When the Bill Comes Due

Ep 16: Rancid Hotdish

April 18, 2021 Aaron & Tamu Season 1 Episode 16
When the Bill Comes Due
Ep 16: Rancid Hotdish
Show Notes Transcript

Who knew that Minnesota would become the center of racism two years in a row, y'all? It's been a busy week in America. Aaron and Tamu try to digest all this rancid hotdish being served up. Hard to feel optimistic. Nicole Renee was onto something with her 1998 gem, "Ain't Nothin' Changed." We aren't all doom and gloom (you know Aaron has no damn sense), so come through, family! We are not ok - and that's okay! #comethrough #whenthebillcomesdue


Aaron:  [00:00:00]All right. Pop this shit off. SIS.

Tamu: Welcome I'm Tamu

Aaron: Hey guys, I'm Aaron. How you doing?

Tamu: Welcome to another day of fun and excitement in ye old America.

Aaron: How's your week been?

Tamu: It's been a week.

Aaron: It has been a week. Thankfully I had work to keep me busy, but for me, it felt like there was a lot more going on and I couldn't [00:01:00] devote my entire attention to the world falling apart this week. So I'm kind of grateful for that, but because I'm a nosy ass bitch, I knew about it, at 6:30, and then it's like, Oh, watching the news what's going on.

, heavy week. Oh my God. I couldn't imagine being there,

Tamu: Just about something every day.

Aaron: man. Oh man. 

Tamu: First things, first thing, great moments in white American history is that Breonna Taylor's murderer got a book deal.

Aaron: stop sign. Did you send this to me?

Oh my God, what

Tamu: Sergeant Jonathan Mattingly has a book deal to write about his trials and tribulations in his experience with Breonna Taylor's murder. Let me find the title here. the fight for truth the inside story behind the Breonna Taylor tragedy.

Aaron: you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Tamu: Oh no, I'm not. what ended up happening is Simon and Schuster who distributes the books is like, no, we're not going to be a part of [00:02:00] that. So sorry, the company that's publishing the book is called post Hill press. And I guess they do a lot of right wing Republican people books.

they publish books for Laura Loomer, Matt Gaetz 

Aaron: Lovely. This is like the OJ, if I did it white version, remember that shit.

Tamu:  Michael Stranahan interviewed him back in October he seems pretty matter of fact and remorseless about his participation in this, and basically blamed Breonna Taylor's boyfriend for her murder.

Aaron: I remember that interview.

Tamu: He said, if he hadn't shot in the hallway or had her in the hallway with him while he was shooting and none of this would've ever happened,

Aaron: Um, maybe boo, if you didn't come in hot and pull your Dick out, we wouldn't be in this

Tamu: one shot that man fired one shot. you all fired 30 shots he was like, I could have died. Cause it went into my femoral artery. But you survive. Do people got you out and you were able to get attentive care. [00:03:00] Meanwhile, this woman is dying in her home. So

Aaron: That's too bad.

Tamu:  If you can find it on Twitter, Joy Reid at the end of her show on Friday, basically,  was like, so this vampire is gonna suck this black life consistently dry to get some coins. And I was like, you go Joy! You go.   A fun story out in South Carolina. I don't know if you saw this. some kind of Sergeant in the army, Jonathan Pentland was harassing this young black kid who was walking down the street in his neighborhood. And basically he's like, you don't belong here. You need to get out. I don't know who you are. aside from having 50 11 blacks come over and protest in front of his house, he was arrested and charged with third degree assault and also suspended from the army.

Aaron: I don't know if it was you that told me this, or maybe I saw it on , I don't know, black Twitter, somewhere Black Insta Tik Tok [00:04:00] whatever.  They were saying that the video before that was the fact that this guy. Pushed him a few times threw his phone down and stepped on it. 

Tamu: initially the cops said that they couldn't do anything, but charge them for the damage against the phone, but not for assaulting him.

Aaron: it was sad to see that it looked like. he was sort of having a crisis though, that wasn't clear to me, like if the guy was having a mental health crisis or something, or 

Tamu: no, he was just walking. He was just calm.

Aaron: okay. I heard a comment. So there was a story or maybe a narrative. I read something about, he was perhaps having a crisis at the time, but regardless it doesn't matter.

Tamu: His crisis was that he was being attacked by a giant white man. 

Aaron: my goodness.

Tamu: In other fun Midwestern news. I might've sent you the article about Kyle Rittenhouse and the donors that he has are lots of police officers 

Aaron: there. There's some politicians on that list too.

Tamu: probably

Aaron: I saw that too. And I was like, are we surprised? No, not really. Not really at all.

Tamu: How are you [00:05:00] supposed to feel in any way safe as a person of color when you already in the back of your mind, believe that they're all racist, they're all racist or whatever, but then you have to separate that right? To say, maybe they're here to actually protect me, but still now, you know, you know, because for people who live wherever these States are that these police officers are working, they're actually not there to support you.

They could probably give a shit if something bad happens to you because they're out here supporting this idiot who killed people,

Aaron: that's very true. 

Tamu: how do you ever feel safe?

