6 Ways to Manage Behavior

We've all had classes where behavior was out of control, and kids weren't listening. While the first steps toward good behavior start in the planning phase, this episode covers 6 ways you can see behavioral improvement. 

Transcript

Amber Pike (00:01.234)
Welcome back to the Kidmin Huddle. When I'm recording, it is VBS week for me. And if you have a new influx of kids, or maybe it's like this on your regular week-to-week programming with kids, sometimes behavior is an issue. So today's episode, we are gonna talk about some of my tips and tricks on behavior management. Right? we've all had those kids, the wild child.

I like to use the word squirrely, which, fun fact, nothing knows how to spell correctly. Autocorrect is always trying to change it to squirrel. But we've had those kids. We have had those kids that are so disruptive for whatever the reason that the class just isn't happening. The teaching time is is feels chaotic and disrupted. That kid who really wants to listen is unable to listen. Y'all know what I'm talking about, right?

So I'm gonna go over just some really practical things that I use to kind of help manage or redirect some of those behaviors. Now I know I've had some other podcasts like this, so definitely go back and check those if you are really struggling with some discipline or classroom management. But this is gonna be those practical. So not the proactive, which proactive is always the number one step, right? You need to have lessons that are engaging.

They are full body. They are moving. I posted about this on social media recently, how VBS Sunday, before, right? So we start on a Sunday, it's all decorated. My kids, honestly, all the adults in my church were just kind of off on Sunday. They were excited and not great listeners. So I added an extra movement to my already interactive, engaging lesson plan because the kids needed some redirects.

Your lesson, your intentionality, your engagement is the proactive first step to good classroom behavior management. But let's say, for whatever the reason, maybe it's the child is lacking discipline at home, maybe it's they're feeding off of each other, whatever the reason is. And and again, we are trying to find those reasons. If a kid is hungry, their behavior is going to reflect that. So all of those things, those other podcasts that I've done, we're putting those

Amber Pike (02:20.642)
You've already listened though, so boom, next steps. What do we do? What can we do when those kids are just kind of acting up and out? What do we do in the moment? Well, one thing is we can call out good behavior. So when I've got a room full of kids, I love how Riley is sitting with her eyes on me, ready to listen. I love how Ben is waiting patiently. And when you start naming out their friends' names, you see everybody else like.

straighten up and start to listen. It works because who wants to be the kid that's not called out? It's also something that I don't know, it just kind of breaks down whatever whatever they were doing or engaging them. They recognize a friend's name and it's not their name. So they just kind of stop and start to listen. It's a really great tactic. So we're calling out the good behavior. I also think with this it's really helpful when a child has been struggling behaviorally.

That you are praising them for good behavior. So we had, we have two boys at at Bible school currently that are really wild. And yesterday, one of them was just done with the other. And so he chose not to sit by his friend. And his behavior drastically improved to where he was one of the best listeners, most quiet participating. And so he got complimented on his good behavior and got a special sticker because

Man, it was a it was a vast difference. So today I'm betting I'm gonna see different behavior out of this kid because he improved and we praised. We like praise, right? Number two, in the moment, redirect behavior. Remind them of the behavior expectation. This little's especially, okay, we are getting ready to go to small group time. And when we go, we're gonna go sit on our mats and sit on our bottoms.

And be ready to listen. Littles need to know this, but also big kids do too. When my son was little, he had to know what the plan was. And so we would have to go through every night, he needed to know what we're doing the next day. And I would have to go step by step. And if something disrupted that plan, he got very frazzled. Well, kids need to know what the expectation is. Sometimes they need to know what the schedule is.

Amber Pike (04:43.658)
It can be frazzling if not. So what is the behavioral expectation? How are they supposed to do it? Did you go from a wild time where you're playing games and being silly to suddenly expecting them to sit down and listen quietly and sit still without any instruction? That might be hard for some. I actually fuss at my husband about this pretty regularly at night. He, as a as a grown up, can get all wild with the kids.

But I'm like, it is bedtime. You were body slamming our child in their bed and expecting her to go to sleep now. You've just gotten her all riled up. Don't do that. So maybe you need some transition. Maybe you need that reminder, like, okay, we had so much fun playing this game. It was great. But now we're moving into this time and here's what we should be doing. I found helpful when I would have a high energy thing and then move to a sit and listen thing.

We would do a grab a candy break. And this would also be a room transition. So we would be in part of the room for movement. Then they would go to the candy cart and pick out their candy and take it with them to go sit to the next thing. And honestly, that was a calm down thing from the high energy to the sit and listen. That grab your candy while you transition. Super helpful if you can do it number wise.

The next idea when I've got a lot of talking is if you can hear me, touch your nose. If you can hear me, touch your ears. If you can hear me, touch your elbows. Just you're picking out body parts. If you can hear me, put bunny ears up, you know, whatever. Two fingers on top of your head. When you've got your good listeners, because there's always some who are afraid of getting in trouble. That was me as a kid. I was a really good listener. Then the other children.

