What Every Parent Needs to Know and How to Communicate It

What does every parent in your ministry need to know? And how can you communicate that through your programming? 

This episode shares 3 things every parent needs to know and how your ministry decisions can communicate them. 

Mentioned in this episode: 

The Family Ministry Academy - https://familyministry.org/family-ministry-academy/

Transcript

Amber Pike (00:01.448)
Welcome back to the Kidmin Huddle. Do you love working with parents? Yes or no? Or you a kids only person? Now I much so prefer the children, but if you work in children's ministry, you don't just work with and minister to the children. You have to get to, need to work with the parents. And there are things that we as ministry leaders really wish parents knew.

So I've got three things in this episode that I wish parents knew. And I'm going to share how I'm communicating those things through what I do as a ministry leader. So just to make sure we're all on the same page though, whose job is it to disciple boys and girls? Well, it is not ours, the church. if you've listened to my podcast before, you have heard that before.

If not, hey, welcome. Truth bomb on you. It is not our job as the ministry leaders as much as we wish. Sometimes it was our job. It's not our job to be the primary disciple makers of boys and girls. We see this over and over in scripture. The Shema is probably the famous one we point to. Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 9. We are parents are told to impress upon their children. There's other passages where we're told to pass on our faith to our kids, to tell the glorious deeds of the Lord, to disciple our children.

Moms and dads are primary disciple makers, grandmas and grandpas, secondary. we, the church, our job is to equip believers. So, yes, this does mean we are discipling kids. But if moms and dads are the primary disciple makers, we as the church leaders, we need to be equipping moms and dads to fulfill that role.

That's what we need to do, regardless what our title is, what our role is as children's ministry leader. And I get it. Like your power is limited, your authority is limited. You have a job title. You have other people you answer to. I I get it. But we want to equip mom and dad to lead at home, to disciple their kids. And how we are leading our ministry can communicate a lot of important things to moms and dads.

Amber Pike (02:14.668)
So I'm gonna over these three things that I wish every parent knew and then share how I am communicating those things without saying, hey, moms and dads, let me tell you three things because they're not gonna listen. You guys know that. So, number one, I wish every parent knew that church attendance matters. It does. Church is important. I mean, we see this, we're told to not forsake the the fellowship of believers. We're supposed to gather together. We are supposed to go and

be under the authority of a pastor. If we're looking at the way God set up like the authority hierarchy of of life, we are supposed to be in the church to be the church, the body of believers working together to advance the kingdom. This includes our kids. And church attendance matters. We want to see families at church consistently. Now this is one of those like I wish I could sometimes I wish I could say the thoughts that come in my head.

Cause you've got those families too. So do I, the families that prioritize everything else. Sports or birthday parties or whatever becomes more important than church attendance. But church attendance matters. And we can communicate this to parents in a couple of different ways. Number one, you need to have quality programming. Because if you are trying to tell parents that their church attendance matters.

And then they bring their kids and it's disorganized and it's a waste of time. We're not communicating that church attendance does actually matter. So, prime example that you guys sometimes hate on me about movie day. I know, I always come back to this. If I'm having a movie day at my church, I have not communicated to my parents that church attendance matters. To me, skip day.

What you are planning, the programming that you are doing, is or is not communicating the importance of church? So maybe it's time for a little assessing. Does the level of discipleship happening in your children's ministry, does the programming, the lessons, the curriculum, the amount of time you're spending on games or fun?

Amber Pike (04:38.442)
Is that communicating that being at church matters? It needs to be. Now, if you have questions about this, if you want to talk, I'd love to chat. I love talking curriculum. What we're teaching, that's literally the purpose of church. we we are teaching the the children. We are growing them, we are equipping the believers. So what you're doing needs to be high high quality and intentional and deep and meaty and all those good things.

Another way that we are communicating that church attendance matters is that there should be an emphasis on corporate worship.

Children's ministry, much to my dismay, is not in the Bible, is not created by God for the transmission of faith.

Family discipleship is. If you look to the Old Testament, you see, also you see it in the New Testament as well, you see all of the believers gathered together hearing scripture read out loud. Moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, teens, kids, even little bitties. One of the passages says that even the infants were there hearing the words of the Lord read out loud.

