Episode 140
In this episode, I explore how complex trauma affects our ability to make spiritual discernment by making it difficult for us to have "holy indifference". Often times we know we struggle to have that detachment we need to make a good discernment, but we don't realise that our difficulties may not be due to spiritual failings but because of the wounds in our embodied emotional capacity for authentic, secure love.
I discuss the importance of a secure attachment with God, the impact of trauma on our nervous system, how that affects our interior freedom, and how healing and integration can restore interior freedom in the discernment process.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Trauma and Spiritual Discernment
04:43 What Discernment Isn't
14:28 How Trauma Impacts Discernment
18:26 How Healing Transforms Discernment
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Is your experience of spiritual discernment one of deep security and detachment or are you often anxious about "making the correct discernment"? Can you identify one way in which complex trauma has affected the way you approach spiritual discernment?
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Episode 139
In this episode, I address a thought-provoking question from one of my subscribers who asked how can we experience the unconditional love of God. I delve into the concept of embodied spirituality, underscoring the indispensability of involving our entire being—body, senses, and soul—in our spiritual journey to connect with God's love more authentically.
I share practical methods to engage with God in daily life which serve as pathways to recognise and feel His presence more tangibly. Moreover, I distinguish between feeling loved by God and truly soaking in His unconditional love. I discuss the significant role of psychological healing in experiencing God's love, highlighting techniques like inner child reparenting and the Internal Family Systems theory for deeper self-acceptance and love.
I conclude by inviting viewers to embrace living the questions of their spiritual journey, focusing less on the unhealed parts of themselves and more on remaining attentive and responsive to God's ongoing presence and invitations to healing in our lives.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you asked God to let you experience his unconditional love? Do you do so regularly? (It is perhaps the simplest and most important prayer for our healing and integration journey!)
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Episode 138
In this personal narrative, I discuss my journey as a recovering complex trauma survivor, grappling with a deep-seated fear of criticism, judgment, and rejection, and how these fears intersect with my faith and my walk with Christ.
I explore the concept of interior integration and the realisation that my fear of criticism was not just about a lack of faith, but a signal of deeper issues stemming from complex trauma and a lack of secure attachment with both myself and God.
This sharing highlights my shift from viewing my fears through a purely spiritual lens to embracing a more integrated approach that incorporates psychological insight. I reflect on the importance of establishing boundaries, cultivating self-compassion, and adopting an embodied spirituality that brings healing to our relationship with God and ourselves.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction
02:10 Spiritual vs. Integrated Approaches
06:57 Healing Through Integration and Boundaries
19:51 Overcoming Fear of Criticism
22:52 The Power of Love and Secure Attachment
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Are you very easily affected by praise or criticism too? What new perspective from this episode did you find helpful in your struggles with fearing criticism?
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Episode 137
In this episode, I delve into the journey of personal vocation discernment across different stages of faith, inspired by the book 'The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith'. I share my insights on how our inner journey and the process of discerning our personal calling evolves from the initial stages of discovering God, moving through discipleship and productivity, to questioning, doubt and interior wrestling, and finally towards a deeper integration and living out our vocation.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Book: The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
How have you been approaching the discernment of your personal vocation? How has this episode given you new insight to your own journey and experience of discernment?
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Bonus Episode 136
In this episode, I share some updates as my subscriber count has grown across various platforms. Whether you're new to my content or a long-time follower, I introduce myself, my journey, and my mission behind creating content to support the interior integration journey of deepening intimacy with God and psychological and emotional healing.
I discuss the integration of intellectual and relational dimensions of faith, my personal experiences, and how they shape my content. I'll also provide updates on future content consolidation, my evolving journey, and why there might be a slower pace of new content in the near future. Your support and prayers during this time mean a lot to me. Let's continue this journey together!
Watch this recording on YouTube.
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If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 135
In this episode, I delve into the transition many of us experience from spiritual fervour to spiritual maturity, especially during deep healing and integration. I discuss the differences between these stages, focusing on their characteristics and how we respond to suffering.
