{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":8.495,"endTime":11.718,"body":"My effort was on trying to figure out how to be a grown-up and"},{"startTime":11.779,"endTime":14.982,"body":"pay our bills and have this child. And even though I"},{"startTime":15.022,"endTime":18.626,"body":"had always liked writing, it's really"},{"startTime":18.786,"endTime":22.57,"body":"hard to write in noise and in chaos. It"},{"startTime":22.61,"endTime":25.973,"body":"was really a way of tapping into my creative self,"},{"startTime":26.334,"endTime":30.398,"body":"but being able to do it in a way that didn't seem to fight the life I had. The"},{"startTime":30.478,"endTime":33.801,"body":"fun for me is figuring out how do I create a space of"},{"startTime":33.901,"endTime":37.384,"body":"vulnerability and acceptance and self-love and embodiment and"},{"startTime":37.624,"endTime":40.846,"body":"ease and presence? How can I bring those things to"},{"startTime":40.907,"endTime":44.149,"body":"the experience so that we can make the work that"},{"startTime":44.229,"endTime":47.632,"body":"looks more similar to the work that I create for myself?"},{"startTime":48.512,"endTime":51.995,"body":"When you hire me, I want it to feel like you have an artsy best friend who"},{"startTime":52.055,"endTime":55.498,"body":"is finding you in your most beautiful moments, in your most true moments,"},{"startTime":55.558,"endTime":58.821,"body":"but that if somebody was watching it, they would just think"},{"startTime":63.212,"endTime":66.815,"body":"Hi, I'm Claire, founder of Creativity Found, a"},{"startTime":66.875,"endTime":70.778,"body":"community for creative learners and educators, connecting adults"},{"startTime":70.938,"endTime":74.081,"body":"who want to find a creative outlet with the artists and"},{"startTime":74.121,"endTime":77.644,"body":"crafters who can help them do so with workshops, courses,"},{"startTime":78.144,"endTime":81.427,"body":"online events and kits. For this podcast, I"},{"startTime":81.487,"endTime":85.27,"body":"chat with people who have found or re-found their creativity"},{"startTime":85.51,"endTime":89.272,"body":"as adults. We'll explore their childhood experiences of"},{"startTime":89.312,"endTime":93.034,"body":"the arts, discuss how they came to the artistic practices they"},{"startTime":93.074,"endTime":96.916,"body":"now love, and consider the barriers they may have experienced between"},{"startTime":96.956,"endTime":100.357,"body":"the two. We'll also explore what it is that people"},{"startTime":100.437,"endTime":104.799,"body":"value and gain from their newfound artistic pursuits, and"},{"startTime":104.88,"endTime":108.561,"body":"how their creative lives enrich their practical, necessary,"},{"startTime":109.001,"endTime":112.415,"body":"everyday lives. This time I'm"},{"startTime":112.455,"endTime":116.79,"body":"chatting with Rachel Larson-Weaver about film photography, imperfection"},{"startTime":117.011,"endTime":120.241,"body":"and authenticity. Hi, Rachel. How are you?"},{"startTime":120.761,"endTime":124.863,"body":"I'm great. Thanks, Claire. How are you? I'm very good. Thank you. Please"},{"startTime":124.923,"endTime":128.244,"body":"start by telling the listeners what you like to"},{"startTime":131.826,"endTime":135.008,"body":"The two most obvious ones, I would say,"},{"startTime":135.128,"endTime":138.489,"body":"are writing and film photography. I write"},{"startTime":138.509,"endTime":141.851,"body":"a weekly newsletter that's a huge part of my writing practice, and"},{"startTime":141.871,"endTime":145.352,"body":"I really enjoy it. And I'm a traveling film photographer, so"},{"startTime":145.372,"endTime":148.894,"body":"I go around the U.S. making pictures with families. But"},{"startTime":148.914,"endTime":152.561,"body":"you know, there's always those other like little things, right? Like the"},{"startTime":152.661,"endTime":156.888,"body":"art of making your home and creating meals and gatherings."