What Are You Inviting Children Back To?

You've had an event, and now you are inviting kids and families to come back. But what are you inviting them back to, and is it enough to make them want to stay?

Mentioned in this episode:

The Family Ministry Academy - https://familyministry.org/family-ministry-academy/

Transcript

Amber Pike (00:00.902)
Welcome back to the Kidman Huddle. What are you inviting families back to? Okay, so we are, if you're listening to this live, it is the end of summer. well, kind of. VBSs are wrapping up. camps are wrapping up. I still have VBS to go. It's next week. By the way, make sure you are following me along on social media. If you are not, look up Amber Pike, Intentional Kidman.

I will be showing all the things that I do during VBS. I do my ceremonies a little different. I don't do the dramas like some people do. I'll have magic tricks and things that I learned in the trenches. So lots of live action you want to follow. But it's really common VBS time, big event time, to invite people back, right? It is that invitation, hey, please join us. Come for XYZ. But my question to you.

Is what are you inviting people back to? This is a pretty important question. I one of the ladies that I coach, I posed this question to her. They were gonna do the VBS, you know, invite back. They've got visitors from the community and said, Well, what are you inviting them back to? So for this lady, the next closest event was going to be their fall festival.

My question to you, if you are inviting your VBS people, your event people, let's say you had a summer event, let's say fall festival, you're inviting them to come back to church. What are you inviting them to come back to? So one, just kind of before we dig into that, you need to make sure that you are following up any kind of event with that invitation. And this needs to be planned in advance.

VBS events, anytime that you have visitors at your church, you want to be inviting them back. That needs to be planned. What you're putting in their hands, make sure that that's happening. But then what are you inviting them to? And this is a twofold think about it. That's the official phrase, the twofold think about it. I want you to think about your Sunday programming. So let's say little Billy and his family.

Amber Pike (02:14.998)
Went to your event, they come back the next Sunday. Are they gonna stay? Will they come back again? Is whatever you are offering Sunday morning program-wise enough for them to come back? Lots of things that you need to be thinking about, but we can't get just in this event make them awesome mindset. Your Sundays have to be awesome because you could throw the most amazing events in the world.

But if your Sunday programming is not doing a good job discipling, if it's not doing a good job capturing the attention of parents, they're not staying. They're not coming back again. So they might come back if the kids are singing the VBS songs or if you promised you're giving away, you know, whatever, but they're not coming back to be a regular attendee. Now, I don't think this should ever be our goal. My goal of vacation Bible school is not to grow my church numbers.

I don't think this should be our goal. It is a like fifth tier goal, maybe, right? It can be something that if it happens, that's great. We don't not want it for sure. We want to grow our numbers at our churches, but our goal is discipleship.

Amber Pike (03:31.385)
But we need to make sure if we get a visitor back, we've got quality stuff that will keep them. So think about a couple of things. one, kind of first off the bat, how welcoming is your church in your ministry? How clear is the signage to get where they need to go? is safety and security taken very seriously? Moms and dads.

Have to feel safe leaving their kid in your care or they will not come back.

So all of those things from a first-time visitor, they need to be in place consistently every single week so that parents feel, okay, this is a safe place. Even as silly as it might sound, but lack of clutter, it needs to look clean and safe, it needs to smell good. Now, I say this as someone who with after my second child, I became much more sensitive to smells. So if you have an overly scented area.

I'm not gonna be happy. being honest, an overly scented area. So if you're using a bunch of air fresheners and stuff to make it like welcoming and clean, as a visitor, I that's probably enough to keep me from coming back. Now, I know that sounds silly, but for me, artificial smells like candles and and room sprays actually trigger migraines for me. So I

probably wouldn't stay at a place. I wouldn't come back if it smelled like that and gave me migraines. Now if it's my home church, we're gonna have a conversation about the smells. But as a visitor, those are things that you should think about. I know I see some people talking about the the smell of the nursery and so they they have sprays. That makes me get a migraine. So that's a no for me. But you want a clean area. You want it to look tidy. You don't want it to look like the kids are in the dungeon and it's dingy and smells like mildew.

Amber Pike (05:29.918)
That doesn't make me as a visitor feel like, yes, this place, this church, so take seriously the discipleship of my child. Think about what you're teaching. What does lesson time look like? Of course, when asked, did you have fun today? the kids will probably say yes. What did you learn about? God. You know, we we expect those answers, but how are you showing parents that there is deep discipleship happening? That your ministry is

Taking the discipleship of their kids very seriously? What does it look like when kids are being picked up? So I drop my kid off and I walk in and I just see them all building with Legos or playing tag. Does that make me think, this program is quality? Probably not. Well, now we shouldn't just make sure that our pickup time looks like we're doing something good because we want it to be done all the time.