By sharing my personal experiences and insights into the stages of faith development, I aim to reassure you that losing initial spiritual passion is a natural part of maturing in faith. Join me as I offer a look at how this journey helps us love more like God does. I hope this gives you hope and a new perspective on your spiritual path.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction to Spiritual Midlife Crisis
05:05 Personal Journey Through Spiritual Crisis
06:40 Discovering New Ways to Connect with God
10:31 Navigating Spiritual Desert and Rediscovery
18:19 Encountering Spiritual Midlife: A Turning Point
21:22 Exploring the Midlife Spiritual Journey
22:28 The Critical Journey: Understanding Spiritual Midlife
23:59 The Wall: The Place of Crisis
24:50 Integration and Healing: The Core of Spiritual Midlife
28:44 Seeking Support and Resources During Spiritual Midlife
38:07 The Importance of Trauma-Informed Support
40:09 Embracing Uncertainty and Transformation
41:16 Finding Your Path and Support in Spiritual Midlife
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?
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Episode 134
Join me in this candid episode as I engage in a heartfelt conversation with trauma-informed and somatic-trained Catholic spiritual guide Edwina Yeow, founder of Anam Cara Ministries (Singapore). We delve into the deep connection between trauma, spirituality, and our relationship with God. Edwina, a seasoned Catholic spiritual director with 30 years of experience, shares invaluable insights on integrating spiritual direction, psychology, and somatic awareness to address trauma’s impact on our relationship with God.
We discuss the importance of involving the body in spiritual healing and the role trauma plays in shaping our religious scripts. This episode encourages a spirit of curiosity towards healing, self-love, and deeper intimacy with God through a trauma-informed perspective.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my newsletter Begin Again for written reflections about the interior journey.
RESOURCES
Edwina Yeow's website.
Other episodes with Edwina Yeow
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Which part of this conversation resonated with you the most? What could God be inviting you to ponder with him in your heart about the fears you have of losing his love for you?
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Episode 133
In this episode, I share my personal experience with spiritual midlife crisis.
I share about the difficult and transformative phases of my journey, including moments of doubt, deep introspection, and the deconstruction of my previously held beliefs and practices. Through this challenging journey, I discovered crucial resources that guided me to understand the stages of faith development and the significance of the 'Wall', a pivotal point in one's spiritual midlife.
I emphasise the importance of integrating one's emotional and spiritual aspects and the crucial role of seeking support through spiritual direction and psychotherapy.
Resource:
The Critical Journey, Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich
Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr
When the Heart Waits: Spiritual Direction for Life's Sacred Questions by Sue Monk Kidd
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
See episode page for more details.
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
How have you experienced God's grace in moments of difficulty? In what ways do you need to trust that His grace is sufficient for your current challenges? Are there moments when you feel like you can’t keep going? How can you show yourself compassion during these times, knowing that it’s normal to feel this way? Remind yourself of God's compassion when you're feeling discouraged and trust in God, even when others don’t fully grasp what you’re going through.
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Episode 132
In this episode, I introduce and share reflections from “The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith," by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich. This remarkable resource opened my eyes to the stages of faith development, reinforcing the crucial role of experiential learning and integrating emotional healing with spiritual growth.
I share insights from each of the six stages described in the book, weaving in reflections on my own progression and the introspective challenges encountered, especially the profound impact of confronting 'The Wall' in Stage 4.
My aim is to offer solace by sharing my story and insights on navigating the complex landscapes of faith, hoping it will resonate with others on their own spiritual journeys, encouraging them towards embracing their path with understanding and compassion.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:00:59) - Resource Introduction
(00:02:05) - Discovering "The Critical Journey"
(00:05:05) - Stages of Faith Development
(00:13:50) - Stage 1: Recogition of God
(00:15:09) - Stage 2: Life of Discpleship
(00:17:34) - Stage 3: The Productive Life
(00:22:13) - Stage 4: The Journey Inward
(00:35:06) - Stage 5: The Journey Outward
(00:38:30) - Stage 6: Life of Love
(00:48:13) - Final Thoughts
(00:49:24) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Reflect on your own journey towards healing and integration. How has your awareness evolved over time? Consider how your ability to serve others has changed. Who are you best able to support now compared to the past? Recall moments when you felt truly seen and understood in your struggles. What made those moments significant?