},{"startTime":157.169,"endTime":160.435,"body":"Those feel like a huge part of who I am, but maybe not"},{"startTime":162.179,"endTime":165.802,"body":"Yeah, no, I completely understand. What was your experience"},{"startTime":165.862,"endTime":168.964,"body":"of creativity like as a child at home and in"},{"startTime":170.525,"endTime":174.207,"body":"Although I always loved art classes and I loved creativity,"},{"startTime":174.668,"endTime":177.77,"body":"I think I identified more as being kind of"},{"startTime":177.81,"endTime":181.412,"body":"an academic kid. I loved school so that felt"},{"startTime":182.133,"endTime":185.655,"body":"more where I was at home and I didn't feel"},{"startTime":186.075,"endTime":189.217,"body":"talented particularly at art because I think maybe when we're"},{"startTime":189.257,"endTime":192.608,"body":"little or actually, I think this probably goes through with adults,"},{"startTime":192.908,"endTime":196.25,"body":"that we have this idea, like, if we can't do figure drawing, we are not"},{"startTime":196.61,"endTime":200.112,"body":"artistic, we are not creative. And so I would have identified more"},{"startTime":200.212,"endTime":204.714,"body":"as an academic school kid. And then kind"},{"startTime":204.754,"endTime":207.995,"body":"of on the other side, I also really"},{"startTime":208.035,"endTime":211.337,"body":"had a desire to be like a helper, somebody who was"},{"startTime":211.477,"endTime":214.978,"body":"doing something kind of for the world. So"},{"startTime":215.359,"endTime":219.623,"body":"in a way, it took a long time to to"},{"startTime":219.703,"endTime":223.244,"body":"label myself more as an artist or a creative, though writing"},{"startTime":223.544,"endTime":226.665,"body":"has been a love of mine for a long time. But again, I don't know if I"},{"startTime":226.725,"endTime":230.267,"body":"saw that as so much of a creative act as more of an academic act."},{"startTime":230.887,"endTime":234.748,"body":"Yeah, there's often that very straight differentiation that"},{"startTime":234.928,"endTime":238.329,"body":"you're either academic or you're arty, and"},{"startTime":238.349,"endTime":241.53,"body":"there are lots of overlaps and interlaying of"},{"startTime":241.59,"endTime":245.852,"body":"those things. So you enjoyed writing. Is that then what you did educationally-wise after"},{"startTime":247.032,"endTime":250.293,"body":"My undergraduate degree was in English and"},{"startTime":250.333,"endTime":253.555,"body":"then I started my MFA in creative writing. And"},{"startTime":254.435,"endTime":257.876,"body":"for eight years, I taught public high school as an English teacher."},{"startTime":257.956,"endTime":262.558,"body":"So writing was definitely, you know, my first area"},{"startTime":265.179,"endTime":268.461,"body":"Yeah. You told me previously that you"},{"startTime":272.828,"endTime":276.93,"body":"So I graduated from my undergraduate degree,"},{"startTime":276.991,"endTime":280.433,"body":"which was in English, and I was pretty young when"},{"startTime":280.473,"endTime":283.995,"body":"I graduated as well because I was a homeschooled kid and I had started"},{"startTime":284.075,"endTime":287.377,"body":"university early and I graduated university early. And so I"},{"startTime":287.417,"endTime":291.239,"body":"had a job lined up in Thailand and I"},{"startTime":291.279,"endTime":294.981,"body":"was getting my travel vaccines. at"},{"startTime":295.001,"endTime":298.885,"body":"the health department when the nurse came in and asked me, when"},{"startTime":299.005,"endTime":302.389,"body":"was your last period? And I sort of knew"},{"startTime":302.449,"endTime":305.752,"body":"what that question meant, though I did not expect that"},{"startTime":305.772,"endTime":309.416,"body":"I was pregnant. So I sort of burst into tears. Anyhow,"},{"startTime":309.897,"endTime":313.38,"body":"so I did not go to Thailand nearly 20 years"},{"startTime":313.44,"endTime":316.884,"body":"ago. And instead, I had my daughter, Asenath, who"},{"startTime":316.904,"endTime":320.507,"body":"is quite creative herself. And she's actually"},{"startTime":320.527,"endTime":324.009,"body":"at the same college where I went, but she's working primarily"},{"startTime":327.651,"endTime":331.314,"body":"Yeah. Oh, brilliant. You have children"},{"startTime":331.434,"endTime":335.396,"body":"of all ages. When your family was growing, how"},{"startTime":335.456,"endTime":339.118,"body":"did your life look with regards to childcare and"},{"startTime":341.88,"endTime":345.262,"body":"I started my MFA in creative writing when I was pregnant