Rethink Fun

Many of us get caught in a cycle of putting off what we love for the sake of our never-ending to-do list.  In this episode, I’m sharing a recording of a recent workshop I gave called "Rethink Fun," inviting all of us to intentionally fill our souls with sunshine, love, and joy. I hope to encourage you to thoughtfully notice your current season of life, reflect on what activities fill you with energy, and start implementing small, manageable changes to bring more fun and joy into your days.

Main Points:

• Decide that fun and joy are a priority: You deserve a life that’s joyful, not just productive.
• Pay Attention: Take a moment to honestly notice what’s fun for you—without judgment, guilt or comparison. Reflect on how your current season of life (parenting, caregiving, career stage) impacts your energy and opportunities for joy.
• Make a Joy/Life Audit: Use my simple chart to sort your activities into what you love, like, don’t mind, dislike, and detest. This clarity helps you do more of what fills you up—and make changes where you feel drained.
• Schedule What Makes You Smile: If something brings you joy, put it on your calendar—even if it’s just for 30 minutes a week. Start small if needed, but treat your joy and happiness with the same urgency as your responsibilities.

Links 

• Join Kelly's Group Coaching Program

Let's connect.

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Transcript

Speaker 4: 0:09

Welcome to the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I'm life coach Kelly Titz, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self-awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose. I believe self-awareness changes everything. Let's get started. Welcome to Rethink Fun. This is the workshop that's going to kick off our summer series where we are going to fill our own soul with sunshine. I think one of the most important starting points for a soul filled with sunshine, filled with love and joy and peace and patience is-do we know what's fun? Do we know what fills our own soul? And are we doing enough of it? And there's so many reasons why you and I would not be doing it. When I began teaching this idea, this was one of the things in my life that got very little energy. I was very good at responsibility. I was very good at doing things because I thought other people wanted me to do them, and I was not very good at doing things that I enjoyed doing. My daughter came up with this chart. That we end up using to think through what we like and don't like. Today, we're going to spend time aligning our energy and coaching together. We're going to notice, decide. Then create small practice steps. So noticing might be noticing in your body, how does your body feel? Does it feel excited? Does it feel like angst at the thought of coming up with things that are fun? Noticing honestly, and without judgment is not easy if it's not something you've done before. So taking the time to notice and then also notice, wow. I'm thinking this on repeat and I'm not sure that's serving me. I am feeling this and it's keeping me from wanting to do something that could end up filling my soul with sunshine. Really good to notice. And so we want to hold space and make sure that we're noticing without judgment. Sometimes we get a picture of ourselves when we're younger and we look at her because it's easier to not judge her. Sometimes we have to find somebody we love. It might be a little niece or nephew or child or friend, and think of, would we want to say those words to them? Would we want people saying things like that to them? Then let's not say it to ourselves. So once we notice, we're going to make one decision. You might notice 14 different things, and our human brain loves us so much. It's going to say all 14 are equally important. Or we could decide Today we're going to focus on one thing at a time, one thought to focus on one decision. And then our small steps should feel small and easy if we're making decisions and they end up feeling overwhelming or. Just heavy. Maybe they're too big and we could cut it in half and cut it in half. Notice the thoughts we have about summer and fun and filling our soul with sunshine. So here's just a few thoughts to start, but we really want you to notice your own thought, whatever one comes up first today. First one. I loved vacations as a kid, but now vacations are trips. They're for my kids. They're not for me. I think I'm surrounded by women who are in this stage of life where their adult children are coming on vacation and it no longer feels like a vacation because there's other friends coming in and out and kids who can't stay the whole week, and suddenly it's feeling less like a vacation and a filling experience. More like a trip I. But I don't think my mother realized that her vacations with us when we were children was actually a trip, not a vacation. It was so much work for her. Keeping my children or my family busy and happy is what I should focus on. And hobbies are things to give energy to. When I have more time, the urgent things need to take priority. See if you can notice before we even begin a thought you have about summer. About fun, about doing things that fill your soul with sunshine. Does any thought come to mind? If so, write it down. I want to chat with you about it. Next we want to notice, so here's a few things to notice. The first thing we talk about is the season of life, and we're just giving you these really broad, single, married, divorced children, caring for parents, taking care of young kids. What about this week in your life? The season of life that I'm in this week is actually different than it was two weeks ago and two weeks to come. My children are doing different things and that