When the Bill Comes Due

Ep 21: Going In Circles - Part 1

August 25, 2021 Aaron & Tamu Season 1 Episode 21
When the Bill Comes Due
Ep 21: Going In Circles - Part 1
Show Notes Transcript

What the hell is a microaggression?  Come through and find out! In part one of the season 1 finale,  Aaron  talks about the challenges of taking the high road in micro-aggressive spaces (aka WORK). 
See y’all…this is what happens when Aaron and Tamu  are doing too much in life  -  come through for this piping hot tea!  


Tamu: [00:00:00] welcome to When the Bill Comes Due I'm Tamu.

Aaron: Hey, y'all I'm Aaron back from some technical motherfucking difficulties.

Tamu: Aaron's been having a little bit of a moment for the last 15 minutes, 

Aaron: You know what it is, what it is. What's good, girl.

Tamu: striving and survive and thrive in? surviving, whatever.

Aaron: the phrase 

Tamu: I don't know,

Aaron: survive

Tamu: thriving and surviving, right? 

Aaron: [00:01:00] what the hell does that mean?

Tamu: Striving and surviving sounded better for me. 

It's been a month. 

Aaron: How have things been? I won't bore our listeners with my family issues. As I call them WPP problems we just got back from a really shit tastic vacation. but you know what we're alive and the Delta virus is just thriving in the world who could ask for anything more

Tamu: I did see that Maine is like 95% of the population vaccinate and that's awesome. 

Aaron: shout out. I guess we have that going for us, but we also have a tourist population. Right. So I, again, always say America's on the fucking honor system, which has never worked for America, like ever. And again, here we are, and I don't know, phase 937, or what did they call these things?

Outbreak or surge number 937. We were supposed to go, visit some [00:02:00] folks in New York and in DC. And at the last minute we canceled because driving south feels like driving into the belly of the beast to some degree. we ended up, hanging out in Providence for a couple of days until our dogs were complete assholes and we decided to just go home.

I wasn't working. That was the best part about it is I wasn't working, but it's been hot. It's been a lot about the weather and like global warming and this world is a mess. I can't even talk about Afghanistan right now, but this world is a mess.

Tamu: Let me tell you what it's heartbreaking just to see what's going on there. Let's be real America gonna fuck these people over, just like they fuck people over all the time. And it's just heartbreaking to watch, I don't think that we as Americans really understand the privilege that we have, that we've never had to be worried about, having to evacuate a place.

I mean Yes. in terms of a natural disaster, but evacuated place because of invasion and to try to move [00:03:00] yourself to safety, for fear of someone killing you, we don't have that perspective at all. to understand that level of fear and that level of just absolute despair. 

Aaron: I would argue our ancestors. They know

Tamu: yes, but I mean, as I said, Americans, 

Aaron: facts. 

Tamu: They don't understand that I would include myself in that not having that experience, but I empathize completely, and it just breaks my heart to see, and the fact that this could have been done better.

 The fact that we're leaving that's irrelevant to me, but the fact that this wasn't done properly, is really awful. You could have just taken a few extra months to make sure you got your shit shored up. I wonder if the Biden group really didn't or they must have really underestimated how deep the roots and the tentacles of this previous organization were in terms of making every piece of this country into a piece of shit. 

Aaron: I definitely got a sense, like I didn't watch the whole interview, but I've seen snippets of it. Uncle Joe was [00:04:00] struggling. He was on the struggle bus through a lot of that interview. I am not trying to make excuses for him, but there's a lot of shit going on right.

In particular COVID right. And now Delta and the economy and all these other things. I just think it was something that was on the side of their desk and they're just like, you know what? Yep. This is going to happen. And it'll be just simple and whatever, and it didn't turn into that. I've just been really paralyzed to even know how to respond or to feel about it because it's exactly what you say.

Like you just see these kids and especially the women. I saw something, I think on CBS where they were talking about the fact that, 20 years ago, women, didn't have any education. The groundwork has been laid, it didn't hit me actually until Saturday or Sunday. The overall impact and trauma to folks talking about retraumatization, all the soldiers and the helplines. And just 20 years of all of this. And my father is a Vietnam vet. Right. That was another war that shouldn't have been.

 He has not fared well. And [00:05:00] we, as a country have never taken care of our veterans. Like we should, especially our black veterans or veterans of color. It's probably deeply troubling for them more so than me I can't even begin to imagine whatever they saw, whatever they experienced and the fact that, we've sacrificed lives to watch it all come crumbling down, which I don't think anybody intended that to happen, but again, poor planning, stupid planning, brown people that don't matter.

Let's just put that out there or, ethnic folks or religions that are not the mainstream, rid them of the world. Let's be honest. Cause people think like that.

I think this shitty context, I get really frustrated because we're always trying to save somebody else.

we have folks living in poverty I was just talking to my friends at a happy hour about the fact that we have homeless people just hanging out during a pandemic. People can't get basic fucking needs met, but here we are throwing. And I [00:06:00] just read too, they threw 500 million into this effort.

But again, we can't even take care of our own people. I say that and also say that. We should take care of other folks. Right. But when your own population of people, when people that are legit Americans, can't get a plane ride to wherever they need to go for a better life. That's problematic.

Big time problematic.

Tamu: 100% agree, but you know, war makes money allegedly. 

Aaron: Right? It's a business. Ask what's his name? Halliburton Cheney. 

Tamu: They are hella rich.

Which is disgusting. It's just awful, to see those people struggling and expecting Americans to live up to their promise, which is so sad that they believe that because that's not the truth at all. They did the same thing to the Kurds who were fighting in Syria. They pulled out and they're like, well, sorry guys. Oh, well. And they left them to die or, and whatever else happened to them and sealed their fate because you [00:07:00] banned refugees and fighters from coming here, they'd stop giving them support. They stopped doing the things that they said they were going to do.

And that was under Trump. I'm not expecting a different outcome here. I'm expecting it to be like, well, you know, we tried, 

oh, well, 

Aaron: I mean like people I'll say it again, ethnic people, people of color, people that believe differently than Americans or worship differently than Americans. Like just different of what it has been defined as an American. it's by the wayside, look at Haiti, 

I don't want to equate it to like what we saw last summer, but again, it's the same thing. Folks are seeing this on the TV and they're like, oh, that's not in my backyard. We're okay. I'm even guilty of that. Like, Ooh, I'm an American, of course, but I don't know, a lot of the world's problems are really coming into focus right now for some reason.

And it is very overwhelming I don't even know that we've really learned anything from this, from all of this, honestly, we're going to do the same shit.

Tamu: We're going to keep just repeating history and not getting anywhere, which is an [00:08:00] unfortunate situation because it's getting way worse. It's not getting any better. And the potential of what can happen. Especially the census came out. I don't know if you heard about it, but white people are now not the majority.

so you know, they going to keep going ape shit 

 Should we get into our, uh, I don't know What I need to figure out a new entitled, like current events or like,

Aaron: What is that? What do you normally say? 

Tamu: Great moments 

Aaron: Great moments in way history. What they done did now?

Tamu: I think it was from like Chappelle show or something where they did great moments in black history.

Or maybe I don't remember where I got it from, but great moments in white history. let's talk about the fact that suddenly all of these celebrities are coming up and saying that, you know, they don't wash themselves or their kids as often as they probably should in a regular society, we've had Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis say that they didn't really bathe their kids when they were younger and they don't necessarily focus on that for [00:09:00] themselves.