Are like, what's why is this why is this person touching their ears? Why are they all doing this? What am I missing out on? And after just a couple of commands, you've regained control of the majority of the class, if not all. and you can do this over and over and over. And it doesn't matter the age group. Do preteens really want to touch their nose? No, but they're gonna do it. And it refocuses, it calms them down, and then I get that reminder: okay, I need really good listeners. Now

Amber Pike (07:07.572)
I say all this, I've got a couple more, but just like a little pause here. I say all this knowing I do not expect my kids to sit quietly and listen the whole time because I understand kids are kids. I understand how they learn. We have lots of times where I want them talking and I want them engaging and I want them to interrupt if they have a really great question and they need to understand something. But I need to be able to teach so that kids can learn. And if someone is so wild that the rest of my friends can't learn.

That's when we have to control the behavior. Another thing, you know, if it gets so, so loud, a tactic I use is I just stand there quietly.

If you're listening to this, that was my face of me standing there quietly. And it works. Because let's face it, when you reach the point the volume in the room is so loud that you're having to pause, you probably don't have the nicest look on your face. You're a little frustrated. So the look goes with the quiet. And I will just stand there. And then you see the friends start elbowing each other, like Miss Amber's waiting.

And sometimes they'll say, I'm waiting for y'all to get quiet so I can continue. And they get quiet. It works. Another tactic is a best listener award. Okay, I am gonna be watching for the best listener. Whoever's the best listener is gonna get this. Now, what does the best listener look like? They're sitting straight, they're doing good. So here's practically how I did this last night.

Had some squirreliness and we were getting ready to watch a five minute mission video. Five minutes, guys.

Amber Pike (08:52.694)
It's purposeful, it's for a point. It's, you know, we're meeting a girl that we we use Children's Hunger Fund missions for VBS. So it's talking about a boy or girl around the world and why we're donating to Children's Hunger Fund to where we can help children get their physical needs met with food, but then also hear about Jesus. So it's short, it's sweet, it's made for kids. But quite frankly, we were at the point where five-minute video was gonna be a challenge, especially just some roughness in my older class, believe it or not.

And so I told them that while the video was playing, I was going to be watching for the best listener. And then I pulled out of my fanny pack, because yeah, I'm rocking a sparkly fanny pack for VBS. Showed the sticker that I was gonna give to the best listener. And I had about a third of my kids, they sat straight and they didn't move, and they were listening.

No, I say this with a couple of caveats. One, you can overdo this. So back in the day, idea I heard from someone who apparently stole it from somebody else without giving them credit. I used to have like special awards caught being good. And I made these little paper things and I would pass them out, and I would give them to my VBS leaders to pass them out. And it got to the point where they were giving them to every child. And kids would have like four.

Who weren't necessarily being exceptionally good. And then the prize picking was taking 10 minutes and I'm losing ceremony time at BBS. So I really cut that out a lot because it was just not being effective because it was being used too much. But I would still have them at my class podium thing. And I would pull them out every once in a while if we were just having an especially rough day. You can do the same thing with candy.

It doesn't have to be a paper award or little prizes. the the other caveat is I really challenge you to think about when you are doing this.

Amber Pike (10:59.03)
You do not want the potential promise of a treat, a prize, a whatever to stop a kid's response to the spirit. So I really challenge you if if you are bribing good behavior during gospel presentation time.

Don't award that.

before the altar call. Let me give you an example. I have seen it done where there's this special prize. And so the the whole message is done. The altar call is given.

Amber Pike (11:49.25)
And then it's the price.

So I feel that because it's not given and it's so hyped up, I feel that there could be kids who don't want to respond to the spirit because they want that prize. I don't like how that's done. I just challenge you. If you're if you're awarding a prize for good listening, think about the win and what the the hope of that prize could be stopping. Is it stopping a child's response?

Are you interrupting your flow so much? you know, maybe it's something that you're telling them, and then it happens at the very end when everything's all done, right before, you know, announcements, dismissal. That's okay. They'll be fine to hang out longer. We do want good listeners, but we want good listeners who are listening with their heart and responding as well. So just be careful if you're offering awards.

And last thing that I'm talking about, just these really practical redirects. Of course, we have all of the common, you know, sitting a child down, talking, hey, this is not how we're supposed to be acting, good listening ears, all of those reminders, you know, getting on their level, talking to them, especially the ones that you know better. I think it's okay to tell them, you know, I know you can do better and I expect better behavior from you. You can have those one-on-one talks. That's why relationships are so key to where you can fuss at those kids and it's from love.

And you know what they're capable of. So all of those. but then the last one that's just kind of a a unique and it works is I will have a question prize. Now I have talked about, and it's at church, so I can't show you. I've talked about my question box. This is the squeezy applesauce boxes because those big boxes from Sam's and Costco, they're sturdy. That is some sturdy cardboard box. I cut a hole out of the top, I duct taped it, looks all fun, and it makes such a sturdy box.