But these are things that you need to think about. I'll give you a story. If you've listened to all my podcasts, you might have heard this before, but you're gonna get to hear it again. Good job. So when I stepped down from full time church service, it freed me up for the first time to be able to travel on Sundays. And one year, that f that first year after I was no longer church staff, we went to church. we drove to my father in law's a couple hours away and we went to church at his church. Now he is a seventy something year old man.

He not good with kids, doesn't work with the kids. So we go in, a brand new family that no one in this church has seen except for like a couple of people that knew my husband, because that was his town. We go in, a mom with a teen, like almost teen pretty much, and a kid.

Do you think we were greeted? Do you think we were informed about the children's ministry program? No, we weren't. So this was not a place that I was going to be attending because, again, not my hometown, hours away. But we walk in, we're not greeted. No, hello, visitor. We're so happy you're here. We're looking around and we're trying to figure out: okay, is there kids programming? I'm trying to read the bulletin. I see nothing about kids programming.

Amber Pike (07:47.725)
There's no announcements, nothing. No ushers, no greeters. Nobody told us anything. So we ask my father-in-law, I'm like, hey, do you know is there kids' church for Riley? He's like, I don't know. He tries to ask somebody who is a similar age group, also has no clue. He has to get up and go find somebody at the church that he regularly attends that can inform him about children's programming. And still.

No one walked over to us and said, Hey, let me tell you about our children's programming.

If I were a visitor, I'm not feeling welcomed. I'm not coming back. We need to think about these things. You need to train your greeters to welcome them. If we're taking it a step further, let's say family attended VBS. I who worked at VBS remember because I'm working on faces and names, and I remember you were at VBS. So I'm going to connect the dots when you're there and be like, I'm so glad you're back. Insert name of child and parent.

That personal touch of knowing their names, welcoming them back is huge. I promise you it is. So we need to think about what are we inviting them back to. And the first step is our programming, the week to week. Is it friendly? Is it safe? And is it discipling? Boom, there are three. Look at that. I summarized it in three. That wasn't even on my notes. Those three things really, really matter because we do want people to come to our church.

Right? You should think that your church is the best. You want everybody to come to your church because it's amazing and they're learning about God. Yes. But is it? Is it something that people, families would see the value in and like, okay, I'll come back, I'll give it a chance. If not, you got some fixing to do. Number two, wise that we're thinking when we're asking the question, what are we inviting people back to? Think about your events because often.

Amber Pike (09:41.271)
You know, it's that segue. We had event one and we're inviting them back to event two, whether that's on a Sunday morning, our next big community event, whatever, we're we're kind of conditioned to think it's not the Sunday morning week to week programming that's always available that's going to be the draw. It's these events. What's setting your event apart? So I want you to think back to school. VBS, we we have VBS and then we tend to have back to school events. Pretty common. If you go in the Facebook groups, you see tons of that right now.

So you had BBS, you invited people back to your back to school event, but what's setting people what what is setting your event apart that makes people choose yours over other things in the town? Similar thing with fall festival. Let's say the next big thing you're inviting people to is fall festival. What is setting yours apart? See, I think this is another toe stepping on area. I think in the church world, we've gotten to where we

Have been conditioned to think or believe the inerrant I don't want to call it a lie, but wrong thought. There we go. That it's the stuff we're giving away that gets people to come. And I really see this as the case with back to school and fall festivals, also Easter egg hunts.

We're getting them to come to our fall fest or our back to school event because we're giving away school supplies. We're giving away backpacks. Look at this. We're meeting a need that we assume is there. And I'm here's my disclaimer: if you are in an impoverished area and this truly is a need, and you know kids don't get back to school supplies unless the churches are giving it out, then please keep doing it. Meet that need. Love, be be the hands and feet loving on these families with the love of Jesus. Yes. But

If that's not the case, people are just coming for the free stuff. And realistically, they're hopping from church to church to community event to community event, racking up all this free stuff. Is that the best use of your time, your energies, your efforts, and your influence? Same thing with Fall Festival. What sets your Fall Festival apart? Because I don't know about you, in my experience,

Amber Pike (12:05.208)
Fall Festival is desired for the candy. Same thing with Easter egg hunts. That's when I realized several, several years ago, they don't care about the church. They just want the candy. I did for years. I did the Easter egg hunt. I actually, fun fact, you may or may not have known about me. it was Easter weekend when my son was born. it was good good Friday. Nope, sorry, Thursday.

