Shoestrings and empty nests

Some phrases stick with you and relate more than others to you and your life. Shoestrings and empty nests are two such phrases for me. Of course, both mean entirely different things and have varying theories to their origins. Used in different contexts, a shoestring budget means to stretch monies and empty nests bring their own challenges but also new perspectives. Join me on this podcast to explore these phrases, experiences with shoestring vacations including a honeymoon and gardening as well as dealing with our own empty nest. 

Transcript

Shoestrings and empty nests

Hello Everyone and welcome to the podcast of the Ordinary Maverick. This is Ajey, your host, an ordinary Maverick sharing real life thoughts and experiences and Maverick tips. If you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet, please do so, and you’ll not miss another episode.

Shoestrings and empty nests, it’s funny how some phrases just stick with you and also relate more than others to you and your life. For me, these 2 phrases bring back different memories over the years. Shoestrings or shoelaces, such ordinary things, right? But important. I mean one can’t wear shoes if you don’t have shoestrings! And of course, they are readily available, pretty cheap and something that one doesn’t think twice about. Over the years, there’s fashion associated with shoestrings as well….different colors, bright, neon ones as well as having matching laces for your shoes or even customizing the laces as per the shoes. Fascinating how the accessories to our dressing from head to toe have evolved over the years. That is definitely something to explore further in another podcast.

For this one, let’s look at the origin of the phrase, ‘on a shoestring’. I’m sure we’ve heard it and also used it ourselves. Mostly in the context of money, you know…like, we did this vacation on a shoestring budget or this business was started on a shoestring budget. Well, where did it come from? ‘Shoestring’ typically means a small amount of  money which is generally not enough to fulfil its intended outcome. And the term used in budgeting processes is ‘shoestring budget’. And here’s another term, Bootstrapping. It refers to those who live or work with shoestring budgets but learn to stretch their resources.

Interestingly there are a few theories on its origin. One theory is that you know sometimes when a shoelace breaks, we often stretch it to tie our shoes or then leave part of our shoe open….well, it’s the same with money that must stretch to achieve the bare minimum. That’s why it’s called a shoestring budget. Ha ha. Another theory is that in olden times there were these wandering peddlers who would sell or trade small items going from town to town. These items included needles, pots and shoelaces. Apparently, shoelaces were very popular. And these wandering peddlers charged very little and also earned a very meager income….so some believe that this is the connection of the term ‘shoestring’ to a small amount of money. In any case, there is no firm understanding of the origins of this phrase. However, it is one that is widely used especially with money…or shall I say the lack of it!

Well, it reminds me of the time when I was starting out on life, first job, not much savings, trying to buy a house…I’ve spoken about that in an earlier podcast too. But we pretty much lived on a shoestring budget at the time. And when we got married and went on our honeymoon…well, that was a honeymoon on a shoestring! Ha ha. Let me share some tips that worked for us. It’s pretty much a standard practice all over the world for newly weds to go off someplace….and its called a honey moon. There’s a story there too on its origins..but let’s get back to our discussion about shoestrings. At the time, we very much wanted to go for a holiday, a vacation, popularly known as the honeymoon after our wedding. The only problem was we were working off a shoestring budget! But let me tell you, we ended up having the most beautiful, to be envied honeymoon and yes, it was pretty much on a shoestring.

Now what did we do? Firstly, we avoided all the ‘typical’ honeymoon destinations….these were super expensive and came with premium costs. We both loved beaches, the ocean and so we opted for a lesser known place by the sea. Secondly, instead of the five and seven star properties and hotels, we explored the State run properties and came across a true gem. It was the summer palace of the ruling dynasty at one time….right on the beach. You know, the Government properties typically have the best locations and we were super lucky to get a suite there at fantastic rates….well within our shoestring budget. The property was a recently acquired one so not that well known. In fact, when we arrived there, we were the only guests! It was just perfect ….Imagine, just us in this magnificent huge palace in their best room overlooking the sea. The rooms were palatial, with a living area, huge bathroom, and a beautiful balcony that was so big, it had a bed for lazing and enjoying the view! We got royal treatment considering we were the only guests there! And I have to admit, it was one of our most memorable holidays ….of course, it was our honeymoon too! I guess this experience has remained with us and we always look for the ’off the beaten track’ kind of places to visit and stay and we’ve never been disappointed!

During that time, we traveled by train, in the AC first class coupes. These are for 2 people, very private and super comfortable and again easy on the budget as compared to taking flights. So, fellow Mavericks, vacations, even honeymoons can be done with shoestring budgets. Don’t let money be the limiting factor in satisfying the Maverick spirit of exploration. Take note of the tips – look for State run properties, off season is always better, and off the beaten track, lesser touristy places….believe you me, you not only get the best price but also have the most amazing quality time and not to mention the added bonus of discovering new ground before the ‘tou rists’ have done so!