And then we've had Kristen Bell from Frozen for those people who don't know who the hell she is or Gossip Girl, 

Aaron: No, 

Tamu: other show that 

Aaron: Veronica. Mars was never on 

Tamu: Veronica Mars. Thank you for Veronica Mars. saying that they realize. That their kids were dirty after a couple of weeks or whatever, once they started smelling them.

And then you had, Jake Gyllenhaal talking about he don't bathe, it's not that big of a deal. 

Aaron: Can I just stop you there please? Cause you said Jake Gyllenhaal and like the ball must just hit me right in my nose girl, like, oh, I was like, that's okay, Jake do what you need to do. 

Tamu: Huh? 

Aaron: Once you get there and it's rancid booty ass smelling, but just the thought of musty Jake Gyllenhaal

I don't know. It's kind of hot anyway. Continue. This must be my gay fantasy is Brokeback Mountain. 

Tamu: That's fair for you to have, but in reality, 

Aaron: a nice scent. When you said that I just needed to stop you. Cause I mmmm the vapors.

Tamu: legit, the vapers nasty ass [00:10:00] vapors. Yeah. 

Aaron: Oh my God. What's wrong with me? Jesus.

Tamu: Yeah. I'm sure we're all wondering that right now. 

Aaron: You know what, whatever. Continue.

Tamu: I'm thinking we live in predominantly and primarily white spaces. To our listeners who are, non melanated folks, I, in no way mean this disrespectfully, but have you picked up any of the white culture aspects of hygiene?

Let's say. 

Aaron: so this is really tough for me because obviously I'm married to white man. I don't know, when I saw these stories about like kids and not bathing, I mean, we've done every other day with our kids. We may have forgotten track. We have six, and I would say maybe two of them , independently will hygiene themselves.

So I dunno, I grew up in a you get up, you take a shower, you get your shit done. Right. And my husband is that way too. He wakes up and he cannot move on with his day without a shower. But with our [00:11:00] children, I feel like after, when we had our twins, I was just like, fuck, I'm fucking tired.

And they don't stink. So we would go every other night. we still do every other night. I think the twins switched over maybe at nine, because they started to stank for real, for real. It's really funny because my kids, as you know, are melanated and they have some melanation in them, but they are also white.

And obviously I'm black and their father is white, but they protest baths. Like no one I've ever seen before. I remember me as a young Negro child, never protesting and to take a bath cause bitch, I want it to be clean, but these children, I just don't know, I don't feel like I've adopted any sort of, , hygiene things.

I do often yell out cultural differences to my husband sometimes. I'll give you an example. We'll be in the kitchen cooking dinner. I'm just insanely crazy about washing hands, especially now. [00:12:00] He'll grill, right. And he'll open the door, mess with the grill, come back in and then try and help me with a salad and I'm like stop sign, wash your hands. He's like, I washed my hands before I went outside and I'm like, will you wash your hands? We touched the door. You went out to the grill, you just the door to come back in the house, wash your hands. He's like, oh, okay. So there is that.

 I can't really say that there's not any like thing that I've adopted. It's really interesting I've been with this white man for 18 years and I can't even say that we had an awkward moment of like, oh my God, you don't wipe your ass when you poop? 

He's hygienic. He's dated other melanated folks. So perhaps it has something to do with though. Like they set them straight. I have no idea, but I would just say the weirdest thing is just washing hands. that's the biggest thing for me is washing hands, 

Tamu: I mean, you're doing every other day and I feel like that's okay. Especially in the winter time 

Aaron: But black people don't do that. You bathe every night. Well, I mean, if it's the summertime maybe, I feel like I grew up that you take a bath every night. Black people [00:13:00] probably killing the world. God damn it. I can't even believe I'm saying this out loud.

Tamu: we're doing it. Right. Cause we spent a lot of time not being able to bathe I guess. 

Aaron: we don't even have time on this show to even go down that rabbit hole, but facts, facts, facts on facts.

Tamu: Especially during this time period of the pandemic and my work-a-ppression and all the other things that were going on with me, they will be points in time where I'd be like, bitch, it's been three weeks. You need to get your ass in the 

Aaron: Oh my God. Three weeks. 

Tamu: can I finish that? Does it mean that I'm not like washing my face?

Brushing my teeth and taking care of my.

pits and slips. Right. They call it doing Whore's Bath. And I just call it pits and slits, especially in the winter time. I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. Ain't nobody see me. I don't give a shit I'm whatever. But when I do take a shower, I'm sitting up here and I'm scrubbing myself with my loofa gloves, at least for as many weeks.

Right? So if it's three times, three times, I'm [00:14:00] scrubbing, I'm scrubbing every inch of me off and having everything slough off of me for that amount of time, I will say that now that things have gotten better in my world, I have taken up a better regimen in terms of, my showering and everything, because I feel better about myself and better about life.

 But yes, I am a shower-er I shower, on a regular, non pandemic. Tamu was showering every day and all that stuff 

Aaron: We've talked about, I think we talked about this probably the last episode but certainly that was me. Like, it's just take a shower today, you know?

Tamu: If you can just get your ass in the bathtub, we will be proud of ourselves. It's been tough. Yeah.

Aaron: tough.

Tamu: I don't think that this is what they're talking about. This is they shit on a 

Aaron: Right. This is the regular, yeah. 

Tamu: that's different. I still wonder then, when they do bathe and stuff, , are they like scrubbing their bodies and getting that nasty ish off?

Or are they just doing the regular, taking a soap bar and rubbing it on your body. Like we see on [00:15:00] TV for white people that they do, you know, Taylor swift doesn't go past her legs or she just shaves her legs, but doesn't like wash them. I don't know. 

Aaron: I'm so sorry. What about Taylor swift? 

Tamu: Where have you been bitch? 

Aaron: of all, I don't follow that bitch for obvious reasons, but anyway.

Tamu: she had said something about like she doesn't wash her legs, she will just shave them. And that cleans them. This was a couple of years ago. Taylor swift kind of precipitated all of this new stuff. That's been 

Aaron: Of course, of course.

Tamu: of the whites not doing the things that they need to do.

So the one thing I will say that I do differently is lotion I don't know if this is the same with Rich. When I wash my hands, every time I washed my hands, I put lotion on my hands. The people in my home don't do that. They don't lotion up themselves.

And then they complain about how their hands are dry and chafed and chapped. And I'm like, did you put lotion on after you wash your hands? No, because it's too greasy and I'm like, who gives it? 

Aaron: Uh,

Tamu: Okay. [00:16:00] You will not see me not lotion my hands, my skin at any point in 

Aaron: has offered me lotion y'all she has offered me lotion, when you said this, I instantly thought of when we had our twins and our twins, they're black, like full on black children. I don't know, Rich just got on the black bus. I don't understand because we would buy cocoa butter by the buckets and he would be rubbing it on.

 He's like, this is nice. So yes, we've had these moments where like he'll wash his face. I always say, he's going to leave me for a white woman. He is a closeted straight man.

I swear to God. just like a boy, like he doesn't moisturize. He's just not you're gay, which, I'm not into stereotypes anyway. But we do love a good moisturizer as homosexuals and black folks in particular. He gets up and washes and I've tried to incorporate things in his repertoire that will save his skin.