So Monday, Thursday, I was hiding Easter eggs at the preschool, the mother day out that my church had. And I called my mom crying. I'm like, my back hurts, and I was in labor, didn't know it. twenty-seven and a half hours later, my son was born on Good Friday, and it was like pouring rain on Easter. I had to call in on Saturday. I called our youth pastor. I'm like, hey, I just had a baby. Can you take care of the Easter egg hunt? And it poured on them. And then I went home Easter Sunday. So my son's an Easter baby. But I did all the Easter egg hunts.

Nine months pregnant, even I was prepping the Easter egg hunt. I did them for years for churches, and I always told them about Jesus. I always, my fall festivals, my Easter things, I have that Jesus connection, right? They're going home with a CD. I gave away Jump Start 3 CDs and Yancy albums and I did magic tricks before they could hunt the Easter eggs. And I'm telling them the gospel. I did it religiously. Ha ha.

I wasn't making a difference. I was just giving people candy.

In

Amber Pike (13:40.249)
15 years of fall festivals and Easter egg hunts, I can honestly say I think I brought one family to visit the church because of those events. Either church, two separate churches, two different areas. They wanted the candy. They wanted the fun. They wanted a free, safe thing for their kids. So what is setting your event apart?

What makes them choose your event over all the other events in the town, the different churches in the town that are giving away candy or doing XYZ or, you know, VBS is the prime example. Unfortunately for where unfortunately, but also fortunately where I'm at, everybody's using Answers VBS. Did not used to be the case. Ten years ago I was the only one using it. Now everybody's using it. And I love answers, so I'm glad, but I'm also like, hey, stop taking my theme. You guys get it.

So what's drawing people to yours?

And with that, if you are really honest with yourself.

I would challenge you to ask: is this the most effective thing I can do? I made the switch several, several years back. I'm not doing these events anymore. I'm making family discipleship themed events. They are a better use of my time because I mean, my job is to disciple, not just to be a candy supplier or a fun maker. We can have fun doing anything. I want to disciple.

Amber Pike (15:12.59)
I want to use my time, my energy, my resources to disciple. And realistically, I'm not gaining community members because I'm doing these big outreach events where I'm giving them stuff. Now, if the case, if this is different for you, love it. Hey, you want to come talk about how you're winning on my podcast so we can tell other people? Awesome. Let's do it. Message me. But I think a lot of us, especially smaller churches, are in that position where.

I bet if you were honest and willing to stop doing something just because it's always been done, you might find a different event, a family discipleship event, might be more effective. So we're inviting people back, but what are we inviting them back to? What does our Sunday morning programming look like? And what is setting our events apart to make them want to come? Now, a couple of tips for you.

And as you're thinking about this and how we're inviting people back in the success rate of them coming back and staying, I encourage you to utilize social media. How can you get the people who are coming to your event to follow you on social media so that then, easy button, you've had to do really very little extra work, they are seeing any subsequent event happening.

etc. So what does that look like? How do you get them to follow? Is it a contest at your event? Is it something like VBS and hey, make sure you're following along so you can see all the cute pictures of your adorable children that you've checked the photo consent and they're gonna be on social media. Boom.

That is effective in getting people to come to events. And it could be something as easy as this becomes a VBS family and they're there every year at VBS. They have their own church home, but they love your VBS and they're getting discipled and they're following on social media so they know when it is and when to register. It is effective. Utilize your social media. Another next tip, tip two, be personal. Emails, postcards.

Amber Pike (17:24.204)
Knowing their names, that personal touch really does make a difference. I don't know that she would listen to it, but I'm gonna tell a story if you're listening. Catherine, I love you. So we had a family that came to our VBS last year. Their kids were registered, and I believe they missed the first day, but they had registered. Yeah, they missed the first day. And so I emailed her, hey, we missed the kids at VBS.

Hope you can still join us for the rest of the week.

She'd forgotten something came up, something awesome. They were there the rest of week. Now we're almost a year later. She is now a member at our church. But it didn't happen right away. She didn't come back the next Sunday, or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next. But she had been following us on social media. So I would have different events posted and she might comment on something or ask the date, you know, clarifying question, whatever.