Speaking of shoestring budgets, here’s something interesting that I’ve come across…. ‘Gardening on a shoestring! Now, what does this mean? Often we see gardens and feel, gosh, I wish I had space to have a garden, or I would love to have plants, but just don’t have the money. We go to these gardening shops and the prices for plants, and pots as well as all the other things that are needed, soil etc can be a deterrent to our gardening intentions. One of my hobbies is gardening and I love it. Over the years have loved creating gardens wherever we’ve lived. Cost?  Well, next to nothing…. it wasn’t so much about the money per se but more for the sheer joy of creating something that gives so much joy and having fun while doing it. So, I would grow from seeds and in whichever container or grounds that were available at the time. Old kitchen utensils, buckets, cans, mugs….and the end result – sheer beauty. Cost – shoestrings! In fact, our chilly plant in South Africa gave us so many chilies, hundreds in fact, that we never ever needed to buy chilies from the market all through our time there. If you haven’t tried your hand at gardening yet and if by any chance, it’s the cost that’s making you pause…well, take that out from your minds. It is very much possible to have a garden paradise on a shoestring budget…I know that from experience.

So, coming to the other phrase ‘Empty nest’. Well, actually, there are 3 things. The Empty nest, the empty nesters and the empty nest syndrome. All very much interlinked. An Empty nest or empty nesters are homes where grown up children have left home for study, work and there are unoccupied rooms in the house and also the parents are left behind. Commonly, referred to as empty nesters. And the grief and sadness that results can lead to the empty nest syndrome. There are 3 things that empty nesters feel, one is grief – just that feeling of deep sadness; two – emptiness – suddenly life can feel empty and three is fear and worry – the uncertainty and being afraid of life ahead. 

I mean think about it for years, more than a decade and half or even two decades in some cases, where lives revolved around children, now suddenly, the kids are gone and parents are left alone. It’s like a boat that’s lost its rudder. 

 , both me and my wife became empty nesters some years back. And while some may get a few years between children leaving home, in our instance, we only had a year. It was back to back and our ‘nest’ was empty. I have to say, I didn’t quite take it that well. It was a challenge for me to walk past their rooms feeling the emptiness and knowing that our girls were not there. So, I found a solution, keep the doors closed! Ha ha….yes, it may sound funny, but just the simple act of closing the door helped hugely. I could just kind of pretend that they were inside their rooms and not feel the emptiness each time I walked past an empty room. Both my wife and I went through this period of adjustment as empty nesters…perhaps it will resonate with some of you listening in too. It was almost like one has ‘withdrawal symptoms’….like such intense feelings of loneliness that would set in, and you really missed the kids. We would call them constantly, while having dinner, on outings, speak about them enjoying this dish or this place and so on. And then at some point, the ‘switch’ happens. I am not entirely sure when but one begins to feel more and more proud of the children’s accomplishments and starts planning one’s own time including vacations.

I remember one of our first vacations without the girls, just me and my wife and we went down to the coast in South Africa. It was almost like coming to a full circle. We had our first vacation, remember the shoestring honeymoon by the sea and here we were with our daughters off to college, once again back to a vacation by the sea ….just about close to two decades later! Different periods of life help you grow and learn. I must say from shoestring budgets and vacations to enjoying being empty nesters, life’s an amazing journey. And especially with that Maverick spirit! I mean, we just started seeing the bright side to it all – we didn’t need to wait for school holidays, no need to worry about only starting holidays on weekends as kids had school during the week and so on. All of a sudden, we could just take off whenever we felt like it…and guess what, being experts at ‘shoestring vacations’….helped immensely! We didn’t even burn big holes in our pockets! Ha ha.

So, Fellow Mavericks, remember the third component of the Maverick formula – Falling forward? Well, always always fall forward regardless of the setbacks, the empty nests that can many a time throw one of course. So here’s to marching forward and of course, enjoying the march!

Do keep writing your comments and sharing feedback at ‘theordinarymaverick@gmail.com’ and follow me on Instagram #theordinarymaverick.  I love hearing from you. This is Ajey, signing off and wishing you have an amazing day and a super amazing year! Keep well. 

This podcast series was put together as a team effort from the Bhardwaj family.  Concept, design, title, researchers and reviewers: Ajey, Sanjana, Avantika and Niharika Bhardwaj; Script– Sanjana; Cover design – Niharika. All rights reserved.