Like this will keep you from wrinkling black don't crack honey Neutrogena, you know, everything, but it's been a struggle bus, but he hopped on [00:17:00] board with that cocoa butter. He was slathering them black children up. I was like, this, this is my daddy right here.

Tamu: Yeah, maybe it's because he knew he was like, oh, black people, cocoa butter, 

Aaron: Right. Somebody must have taught him.

Tamu: gotta get that Palmer's or that queen Helene, 

Aaron: Yes.

Tamu: Does he just dry off and put on clothes, 

Aaron: tries off and put on, puts on clothes. I think he does now moisturize his face. I've been trying to explain to him like you're in the sun, honey, and you're white and this is how you keep it. Right. Keep it tight, sweetie. But yeah. 

Tamu: whole body has to be smooth and not 

Aaron: You know?

His skin just feels so different from mine. And I'm like this bitch, ain't lotion a day in his life and it's soft as fuck. And he's in his fifties now.

I have moments where I'm like, bitch, I'm not lotion in the day because I'm just fucking tired of it. Like I will skip lotioning. And unfortunately I have forgotten about that and walked out the doors and my flip flops, just 

Tamu: Ashy as fuck.. 

Aaron: White as fuck like D R [00:18:00] Y I was like, Ugh, nobody gonna tell me I had some ashy ass feet when I walked out of here.

He uses the bar soap mostly. Sometimes the loofa, but like, it's just really soft and it just doesn't feel like my skin. Then he also says my skin feels soft and supple too, but I also don't feel that I feel like, oh, my skin's dry.

I feel like my skin is dry and rough. 

Tamu: If you don't put lotion on that day, 

Aaron: Listen, I lotion most days, just so you know, 

I'll add oil to my lotion.

Tamu: I'm okay with that. Well, I'm just under, I don't understand why you would never, 

Aaron: pandemic. Yeah. 

Tamu: Okay. I got you. That makes sense then. 

Aaron: A bitch just washing the dirt off basically and hop it back in bed.

Tamu: Oh, that's so interesting

Aaron: he don't lotion. I tried, I tried, but you know what? He got that good German skin. So 

Tamu: for now. 

Aaron: You're going to wrinkle up, like a prune, as long as the Dick work, girl.

Tamu: I don't want to know if that's moist. 

Aaron: Oh my God. Who goes there? Oh my God, [00:19:00] Becky. 

I need to tell you that my 15 year old son, confessed to me, a couple of weeks ago, he's like, I've been listening to your podcast and it's not bad. I was like, oh, thanks, boo. I was like, oh my God! We have a teen following that was for you, Alison.

Tamu: Hey booboo. Thanks for listening. It's bad. What a great look. Listen, we need put it's not bad.

As one of our reviews. 

Aaron: he might've said it doesn't suck or it's not. I can't remember, but I was like, oh, okay, But instantly I was like, oh my God, what have I said, what the fuck did I say? 

I want to mention that my 15 year old boy and I'm sure all of his legions of fans are following us around the world.

Hello babies. 

Tamu: Go to bed. Cause it's late. 

Aaron: We fittin to start cussin. That's my, that is my thing. Now with my family, I don't know what it is Tamu, but like [00:20:00] I have turned into this black mother. I don't, I have no idea where it's coming from. I literally will tell my kids something like y'all better.

Get it. or I'mma start cussing. Like I'm announcing what's about to happen.

Tamu: Medea what's going on. 

Aaron: And I was like, oh my God, what is happening right now? 

Tamu: Don't make me put my foot up your ass. 

Aaron: I'm just like all these clever little black lines that are coming out, oh my God. So I'm totally on a tangent now, but like Miss Pat on BET+ have you heard about this? Tam's we got to watch it. We got to watch it. For me, it's like a very unpolished Blackish.

Like you get the real shit 

It's really funny. And just really real, I can relate to a lot of the dialogue that was happening there and it was just really raw and just black. It was black and it was unapologetically black. There's lots of really great, art that's coming out that just says, these are black people.

This is our daily life. This is what happens, you know? I think [00:21:00] she's been influencing me. Hey, Ms. Pat. I love you, girl..

Tamu: All right. So the next thing, Fox news telling people to take horse dewormer to battle the COVID.

 Apparently calls to poison control centers in Mississippi are on the rise due to individuals ingesting the drug, which is commonly used to eradicate and prevent parasites in livestock because the jackass is on Fox news said, so. This is like the bleach thing all over again. This was like the, other thing forget what it was, the fish, some fish food thing that some dumb ass died from, because they took that because Trump said that that would work.

Aaron: They're fucking with people's lives for money, I never got Fox anyway, because Fox has this whole like Right Wing diatribe every night. But they're the same network that hosted Glee and has all these other gay characters in Pose was on FX that's Fox.

And I'm just like, you guys are exploiting people to make [00:22:00] money. How can you as a corporation exists and have these beliefs, right. You would assume that all of Fox is like this, right? You have programs catered to this across your platforms.

Right. But no, that is not the case. Glee was on there. All those, you know. 

Tamu: And let's be real. All the people who are telling these people don't take a vaccine are vaccinated. I don't know why they think that that's not the case.

They're fucking vaccinated. Tucker Carlson's vaccinated. 

Aaron: he sure is. He was one of 

Tamu: Sean Hannity, it's an accelerated, Laura Ingram is vaccinated. They all have to be vaccinated to keep their jobs that just was out on Twitter this past week was, which was like the regulations that Fox has that they have to declare the vaccination status.


Aaron: What do you think about that? The only thing we can go back to as far as anything close to a pandemic, I would say an epidemic was the HIV AIDS. Right. And how much of a leprosy campaign that was for gay people. [00:23:00] In particular black people, as it rolled on, et cetera, it's just like crazy.

 Now we're having to show our, vaccination status or our COVID status. And it's like, wow, the lines are really blurry here. Like, COVID is cool. AIDS is fucking evil, you know,

Tamu: it's not that 

Aaron: That's what I'm saying. The culture is more, maybe that's a progression too

I guess it's because I say this it's affecting white people. Number one, AIDS only got its attention because gay white men were dying, you know? So like when it affects white people, then it gets, gets a voice. It gets legs to run. And I think COVID is that way, 

it's just an interesting dynamic that we're so open, I don't even want to say open, but the level of PHI and personal information that we're now divulging about. Whether we have COVID, whether we were vaccinated, it's just, it's different. 

Tamu: I dunno. I don't equate it in the same way as I would. Would equate HIV and AIDS. I would say this is more of [00:24:00] like measles, mumps, rubella. I would say this is more like polio these are things that need to be eradicated in order to have society move forward.

The fact that people are now not vaccinating their children against measles, mumps, and rubella has brought back a disease that has been eradicated from our fucking society because it's people now believe that this is giving their kids autism, which is not probably a hundred percent 

Aaron: Hmm,

Tamu: Polio, disfigured, and killed so many people.

They, made this vaccine mandatory you and I have had these vaccinations. We have had to demonstrate the fact that we've had these vaccinations 

Aaron: have

Tamu: because you can't go to school without them. We can't go to college without 

Aaron: you're right? Yeah. 

Tamu: You know what I mean? The problem is that because people are so I don't even know anymore what to say about them, but it didn't have to be the way that it is.

, we have to now disclose the fact that we are [00:25:00] vaccinated or whatever, if they just did the things that they needed to do. it could have just been a thing that you check off, right? Like when you get a tetanus shot, every 10 years you get a tetanus shot, you're not bitching about a tetanus shot.