Aaron: did I ever send you the video of the food truck, couple. There's this video of this couple, they own a food truck, but I guess there's like this community space where, you know, , they all cook their foods or prep their foods and it's owned by this guy.

So anyway, this couple was called into a meeting and the wife got there first and just felt like really weird. You know, she felt some type of way, like something was going to go down and apparently he had pulled out an all lives matter t-shirt or something anyway. So it escalated  to the fact [00:06:00] that husband gets there.

This fool white guy pulls out a gun, husband grabs the wife and  is holding him for like 11 minutes or so. Uh, while she called the police, she didn't want to call the police. Uh, she was afraid to call the police is what she says in the interview. What, she also says that the police opened the door, which, you know, to me like black women bravery.

Right? Because to me, this is the best part of the story. To me, the bravest part of the story, this woman opened the door. They could have thought she was the one, you know, she didn't know what she was walking into, but she said, I'm not going to let you in  until each of you promises not to shoot my husband.

 She asked every single one of them to agree to that. And she let them in. But like, you can't even trust people that come to your house. Like you have to be like, let me explain to you what happens. And that's the pro thank God they listened.  But. You never know. Right? 

There's many case in points, documented [00:07:00] cases of hot head stupid asses. In all of this, we, as black people,  have to continue to be diplomatic and, take it on the chin. Don't resist. Don't do anything.

Whereas as we've all seen this week, white people can do this and live and save their lives. There's a real fear for me as a black person, me as a parent of black children, me as a lover of black people, period, there's a real fear that somebody's gonna die because they've gotten pulled over because they've had a busted tail light .

I didn't tell you this. Rich had. I don't know. I think it was a busted tail light actually on our minivan. I don't drive a minivan for many reasons. We can go there later, he had a busted taillight and I refuse to drive his car.  I just never got in it. I did not want to get stopped. Even if I was just going five minutes down the street, I just didn't want to get stopped.

And like, that's a real, real fear for a lot of people, a lot of people,

[00:08:00] Tamu: Absolutely. kudos to the cops for actually listening to the black woman because nine times out of 10, they've knocked her ass on the ground, in his winning anyway. what a miracle that they actually did that,

we've already seen videos this week Of other people infringing on the police, beating them with their own weapons,  stealing their cars and coming out of it alive, dragging a policemen on the side of their pickup truck for miles and living to tell the

Aaron: Well, and the most famous of all is raiding the Capitol and living to tell about it. right?

Tamu: raiding it, killing cops, beating the shit out of them doing whatever the hell they want to getting escorted out. 

Aaron: this is all incredibly exhausting. It's been an exhausting emotional there is no good news in this world. There just is no good news in this world at all.

And that makes me incredibly sad.  Just, it's exhausting. I'm exhausted.

Tamu: then yesterday I was looking in Twitter and I saw that there was a police incident [00:09:00] in New York in times square, some stupid fuck brought an AK 47 into the subway, took it out, took the gun out, put it on the ground. unfortunately he was a black man, young kid, like 20 from Ohio.

Aaron: it's hard to know really. There's just so much going on. What triggers what's happening right now. This time last year, I just remember a lot of folks saying on the news that,  we're headed towards a mental health crisis in this country due to the pandemic.

And I think we're starting to start to see some of those waves, we're watching the world implode live and in color and TV in our houses. it's just scary. I think people are. And I, by no means, am I making any excuses for anybody shooting up anybody or whatever, but I'm just, I'm simply saying that mental health is real and that's the next wave of pandemic slapping you right in your goddamn face.


Tamu: Right. Gun violence is epidemic in this country. Was it 53 shootings this month or this week or some crazy total number? that's just [00:10:00] insane this can't always just be about money, which it seems to be. Everything seems to be about money.

Aaron: I really hate politics, but I'm going to go here anyway. I just think of the unfortunate dance that  the folks we elect to fight for us are doing right now in DC. They're just playing with our lives. You this is serious, this is serious and it's not being taken seriously.

And people are worried about votes and opinions versus lives. That's number one, the problem. it just really sucks that we, I just felt powerless,  I'm sure for many years we have all been powerless. Right. But like right now it's really, really powerless as an American and watching just all of this happen before your very eyes, all of it, you know?

Tamu: To the last four years. We've begun to understand how government works. AKA. It doesn't work at all. it doesn't work for you. It doesn't work for me. the minority in [00:11:00] this country holds the majority of power. They don't give a shit about anybody but themselves. They don't even care about their own constituencies. They just care about securing their own bags making money and having more power.

This is an unsustainable model, but it's been something that's been going on for decades.

Aaron: I think about all that you just said there, and what's wrapped in it, like for myself and I think for you, and I think for a lot of people, like, we're sort of having this soul searching money where like, you know, we're on this fucking hamster wheel, right. We're in our jobs, we're tied down with bills and, priorities and responsibilities, you know?

And that's all we're doing is we're working for money and we're working for something I like to do work That I'm interested in or that excites me or that I feel like I feel good about.