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Episode 131
In this episode, I share my personal journey from having a disembodied faith, which was largely intellectual and disconnected from my emotional and physical experiences, to developing an embodied faith that integrates my beliefs with all aspects of my life. I delve into what disembodied faith means, why many of us experience faith this way, and the transformative process towards embodying our faith.
Through my own story of interior healing and integration, I highlight three key signs that indicate a shift towards a more incarnate, lived faith, emphasising the importance of embracing the messiness and challenges of this journey. The goal is to offer hope and understanding for those on the path to a more holistic and authentic experience of faith.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00:25) - Introduction
(00:03:52) - What is "Disembodied Faith"?
(00:10:47) - Why is our Faith Disembodied?
(00:15:27) - Three Signs of Disembodied Faith
(00:15:36) - Preoccupation with Understanding the Content of our Faith
(00:17:13) - Discrepancies Start to Bother Us
(00:19:39) - We are more Drawn to People in Touch with their Humanity
(00:21:06) - You can't Force on Yourself the "Right Thing"
(00:24:09) - Befriending our Emotions
(00:27:31) - Not being Afraid of Criticism
(00:30:42) - Secure in Love
(00:40:00) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
Social Media:
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Newsletter:
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Support the Show:
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 130
In this episode, I share my deep personal reflections on what it means to lay down my life in alignment with Christ, but without feeling lesser for it. Growing up in an enmeshed family system with rigid expectations of selflessness, ingrained through my Catholic upbringing, I faced challenges in understanding genuine self-sacrifice.
I discuss the subtle yet critical difference between self-abandonment—a state that breeds resentment and diminishes self-worth—and genuine self-gift which is free and joyful, enriching both myself and others.
My aim is to guide listeners on a path towards emotional health and authentic self-giving, highlighting the impact on family, faith, and self-perception of our ability to love authentically.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction: Reflecting on Self-Sacrifice and Authentic Living
00:37 Exploring the Roots: Family, Faith, and Self-Perception
01:35 The Struggle with Self-Abandonment and Seeking Approval
04:45 Discovering the Difference: Self-Abandonment vs. Self-Gift
07:38 The Journey Towards Emotional Health and Authentic Self-Gift
11:15 Understanding Self-Abandonment: Signs and Consequences
19:36 Embracing Self-Gift: The Path to Freedom and Joy
28:44 Conclusion: The Power of Authentic Self-Gift and Healing
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle to make an authentic self-gift of yourself without abandoning yourself? Where might you have learned that abandoning yourself is a good thing? Are you open to changing your mind and believing that it is authentic self-gift that Christ is inviting you to make?
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 129
In this episode, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Catholic author and trauma therapist Brya Hanan. We delve into the complexities of trauma, particularly how it intersects with our faith journey. We explore how experiencing a resistance to going to church and attending mass can be a trauma response, and the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing these issues. This conversation aims to open up a space for greater empathy and curiosity about the unseen struggles of others, offering hope and guidance for those grappling with trauma in their spiritual lives.
GUEST PROFILE: BRYA HANAN LMFT
Watch this recording on YouTube.
RESOURCES ON SPIRITUAL TRAUMA
Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD.
