Letting Go of Control

Have you ever been frustrated that a child isn't saved or that a parent won't lead? This episode reminds us of what is in our control and what we need to let go of. 

Be encouraged that God is faithful to do all He promises. 

If this episode has encouraged you, send it to a friend.

#intentionalchildrensministry #kidminleader #faithful

Transcript

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Welcome to the Kidman Huddle with Amber Pike, where children as ministry leaders get equipped, encouraged, and empowered to disciple with intentionality, growing God's kingdom one child at a time.

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Welcome back to the Kidman Huddle. There are a lot of things that we wish we were in control of. Maybe this is not you and you're a go with the flow person. I'm not really a go with the flow. I am a list person. I'm a planner, an organizer. I want things planned. I want to know the plan. I want everything to be within my control of that plan so that I know the plan happens. This isn't a good way. I don't recommend this, by the way. Sometimes we need the planner. I'm the family planner, right? So I'm the one who's like, we're leaving at this time and we're going to this place and we're doing this. That need to control though is, it's a struggle. I'm a very anxious traveler when it comes to flying because it is not in my control. If everybody boards the plane on time and we get off the runway on time and we land in time, I always want to have a rental car because I want to be the one in control. I want to be able to drive when I need to. And in Kidman, this need to control and need to have things in control is tough. And this is a lesson that God's taught me over and over. And maybe this is you. So today's episode is going to be more of an encouragement. So I'll give you a story. You may have heard it before, but I have a lot of conversations with God when I'm doing dishes. I hate doing dishes, by the way. We do not have a dishwasher. When we built our house, we opted for more cabinet space because I like to cook and I like all the, you know, fun cooking things. So I am the dishwasher by hand. And during COVID, I was just really discouraged by I was doing all of the things. I was sending the stuff home. I was emailing. I was taking stuff to some kids. We were having Zoom meetings. And my families just weren't leading. And I was burdened by this. I remember just sitting at the kitchen and just I'm washing dishes. I'm at the sink and I'm just crying because I'm like, God, what's going to happen to these kids? We are shut down. They are not getting Jesus. I had one family tell me that they did not open their Bible for six months. And I believe them because I know that's true because these parents aren't leading. God, what are we doing if I'm not there to teach my kids? And that day, God taught me a lesson. So I'm washing the dishes. Jesus and I are talking. I'm crying. And my phone rings. And it was one of my kids. Their family had taken a little walk, a little hike, you know, getting out. That was like all we could do here in Kentucky. And she almost died, according to her. She was fine. Like, she fell. It wasn't dangerous. But when she got home, she wanted to call Miss Amber and tell her because she had accepted Christ in this near-death family hiking experience. And I cried again because I'm a crier. And when I got off the phone with her, I just had this like, okay, God. Yep. I see. See what you did there. Thank you. I just felt this. I felt like God was saying, Amber, it's not up to you. It is not up to you whether or not kids choose to follow me. It is not up to you whether mom and dad are leading and discipling like they are called to do. Amber Pike, it is not up to you. Because I am God and what I want is going to happen with or without you. It's not up to you. So my friend, maybe you need this reminder. This is me. I struggle. I want to make sure that my kids know Jesus and are walking with him. I wish it were up to me, but it's not. I want mom and dad to be leading. I want them to use the resources that I give home. I want them to hear their command, their calling, that they are required to lead their kids by God, not by Miss Amber, not from the pulpit, but God says they are supposed to be leading. I wish that were in my control to where I could make parents do it. But it's not up to me. And it's not up to you. It is not up to you whether or not a child accepts Christ and becomes a Christian. It is not up to you whether or not mom and dad, grandma and grandpa disciple like they are biblically commanded to do. It is not up to you. And sometimes we take that burden on us. If I were a better teacher, if I were a better leader, if I were engaging better with the families, if the church was doing a better job of resourcing, equipping, training, being relational, if, if, if, if, but it's not up to you. So then what is up to you in your job as a children's ministry leader, whether you are paid, volunteer, full-time, part-time, whatever, whatever your role may be, what is up to you? You are called to be faithful. You are called to be faithful to what God has called you to do. So if he has put you in the position of a children's ministry leader, be faithful to that. So that means showing up. That means teaching these amazing, biblically rich lessons to be intentional with your time, to be making sure you are grounding kids in the word and in the faith. It is up to you to make sure that you are equipping parents for their role as disciple maker. That is what is up to you. You are supposed to be giving the gospel. You are supposed to show children their sin and their need for the Savior. That is up to you to share that. Their response, however, is not up to you. You are supposed to be equipping parents, building relationships with them, showing them their role, giving them resources to where they can lead with at home, making sure you're vetting those resources. That's up to you. You're supposed to be training parents on how to fulfill this role. Encourage parents along the way. That is up to you. But whether or not mom and dad are leading is not up to you. Now, this is hard. Trust me. The, what, type A personalities, I think that's us, that wants to be in control. We want it to happen, right? We did the thing, so it should be happening. Well, I gave the gospel. I'm consistently sharing with these kids. They should be accepting Christ. I have been telling parents about