I don't have an overwhelming desire to, become this VP of whatever corporate organization or whatever. And I think partly too it's because. I'm a black man. , [00:12:00] it's bullshit.  I haven't been given the opportunity to some degree. Right. It's not something that I'm, interested in, and even 

with a little taste of sort of promotions and moving on and, Oh, I can really see myself doing this for the rest of my life. You're then slapped in the face with the corporate structure of your place in this world and how far your ceiling goes,  as a Brown person

I think a lot of people think this is a game I want to get off of I feel like there's a lot of entrepreneur, like energy, coming  out of these movements, which is great. But it's also really sad because people are waking up too late.

These corporations are waking up too late. You're trying to now include us in the conversation and it should have been that way all along, you know? And I say, you're trying to, but we're not yet,  

Tamu: I don't think that they still care a hundred percent. Like I said, I just, it feels trite to me at this point in time. Like, Oh, well we better do this, you know? Yeah. Again, worrying about [00:13:00] money, not really actually worrying about people a hundred percent. One last bit of fun, exciting news in our tribute to white American history is that the police officer who pepper sprayed, Caron Nazario has been fired. Now, Caron was the army Lieutenant who got pepper sprayed that we talked about last week the Windsor police department finally told him that he had to go.

I'm assuming, because this went viral because he still had his job up until Wednesday.

Aaron: Right, right. Because this happened like, uh, I want to say March 29th, March 30th, somewhere around there, right?

Tamu: Nope. Different, different murder. This was, um, this was in December.

Aaron: on? Good. Jesus.

I'm gonna start a spreadsheet. we're going to become the reposit when the bill comes to repository of nightmares.

Tamu: Good Lord. peace out to you, officer [00:14:00] Gutierrez, kiss my ass and kick rocks.

Aaron: you're an asshole. 

Tamu: I'm sure he'll get a job at another police precinct somewhere.

Aaron: I was thinking about, the last time we recorded, which was a week ago and we went to bed. Right. And then we woke up, wait, so this happened Sunday night, right? Or did it happen Saturday night?

Tamu: this happened Sunday

Aaron: Okay. Sunday. 

Tamu: and then Sunday night shit

Aaron: Right. Shit popped off.

Tamu: let's end our segment and move on to the topic at hand.

Aaron: big news, right?

Tamu: I don't even know. I don't even know. It's just When the Bill Comes Due Redux. I mean, I don't know,  it's like Groundhog's day and just a never ending fucking story of the same shit, literally different day, 

Aaron: Did you see the Netflix, short story movie? Two Strangers on Netflix.  I saw it this morning on CBS this morning, it's a 29 minute film and it's essentially Groundhog day for this black guy. The [00:15:00] first time he wakes up, he's roughed up and choked saying, I can't breathe a second time. he was shot running away. Third time, the girl who he was his one night stand, or that the apartment was broken into.

She wasn't shot, but he was, that was an interesting take because  I fully expected him to shoot her, but since the movie was about him getting shot and it was his ground dog, they, I would imagine she wouldn't have gotten shot. So anyway, long story short, you get it.

They go through these scenarios of how every day is Groundhog day for black men. And at one point he talks to a girlfriend and says, what would you do if, if someone was trying to kill you and she's like, well, just talk to them. So they started talking to each other and it's amazing that they fit all of this in 29 minutes, but it really felt like a very long movie.

if I could give anyone something to watch quickly to just get it. It is that movie. It is, it is that movie. It was, it was nominated for an Oscar. but just the message and. The reality of [00:16:00] that black man waking up every single morning to the same to a nightmare, you would wake up because of a nightmare, but a different nightmare of him being killed and running for his life.

And so at the very end of course, I guess I can be a spoiler. It doesn't really, it's 30 minutes if you're pissed. Sorry. Yeah.

Oh my God. Where's your compassion, Aaron. Fuck.

 I was watching this it's like, Oh my God, this is going to have a great ending. They went their ways, but then he decided to shoot them at the very end and said, I'll see you tomorrow. So like, this cop is almost like, it's a game for him.

Right. He understood that it could end, but for him it was a game, just a

Tamu: going to keep it

Aaron: beautiful, beautiful, it just stayed with me all day. it's a great tool for everybody. See, it's not really gory or bloody or violent I guess they say some bad words, but I think it'd be great for kids to see for people to see.

And it excites me that this [00:17:00] stuff is coming out. But total complete segue from the fact that this is Groundhog day and we keep experiencing 

Tamu: I thought it was a joke at first. And then one of my friends sent me a text message and was like, There's writing, going on in a Brooklyn Center and I was just going, what? Then I looked and I was like, Oh God damn it. Not again. you know, it's a great place to be right now in Minnesota.

 Unfortunately Daunte Wright's family gets to be a part of that sorority slash fraternity of parents and siblings and family members and friends who no longer have a person in their lives as a result of police violence. And we're dead smack in the middle of the trial.

Aaron: It's a lot going on there. 

Tamu: Everybody had just finished  watching the viral video from Caron Nazario that Saturday. Then this happens on Sunday and then explosions happen  then we get to what Thursday, and Mr. [00:18:00] Toledo is dead it's just been a week.