The Lord Is My Shepherd: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love by KJ Ramsey
The Holy/Hurt Podcast by Dr. Hillary L McBride
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - Special Guest: Brya Hanan, Catholic Trauma Therapist
(00:01:46) - Personal Journey of Faith and Trauma
(00:03:24) - Understanding Trauma Responses
(00:05:31) - Reconnecting with Faith
(00:06:18) - The Impact of Trauma in a Church Setting
(00:08:26) - What Inner Child Healing Can Do
(00:11:43) - Integrating Therapy and Faith
(00:15:39) - Being Trauma-Informed
(00:24:20) - Trauma and Religious Practices
(00:33:45) - Understanding Our Bodies
(00:34:09) - Can I Will Myself? Is it all in my Mind?
(00:36:00) - The Impact of Trauma Responses
(00:43:49) - What goes on Behind the Scenes with Trauma
(00:47:22) - Integrating Faith and Holistic Healing
(00:51:47) - Useful Resources
(00:54:38) - Final Thoughts
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you been struggling with going to mass or with something similar? Do you notice how your body feels and reacts? This could be an impact of trauma. Has there anything else in this episode that speaks to you?
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Episode 128
In this final episode of the season, I share how my understanding of faithfulness has evolved as I healed. Initially, my understanding of faithfulness was deeply rooted in a binary, performance-based perspective, influenced by my cultural and religious upbringing. I viewed it as a straightforward measure of adherence to a set of religious practices and moral standards, essentially a checklist that delineated a clear boundary between being faithful and unfaithful.
This perspective was challenged and eventually transformed through a journey of interior healing and unlearning, prompted by encounters with others who shared their struggles and a pivotal personal retreat that revealed the inadequacy of my foundational beliefs about faithfulness. I came to realise that faithfulness is not about meeting a predefined set of criteria perfectly but about authentic engagement with God's love and grace amidst our imperfections.
This new understanding of faithfulness as dynamic, multi-layered, and diverse in expression, deeply influenced by personal context and inner disposition, has significantly altered how I perceive myself and others, fostering a more compassionate and nuanced view of our collective striving towards faithfulness.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?
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Episode 127
In this podcast episode, I open up about a deeply personal and often stigmatised issue - my struggle with compulsions and addictions. I discuss how these issues are not only challenging to confront but are also shrouded in shame and secrecy, particularly when they deal with substance abuse or sex.
Drawing from my experiences, I reflect on the societal pressure to maintain an image of responsibility and control, and how even socially acceptable compulsions, like binge-watching TV or overworking, can trigger feelings of shame. I share the profound impact that self-criticism and a lack of compassion have had on my journey, emphasising the pivotal role of interior integration in my healing process.
Through exploring concepts like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the importance of understanding the underlying trauma behind compulsive behaviors, I advocate for a compassionate approach to oneself. The episode highlights my transformation towards self-love, emphasising that divine love and self-compassion are crucial for overcoming compulsions and addictions and finding wholeness.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:01:36) - The Shame of Compulsions and Addictions
(00:02:49) - Personal Struggles and Shame
(00:06:05) - The Cycle of Addiction and Repentance
(00:11:34) - Experiencing God's Unconditional Love
(00:15:41) - The Role of Self-Compassion
(00:28:16) - Internal Family Systems (IFS)
(00:29:07) - 1. Managers
(00:29:50) - 2. Exiles
(00:30:48) - 3. Firefighters
(00:37:15) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself in similar patterns of compulsion? Are you able to recognise the root of these addictions and compulsions? Think about some of the ways you have been using certain compulsions and habits to escape unpleasantness in your life. Is there a better way?
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Episode 126
In this episode, I delve into a poignant question raised during a webinar Q&A session about whether connecting with oneself inevitably enhances our connections with others, especially when expressing our true selves might not be warmly accepted by everyone.
I unravel the complexities surrounding authentic connections, emphasising the significance of embracing our true selves for genuine interactions and personal growth. I reflect on personal experiences and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships.
