Quantum fun and long-distance relationships

Quantum physics and mechanics is one of the greatest discoveries and it includes fascinating concepts. We are surrounded by its application in our everyday lives. Learning about quantum mechanics is fun and the very definition tells us that everything comes in discrete amounts. Now how does this connect with long distance relationships? And how can we remain connected across distances in a meaningful way. Quantum entanglement is a fascinating concept. Join me on this podcast as I share some of my experience with long distance relationships and tips that worked including about quantum mechanics that played and continues to play an important role.

Transcript

Hello Everyone and welcome to the podcast of the Ordinary Maverick. This is Ajey, your host, an ordinary Maverick sharing real life thoughts and experiences and Maverick tips. If you haven’t hit the subscribe button yet, please do so, and you’ll not miss another episode.

Fellow Mavericks, I’ve spoken about having a questioning mind and asking the right questions. Well, in keeping with that I recently delved into the world of quantum physics. Now you may wonder why? How come quantum physics? I am no scientist, physics was certainly not my favorite subject in school and then quantum physics…oh wow ….Well, I was reading something and came across all these connections that quantum physics has in our world and it struck me, fired up my curiosity and I found out more. And then the more I found, the more I wanted. Have you ever felt like this or experienced it? When you find out a little bit about something and it just whets your appetite for more? Well, so here goes, let’s talk more about this interesting topic.

Firstly, let’s ask the right questions….what does quantum mean? And have we even realized that we are surrounded by quantum mechanics? In fact, for most of us, our mornings start with it. Our alarm clock works on quantum mechanics. Basically, in quantum physics, everything in the universe has both wave and particle nature at the same time. The word quantum comes from Latin, meaning ‘how much’ and reflects the fact that quantum models always involve something coming in discrete amounts.

In physics, a quantum is the minimum amount of any physical entity involved in an interaction. The fundamental notion that a physical property can be quantized is referred to as the hypothesis of quantization. And this is the foundation of quantum mechanics. Our lives today are influenced and surrounded by quantum physics and mechanics. Like our computer s and smart phones. The entire working process of these instruments is fundamentally a quantum mechanism, the phenomenon of band structure supporting the modern semi conductor – based electronics. The entire base of fibre optic telecommunication is quantum physics and the light sources that are used to send messages down the fibre optic cables are lasers that are quantum devices.

So you see, we cannot function today without the application of quantum physics or mechanics. Even simple things like our toaster is running because of quantum mechanics. For many of us, our days start with freshly toasted bread in the mornings and coffee and toasters run on quantum physics. And of course, we are constantly communicating, using our phones, our computers…I mean you’re listening to this podcast over a device, most likely your phone, and quantum mechanics is at work!

It's fascinating to learn more about the world of quantum physics or mechanics and its applications. For the common man, GPS systems have become indispensable in some ways. I mean, we all use GPS technology, the Uber drivers use it to navigate, and there are innumerable ways that GPS technology has changed the way we live and function. And this also runs on quantum physics.

Then we have the world of medicine, the MRI scans, the laser technology being used for surgery and many applications to improve the lives of people. For example, today eye surgery is just an in and out procedure, no need for hospital stay. This was definitely not the case some decades back, where in one had to be admitted for a few days in the hospital and then post surgery you had to take all kinds of precautions including wearing an eye shield and then dark glasses etc etc.  My father in law recently underwent eye surgery and by the Grace of God everything went smoothly . He was home in just a couple of hours and doing everything with a dramatically improved vision. 

So, fellow Mavericks, am sure you’ll agree with me that quantum physics or mechanics is one of the greatest intellectual discoveries and that the knowledge of quantum principles transformed our conceptualization of the atom, which consists of a nucleus surrounded by electrons. And of course, there are several other core concepts at work here that builds greater understanding of the world of quantum physics but something interesting is that when quantum systems interact, the result is known as quantum entanglement. Now when this happens, their properties become so entwined that a description of the whole solely in terms of the individual parts is no longer possible. It’s a phenomenon that happens when two or more objects are connected in such a way that they can be taken as one unit, a single system, even if they are very far apart. And the state of one object in that systems cannot be fully described without information on the state of the other object. Furthermore, learning information about one object automatically tells you something about the other and vice versa. 