When we don't have corporate worship together, we are not communicating that the whole church matters. We're also not being biblical. now I'm all for I think kids learn on a kid's level, especially kids of today, with you know, the rise of screens and focus time and all of that. I think there's such benefit in children hearing things on their level. But there should be times when they are worshiping as the church body.

Amber Pike (06:17.452)
With the church body beside mom and dad. I love having kids in worship on communion Sundays to where they're seeing mom and dad. They're they're learning from mom and dad. They're having the elements explained by mom and dad. I love when I'm looking around for one of my nieces or one of my church kids, and I can't find them in church. I love it because there's a couple places I know to look. And one of them is up on the stage.

With our organist. Mm Miss Perry has played the organ for I don't know how many years, my whole life at least. And I can't count the number of kids that she has had on that stool beside her. Grandkids, church kids. And there are times when I'm like, I dropped off this kid to their parent between Sunday school and church. Where is where is the child? And if I can't find them, I'm looking up on stage and there they are. And those relationships are important.

Are we making sure that there's time for our kids, for our families to be connected with the church body as a whole? It matters for faith development. So church attendance matters. Number two thing that I wish parents knew, I wish every parent knew, that reading the Bible with your kids is the most important thing that you can do as a parent. Study after study has shown, I believe it's a life way survey.

it's one of the one of the contributing factors to a child having a deep, strong, lifelong, resilient faith. But I believe it's only 20 29% of parents are actually reading the Bible with their kids. It's not a good number. God gave us the Bible. It is living and active, Hebrews 4:12. It is God breathed, God inspired, 2 Timothy 3:16. It is so important.

We are to be meditating on his words day and night. It is sweeter than honey. It is good. It is great. It is from God to teach us, to grow us, to equip us for what he needs. But so many parents don't. We might have number one down pat church attendance matters. But if parents are commanded to disciple,

Amber Pike (08:33.964)
The most best, most success-bringing thing that they can do is read the Bible with their kids. So how do we communicate that to them? Well, one, when we are thinking about the things that we are sending home, we need to ask ourselves, are we sending home things that get parents reading the Bible with their kids? Or are we just sending home some weak fluffy stuff that has maybe a verse tacked on somewhere?

This is a toe stepping area. I have a lot of opinions on resources for families, devotions, discipleship books, all of these things.

And I have a very short list of family devotionals that I would recommend, primarily for this reason. They never get families in the Bible. Now, I do think there's a time and a place for storybook Bibles, especially those younger years when we are understanding the narrative of scripture. Those are good, those are useful. But God gave us the Bible. They need to hear his words, even if.

They don't completely understand it or aren't paying attention. Now, I'm not saying we sit and read the entire book of Second Chronicles to the children of one sitting. They're not gonna, they're not gonna hang in there. Honestly, you are probably not gonna hang in there. But we do need to be reading from God's word at home. So send home discipleship resources that actually get families in the Bible. So here's an example. My book, Praise Him.

It doesn't follow your regular devotional model, which looks a lot like there's there's two ways on the market. There's either it starts with a verse, and then here's a chunk of stuff that's really like the author's opinion. Maybe it's a little story about like a dog that may or may not tie into the verse, and then there's a scripted prayer. That's your average church devotion, or it's chunk of stuff versed somewhere in there or at the bottom.

Amber Pike (10:44.546)
In the prayer. It's not really growing a family's faith, but it's also not really getting families in God's word. It's primarily an author's opinion or a relatable story or something to draw the kids in the hook that may or may not actually teach them anything about God. And often no. I have a shelf with quite a few of these things in there.

And many things that I, the children's leader who loves Jesus and her kids, can never bring myself to finish with my kids. We would get, we'd get off. It wasn't a priority. We stopped doing it. Well, you know why? Because it wasn't growing our faith. So subconsciously, before I could even really articulate why I didn't like it, that's why it wasn't doing anything to grow us. It didn't get us in God's word. So I wrote a devotion.

That starts straight with, if you're watching this, you can see it. If not, you're just gonna have to imagine it if you're listening. It starts straight with read from the Bible together. I don't put the scripture in the book for a reason. I want them opening up a Bible and seeing God's word in your hand. There's value in that. So it starts straight with read this together. And then the stuff in there, the you know, the the blurb paragraph.