 Are things that have to happen, in order to make sure that you're protected against whatever's coming at you in this world. Why this is different. Fuck. If 

Aaron: Donald trump

that's why 

Tamu: but not only because, I have this problem within my own family where I'm consistently hearing and listening to the, back and forth about yeah. But, and, because it's not FDA approved from some people. in my family or because I don't trust doctors or, I just have to not bring the fear into the thing And do this as a result of fear.

But I feel like these same people are vaccinated from polio are vaccinated from measles, mumps, and rubella are vaccinated they have tetanus shots, they're vaccinated from these things already. 

Aaron: take weed off of the street from booboo around the corner. Don't know where it came from. [00:26:00] I'm 

Tamu: It's just strange to me that this has becomes such a problem when it didn't have to be. that's, I think where the difference lies in my 

Aaron: great. No, I 

Tamu: this doesn't need to be this way. Like, we don't need to make this another AIDS.

This is something that there's a vaccine for. We don't have an AIDS vaccine, even though I just saw Moderna trying to launch vaccine testing for HIV or for AIDS. I don't understand where all of this stuff has swirling from. I think Facebook is a really bad culprit for this. A lot of obviously misinformation, disinformation coming from all sides, but also , you know, what's Right, like in your guts, you know, what's right.

It's very distressing. And like I said, it is a fight. I fight on a daily fucking basis, but then there comes a point where I have to be like, you know what, 

Aaron: It is what it is. 

Tamu: choose. 

Aaron: I was just talking about this with my friends. I was like, we all did the right thing. We went out, we got vaccinated, we masked up. It's inconvenient. I can't count on me fucking times. I've been [00:27:00] somewhere. And I don't have a fucking mask, I've made it like my daily incorporation.

I have six kids. So like, it's a whole thing to get 

Tamu: why don't you have masks in your car? 

Aaron: It's been incredibly inconvenient we can squarely blame what's happening now on people that are not getting vaccinated for whatever reason. And I respect those who have concerns about it.

I don't understand like in Texas and I am from Texas, and I'm just incredibly embarrassed to even say that out loud because that man is killing people. they're making a mask, a political statement, and our children are in the crossfire and they don't need to be.

It's just a stupid, it is the stupidest thing. I respect everyone's choice. You're absolutely right. You definitely can choose whatever control your children for lack of a better term. But this is our public health. People are fucking dying 

this is America and our children, our educators are always at the bottom of the fucking totem pole [00:28:00] funding. What's the first thing to go school programs. Why the fuck are children? The future of this country? Not a priority. Why?

Tamu: That's the $64,000 question 

Aaron: Yeah. 

Tamu: I age myself. 

Aaron: nice.

Tamu: we can parlay that into gun control and the whole nine yards, right? You have babies getting murdered in Sandy Hook and nobody gave a fuck about it. I feel like once you realize that that was the case, you should realize that your government does not give a shit about you or your kids. 

Aaron: But that wasn't enough. It's just, it just, it baffles me it tells you populations, people, you do not matter. Right. Unless you have something to offer to us, unless there's a financial gain by saving youyou do not matter. And it's, it's told to us time and time again, like our education system, it does not matter.

People are like, oh my God, you need to go to college and blah, blah, blah. We're not investing in our children. We're not investing our kids.

I'm done. I'm sorry. 

Tamu: Kids adults, teens, whatever. We're not investing in anybody. We're not investing in the people that [00:29:00] are here to give them a leg up and a better shot to move forward. 

Aaron: Right. It's not even. 

Not even at all.

Tamu: I guess we're on a good trajectory to talk about. Only fans 

Aaron: Everything must go mother fucker

Tamu: apparently only fans is, 

Aaron: a liquidation sale. Yes,

Tamu: banning their pornography, which was the whole point of only fans. I thought, 

Aaron: yes. 

Tamu: I'm going to make a disclaimer right now to everyone that I had no idea what Only Fans was, I had to Google at one time I'm like, what's Only Fans thing that everybody's talking about on the Instagrams.

Let me, Google

Aaron: me, do not say the Instagram's girl. No,

Tamu: It wasn't recently. This was a few months ago, when the pandemic hit and Only Fans was popping up 

Aaron: like Savage, Beyonce, Meg, Meg, the stallion. That was like, oh, that's when it really popped off in [00:30:00] awareness for me. I was like, oh, only 

Tamu: I was reading an article about some folks on the, New York magazine. They were talking to some creators of like Only Fans content. There's a new site that they're trying to load content to called Just For Fans. But these people were making a lot of money on Only Fans, sex workers were.

And I 

Aaron: please don't call them sex workers. Are they really sex 

Tamu: I supposed to call them? What am I calling them? 

Aaron: fanners. I mean, 

Tamu: No, no, 

Aaron: don't ask me how I know this, but I mean, some of them are doing those things, working for cash money, but like 

Tamu: Yeah. That's, 

Aaron: no sex 

Tamu: that's the, 

Aaron: a strong statement.

Tamu: they are, they do this work. That's the work that they do. you know, I'm not going to call them porn actors or whatever, because I feel like that's derogatory, but 

Aaron: Amateur porn.

Tamu: I don't know about that. Some of these people are professionals. You know, they've been doing this for a long time and they're like, whoa, I was [00:31:00] making $11,000 a month to support myself and my three siblings.

 One person they interviewed was saying, I've been thinking about starting a line of merch from my fans. So when I saw the tweets about Only Fans , removing, sexually explicit stuff from the site, I felt like something was being yanked from my life. It's kind of a shock and I'm very hurt.

The company was so pro sex work and gave us freedom to post whatever we wanted. And they turned their back on us. So yes, sex workers, 

Aaron: It's a heavy word sex 

Tamu: it's not porn stars, which I feel is worse. 

Aaron: right? Is it?

 I did hear this, it's very confusing, whatever they're trying to do, but mainly they're cleaning up, but it doesn't sound like they're really cleaning up according to the new policies so that, other people can advertise, they're trying to make themselves look attractive.

The same with Tik Tok.

I remember when Tik Tok was gonna get shut down and people were like, oh my God, I've gotten to buy a house for my family or whatever. I have mixed emotions about Only Fans because, [00:32:00] to some degree. Is a little exploitative,

 To each his own. I hate for, kids to get caught up in it. Right. And I am a free market kind of bitch. But, people can get exploited in those avenues. We used to go to the saloon in Minneapolis. . And the shower, my husband would cringe every time we walked in there because it was just these kids, and it's true.

 These children are like taking their clothes off and dancing in a shower for dollars for dirty old men. Essentially. I tipped well. Um,

Tamu: I was about to say I was with you. 

Aaron: It's just a tough road to go down. Because people have built their livelihoods around social media. And could you make it work? Yes. But like everything else, I think it comes to a screeching halt at some point, there's too much saturation in the market and they have to find a new job, a real job.

Tamu: I don't think so. I think that sex work is a valid profession. If that's what 

Aaron: I need you to stop saying sex work. It's just.

Tamu: legal. That's what it is. 

And I think that it should, [00:33:00] be more normalized

Aaron: I agree.

Tamu: From what I'm seeing, it looks like visa and MasterCard don't want to do transactions based off of this type of work within Only Fans.