I explore the indicators of growth on this journey, highlighting the fruits of the Holy Spirit as markers of deep, authentic self-connection and its profound impact on our relationships. This episode aims to broaden our understanding of how true self-connection can foster more meaningful and authentic relationships, despite the challenges that may arise.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:00:58) - Unveiling the True Self
(00:02:33) - Addressing a Vital Question: Authenticity and Connection
(00:05:25) - Exploring the Nuances of Authentic Connections
(00:09:17) - The Challenge of Being True to Oneself
(00:16:17) - Authenticity in Relationships
(00:23:37) - Indicators of Growth in the Interior Journey
(00:23:59) - Fruits of the Holy Spirit
(00:33:25) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
How has this episode resonated with you? Do you struggle with authenticity and living out your true self? What are some factors that make it challenging? Think about the relationships and connections in your life. Do you think they are authentic?
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Support the Show:
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Leave a Review:
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Episode 125
In this episode of our current series, I delve into the topic of whether choosing a therapist or spiritual director of the same faith, specifically Christian or Catholic, is crucial for one's journey towards interior integration. How important is a therapist’s faith in their effectiveness for our interior journey and how much difference would having a Christian/Catholic therapist make vs one who doesn’t share our faith?
In this video I unpack the subconscious assumptions we have about Christian/Catholic therapists and systematically explain why a therapist’s professional competence and ability to offer a safe, judgment-free space for healing is much more important than their professed faith in helping us in our interior integration journey.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:00:48) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:02:03) - Choosing a Catholic / Christian Therapist
(00:03:38) - The Significance of a Therapist's Faith
(00:13:33) - Why Professional Competence Outweighs Faith in Therapy
(00:19:23) - Understanding What 'Catholic Therapist' Really Means
(00:26:36) - The Impact of Professional Competence and Integrity
(00:29:43) - Navigating Therapy with Faith and Emotional Healing
(00:31:44) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:32:26) - Personal Responsibility in Therapy and Integration
(00:43:56) - The Role of a Therapist's Faith
(00:57:06) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
After listening to my sharing, how do you feel? Do you still think that a counsellor or therapist of the same faith is important? Why do you feel this way? If you have been for counselling or therapy, what was your experience like? Was it a safe space for you? If you're looking to start your counselling journey, what do you look for in a counsellor or therapist?
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Support the Show:
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Episode 124
In this episode, I delve into the continuation of my exploration on seeking guidance, pivoting from the quest for a spiritual director to the intricate process of choosing a therapist. I reveal key considerations that have shaped my approach, highlighting the vital step of discerning which 'layer of life' demands healing - be it surface-level challenges or the deeper, foundational issues of one's core self.
Drawing from my own experiences with counseling and psychotherapy, I elucidate the differences between the two, emphasising how they cater to distinct needs, from coping with immediate external stressors to addressing profound and complex traumas. Additionally, I address pragmatic aspects like budgeting for therapy sessions and the importance of a therapist's qualifications, their understanding of trauma, and their commitment to professional growth.
This is a highly practical episode for listeners new to discerning whether a therapist is a good match for them.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - Continuing My Sharing: From Spiritual Directors to Therapists
(00:03:48) - Understanding the Layers of Life for Healing
(00:08:42) - Choosing Between Counseling and Psychotherapy
(00:16:59) - Starting Your Therapeutic Journey: Tips and Considerations
(00:26:52) - Navigating Budget and Professional Expertise in Therapy
(00:37:34) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Has anything from my sharing resonated with you? Do you feel like you have plateaued in this season of your journey? Could you be in a space of needing something different, something more? Consider this for a moment, and be open to where God may lead you. What might your next step be?
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Episode 123
In this in-depth episode, I share my personal experiences and insights on the importance and process of selecting a spiritual director to guide one's spiritual journey. I outline five key considerations that have proved pivotal in my journey: assessing the spiritual director's emotional and spiritual maturity, understanding my current spiritual needs and season, recognising the stage of my interior journey, considering my budget and the different types of spiritual directors available, and finally, the critical role of discernment in action, emphasizing the reliance on synchronicity and God's guidance.
Alongside these considerations, I share my reflections, personal anecdotes and recommend several books that have greatly aided me in navigating my own spiritual path.
