When the Bill Comes Due

Ep 12: Bitch, We Can't Save!

March 01, 2021 Aaron & Tamu Season 1 Episode 12
When the Bill Comes Due
Ep 12: Bitch, We Can't Save!
Chapters
When the Bill Comes Due
Ep 12: Bitch, We Can't Save!
Mar 01, 2021 Season 1 Episode 12
Aaron & Tamu

Can you pay our bills? Can you pay your telephone bill? Come chill.  Aaron and Tamu chat about the financial challenges of growing up black.  Aaron spends most of his throwback time gushing over Wendy Moten’s Come On In Out Of The Rain  and convincing Tamu this needs to be her jam! It ain’t raining men, but a bitch can dream! Come thru, fam!

Show Notes Transcript

Can you pay our bills? Can you pay your telephone bill? Come chill.  Aaron and Tamu chat about the financial challenges of growing up black.  Aaron spends most of his throwback time gushing over Wendy Moten’s Come On In Out Of The Rain  and convincing Tamu this needs to be her jam! It ain’t raining men, but a bitch can dream! Come thru, fam!

WTBCD_EP12_Bitch_We_Can't_Save

Tamu: [00:00:00] [00:00:00]Welcome to when the bill comes due. 

I'm, Tamu.

Aaron: [00:00:45] I'm Aaron. Welcome. Y'all

Tamu: [00:00:47] Yes. Hello. We have made it to the last weekend of black history month.

Aaron: [00:00:52] I never really noticed how short black history month was. Okay. You know, I mean, I knew February was short, right. But you're just kinda [00:01:00] like, Oh shit. Like, bam, it's gone. ABC was advertising  some special, which they're doing a whole Negro walk now with everything now. Oh my God. I just got it. Did I send it to you?

New host of the bachelor. Oh my God.Turn on the chocolate faucet, they have turned on the chocolate faucet.

Tamu: [00:01:20] well, I mean, they have to, but just reading this guy's bio it sounds like he kind of is Matt James A. Little bit in terms of, he grew up in a white town and now he talks to. Black men about issues.

Aaron: [00:01:36] Oh, is this that guy?

Tamu: [00:01:37] He's a football player.

Aaron: [00:01:38] Yes, he does the, uncomfortable conversations on YouTube. I didn't realize that was this, that he looks so different to me when I looked at it.

Tamu: [00:01:45] See, now it's better.

Aaron: [00:01:46] Oh, he's a good guy.

Tamu: [00:01:48] So that makes sense for him to be doing this. I think.

Aaron: [00:01:52] Oh, good for him. That'll be good. 

Can I just clarify something too? Last week I spoke about my [00:02:00] ziti initiative and one of the statements I made was that it's not lost on me, that I'm serving white people. I want to clarify that was not very clearly stated. what is probably better stated is that it's not lost on me, that the people I'm serving number one just happened to be white, but also they just happen to be people that can afford to make their own meals.

And my ultimate goal is to have an outreach system too. Anyone who needs a meal? obviously I want to outreach to people of color and support people of color within my own community. But, meals are open to everyone and I was listening back to it and I was just like, Oh my God, I want to clarify that.

I have a diverse family. I have a diversity of friends And to me,  it does not matter if you need a meal and if I love you and support you, I will feed you. I just wanted to make that clarification.

Tamu: [00:02:56] Sounds good.

Aaron: [00:02:57] What are we getting into today? Tams?

Tamu: [00:02:59] I wanted [00:03:00] to, give this final, great moment in. Black America, but it's not about black America. It's really about white America. It is the, video that I sent you this evening on Twitter, about the Delaware kindergarten school, where they were trying to explain slavery and also combine it with yoga.

Aaron: [00:03:20] Yes, I did see that.

Tamu: [00:03:21] So I'm going to play it. Because I feel like everybody who listens to us all 25 of you will be interested to know about this insanity because insanity

people came to America on boats to become slaves. So here's the great big country comes. A cross the Atlantic ocean. To come over to America, the USA, here's where we live in Delaware. So right now I need you to get into your boat pose. If you're at home, you can sit on the floor and if you were [00:04:00] at school, you could just use your chair.