Amber Pike (13:48.193)
I will put question cards, just an index card with something written on there, in my box. They can pull it out, answer a question, get a prize. Well, another way to do this is instead of reviewing, let's say we're moving to the next segment of our lesson and we are kind of reviewing the things that we have learned before we start teaching the new things. So instead of me telling them the fact, I'm going to ask.

Example, one of our songs at BBS talks about Jehovah Jirah, that God creator. And we talked about this. It's in one of our songs. The song's name is Provider. So I had my prize box, and I said, I'm going to be picking a friend who is sitting so nicely and listening who thinks they know the answer to my question. And everyone then sits up really, really nicely.

And then I give them, you know, I call on friends to answer. And I don't give you the prize if you don't get it right. If you get it close, I'll help you with it. And you get the prize. And I sprinkled this in about four to three, four times during my lesson last night and and saw a much better attention behavior rate. Now, you can do all these things. You can have an interactive lesson. You can proactively plan your lessons where there's lots of body movement and

learning smarts and learning styles and they're all engaged and you can still have a really off class. It is going to happen. And I tell you this as a kidman veteran who has been doing it for decades. I'm into the plurals now. There will be days when no one listens, when it's chaos, not fun chaos, just chaos chaos. And you just feel discouraged and dejected and you feel like this was an epic flop. My friend, it happens.

And sometimes the best plans doesn't matter, still gonna happen. So just be encouraged by that that there are gonna be days, kids are kids, there are gonna be days that they're not gonna listen no matter how many redirects that you have or or whatever. Because think about it. Sometimes life is exhausting. My youngest niece, whew, mama says she's struggling today because we're halfway at VBS and she's tired, like she's little.

Amber Pike (16:09.966)
And that's a lot. And they live kind of far away. So they're driving and they're getting home late. It's exhausting on kids. Life sometimes is just full of stuff and it does affect their behavior. Things at home, if they're extra tired, if there's extra party, if there's been more candy in their, you know, more sweets in their diet the last week, their behavior's gonna be off. So it doesn't mean that you are a bad ministry leader, a bad Sunday school teacher, a bad whatever teacher if your kids are misbehaving. Take take solace in that.

Been there, done that, left church in tears before because nobody listened. But make a plan for how are you going to improve that? Do you need to take a look at your lesson and see is it engaging enough? Is there body movement? Do I need to add in, you know, physical location movement? We're going from one side of the room to the other, or we're going to a separate room, separate area. Friends, I add that in when my kids are extra squirrely. Just I pivot very impromptu.

Sunday was one of those. We were gonna do these prayer stations. I was gonna have them just kind of pick where they wanted to go. I'm like, nope. So we had moved in the fellowship hall, which had lots of open space, which isn't always great for keeping their attention. But our classroom was super decorated and it was a distraction. So we went in there and I decided that they were gonna have to run. And so I took, I would take the prayer station paper that I had, and they would have to follow me to the spot. And so I'm

I'm in my dress and you know, cute little sandals, and I'm running through there and they're following me. And sometimes I would go swirly patterns and stuff, and then we'd stop and we'd take our knee because we were learning about Daniel and how God used Daniel to show the whole world that God was God, the one true God. And we were praying on our knees like Daniel, and we would do the prayer station because they got some wiggles out, and then we calmed down and we prayed, and then we got up and then we ran around the room to the next one. And we did this a couple of times and they loved it.

But you know what? If I had just tried to let's go walk over there to the prayer station and let's do our four prayer stations, it would not have gone so well. And I know this. Physical location movement, helpful. Body movement, helpful. A variety of learning smarts, learning styles, helpful. Redirects like these things, helpful. Conversations with kids. Hey, I need you to do XYZ.

Amber Pike (18:35.138)
This is what we're doing now. All helpful. So if you're having some classroom struggles, just take a look at what's happening. What would make things better? You know, there could be a common culprit. You may need to split up kids. They can't sit next to each other. Someone gets to sit next to you. Maybe it's during videos they're really disengaging. So you need to cut out all those videos. What do you need to do to help the behavior get better? Because we're remembering our goal. We want to see boys and girls become lifelong disciples of Christ.

And we are up there teaching God's truths and we want the kids to be able to hear God's truths, to be able to love his word. But if there's so much squirreliness, if there's so many distractions and disruptive kids, that's not happening for someone. So we do want to maintain some control. Hey, if you are just really struggling, hey, my class is crazy and I don't know how to help.

Reach out. Let's see if we can figure out some solutions that might work in your context. If you need some encouragement, reach out to me. I'm on social media. Look up Amber Pike. You can email me apike at renewation.org. Find me. Reach out. And remember, I know I close with this every time, but it's so true and so important. So take it to heart. Remember, kidman leader, what you do matters.