Books mentioned:
The Friend of the Bridegroom by Thomas H. Green SJ
Experiencing God: The Three Stages of Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Opening to God: A Guide to Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Armchair Mystic: How Contemplative Prayer Can Lead You Closer to God by Mark Thibodeaux SJ
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:14) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director
(00:04:53) - Five Key Considerations for Selecting a Spiritual Director
(00:14:56) - Understanding Your Needs and Where You are on Your Journey
(00:26:20) - Practical Aspects: Budget and Types of Spiritual Directors
(00:35:32) - Taking Action in Your Discernment Process
(00:37:49) - The Grace of Synchronicity in Spiritual Guidance
(00:42:19) - Transitioning Between Spiritual Directors: Embracing Change
(00:49:25) - Navigating Seasons Without a Spiritual Director
(00:51:23) - Leveraging Books for Spiritual Direction and Growth
(01:01:34) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Has any of the five key considerations resonated with you in my sharing? Perhaps you have experienced and noticed one or more of these considerations in your life. Are there any the signs that you should discern changing your current spiritual director? What might your experience of these signs be? If you do not yet have a spiritual director, which of these consideration
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Episode 122
This episode covers practical advice for individuals deeply invested in their integrated spiritual and emotional healing journeys. I particularly emphasise the importance of recognising when it might be time to change one's spiritual director or therapist and provide listeners with THREE signs that may indicate that it is time for a change.
There is often a natural evolution in such guidance relationships because progress in one's spiritual journey may necessitate change due to the different stages of personal development and the inherent limitations of any single guide.
Three main signs indicating the need for a new spiritual direction or therapeutic relationship are elaborated upon: the feeling of plateauing in one's growth, a change in the dynamics of the relationship that may challenge its professional boundaries, and a reduction in the feeling of safety with the current spiritual director or therapist.
The discussion also stresses the importance of being trauma-informed and recognising when deeper therapeutic work is needed beyond spiritual direction. This episode will help listeners discern their needs more effectively and make changes that support their ongoing spiritual and emotional growth.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director or Counselor
(00:04:39) - Understanding the Need for Change in Spiritual Guidance
(00:10:11) - Sign #1: You're No Longer Growing
(00:16:26) - Sign #2: The Relationship Has Changed
(00:21:29) - Sign #3: You No Longer Feel Safe
(00:30:43) - Navigating the Transition: Moving On
(00:36:11) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything resonate with you in my Live sharing? Have you experienced any of the three signs that I've shared? Perhaps you have experienced more that one of the signs. What is stopping you from moving on to other resources?
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Episode 121
In this episode of Becoming Me, I delve into the contemplative heart of interior integration. I talk about the integration of spirituality, psychology, neuroscience, and other fields as essential in the journey of self-discovery. Using metaphors and reflecting on my own experiences, I emphasise the role of contemplation in managing life's paradoxes and challenges.
I explain how contemplation, or being with God, serves as a foundational point, helping us embrace our complexities and live out our faith deeply. I offer assurance that, despite the complexities of the interior integration journey, finding stability in contemplation can bring peace and grace into our lives. I also suggest ways to cultivate awareness to recognise contemplative moments daily, guiding listeners towards profound self-understanding and a closer relationship with the divine.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Heart of Interior Integration
(00:09:42) - Exploring the Contemplative Heart
(00:12:40) - The Power of Contemplation in Healing
(00:15:41) - Embracing Paradoxes and Tensions
(00:21:10) - Contemplation: Beyond "Saying Prayers"
(00:23:01) - Real-Life Examples of Contemplation
(00:37:58) - Cultivating Awareness and Stillness
(00:40:11) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
What is contemplation? Do you find yourself being constantly busy? Have you experienced the stillness of God's love? Perhaps there has been an instance of this experience of stillness, even during a crisis. How can you live a life of contemplation?
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Episode 120
In this episode I highlight three common spiritual blocks: the inability to develop a close and intimate relationship with God, the struggle with being still and silent, and the challenges of discernment and decision-making.
