [00:42:32] I never really knew what the rest of the fuck she was saying down the end till just now like the whole defect thing.

Aaron: [00:42:39] She sings, yes, I'm ready. I'm off. I've already canceled it in my mind. Isn't that bad. I love that song.

Tamu: [00:42:45] She didn't write the song. She's sang it.

Aaron: [00:42:47] It's true. Fuck you, Norman. I don't know who you are, but not okay. I'm sorry. Y'all all black lives matter period. It does not matter what religion, creed, or color you are. All black lives matter. 

Tamu: [00:42:58] Clearly this song [00:43:00] is not timeless.

It's not a timeless joint, 

Aaron: [00:43:05] not the top 200 of all times, right? In some circles, perhaps, 

Tamu: [00:43:09] I wonder if you could remake it for the now time 

Aaron: [00:43:12] you presented me with a challenge, I'm going to do a rewrite. I would make it vulgar, like Meg, the stallion vulgar like a, another man and another boy, another dude.

And my,

I should not live songwriter. That is probably not the  but yeah. Okay. I'm going to get that shit popping Norman. And I'm not even going to ask for permission, 

Tamu: [00:43:42] you are really angry. 

Aaron: [00:43:43] I have had people in my life tell me that I was going to go to hell. Is that my mother would be rolling over in her grave. Then it was going to die of AIDS that I wasn't worthy of any kind of love. And I was going to have a horrible life. [00:44:00] So yeah, this hella hits home how, and had Tom super hard and I pray to God children, my children, if should any one of them be gay or whatever the fuck they want to be.

I really pray. They don't have to go up against. The shit we have to go,  what's really fucked up, especially in the black community, is that, you know, of all of what we just talked about, like the struggle of all of the struggle we still hanging on to this shit, right? Like everything that we're struggling with, the fact that I'm in love with the man and I've married a man and created a great life for myself is insignificant because your God or your beliefs.

Which were taught to you by your slave master tell you that it's wrong, 

Tamu: [00:44:46] or the fact that you might be born in a different body than you feel, , look at all the trans women who are getting murdered still to this very day by black men. 

Aaron: [00:44:56] Yeah.  I just feel if everybody's going to come up. Bring [00:45:00] everybody up doesn't fucking matter. Otherwise, you were as hypocritical as those fuckers, that storm the Capitol. Well, not that here. Close to that. 

Tamu: [00:45:06] I hear you. I get what you mean,  I get what you mean. I feel you?

Aaron: [00:45:09] I don't have time for the bullshit. So yes, that song for me hit a nerve, but no, I'm glad you brought it up because

Tamu: [00:45:16] I thought wow, this song is so very, in the beginning, very progressive sounding. But then as we continue forward down into it, it's like, no, 

Aaron: [00:45:24] When I heard it in the car.

I just thought, Oh my God, why do we always choose these bops that, are really horrible. And like, this isn't a bop, but it was a bop for someone. Right. And it's horrible. It's absolutely horrible. Sorry. I'm I'm not sorry. 

What would give me such sweet success and maybe somebody will hear this and like, Oh bitch. Yes. I was at a studio, whatever. And I heard this song. it would just be delicious, mostly sweet to me if like the gays were like all over the song, because, I think that gave it a lot of them power, like, fuck you [00:46:00] bitch. Or a fucking Norman. 

Tamu: [00:46:02] Yeah. It's kind of like the whole Chick-fil-A thing.

Aaron: [00:46:05] Oh, Chick-fil-A I have sinned. It's been a while, but I have since. 

Tamu: [00:46:09] I mean, we've all been there. Unfortunately, you know, 

Aaron: [00:46:12] Speaking of cancel culture,  initially we stopped going to home Depot and we stopped going to taco bell and KFC with KFC and gross.

Then I thought  I'm making the people that work there suffer for something, some idiot fuck did. So We call it a pass, like this is our one year pass to go to taco bell, or this is a one-year pass to go to Chick-fil-A or whatever. And six filet, , thankfully there not a lot around here, but  they are ragingly homophobic and deserve nobody's money nobody's but black family go right on hold them lines together, go to Chick-fil-A and, um,

 I'm sorry, the closest Chick-fil-A is in Bangor, Maine. And we did go there actually like around George Floyd time.  It is my [00:47:00] philosophy. Every time I've gone to Chick-fil-A, everybody is so nice to me. , 

Tamu: [00:47:03] they're a very Christian-based company 

Aaron: [00:47:05] I know, and I have to believe that those are good people. And I was supporting them to make like $6 an hour for this bullshit. But once a year 

Tamu: [00:47:14] I haven't been to Chick-fil-A in a long time.  