They did. This was porn hub as well, where they were trying to do that to make it look better. But I mean, at the end of the day, whatever makes these corporations money, they're going to fucking do it. I hope that then these people will still be able to do the things that they were doing because in this article people are like, listen, I have fibromyalgia. I don't want to get back on the pole. I don't want to do these things. It's nice to be in my home and to triple or, make 10 times my income. I don't feel like this is wrong. Like if people are willing to pay for it and people aren't bitching about it, we haven't heard any sort of scandals with Only Fans. So leave it alone. 

Aaron: Like everything 

Tamu: doing real jobs, legit jobs, jobs we don't want to do because their job jobs blow jobs, hand [00:34:00] jobs, rim jobs, 

Aaron: No, I should've interrupted. I knew you were going to take it there. God damn.

Tamu: worst jobs. 

Aaron: I don't mind going downtown. As long as the streets are clean darlin. Yeah,

Tamu: it's a lot of work. And the people doing the only fans know how to keep it right. 

Aaron: I think that's the irony about America, right? In a free society, there's such regulation. nobody complains until frankly the government or whatever, see an opportunity to get money.

Like , hello. Marijuana is going to be legal probably soon in America because they're making money. They're making money. I believe it 

Last year it was on the news. They said during the pandemic, which, maybe this isn't, real time, but like they made over a hundred million dollars in three to five months.

It's a serious industry and the feds ain't gonna stay off of that for long that's cash money right there. [00:35:00] Watch

Tamu: I understand what you're saying, but they still haven't made illegal within the federal government. That's the problem. 

Aaron: Joe, to do it, Joe, you better do it better. Pardon? Some weed,

Tamu: Joe is was busy doing, I don't know. What's he's 

Aaron: Pulling the plug on shit. He couldn't have pull, shouldn't have pulled the plug and like, I just knew they were going to go crazy. Just not this fast. 

Tamu: Not getting enough people involved in certain aspects of life. I don't know, hire more people, Joe. Let's move on to another, "O" the Olympics. We did not get to have this conversation during the Olympics, but a lot happened in terms of black athletes taking control of their narratives and taking control of their mental health and making sure that they don't die, just so that we could sit in the stands and clap for them and then say, oh, you didn't make it.

Why you're so stupid and terrible and an awful human. And you shouldn't be an American AKA Simone Biles who decided to, pull out of the all arounds for the most part. [00:36:00] And most of the individual events in gymnastics for her own mental health because, we've been pressuring her so goddamn much that she probably needed a minute to get her shit together. They won the silver? they won a bronze, she won a bronze and her exiting allowed Suni to win, allowed that other white lady to win. I'll find her name. 

Aaron: Wow.

Tamu: Suni Lee is from here. Yay. Suni 

Aaron: She's from St. Paul, right? 

Tamu: She's a Hmong lady from St. Paul. 

Aaron: Man, Naomi Osaka. Like the more I learn about her, I was watching this documentary, I think it's on Netflix too. 

When I see her, to me, she just looks sad all the time. She looks sad, but I think it's also her temperament, but being inside of her head and that documentary and just all the fucking pressure that existed. And then to realize your dream of beating your idol and having been booed.

And it, wasn't your [00:37:00] dream experience, right? That fucks you up. I just love that, she doesn't give a fuck about anything. She's just like, you know, what, take care of number one. It just so resonated with me, especially this year.

Having gone through my own level of, I don't know, my low grade depression and anxiety, it's important. I have many times gotten up to and just like, I can't do it. I have anxiety through the roof or I'm just not feeling it today. And we're not allowed to take a break.

And a lot of us who are working from home have been working from home a lot. I don't know that I said it on air, but I say it all the time to people that I don't believe that corporations are recognizing. How incredibly complex it is to be at home and deal with children or deal with taking care of a loved one or fucking beings anxious about getting COVID.

Hello. I mean, there's a [00:38:00] lot, there's a lot of anxiety. That's not acknowledged by our companies. Everybody's like, oh yeah, we're able to work from home and be productive. And we're in this, in the healthcare industry before this. and I just remember the pandemic kicked off and the email I saw was this is our time.

And I was like, no, no, no, no, that's not what I want to hear, we're looking for our leaders to lead us, and we weren't at that time, definitely not getting leadership. I say all that to say that, I really appreciate Simone Biles and Naomi and even Serena for that matter, just really stepping up to say I struggle, we all struggle.

We all have challenges. And it's a real thing. We've said it here too. That's the second pandemic that's coming. And especially for people of color, especially for people of color, cause this shit it's like nothing I've ever experienced. And it has been an anxious, depressing, stressful time.


Tamu: Jade Carey and McKayla Skinner. Those are the other white ladies who won, [00:39:00] but shout out to Sunisa Lee 

Aaron: Oh, that's the Minnesota girl. Yeah. Congrats girl. Congrats girl.

Tamu: You know, they had a fucking ticker-tape parade and all that shit on her honor before she even got here they named the fucking day after that, you know how Minnesota is?

They're like, oh my God, did you step foot here and do something great somewhere 

Aaron: There's a Minnesota connection. Ooh, someone was shot here that we have the Minnesota connection, 

Tamu: Yay. 

Aaron: I hate , these moments that people of color have in athletics and in these places where they come from, because they would have never claimed their black ass for nearly nothing ever.

If they hadn't put them on the map and then they still get treated like shit, or they're, a prop for, whatever they're trying to sell 

Tamu: My dad and I were talking about this the other day the Milwaukee Bucks won the NBA championships and 

Aaron: Oh, I love this guy. I can't think of his name, but I love him. My friend, Kelsey. She's from Wisconsin. She just loves him.

Tamu: I bet she does. [00:40:00] Um, Giannis I'm just going to say Giannis I can't pronounce his last name.

 Giannis Antetokounmpo is Greek African or African Greek or Afro Greek or whatever they call themselves. But in Greece they did not want to claim him and his family until now, because now he's an NBA champion and it's just like, you know what, Giannis

I would tell them to go fuck themselves in Greece. However, that is in Greek, tell them to go fuck themselves in Greek, because they fucking shit on your African descent family because you're black and they didn't want to have anything to do with you until you did something good.

 And that's the part about it? That sucks. What Simone went through here was disgusting. Just disgusting the way that people treated her for the fact that she's like, you know what, I'm not going to jump and flip and do whatever for you for your amusement.

I'm not fucking, show pony or whatever the fuck it is. Like I'm a human fucking being, right?

And you can go fuck yourselves. And I'm going to take care of myself and I'm going to [00:41:00] sit here and I'm going to give opportunities to these ladies. I'm going to sit in the stands and cheer them on.

And I'm going to be in the floor. I'll be the loudest voice in the room. I'm going to be cheering them on what leadership she has demonstrated and the fact that she owns what she's had to do for herself and recognize that she needed to do that for herself to make sure that she survives and then say, I'm not leaving.

I'm going to stay here with my people. And I'm going to support them through. This is amazing. 

Aaron: I think it's great that she was able to do that. Just be there and support her team. All of that is great, but also why should she have to do that?

There's a little piece of and obviously I'm speculating because I don't know her, but like she could have just gone away too. Take care of herself. But because of XYZ, whatever, the fact and maybe it's maybe there wasn't a pressure and I genuinely believe like she was there , to support her team, but I don't know that there was anything else she could have done.

It was almost like an expected you need to be there. Or like she has to take the high road to some degree, you know what I'm saying?