We often think of these as spiritual blocks, but in my experience, they have a lot to do with attachment trauma. Spirituality rests on the bedrock of our humanity, it is part of our humanity not apart from it. Our nervous system, body, our emotions, our rational mind - they all form an organic WHOLE that is much more than the sum of each part.
This sharing will be particularly beneficial for spiritual directors and formators who may have more learning on spiritual development but less knowledge on how attachment wounds affect people’s ability to mature spiritually.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - The Journey of Integration: A Personal Story
(00:01:23) - Exploring the Intersection of Spirituality and Personal Growth
(00:04:17) - The Role of Emotional Healing in Spiritual Direction
(00:07:27) - Unveiling Three Spiritual Blocks Linked to Attachment Trauma
(00:08:04) - The Impact of Religion and Spirituality on Mental Health
(00:10:05) - Navigating Spiritual Blocks: Personal Reflections and Insights
(00:25:40) - Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Influence on Spirituality
(00:40:33) - Different Perspectives of Perfection and Wholeness
(00:50:00) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced any of the three common spiritual blocks I've spoken about? Do you perhaps recognise these blocks in people close to you, in your communities? Think about an instance where you had to discern. How did it make you feel? Did you feel safe? Did you feel unconditionally loved by God?
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Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
Newsletter:
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Support the Show:
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 119
In this episode, I discuss the concept of spiritualising forgiveness and its implications in faith and daily life. I talk about how the struggles many people often face in integrating love and forgiveness in their lives are due to an insecure attachment with God and a fear of not doing the right thing.
I talk about the pitfalls of spiritualising forgiveness and how true forgiveness should lead to human flourishing rather than spiritual subjugation. I discuss the necessity of healing ourselves instead of just focusing on forgiving others, arguing that forgiveness is both a journey and God's work, not ours alone. I conclude this episode by offering practical advice on working towards forgiveness within a secure relationship with God.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:13) - Introduction
(00:00:50) - Exploring the Struggless with Forgiveness
(00:03:34) - Three Signs Indicating you may be Spiritualising Forgiveness
(00:09:32) - Understanding the True Essesnce of Forgiveness
(00:23:09) - Real-Life Complexities of Forgiveness in our Relationships
(00:29:48) - Exploring the Process of Forgiveness
(00:30:40) - Why do we Spiritualise Forgiveness
(00:38:41) - Embracing the Vastness of God's Love
(00:47:24) - How to Navigate our Emotions and Forgiveness
(00:55:04) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you recognise any of the three signs of spiritualization in your life? Is your attachement with God secure? Perhaps, there is a more concrete step which you can take towards recognising spiritualising forgiveness in your life and relationships. What might that be?
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Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 118
In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of self-care, self-love, and how they relate to spirituality from a Christian perspective. I challenge the common misconception within some Christian circles that self-care may be seen as a sign of weakness or indulgence.
I emphasise the importance of recognising our individual, personal needs for care and suggest that neglect of self-care might stem from past trauma. I encourage listeners to understand self-care as an expression of accepting God's love and affirm our worthiness for care, taking time to meet our physical needs without feeling guilty or indulgent.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:21 - Introduction
00:50 - Exploring the Complexities of Self-Care in our Faith
01:50 - The Misconceptions of Self-Care
06:04 - Self-Care: Indulgence vs. Discipline
13:33 - The Importance of Understanding Personal Needs
17:42 - Personalism vs. Individualism: A Deeper Dive
26:45 - Embracing Self-Care Without Shame
32:05 - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
What is your relationship with self-care and self-love? Does it bring up negative feelings or experiences for you? Perhaps you have judged yourself harshing for indulging in self-care, or recognise this in others. How can we be free to care for ourselves?
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 117
In this in-depth discussion, I provide a Christian perspective on the journey of healing from complex trauma within a dysfunctional family setting. Six gentle reminders are shared for those trying to manage relationships within such dynamics: acknowledging the enmity; having a trustworthy third party; remembering self-abandonment is not love; not measuring up to an imagined ideal; grounding oneself in God's infinite love; and understanding that God sees the hidden suffering.
