{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":8.099,"endTime":14.918,"body":"Before I"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":8.099,"endTime":14.918,"body":"introduce today's guest, I want"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":15.089,"endTime":24.637,"body":"to say a big thank you to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":15.089,"endTime":24.637,"body":"Seychelle Travis for being the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":24.807,"endTime":34.014,"body":"latest lovely listener to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":24.807,"endTime":34.014,"body":"financially support the show"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":34.185,"endTime":44.244,"body":"through the super easy to use"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":34.185,"endTime":44.244,"body":"link in the show notes of any"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":44.415,"endTime":53.792,"body":"episode on whatever app or"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":44.415,"endTime":53.792,"body":"website you're listening on."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":53.963,"endTime":63.852,"body":"Seychelle listens in Munich, and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":53.963,"endTime":63.852,"body":"told me she is working on"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":64.022,"endTime":74.423,"body":"projects where she would like to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":64.022,"endTime":74.423,"body":"tap into her creativity, and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":74.593,"endTime":84.141,"body":"that she really likes the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":74.593,"endTime":84.141,"body":"podcast and wanted to show her"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":84.312,"endTime":94.201,"body":"appreciation. Well, I really"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":84.312,"endTime":94.201,"body":"appreciate your appreciation."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":94.371,"endTime":104.431,"body":"Seychelle, and I'm overjoyed"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":94.371,"endTime":104.431,"body":"that you are enjoying the show"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":104.601,"endTime":114.831,"body":"and getting value from it. If"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":104.601,"endTime":114.831,"body":"you feel similar to Seychelle,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":115.002,"endTime":125.402,"body":"simply scroll down the screen,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":115.002,"endTime":125.402,"body":"wherever you're listening, and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":125.573,"endTime":135.803,"body":"click on the words support the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":125.573,"endTime":135.803,"body":"show, you will be guided from"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":135.973,"endTime":146.033,"body":"there. Now, back to the usual"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":135.973,"endTime":146.033,"body":"format. Today's guest is fish"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":146.203,"endTime":157.115,"body":"Lee, who tells me about how his"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":146.203,"endTime":157.115,"body":"local TV weatherman played a key"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":157.286,"endTime":167.345,"body":"part in his getting to the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":157.286,"endTime":167.345,"body":"bottom of a mystery illness that"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":167.516,"endTime":177.234,"body":"have plagued him physically,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":167.516,"endTime":177.234,"body":"emotionally and behaviorally"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":177.405,"endTime":187.294,"body":"since he was a child, and how"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":177.405,"endTime":187.294,"body":"that diagnosis helped him to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":187.464,"endTime":197.694,"body":"start drawing again, without"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":187.464,"endTime":197.694,"body":"spilling the ink. Hi, fish, how"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":197.865,"endTime":199.229,"body":"are you?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":199.56,"endTime":201.18,"body":"I am wonderful, how are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":199.56,"endTime":201.18,"body":"you?"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":201.419,"endTime":204.659,"body":"I'm very"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":201.419,"endTime":204.659,"body":"good. Thank you. Please start by"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":204.659,"endTime":209.879,"body":"telling me what your creative"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":204.659,"endTime":209.879,"body":"profession and passion is."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":210.18,"endTime":214.29,"body":"I am a professional"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":210.18,"endTime":214.29,"body":"storyteller. I get paid to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.32,"endTime":218.61,"body":"illustrate comic books for other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":214.32,"endTime":218.61,"body":"people. And I am now doing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.61,"endTime":221.91,"body":"own comic series Green Zone life"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":218.61,"endTime":221.91,"body":"in the blocks that I get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":221.91,"endTime":225.09,"body":"completely write and illustrate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":221.91,"endTime":225.09,"body":"myself. I got to create this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":225.09,"endTime":229.62,"body":"amazing world and chase down all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":225.09,"endTime":229.62,"body":"these little rabbit trails to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":229.62,"endTime":233.13,"body":"see where everything goes. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":229.62,"endTime":233.13,"body":"super exciting for me. But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":233.13,"endTime":235.65,"body":"know, yeah, when I'm not doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":233.13,"endTime":235.65,"body":"my own book, I'm drawing other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":235.65,"endTime":238.29,"body":"people's comic books. 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While you were"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":394.83,"endTime":398.28,"body":"growing up, you had certain"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":394.83,"endTime":398.28,"body":"behaviours that had your mom"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":398.28,"endTime":402.84,"body":"taking you to the doctor, can"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":398.28,"endTime":402.84,"body":"you tell me more about what was"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":402.84,"endTime":406.02,"body":"going on in your private life in"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":402.84,"endTime":406.02,"body":"your health,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.44,"endTime":410.76,"body":"I was always just kind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":406.44,"endTime":410.76,"body":"of written off as a weird kid."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.76,"endTime":414.84,"body":"For a long time, I was very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":410.76,"endTime":414.84,"body":"awkward. 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And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.09,"endTime":572.25,"body":"I would have done anything to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":567.09,"endTime":572.25,"body":"get to stop. But I didn't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.25,"endTime":576.6,"body":"what was wrong and I didn't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":572.25,"endTime":576.6,"body":"why it was happening. And so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.6,"endTime":579.63,"body":"yeah, that made life pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.6,"endTime":579.63,"body":"tough growth."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":581.73,"endTime":585.93,"body":"Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":581.73,"endTime":585.93,"body":"think Oh, poor little you trying"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":585.93,"endTime":591.0,"body":"to get out of this and nobody"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":585.93,"endTime":591.0,"body":"believes in you as well. You"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":591.0,"endTime":593.58,"body":"know, you've got physical things"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":591.0,"endTime":593.58,"body":"happening, but you've also got"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":593.58,"endTime":597.99,"body":"these psychological things where"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":593.58,"endTime":597.99,"body":"people aren't on your side, you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":597.99,"endTime":601.11,"body":"know, through no fault of their"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":597.99,"endTime":601.11,"body":"own perhaps That's really sad."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":601.32,"endTime":604.14,"body":"We're gonna come back to those"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":601.32,"endTime":604.14,"body":"symptoms a bit later because it"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":604.14,"endTime":609.63,"body":"takes a while for those to be"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":604.14,"endTime":609.63,"body":"understood. You know, now that"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":609.63,"endTime":613.38,"body":"on top of those symptoms, you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":609.63,"endTime":613.38,"body":"have autism, that you didn't"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":613.38,"endTime":616.02,"body":"know that I know, I know that as"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":613.38,"endTime":616.02,"body":"a young man, you took on a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":616.02,"endTime":621.24,"body":"certain persona. Who was that"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":616.02,"endTime":621.24,"body":"character? And why do you feel"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":621.24,"endTime":623.76,"body":"you went down that route at that"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":621.24,"endTime":623.76,"body":"time,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.3,"endTime":628.26,"body":"I never could figure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":624.3,"endTime":628.26,"body":"out how to make friends. It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.26,"endTime":631.74,"body":"like everybody else was speaking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":628.26,"endTime":631.74,"body":"a foreign language, and I just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.74,"endTime":636.12,"body":"don't understand it. And, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":631.74,"endTime":636.12,"body":"know, I would try and try to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.12,"endTime":639.03,"body":"mimic what they did. But it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":636.12,"endTime":639.03,"body":"never seemed to work, or it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.03,"endTime":641.91,"body":"would work for a second. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":639.03,"endTime":641.91,"body":"then somebody would see through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.91,"endTime":645.12,"body":"my disguise and realise that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.91,"endTime":645.12,"body":"don't really speak this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.12,"endTime":647.82,"body":"language, and I don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":645.12,"endTime":647.82,"body":"what's going on, you're a weirdo"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.82,"endTime":651.33,"body":"go away. And then we moved"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":647.82,"endTime":651.33,"body":"around a lot after my parents"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":651.33,"endTime":655.35,"body":"got divorced. And every time I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":651.33,"endTime":655.35,"body":"thought up, here's my new chance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.35,"endTime":659.04,"body":"to start over a new bunch of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":655.35,"endTime":659.04,"body":"people, I can be a new guy and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.07,"endTime":662.07,"body":"you know, make new friends,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":659.07,"endTime":662.07,"body":"every time they would catch on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.07,"endTime":666.27,"body":"that I was a weirdo, and that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":662.07,"endTime":666.27,"body":"didn't get this social"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.27,"endTime":670.8,"body":"interaction that everybody else"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":666.27,"endTime":670.8,"body":"got so easily. And finally, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":670.8,"endTime":673.77,"body":"know, moved to Arkansas where my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":670.8,"endTime":673.77,"body":"mom was from, and we moved to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":673.77,"endTime":679.17,"body":"little town. And where I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":673.77,"endTime":679.17,"body":"get dropped off for school was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.17,"endTime":681.93,"body":"where all the thugs hung out by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":679.17,"endTime":681.93,"body":"the smoking area, because we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.93,"endTime":686.19,"body":"still had smoking areas at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":681.93,"endTime":686.19,"body":"junior high when I was a kid."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.31,"endTime":689.1,"body":"And I would get dropped off with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":686.31,"endTime":689.1,"body":"these kids. And I would hang"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.1,"endTime":692.25,"body":"around the outskirts for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":689.1,"endTime":692.25,"body":"little while, and I would watch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.25,"endTime":695.13,"body":"them. And then I'm hanging"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":692.25,"endTime":695.13,"body":"around the thugs at school. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":695.13,"endTime":699.6,"body":"their social interaction is real"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":695.13,"endTime":699.6,"body":"simple, like toughest guy wins"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":699.63,"endTime":703.92,"body":"scariest guys in charge. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":699.63,"endTime":703.92,"body":"had always been bigger than"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":703.92,"endTime":706.8,"body":"everybody else, which had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":703.92,"endTime":706.8,"body":"usually made me a great target."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":706.8,"endTime":709.56,"body":"Because I didn't know how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":706.8,"endTime":709.56,"body":"fight back, I would be bullied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.56,"endTime":712.86,"body":"by kids two grades lower than me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":709.56,"endTime":712.86,"body":"because they thought it was fun"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.86,"endTime":717.24,"body":"to bully somebody that was twice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":712.86,"endTime":717.24,"body":"their size. And then one day, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.24,"endTime":721.71,"body":"tried to interact with this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":717.24,"endTime":721.71,"body":"group. And one of the kids got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":721.71,"endTime":725.37,"body":"up in my face and was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":721.71,"endTime":725.37,"body":"threatening to beat me up. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.37,"endTime":727.92,"body":"was scared. I mean, I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":725.37,"endTime":727.92,"body":"beat up a lot of times up to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.92,"endTime":730.83,"body":"this point, I was scared. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":727.92,"endTime":730.83,"body":"just decided to hell with it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.83,"endTime":733.89,"body":"And I stomped his foot and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":730.83,"endTime":733.89,"body":"shoved him which sent him"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":733.89,"endTime":738.87,"body":"straight on his butt into the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":733.89,"endTime":738.87,"body":"mud. And suddenly I was the king"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.87,"endTime":743.61,"body":"of this group of thugs and I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":738.87,"endTime":743.61,"body":"the leader as Oh, this is easy,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.64,"endTime":747.24,"body":"I can do this. I'm already"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":743.64,"endTime":747.24,"body":"bigger than everybody else I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":747.24,"endTime":751.68,"body":"be scary. So I became the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":747.24,"endTime":751.68,"body":"meanest scariest dude, I could."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.71,"endTime":756.21,"body":"And like we didn't really have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":751.71,"endTime":756.21,"body":"name for goth back then. But I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.21,"endTime":759.96,"body":"wearing the long black trench"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":756.21,"endTime":759.96,"body":"coats and dog chains and spikes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.96,"endTime":764.43,"body":"and you know, long earrings and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":759.96,"endTime":764.43,"body":"grew up this really long Mohawk."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.43,"endTime":769.02,"body":"And I would wear these black"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":764.43,"endTime":769.02,"body":"shades that covered my eyes all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.02,"endTime":771.6,"body":"the time, I would never take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":769.02,"endTime":771.6,"body":"them off. I got sent to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.63,"endTime":775.08,"body":"principal's office so many times"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.63,"endTime":775.08,"body":"for not taking them off in class"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.14,"endTime":778.53,"body":"and just built a persona of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":775.14,"endTime":778.53,"body":"being the scariest dude, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.53,"endTime":784.23,"body":"could. And it gave me so many"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":778.53,"endTime":784.23,"body":"benefits, that I didn't even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.23,"endTime":788.97,"body":"realise how much it was helping,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":784.23,"endTime":788.97,"body":"like all the heavy clothes were"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.99,"endTime":793.47,"body":"a great weight on my body, which"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.99,"endTime":793.47,"body":"really helped soothe a lot of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.47,"endTime":798.0,"body":"sensory issues, and made me feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":793.47,"endTime":798.0,"body":"not as on edge all the time, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.0,"endTime":802.14,"body":"sunglasses blocked out having to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":798.0,"endTime":802.14,"body":"make direct eye contact with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.14,"endTime":805.56,"body":"people which took out a whole"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":802.14,"endTime":805.56,"body":"lot of anxiety and inferiority"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.56,"endTime":810.0,"body":"feeling. Because making eye"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":805.56,"endTime":810.0,"body":"contact with somebody was this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.0,"endTime":814.26,"body":"incredibly personal thing that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.0,"endTime":814.26,"body":"I just can't do that with just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.26,"endTime":819.18,"body":"anybody. And I didn't even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":814.26,"endTime":819.18,"body":"realise how much I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.24,"endTime":824.19,"body":"insulating and self soothing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":819.24,"endTime":824.19,"body":"myself with this persona. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.19,"endTime":828.06,"body":"the scarier I am the more people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":824.19,"endTime":828.06,"body":"stay at a distance. Nobody's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.06,"endTime":830.61,"body":"going to get close enough to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.06,"endTime":830.61,"body":"hurt me if they're too scared to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":830.61,"endTime":834.93,"body":"get near me. And everybody stays"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":830.61,"endTime":834.93,"body":"away. Everybody does whatever I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.93,"endTime":837.96,"body":"say, you know, suddenly people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":834.93,"endTime":837.96,"body":"aren't giving me a hard time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.96,"endTime":841.74,"body":"about having a weird name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.96,"endTime":841.74,"body":"anymore. And it was great. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":841.74,"endTime":845.01,"body":"wasn't the kind of coping"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":841.74,"endTime":845.01,"body":"mechanism that's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.01,"endTime":848.25,"body":"function long term. And it came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":845.01,"endTime":848.25,"body":"with a whole lot of negative"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.25,"endTime":851.13,"body":"side effects. I was constantly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":848.25,"endTime":851.13,"body":"getting pulled over by the cops."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.16,"endTime":854.73,"body":"I was constantly being followed"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":851.16,"endTime":854.73,"body":"and harassed by the cops. I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.73,"endTime":857.82,"body":"so tired of that. So eventually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":854.73,"endTime":857.82,"body":"I had to make a change. But it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.82,"endTime":860.28,"body":"worked for a long time. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":857.82,"endTime":860.28,"body":"worked for a long time."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":860.34,"endTime":864.09,"body":"Yeah. So you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":860.34,"endTime":864.09,"body":"did change that persona. But"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":864.09,"endTime":867.27,"body":"that was obviously quite a good"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":864.09,"endTime":867.27,"body":"protection for you for a while."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":868.2,"endTime":873.87,"body":"Yeah. What about then after high"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":868.2,"endTime":873.87,"body":"school, which is also a kind of"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":873.87,"endTime":876.21,"body":"protection in that you're not"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":873.87,"endTime":876.21,"body":"quite out in the big wide world"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":876.21,"endTime":879.51,"body":"yet? What was Fisher going to do"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":876.21,"endTime":879.51,"body":"when High School finished?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.57,"endTime":882.54,"body":"Oh, man, everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":879.57,"endTime":882.54,"body":"fell apart for me at the end of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.54,"endTime":886.5,"body":"high school. I basically I had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":882.54,"endTime":886.5,"body":"to leave town and go start over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.5,"endTime":890.04,"body":"all over again. An acquaintance"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":886.5,"endTime":890.04,"body":"that I had known at one point"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.04,"endTime":892.29,"body":"had invited me to come down and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":890.04,"endTime":892.29,"body":"stay with his family in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.29,"endTime":896.49,"body":"Louisiana. I lived with them for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":892.29,"endTime":896.49,"body":"six months treated me like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.49,"endTime":899.88,"body":"family. They're still family to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":896.49,"endTime":899.88,"body":"me. My door has always been open"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.88,"endTime":902.97,"body":"to anybody who needs a place to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":899.88,"endTime":902.97,"body":"stay ever since because they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.97,"endTime":906.39,"body":"took me in, I was a foster"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":902.97,"endTime":906.39,"body":"parent, because they took me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":906.39,"endTime":909.45,"body":"I have my first two adopted"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":906.39,"endTime":909.45,"body":"sons, because they took me in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.48,"endTime":913.26,"body":"made a major impact on my life."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":909.48,"endTime":913.26,"body":"That was when I started trying"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.26,"endTime":917.88,"body":"to figure out who was I going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":913.26,"endTime":917.88,"body":"be after this, you know, I could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.88,"endTime":923.82,"body":"see from plenty of people in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":917.88,"endTime":923.82,"body":"circle in high school, I know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.85,"endTime":926.94,"body":"where this is going to end up."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":923.85,"endTime":926.94,"body":"If I continue on this, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.94,"endTime":930.54,"body":"going to either end up in prison"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":926.94,"endTime":930.54,"body":"or dead, I did not expect to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.54,"endTime":934.41,"body":"reach 27. I knew this wasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":930.54,"endTime":934.41,"body":"going to end well, if I continue"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.41,"endTime":937.44,"body":"this way. So I had to figure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":934.41,"endTime":937.44,"body":"out, am I going to continue to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.44,"endTime":941.43,"body":"be this guy? Or am I going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":937.44,"endTime":941.43,"body":"create a new personality to be I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.43,"endTime":947.64,"body":"finally walking the streets of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":941.43,"endTime":947.64,"body":"Mississippi, like 93, I think,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":948.39,"endTime":953.31,"body":"in the middle of the night, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":948.39,"endTime":953.31,"body":"came upon the decision that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.31,"endTime":956.79,"body":"was going to become the dude"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":953.31,"endTime":956.79,"body":"from the country songs that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.82,"endTime":960.51,"body":"works hard all day and comes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":956.82,"endTime":960.51,"body":"home to his wife and loves his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.51,"endTime":964.71,"body":"kids and plays with his dog. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":960.51,"endTime":964.71,"body":"I was just going to be the dude"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.71,"endTime":967.59,"body":"that works hard tells the truth,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":964.71,"endTime":967.59,"body":"you know, the guy that you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.59,"endTime":970.35,"body":"trust, because I wasn't the guy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":967.59,"endTime":970.35,"body":"you could trust, I was the guy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.35,"endTime":973.95,"body":"everybody was scared of. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":970.35,"endTime":973.95,"body":"was tired of that. And so I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.95,"endTime":978.27,"body":"changed everything about my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":973.95,"endTime":978.27,"body":"life, I set a whole bunch of new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.27,"endTime":982.83,"body":"rules for myself, which with OCD"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":978.27,"endTime":982.83,"body":"became ingrained in stone and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.83,"endTime":988.77,"body":"like, now, 30 years later, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":982.83,"endTime":988.77,"body":"cannot lie. My wife, my new wife"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.77,"endTime":991.23,"body":"thought it was funny when I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":988.77,"endTime":991.23,"body":"mentioned that at first when we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.23,"endTime":994.41,"body":"started dating that I can't lie,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":991.23,"endTime":994.41,"body":"and she thought I was being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.41,"endTime":997.41,"body":"silly. Now sometimes it kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.41,"endTime":997.41,"body":"aggravates her. So like if you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.41,"endTime":1001.04,"body":"don't want me to slip something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":997.41,"endTime":1001.04,"body":"to the grandbabies or a daughter"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.04,"endTime":1005.06,"body":"in law, you can't tell me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1001.04,"endTime":1005.06,"body":"because like, if she asks, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.06,"endTime":1009.59,"body":"gonna say it. And I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1005.06,"endTime":1009.59,"body":"leave my Christmas presents to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.59,"endTime":1013.4,"body":"the last minute, because I feel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1009.59,"endTime":1013.4,"body":"like a liar if I buy you a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.4,"endTime":1016.34,"body":"Christmas present. And I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1013.4,"endTime":1016.34,"body":"tell you that I got you this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.34,"endTime":1023.15,"body":"thing. So it's kind of funny"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1016.34,"endTime":1023.15,"body":"now. But I set up a bunch of new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.15,"endTime":1026.42,"body":"rules, I started being this new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1023.15,"endTime":1026.42,"body":"guy. And I realised now looking"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.42,"endTime":1031.73,"body":"back that my whole life has been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1026.42,"endTime":1031.73,"body":"trying to learn how to mask to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.73,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"fit in with neurotypical"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.73,"endTime":1036.08,"body":"society, and you know, hide who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.44,"body":"I am and put up a persona that's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1036.08,"endTime":1039.44,"body":"easier for other people to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.44,"endTime":1044.57,"body":"interact with. So building a new"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1039.44,"endTime":1044.57,"body":"persona to do that was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.63,"endTime":1047.6,"body":"uncomfortable, and I didn't like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1044.63,"endTime":1047.6,"body":"it. And I didn't like change,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.63,"endTime":1051.53,"body":"but I could see the value in it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.63,"endTime":1051.53,"body":"as opposed to where the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.53,"endTime":1055.79,"body":"one was gonna get me. So I did"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1051.53,"endTime":1055.79,"body":"it. The thing is, I have been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1055.79,"endTime":1060.26,"body":"masking for so long. Now. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1055.79,"endTime":1060.26,"body":"really don't know what the fish"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1060.26,"endTime":1062.06,"body":"behind the mask is like anymore."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1062.21,"endTime":1065.9,"body":"Yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1062.21,"endTime":1065.9,"body":"must be quite tiring to create"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1065.9,"endTime":1068.63,"body":"these personas or live within"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1065.9,"endTime":1068.63,"body":"these personas as you were"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1068.63,"endTime":1074.15,"body":"trying to navigate your young"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1068.63,"endTime":1074.15,"body":"life. You were diagnosed with"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1074.15,"endTime":1077.87,"body":"Tourette Syndrome, but not until"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1074.15,"endTime":1077.87,"body":"the age of 30. I think it was."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.38,"endTime":1080.3,"body":"Oh, yeah, it was fun."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.38,"endTime":1080.3,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1080.33,"endTime":1082.49,"body":"So you've"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1080.33,"endTime":1082.49,"body":"told me before about your"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1082.49,"endTime":1085.04,"body":"symptoms? So do please fill us"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1082.49,"endTime":1085.04,"body":"in more on that and how it was"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1085.04,"endTime":1089.3,"body":"affecting your whole life. But"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1085.04,"endTime":1089.3,"body":"why did it take so long to get a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1089.3,"endTime":1092.84,"body":"diagnosis? How did that actually"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1089.3,"endTime":1092.84,"body":"come about? In the end,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.17,"endTime":1097.7,"body":"the main reason that it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1093.17,"endTime":1097.7,"body":"took so long for me to get a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.7,"endTime":1104.6,"body":"diagnosis is twofold. One, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1097.7,"endTime":1104.6,"body":"one of not a small number of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.6,"endTime":1110.42,"body":"people, but the smaller amount"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1104.6,"endTime":1110.42,"body":"of people that their Tourette's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.42,"endTime":1113.51,"body":"continually gets worse as they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1110.42,"endTime":1113.51,"body":"get older, where a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.51,"endTime":1117.11,"body":"it gets really bad and childhood"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1113.51,"endTime":1117.11,"body":"really bad around adolescents."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.14,"endTime":1120.83,"body":"And then most of them learn how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1117.14,"endTime":1120.83,"body":"to live with it and cope to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.83,"endTime":1124.19,"body":"point that maybe people don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1120.83,"endTime":1124.19,"body":"notice they like to say, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.19,"endTime":1127.07,"body":"you'll you'll grow out of it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1124.19,"endTime":1127.07,"body":"you don't really grow out of it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.1,"endTime":1129.44,"body":"which is unfair to say because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1127.1,"endTime":1129.44,"body":"then people grow up and they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1129.44,"endTime":1133.13,"body":"like, it never went away. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1129.44,"endTime":1133.13,"body":"you get so much better at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.13,"endTime":1136.22,"body":"handling it as you grow up that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1133.13,"endTime":1136.22,"body":"most people wouldn't notice"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.22,"endTime":1139.04,"body":"unless they know you really well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1136.22,"endTime":1139.04,"body":"or spend a lot of time with. I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.13,"endTime":1143.24,"body":"one of a subset where it's just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1139.13,"endTime":1143.24,"body":"continually gotten worse. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.24,"endTime":1148.25,"body":"wasn't as severe when I was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1143.24,"endTime":1148.25,"body":"child. As the autistic symptoms"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.25,"endTime":1151.82,"body":"and the OCD and stuff were that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1148.25,"endTime":1151.82,"body":"was a much bigger problem for me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.82,"endTime":1155.93,"body":"as a kid. And then when I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1151.82,"endTime":1155.93,"body":"do tics like repeating something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.93,"endTime":1159.02,"body":"I heard off the TV over and over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1155.93,"endTime":1159.02,"body":"and over again. You know, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.02,"endTime":1163.94,"body":"just seemed like stuff normal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1159.02,"endTime":1163.94,"body":"kids do. I would obsess over one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.94,"endTime":1167.78,"body":"thing like he man or Thundercats"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1163.94,"endTime":1167.78,"body":"like well, that's just you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.78,"endTime":1171.53,"body":"that's what kids do. That's his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1167.78,"endTime":1171.53,"body":"thing. And then a lot of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.53,"endTime":1175.1,"body":"other tics would be stuff like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1171.53,"endTime":1175.1,"body":"holding my breath tugging on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.1,"endTime":1178.22,"body":"clothes digging stuff under my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1175.1,"endTime":1178.22,"body":"fingernails like always be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.22,"endTime":1181.01,"body":"digging at the hems of my shirts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1178.22,"endTime":1181.01,"body":"to get them under my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.01,"endTime":1185.15,"body":"fingernails. Like little weird"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1181.01,"endTime":1185.15,"body":"things my clothes are always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.15,"endTime":1188.6,"body":"feel like they're off centred"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1185.15,"endTime":1188.6,"body":"and I'm always adjusting little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.6,"endTime":1192.44,"body":"things like that rubbing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1188.6,"endTime":1192.44,"body":"nose, the corners of my mouth,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.89,"endTime":1196.94,"body":"scratching it my ears things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1192.89,"endTime":1196.94,"body":"that didn't seem abnormal. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.94,"endTime":1199.76,"body":"wasn't screaming out swear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1196.94,"endTime":1199.76,"body":"words. I wasn't barking like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.76,"endTime":1205.28,"body":"dog. I wasn't convulsing on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1199.76,"endTime":1205.28,"body":"floor. So those things didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.28,"endTime":1208.85,"body":"draw attention. And as I got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1205.28,"endTime":1208.85,"body":"older, the tics kept getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.85,"endTime":1212.93,"body":"worse and worse and worse, until"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1208.85,"endTime":1212.93,"body":"eventually I would have a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.02,"endTime":1218.15,"body":"very strange tics that aren't as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1213.02,"endTime":1218.15,"body":"common. My left arm would just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.21,"endTime":1222.14,"body":"go numb on me, and I just can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1218.21,"endTime":1222.14,"body":"move it. Sometimes it will be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.17,"endTime":1225.41,"body":"the whole left side, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1222.17,"endTime":1225.41,"body":"it'll be my whole body, or big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.41,"endTime":1228.71,"body":"chunks of my body will quit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1225.41,"endTime":1228.71,"body":"taking signals, but like two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.71,"endTime":1233.27,"body":"strands of muscle in there will."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1228.71,"endTime":1233.27,"body":"What's the point in that I can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.27,"endTime":1236.63,"body":"move my arm with one strand of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1233.27,"endTime":1236.63,"body":"forearm that's working, making"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.63,"endTime":1239.87,"body":"my middle finger Twitch like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1236.63,"endTime":1239.87,"body":"that doesn't do me any good. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1239.87,"endTime":1242.87,"body":"so all this time, we still don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1239.87,"endTime":1242.87,"body":"have an answer. The only answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.87,"endTime":1245.48,"body":"I have is, every time I've gone"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1242.87,"endTime":1245.48,"body":"to the doctor for this, they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.48,"endTime":1248.72,"body":"told me I'm faking it for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1245.48,"endTime":1248.72,"body":"attention. And my heart would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1248.72,"endTime":1253.31,"body":"race and drop down really low to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1248.72,"endTime":1253.31,"body":"nothing, it would race up high"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1253.31,"endTime":1256.58,"body":"and then drop down and I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1253.31,"endTime":1256.58,"body":"pass out, it would go up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.58,"endTime":1259.34,"body":"down, up and down, up and down."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1256.58,"endTime":1259.34,"body":"And all my other symptoms are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1259.34,"endTime":1263.03,"body":"going crazy. And I'm doing all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1259.34,"endTime":1263.03,"body":"these weird things. One side of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.03,"endTime":1266.96,"body":"my face might clench up and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.03,"endTime":1266.96,"body":"can't move it. One of my most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.96,"endTime":1271.4,"body":"common tics now is when things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1266.96,"endTime":1271.4,"body":"start to get bad, my jaw locks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.4,"endTime":1276.08,"body":"up. And now I can't speak. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1271.4,"endTime":1276.08,"body":"it's hard to think when you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.08,"endTime":1280.91,"body":"can't open your jaw. I laugh"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1276.08,"endTime":1280.91,"body":"that my kids second language is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.91,"endTime":1284.12,"body":"grunt because my boys all know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1280.91,"endTime":1284.12,"body":"how to speak grunt. And they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.12,"endTime":1287.15,"body":"know what I'm saying and what I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1284.12,"endTime":1287.15,"body":"need. Because they've grown up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.15,"endTime":1295.49,"body":"listening to it, my new step"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1287.15,"endTime":1295.49,"body":"kids have no idea why. But all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1295.49,"endTime":1297.98,"body":"these things kept getting worse"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1295.49,"endTime":1297.98,"body":"and worse, I would go to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.98,"endTime":1303.26,"body":"doctor. And, to his credit, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1297.98,"endTime":1303.26,"body":"new doctor that I started seeing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.29,"endTime":1307.82,"body":"in Conway, when I moved up here,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1303.29,"endTime":1307.82,"body":"said, I don't know what it is,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.85,"endTime":1310.25,"body":"but we're going to figure it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1307.85,"endTime":1310.25,"body":"out. And he started sending me a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.25,"endTime":1313.07,"body":"specialist. And he sent me to a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1310.25,"endTime":1313.07,"body":"heart specialist because the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1313.07,"endTime":1318.26,"body":"heart racing was obvious that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1313.07,"endTime":1318.26,"body":"was easy to see. And he tried me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.26,"endTime":1322.91,"body":"on some heart meds to regulate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1318.26,"endTime":1322.91,"body":"my heartbeat didn't do me much"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.91,"endTime":1327.23,"body":"good. But he assumed that all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1322.91,"endTime":1327.23,"body":"the problems must be because of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1327.23,"endTime":1330.62,"body":"my heart. So for several years,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1327.23,"endTime":1330.62,"body":"I thought, okay, it's my heart."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.68,"endTime":1333.5,"body":"And we tried different heart"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1330.68,"endTime":1333.5,"body":"medications, that didn't really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.5,"endTime":1335.81,"body":"work. And finally, I just got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1333.5,"endTime":1335.81,"body":"off of them because it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1335.81,"endTime":1342.2,"body":"helping. And then things got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1335.81,"endTime":1342.2,"body":"really, really, really bad. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.62,"endTime":1345.35,"body":"I couldn't work anymore. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1342.62,"endTime":1345.35,"body":"couldn't do freelance work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.35,"endTime":1349.76,"body":"anymore. Even if a job only was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1345.35,"endTime":1349.76,"body":"going to take me an hour to do,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.79,"endTime":1352.76,"body":"I could not promise that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1349.79,"endTime":1352.76,"body":"going to have an hour in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.76,"endTime":1356.99,"body":"next two weeks that I was steady"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1352.76,"endTime":1356.99,"body":"enough to be able to draw this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1356.99,"endTime":1361.13,"body":"for you. So eventually, I had to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1356.99,"endTime":1361.13,"body":"shut down my freelance business."