But it was around Easter ish that she started coming. And when she came in, because I really try really hard to be good with names and people, and I looked it back up so I would remember because I knew who she was, right? and I couldn't remember names, so I looked up the names on my app and I greeted with a hell of like with a very, very warm welcome. Hey, I'm so glad you guys are here. Insert kids' names, yada yada yada. This personal connection made a difference. I had the touch points.

in place that personal connection, emails, I send postcards. I'm so glad you visited. she'd been tracking on social media. So she was seeing that things are happening. There's a great program for the kids. Boom, it made a difference. And we've got a family now at our church. Didn't happen right away, but I was consistent. I continued to do the things, to have the Sunday programming, to have the events, to post about them, to have that connection. It matters.

Amber Pike (19:21.077)
Similarly, it shouldn't be just you. Now, this is obviously more of our small church friends, our schmedium church friends, maybe. But a lot of times, unfortunately, in my ministry career, it's been me being the only one who loves on these families. I have not been blessed with a super awesome pastor that loved families and understood the importance of discipling families. And so I would see.

I'm the only touch point. I'm the only connection. And when they stop coming, I'm the only one reaching out to them. And it didn't make enough of a difference. There should be others on your team. If that's a task that you have to assign, assign it. Can your kids VBS teachers or small group leaders or or people who helped run the cakewalk? Whatever, can they reach out? Can they send postcards? Can they remember faces when visitors do come? It shouldn't just be you. It shouldn't be one person. Similarly.

Help your pastor out. So our pastor remembered this mom. He couldn't remember his name or couldn't remember her name. and then the second week that she visited, I knew that my pastor's not great with names right away. It takes him a little bit. So I was proactive and I'm like, hey, Pastor Mark, remember Catherine? She's back again. Boom. I just inserted that name that he needed. He recognized he didn't have the name down pat yet. Help your pastor out.

You're on the same team. Do it.

All right, I had to read, I couldn't, I couldn't read my notes there. Sorry, guys. The next is that we're planning in attendance or planning in advance. I want to invite you, person who came to this event, to come to my next event, but I can't do that unless I have it planned. Plan in advance. And then how are you getting that information to them? Are you making a card, a magnet? Are you doing some snail mail to follow up with all those registrations that you captured at the event? How are you letting them know about these things that are planned in advance?

Amber Pike (21:25.569)
I found this when I first started out in VBS, first time on staff, I made sure my VBS was the exact same week every single year. Families plan their vacation around the VBS dates. They knew when to expect it. So at the end of my VBS, I announced: hey, next year's VBS is gonna be at this date. Do it. They know when it is, they can plan to come. It makes a difference.

And then my last tip in this conversation on what are we inviting them back to? Make sure Sunday is worth coming back for. That means all the things that you hear from me all the time about how we need to be discipling and not just entertaining. We have one hour with these kids. We need to be using every minute of it to disciple them, to grow them in their faith, not just to have fun. So is your hour, is your Sunday programming, is your event, is it something worth coming back to? I hope.

That I've given you a lot to think about. Man, if you are, if you are doing opposite of me, I would love to hear. Sometimes people will be like, hey, I have a different point of view. And I love hearing it. a lady recently had a different point of view on social media about my Bible cards. And I loved it. I loved hearing a different perspective because you know what? My experience isn't my experience. And you might be in a completely different community in a different area and different things might be working. Love it.

I do know we all need to be discipling. We need to be teaching boys and girls the truth of God's word. And I love to hear different perspectives. If you are rocking outreach, come talk to me. Tell me how. I want to know. Hopefully, this gave you a lot to think about. a lot of it is similar things in intentional children's ministry. If you haven't checked out that book, check it out. I talk about why I don't do kids' events anymore. I talk about family discipleship events. Man, if this is something that you would love to know more about, know that this is airing in July. We are getting close to

Our October new cohort of the Family Ministry Academy. If you want to know how you can equip moms and dads to be disciple makers, grandmas and grandpas to be disciple makers in your church, talk to me about it. We have an amazing scholarship right now. It's $100 this year, 2026. If you're listening to this later, we might not have that. Sorry, but still come talk to me. Check it out, the Family Ministry Academy. It's on our website, family ministry.org. I promise it's going to change how you do ministry. It's going to give you less to do.

Amber Pike (23:50.743)
while equipping moms and dads. Hey, kidmen friends, remember what you do matters.