Mrs. Fox is going to do. I'm going to simply turn my body a little bit on my chair. I'm going to bring my knee out the best I can holding it straight out, putting my arms forward. So Africans came by boat to Breathe in

we were stolen and turned back in your seat. Let's turn the page. Olivia went on to explain that

Africans were treated very poorly, even though they farmed the land. And plowed the fields to make America beautiful. that's a picture of the plow that he is using, worked in the fields. Now, if you're at home, you can try the [00:05:00] plow pose because you need to be lying on your back. The commentary by the person recording. It is hilarious.

Aaron: [00:05:11] thought that was you until I realized you weren't. Oh, my, you know, I looked at the video, I didn't get any audio. And I was like, Oh my God, it just looking at it. You were like,

Tamu: [00:05:25] because it has the, the, the golden triangle or whatever, you know, the transatlantic passage. And then next to it is a white woman doing the yoga pose, the boat pose Yup, yup. Yup. So that school district is checking into that.

Aaron: [00:05:40] America. She just made it real nice and pretty to like,slavery was Beautiful.

Tamu: [00:05:46] well, black people came here to be slaves that's right.

Aaron: [00:05:50] We were stolen.

Tamu: [00:05:51] And even though we were treated poorly we beautified America, but with these plows, and now if you choose to let's do the plow pose [00:06:00] because.

Aaron: [00:06:00] I can't believe that you went, I mean, it is baffling to me, this is the, the era of bitch imma record you. I'm just shocked that people do this.

Tamu: [00:06:14] first of all, that is  a bit of it.  It's 35 minutes long. This video. So there's more to it because I think at a certain point they started talking about great black Americans, throughout history or something. How do you do those yoga poses? Warrior pose? I mean, I don't know.

Aaron: [00:06:31] I would love to know what black parent was on that zoom or heard that in the background.

Tamu: [00:06:38] the one that was recording it, we would, we were stolen.

Aaron: [00:06:44] She was a mom of a student. She was actually recording that. Oh my goodness. Yikes. That's insane. A great moment in black history,

Tamu: [00:06:53] not for us. Another  stellar moment in white American teaching practices.

Aaron: [00:06:59] Pretty [00:07:00] much.

Tamu: [00:07:00] Delaware people get it together and, fix your curriculum 

Aaron: [00:07:04] Do you think that like the North is a worst offender or the South meaning like who just really fucks up the history? The best

Tamu: [00:07:14] I think they all do.

Aaron: [00:07:15] probably. Right.

Tamu: [00:07:17] I mean, I don't see a distinct difference, right. Because all of our history books are created from the same places.

Aaron: [00:07:23] That's true.

I'm curious to know, how,  I'll say inner cities, I really hate that phrase, but how inner cities select their educational criteria.

Right. I wonder, do they have options in this? Is this like the more legit or more. Black leaning book. I'm sure there's not one, but you know,

Tamu: [00:07:39] I don't think they have options. I think it's the same book or

Aaron: [00:07:43] gets the

Tamu: [00:07:43] they can afford to purchase.

 Aaron: [00:07:46] I would be curious to compare, this is what I learned in U S history.

What did you learn? But it's probably the

Tamu: [00:07:50] fucking shit, nothing.

People might teach their children differently because you're not going to get a valuable education, obviously in school. And look [00:08:00] at these poor kindergarten children learning about. Slavery and yoga Namaste.

Aaron: [00:08:05] Peaceful peaceful practice, peaceful practice.

What are we getting into today?Sis.

Tamu: [00:08:10] I've had some interesting and exciting experiences happened to me this week, and I figured, I'm gonna share it with the twenty-five people who listen to our podcast.

Aaron: [00:08:21] You know what, let me just say for a moment, we love our listeners and we have a lot of listeners. 

Tamu: [00:08:27] We're still international.

Aaron: [00:08:29] We are Russia. The UK is there. If you guys want to ever you know, hook us up with some financials to set up shop and do something regular on the regular.

I think we're up for that. Am I speaking out of turn Tamu

Tamu: [00:08:43] Basically, you're saying ping pong. If you're listening.

Aaron: [00:08:46] Be oursponsor. Ping pong, please.

Tamu: [00:08:56] this topic is literally when the bill comes due [00:09:00] because, I had been having some very, not a pleasant work experiences as I've shared with everybody through the course of this podcast and multiple episodes, uh, kind of came to a head this week with me being told I wasn't meeting expectations.

and. Me having a bit of a panic thinking that I'm going to get fired in the middle of the pandemic, not super fun, been here, done that. Don't like not having a job in a crisis, but also realizing that I'm 46 years old, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I don't live in my own home. I rent basically a room in my friend's house.

granted. They will all say, this is my house, as well as theirs. It's not like, I feel like I'm just stuck in one spot here, but I don't own that. I don't have a robust, savings. I don't have savings really.  I have a 401k from the current job that I'm in, but because I've had so many.