Aaron:  I don't know irony is, I don't know if irony is the word, but like all of this is just coming to a head right now before eyes. in my, heart, I'm saying, God damn it. Do you see a 13 year old fucking boy, a 20 year old stop for tags, a decorated officer, serving our country could have died.

it just never, ever ends. This is a fear. it is a tangible, it is a real fear for a lot of people.  It makes me so sad to just see all this. And I'm just tired. I'm so tired. What do we do? 

Tamu: I don't know. I don't know. I honestly have no idea. So for. Daunte. most people watch the news conference where they showed the video the first time around and seeing that this was potentially an accident. At first you look at it and you're like, Oh my God, how horrible this woman must feel terrible.

She seemed to exclaim, Oh shit. I shot him  it seemed panicked. It [00:19:00] seemed a terrible mistake. I think most people don't want to believe that people could, would be that malicious or make a mistake, for something like that, like, Oh shit, you pick the wrong weapon. However, now that I've seen more information, I kind of feel like, but we should know the difference. And also this traffic stop was not a violent traffic stop. You stopped him because he didn't apparently have tags.

And also maybe because he had an air freshener on his rear view mirror or whatever, none of that matters, none of that should have required any sort of violence to begin with. give him a ticket and keep it pushing. It did not require all of that. Amber Ruffin as a segment called How Did We Get Here?

And she was talking about Daunte's murder. Basically saying the police have become debt collectors. So they  stopped him because of the tabs that were expired. Number one, but number two, they found out that he had two misdemeanor warrants. I think they totaled, I want to say like three or $400.

He's dead because [00:20:00] he owed $400. That's ridiculous. There's no need for that.

Aaron:  They're  constant cases of just minor, I'd say ignorant infractions, right? It's very interesting we're now in a society where now police need to show the receipts. And they show the receipts I'm saying in air quotes by showing these videos, like these videos are what we are seeing. It's what's on TV now. Like this is the norm.  It's just so sad all around.  For me, when I think about, Daunte Wright, and kind of all this stuff, that's happening with him, it's Minnesota, we've had this conversation. I, in many ways I grew up there.  We met there obviously. So I have a connection to Minnesota I still have some friends there, et cetera, but like just the irony of a lot of what's happening here.

This is the third murder in Minnesota specifically, like, what does it say? What, what?

Tamu: Third [00:21:00] national one.

Aaron: I mean, I wasn't even going nationally with that, but yeah, you're absolutely right. Minnesota  is ground zero for killing black men by police.

Tamu: okay. Maybe let's not go there, but it's another place where black

Aaron: You don't think Minnesota is ground zero.

Tamu: America is ground zero for black men dying.

Aaron: you're right. I mean, I guess, right. But today in this moment, ground zero is Minnesota.

Tamu: particular moment. Yes, it is in this year for a year. Right? Cause it literally hasn't even been a year yet.

They've had two high-profile deaths in a year.

Aaron: I agree. I agree. So, you know, obviously all eyes on them, but for all intents and purposes, if I'm calling them ground zero, 

Tamu: You really hate this place so much.

Aaron: Minnesota. But like,

Tamu: You do.

Aaron: just feel like there's, you know, I lived there it is not surprising to me that Minnesota is this place where all this is jumping off right now.  You live there. Right. And everybody's like, Oh, Minnesota.

Nice. And Oh, you know, we have a very diverse community [00:22:00] and blah, blah, blah. And all this shit is bubbling out, bubbling out. They could no longer contain it with a smile and a, you betcha, like it's, it's bubbling out everywhere.

Tamu: They can't hide it in the hot dish. It's popping up. It's a rancid hot dish. Episode title

Aaron: When I think about everything that's happening right now, there's a certain part of me that's emotional or like engraged or feeling like, yes. Like I fucking lived there and granted, I didn't get pulled up. Did I get pulled over by the cops?

 I think I did once, but I have my kids with me and I was in the speed lane going to Wayzata. I guess the experiences that I have had personally, and I would imagine you've had some experiences there in Minnesota as well, having been there for awhile, but like just the experiences of what I call  indirect racism, but that's not really, it it's more like a silent racism because  they're not like, Oh, we'll use a nigga.

[00:23:00] You know, I fucking hate you. That's not what you get there. I think about the fact that, you know, that was the first place I ever saw a person. Clutch their purse. As I walk by a white woman, clutch their purse. As I walked by, it was the first place somebody called me a nigger.

Like all these things happen there in Minnesota and I think that's, what's wrapped up in what you're probably perceiving as, Oh my God, you hate Minnesota. it is more of an anger of just like in that, in those moments when I was there, when I was subjected to whatever it was, I was subjected to I didn't speak out and be like, listen, bitch, fuck you.

I think it's really wonderfully ironic that this is happening in Minnesota because I think that people need to take a really good look at themselves. you may love everybody. You may, tell yourself that you don't see color. Don't say that ever again.

There's some introspect work that needs to go on there. Big time. Cause it's not Minnesota Nice.

Tamu: actually, it is Minnesota. Nice. Right? They're nice to your face, but then behind your back or whatever, they're kind of like

Aaron: That's [00:24:00] right. You're right. It is Minnesota. Nice. But it's not the true meaning of being nice. 