their role. I've been providing the things, doing all the things. Why are they not doing this? They should be. But that's not up to us. And thank goodness. Because that's a big burden. If a kid is not accepting Christ, if a family is not leading, you don't have to carry that burden. Because we know that God is going to do what God is going to do. He could do it with you or without you. He does not need you. He chooses you. He allows you to. But that burden is not on you. You are just called to be faithful to what he has called you to. to pouring into these kids, grounding them in the faith, equipping the parents, encouraging resources. That is what is up to you. And then you have to just trust that God is going to be faithful for what he says he will do. The harvest, not us. That is God. We are the seed planters. We don't know when those seeds will be harvested. Harvested. Because that's not up to us. Now, been there, done that, got tons of stories about it. It is hard. Just be faithful. When you are discouraged and you feel like you don't see the fruit, you don't see the harvest, remember, you're not the harvester. God is. Be faithful. And trust in his promises over and over and over and over and over again. He tells us that he is faithful. We see that he is a promise keeper. We have scripture passages about, you know, he who began a good work in you will continue. There are so many passages talking about God's faithfulness, about what is going to happen when that seed is planted. God is faithful. And we are called to be faithful to what he has called us to do and nothing more. So I'm going to give you a story because sometimes kids, they have a way of just seeing it like it is, right? So my last year camp at my previous church, crazy situation. It was just, it was a year, right? This was the year that I knew I was leaving. No one else knew at this point, including my own kids. My husband knew and like my mom, like two other people. Circumstances happened to where I had last minute back out. And so I was able to bring a child last minute. And I'm like, okay, all right, God, this has been, this has been a hot mess getting us to camp. So Let's just see what you're going to do. It's going to be great. I know it's going to be great. And that was just the attitude that I had going in that it's for this child, right? So we go and the camp pastor, we hear him for the first night. I'm like, okay, got us. I see. I see what you're doing. I don't think I could have handpicked a pastor that could have related to this child more. Like similar circumstances, had gone through similar things, similar struggles. I'm like, okay, this is it because this child was not saved. And I'm like, this pastor is going to be the one that is going to reach this kid. All right, God, let's do this. So at one point, we're in the chapel, we're in worship one night, and I'm like, this is it. I feel it. I feel it in my heart. So I'm texting home. I'm like, okay, you guys, you got to be praying. Like, this is about to go down. Be praying. And I'm praying and we're in the altar call. And Emily and Jonathan Martin, who are fabulous, we're leading worship. And I'm crying because, again, I'm a crier. And I'm just, I'm waiting. I'm like watching out of the corner of my eye. You guys know how you do that, how you're still worshiping, but you're also making sure everybody's doing what they're supposed to. So I'm watching. I'm waiting for this child to go and respond. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And Doesn't happen. I'm like, okay, well, it's not over yet. So I'm still crying a little bit because I'm like, it's happening. We're about ready to go to church group time. So this is when it's going to happen, right? We're going to go and this child's going to, it's going to be this personal. Maybe they were just a little uncomfortable in the big group. So we go and we get into our room and I open up like I do every night. Like, okay, does anybody have any questions about anything that we've seen or heard or feeling? I'm like bracing because I know it's going to happen. And this child raises their hand. I'm like, oh, God, it's happening. It's awesome. I'm like, yeah. We go, what time is pool time tonight? I hope I hid my face well. Don't know, because I was just crestfallen. Oh, it was going to happen. I knew it. I knew it was going to happen. We did have pool rotation, in case you were wondering. So that night we were walking, we go and we get changed real quick. And we go as a group and we're walking a pool and I'm bummed. I'm just bummed because I knew, I knew this child's eternity was going to change. Like everything had been perfect to make this happen. And my little guy, he's like, mom, what's wrong? And you know, if you have children in childhood, You're serving in church. Your kids get more information than probably they should sometimes because they're there and they hear the things. And I'm like, hey, I'm just, I'm bummed because I really thought our friend was going to accept Christ. And he looks at me with just such wisdom and he goes, well, it might not be today, but it'll happen. Though my kid totally put me in my place because God was faithful to this child. It wasn't that day. The day that I just knew it was going to happen. The circumstances were absolutely perfect. Everything was leading up to this moment and I knew it was going to happen, but it didn't. But it wasn't up to me. God was faithful. This child is saved. My friends, it is not up to you. You can't make a kid become a Christian. You can't make a parent lead. But you can be faithful to what God has called you to do. to pouring into these kids, showing them the truths of God's word, showing them how much God loves them, encouraging, equipping parents, resourcing them, helping them get fired up for their command to lead. That is up to you. Then you need to trust that God is going to do all that he's promised us to do and pray, pray, pray, pray, pray that God's work happens. Pray that he is faithful to bring the fruit to harvest. You can pray. You should be faithful. But leave the rest to God. If you are struggling with this control, feel free to reach out. I feel you. It's hard. I've got situations now where I see parents not leading. And it's really tough. But I'm sitting back and I'm being faithful. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, and I'm leaving it to God. That's my encouragement to you. Whatever season you're in, be faithful. And remember, what you do matters.