Portions of time where I've jumped from place to place to place. I don't [00:10:00] have a large nest egg for when I retire. I have some friends who have millions of dollars saved already for their retirement. I don't have that.  I barely have $70,000 saved. Right. And I just started to feel very helpless frustrated and angry because 

I'm 46. I should have something more substantial than this. If something happens to me, I'm screwed. Right? I don't have family to fall back on. My parents don't have savings. my parents live off of my mom's tiny salary. My dad hasn't worked for 17 years and he's just now getting his social security.

And so they can finally have some money cause he hasn't worked all this time and he is trying to get his 401k rolled over from when he was working. It might be $50,000. And I just think like you worked your whole life for $50,000, that is all you have to your name. And I [00:11:00] have what 70, that is fucking sad.

I started to think about how illiterate I am about financial things. and I do know that this is something that is endemic within. The black community. not many of us are financially literate. I mean, even within my own family, I would say my aunts and my grandmother are doing way better than my parents have.

but my example is my parents. So I didn't have a really great financial. Upbringing in terms of understanding that you should have savings and, pensions and all of those sorts of things and thinking about things in a more long-term fashion, or even just trying to make sure that you have some money saved up.

I've never really made a lot of money. So I don't feel great about myself in terms of that, I feel like  a loser, And it's sad. It's just a scary feeling to sit here at my age and think, okay, you know, I don't have a husband,  I don't have anything. it is literally just me in this world.

If something [00:12:00] happens to me, I'm pretty much screwed. Yes, I can probably sleep on a friend's couch or I'm sure I'm fine to stay here. We are a family where I live. But I don't want to rely on that. and the fact that I can't rub two fucking nickels together to do anything is really, huh.

It's just, it's been an eye opening week for me in terms of that. 

Aaron: [00:12:19] First of all, you're not a loser and I think we're all. I'm not generalizing to say like everybody, but  we're all in the same boat, especially our generation, a little bit,  and I agree with you, a lot of things, the fact that,  I feel like for black kids, growing up in the nineties or, our era, Who was more like, get the fuck out the door, you know?

And when you're out there,  you're sort of on your own,  surviving. I remember as a teenager, I just want to fucking move out and live.  I knew that would be hard. but I just wanted to be on my own. Right. I knew since my mom died at 13, that I was on my own, you know?

And so I can say that I was never taught how to save [00:13:00] and a lot of everything I've taught myself, I've spoken to you too about the fact that, I was, I think I was taught tough love, and not. Real love, you know, so, and there's a big difference.

And I think that's that too is wound up and the experience that black children have with their parents right  they're more preparing them to live and not be shot versus save your coins. You know, I think it's, I do think it's different now. I think we have an awareness about how to save but for so many, I feel like the system is stacked 

against them, in general. Very sad thoughts for me to hear that, but,  I completely echo every single thing you say I would say for myself, like, we're definitely not where we need to I remember when rich and I were thinking about having kids and, he's the money cruncher or number cruncher

I was just like, you know what, we're never, ever going to be able to afford to have a kid. And we were just thinking about one then, so now we have six. And two dogs we made our doggy announcement tonight. Did you know that? 

I think it's tough all [00:14:00] around and the other part of that too, is just that, the middle-class structure itself.

We have really taken on the brunt of a lot of hits over the years, too, and it hasn't benefited us at all.  I look at my own paycheck and I think. Where the fuck does my money go ? you're like, Oh my God, it's. Whatever in taxes and, insurance and everything else.

Almost compounded for people of color,  I will say, knock on wood, thank God. We are, we are comfortable. Right. But I always say we're one paycheck away from.  Disaster, because  we do have bills.

We do have children, we have expenses, we have many things. And  I don't think that we're as prepared as we need to be, as a large family.  I think a lot of that plays into it, but definitely for black community we have a disproportionate amount of folks.

That just don't have a safety net at all. That's like a real problem in America. How do we even begin to fix that?  Here, listening to you, I'm thinking how do you even begin to address that?  What options do you [00:15:00] have?

And I think for a lot of people of color, they feel like they don't have options. We have not had access to, the financial benefits of the country, et cetera, historically. Right. And so we've never really been interested in, the stock market  and things of that nature, it just, it almost compounds. Every decade every year, you know?