Tamu: I understand what you're saying?

but I just [00:42:00] don't think that she would do that. I

Aaron: I agree.

Tamu: like detrimental and she couldn't physically be there that she would've left that situation. I think that she and I think it's McKayla Skinner, who are the oldest women on that team.

They call themselves a grandma's 24 years old of their teams. being there to support them. It says so much about her character. It's just so much about the fact that she is a true leader in every sense of the word she can sit there and be like, I'm fucked up Right. now.

I'm going through whatever it is. I got My, twisties or whatever it is y'all go out here. I know that you can do this thing and I'm going to be here to support y'all and not feel a way about it. I think that's the biggest piece. It's like, she didn't feel a way about it. 

Aaron: Right.

Tamu: she was just like, go do your thing.

You're awesome. You're awesome. You're awesome. Go do this, go win this. We can do this. I think that that was important. I think if she had left, it would have probably [00:43:00] deflated those ladies and they probably wouldn't have been able to perform at the level that they were doing it, you know? And also a lot of those people, except for Jade Carey she was the only one that had a relative.

There has her dad is her coach. They're all by themselves. They're a family unit, and you take that and they splinter it off that would be really devastating, I think. And I think having her there, granted it was unfortunately irritating that the media would focus on her as opposed to the team who really stepped up and did an amazing job. 

 I think it shows a tremendous strength of character, which is obviously what black women are known for. I think she is an amazing person. I'm envious of the fact that she can be like, you know what?

I'm going to step out. Cause I'm not feeling this. Like I need to make sure I'm good. That to me is 

Aaron: Great. 

Tamu: We don't and by we, I mean, black people, we don't owe you a goddamn athletes, [00:44:00] actors, singers, you name it in the entertainment and athletic field. We don't owe you a motherfucker. We don't have to sit up here and put our lives on the line for you.

Go fuck yourselves. And I think that that is what is happening now where you're seeing Colin Kaepernick, you're seeing Naomi Osaka say, fuck that shit. You're seeing Serena be like, listen, boo. I'm out because of whatever, my baby or whatever it is. 

You're seeing more black athletes saying, guess what? 

Aaron: Hmm.

Tamu: Y'all ain't going to be the ones that going to fuck up my shit. At the end of the day, you're going to forget about me cause somebody else shinier and prettier going to come along and I'm going to have to figure out all of this by myself without support without your help, without anything.

So go fuck yourselves 

Aaron: right. 

I agree. Especially people of color. There such pressure. Such pressure. I'm pretty sure that, if the Simone Biles equivalent, which there isn't was white or non melanin and said [00:45:00] have the same statement, like, okay, good luck, 

Tamu: Take care of yourself, baby. 

Aaron: there's such a pressure black people. I think there's a culture within American society, especially like black people should just shut up and play or shut up and sing or shut up and do this. You should not have an opinion. You should not have a mental breakdown.

 Giving you this chance Blackie now get out there and do your shit. There's such pressure even in work environments you and I have talked about, the issues at work, right. Your work my work, but things that have happened, for instance, like being called out in an email and you're having to take the high road because somebody fucked up.

 I think black people all the time are just like taking the high road and in particular, this incident happened. And I just remember like leaving my work and just, it really sunk in for me. I feel like people of color it's a different type of pressure, and for every endorsement, for every black endorsement, there's, white [00:46:00] people that could, , frankly hit their wives or do Coke and get caught and still be okay.

A black person does that. Their life is over 

Tamu: okay.

You've alluded to it, so we should probably get into our, When the Bill Comes Due

it was weird for me, but I think you helped me crystallize it in terms of it being like a full circle moment. either legit full circle moment or a reverse full circle moment, because we both had experiences in the last couple of weeks that have, , either brought us to full circle or made us reverse that course, if that makes any sense. I will give you the floor, my friend.

Aaron: I guess I just said a little bit about it. I started a new job in the pandemic. I don't recommend finding a new job in the middle of a pandemic or, and a racial reckoning as it were.

At this company I really found like a community of people of color that I've never had before that I never knew I needed really. We have this group. And that was a beautiful thing about this, but the other part is, I think [00:47:00] companies are really struggling with diversity, equity and inclusion, and it's a buzz word it's sexy and they're really just trying to protect their investments.

 Having said all that, I'm sure, just like everybody around the United States, they're having these conversations now, as a response to George Floyd's death and Brianna Taylor's killing last year. So we're having these conversations, right? I've never really understood the term micro aggression until maybe a month ago until maybe a month ago and I'm like, well, what is that?

What does that mean? Have I ever been one of those people? I sent an email, bunch of people were copied on it, including a CEO and very important folks.

 Someone replied, to the effect that, some of what I provided as examples may be annoying to a different party, not fully recognizing that I had provided these examples for the team to provide input. so this was a reply, all message [00:48:00] and again, like this all goes back to black.

People have to take the high road, so many fucking times. In my head, I'm like, bitch ass trick, motherfucker. I done told you before, but let me go on and tell you again, the way I need to tell you before I cussed you the fuck out. So that's like me and my mind, but what actually happened with me replying all to say, as mentioned before, and we all know that means, fuck you X, Y, Z, blah, blah, blah.

I explained very diplomatically. So one of those folks was also my manager that was copied on this message. And she was upset about it and I, and at that point I was really, truly over it. I was just kinda like, you know what? It is, what it is, whatever it's fine.

 I'm sure we've had many of those moments, right?

My boss was all heated about it and I was like, girl, I'm good. I'm like, whatever, we just brush it off. Apparently someone said something to him.

And this person reached out replies all. And apologizes profusely, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then like I get an instant message, like, Hey, let's [00:49:00] talk, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine. I really didn't even want to fucking do it. Honestly. I was just kind of like, you know, I'm good, I'm over it.

So ended up talking and then it's just more of oh my God, are you really okay? I'd feel bad if I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. If this bothered you, of course it bothered me. Hello, who the fuck wouldn't?, fast forward to his conversation, I was really trying to get off the goddamn phone because I was like, you know what?

I am fine. Like I just moved on with it. So I left for the day and I think I was in my bathroom, getting ready to take a shower or something. And I just thought about it. And this thing came over me the biggest thing that probably bothered me the most was that if my boss or anyone hadn't pointed out to this person that, Hey, this is a Dick move that you're doing.

He would have said absolutely nothing. To add, more insult to injury in my personal opinion, because as I mentioned, there were other executives, other folks on this call, [00:50:00] not one person with the exception of my boss, Reached out to say, Hey, are you okay? And I don't say this to say, I needed it because I didn't.

But if you are a company that's wanting to be inclusive and make sure everybody is safe in an environment. quite frankly, I feel like I should have heard from my CEO to say, we do not tolerate that. Are you okay? Blah, blah, blah. But there was none of that. so that was the frustrating part is that this guy reacting to somebody telling him that it was not appropriate.

And the second part is that no one even thought anything of it, right. Like that is the culture. They were just like, oh, and God only knows who read the apology email. Right. It just really, really affected me. And in the same week, another person, on a project I was working on, she felt she had the license to just say whatever she wanted to, in front of people.

Again, I always have to be diplomatic. These are the thoughts that we have. Don't be too black, write your email three [00:51:00] times and don't sound angry. Like these are the things that we have to do. And I got to be fucking honest. I am so tired of being diplomatic.