with"},{"startTime":345.302,"endTime":348.623,"body":"my oldest. It was a low residency program and I had her in the middle of"},{"startTime":348.663,"endTime":351.825,"body":"the program and then the next time I like brought her"},{"startTime":352.005,"endTime":355.346,"body":"up to Vermont where the school was and my mom came with me and I'd be nursing her"},{"startTime":355.386,"endTime":359.462,"body":"between sessions and that got really hot. really"},{"startTime":359.642,"endTime":363.544,"body":"fast because it was also waiting tables. I"},{"startTime":363.624,"endTime":367.046,"body":"put the writing sort of to the side. My effort was"},{"startTime":367.206,"endTime":370.667,"body":"on trying to figure out how to be a grown-up and pay our bills and"},{"startTime":370.928,"endTime":374.449,"body":"have this child. And even though I had always liked writing,"},{"startTime":375.25,"endTime":378.771,"body":"it's really hard to write in noise and"},{"startTime":378.831,"endTime":381.98,"body":"in chaos. And so One"},{"startTime":382.0,"endTime":385.141,"body":"of the reasons I sort of turned to photography is it felt like it could"},{"startTime":385.201,"endTime":389.022,"body":"do a similar thing. It could allow me to have some"},{"startTime":389.222,"endTime":392.603,"body":"presence and notice what was going on in my day to"},{"startTime":392.643,"endTime":396.224,"body":"tell the story of myself, even if just to myself. But"},{"startTime":396.264,"endTime":399.905,"body":"I could do it more easily in the noise than I could write, especially"},{"startTime":399.945,"endTime":403.326,"body":"because the writing I was always most interested in was creative"},{"startTime":403.366,"endTime":407.309,"body":"nonfiction and personal essay. So there's a lot of overlap between"},{"startTime":407.329,"endTime":410.611,"body":"that and the kind of photography I'm most interested in. And so it"},{"startTime":410.671,"endTime":414.034,"body":"was really a way of tapping into my creative self,"},{"startTime":414.394,"endTime":417.857,"body":"but being able to do it in a way that didn't seem to fight the life I had. I"},{"startTime":417.897,"endTime":421.159,"body":"didn't want to feel resentful of my children or the life"},{"startTime":421.219,"endTime":425.132,"body":"I had created. I wanted to find a way to be able to To"},{"startTime":425.212,"endTime":428.456,"body":"have that sense of satisfaction that comes with creating, with"},{"startTime":428.616,"endTime":431.859,"body":"honoring that part of ourselves that I think longs for more"},{"startTime":432.019,"endTime":435.262,"body":"often, and then to find a way that it worked that"},{"startTime":437.734,"endTime":441.036,"body":"So were you taking photos within the family? So"},{"startTime":441.056,"endTime":444.339,"body":"you're doing it within the life, so you're still able to live the"},{"startTime":444.399,"endTime":447.841,"body":"life and record it and feel creative through that as well?"},{"startTime":448.321,"endTime":451.704,"body":"Absolutely. It was after my third child"},{"startTime":451.744,"endTime":455.326,"body":"was born, Arlo, who's 10 now, that I started"},{"startTime":455.366,"endTime":458.508,"body":"a blog. And really, I bought the camera originally because I"},{"startTime":459.209,"endTime":462.451,"body":"wanted a place to write and I figured, well, If you're going to have a blog, you have"},{"startTime":462.471,"endTime":465.735,"body":"to have pictures. But it was interesting in doing that,"},{"startTime":465.835,"endTime":469.478,"body":"I became more and more interested in the visual side"},{"startTime":469.498,"endTime":472.701,"body":"of it than the writing side of it. And so for a while, there"},{"startTime":472.741,"endTime":476.425,"body":"was a really strong shift that it was photography and"},{"startTime":476.505,"endTime":479.748,"body":"writing was a little bit on the back burner, though I would say"},{"startTime":479.868,"endTime":483.472,"body":"in the last probably since"},{"startTime":483.812,"endTime":487.615,"body":"kind of the pandemic, where I feel like that was another time where then I could"},{"startTime":487.655,"endTime":491.018,"body":"only make pictures in my home and with my kids. So I feel"},{"startTime":491.038,"endTime":494.221,"body":"like that kind of brought