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.22,"endTime":1366.32,"body":"And I'm just sitting there as a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1361.22,"endTime":1366.32,"body":"burden to my ex wife, and we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.32,"endTime":1369.59,"body":"can't get an answer to what's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1366.32,"endTime":1369.59,"body":"going on. I'm still playing the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1369.59,"endTime":1374.33,"body":"drums at church, which was nice."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1369.59,"endTime":1374.33,"body":"And it didn't matter to me if my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.33,"endTime":1376.64,"body":"eyes clamped shut, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1374.33,"endTime":1376.64,"body":"couldn't see because it's my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.64,"endTime":1379.19,"body":"drumset I know where everything"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1376.64,"endTime":1379.19,"body":"is I don't have to be able to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.19,"endTime":1383.78,"body":"see. And we played a Christmas"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1379.19,"endTime":1383.78,"body":"Eve service, I just so happened"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.78,"endTime":1388.22,"body":"to be on a heart monitor from a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1383.78,"endTime":1388.22,"body":"new my new heart doctor, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1388.22,"endTime":1392.39,"body":"played a god off the drums. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1388.22,"endTime":1392.39,"body":"then I fell to the ground having"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1392.39,"endTime":1397.61,"body":"this gigantic what looked like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1392.39,"endTime":1397.61,"body":"seizure. And they call the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.61,"endTime":1400.76,"body":"ambulance and they call me off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1397.61,"endTime":1400.76,"body":"and they read the heart monitor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.76,"endTime":1402.92,"body":"and you know, good news, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1400.76,"endTime":1402.92,"body":"don't have to be on the heart"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.92,"endTime":1405.95,"body":"monitor anymore, because we've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1402.92,"endTime":1405.95,"body":"seen enough problems here to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.95,"endTime":1410.66,"body":"know what it is. And he put me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1405.95,"endTime":1410.66,"body":"on a new medicine to control the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.66,"endTime":1414.32,"body":"electrical signals going to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1410.66,"endTime":1414.32,"body":"brain and all the symptoms stop."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.65,"endTime":1418.49,"body":"Okay, we've got the answer. It"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1414.65,"endTime":1418.49,"body":"was my heart all along. This is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.49,"endTime":1424.04,"body":"wonderful. And it worked like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1418.49,"endTime":1424.04,"body":"miracle cure for a year. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.04,"endTime":1427.7,"body":"then the tics started coming"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1424.04,"endTime":1427.7,"body":"back, you know, my heart is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.7,"endTime":1431.45,"body":"doing fine. But the tics are all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1427.7,"endTime":1431.45,"body":"coming back. And he was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.45,"endTime":1433.79,"body":"Well, I don't really care about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1431.45,"endTime":1433.79,"body":"any of these symptoms. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1433.79,"endTime":1435.83,"body":"these aren't what I'm treating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1433.79,"endTime":1435.83,"body":"you for. I'm treating you for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.83,"endTime":1438.29,"body":"the heart and the passing out."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1435.83,"endTime":1438.29,"body":"And you know, as long as your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.29,"endTime":1440.51,"body":"heart is doing fine, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1438.29,"endTime":1440.51,"body":"upping this medicine and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.51,"endTime":1443.42,"body":"stopping your heart just to try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1440.51,"endTime":1443.42,"body":"and stop these other things. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.42,"endTime":1446.42,"body":"don't care about that. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1443.42,"endTime":1446.42,"body":"still seeing this other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.42,"endTime":1450.08,"body":"neurologists that I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1446.42,"endTime":1450.08,"body":"seeing for years. And he was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.08,"endTime":1453.8,"body":"dead set, he was going to find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1450.08,"endTime":1453.8,"body":"the answer. And then he gave up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.8,"endTime":1457.19,"body":"and he decided I was faking it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1453.8,"endTime":1457.19,"body":"for attention. And I asked to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.19,"endTime":1460.67,"body":"get sent to a movement disorder"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1457.19,"endTime":1460.67,"body":"specialist. We had to wait six"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.67,"endTime":1464.39,"body":"months we had to pay like 600"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1460.67,"endTime":1464.39,"body":"bucks copay to get into this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.39,"endTime":1469.73,"body":"dude and finally get into go see"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1464.39,"endTime":1469.73,"body":"him and this guy was so good. He"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.73,"endTime":1472.85,"body":"had me diagnosed before I walked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1469.73,"endTime":1472.85,"body":"in the door as faking it for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.85,"endTime":1477.8,"body":"attention. So I gave up on ever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1472.85,"endTime":1477.8,"body":"finding an answer. I just have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.8,"endTime":1481.91,"body":"mystery illness and nobody's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1477.8,"endTime":1481.91,"body":"going to ever figure it out. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.91,"endTime":1487.61,"body":"then lo and behold, the local"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1481.91,"endTime":1487.61,"body":"weatherman does a special on TV"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.61,"endTime":1490.16,"body":"about what Tourette syndrome is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1487.61,"endTime":1490.16,"body":"because he's coming out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.16,"endTime":1493.13,"body":"admitting that he has Tourette's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1490.16,"endTime":1493.13,"body":"and the night before he came out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.13,"endTime":1497.63,"body":"and admitted they did this show"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1493.13,"endTime":1497.63,"body":"and they had this doctor on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.63,"endTime":1500.9,"body":"there talk about Tourette's and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1497.63,"endTime":1500.9,"body":"everybody it's earch starts"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.9,"endTime":1503.36,"body":"calling me like crazy. You've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1500.9,"endTime":1503.36,"body":"got to watch this on Channel"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1503.36,"endTime":1505.31,"body":"Live and this you've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1503.36,"endTime":1505.31,"body":"Tourette syndrome. I was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1505.31,"endTime":1509.18,"body":"No, I don't. The doctor told me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1505.31,"endTime":1509.18,"body":"I don't cuss and I don't bark"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.18,"endTime":1512.6,"body":"like a dog. So it can't be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1509.18,"endTime":1512.6,"body":"Tourette's. And he's like, no,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1512.6,"endTime":1515.39,"body":"no, that's not it, you need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1512.6,"endTime":1515.39,"body":"watch this, this guy looks just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1515.39,"endTime":1519.14,"body":"like you. I go on to YouTube, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1515.39,"endTime":1519.14,"body":"pull up the video, and I'll be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.14,"endTime":1522.17,"body":"damned. He looks exactly like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1519.14,"endTime":1522.17,"body":"me, the big fat guy with a big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.17,"endTime":1526.07,"body":"long beard. And he's sitting in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1522.17,"endTime":1526.07,"body":"this chair just thrashing around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1526.07,"endTime":1530.87,"body":"wildly like I did all the time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1526.07,"endTime":1530.87,"body":"at this point. And he tells all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1530.87,"endTime":1533.84,"body":"about what Tourette syndrome is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1530.87,"endTime":1533.84,"body":"how it works on the brain, that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.84,"endTime":1537.08,"body":"it's not the misconception, most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1533.84,"endTime":1537.08,"body":"people have just yelling out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.08,"endTime":1540.65,"body":"swear words, it's misfires in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.08,"endTime":1540.65,"body":"the brain that can come out in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.68,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"any number of different forms."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.68,"endTime":1544.82,"body":"And it can be things as mild as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1544.94,"endTime":1548.3,"body":"sniffs and rubbing your nose and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1544.94,"endTime":1548.3,"body":"coughs and things that come off"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.3,"endTime":1553.37,"body":"as allergies to little hums and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.3,"endTime":1553.37,"body":"things that get passed off as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.49,"endTime":1557.99,"body":"odd idiosyncrasies all the way"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.49,"endTime":1557.99,"body":"up to major thrashing and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.99,"endTime":1561.29,"body":"convulsions and can't walk can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.99,"endTime":1561.29,"body":"see all the things that I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.29,"endTime":1564.56,"body":"doing because at this point, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1561.29,"endTime":1564.56,"body":"on crutches or a wheelchair to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.56,"endTime":1568.49,"body":"get anywhere because I shake so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.56,"endTime":1568.49,"body":"bad. So constantly, I cannot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.49,"endTime":1573.32,"body":"walk, I can rarely, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.49,"endTime":1573.32,"body":"feed myself, it was absolutely"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.32,"endTime":1575.87,"body":"miserable. And this guy is just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1573.32,"endTime":1575.87,"body":"sitting here telling me, oh,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.93,"endTime":1578.42,"body":"it's Tourette's. And I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1575.93,"endTime":1578.42,"body":"told for years that it can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.42,"endTime":1581.93,"body":"possibly be Tourette's. And by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.42,"endTime":1581.93,"body":"this time, my Tourette's was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.93,"endTime":1585.86,"body":"more severe than most people's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.93,"endTime":1585.86,"body":"gets to, as I've learned more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.86,"endTime":1589.34,"body":"about the community and met more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1585.86,"endTime":1589.34,"body":"people, I could count off 30"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.34,"endTime":1591.68,"body":"friends right now that are in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1589.34,"endTime":1591.68,"body":"the exact same boat that I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.71,"endTime":1593.99,"body":"that have, you know, gotten"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1591.71,"endTime":1593.99,"body":"worse and worse and worse as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1593.99,"endTime":1596.39,"body":"they've aged, but they don't do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1593.99,"endTime":1596.39,"body":"studies on that. And that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.39,"endTime":1601.16,"body":"doesn't get into college books."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1596.39,"endTime":1601.16,"body":"So I go see a new neurologist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.16,"endTime":1604.19,"body":"and I'm sitting on the table"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1601.16,"endTime":1604.19,"body":"just to shake him away ripped a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.19,"endTime":1606.89,"body":"hole in the paper that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1604.19,"endTime":1606.89,"body":"sitting on. And he walks in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1606.89,"endTime":1609.41,"body":"door and was like, How long have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1606.89,"endTime":1609.41,"body":"you had Tourette's? I was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.83,"endTime":1614.06,"body":"I don't he's Oh, yes, you do."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1609.83,"endTime":1614.06,"body":"And he sent me to a specialist,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.06,"endTime":1618.71,"body":"an actual movement disorder"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1614.06,"endTime":1618.71,"body":"specialist in Dallas. And she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1622.31,"body":"officially diagnosed me because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1618.98,"endTime":1622.31,"body":"he couldn't give me an official"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.31,"endTime":1625.43,"body":"diagnosis without watching me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1622.31,"endTime":1625.43,"body":"for a year. Because it's part of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.43,"endTime":1629.3,"body":"the thing it has, you have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.43,"endTime":1629.3,"body":"have it for over a year. And she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1629.3,"endTime":1632.21,"body":"could be like, Oh, yes, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1629.3,"endTime":1632.21,"body":"absolutely Tourette's and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1632.72,"endTime":1635.39,"body":"started me on different"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1632.72,"endTime":1635.39,"body":"medications. And it helped a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.39,"endTime":1639.92,"body":"lot. And just understanding what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1635.39,"endTime":1639.92,"body":"I had meant the world to me, we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1639.92,"endTime":1643.64,"body":"drove away from that meeting,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1639.92,"endTime":1643.64,"body":"and, and my wife is just crying,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.3,"endTime":1648.59,"body":"my ex wife because all she heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1644.3,"endTime":1648.59,"body":"was, there is no cure, and it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.59,"endTime":1651.2,"body":"never gonna go away. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1648.59,"endTime":1651.2,"body":"the worst case I've ever seen."