Tamu: [00:15:19] I'm going to try to find a black financial planner and, start to look at options within that because why not? I mean, I might as well. Have someone whose mission it is to educate propel, make wealth happen, within the community of people of color.

Aaron: [00:15:38] this making the investment.

Tamu: [00:15:39] I still kind of want to cash out my 401k and quit my job and tell them to go fuck themselves and, live for a year. But literally that's all I wouldn't be able to do is live for a year after the taxes that they take out of my money, that I've been saving for my self to do whatever I want to do with it.

At 59 and a half.  I had to start to come up with contingency plans because if something [00:16:00] had jumped off and I was going to get, let go, I don't know how easy it would be to find a job in a pandemic. I have student loans to pay back. I have shit, bills to pay and, When this happened in 2008, I was able to work multiple jobs because we weren't in a pandemic.

 I could work at a retail store, which is what I did. And  did part-time contracting stuff with an employment agency. I was able to do that because you could do that, here now it doesn't work that way. I Panicked a lot more because , after the 2001 stuff happened, I lost my job in 2008.

I lost my job.  And that is sad  in 2001, 2008 it's 20 fucking 21. This is within 20 years that I've, had to have this happen multiple times and have had to figure out how to pick up my pieces. It just feels like, two steps forward, two steps back all the time.

Aaron: [00:16:54] I think that's a very common story, especially for black Americans, right? You're getting [00:17:00] laid off here or getting laid off there. Especially in American corporate culture. I used to work in healthcare insurance. It is the same, crises that happens there.

There's riffs layoffs and  around, the end of the year time is when they  look to make stockholders happy. It's a really scary. Thing that I think a lot of people go through and especially people of color we have been let go and had to find jobs.

 I've really unfortunate. I've always worked. I've never knock on wood,  been laid off or anything. I've just been really lucky. And I work in horrible industries. I worked in corporate retail, and insurance, and  I recognize, every single day, how fortunate I am to have been able to work.

And even today that given the choice to,  find another job, where people are taking the jobs they have to have versus the job. You really want to do, right. I recognize some of that struggle, what is frustrating for me, is whatever level we're on, [00:18:00] we are financially being squeezed.

 There is no safety net for a lot of us, a lot of black Americans, and we should, take more. Opportunity even if it's a small steps like finances and everything about it is overwhelming. I'll be very honest. I hate talking bills. My husband, I have to do a bunch of tax stuff with him tomorrow and I've been putting him off.

 I think some education or just, providing people get your piece of the pie. Like if you work for X, Y, Z company, go ahead and sign up for that stock or, shuffle some money away, but no one explains these things to you.

They just literally give you a link to a website and say, here you are, good luck. Now we need all this shit done. 

Tamu: [00:18:41] This time. I did do that. So surprise, surprise. I actually own stock.

Aaron: [00:18:45] You know, I always kick myself. what the hell stock was it? Amazon when, I lived in Minneapolis

Tamu: [00:18:51] Did you have enough money to buy

Aaron: [00:18:52] no, was it expensive back then? I don't think it was that expensive. Really?  No. Oh, maybe it was Apple. That was [00:19:00] one of them. But now Amazon's like what, $4,000 a share or some shit like that and  well, miss that boat, baby.

Tamu: [00:19:06] I would like to be a little bit more financially astute. that can be my 2021 goal. the other part of it is, credit card debt. Is a real beast on your back all the time. I want to say I've had credit card debt issues since I started college, because when you go to college, people are standing outside with like water bottles and t-shirts and Fanny packs or whatever at the time to get you to sign up for their credit cards. And at 17, 18,

Aaron: [00:19:35] With no money,

Tamu: [00:19:36] right?

You think, you spend 200 to $400 a, what the fuck am I going to get 200 to $400 to pay this stuff back? Right? Or me being stupid giving boyfriends at the time  ability to use my credit cards, to help them out in a tough spot.

Aaron: [00:19:51] Finances is just overwhelming and  I have kids so I think about,  Oh my God, we're not saving enough for the college and my [00:20:00] kids are going to have to pay for their own or get a scholarship because we're not rich. Most people are concerned about their finances.

In this current moment in this current climate where there's a lot of unknowns and we're being squeezed and we're just trying to make it work.