back out the desire to"},{"startTime":494.261,"endTime":497.724,"body":"write again, because like, I don't want to be frustrated with"},{"startTime":497.764,"endTime":501.107,"body":"the life in front of me. So it's like, how do I find my creativity in"},{"startTime":501.147,"endTime":504.35,"body":"a time where I can't be interacting with other people in the same way that"},{"startTime":505.372,"endTime":508.534,"body":"So you've done a bit of a up and down and an in and out of"},{"startTime":508.675,"endTime":512.417,"body":"between writing photography and why one's important and"},{"startTime":512.477,"endTime":517.361,"body":"when another one becomes more important. That's really interesting. Within"},{"startTime":517.401,"endTime":521.404,"body":"your writing and within your photography, you're showing perhaps"},{"startTime":521.584,"endTime":525.187,"body":"a different side of life than we might see"},{"startTime":525.247,"endTime":528.529,"body":"maybe in mainstream media. Can you talk"},{"startTime":528.609,"endTime":532.052,"body":"more about what you like to photograph, why you"},{"startTime":534.265,"endTime":538.007,"body":"One of the things I'm really interested in is I feel like this depiction"},{"startTime":538.407,"endTime":541.588,"body":"of motherhood and family that we see in"},{"startTime":541.628,"endTime":544.77,"body":"mainstream media that we see all over Instagram. And"},{"startTime":544.81,"endTime":548.411,"body":"there's this level of like facade and"},{"startTime":548.471,"endTime":551.673,"body":"perfection. And so then we all kind of rebel against it. And"},{"startTime":551.693,"endTime":555.214,"body":"we feel like motherhood isn't ripe ground"},{"startTime":555.294,"endTime":558.556,"body":"for art and for investigation because it's just so"},{"startTime":558.656,"endTime":561.939,"body":"sentimental. But then the other side can be then"},{"startTime":561.979,"endTime":565.581,"body":"if we do see motherhood and family represented"},{"startTime":565.641,"endTime":569.863,"body":"in art, represented in literature, it feels so dark sometimes."},{"startTime":569.943,"endTime":573.164,"body":"And so and so to try to find that middle ground, to"},{"startTime":573.204,"endTime":576.606,"body":"be like, how do we find a way to show the nuance of"},{"startTime":576.666,"endTime":580.148,"body":"this experience, but also that the joy can"},{"startTime":580.228,"endTime":583.429,"body":"be as real as the struggle and the both of those things can"},{"startTime":583.709,"endTime":587.411,"body":"coexist? And how can we show that in a way that feels honest"},{"startTime":587.571,"endTime":590.753,"body":"and interesting and exploratory and like"},{"startTime":591.293,"endTime":594.955,"body":"that you're opening up questions rather than just trying to answer everything"},{"startTime":595.776,"endTime":600.038,"body":"succinctly. That's been the place that I'm really interested"},{"startTime":602.98,"endTime":606.482,"body":"Do you think this goes back to what you mentioned briefly earlier about"},{"startTime":609.387,"endTime":612.749,"body":"I feel like when I started these creative practices, a lot of it was really"},{"startTime":612.829,"endTime":616.171,"body":"just kind of self-centered. I needed it for"},{"startTime":616.231,"endTime":619.492,"body":"myself and to feel connected to my life and to feel like"},{"startTime":619.552,"endTime":623.374,"body":"an interesting whole human when your world can get so consumed."},{"startTime":623.634,"endTime":627.076,"body":"I have five kids. They're from ages 18 to four. You"},{"startTime":627.096,"endTime":630.178,"body":"know what I mean? I've been deep in the thick of this for a long time. And the"},{"startTime":630.258,"endTime":633.579,"body":"creativity originally was, like"},{"startTime":633.619,"endTime":637.062,"body":"I said, pretty self-centered. What has been fascinating to"},{"startTime":637.122,"endTime":640.624,"body":"me, especially as a person who maybe didn't see"},{"startTime":640.644,"endTime":644.427,"body":"the potential for art to be a"},{"startTime":644.487,"endTime":647.649,"body":"place of healing and connection and"},{"startTime":647.669,"endTime":651.152,"body":"a way of helping to connect other people to themselves and"},{"startTime":651.172,"endTime":654.474,"body":"to