Aaron: [00:47:16] Isn't there on in the Mall of America too. 

Tamu: [00:47:19] Maybe. I don't know. 

Aaron: [00:47:20] Although I saw Mariah Carey there. 

Tamu: [00:47:21] Okay. 

Aaron: [00:47:24] Do you want to hear this story or not? Because I didn't like the look. 

Tamu: [00:47:27] We can't ever not talk about her. I don't talk about my faves.

Aaron: [00:47:30] We're just going to air out  our issues right now. Okay. So is it because of my five octave range? Is that really the issue? 

Tamu: [00:47:38] It's not, that's not the issue at all. 

Aaron: [00:47:39] What is the issue we got to do? 

Tamu: [00:47:41] It'd be nice if maybe we could get through an podcast without Mariah, 

Aaron: [00:47:46] you know what. We went

Tamu: [00:47:48] There's more to life than Mariah 

Aaron: [00:47:50] We went through this whole motherfucking show. I didn't say not nary word, Mariah Carey until just now, when I talked about meeting other black people at my work, I met a girl [00:48:00] who said to me, I heard you like Mariah Carey. I didn't mention that. 


Tamu: [00:48:04] How did they find out you like Mariah carey?

Aaron: [00:48:06] Put it in my little bio.

Listen. I just felt like I'm a LA B K, right from jump. Let a bitch know

like, you were so fabulous. I love you. I didn't tell you those stories. No, I didn't tell him. Well, America that's I guess I just kind of did didn't I, but you brought it down to me. So like you just made the Mariah spew out of me, like a river, my cup runneth, over with butterflies there.

Wish you could see your guys she's like going into the fetal position.

So on that note, I will say Mariah

Tamu: [00:48:58] that's for you, [00:49:00] Alison. 

Aaron: [00:49:00] Oh, Alison, fuck. I forgot again. I'm sorry. I love you. Hold on. My listeners have headphones. I probably like this bitch, this bitch shatters ceilings, right. Tamu. Right.

Tamu: [00:49:22] Well, It was,  wonderful to explore the song with you. 

Aaron: [00:49:26] This was great. I mean, you know, 

Tamu: [00:49:28] I know. I mean, wow, wow. Wow. Wow.  I learned something else today about this. You learned a whole new thing. Yeah. 

Aaron: [00:49:34] Holy shit.  I heard the song three times and it wasn't until I actually read the words that I was mortified.

Tamu: [00:49:41] Yeah. Lyrics are a bitch. 

Aaron: [00:49:43] Holy shit. 

Tamu: [00:49:45] Well, we learned again. All right, let's wrap up. Do you want to do housekeeping? 

Aaron: [00:49:51] Sure. I can do housekeeping. I first want to say folks, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for rocking with us. We're having a lot of [00:50:00] fun making this show. It's been great therapy to do this with one of my best friends, even miles away, it feels like we're sitting right next to each other. Anyway. Follow us. On Instagram @whenthebillcomesdue, we also are on Tik Tok @whenthebillcomesdue email us your comments or thoughts. [email protected], like our podcast, make a comment, subscribe. We want to hear from you and also share it with your friends. Who's going to hear our shit. Anyway. Thanks for listening. Tam's wrap it up. 

Tamu: [00:50:36] Wash your hands of double mask. Now multiple variants out in these streets. 

Do you wear double masks? 

I double mask. Now 

Keep your ass at home. If you can. Six feet apart or more at these points in time. take care of yourselves, be kind to yourself, watch a couple documentaries on PBS.  Make a pan of ziti. Aaron, you should have talked about your  little [00:51:00] ziti Instagram.

Aaron: [00:51:00] I Forgot about ziti. Follow me on what the hell is it @randomactsofziti. That's it? Yeah.

Tamu: [00:51:09] Take pictures of your food that you share. Well, I guess it's supposed to be ziti, not other foods, but other foods. Oh. Foods. Aaron makes, uh, pans of ziti and gives them to other families in need.

And you can do the same and share what you've made on his Instagram Random Acts of Woo. 

Aaron: [00:51:28] Thanks for that shameless plug. I appreciate that.

Tamu: [00:51:30] You're welcome. Stay safe. Stay sane. 

Aaron: [00:51:33] Hey guys. Thanks for listening. Bye. He.

Tamu: [00:51:36] Bye.