Tamu: [00:20:16] The other piece of it  is I have aging parents and if something happens to them, I can't take care of them. I don't have a place for them to live.  I have to think about what the fuck is going to happen to them as they continue to get older. Andmay not be able to go up and down the steps in the house that they currently live in.

 What if my aunt sells the house? She's, said that  a lot of times, and at some point she might just sell the house and be done. Where are they going to go? What are they going to do?  How are they going to be able to live and sustain themselves? And I know that they're adults and they should be able to manage and figure out how to take care of themselves.

But as their child, I feel inadequate sometimes because I can't afford to help them in certain ways. 

Aaron: [00:20:58] My family has been [00:21:00] ravaged by cancer ravaged by cancer,  and I'll be very honest.

I was. Probably in my thirties when I even knew what the hell life insurance was for and that I should probably get it, only because my husband had it. And,  he told me the story that,  his mom was sick or something and she made him get life insurance. And she told him, promise me, you'll never let it lapse.

And so  we today pay for life insurance, for those who are just joining us.  Is this episode 12. I'm married to a white man from Iowa. Some of my financial stuff I learned with rich, just like, you stepping into our own sort of like, you know, the way he sees, the way I saved or didn't save, um, at the time.

I've had many relatives buried as an adult and specifically my thirties and where my aunt and a couple of uncle dies, but my aunt specifically, she. Was kind of in your situation, she had nothing. She rented an apartment, she had a crappy car and, she died of [00:22:00] cancer, and we found out she had really nothing.

And maybe we knew that, or maybe I was just kidding myself, but we received a text message to, to help out, you know? And we did, but I think that's a reality for a lot of black people when someone dies. Like when you're seeing on the news, when, Trayvon Martin gets shot or George Floyd, they likely cannot afford to pay for that funeral

weren't expecting that.

Tamu: [00:22:25] Or all these people who were dying from COVID

Aaron: [00:22:27] Right, right.

Tamu: [00:22:28] it in some families are getting ravaged by COVID where so many people are dying in a family. They can't afford that funeral costs are so expensive.

Aaron: [00:22:36] Incredibly expensive. No one is prepared there in black communities are set up for failure.

 I say to my own kids,  we have our own money, we have money now. And sometimes we'll go to the store and I'll just be like, I'm not gonna buy you anything. Like I grew up like that, you know? And I were thinking sometimes  am I a stingey fucking dad to do that?

We've lived places that were affluent and we were [00:23:00] by no means affluent. And we knew early on that we'd have to compete with the fact that, my kids are going to go to school with people that drive Mercedes and their first car is a land Rover.

I'm kinda like, well, bitch, you going to be on the bus? I mean, obviously I would buy my kids a car, but there's a level of what do you call it? A Rite of passage or just  privilege. Honestly, it really is privileged  even as a black person with an income and can afford whatever.

I still in my mind think. Well, we can't afford this or we can't do there's so many layers to just everything.

I see things in layers now, and I really understand a lot of what is systemic,  we're talking about finances, and it is systemic. It is ingrained in our culture. I probably said that a million times on this show, But it's ingrained in our culture.  It is in every facet of every single thing we do that just has to be undone.

And part of it is the education of the [00:24:00] black community and access to wealth and income. 

You got me all riled up. I don't know why, but I'm going to go shopping now. Just kidding.

Tamu: [00:24:09] I think a lot of the time we always imagine that we have more time and expect that we will be placed in certain situations. But time does move on and sometimes you have blows and hardships and end up having to do the things you need to do to survive.

 And that then comes at a price down the line, where you have to think about what's going to happen to you in your future. If there is a true catastrophe And you have to kind of sort it out and keep it moving.

Aaron: [00:24:41] I think there's just going to be a lot of unexpectedness  and within our community. I honestly, I'm going to put this out into the universe. I hope to God, they do something with student loan debt. I hope to God, but it probably won't happen, 

Tamu: [00:24:52] I was hopeful. I was really hopeful because if they take away my student loan debt, are you kidding me that would make my life so much easier.

[00:25:00] Aaron: [00:25:00] Mm Hmm.

Tamu: [00:25:01] Not to have to try to figure out where $600 is coming from every fucking month.

Aaron: [00:25:05] they should have married that rich German guy to ever tell you this story.

Tamu: [00:25:11] You're you want to tell that story?