affects my energy. The world is the way the world is this week. So how would you describe this week, this day, this hour? What season of life are you in? So part of it is about the people in your life, but part of it is just maybe this is a season. Where you're having to do a lot of yard work and you're physically exhausted and that's affecting the other areas of your life. Maybe this is a season where you're disappointed that generally you had time with certain people and you don't have that time this year. I know I felt that on vacation this year. This was the first year one of my children couldn't come on our family vacation, and so it wasn't just a season of life of being empty nest. It was a season of life of realizing there's going to be fewer and fewer days when the five original tidbits are together. Why we want to consider the season we're in today is we want to notice how it impacts our life. So in order for there to be time and energy, for fun and joy and all of the parts of life that fill us with sunshine, we have to acknowledge the reality of the life that we're in. So is this a season where your schedules are changing maybe at work or the volunteer work you do, or the people that are coming in and out of your home? Is there consistency? Is there a lot of change? What are your activities and if you're in charge of taking care of other kids, what are their activities? Many times we put a calendar on the wall and we put. On that calendar, the things that rarely happen, a birthday party we're going to, or going out to dinner with a friend. And we don't take the time ever to schedule in all of the responsibilities we're doing on repeat and all of the activities that are taking our time and our resources. And if we were to put those in, we would realize there's not as much time and space and energy as that calendar on the wall might say there is, are you taking any vacations or trips? Are they taking up some of your mental energy? Financial resources. Are you hosting anybody? Are the people that you love going to spend more time or less time with you? We just want to take a few moments and notice what is this season really like? And it might be so different from last year, last week, last month. Next we want to notice what do you currently today do for fun? And if you remember, what's fun to you? When was the last time you did it? So I think a lot of us have the ability to say, this is what I do for fun, and I did it last year. I do this for fun and I did it last month. What do you do for fun is the first question. And then when did you last do it? Is the second question. We want to make sure it's happening on repeat. If you spend any time with me, you know, I love TikTok. And TikTok is full of all these little tiny videos where people help you really understand the concept you didn't understand before. One of my favorite people does these tiktoks on a mom and a dad who have little children and the dad plays golf and the mom doesn't play golf. And every TikTok she's trying to tell him that she thinks she wants to make golf. Her new hobby, because it sounds really fun to be away for a whole day, once a weekend. They keep making these little tiktoks. And the dad. He's like, wouldn't it be more fun to garden? Wouldn't your hobby be better if it was scrapbooking? Wouldn't it be better if it was something about the family and not really something where you go away seven hours And the point of it is just to help young women notice, hey, you're agreeing to things that maybe don't serve you. So while you're considering your hobbies, I want you to consider, is it something that actually fills you with energy enjoying life, or is it something you've accidentally made a hobby because people have been encouraging you? Wouldn't that be a great hobby? And even if it was something that fills you with energy when you were younger, if you're doing it on repeat and it's not filling your soul with sunshine, however you would say the phrase of bringing energy and joy in life into your life, do you want to keep doing it on repeat? And is there anything you would do if you could do it? This is the place and the time to hold space for a thought like that. If money was no object, if energy was no object, what would you do? And maybe you're noticing you do what I did for so many decades of my life. You keep putting off the fund. You do the responsible thing, you get the work done, and the fun, because there's no urgency to it, it keeps getting put aside. Why? Well, for me, getting to that fun energy is not an easy neural pathway. It's just not something I've done most of my life. It is something I do now and I do on repeat and I plan, and I make sure that it's showing up in my life on a regular basis. But see what you're noticing about fun. Are you putting it off? Are you scheduling it? Are you showing up and are you doing the things that actually fill your soul with sunshine? It makes you laugh, it fills you with joy. So we're going to use this chart and this chart. Um, you can hear a little bit more about it in podcast number 100 because when my daughter helped me create this once a week, I was taking a day and I called it my Sabbath, my day of rest. And I was trying to do things on that day that I enjoyed, and one of the things I did every Sabbath was go to the dump. And it didn't even occur to me that I didn't love it. I didn't mind it, it wasn't a draining activity, but it wasn't something that filled my own soul with sunshine, and I was not aware. And so I scheduled that every single week because I did get a little burst of energy at the thought of getting some stuff out of my home. But using this chart helped me say, no, I want Sabbath to be reading and going for walks and having time