their days and to the lives that they're building, that when we"},{"startTime":654.514,"endTime":657.937,"body":"share the things that are so deep and so resonant in"},{"startTime":658.097,"endTime":663.2,"body":"us, it can have this impact that's That's"},{"startTime":663.24,"endTime":666.541,"body":"probably more profound than if I had just gone"},{"startTime":666.601,"endTime":669.722,"body":"into a helping profession to martyr myself and to be"},{"startTime":669.742,"endTime":673.022,"body":"like, I'm doing good now. Watch me"},{"startTime":673.082,"endTime":676.683,"body":"do good versus doing the thing that felt pure"},{"startTime":676.723,"endTime":681.644,"body":"and true and deep inside of me. I think it's had an"},{"startTime":682.824,"endTime":686.005,"body":"important effect on the people that I photograph and the people who see those"},{"startTime":686.045,"endTime":689.266,"body":"images and feel more seen and understood in"},{"startTime":691.693,"endTime":694.936,"body":"Yeah. Speaking of the other people, you were"},{"startTime":695.036,"endTime":698.459,"body":"able to leave a day job after having your fourth"},{"startTime":698.519,"endTime":702.322,"body":"child and became a fully fledged photographer. How"},{"startTime":702.382,"endTime":705.564,"body":"did you move from photographing for"},{"startTime":709.688,"endTime":713.211,"body":"One of the things that I think is really important about sharing our"},{"startTime":713.251,"endTime":716.493,"body":"work is that when we start to share it, we kind of don't know what"},{"startTime":716.613,"endTime":719.957,"body":"can happen from there. And I think so often we're afraid of doing"},{"startTime":719.997,"endTime":723.079,"body":"that. And so we limit the possibilities of"},{"startTime":723.12,"endTime":726.162,"body":"what can become. Because I was sharing my work through a"},{"startTime":726.182,"endTime":729.506,"body":"blog, people who were close to me started asking if"},{"startTime":729.566,"endTime":733.149,"body":"I would make pictures with them or if I would photograph their really small"},{"startTime":733.189,"endTime":736.472,"body":"wedding or, you know what I mean? It was things in that"},{"startTime":736.872,"endTime":739.954,"body":"world. And it was interesting to me when I"},{"startTime":740.014,"endTime":743.554,"body":"first started doing it, how difficult it was, because"},{"startTime":743.715,"endTime":746.975,"body":"when I had been photographing my own family, I could kind of wait for"},{"startTime":746.995,"endTime":750.476,"body":"the moment to show up. You know, the light comes through"},{"startTime":750.496,"endTime":753.637,"body":"and you see the kids staring wistfully out"},{"startTime":753.677,"endTime":757.698,"body":"the window and you're like, I'm going to get that picture. It's a very different"},{"startTime":758.098,"endTime":761.219,"body":"situation when you show up with cameras and"},{"startTime":761.239,"endTime":764.66,"body":"people are like, what do we do now? And so that has"},{"startTime":764.7,"endTime":768.161,"body":"been a part of sort of The fun for me is figuring out"},{"startTime":768.341,"endTime":772.082,"body":"how do I create a space of vulnerability and acceptance"},{"startTime":772.162,"endTime":775.703,"body":"and self-love and embodiment and ease and presence? How can"},{"startTime":775.723,"endTime":779.064,"body":"I bring those things to the experience so that we"},{"startTime":779.084,"endTime":782.345,"body":"can make the work that looks more similar to the work that"},{"startTime":782.385,"endTime":785.666,"body":"I create for myself? All of that has made,"},{"startTime":785.686,"endTime":789.187,"body":"I think, for for"},{"startTime":789.247,"endTime":793.833,"body":"beautiful imagery, but also it makes for this experience between"},{"startTime":793.933,"endTime":797.237,"body":"us that between me and the people that I photograph that I feel like"},{"startTime":798.839,"endTime":802.423,"body":"is, you know, maybe even the bigger piece"},{"startTime":803.504,"endTime":807.716,"body":"Yeah. So do you think, I mean, What"},{"startTime":807.756,"endTime":811.781,"body":"do you think the people who hire you are expecting"},{"startTime":812.181,"endTime":815.605,"body":"from a session or what do you