Aaron: [00:25:13] of confessions. When I was a teenager, I lived in Houston, Texas, and,  it's very complicated, but I used to go back to Dallas probably a couple of times a month. my dentist was in Dallas when we first moved to Houston, so I would go back for the weekend to,  whatever, hang out and see the dentist.

when I flew with my sister, I would always make her sit in front of me with Southwest. Cause you can sit anywhere and it was safe and nice back then. Anyway.  So this,  I don't know what he was like this German guy, German, white guy came on.

 We locked eyes in that way. He was significantly older. I was probably like 18 or 19. And he was Probably in his fifties anyway, so he sat next to us and we talked and we kept in touch. [00:26:00]

That was my one, my sugar daddy, he was from I want to say it was from Sweden or something.  Every time he came to town, we'd go out to dinner and then I got to stay in a nice fancy hotel. But yeah, that was it.

Tamu: [00:26:14] Did he leave money on the nightstand?

Aaron: [00:26:17] but. Pretty. Yeah, I was not a whore.

Just so you guys know I was not a whore. I did not sleep for money there was no money exchange. It was really nice.  I will say it was my first gay. Interaction. I wouldn't call it a relationship, but that was my first sort of like introduction to the finer things in life and,  access to fillet mignon  and, that life.

That was my, sugar, daddy story, sugar, daddy.

Tamu: [00:26:44] Yeah, but you didn't get any money from him.

Aaron: [00:26:46] I got free food and liquor. A bitch was just trying to scrape her coins together. And I was like, bitch, my, I don't know what the fuck he was Australian.

He was not Australian.

Tamu: [00:26:58] my God, you have gone

[00:27:00] Aaron: [00:27:00] What'd I say, where do you say with chairmen Swedish, German? I don't know what he was, you know, I, I loved them all I have. That's a whole other episode. I'm not going to go there

nor do I want to air my dirty laundry for the world. I went to the thing, I'm an innocent fleur hello.

Tamu: [00:27:18] are you done? It's fine. You have your moment. any final thoughts in relation to the bill coming due

Aaron: [00:27:24] I did have a question for you. Given, this culture shock that you've had this week, what are you going to do now? What's step one for you.

Tamu: [00:27:32] Step one is to try to keep my job, I guess.

In the interim, like I said, I'm going to find,  a black financial planner and perhaps go that route and see what else can be done with, the tiny bits of things that I have. unfortunately I can't like cobble together to save any more than I'm saving right now, just because.

Still got to live, still got shit to do. I still have bills to pay. I've been trying to figure out different ways of thinking about how to get this [00:28:00] all sorted out if I needed to.  I think the bigger part is to just take a step back and breathe and relax and not, make myself feel like I'm a piece of shit.

Aaron: [00:28:10] Right.

Tamu: [00:28:11] Individual. So that's primarily what I've been trying to do. And that's a really hard part because I do tend to beat myself up for my lack of ability to be where I think I need to be at certain points of time in my life. working on that.

Aaron: [00:28:25] Right. And I think everybody, myself included, we all sort of struggle with that. undoing your financial mess is going to, it took a while to get to this point, right. Regardless. And it's going to take awhile to unravel it, but, I feel like if we're taking the steps to educate ourselves and like consciously.

make ourselves aware of financial, that's step number one, right? That you have an awareness about the fact that, Oh my God, I want to be able to invest, to save, to not have to live paycheck, to paycheck, to not struggle granted they're outside forces at play, but at least [00:29:00] you could start the foundation or the thought foundation, or even if it's, just a little bit from every paycheck or whatever, , One thing I will share one thing Rich and I did.

We automatically save something and throw it in another  savings account so we don't miss it. And it has been such a lifesaver to like, we've had some expenses that will come up and we'll just say, okay, well, so we already pay X amount into our rainy day fund.

So we'll just take half of it, and recoup it later. Having those strategies and being realistic about the money you have to  I certainly am more. Aware or in tune to saving and how to save. But, we were born into a system that did not benefit us financially.

We were born into a system that did not benefit us financially, and it is difficult for anyone to be successful, but in particular, for people of color, it is especially difficult. It is systemically difficult. I would hope that,  anyone, , yourself included that you would give yourself a pass give yourself a pass, right?

We're all just trying to [00:30:00] live out here, but again, these are words when you're in the thick of your shit going down, It's a different story, but  hopefully someone hears this and is like, you know what, maybe I should talk to a financial advisor or, , I need to read up on X, Y, and Z, 

you're you're not a piece of shit. You're a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful piece of shit. , 

Tamu: [00:30:23] I do all of those things. I have multiple bank accounts where I take some money and I throw them in there every week or whatever it is. They're not great. It's not like I'm, have like billions of dollars saved there either.