I'm so tired of being diplomatic many times I have called people out for shit. I think I told you about last year when we bought through the Christmas tree and the woman assumed I worked there and just other things like holding a door today, this woman, we held the door for her, so she can go in and after we left, she said nothing.

I said, you're welcome. I'm so over being it's fine. I'm just so over being it's fine. It's not fine. It's not okay that you talk to people like this. It's not okay. And these people in these spaces are leaders or people of prominence, and this is how you're treating people and you don't even fucking give a shit.

You have no regard for how you're speaking to people or black people. I mean, before I even say hello to you, I'm 20 times thinking, how are you going to say hi? What is your "hi" going to be like from the animated or even if you're pissed off you can't be pissed off.

 I know I'm [00:52:00] taking up this space, but that's the other thing too. I remember getting on team calls and , I wasn't having a good day. We're in a fucking pandemic. and people are instantly like, oh my God, are you okay?

So I can't have a bad day. I'm just supposed to be Mr. Bojangles for all y'all everyday, you know, everything's fine. I'm black and slavery's gone, but we're okay. We are expected to be strong.

We're expected to do nothing. We're expected to stand there and get whipped in the back and still move on and clean that motherfuckers fields that is the ingrained, inherent culture of black people to do that. And for myself, I can no longer do that. I'm not teaching my kids anything and I'm certainly not helping my own personal mental health.

It is not okay for anybody to talk to me that way. And it's just time to let a bitch know it's a scary thing to do that, but just, as you see, like these people on these fucking planes white people are emblazoned to. Tell you how they feel, right?

 You seen countless [00:53:00] videos of people. There was a woman who walked up to a black woman's house who had like a Tigger flag. Did you see this? And she's like, it's ugly. She did everything but called her a nigger. Basically, and I was just like, people feel the audacity to be able to say, you know what your flag is shit.

Or what do you do? Are you a drug dealer? I remember someone saying that to one of my friends once are you a drug dealer? Cause they had a new car. Like we have taken on this shit time and time and time again. You are seeing a generation, a culture of people, tired of sitting down and being nice.

And I quite frankly, I'm one of those.

Tamu: so what did you do? Well, did you confront this person? 

Aaron: I let him go. I had my peace with it, I was over it at that point. Everything that affected me was after the point that I talked to him, et cetera. and then the next day was this other woman and I was just like, listen, I'm not going to do this, but you can certainly talk to me when you are in a better mood.

Was after all of this, but that incident, definitely it [00:54:00] was not anything that I confronted. And the other part is too, I guess how do you confront that? I sit here and I say, I'm going to start telling people, blah, blah, blah. But I also recognize the structure that I'm in.

And in that moment, you get caught off guard when these things happen, even though they happen all the time, you still get caught off guard. And you're a deer in headlights. That was truly my reaction to that, which is probably why, it sorta sunk in after the fact.

 For me, it was wasted energy I was already stressed out about this job anyway, as you know, and whether he gave a shit or not, he closed that chapter. And so did I, but in hindsight I don't know that I've ever experienced that ever, I try and think, and it's hard too, because, last year was just watershed moments of oh my God, I should've fucking said this about this bitch.

And when she said this or X, Y, Z. Right. And we give all those examples, like I don't like black people, but you're cool. All of these things, they sort of flood in and maybe it happened. I'm sure that it just happened to me. Maybe I'm just paying attention to it now.[00:55:00] 

, it was tangible to me and it was like a real fucking embarrassing thing to happen. 

Tamu: You couldn't just say, well, fuck it. I'm going to tell you what I'm going to tell you. You had to then weigh the consequences of that action. 

Aaron: Exactly. Exactly. And as emblazoned, as I feel, I also know that I'm a black man and I'm a minority in a very white world. Right. And, there's a way to get rid of me if they want to. So there's always that fear of retaliation, of course, but, I think as I progressed and as I become confident in who I am and the person I want to be.

In the future, definitely recognizing these moments and they're definitely teachable moments or bills coming due to a sense, that it's never okay. It's never okay that this person could do that. So flippantly and just not even realize it and that an organization which claims to stand behind you to support you, to allow you to be your best self, blah, blah, blah, did nothing.

My boss did. 

Tamu: Yeah. 

Aaron: If anything that was my [00:56:00] microaggression experience. I've never documented it as much as I did a month ago.

Tamu: What will you do differently next time you experienced something like this? 

Aaron: I feel like I'm in a job interview. 

Tamu: I'm just asking. 

Aaron: a time.

it's really hard for me because I don't, I'm not a hypothetical.

Tamu: Not for nothing Aa-Ron, you are on here preaching. like no, I'm going to.

say, what the fuck am I going to say? And this is how I'm going to say it, and this is what it is. 

Aaron: I believe that I do that. But again, I don't want to make excuses. I would like to believe that the next time this happens, I'm actually able to say, Hey bitch, I would appreciate it. If you'd not reply all. And if you got something to say to a bitch, bitch, call me, you know, I have had these instances where there was a woman I used to work with at, your current company.

She didn't like the way I communicated. She was melanin. She was a different melanin. But anyway, she had replied all and [00:57:00] copied my boss. And so I remember calling her and I just said, listen, this is my project. If you have any concerns, please talk to me. I informed my boss of what happens. And then she just went into this whole diatribe about, oh my God, you didn't even reply to my message.

The way that I wanted I had to hang up on her. But that was a moment. And I don't know what felt different. Maybe I felt comfortable because we're two brown people trying to swim and she was trying to be cute. And I just had to knock a bitch down. But you know, there is that dynamic of white man, black man.

That's a dynamic.

Tamu: I was gonna say, why is it easier to knock a person of color down in it, as opposed to, 

Aaron: That's true. I mean, there is that dynamic and I'll be very honest. She was a woman. I don't like to think I'm a sexist person, but I have a penis. So there's that. I definitely cannot see myself tolerating that again because I remember how I felt. It's a feeling I've never felt before personally.

I am the shit. I'm not trying to like both my own ego, but I'm the shit I have things to offer. I'm in the room for a reason. You will speak to me [00:58:00] the exact same way that other people speak to me, I've explained to you when I used to work at your current company, walking into a room full of doctors and people looking at you, like, what are you doing here?

Black ass bitch. And then, I'm having to like make the joke and, make everybody laugh or whatever, because they thought it was a white guy, on the phone. I think we're just all collectively tired of passing it off as, oh, it's okay. No big deal.

I definitely feel for myself, it will be a different experience,

But that was the bill, girl.

Tamu: It was cause I was like, what the hell? This is not like you at all. 

Aaron: Yeah. It was a really crazy week. And I remember after that, I was like, I gotta get outta here. I maybe need to start contract work. 

Tamu: I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. 

You are doing something I am not used to seeing you do this completely flipped you for a loop. 

Aaron: I've been trying to process many aspects of this and I do my best to put good out into the universe and I have to motivate people. I have to motivate teams and lead teams, which, I believe that's my purpose to inspire and help get the work [00:59:00] done.

 It sounds like bullshit, but something like that really pisses on my rainbow a lot. Now I'm really recognizing we just talked about this whole anxiety and mild depression, but we have to go to work and be like, oh my God, everything is perfect. Everything is great.

I actually started in meetings, people, like, how are you? And I'm like, oh, I'm good. Or I'm tired. I'm just like, you know what? I'm not good. I'm tired. I was up XYZ. I just feel like people are craving realness right now in truth and honesty. And I want to be that person as much as I can.