Tamu: no, it's not actually nice.

It's been a difficult experience for a lot of people. So Kim Potter, the woman, the officer who murdered Daunte Wright, lives in Champlin, which is a suburb in the state. And she has protection from their police department where her whole house is like fucking fenced in and barricaded.

It looks like downtown Minneapolis. it looks like what they do to the police precincts  I don't recall any other officers Chauvin I don't recall Mohamed Noor I don't recall anybody else having these sorts of issues. So it was a little bit surprising to see that they're really going and being really extra

Aaron: I mean, are you really surprised though,

Tamu: I kind of am because they didn't do it before. So is it that they feel like they're trying to preemptively learn from last time? I mean, nothing has ever happened to these officers, right?  I have never heard that their homes have been broken [00:25:00] into. I've never heard of anything,

Aaron: January 6th, what preparation was there as we are finding out. Right. But look, what the fuck they've been doing since this trial started everything's been blocked up and Mr. Wright gets murdered. And they immediately, blockade everything. So first of all, nothing about that says peacefully protest, nothing about that says, Hey, we want to come to your level, which again, these are all happy path statements in the first place. Right. It'll never happen, but what the fuck do you think is going to happen?

If you raise attention to that level? If you, if you tell these people like, Oh my God, we're going to prepare for y'all. You know, we're getting prepared for y'all when January 6th, they knew about it. They all knew about it. Nobody did anything.

Tamu: well, we already know why

Aaron: That's very true.

Tamu: in case people who are listening, don't know why because white  let's think about it in a more broader sense. We already know here that they have brought in the army, the Navy, [00:26:00] the space force, the air force, the Marines, the national guard, the FBI, the ATF, DEA, ABC XYZ.

MIA, who the fuck knows MI6? All of these people are here already. So on Sunday night people took an opportunity to destroy. Property and businesses  so yes, I can understand why the next day they're kind of come back and be like, so we're already up the street 

Aaron: I mean, I get it.

Tamu: come up your street.

Aaron:  This is the new America, right? This is what's gonna, what we're going to see forever. We're going to see this until God only knows. We're just going to see until the end of the time, probably. But , this is a new scenario.

Tamu: it's not a new scenario because this is happening in communities where there are people of color protesting or being angry about something. I will bring it back to January 6th. Nothing occurred. Those people were violent, destroying property, doing the same things that people were doing. And they were ushered [00:27:00] out  

buses didn't get brought in to take these people to the jails, nothing they're allowed to have organic food in the prison. I mean, come on. They're allowed to go home. They're allowed to go on the trips to Mexico. They're allowed to have

Aaron: to live. They're allowed to live.

Tamu: I don't agree with looting. I agree with strategic looting. Don't loot in your neighborhood. The local stores, because they're local stores, they're businesses that your parents could own their businesses that, you know, your neighbors probably own. 

 Now, if you want to go to a target, okay,

 target fun of Walmart, go steal your auto parts that you need to take whatever you need to do. Great.

Aaron: it's stupid.

Tamu: It's dumb.

Aaron: And by no means, do we condone it, 

Tamu: But if you're going to do it, be smart about how you do it and don't do it in your neighborhoods. I've always said that we never understood why we would destroy things in our own neighborhoods, knowing full well that they're not going to be rebuilt.

Aaron: When George Floyd happened last [00:28:00] year, I can't think of the woman that same. I think her first name is Kimberley, but she had this video. And the one part I remember in her statement, which,  by no means, am I, condoning looting violence, but like she said in her statement, like we're burning it down because it wasn't ours to begin with. And I thought, wow, that was a different way to look at it. You know? And like in the eyes of those in neither of those people in that neighborhood, they're burning it down because it wasn't theirs to begin with.

Tamu: and that's fine, but some of this shit is yours. Some of that, shit's your neighbors, you know what I mean? Like again, be judicious about how you do it. Fucking target is not yours. Fucking Walmart is a big corporation. Do what you gotta do, but don't take away the pharmacy that makes handmade drugs that are specific to people with ailments that probably serve your neighborhood, that you probably can't get anywhere else.

 You don't have to destroy the small businesses in your areas. That's all. That's what I'm saying. Be strategic about your steal. If you're going to steal

Aaron: or you don't steal it all, perhaps

Tamu: don't steal,

Aaron: that's, let's go with that [00:29:00] one.

Tamu: people rolling out with shopping bags. Come

Aaron: yeah, I, I never understood like looting and just whether it was your neighborhood or, or elsewhere. I mean, I get being upset. I get it. I get it right. But I think we have many ways to channel our anger. 

Tamu: my dad and I've been having this conversation cause he's always like, well, where are people going to express their rage?

Aaron: I agree.

Tamu: How do you express your rage? And it goes into the same thing of  Do the Right Thing at the end where,  Mookie throws the trash can  of the pizza shop window.

Right? Cause they kill radio Raheem. I understand the rage. What do you do with the anger? You can't keep swallowing this all the time. Where do you put your anger? To put it where you live to put it in spaces that have served you in the past.