It's not a story about me. And I could I could tell you all the things. So this one is on God is incomprehensible. That is the attribute that this particular devotion, this day that I turn to you is. I mean, I could for sure taught a story about something when I didn't understand something. They're not able to fully understand. Like the fact that when I took ballet as a child, because I was very tall, if you've seen me in person, I'm like 5'10, I'm a big girl. I've always been really tall.

they bumped me up a level, my second year of ballet, so I'm like six. They bumped me up because I looked ridiculous in my age class because I was that much bigger. Like I looked awkwardly big compared to them. And I remember being so confused that next year of ballet because I had no clue what was going on. I had no skill. I was a terrible dancer. I was confused. I didn't understand it all. I could for sure make a little devotion about that and tie it into God being incomprehensible. We just can't understand him. But

Amber Pike (13:01.942)
Why do you, the reader, care about my life and my stories? You need to hear what God's Word says. So historical context and explaining it and drawing it out, way better. It's going to help grow faith. When you are finding resources to send home, you should ask yourself the question How is this getting families into God's Word? Are you sending home like lesson plans or Bible reading things or recaps on your social media, whatever?

How are you moving families to get into God's word? Because parents reading the Bible with their kids is one of the most important things they can do to disciple their kids, the most important things they can do in life.

Number three, so one, church attendance matters. Two, reading the Bible is the most important things parents can do their kids. Number three, I wish every parent knew that they are the gatekeepers to their child's house, hearts, homes. Parents are the gatekeepers.

S everything is influencing children.

So the question is, what is influencing and towards whom? Because they're either being influenced towards God or away from. And I wish parents understood this. There are a lot of things marked kids, even marked Christian, that are actively teaching against God.

Amber Pike (14:29.526)
And I wish parents and I wish ministry leaders really understood this. You know, we're told to be on guard. First Peter 5:8, the the enemy is prowling around like a roaring lion seeking for souls to devour. My friends, this is so true, and it is so scary. There are several things new and on the scene right now that are just frightening for kids and teaching an anti-God mentality. There is, I was scrolling yesterday and saw a lady wrecked.

Not recommending, opposite of recommending, anti-recomending, a kids' book. This book was geared for lower elementary, so eight, nine year old boys. And this particular book, just a secular kids' book, not teaching about God, but not like teaching something else. It's just a fiction book, fun, right? This book, according to this book talk mom.

In detail, talked about suicide by hanging. This kid was like a detective or something. And it mentioned multiple times in this kid's book, geared towards eight and nine year olds, about the man in the book who was who stood on a block of ice that melted with a rope around his neck and he hung himself and died.

I don't let let's sure hope I don't get in trouble for naming names, but there is a new circus-themed show on Netflix. It's actually not new from some research, but maybe just coming up on the scene. It is geared for kids. If you look at the Netflix description, it is geared for kids. And these circus-themed things are making suicide jokes and talking about having sex with each other. You know how many of your kids, how many of your parents are allowing your kids.

Unrestricted access to Netflix, maybe with some child controls on, but this show's marked for kids.

Amber Pike (16:25.312)
Everything is either pointing your kids to or away from God. And I wish our parents knew this. So how how do I communicate this? Well, one way that I do it personally is anytime I get I'm corporate prayer or announcements or whatever, I'm dying about. Now I'm also reading the room and being appropriate when there are children present in that room with adults during a congregational prayer, I'm censoring what I'm saying. So I'm not telling them about the Netflix show where the cartoon characters are wanting to have sex with each other because that would just

not really be appropriate with four-year-olds in the room. Or talk about it if you want. That's cool. I am, however, warning our families and encouraging them to be on your guard. I'm also training parents and being open and honest with them. So this is another relationships matter. We have a beautiful, unexpected gift in that a new mom at our church has decided

These are my people and we're gonna all be friends. And so we have a mom group chat, which is really cool. And I was listening to an excellent podcast the other day on this, on guarding your home, on guarding your children, on standing firm on the word, on the spiritual attack that's happening. And I'm like, moms, you need to watch this. And I sent the link. You know that we can equip and encourage parents with something as simple as that. Now, do I believe that every one of those moms in my mom group chat watched it? Nope.