9:24

with friends. So we're going to just take a moment. I'm going to give you the five categories.

Speaker 4: 9:28

What do you love? What do you like? What's kind of neutral? You don't mind it, but it's not giving you any energy. What do you dislike? It's taking away a little bit of your energy and what do you detest or hate and it's sort of sucking the life out of you. See if you can notice, I'm going to give you some examples, but try to come up with one for each category if you can, because we want to do more of what gives us energy, and we want to have tools for the things that drain our energy. So do you love going to the beach, walking on the beach, seeing a sunset? Do you love these longer summer days, or do you notice, boy, it just makes the workday feel longer. Feel like I should be doing afternoon and evening chores because they're sunshine. Do you love riding your bike and wish you were doing more of it? Do you wish you weren't so busy? I know when my kids were little, I used to have to take them to so many summer activities, swimming and camps. Never really thought about it. I like our vacation, but it's not very relaxing. There's so much to prepare for and so much to clean up, and the focus is on the kids or my mom or my friends, and it's just not relaxing. Here's a new thought. I don't mind yard work, but that's because it's only a few weeks of the year. I don't like that the changing schedule happens when my kids' activities are so flexible. I detest having to be the one responsible for ranging everything from camps and activities to carpooling. I detest that I have to start planning for school year activities in the middle of summer. Anything come to mind? It could be something around cooking. I know most of my children love to put on some good music and poor glass of wine. They really love cooking. A couple times a week, it brings them joy For me, it's on a dislike to test'cause it's an everyday activity and I don't really love doing it. Can you notice what you love? Like what you don't mind is kind of neutral, dislike and detest. We're going to use that information in a moment. So now that we've noticed, we've written down things that we enjoy, maybe we're interested in things we want to pursue, we're also noticing things we want to do less of. Maybe invite other people to partner with us and maybe sometimes we even have to pay somebody to do some of the things that are just taking all the life and energy from us. So much of our life begins with what we call a power thought. A thought we're repeating that we might not even notice, and that thought is creating feelings and the feelings is move us towards or away from the actions that we want to take to create those important results. So my thought was, I love going to the dump, and that thought was so big it didn't hold space for me to even notice. Actually what I love is putting my chair out in the sun and reading. And so because I didn't notice my thought, it didn't create space for me to do the things that I really did love, and once I noticed it, I brought yoga back into my life on my day off, and that was such a restful, excellent way for me to be spending that day of rest. What's your thought about having a life that you enjoy? I. Here's some thoughts. Maybe you agree completely. Maybe it's possible. Maybe you're noticing. I don't think, I think this and it's having an effect on my life. Number one, I deserve to enjoy my life. A lot of my power thoughts come from the Bible, and one of my favorite things Jesus says is, I came that you might have a life and a life more abundant. I think that means I should be enjoying my life. I should have joy and fun in my own life. I get to prioritize what I want in my life that I'm loving. Is that true? Do you get to prioritize what you love? And how about this thought I could grow in my ability to notice and do more of what I love doing. What power thought would you like on repeat? It's okay if you don't notice it. That might be the work that you do this week. What power thought do I want driving my behavior? I want to put the fun back into my life this summer. What power thought do I want and repeat. And if the thought is brand new and it doesn't quite feel aligned in your body and your mind and your soul, maybe you have to add these two words at the beginning. It's possible. It's possible I deserve to enjoy my life. It's possible I can prioritize myself in my life. It's possible I can grow in my ability to notice and do more of what I love. Once you have a power thought, that thought is going to create feelings in your body that move you towards or away from the