think"},{"startTime":815.925,"endTime":819.389,"body":"they want the results to be? Why do they hire you"},{"startTime":822.672,"endTime":825.853,"body":"I think that's a great question in part because I travel a"},{"startTime":826.313,"endTime":829.774,"body":"lot for these sessions and they're not inexpensive and"},{"startTime":829.814,"endTime":833.235,"body":"so people are making a big effort to have me"},{"startTime":833.355,"endTime":836.616,"body":"specifically come to them and oftentimes they're on payment plans for"},{"startTime":836.696,"endTime":839.837,"body":"over a year so that they can make this happen when they have"},{"startTime":839.877,"endTime":843.453,"body":"decided to do these long-form sessions. They're all"},{"startTime":843.553,"endTime":847.314,"body":"in. And I think in part that it can be really lonely"},{"startTime":847.334,"endTime":850.535,"body":"to be feeling like you're doing all of this"},{"startTime":850.615,"endTime":854.036,"body":"work within your home and for your family and it's not being"},{"startTime":854.116,"endTime":857.657,"body":"seen and it's not being honored in the way you want. Then you want somebody"},{"startTime":857.697,"endTime":861.371,"body":"to come in and recognize. what's"},{"startTime":861.411,"endTime":864.853,"body":"happening and to acknowledge that. And I think that"},{"startTime":864.913,"endTime":868.035,"body":"it's like showing people, reminding them"},{"startTime":868.075,"endTime":872.437,"body":"of who they are and what they're doing and giving them something tangible"},{"startTime":872.517,"endTime":875.799,"body":"to look back on when you're having those days that you're like,"},{"startTime":875.919,"endTime":879.101,"body":"what is all of this for? To be like, oh, you know what?"},{"startTime":879.661,"endTime":882.903,"body":"I hired Rachel. She came in and saw the beauty in"},{"startTime":882.943,"endTime":886.986,"body":"this. She saw where the light was. Now"},{"startTime":887.046,"endTime":890.19,"body":"I have this book of photos to remind me of what it"},{"startTime":890.291,"endTime":894.397,"body":"felt like, and I think it becomes a little easier to sink"},{"startTime":894.477,"endTime":898.743,"body":"back into some of the gratitude. Yeah."},{"startTime":901.636,"endTime":905.58,"body":"Oh yeah, I just threw that out like it. So kind"},{"startTime":905.62,"endTime":908.784,"body":"of my signature session are"},{"startTime":908.824,"endTime":911.927,"body":"long form sessions and I go and I stay with people for a"},{"startTime":912.128,"endTime":915.512,"body":"full 24 hours. I spend the night with them, we eat meals"},{"startTime":915.552,"endTime":918.635,"body":"together and they typically kind of plan a"},{"startTime":918.695,"endTime":922.137,"body":"day that is their like perfect day, the way they like"},{"startTime":922.217,"endTime":925.44,"body":"to be with their family. Though it's not always with families. I have done"},{"startTime":925.48,"endTime":928.822,"body":"it with individuals too, that it's like, what,"},{"startTime":929.363,"endTime":932.665,"body":"what is my life and how do I want to show the ins and"},{"startTime":932.725,"endTime":935.928,"body":"outs of it? And it also gives this time for like"},{"startTime":936.008,"endTime":939.471,"body":"fun and creativity because we have a long period of time. We"},{"startTime":939.511,"endTime":942.655,"body":"can set down the cameras and be talking and then get"},{"startTime":942.695,"endTime":945.88,"body":"excited about an idea we have and then we go try to enact it"},{"startTime":945.98,"endTime":949.244,"body":"and it feels like this deeply connective way"},{"startTime":951.567,"endTime":955.051,"body":"It's very different and I can understand how it can create a"},{"startTime":955.251,"endTime":958.974,"body":"different scene because you're not restricted by time as"},{"startTime":959.014,"endTime":962.676,"body":"you are or by location. If you're going into a studio that"},{"startTime":962.756,"endTime":966.279,"body":"makes you a whole different person. You're like in a studio with"},{"startTime":966.339,"endTime":969.561,"body":"someone I don't know with a short time and with an aim"},{"startTime":969.842,"endTime":973.204,"body":"to create something. So much pressure, isn't it?"