What about one or did?

one or two that might be guarding their hearts, their children's hearts a little more. Send great podcasts, articles. Send these to your parents. If you hear about your kids into something that is very, very problematic anti-God.

Amber Pike (18:14.07)
Mom and dad know. Hey, just wanted to let you know. Not sure if you were aware of this, but did you know that this XYZ that your kid is into is actually teaching them XYZ, which is against God's word? I just didn't know if you knew and I wanted to make you aware.

We need to train and encourage our parents. Send resources. Send the the the opposite. If if children shouldn't give be given unrestricted access to YouTube and Netflix, they shouldn't. What alternatives can you suggest to parents? Have you guys watched Minnow? My daughter is into if you watch my social media, it was adorable. She's into this little show called Dot Connor. And she is a

Like middle school girl who solves like Bible detective mysteries. She's like a spy and it's adorable. And so my daughter now has a little fedora, a gray fedora, and is going around with a magnifying glass, and I'm making her Bible challenges to solve. Share really cool resources with kids. Recommend great stuff that maybe you are doing at home personally. Hey, like we love the Dead Sea Squirrels. They're so cute. We watched the show. My son's read books. I've started them with my daughter. So cute.

Share about those with your families. Give them the positive, encouraging Bible teaching things as your warning against the things of the world because these kids are being influenced either for God or against God.

Amber Pike (19:48.803)
I wish all of my parents knew these things, that church attendance matters, that reading the Bible with their kids is the most important things they can do as a parent. And I wish they knew about the importance of being the gatekeeper, being aware of and controlling what is given access to their kids.

I can tell them these things, but I can also lead my ministry in a way to where I am teaching them these things. I'm making Sundays important. I am, I am showing them the importance of corporate worship, of growing. You know, the kids want to be there because they're growing and they love church. My three year old niece loves church and she loves her Bible. And it makes me so happy.

She can't wait to show me her Bible. She got a new Bible case one day and she could not wait to come in and show me her Bible case because she's so excited about it. Why? Because I've made reading our Bibles at church an importance. With my actions and the way that I plan, I've shown it's important. And it's gotten, I I taught it and now it's been caught. I am equipping parents to read the Bible at home. I'm sending home resources that get them into God's word.

I'm warning them and encouraging them to watch what is given access to their kids.

So that they can stay rooted and grounded, to keep that prowling enemy away from our kids. I would love to, if you've got questions about, hey, how do I better minister to parents? Because being realistic, you as a children's ministry leader, kids are your preference, and you kind of have to deal with adults. My first year on the job in full-time ministry.

Amber Pike (21:47.065)
Feedback I get at like yearly review was that someone had complained, Amber's great with the kids, but she doesn't really talk to us. Because I was 21 and I don't like adults and it was really awkward. And I had to step out of my comfort zone to talk to these adults more than just here's our next event. It's not always easy. It it's awkward, uncomfortable, especially if you feel like it's out of your gift ink. So if you are like, How do I equip moms and dads? I've I've told you before, but we are, if you're watching this live,

We are nearing the newest registration course for the Family Ministry Academy. We're starting a new cohort on October 1st. I mean this when I say it will change how you do ministry. It will help you to do children's ministry with a family first mentality so that while you're doing children's ministry, great and amazing, and discipling those kids, you are equipping mom and dad to disciple. And it's not getting our priorities out of order. It's putting them in the right order where we are equipping moms and dads and we're discipling at church, and boom, amazing things can happen in homes.

Would love to tell you about it. It's also because of a grant we have, it's $100. So you are getting a master's level. Honestly, it's doctorate level because Dr. Josh Mulvahill is amazing. This is amazing theology. You're doing it in your church. Practical, it's built by people who've served in church. So I still serve in church. Josh, full-time church staff for decades and still volunteers in his church. It's practical.

And it will change how you do ministry and it will help you equip moms and dads so they can be the disciple makers that God commanded them to do. Reach out to me. You can find out more at familyministry.org. Ask questions. It's a hundred dollars, guys. A hundred dollars totally worth it. You can change the culture of the families in your church. Hey, how are you teaching these things to your parents? That attendance matters, reading the Bible matters, and gatekeeping their homes matters. You see where I'm going here with the segue.

And remember what you do matters.