Tamu: I you all Right. now, so go fuck yourself. 

Aaron: That top you were wearing the other day, bitch was fucking ugly, but I didn't say shit because I didn't want to put you on front street like that, but next time, ho catch me outside 

Tamu: Cash 

Aaron: Cash me outside? How about that, 

Tamu: I'm sorry. That, that was your experience 

Aaron: Don't be sorry. love

Tamu: I am sorry. I want to say it's been a year, right? So people should [01:00:00] learn and know better by now, but they're not until they get their hands slapped. And like, oh shit, sorry. I still think you should have pulled Chad and said, listen, bitch, next time just respond to me. We don't need to do 

Aaron: right. But the challenge too is these are VPs, right? This is VP. 

Tamu: that to you. 

Aaron: Yeah. 

Tamu: Gotcha. 

Aaron: And again, that means nothing in hindsight.

Tamu: I think. It should make you feel slightly supported that your manager then was like, Nope, I'm going to tell Chad,

also he needs to learn to never do that again to anybody 

Aaron: I'm pretty sure it's not the 

Tamu: black, white, Asian, 

Aaron: I'm pretty sure 

Tamu: male, female, whatever gender, 

Aaron: not the last time.

Tamu: nor was at the first. 

Aaron: Facts, facts. I think that's just a great example of what people of color deal with every single day. And like you said it before, too, how freeing it is to just get up and go to work, how freeing it is to just say, what the fuck you want to say and have no [01:01:00] consequences or qualms about what comes out of your mouth and everything I say, I think before I speak, because you know,

Tamu: Yes. All day, every day. And that has never changed and it won't change. 

Aaron: it's true. 

I think that it's heightened pressure, obviously because of the. Predicament, but that's always going to be there. We're always going to have this dynamic. We just are, because even in corporate spaces we're trained to respect leaders 

Tamu: But I think that's the goal of this work that these corporations say that they're doing is to foster environments where you can sit up there and say, Hey, I'm having a bad day. Maybe we can do this another day, or also Chad, you stepped out of pocket and maybe you need to think about how you approach people going forward, because this was offensive to me because here and legit provide.

And here's why, because fortunately, we still have to do the work. of saying you did this and you'd done fucked up. And here's how you fucked up and [01:02:00] why you fucked up and potentially what you can do to not fuck up again, 

which is irritating because who the fuck wants to do all that work. 

Aaron: It's just 

Tamu: Other peoples should be responsible to do that work themselves, 

Aaron: It's just another level of education, , and we've said many times, I don't have the energy to educate your ass on how to treat a human being dumb ass.

Tamu: right. 

Aaron: There's that? I digress, it's so removed now it's been a month. And in the moment those feelings were just like, Ooh, you know, 

Tamu: boo, you almost changed your whole 

Aaron: I know, I know. 

Tamu: lie. It was a month removed, blah, blah, 

Aaron: but I'm saying 

Tamu: almost change your whole 

Aaron: yes. I know that. Being removed in the situation, it still feels like yesterday.

 Truthfully there are feelings of, I definitely don't think I'm going to be at this place for 20 years, I'm not, I've been working with some of their DEI stuff too. And it's just fucks your soul up.

, you're just [01:03:00] like, well, none of these motherfuckers are gonna change. And the frustrating thing about all, I don't know about your organization, but I've been in a couple now since all this happened. And the frustrating thing is, this. I told my therapist the other day and I think he understands now, but all I want to talk about is racism.

And nobody wants to talk about racism. Like not one person.

Tamu: too hard. 

Aaron: That is the frustrating part of the work. then you add Chad and Karen to the mix, at work, you have to deal with Chad and Karen at work and still try and be a black person and still believe that these people have good intentions and that they're, coming from a place of goodness, that is all rolled up in my experience now, and how I react to these situations, hopefully the right way, but again, when you're in that situation, it was like, oh shit.

I think I just got racist with somebody. Cool.

Tamu: Racismed. 

Aaron: So yeah, that happened.

Tamu: and you're okay. 

Aaron: I am. Okay. I am. I'm getting okay. [01:04:00] I am okay. I'd like to think I'm a happy person. Most of the time, I don't like to stay in that place because it doesn't feel good. when those things happen, definitely like it's such a punch to the gut. I've just learned to get over it. I think black people are just like that. We just have to compartmentalize and move on,

Tamu: you had a hard time doing that this time. I think, 

Aaron: I'm sorry, what?

Tamu: I think because this was your first experience, really acknowledging and knowing what?

was happening to you, that you had a very hard time with 

Aaron: Oh yeah, 

Tamu: moving on. 

Aaron: absolutely. it will shape my interactions with this person and be any other person in a corporate setting, there's this heightened awareness and sensitivity, about all things being black in this space. I don't know. It definitely tells me I need to get my shit together and pull my dreams on through the toilet, the toilet.

Why would I say the toilet? I have no idea. It's late,

Tamu: excuse the interruption. This is editing Tamu here. Wanted to let you know that we [01:05:00] talked so damn much during our recording session that we decided to split our episode into two. Think of this as our season one cliffhanger. Next episode will be my, when the bill comes due and our throwbacks. 

I know, I know it's a bummer that you're not going to get to hear what our summer jams of 2000 are, but I can promise you that it is definitely worth the wait. 

 I am going to drop you back into our housekeeping and wrap-up portion of the show, and we will be back in a few weeks. Stay safe and take care. Thanks. 

All right. Do you want to do housekeeping so that we can roll up out of here? 

Aaron: Hey guys, I want to thank you for rocking with us. I know we're on a summer schedule and we're very excited to kick off our season two later this year. thanks for listening to us. follow us @whenthebillcomesdue on Tik Tok. I post a new episodes, @whenthebillcomesdue on Instagram.

Are we on Twitter yet? We're not on Twitter. No, I refuse. I don't even know what to do with the 

It links to only fans. That's about all I know.

[01:06:00] don't play. So follow us, interact with us. What does interact mean? Let me explain it to you. Wherever you podcast. Put a, like there, put a comment. I specifically check iTunes. Okay. And we would love to hear from you. Okay. I will give you a shout out, whatever you need, be respectful. Cause a bitch will cut.

 I'm sorry. I'm super punchy at 2:32 AM Eastern time waiting for Henri to smack us in the ass. but seriously, interact with us. Comment with us. I say email us, but honestly, I don't be checking that shit. So you could DM us on our other handles. At some point, Tamu is going to start a Twitter page because she's obsessed with it.

Just. Memorialize this shit. I get like 3:00 AM. Twitter feeds sent to me like, [01:07:00] oh my God. 

 I got no more. Anything else?

Tamu: Well, it is teenager approved now. 

Aaron: That's right. We are teenager approved. I always think back, like, do I ever talk about my sex life on this show? I don't think I do. I don't. 

Tamu: You allude, but you don't 

Aaron: They don't want the gory details.

I mean, I can give it to them. 

Tamu: I'm pretty sure he doesn't want it. 

Aaron: My son listens. I don't know if my daughter listens . I think she listens cause her room is next door. And so she's like, well, bitch, I hear it all. 

I'm sure she has like a tape recorder up against the wall over here. Like I'm a record this bitch because I'm going to use this somehow that anyhow, I digress. We love you guys. Thanks for rocking with us.