I emphasise the need for truth, self-protection, understanding the nature of abuse, the necessity of setting boundaries, and the importance of grounding oneself in God's unconditional love.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:23) - Introduction
(00:01:16) - The Challenges of Integration and Discipleship
(00:03:08) - Navigating Love and Enmity within Our Families
(00:04:10) - The Complexities of Healing and Relationships
(00:07:36) - Recognising and Addressing Toxic Family Dynamics
(00:11:05) - Six Gentle Reminders for Navigating Toxic Relathionships
(00:32:48) - Dealing with the Impacts of Setting Boundaries
(00:45:02) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything in my sharing resonate with you strongly? Think about the six reminders that I've shared about in this episode. Which of these are the hardest to live out? Which of these reminders give you the most comfort on this journey?
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
Episode 116
In this episode I examine the connection between past emotional trauma and present conflicts in relationships. Aided by three personal stories, I illustrate how past familial conflicts have influenced my own internal emotional regulation triggering conflicts in my current relationships, especially within my marriage.
I also share how greater self-awareness can lessen the severity of conflicts, promote reconciliation, and foster greater empathy in relationships. I encourage listeners to explore their emotional patterns noticing how certain behaviours might be influenced by past experiences and unresolved issues.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:00:53) - Understanding the Importance of Interior Integration and Interior Healing
(00:03:04) - My Journey of Conflict and Self-Discovery
(00:05:57) - The Role of Past Experiences in Current Conflicts
(00:13:07) - Example: The Impact of Financial Sress on my Relationships
(00:19:55) - Recognising and Addressing Emotional Triggers
(00:28:42) - The Journey of Self-Awareness and Healing
(00:35:23) - The Importance of Repairing Relationships
(00:38:40) - Conclusion
TRANSCRIPT
Available here.
REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you found yourself uncontrollably upset at someone or at a situation? Are the triggers in your life forming a pattern? Sometimes, we don't realised the effect our wounds have on our body. Certain incidents may trigger something in us, without us cognitively knowing first. Have you experienced something similar? What are your triggers? What are your patterns?
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT
Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.
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Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.
Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.
How Complex Trauma Impacts Spiritual Discernment
27:28
How can I experience the unconditional love of God?
37:17
How Interior Integration helps us with our Fear of Criticism
33:21
Personal Vocation Discernment through the Stages of Faith
37:16
Podcast Update and Welcome to New Listeners
18:01
What's the Difference between Spiritual Fervour and Spiritual Maturity?
39:06
A Trauma-Informed Perspective to Spiritual Growth (with Edwina Yeow)
1:33:46
Journeying Through Spiritual Midlife Crisis
41:43
Stages of Maturing Faith: Insights From "The Critical Journey"
50:19
Journeying Towards A More Embodied and Authentic Faith
40:56
Distinguishing Between Self-Abandonment and Authentic Self-Gift
33:05
Why Not Going To Church Can Be A Trauma Response
1:00:36
Embracing Complexity: Rediscovering Faithfulness In The Healing Journey
49:59
Finding Self-Love Amidst Compulsions & Addictions
38:18
Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections
34:28
How Important Is It To Choose A Catholic/Christian Therapist?
58:10
4 Considerations When Choosing A Therapist
38:38
5 Considerations When Choosing A Spiritual Director
1:02:37
Is It Time to Change Your Spiritual Director or Therapist?
37:14
The Contemplative Heart of Interior Integration
41:17
3 Spiritual Blocks That Stem From Attachment Trauma
51:08
Are You Spiritualising Forgiveness?
56:12
The Essential Role of Self-Care In The Interior Journey
33:13
Navigating Healing of Relationships In Dysfunctional Families: A Christian Perspective
46:10
Primed For Conflict: The Link Between Our Present & Our Past
39:49