},{"startTime":973.524,"endTime":977.146,"body":"And I don't feel You know, I think some people get"},{"startTime":977.327,"endTime":980.428,"body":"nervous about the idea of like 24 hours. I don't"},{"startTime":980.448,"endTime":983.83,"body":"want to be on for 24 hours. And it's like, yeah, you can't be."},{"startTime":984.151,"endTime":987.513,"body":"That's impossible. So usually you get a little way into"},{"startTime":987.553,"endTime":990.915,"body":"it and you just are starting to let your, you know, the"},{"startTime":990.955,"endTime":994.237,"body":"walls down. And I think sometimes people are worried because they're"},{"startTime":994.257,"endTime":997.919,"body":"thinking, How will my partner feel about this? How will my teenage"},{"startTime":998.019,"endTime":1001.2,"body":"kid feel about this? How will the toddler handle all of"},{"startTime":1001.26,"endTime":1004.722,"body":"this time? But I actually think, like"},{"startTime":1004.762,"endTime":1007.924,"body":"I said, it takes off the pressure. If the toddler is freaking out"},{"startTime":1007.964,"endTime":1011.526,"body":"and having a moment, then we just wait it out. Like they"},{"startTime":1011.566,"endTime":1014.748,"body":"get a snack and a nap and then we try again where it doesn't feel"},{"startTime":1014.788,"endTime":1018.35,"body":"like we have 45 minutes of good light. Like, let's"},{"startTime":1018.43,"endTime":1021.712,"body":"go. I, um, I really like the idea of"},{"startTime":1022.092,"endTime":1025.374,"body":"operating with a spaciousness around time. I always get"},{"startTime":1025.394,"endTime":1028.976,"body":"to airports so early because I don't like to feel rushed. I"},{"startTime":1029.056,"endTime":1032.298,"body":"never have pulled an all-nighter in all of my academic career. I"},{"startTime":1032.358,"endTime":1035.76,"body":"always wanted to do things kind of slowly and deliberately and feel like"},{"startTime":1035.88,"endTime":1039.262,"body":"that I got rid of the anxiety that can come when time"},{"startTime":1039.322,"endTime":1042.635,"body":"is bearing down on you. Over time,"},{"startTime":1043.176,"endTime":1046.278,"body":"this idea developed and I realized because it was"},{"startTime":1046.338,"endTime":1050.18,"body":"how I was creating with my friends or with my family, not"},{"startTime":1050.2,"endTime":1053.602,"body":"just my immediate family, but like I'm one of six kids and"},{"startTime":1053.622,"endTime":1057.885,"body":"so lots of my work is of my sisters and my nieces and nephews. That's"},{"startTime":1057.925,"endTime":1061.387,"body":"how I was getting the best work with all of these people. And"},{"startTime":1061.407,"endTime":1064.69,"body":"I wanted to find a way to offer it so that I could create"},{"startTime":1071.738,"endTime":1075.58,"body":"Also, it feels sometimes,"},{"startTime":1075.64,"endTime":1078.942,"body":"though, like a scam. And here's why."},{"startTime":1079.742,"endTime":1082.944,"body":"I go to people's houses and they pay me good money"},{"startTime":1082.984,"endTime":1086.546,"body":"to do it. And then they, like, make me their best foods."},{"startTime":1086.606,"endTime":1090.488,"body":"They show me their most beautiful places. I've had these experiences that"},{"startTime":1090.508,"endTime":1093.709,"body":"I'm like, how did I figure this out? I'm a"},{"startTime":1093.91,"endTime":1097.213,"body":"genius. This is so enriching. And"},{"startTime":1097.794,"endTime":1101.358,"body":"then I come back from having seen how they're interacting"},{"startTime":1101.478,"endTime":1105.242,"body":"with their kids, with themselves, with the"},{"startTime":1105.302,"endTime":1108.686,"body":"day, with the light. And I feel like I've gotten really good at pulling the"},{"startTime":1108.726,"endTime":1112.61,"body":"best bits and being like, oh, I'm taking that back home. I'm"},{"startTime":1116.025,"endTime":1119.346,"body":"Yeah. You shoot with film rather than"},{"startTime":1119.546,"endTime":1122.927,"body":"digitally. Have you specifically chosen that method"},{"startTime":1122.967,"endTime":1126.769,"body":"for a reason? And how does that actually affect the"},{"startTime":1129.93,"endTime":1133.131,"body":"When I first started with photography, when I started my blog and"},{"startTime":1133.171,"endTime":1136.772,"body":"when I was first