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.95,"endTime":1656.27,"body":"I'm laughing as I'm packing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1651.95,"endTime":1656.27,"body":"head into the window as we drive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.27,"endTime":1660.35,"body":"down the road. Because you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1656.27,"endTime":1660.35,"body":"what I heard is, there's a name"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.35,"endTime":1663.2,"body":"for this condition, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1660.35,"endTime":1663.2,"body":"other people have it. And while"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.2,"endTime":1667.31,"body":"yes, you may be the worst case"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1663.2,"endTime":1667.31,"body":"I've ever seen. The good news is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.31,"endTime":1670.19,"body":"it can't possibly get any worse"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1667.31,"endTime":1670.19,"body":"than this. And I thought I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.19,"endTime":1674.42,"body":"dying for years. So the thought"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1670.19,"endTime":1674.42,"body":"that I'm gonna get see my kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.42,"endTime":1677.42,"body":"grow up. That's awesome. If I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1674.42,"endTime":1677.42,"body":"have to do it from a wheelchair,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.66,"endTime":1681.05,"body":"hip hip, hooray, I thought I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1677.66,"endTime":1681.05,"body":"gonna be in a casket and a year."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.14,"endTime":1685.46,"body":"And so I was ecstatic, she was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1681.14,"endTime":1685.46,"body":"heartbroken. And that pretty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.46,"endTime":1687.95,"body":"much laid out the way the rest"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1685.46,"endTime":1687.95,"body":"of our marriage was gonna go."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1688.31,"endTime":1690.8,"body":"And that's"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1688.31,"endTime":1690.8,"body":"funny that he would have to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1691.01,"endTime":1694.67,"body":"watch you for a year, whereas"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1691.01,"endTime":1694.67,"body":"you having this, you've been"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1694.67,"endTime":1699.59,"body":"watching yourself a very, very"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1694.67,"endTime":1699.59,"body":"many years. It's just systems."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1700.01,"endTime":1704.27,"body":"So it must have been, as you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1700.01,"endTime":1704.27,"body":"say, a great relief, to know"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1704.57,"endTime":1709.1,"body":"that this is a thing. And it's"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1704.57,"endTime":1709.1,"body":"not a mystery anymore. But of"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1709.1,"endTime":1711.68,"body":"course, as you said, that"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1709.1,"endTime":1711.68,"body":"doesn't mean it's got a cure."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1712.43,"endTime":1715.88,"body":"When you were ill, you felt a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1712.43,"endTime":1715.88,"body":"sense of loss for the kinds of"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1715.88,"endTime":1718.73,"body":"things that you wanted to do,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1715.88,"endTime":1718.73,"body":"but that you couldn't do any"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1718.73,"endTime":1723.98,"body":"more. How did you readdress your"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1718.73,"endTime":1723.98,"body":"emotions around your situation,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1724.4,"endTime":1728.93,"body":"and ultimately get back to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1724.4,"endTime":1728.93,"body":"artwork, which we know that you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":1728.93,"endTime":1730.25,"body":"are able to do now."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1730.85,"endTime":1734.48,"body":"I consider myself very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1730.85,"endTime":1734.48,"body":"fortunate that I got my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1734.48,"endTime":1740.3,"body":"diagnosis. When I did. I got my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1734.48,"endTime":1740.3,"body":"diagnosis as an adult. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1740.3,"endTime":1744.23,"body":"get it as an emotional team that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1740.3,"endTime":1744.23,"body":"didn't know how to deal with his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1744.23,"endTime":1747.68,"body":"random emotions and his temper"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1744.23,"endTime":1747.68,"body":"and everything else. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1747.68,"endTime":1751.46,"body":"get the news as a child that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1747.68,"endTime":1751.46,"body":"had an incurable illness that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.46,"endTime":1754.88,"body":"was never gonna go away. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1751.46,"endTime":1754.88,"body":"know, I was a grown man. I knew"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.88,"endTime":1758.75,"body":"who I was. I knew that I had all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1754.88,"endTime":1758.75,"body":"these skills and abilities like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1758.75,"endTime":1763.31,"body":"my artwork and my creativity and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1758.75,"endTime":1763.31,"body":"my talents as a storyteller and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1763.34,"endTime":1769.25,"body":"a carpenter. I knew that I had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1763.34,"endTime":1769.25,"body":"great value that went beyond how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.25,"endTime":1774.05,"body":"well my body works. I did have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1769.25,"endTime":1774.05,"body":"to deal with a lot of loss. Like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1774.47,"endTime":1779.0,"body":"I loved kayaking. I had built my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1774.47,"endTime":1779.0,"body":"own canoe. My medication had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.0,"endTime":1782.06,"body":"gotten a lot better and I was a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1779.0,"endTime":1782.06,"body":"lot steadier and I could walk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.06,"endTime":1786.38,"body":"around without a cane for good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1782.06,"endTime":1786.38,"body":"periods of time. So I spent a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.38,"endTime":1791.81,"body":"couple of weeks taking it easy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1786.38,"endTime":1791.81,"body":"and refinished my canoe, sanded"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.81,"endTime":1794.75,"body":"it all down, repainted it and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1791.81,"endTime":1794.75,"body":"took it out on the water and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.75,"endTime":1797.75,"body":"was so excited that I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1794.75,"endTime":1797.75,"body":"finally going to be able to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1797.75,"endTime":1801.23,"body":"on the water again and start to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1797.75,"endTime":1801.23,"body":"regain Little bit of who I was."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.65,"endTime":1806.36,"body":"And I got out in the water. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1801.65,"endTime":1806.36,"body":"I made a little circle and came"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.36,"endTime":1810.47,"body":"right back to shore. Because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1806.36,"endTime":1810.47,"body":"was shaking so bad. I kept"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.47,"endTime":1813.41,"body":"dipping one side or the other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1810.47,"endTime":1813.41,"body":"the canoe in the water. And by"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1813.41,"endTime":1817.37,"body":"the time I made this little 20"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1813.41,"endTime":1817.37,"body":"foot arc, the canoe was full of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.37,"endTime":1823.55,"body":"water. And I realised while I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1817.37,"endTime":1823.55,"body":"can stand up on ground, my core"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1823.7,"endTime":1826.73,"body":"is not strong enough. And I have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1823.7,"endTime":1826.73,"body":"all these little ticks in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.73,"endTime":1832.04,"body":"body that nobody sees. But that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1826.73,"endTime":1832.04,"body":"made the boat go crazy. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1832.04,"endTime":1836.51,"body":"realised, I'm never going to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1832.04,"endTime":1836.51,"body":"able to do this again. And I got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.51,"endTime":1839.36,"body":"heartbroken and I sold my boat"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1836.51,"endTime":1839.36,"body":"and some lady bought it and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.36,"endTime":1845.99,"body":"turned it into a planter. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.36,"endTime":1845.99,"body":"and I was very heartbroken and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.99,"endTime":1849.56,"body":"having to let go of some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1845.99,"endTime":1849.56,"body":"these fundamental parts of who I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1849.56,"endTime":1854.54,"body":"knew I was going to be, was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1849.56,"endTime":1854.54,"body":"hard, I had to let myself suffer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.54,"endTime":1858.47,"body":"through the grief of losing it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.54,"endTime":1858.47,"body":"But I also couldn't let myself"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.47,"endTime":1861.08,"body":"just wallow in that grief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.47,"endTime":1861.08,"body":"forever. There's other stuff to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.08,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"do, I've got kids that you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.08,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"still need to be raised. I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.89,"endTime":1868.28,"body":"got soccer games that I've got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.89,"endTime":1868.28,"body":"to go to all kinds of stuff that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.28,"endTime":1871.91,"body":"needs to be done. I can't just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.28,"endTime":1871.91,"body":"give up and wallow in it. Now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.91,"endTime":1876.29,"body":"I've got to still be there for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1871.91,"endTime":1876.29,"body":"my kids. And sometimes all I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.29,"endTime":1880.31,"body":"could do to be there for my kids"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.29,"endTime":1880.31,"body":"was to be stuck in my recliner"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.31,"endTime":1883.52,"body":"in the living room and talk with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1880.31,"endTime":1883.52,"body":"them when they got home from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.52,"endTime":1886.58,"body":"school. And, you know, remind"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1883.52,"endTime":1886.58,"body":"them to get on their homework"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.58,"endTime":1889.28,"body":"and remind them to do their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1886.58,"endTime":1889.28,"body":"chores and tell them that I love"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.28,"endTime":1891.2,"body":"them. And you know that I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.28,"endTime":1891.2,"body":"proud of them and that they're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.23,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"beautiful. You know, sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1891.23,"endTime":1894.29,"body":"that was all I could do. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1897.56,"body":"sometimes I was very dependent"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1894.29,"endTime":1897.56,"body":"on them just to be able to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1897.56,"endTime":1900.92,"body":"food because I could not get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1897.56,"endTime":1900.92,"body":"the kitchen and back with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.92,"endTime":1903.89,"body":"drink without dumping it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1900.92,"endTime":1903.89,"body":"everywhere. I can't remember the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1903.89,"endTime":1906.62,"body":"last time I drank out of a cup"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1903.89,"endTime":1906.62,"body":"without a lid and a straw."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.92,"endTime":1912.14,"body":"Because I can't be trusted with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1906.92,"endTime":1912.14,"body":"them, I will dump them. And but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.77,"endTime":1916.37,"body":"as long as I focused on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1912.77,"endTime":1916.37,"body":"things that I still had and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.37,"endTime":1919.64,"body":"blessings that I still had, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1916.37,"endTime":1919.64,"body":"had a lot of good friends that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.64,"endTime":1924.08,"body":"had surrounded me, I counted the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.64,"endTime":1924.08,"body":"fact that my ex wife didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1930.08,"body":"leave as a blessing, she didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1924.08,"endTime":1930.08,"body":"stay. There's a difference, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1930.08,"endTime":1933.95,"body":"did not choose to stay, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1930.08,"endTime":1933.95,"body":"chose not to leave two very,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.95,"endTime":1936.2,"body":"very different things. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1933.95,"endTime":1936.2,"body":"still counted as a blessing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.2,"endTime":1941.93,"body":"because I wasn't on my own for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1936.2,"endTime":1941.93,"body":"while. And I had three amazing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1941.93,"endTime":1945.08,"body":"boys and I got a whole gaggle of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1941.93,"endTime":1945.08,"body":"kids and daughter in laws and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1945.08,"endTime":1948.74,"body":"grandbabies. And, you know, if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1945.08,"endTime":1948.74,"body":"had never got my ability to walk"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1948.74,"endTime":1951.53,"body":"back, I would still be blessed."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1948.74,"endTime":1951.53,"body":"I've made a lot of friends in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1951.53,"endTime":1956.33,"body":"the trans community, I learned a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1951.53,"endTime":1956.33,"body":"lot from them, I learned how to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.75,"endTime":1959.75,"body":"surf the waves of Tourette's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1956.75,"endTime":1959.75,"body":"more than just standing in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.75,"endTime":1962.39,"body":"ocean and try and fight against"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1959.75,"endTime":1962.39,"body":"the waves. Because if you stand"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.39,"endTime":1964.46,"body":"in the ocean and try and find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1962.39,"endTime":1964.46,"body":"it, you're gonna lose. But if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.46,"endTime":1968.3,"body":"you learn to ride the waves and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1964.46,"endTime":1968.3,"body":"go with it, and let that one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.3,"endTime":1971.93,"body":"tick come out, then that one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1968.3,"endTime":1971.93,"body":"tick comes out, it's done. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.93,"endTime":1975.38,"body":"wait for the next one, and you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1971.93,"endTime":1975.38,"body":"ride that wave. But if you just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.38,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"trust it, stand there trying to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1975.38,"endTime":1978.2,"body":"fight it, it's going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1981.47,"body":"overwhelm you. And next thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1978.2,"endTime":1981.47,"body":"you know, I'm thrashing around"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.47,"endTime":1985.04,"body":"on the ground and a giant tick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1981.47,"endTime":1985.04,"body":"fit. So learning not to fight it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1985.04,"endTime":1988.25,"body":"was a huge help learning to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1985.04,"endTime":1988.25,"body":"manage my stress learning that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1988.25,"endTime":1991.49,"body":"need to get enough exercise and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1988.25,"endTime":1991.49,"body":"I need to eat regularly and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1991.49,"endTime":1994.43,"body":"gotta get enough sleep. All"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1991.49,"endTime":1994.43,"body":"these things helped make it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.43,"endTime":1998.39,"body":"better, finding a better mix of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1994.43,"endTime":1998.39,"body":"medicines that had side effects"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1998.39,"endTime":2003.52,"body":"I could live with and good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1998.39,"endTime":2003.52,"body":"benefit was a huge help. And all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.52,"endTime":2006.94,"body":"those things together have got"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2003.52,"endTime":2006.94,"body":"me back to the point now where I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2006.94,"endTime":2011.47,"body":"can walk around a good while"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2006.94,"endTime":2011.47,"body":"with a cane. The idea of going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2011.47,"endTime":2015.28,"body":"to like a comic book convention"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2011.47,"endTime":2015.28,"body":"without a wheelchair was an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.28,"endTime":2019.81,"body":"impossible idea five years ago,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2015.28,"endTime":2019.81,"body":"and now I go all the time that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.81,"endTime":2022.78,"body":"walk across some of those"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2019.81,"endTime":2022.78,"body":"buildings kicks my butt, but I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2022.78,"endTime":2027.16,"body":"can make it to my table and sit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2022.78,"endTime":2027.16,"body":"down and work all day. Go visit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.16,"endTime":2030.67,"body":"friends on the floor, it kicks"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2027.16,"endTime":2030.67,"body":"my butt, but I can do it without"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.67,"endTime":2032.23,"body":"my wheelchair and I praise God"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2030.67,"endTime":2032.23,"body":"for"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2034.3,"endTime":2037.72,"body":"creativity."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2034.3,"endTime":2037.72,"body":"found.co.uk is the place to go"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2037.72,"endTime":2041.59,"body":"to find workshops, courses,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2037.72,"endTime":2041.59,"body":"supplies, kits and books to help"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2041.59,"endTime":2045.82,"body":"you get creative. So if you're"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2041.59,"endTime":2045.82,"body":"looking for your own creativity"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2045.82,"endTime":2049.48,"body":"found experience, go have a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2045.82,"endTime":2049.48,"body":"browse to see what's on offer so"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2049.48,"endTime":2053.5,"body":"far. And if you can help adults"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2049.48,"endTime":2053.5,"body":"to find their new creative"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2053.5,"endTime":2056.98,"body":"passion, please get in touch on"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2053.5,"endTime":2056.98,"body":"social media or through the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2056.98,"endTime":2063.94,"body":"contact details on the website."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2056.98,"endTime":2063.94,"body":"So it's quite a difference and a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2063.94,"endTime":2067.21,"body":"long way that you've come"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2063.94,"endTime":2067.21,"body":"because you've talked about"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2067.21,"endTime":2072.04,"body":"being in the recliner and unable"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2067.21,"endTime":2072.04,"body":"to do anything other than you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2072.04,"endTime":2075.01,"body":"know, talk to your children. At"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2072.04,"endTime":2075.01,"body":"what point when you're"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2075.01,"endTime":2079.39,"body":"negotiating your symptoms and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2075.01,"endTime":2079.39,"body":"figuring out what works for you."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2079.84,"endTime":2085.72,"body":"Were you able to or encouraged"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2079.84,"endTime":2085.72,"body":"to or decided to pick up her pen"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2085.9,"endTime":2090.55,"body":"if that's what you work with and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2085.9,"endTime":2090.55,"body":"start drawing and writing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.97,"endTime":2093.82,"body":"You know I've always"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2090.97,"endTime":2093.82,"body":"been a prolific artist and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.82,"endTime":2096.46,"body":"creator and would fill"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2093.82,"endTime":2096.46,"body":"sketchbook after sketchbook"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.46,"endTime":2100.0,"body":"after sketchbook and I was"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2096.46,"endTime":2100.0,"body":"always looking for the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.0,"endTime":2102.52,"body":"opportunity, the right"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2100.0,"endTime":2102.52,"body":"connection, the right way to get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2102.52,"endTime":2106.48,"body":"into comics and just couldn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2102.52,"endTime":2106.48,"body":"find it from Arkansas. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.51,"endTime":2110.23,"body":"once I married my ex wife, she"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2106.51,"endTime":2110.23,"body":"shot down everything that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2110.23,"endTime":2113.32,"body":"tried to do. And with all the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2110.23,"endTime":2113.32,"body":"stresses of life, it didn't take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2113.35,"endTime":2117.01,"body":"a whole lot of discouragement to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2113.35,"endTime":2117.01,"body":"knock me down and get me to quit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.01,"endTime":2120.25,"body":"trying that one, I'll try"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2117.01,"endTime":2120.25,"body":"something else. And for years, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.25,"endTime":2124.3,"body":"really couldn't do anything, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2120.25,"endTime":2124.3,"body":"couldn't hardly draw a line,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2124.36,"endTime":2127.72,"body":"much less draw a character,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2124.36,"endTime":2127.72,"body":"eventually, I would get to where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2127.72,"endTime":2131.53,"body":"I'd have little bits of little"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2127.72,"endTime":2131.53,"body":"bits of good time, you know, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.53,"endTime":2135.61,"body":"maybe a half hour, 45 minutes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2131.53,"endTime":2135.61,"body":"And I would draw just for the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.61,"endTime":2138.97,"body":"fun of it, because I missed it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2135.61,"endTime":2138.97,"body":"And then eventually, I got on a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.97,"endTime":2142.6,"body":"mixer meds, not the one I'm on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2138.97,"endTime":2142.6,"body":"now. But it had a pretty good,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.99,"endTime":2147.25,"body":"pretty good effect, I was still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2142.99,"endTime":2147.25,"body":"pretty shaky, I still couldn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2147.25,"endTime":2152.23,"body":"really walk around and stuff"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2147.25,"endTime":2152.23,"body":"very well on my own. But I could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2152.23,"endTime":2157.12,"body":"draw in my sketchbook a lot"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2152.23,"endTime":2157.12,"body":"more. And I was wondering if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.12,"endTime":2160.78,"body":"could possibly start doing a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2157.12,"endTime":2160.78,"body":"little bit of work. Even if it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.77,"body":"was only booking like an hour's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2160.78,"endTime":2164.77,"body":"worth of work a week, I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.77,"endTime":2169.72,"body":"to wonder if I could do this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2164.77,"endTime":2169.72,"body":"And then I started watching more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.72,"endTime":2172.48,"body":"and more about people that draw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2169.72,"endTime":2172.48,"body":"digitally and the tools that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.48,"endTime":2177.76,"body":"they would use, and I wondered"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2172.48,"endTime":2177.76,"body":"if maybe that would help offset"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2177.76,"endTime":2181.57,"body":"some of my shakiness and some of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2177.76,"endTime":2181.57,"body":"the stuff that I can't do. Now,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2181.6,"endTime":2185.65,"body":"I used to do amazing work with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2181.6,"endTime":2185.65,"body":"fine brush and a bottle of ink."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.71,"endTime":2190.09,"body":"I can't do that anymore. But I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2185.71,"endTime":2190.09,"body":"see these guys getting"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2190.09,"endTime":2193.93,"body":"brushstrokes on the computer."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2190.09,"endTime":2193.93,"body":"And they don't have to worry"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2193.93,"endTime":2196.09,"body":"about dumping ink all over"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2193.93,"endTime":2196.09,"body":"themselves and all over the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.09,"endTime":2200.68,"body":"carpet. It got me wondering, so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2196.09,"endTime":2200.68,"body":"I begged and begged and begged"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2200.68,"endTime":2205.27,"body":"my ex wife to let me take part"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2200.68,"endTime":2205.27,"body":"of the tax returns one year and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2205.3,"endTime":2209.92,"body":"get a laptop that I could draw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2205.3,"endTime":2209.92,"body":"on. And she finally relented I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.92,"endTime":2213.82,"body":"got the laptop and it took a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2209.92,"endTime":2213.82,"body":"while to learn how to do it. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2213.82,"endTime":2217.96,"body":"had started drawing on like a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2213.82,"endTime":2217.96,"body":"Kindle Fire and realised okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2217.96,"endTime":2221.8,"body":"there's something here then once"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2217.96,"endTime":2221.8,"body":"I got better software and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.8,"endTime":2225.07,"body":"could adjust the settings on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2221.8,"endTime":2225.07,"body":"brushes and I could adjust"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2225.13,"endTime":2229.48,"body":"adjust the post correction so it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2225.13,"endTime":2229.48,"body":"would it would offset my tremor"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.55,"body":"in my hand and I could get"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.55,"body":"smoother lines. And I started"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2234.55,"endTime":2237.49,"body":"realising you know, I can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2234.55,"endTime":2237.49,"body":"this. This is work somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.49,"endTime":2240.4,"body":"might pay for. I still didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2237.49,"endTime":2240.4,"body":"know how much I could keep up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2240.4,"endTime":2243.43,"body":"with and Tourette Syndrome"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2240.4,"endTime":2243.43,"body":"Awareness month was coming. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2243.43,"endTime":2246.55,"body":"so I decided I was going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2243.43,"endTime":2246.55,"body":"challenge myself to draw"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.55,"endTime":2251.53,"body":"something, some little one"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2246.55,"endTime":2251.53,"body":"something every day for 30 days."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2251.62,"endTime":2254.56,"body":"And I had a couple of jokes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2251.62,"endTime":2254.56,"body":"about Tourette syndrome that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.56,"endTime":2257.2,"body":"wanted to draw out so I drew"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2254.56,"endTime":2257.2,"body":"them and I shared them in some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2257.2,"endTime":2261.19,"body":"of the threads groups. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2257.2,"endTime":2261.19,"body":"grew into a cartoon called"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2261.22,"endTime":2264.67,"body":"Tourette's life that I did for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2261.22,"endTime":2264.67,"body":"couple of years that was all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2264.67,"endTime":2267.46,"body":"about my life with Tourette's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2264.67,"endTime":2267.46,"body":"because I realised very quickly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.58,"endTime":2271.72,"body":"when I would show some of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2267.58,"endTime":2271.72,"body":"tics on a generic cartoon"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.72,"endTime":2275.35,"body":"person. People would come at me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2271.72,"endTime":2275.35,"body":"screaming, that's not what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2275.35,"endTime":2278.14,"body":"Tourette syndrome is, you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2275.35,"endTime":2278.14,"body":"lying to people. But I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2282.37,"body":"This is my life. This is exactly"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2282.37,"body":"what I do. So I realised I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2282.37,"endTime":2287.74,"body":"got to make this me. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2282.37,"endTime":2287.74,"body":"it's just my autobiography. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2287.74,"endTime":2290.83,"body":"might not be on crutches like I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2287.74,"endTime":2290.83,"body":"am in this picture. You might"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2290.83,"endTime":2293.92,"body":"not be in a wheelchair like I am"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2290.83,"endTime":2293.92,"body":"in this picture. But that's what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2293.92,"endTime":2298.69,"body":"my Tourette's is. And this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2293.92,"endTime":2298.69,"body":"what it does to me. And so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.69,"endTime":2301.42,"body":"helped cut out a whole lot of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2298.69,"endTime":2301.42,"body":"the This isn't what Tourette"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2301.42,"endTime":2304.75,"body":"syndrome is tresses put you in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2301.42,"endTime":2304.75,"body":"wheelchair. So I started doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2304.75,"endTime":2308.26,"body":"Tourette's life. And eventually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2304.75,"endTime":2308.26,"body":"it became like a daily thing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2308.38,"endTime":2311.98,"body":"And a friend was like, you've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2308.38,"endTime":2311.98,"body":"got to set up a fanpage for this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2311.98,"endTime":2315.34,"body":"and get it off of your regular"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2311.98,"endTime":2315.34,"body":"Facebook page. So I did. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2315.34,"endTime":2318.58,"body":"was like, you know, when when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2315.34,"endTime":2318.58,"body":"Tourette Syndrome Awareness"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2318.58,"endTime":2322.39,"body":"month is over, if there's 30"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2318.58,"endTime":2322.39,"body":"people following this thing,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2322.6,"endTime":2326.32,"body":"I'll keep doing it. Within a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2322.6,"endTime":2326.32,"body":"week I had like 1000 followers,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.32,"endTime":2329.65,"body":"and then like 2000 followers,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2326.32,"endTime":2329.65,"body":"and then some of the cartoons I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2329.65,"endTime":2334.15,"body":"did have been seen by like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2329.65,"endTime":2334.15,"body":"800,000 people around the world"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.15,"endTime":2338.17,"body":"and stuff, which is really cool."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2334.15,"endTime":2338.17,"body":"So I kept doing it. And I did it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2338.17,"endTime":2341.71,"body":"for a couple of years. And it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2338.17,"endTime":2341.71,"body":"got a little bit less than fewer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.71,"endTime":2344.8,"body":"far between as we went and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2341.71,"endTime":2344.8,"body":"realised I'm spending all my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2344.8,"endTime":2347.98,"body":"time in this cartoon, telling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2344.8,"endTime":2347.98,"body":"people that they can do whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.98,"endTime":2350.2,"body":"they want to do, and they can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2347.98,"endTime":2350.2,"body":"chase their dream. And I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2350.2,"endTime":2353.8,"body":"realised I'm not chasing my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2350.2,"endTime":2353.8,"body":"dream, I'm not doing the thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.8,"endTime":2356.62,"body":"that I really want to do. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2353.8,"endTime":2356.62,"body":"what I really want to be doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.62,"endTime":2359.77,"body":"is telling stories, I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2356.62,"endTime":2359.77,"body":"be telling my own stories, I had"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2359.77,"endTime":2363.58,"body":"all these characters and all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2359.77,"endTime":2363.58,"body":"these worlds, I had 30 years"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.58,"endTime":2366.58,"body":"where the stories piled up in my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2363.58,"endTime":2366.58,"body":"head that I wanted to tell. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.58,"endTime":2369.67,"body":"eventually I had to say, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2366.58,"endTime":2369.67,"body":"I'm stepping away so I can start"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2369.67,"endTime":2373.36,"body":"focusing on doing what I really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2369.67,"endTime":2373.36,"body":"love. And I'd had a friend that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2373.36,"endTime":2376.48,"body":"had been pressuring me to see if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2373.36,"endTime":2376.48,"body":"I would draw one of his comics"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2376.48,"endTime":2380.89,"body":"for him. And he was a local kid,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2376.48,"endTime":2380.89,"body":"and I was like, Sure I'll give"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2380.89,"endTime":2384.7,"body":"it a shot. It'll see if I can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2380.89,"endTime":2384.7,"body":"it. I knocked out his book very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2384.7,"endTime":2387.67,"body":"quickly. I was knocking out two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2384.7,"endTime":2387.67,"body":"or three full colour pages a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2387.67,"endTime":2392.77,"body":"day. The artwork was simple,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2387.67,"endTime":2392.77,"body":"very 90s styled but I was like,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2392.8,"endTime":2396.94,"body":"Oh man, this is great. I can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2392.8,"endTime":2396.94,"body":"this. And so I started offering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2396.94,"endTime":2399.28,"body":"more of my work online and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2396.94,"endTime":2399.28,"body":"started getting more"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2399.28,"endTime":2402.91,"body":"commissions. And next thing you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2399.28,"endTime":2402.91,"body":"know, I made some friends on my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.91,"endTime":2406.87,"body":"first job that ended up giving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2402.91,"endTime":2406.87,"body":"me more jobs and introducing me"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2406.87,"endTime":2409.81,"body":"to more his friends. And then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2406.87,"endTime":2409.81,"body":"next thing you know, I'm working"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2409.81,"endTime":2413.77,"body":"full time as a comic book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2409.81,"endTime":2413.77,"body":"artist. And when my ex just up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2413.77,"endTime":2416.59,"body":"and disappeared one day, my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2413.77,"endTime":2416.59,"body":"friends in the comic book"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2416.59,"endTime":2419.38,"body":"community gathered around and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2416.59,"endTime":2419.38,"body":"we're like shouting everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2419.38,"endTime":2422.02,"body":"out, like, Hey, I know somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2419.38,"endTime":2422.02,"body":"has been looking for work from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2422.02,"endTime":2424.87,"body":"fish, he could use some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2422.02,"endTime":2424.87,"body":"Commission's right now. And next"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2424.87,"endTime":2428.26,"body":"thing, you know, I was booked up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2424.87,"endTime":2428.26,"body":"with like six months of prepaid"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2428.26,"endTime":2431.44,"body":"work, just waiting on me, all I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2428.26,"endTime":2431.44,"body":"had to do was do it. And then I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.44,"endTime":2435.22,"body":"can move the money to my bank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2431.44,"endTime":2435.22,"body":"account. And I'm having to pick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2435.22,"endTime":2438.13,"body":"and choose and not just take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2435.22,"endTime":2438.13,"body":"whatever I can get anymore. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.13,"endTime":2442.15,"body":"that's an amazing feeling. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2438.13,"endTime":2442.15,"body":"could not be happier with my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2442.15,"endTime":2444.88,"body":"life right now. I mean, it'd be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2442.15,"endTime":2444.88,"body":"nice not to have Tourette's, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.88,"endTime":2448.39,"body":"guess. But I would also lose all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2444.88,"endTime":2448.39,"body":"my creativity and my speed, I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2448.39,"endTime":2452.35,"body":"so much faster. You know, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2448.39,"endTime":2452.35,"body":"would lose all of that if my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.35,"endTime":2455.32,"body":"brain didn't work the way it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2452.35,"endTime":2455.32,"body":"did. So I'm grateful for it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2455.32,"endTime":2456.01,"body":"ultimately."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2457.0,"endTime":2459.76,"body":"And do you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2457.0,"endTime":2459.76,"body":"think that the artwork, you're"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2459.76,"endTime":2462.88,"body":"saying in some ways the"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2459.76,"endTime":2462.88,"body":"Tourette's helps the way you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2462.88,"endTime":2470.02,"body":"work? Do you think that doing"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2462.88,"endTime":2470.02,"body":"the artwork, helps you in other"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2470.02,"endTime":2476.59,"body":"ways, benefits your health,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2470.02,"endTime":2476.59,"body":"maybe or your general well being"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2476.59,"endTime":2477.97,"body":"lifestyle,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2478.45,"endTime":2482.5,"body":"usually, I mean, as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2478.45,"endTime":2482.5,"body":"long as the job is easy, and the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2482.5,"endTime":2484.63,"body":"team's easy to work with,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2482.5,"endTime":2484.63,"body":"sometimes they're difficult."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.63,"endTime":2488.35,"body":"Sometimes there's other things,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2484.63,"endTime":2488.35,"body":"you know, that make it a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2488.35,"endTime":2493.72,"body":"challenging job. But most of the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2488.35,"endTime":2493.72,"body":"time, my jobs are absolute fun,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2493.81,"endTime":2498.58,"body":"and is just sheer joy to get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2493.81,"endTime":2498.58,"body":"do all day. It's just such a fun"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2498.58,"endTime":2501.52,"body":"job. And I enjoy it, I get to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2498.58,"endTime":2501.52,"body":"use all the parts of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2501.52,"endTime":2508.3,"body":"creativity. And when I get hyper"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2501.52,"endTime":2508.3,"body":"focused on my work, it puts all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.3,"endTime":2511.75,"body":"my tics on the back burner for a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2508.3,"endTime":2511.75,"body":"while now sometimes they come"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2511.75,"endTime":2515.32,"body":"back with a vengeance once I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2511.75,"endTime":2515.32,"body":"quit. Once I put the work down,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2515.35,"endTime":2519.91,"body":"I start ticking really bad"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2515.35,"endTime":2519.91,"body":"afterwards, sometimes. But all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.91,"endTime":2525.19,"body":"day long, I've been able to work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2519.91,"endTime":2525.19,"body":"and be fine. Now, some days,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.19,"endTime":2527.77,"body":"that means like, when I stopped"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2525.19,"endTime":2527.77,"body":"for dinner, when my wife gets"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2527.77,"endTime":2531.67,"body":"home, and I realised Whoa, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2527.77,"endTime":2531.67,"body":"can't walk to the dinner table,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2531.67,"endTime":2534.88,"body":"I'm too shaky. So she has to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2531.67,"endTime":2534.88,"body":"bring me my dinner in my chair"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2534.91,"endTime":2538.45,"body":"and eat and we sit and visit for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2534.91,"endTime":2538.45,"body":"a minute, and I'm too shaky and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2538.45,"endTime":2541.9,"body":"Tiki to get up and do laundry."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2538.45,"endTime":2541.9,"body":"I'm too shaky to get up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2541.9,"endTime":2545.89,"body":"clear the table. So sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2541.9,"endTime":2545.89,"body":"the only thing I can do to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.89,"endTime":2549.16,"body":"really be of service to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2545.89,"endTime":2549.16,"body":"family is go back to work for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.16,"endTime":2552.22,"body":"the evening. Because I know when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2549.16,"endTime":2552.22,"body":"I hyper focus on my work again,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2552.7,"endTime":2555.94,"body":"the tics are going to subside"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2552.7,"endTime":2555.94,"body":"for now. And then when I quit,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2555.97,"endTime":2559.72,"body":"I'll dance my way to the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2555.97,"endTime":2559.72,"body":"bedroom. But you know, I can do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2559.72,"endTime":2563.11,"body":"something right now that will"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2559.72,"endTime":2563.11,"body":"earn us money that can pay the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2563.11,"endTime":2567.46,"body":"rent that is beneficial to my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2563.11,"endTime":2567.46,"body":"family, since I can't get up and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2567.46,"endTime":2570.16,"body":"do the dishes right now. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2567.46,"endTime":2570.16,"body":"still sitting in the same room"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2570.16,"endTime":2572.38,"body":"with my wife, and we're watching"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2570.16,"endTime":2572.38,"body":"TV and we're talking about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2572.38,"endTime":2575.8,"body":"what's going on. I'm just, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2572.38,"endTime":2575.8,"body":"know, drawing people beating"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2575.8,"endTime":2579.1,"body":"themselves up in their underwear"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2575.8,"endTime":2579.1,"body":"while we're doing that, which is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2579.49,"endTime":2582.58,"body":"hilarious. I love my job. It is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2579.49,"endTime":2582.58,"body":"so much fun."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2583.66,"endTime":2586.6,"body":"That sounds"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2583.66,"endTime":2586.6,"body":"fabulous. Tell me about your"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2586.6,"endTime":2588.82,"body":"plans for your own books."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2589.39,"endTime":2593.17,"body":"Oh, I am so excited for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2589.39,"endTime":2593.17,"body":"my book, Green Zone life in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2593.17,"endTime":2597.34,"body":"blocks. It's published through"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2593.17,"endTime":2597.34,"body":"freestyle comics. I published my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2597.34,"endTime":2602.05,"body":"very first comic myself, ran a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2597.34,"endTime":2602.05,"body":"Kickstarter to fund it, shipped"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2602.05,"endTime":2605.62,"body":"it all out, did all the ordering"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2602.05,"endTime":2605.62,"body":"and stuff myself. And I realised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2605.65,"endTime":2609.34,"body":"I hate being a publisher don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2605.65,"endTime":2609.34,"body":"like it stresses me out. That's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2609.34,"endTime":2613.54,"body":"not stuff. I'm good at organised"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2609.34,"endTime":2613.54,"body":"lists, making sure everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.54,"endTime":2617.5,"body":"gets exactly what they ordered."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2613.54,"endTime":2617.5,"body":"That sends my anxiety and my OCD"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2617.5,"endTime":2621.28,"body":"into overdrive. And I have to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2617.5,"endTime":2621.28,"body":"check everything 50 times, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2621.28,"endTime":2625.0,"body":"it's just far too stressful. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2621.28,"endTime":2625.0,"body":"just spent three months filling"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.0,"endTime":2629.98,"body":"orders and taking orders and no"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2625.0,"endTime":2629.98,"body":"opportunity to draw and that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2629.98,"endTime":2633.16,"body":"time. And I realised right then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2629.98,"endTime":2633.16,"body":"and there, if I'm going to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.16,"endTime":2635.5,"body":"this again, I gotta find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2633.16,"endTime":2635.5,"body":"somebody else to help with this,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2635.5,"endTime":2638.35,"body":"because I'm not good at that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2635.5,"endTime":2638.35,"body":"And it's a story I've been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2638.35,"endTime":2641.62,"body":"working on for a long time. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2638.35,"endTime":2641.62,"body":"know, I imagine what would it be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2641.62,"endTime":2645.31,"body":"like, if people were actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2641.62,"endTime":2645.31,"body":"just randomly born with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2645.31,"endTime":2648.01,"body":"superpowers like they are in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2645.31,"endTime":2648.01,"body":"comic books, if there really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2648.01,"endTime":2651.67,"body":"were mutants or in my world"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2648.01,"endTime":2651.67,"body":"genomes that are just born with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2651.67,"endTime":2654.64,"body":"superpowers, I did not think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2651.67,"endTime":2654.64,"body":"that would go over very well. So"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.64,"endTime":2658.63,"body":"in this world, after some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2654.64,"endTime":2658.63,"body":"tragedies at schools with, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2658.63,"endTime":2661.3,"body":"know, Genomes getting bullied"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2658.63,"endTime":2661.3,"body":"and blowing up out of the, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2661.3,"endTime":2665.08,"body":"know, stress or the powers going"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2661.3,"endTime":2665.08,"body":"off and too many people turning"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.08,"endTime":2668.11,"body":"to a life of crime, because you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2665.08,"endTime":2668.11,"body":"know, they're living in poverty"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.11,"endTime":2670.96,"body":"and robbing a bank is easier if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2668.11,"endTime":2670.96,"body":"nobody will give you a job"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2670.96,"endTime":2673.51,"body":"because you shoot lasers out of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2670.96,"endTime":2673.51,"body":"your elbows. I didn't think it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2673.51,"endTime":2676.09,"body":"would go well. So in this world,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2673.51,"endTime":2676.09,"body":"it's illegal to have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2676.09,"endTime":2679.66,"body":"superpowers. And if you're a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2676.09,"endTime":2679.66,"body":"genome, you know, as soon as you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.66,"endTime":2682.99,"body":"get found out, whether that's at"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2679.66,"endTime":2682.99,"body":"birth, or you mutate later in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2682.99,"endTime":2686.11,"body":"life, you lose all your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2682.99,"endTime":2686.11,"body":"citizenship, all your rights,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2686.14,"endTime":2688.69,"body":"and you get shoved into green"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2686.14,"endTime":2688.69,"body":"zones. 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I mean, you can work"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2699.58,"endTime":2702.85,"body":"illegal jobs and try and work an"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2702.85,"endTime":2705.88,"body":"illegal food card or something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2702.85,"endTime":2705.88,"body":"or work construction there. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2705.91,"endTime":2708.73,"body":"you can't really leave the green"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2705.91,"endTime":2708.73,"body":"zone, you can't make a better"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2708.73,"endTime":2711.28,"body":"life for yourself. You can't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2708.73,"endTime":2711.28,"body":"vote, you can't own property,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2711.28,"endTime":2714.76,"body":"you can't register a business"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2711.28,"endTime":2714.76,"body":"unless you get your citizenship."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2714.76,"endTime":2717.55,"body":"And the only way to do that is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2714.76,"endTime":2717.55,"body":"to prove that you're not a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2717.55,"endTime":2721.42,"body":"threat to humanity first. So you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2717.55,"endTime":2721.42,"body":"have to serve the greater good"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2721.42,"endTime":2725.41,"body":"for five years, either in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2721.42,"endTime":2725.41,"body":"military fire department, or in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2725.41,"endTime":2728.56,"body":"this case, the police force. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2725.41,"endTime":2728.56,"body":"so we're following a group of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2728.56,"endTime":2732.01,"body":"new recruits on the police force"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2728.56,"endTime":2732.01,"body":"on their first shift. It's a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2732.01,"endTime":2735.25,"body":"group of people that are very"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2732.01,"endTime":2735.25,"body":"poorly equipped to be police"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2735.25,"endTime":2739.45,"body":"officers, but they desperately"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2735.25,"endTime":2739.45,"body":"want out of the blocks, the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2739.45,"endTime":2742.9,"body":"humans look at the genome"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2739.45,"endTime":2742.9,"body":"officers as mall cops at best,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2743.2,"endTime":2745.99,"body":"and the genomes look at them as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2743.2,"endTime":2745.99,"body":"race traders that have turned"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2745.99,"endTime":2750.1,"body":"against their own kind. So it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2745.99,"endTime":2750.1,"body":"a no win situation. Everybody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2750.1,"endTime":2752.53,"body":"hates you. It's brutal. But you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2750.1,"endTime":2752.53,"body":"know, do you want your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2752.53,"endTime":2755.65,"body":"citizenship bad enough? You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2752.53,"endTime":2755.65,"body":"gotta follow along to find out"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2755.83,"endTime":2760.63,"body":"you can follow along the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2755.83,"endTime":2760.63,"body":"freestyle comics that FSK now"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2760.63,"endTime":2764.32,"body":"website, you can buy the issues"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2760.63,"endTime":2764.32,"body":"there that are already out. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2764.32,"endTime":2767.77,"body":"can follow along on news you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2764.32,"endTime":2767.77,"body":"follow us on Facebook and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2768.25,"endTime":2770.38,"body":"Twitter and Instagram and all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2768.25,"endTime":2770.38,"body":"that stuff."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2770.409,"endTime":2774.039,"body":"Speaking of"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2770.409,"endTime":2774.039,"body":"which, give me your handles"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2774.039,"endTime":2778.899,"body":"fish. Where can people find you"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2774.039,"endTime":2778.899,"body":"on various platforms?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2779.29,"endTime":2784.81,"body":"I am Mr. Fish comics"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2779.29,"endTime":2784.81,"body":"everywhere. Sometimes it's Mr"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2784.81,"endTime":2789.88,"body":"dot fish dot comics. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2784.81,"endTime":2789.88,"body":"it's an underscore, but a Mr."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2789.88,"endTime":2793.84,"body":"Fish comics on Facebook tick"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2789.88,"endTime":2793.84,"body":"tock. I'm having to rebuild my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2793.84,"endTime":2797.14,"body":"Instagram account again from"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2793.84,"endTime":2797.14,"body":"scratch. But I'm on tick tock"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2797.14,"endTime":2800.89,"body":"and I'm on Facebook. And you can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2797.14,"endTime":2800.89,"body":"find me on the agents of Geekdom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2800.89,"endTime":2804.01,"body":"network all the time, because"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2800.89,"endTime":2804.01,"body":"I'm on the five star Friday"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2804.01,"endTime":2807.07,"body":"show. I like to jump in and fill"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2804.01,"endTime":2807.07,"body":"in with other people and their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2807.07,"endTime":2810.55,"body":"shows a week of shows just about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2807.07,"endTime":2810.55,"body":"every night for something and a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2810.55,"endTime":2813.01,"body":"bunch of us have come together"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2810.55,"endTime":2813.01,"body":"from different publishers and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2813.01,"endTime":2816.19,"body":"different groups and put a watch"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2813.01,"endTime":2816.19,"body":"all our shows together so you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2816.19,"endTime":2818.83,"body":"can find a bunch of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2816.19,"endTime":2818.83,"body":"entertainment in one spot. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2818.83,"endTime":2819.94,"body":"got some talented folks and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2822.28,"endTime":2826.12,"body":"really Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2822.28,"endTime":2826.12,"body":"that's exciting. Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2826.12,"endTime":2830.68,"body":"much for speaking with me today"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2826.12,"endTime":2830.68,"body":"finish. I really enjoyed this"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2830.68,"endTime":2832.72,"body":"chat. So thanks for sharing."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2832.899,"endTime":2834.399,"body":"Thank you. I appreciate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2832.899,"endTime":2834.399,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2836.44,"endTime":2838.36,"body":"Thanks so"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2836.44,"endTime":2838.36,"body":"much for listening to creativity"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2838.36,"endTime":2842.11,"body":"found. If your podcast app has"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2838.36,"endTime":2842.11,"body":"the facility, please leave a"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2842.11,"endTime":2846.73,"body":"rating and review to help other"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2842.11,"endTime":2846.73,"body":"people find us on Instagram and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2846.73,"endTime":2851.53,"body":"Facebook follow up to creativity"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2846.73,"endTime":2851.53,"body":"found podcast and on Pinterest"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2851.53,"endTime":2855.97,"body":"look for at creativity found."},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2851.53,"endTime":2855.97,"body":"And finally, don't forget to"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2855.97,"endTime":2860.98,"body":"check out creativity found.co.uk"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2855.97,"endTime":2860.98,"body":"The website connecting adults"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2860.98,"endTime":2864.1,"body":"who wants to find a creative"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2860.98,"endTime":2864.1,"body":"outlet with the artists and"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2864.1,"endTime":2867.61,"body":"crafters who can help them tap"},{"speaker":"Claire Waite Brown","startTime":2864.1,"endTime":2867.61,"body":"into their creativity."}]}