Probably doesn't serve you. Well, later on down the line,

Aaron:  I find myself valid validating my emotions, or validating things that I wouldn't have allowed myself to say out loud or something to the fact that, you know, [00:30:00] like not every day, I want to deal with white people, or some days I am angry at white people,

I was talking to coworker this past week she grew up during the sixties  for, I would imagine our parents and, earlier like this all hurts a lot, like us young ins out here being angry, right. Where we're angry.

But they have  trauma and anger and hurt and everything just bubbling to the surface for them. So I, no imagine my mom has passed away and,  my older aunts and uncles, a lot of them are gone. but I don't recall any ever having any conversations about that time period for them,  as kids.

And so I'm imagining that this time is just incredibly just, I feel I'm traumatized. Right. But can you, could you imagine what they're going through? You know?

Tamu: I'm not going to discount people. Young people. Today's trauma and pain of

Aaron: Trauma is trauma, of

Tamu: because it's 100% valid everybody's [00:31:00] experiencing trauma and has experienced trauma and is trying to deal with everything that's going on. If you're a little older and have a little bit of experience, maybe you know how to channel it differently perhaps, or perhaps not

 I talked to my grandmother the other day and she said that this is worse than it was when she was coming up.. The racism is overt I was like, are you kidding me back in the day day? Like when you're up here fighting in the sixties, she's like, yeah, it is worse than it was then. Cause it was still, Kind of subversive slightly under the radar for these people out here in the streets, loud and proud.

it's hard to know what to do about it because there's nothing that you can actually do about it.

Aaron: That's just it.

Tamu: It's hard to be hopeful. anytime you turn on the television or look at your phone or whatever, you're seeing another incidence of you name it. You can't walk down the street, you can't drive your car. You can't, have air freshers in your windshield. You can't go to the store. You can't [00:32:00] breathe.

You can't fucking live.

I'm not discounting people's anger at the situation. I don't know what to do to remedy that.

Aaron: I feel in some ways, like the bus is stopped, the road is not built, we're just like, fuck, what would we do now?

Tamu:  I agree with you. There's just, I don't see a way out of this and it's frightening.

Aaron:  I was just thinking about the summer too. I dunno if I'm looking forward to the summer this is all complex too, because we're in the middle of a pandemic.  And everybody's at home still.

If you're a smart state, Watching this play out you're you have watched many people get shot, killed, die, et cetera, all while worrying about getting COVID or watching people die from COVID, Holy shit, how are we supposed to walk out of this? 

Tamu: We're not

Aaron: No, we're not okay. We're not okay.

Tamu: And I think it's becoming very clear that it's not okay here. It's not okay. Here. I have no idea what's going to happen next week because, for the [00:33:00] murder trial, the defense and the prosecution have rested and now they do their closing arguments. And then the jury deliberates I don't know what that's going to look like.

Aaron: Either way, what does that look like? 

Tamu: What is it going to take? Is any verdict going to satisfy people? Any of the verdicts are any of them are going to satisfy people so that they feel that I'm going to use quotes. Justice has been served.

Aaron: I couldn't imagine being a juror right now. What a lot of pressure, what an incredible responsibility. 

Tamu: I'm just waiting for the see I told you, so moment, same one that we get all the time. People are making the, comparison between this trial and other police trials where for example, Justine Damond. So there weren't three prolific murders. There were four. we're Justine Damon

Aaron: White woman, right?

Tamu: Murdered by Mohamed Noor he's the only one that fucking went to jail.

Aaron: Yup. Mohamed, the Brown boy,

Tamu: Wonder

Aaron: the Brown boy 

Tamu: the black [00:34:00] man went to jail.

Aaron:  You don't go out much because obviously there's a pandemic, but like when you are out, I'm curious to know, what is the energy around the area?

Tamu: since this, since the riots, these

Aaron: Well, yeah, even George Floyd, even when George Floyd happened,  was it tense? 

Tamu: I don't know because I didn't go outside because I was afraid to go outside.

Aaron: It is very scary, like with all these mass shootings and the randomness,  of it all, it feels like to some degree folks have just gotten a license to just not give a fuck in a really bad way, you know? I think about that. Like going to the store now and just being in a lot of places with people, more than I would have ever done.

We've been living through gun violence for some time now, my kids now go through these like escape drills and I just think, Oh my God, how sad for my kids that, like, this is normal. It's not just a fire drill. It's this shooting drill, you know?  I don't know what the hell they call it at school, but I couldn't imagine, and as a parent. I know that it [00:35:00] happens.

I know that they're doing it, but I don't think about it, because if I did, Oh my God, it would fuck me up left and right. I would be one of those homeschooling bitches, which I, can't, I love my babies, but I cannot homeschool them. They don't want me to be their teacher. Oh, man, this shit is heavy.

Tamu: do you want to talk about, Adam Toledo.

Aaron: It's sad. I don't know what to say. It's a baby.

Tamu: He had his hands up and had no gun 

Aaron: this is a prime example on this motherfucker is like, I feel so bad and I had a split second. So let me get this straight. You had a split second with someone. I don't know. He just looked like a kid to me. So your first thought is to just shoot the dude, I feel like there were options there.