actions that are creating the results in your life. A hundred percent of the time, the actions of our life are creating results. They're just not always the results we want. Sometimes we're in charge of that and sometimes we're not. You can do the right thing on repeat over and over again and not necessarily get the results you want. That's the hard part of life. We only have authority and control over our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. The other things from. The circumstance that we're in right now to the result that is created, belong in that box from the serenity prayer of sometimes I have to accept things. And so we're going to do what we can do. We're going to focus on the part that we are in charge of, and we're going to do the emotional and mental and physical work that we need to do to process the emotions that things don't always go exactly as we want them to. So my example would be, maybe you're noticing right now I want to go to the ocean. Much more often, and you're also noticing you live in the middle of the country and it would be really hard. You'd have to take a plane and it would take a lot of money and time. You might have to accept the things you cannot change. And then decide, well, this is important to me. How can I put some time and energy and resources and create the result that's important. Sometimes it takes time and our life is at capacity. Sometimes it takes energy and you might be emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually exhausted, and sometimes it takes resources, like money. And so that might be where we begin to do our work. Is there one day in the next seven days where you could spend 30 minutes doing something you love that fills your soul with sunshine? I think you're worth 30 minutes. My life changed when someone said that power thought to me once. I think you're worth 30 minutes. It got me back into the gym doing an activity I really liked. So can you name right now an activity that you would like to do for 30 minutes this week? And are you able to say the time and the day? Maybe you even notice? I have the space and the time to do it twice. Three times. I'm going to do it Monday and Thursday. If you write it down, you are more likely to see that result happen because now you're making it something that's scheduled. And when something is important but not urgent, if it's not scheduled, it's easy to just not do it. So when something is urgency, you're going to do it. The bill that needs to be paid and the car oil, that needs to be changed.'cause now the car won't turn on when there's urgency, you're going to do it. But when it's just important and there's no urgency, you need a schedule. So could you write down an activity, the amount of time you want to do it, and the day you want to do it? Now, if you write it down and it just feels heavy, it feels like, I'm not sure I can do that. Maybe 30 minutes is too much. Could it be 15 minutes, 10 minutes, five minutes? Could you make the step a little bit smaller until it feels possible? Maybe you've decided, I want to read a book that I love at least once a week, but even 30 minutes feels just more than I could do. Could it be 15 minutes, 10 minutes? Could you find the starting place that feels small enough to begin to do it? Can you do any of the steps ahead and could you divide the task? Could you delegate some of the work you do? Could you do something with somebody else? So the burden is shared. Again, you could go to podcast Number a hundred and learn a little bit more about how to do a chart that helps you. Our goal for today is for you to start with your most important power. Thought you deserve to have a life where you have fun. That's why this is called Rethink Fun. You Deserve It. And if it's not showing up in the way you want to, you are actually in charge of three things. What do you want to think about that? How does that make you feel? And what will you do and what will you stop doing? Because sometimes it's the things we're doing on repeat, like going to the dump that we're not realizing or taking the time and the energy that could be used for something that fills your own soul with sunshine. Thank you for joining the Live A Vibrant Life podcast. I hope our time together encourage you and will equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire. I'm here to help you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life.

Speaker 3: 17:48

And if you'd like to learn more. You can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly tibbits life coach, or visit my website kelly tibbits.com. I look forward to connecting again soon.