But if I need to go home really quickly, I can do that. Like if something jumps off, I can do that. I can buy groceries. Right? 

Aaron: [00:30:41] Got to have the wine budget. Right.

Tamu: [00:30:42] I haven't been drinking lately.

Aaron: [00:30:45] Are you sabbatical?

Tamu: [00:30:46] I just want to sleep and I don't So, I do have  the, basics a little bit going, right. It's just that it should be more substantial and significant. I feel like at this point, and it's not, and [00:31:00] that's the part that sucks. 

Aaron: [00:31:01] Well, you're not alone.

Let's write 

Tamu: [00:31:02] With. Nobody to take care of me because 

Aaron: [00:31:05] and we'll call it Bitch, We Can't Save.

Tamu: [00:31:10] Yes. Well, All of the ways in which you can fuck yourself up financially in your middle age.

Aaron: [00:31:14] Chapter one, keep that sugar, daddy

Tamu: [00:31:18] Yeah. And you should have kept it and got some cash instead of some damn food.

Aaron: [00:31:23] what is wrong with me. I could have had like a Swiss bank account and been like involved in some scandal at this point. I'm sure. But thank God. Thank you for saving me, Rich love you!

 Oh my God. Let me share some news with you. I have been getting an uptick in my Tik Tok analytics, I was hovering around 300,000, 350.  Last week. It's now jumped up to 434, 

Tamu: [00:31:46] one post

Aaron: [00:31:48] 91,000 likes.

Tamu: [00:31:52] that is so exciting.

Aaron: [00:31:53] That's so fun, but I'm just not a creator. That way. This bitch will not be [00:32:00] posting. you know, with lights and crews and whatever. And so we'll see what happens.

  Tamu: [00:32:21] and we're back and ready to do our throwback for today. Aaron, why don't you tell us all about it?

Aaron: [00:32:27] Guys our throwback today is Wendy Moten's Come On In Out of The Rain,  those of you who read the liner notes, know who Wendy Moten is. Cause she sings back up on pretty much everybody. Else's music, specifically Vince Gill and Martina McBride, I think. But anyway, I love this song 

I picked it because. We snoozed on Wendy Moten. Quite frankly. I'll be very honest. She's got an amazing voice. She's got an amazing tone. She sounds like Whitney Houston, which you know, is the first thing [00:33:00] you hear when you hear her voice. This song, it came out in 1992, and I remember this song and I myself slept on this song. This was not like a  that I love. I mean, I heard it and I was like, Oh, but, and it's definitely in that vein of the  nineties ballads, right? Whitney, Mariah, all of them. Celine same old, same old.

So anyway, I kind of slept on it because honestly 1992 was The Bodyguard and I was all over that shit. That was a horrible time for her to come out.  Fast forward to, I don't know, 2013, maybe. A friend of mine, he sent me this song, Come On In Out of the Rain

he's like, do you remember this song girlfriend? And I was like, no, but yeah, kind of. So anyway, he got the whole album and  I was obsessed with it.Wendy Moten, like all over, like I have paid a good amount of money, for a CD that's no longer available. 

She's fun to listen to. She's just got a beautiful voice. That's my only connection to the song. I think that,  it's a nineties love song. It's the vein of a nineties love [00:34:00] song, a love lost or love. Longing love. Longing, I think is really, I don't really know what that song's about, but anyway, it's a beautiful song.

Tamu: [00:34:08] This description here? It says the song is about forgiveness. Wendy knows she made some mistakes and didn't treat her lover. Well, she admits to her faults and wants to come back and make it right, because she cheated on this person in the song.

Aaron: [00:34:19] It's a great song.

Tamu: [00:34:20] I thought about you and rich in the song and,  how he I don't want to say he saved you, but.  It felt like that's kind of  why you liked it so much was that there are pieces of it that you could relate to. Bring me happiness and joy when you call my name and crap like that.

But then I also thought, if you just put Jesus in most of this, you would think this was a gospel song about loving the Lord.

Aaron: [00:34:44] That's true. You know, Cee Cee Winans who's another one of my favorites. Really? The only favorite gospel person next to Yolanda Adams, do you listen to gospel?

Tamu: [00:34:54] Not really.