Like there could have been negotiations or something, or just stop coming in hot, read the situation for what it is and go from there, but that'll never happen.

Tamu: No, they come in hot regardless. if Adam had a gun and dropped it, he dropped it in running, he ran, he stopped. He had his [00:36:00] hands up and he was turning with his hands up and he was then murdered. I think that becomes the issue.

Aaron: He was complying and he was killed, though. It doesn't matter if you comply or if you run away, he's still going to die. That's the point of that story?

By the time that whole story came out with Adam, I was spent honestly, just we've had everything, shootings, Asian hate, all of these things. I think it was Thursday, they talked about the body cam  I just happened to look up at the news and I'm like, Oh, well, let me see what this is about. I have no emotions left honestly. I just, you know, I remember waking up and going fuck on Friday. Just like shit, Gayle said

good morning. Well, we got through it. I'm like, fuck, come on, man. Can we get some good news, please? Just once. We're still here. We are still here. but that's about all I can say right now.  I obviously very blessed with family, friends and a job and a home, all of those things. But man, it's really heavy. There's no way out. That's a very good way to say things.

It feels like there's no way [00:37:00] out, no way out for no one, which hopefully means y'all need to fucking deal with your shit, but that's probably not going to happen.

I think, growing numb to just like desensitize is probably a better word and more desensitized to what's happening just because it happens all the time and you store that shit away  and get things moving.

It's a struggle bus. Like I think I'm obviously motivated by money because I work every it's a struggle. It's a struggle bus to, to just focus.

Tamu: What a

Aaron: what a fucking world

I'm going to work on my runs this weekend.

Tamu: You should. should we take a moment and come back and do our throwback for

Aaron: Yes. Yeah.

Tamu: All right.


 We are back with our throwback for [00:38:00] today and it is Ain't Nothin' Changed by Nicole Renee.

Aaron: I love her Nicole Renee. So I used to work in a record store. I'm probably going to date myself. Oh my God. We're the same age. She went to Julliard. God, I'm a slacker. Anyway. They used to always promo these new albums at, tower records and, Nicole Renee was there and they used to have the listening stations.

University of Texas, we had this huge one and I listened to Nicole Renee and the song they were highlighting, I think with Strawberries. Which is probably her more popular song. I think more people know it, it was a moderate hit in the nineties, 1995, I want to say.

 I took the album home and just fell in love with, uh, my characterization of her is that she's the female Prince. just like a very talented woman can play guitar. Great songwriter trained in opera, like does some opera stuff on her album. She works with one of my favorite producers,  David Foster.

I suppose, in the nineties, I [00:39:00] always wanted to see what women singers would sound like with the David Foster treatment. Even though I know David Foster is an asshole, I digress anyway. I love this song.  It's just a song about. To me growing up black.

 Still staying in the same house, still putting up with bullshit, they're putting down,  it talks about the struggles of  I would assume her life as  a black child growing up. I remember listening to the song and I liked the song because I loved  how it was produced and I loved the message.

 Was a sad message, but honestly, I would say time period probably was like 23, 24, something around there. I didn't relate to her struggle,  I was still this suburban kid listening to this music and I'm just like, Oh, this is really cool. And it sounds really sad, but I couldn't sympathize. I could empathize.  Because,  I guess,  just awareness of the black struggle at that time in my life, but I'm listening to it now and hearing it over again.

When we were talking about, picking [00:40:00] one of these songs, I was just like, ah, I really want to pick that one.  To me, this song is like a timeless. Struggle song, right? It wasn't a popular song, but I think a lot of people resonate to the message now and I just love it.

 It was a great raw expression of a struggle, her feelings about a struggle. 

Tamu:  I'd never heard it until you picked it. And when I listened to it, it's sounds like a nineties ballad, nineties, R&B I liked it. It's a good song. And just looking at the lyrics. it starts off still living in the same place, still staying in the same town, 

Aaron: still putting up with bullshit that they're putting down, nothing changed. Mothers still sayin' Papa's no good brothers.

Still alive. Knock on wood. Papa got laid off just the other day. Can't seem to find a job. So he stays away. Mama standing in line for welfare, barely getting by not a penny to spare, no more clothes for brother and me. We'll be lucky if we're able to eat in the same place in the same town

I got a whole lot of [00:41:00] love and a whole lot of loving inside of me.

That's what she does. All those crazy runs.

Tamu: Oh, okay, cool.

Aaron:  There was a lot of nineties conscious ballads that came out, during this time period.  I find that very interesting now because we just last week did the  Sound of Da Police, which I had never heard before in my entire life.

And I was just blown away by those lyrics. I was really blown away by his lyrics and how people were saying things that I wasn't paying attention to back then, I just wasn't, , it wasn't me. And I thought about that the other day too. And thought maybe it definitely is me trying to, I guess assimilate, you know, Like those messages were denial for me because (A), I partly, it wasn't my experience or perhaps it wasn't an experience that I saw.

It's been fun to go back and also to listen to that playlist too. Cause there's some great struggle songs and  people were dropping knowledge back in the nineties. So this was one of them

Tamu: you mean on my playlist [00:42:00] that I made?