Isn’t that fascinating? Our lives are like that, intertwined. Don’t you think so? And it’s linked with people, relationships and journeys. And sometimes these get so entwined and difficult to separate even when far apart. Now that’s something to think about  especially when it comes to long distance relationships. I’ve spoken earlier about how we’ve traveled, explored and lived in different countries over the course of our lives. But it wasn’t all easy, there were times when we were all in different places, far away from each other and navigating through these long distance relationships as a couple, as parents and as siblings. We often get a range of reactions when people hear about our lives, ranging from shock, oh my goodness how do you’ll do it?, to surprise, gosh, when we see you’ll together, doesn’t seem like you’ll lived through many years apart from each other, to awe – how do you’ll do it? How do you’ll remain connected?  It’s so tough…. Many times even living together, or in the same city etc, one is not connected, so how do you’ll manage living so far apart and for such extended periods of time?

At one point in our lives, the four of us, myself, my wife and our two daughters, we were all in 4 different continents, contending with 4 different time zones to say the least. One thing we’ve learned is that it’s the ‘quality’ that matters. Not just the quantity. Now what do I mean by that? You know, one can spend hours and days with someone and yet not be connect. And then one spends just some minutes and feels totally in sync. That’s the ‘quality’ I’m speaking about.  Think about it, it’s like quantum mechanics. I said earlier, in quantum physics, everything in the universe has both wave and particle nature at the same time. And a quantum is the minimum amount of any physical entity involved in an interaction. Well, communication and staying connected in like this, a lot of our communication is non verbal and anything…even the slightest ‘quantum’ vibration of negative or positive energy is immediately communicated to the others or the person you’re communicating with. It's almost sub conscious. This can be verbal as well as non verbal. And that’s what our minds pick up and respond accordingly. So if our quantum vibrations are positive …then that’s what will go through to the other person and ultimately just as one has results in quantum physics that’s what will happen in the real world too! And the phenomena of quantum entanglement will become a reality in your relationships too. I see it that way with us, we’ve achieved ‘quantum entanglement’ – ha ha. And how did this happen?

Well, one important thing is to spend quality time together. I’ve spoken about this in earlier podcasts too. How to disconnect to reconnect and creating different shared ‘banks’ – memory, humour etc. and really getting to know each person as a person. Not just as your relationship outlines. Like not just getting to know your son or daughter or husband or wife…but getting to know them as individuals minus the relationship you may have. This is not easy at all as we somehow always entangle our communication and our thoughts with the relationship, but try and step out of it and recognize the person behind the relationship and connect. And for that, one needs to spend time with the person. 

Here's what we did, as a family, we definitely had vacations together and all of that. But we also spent individual time together. Like I would spend the day with my elder daughter and my wife with our younger one. So it’s one on one time   girls were little. You know as parents, often we don’t quite realize this but both parents, father and mother need that individual time with each child. Our girls recall those times and for us as parents, those are such special memories. We each built relationships with each other but also as a family.

This helped when we were apart and in different places. We were able to pick up many cues, often non verbal, when things weren’t going right or even when they were going right….and able to feel connected at all times. There weren’t these mandatory weekend calls that sometimes can feel like a tick box item rather than genuinely wanting to connect…we never constituted anything like that as a family. Just connected anytime we felt like and often. We constantly knew what was going on in all our lives, sharing seamlessly and without any judgement or reproach. When we couldn’t connect, there were no recriminations or complaints, just the flow of ok….no problem, you’re busy, let’s just connect when we can. The comfort levels were high so it was an ‘as is’ phenomena…that led to the quantum entanglement, you see. Because when we start making excuses, or feel forced in any way to communicate, that’s where the problems come in. One thing we’ve always emphasized as a family is to speak truly and freely. No pretenses and say it as it is. Including most importantly of how you feel at all times.

So, fellow Mavericks, while quantum mechanics definitely surrounds us in its application today and we use our phones, GPS tracking systems and many others in our lives but interpersonal relationships are also linked with the concepts of quantum mechanics. Communication vibrations, quality time and really knowing the person behind the relationship is the crux of healthy relationships and never mind the distance. Think about it.

Do keep writing your comments and sharing feedback at ‘theordinarymaverick@gmail.com’ and follow me on Instagram #theordinarymaverick.  I love hearing from you. This is Ajey, signing off and wishing you have an amazing day and a super amazing year! Keep well. 

This podcast series was put together as a team effort from the Bhardwaj family.  Concept, design, title, researchers and reviewers: Ajey, Sanjana, Avantika and Niharika Bhardwaj; Script– Sanjana; Cover design – Niharika. All rights reserved.