Aaron: [00:34:54] Yeah, I'm not a big fan. I love Cee Cee Winans and I think I like her [00:35:00] more because most of her writers of the song she's sung have been crossover songs.

Instance, Mark Anthony wrote a song, "No One". And she sang it for her album, and it's true.  She was singing to Jesus and I was like, I'm pretty sure Mark Anthony was singing to his flavor of the month when he sang that song. 

Tamu: [00:35:16] even when she says, I love no one, but you, but I strayed and I know I made you blue. She could be talking about straying  from the Lord

Aaron: [00:35:22] I picked up that crack pipe

Tamu: [00:35:24] or just, I stopped going to church and that's where I stopped believing. 

Aaron: [00:35:27] Right or

Tamu: [00:35:28] Things like that. Not about drugs.

Aaron: [00:35:30] I'm just taking the angle of like, Lord, I strayed, I was out at the club, shaking it fast and here I am on my knees for you.

Tamu: [00:35:38] on Sunday. It could be that too.

Aaron: [00:35:40] My favorite album is,  It's Time for a Change. it's very Whitney Houston.

 It's a bunch of ballads produced by David Foster. So David Foster got ahold of her and she had a pretty good tour with him. Like he would bring her along and she would sing. I Will Always Love You

And he would showcase their voice because they had just signed her. But, [00:36:00] she was compared to Whitney Houston and then just never really worked out. You're absolutely right this album and the other album, there are certain songs where I certainly think about my husband and,  shit that I've gone through, or just, breakups or whatever. I have an unrelated. Do you remember blue Cantrell? So her album, I don't remember the name of it.

I think it was So Blue. Hit Em' Up Style was on that album and there was a song on the album called Can't Believe and it was a break up song. It was you and me till there was no more. I can't believe you've done this to me, blah, blah, blah. Just like horrible. Crying mascara running type of love song.

Anyway, at the time I was with, my ex-boyfriend in Miami and it was our first breakup, that should have been my first clue. And I played that song on repeat and walked all around Miami beach,  just listening to the song and repeat. Love songs and sad songs just brings such comfort to me. They just hold me and say you're okay.

 I can't describe it.  A good love song is just like, you know, bitch, I've been there and you're going to [00:37:00] be okay. Anyway, I digress. I love love.

Tamu: [00:37:02] I know, we know.

Aaron: [00:37:03] I love love. Oh my God. I was going to read for one of my first songs. I don't know if I have it. I was going to read it for you today. I never share my, beautiful inner workings with you. Have I I've shared my songs with you before. Yeah. I'm not going to sing, obviously.

 Yeah, cause I just don't it's copy written copy written. Where did it go? I probably don't have it with it. anyway, it was a song called What Eyes Can Tell I have it memorized. In your, in your eyes, I see lies. You're wicked to the core in your eyes. Sad goodbyes. You're walking out the door.

In my eyes. I don't know why, but I'm confused alone and scared in my eyes. You see me cry. You've hurt me where no one dared it's hard to fathom why I fell for you. It's hard to fathom why you couldn't be true. I forgot the rest, but anyway, so fathom that word fathom. I wrote that song in 1990 and Mariah Carey wrote a song.

Yep. Said it. Mariah [00:38:00] Carey wrote a song. From up above and in essentially, like it's hard to fathom it's first verse and she says hard to fathom. And I was like, I don't know, 15 at the time I was like, what the fuck does that mean? So I looked it up. I was like, Oh my God. I wanted to use it in a song.

 that's how you said it's hard to fathom. Why I fell for you

Tamu: [00:38:19] wow.

Aaron: [00:38:20] it's a very simplistic song. I have to post my lyrics on my very first, actually that was my first secular song. my first song was,  some Jesus song. I don't even remember. Anyway, I digress. I love music. I'm sorry.

Tamu: [00:38:38] All right.  Let's wrap it up. Do you,  want to do your housekeeping?

Aaron: [00:38:41] Absolutely. 

guys, thank you so much for listening to us, please like us.

Share us follow us comments wherever you podcast. We're on Instagram @whenthebillcomesdue. We're on Tik TOK @whenthebillcomesdue or you can shoot us an email, [email protected] [00:39:00] But thank you so much for listening. 

Tamu: [00:39:04] Wear a mask, stay six feet apart keep your head up.

Aaron: [00:39:09] All right, I'm done.

Tamu: [00:39:10] Okay. We will see you all next week.