Aaron: yes. Yeah. What are you shocked?  The protests playlist. I actually added Nicole Renee to our podcast playlist.

Tamu: To the Revolt! Playlist.

Aaron: Oh, you know what we should do. We should create a throwback I'll take it out of there. Although it's still a revolt song.

Tamu: you can leave it in there.

Aaron: I noticed there wasn't any Mariah Carey on your revolt playlist. Just FYI,

Tamu: Mariah Carey is not a protest

Aaron: Shake it Off.

Tamu: can make your own

Aaron: Let me find another one.

Now. Let me find another Mariah protest song. Caution. that's 2020 Caution, proceed with caution don't make me wait. That's a threat right there. That's revolt. Okay. I can see you still not in it. Okay. Let me go back

Tamu: I'm not saying there's a place for Mariah

Aaron: Make it Last. Make it Last..

 Nas Remix Rainbow album. That was thugged out that's some revolt shit right there. Can I add it?

Tamu: No. [00:43:00] No,

Aaron: I will make my own Mariah Carey playlist.

Mariah called me girl so upset right now. I can't even move on this. Let me look real

Tamu: Oh my God.

Aaron: This is some bullshit. America,

Tamu: Should we just tell people that we've made a playlist on

Aaron: Anytime You Need a Friend,

Tamu: It's not. Do you get, what

Aaron: I'm sorry, but I looked at our revolt playlist and there were some songs that were not revolt songs.

Tamu: are they angry? Sounding? Okay,

Aaron: Obsessed. That's an angry song.

Tamu: no, sweetie, again, it's okay. There is a place Mariah. She just is one of those people that I'm going to sit there and thump to when I need to get myself pumped out of a bad spot in my

Aaron: So I'm going to add, I Know What You Want by Busta Rhymes to the revolt list. Cause that's, that's like angry. She's like, baby, forgive it too. Which what she saying is white folks. If you give it to me, I give it to you. As long as you're going,

Tamu: that at all. It's not, but that's, there's a place for [00:44:00] that and it's okay. It's just not that playlist.

Aaron: Is it? I've tried

Tamu: No, sweetie. It's okay.

Aaron: Touch My Body. No, that's definitely not a revolt with song.

Tamu: No, it's okay. Can we move on past this now? Thanks.

Aaron: What's next. I just threw my phone is Tam, but you know what? I'm going to move on from it. Okay. Because we know that can I just say one thing about Mariah Carey? Just one thing. Okay, here we go. Miley Cyrus was quoted as saying that she wasn't a fan of Mariah Carey because Mariah Carey is all about Mariah Carey. So first of all, bitch, let me just tell you this.

First of all. Mariah Carey did not grow up in money. First of all. Okay. She didn't grow up with a, with a spoon in her mouth to be able to like, [00:45:00] be able to craft her person or whoever she is. And quite frankly, Miley Cyrus's music is all about Miley Cyrus. Okay. So there's that. Lastly, what I want to say to you is until you have the struggle of being a black woman in this world, you will never understand why it's so important for Mariah Carey to be Mariah Carey, because she can finally be Mariah Carey because white people kept trying to keep her in the white world when she was in both worlds.

Now I really don't go off on little girls, but I'm done.

I'm sorry. I just needed to get that out.

Tamu: this has taken a turn.

Aaron: I'm done.

Tamu: Well, on that note, should we wrap it up?

Aaron: up.

Tamu: Would you like to do some housekeeping now? You have to add the Spotify

Aaron: I know. Holy fucking shit. So guys, , we now have a link tree with all this shit. I'm about to spout out.  We're on Instagram @whenthebillcomesdue, link is in our bio. It's a [00:46:00] link tree. It'll take you to our most recent episode. It'll take you to our brand newly created Spotify protest playlist, which is called Revolt on Spotify.

There's a direct link there within Spotify. Check us out. maybe tell us some of your favorite songs we'd love to hear, right? follow us on Tik Tok. I said Instagram, right? I did. Right. Okay. So follow us on Tik TOK @whenthebillcomesdue. send us comments [email protected] like, subscribe, comment, and share our podcast.

No one will hear this great shit. If you don't share it.  And we'd love to hear from you. So please comment wherever you podcast. Cause we are everywhere. Did I get it all sis? How proud are you?

Tamu: job. I am 1000000% proud

Aaron: So full of shit. I could see your pride when I was talking about Mariah though. You didn't expect that. And it's been a while since we've referenced.

Tamu: but it hasn't been a while since you mentioned her. [00:47:00]

Sorry, Alison. Anyway.

Aaron: bad. One, by the way, I'm just going to say that. Wow.

Tamu:  Stay calm, stay cool. Take care of yourself, practice self-care and these very hard times make sure that you are doing what you need to do in these very, very dire and dark, dark, dark, dark times that we're living in.

Mask up, keep your social, distancing up still a thing, regardless of whether or not you're vaccinated. And we will see you on the flip side. It's going to be two weeks this time.

Aaron: Although Do they really know our schedule? 

Y'all see us when y'all see us.

Tamu: and with that, we're out.