starting to get hired, it was digital. And"},{"startTime":1136.812,"endTime":1140.273,"body":"then, I don't know, though, it's been a lot of years that I've converted"},{"startTime":1140.413,"endTime":1144.263,"body":"over to film. I realized, well,"},{"startTime":1144.303,"endTime":1147.605,"body":"first off, I hate editing photos. And"},{"startTime":1147.645,"endTime":1151.068,"body":"when you're shooting digitally, you have this huge amount"},{"startTime":1151.128,"endTime":1154.61,"body":"of material and you have to go through this process of"},{"startTime":1154.65,"endTime":1158.393,"body":"like culling and I don't know, it's just like you're making decisions"},{"startTime":1158.413,"endTime":1162.435,"body":"all the time. And I sort of hate making decisions. Maybe"},{"startTime":1162.455,"endTime":1165.678,"body":"that's because I'm a Libra. I don't know. So I like shooting with"},{"startTime":1165.738,"endTime":1169.545,"body":"film because I have so many fewer options"},{"startTime":1169.605,"endTime":1173.355,"body":"and I also kind of think I can't edit out imperfections in"},{"startTime":1173.375,"endTime":1177.396,"body":"the same way with digital. your inclination"},{"startTime":1177.436,"endTime":1181.038,"body":"is to be like, which one is the very best, the most flattering,"},{"startTime":1181.078,"endTime":1185.2,"body":"the least. But I feel like in film, you you"},{"startTime":1185.24,"endTime":1189.162,"body":"take that possibility away from yourself and that there's something that reveals itself"},{"startTime":1189.742,"endTime":1193.184,"body":"that becomes more interesting to me than whatever"},{"startTime":1193.264,"endTime":1196.386,"body":"perfect is or some concept of perfect. So"},{"startTime":1196.406,"endTime":1199.887,"body":"that's part of it. I don't like editing. And I think film has"},{"startTime":1199.987,"endTime":1203.369,"body":"like a certain sensibility to it that it already"},{"startTime":1203.429,"endTime":1206.611,"body":"has so much life to it that you don't have to try"},{"startTime":1206.631,"endTime":1210.134,"body":"to edit it in the same way you do with digital images to kind of give them"},{"startTime":1210.234,"endTime":1213.417,"body":"something. I mean, I still edit my film, but it's just a"},{"startTime":1213.537,"endTime":1216.719,"body":"much, you know, kind of fixing horizons or it's not to"},{"startTime":1216.759,"endTime":1219.822,"body":"the same level. And it also allows me to"},{"startTime":1219.862,"endTime":1222.985,"body":"be a lot more present, though I"},{"startTime":1223.025,"endTime":1226.327,"body":"would argue there are digital photographers that they feel like they're more present because they're"},{"startTime":1226.347,"endTime":1229.53,"body":"just clicking everything. And then it's when they're culling that they"},{"startTime":1229.57,"endTime":1233.187,"body":"feel like they have to get that analytical mind going. For"},{"startTime":1233.247,"endTime":1237.168,"body":"me, I like being able to put my camera down and"},{"startTime":1237.208,"endTime":1240.549,"body":"to be talking and then to just pull it up and snap when"},{"startTime":1240.569,"endTime":1243.77,"body":"the moment comes versus having it glued to my eye. I"},{"startTime":1243.81,"endTime":1247.17,"body":"want it to feel like we're hanging out. When you hire"},{"startTime":1247.19,"endTime":1250.271,"body":"me, I want it to feel like you have an artsy best friend who is"},{"startTime":1250.351,"endTime":1253.832,"body":"finding you in your most beautiful moments, in your most true moments, but"},{"startTime":1253.872,"endTime":1257.413,"body":"that if somebody was watching it, they would just think it"},{"startTime":1257.453,"endTime":1260.774,"body":"was two friends hanging out and that this was not a photo session. That's sort"},{"startTime":1260.794,"endTime":1264.075,"body":"of my goal, because I think also it makes for"},{"startTime":1265.737,"endTime":1269.059,"body":"Yeah. I like the imperfect thing because it just fits with"},{"startTime":1269.079,"endTime":1272.482,"body":"the whole ethos that we've been talking about. So we've been talking"},{"startTime":1272.502,"endTime":1276.125,"body":"a lot now about photography but we started"},{"startTime":1280.609,"endTime":1283.892,"body":"They all get mixed and mingled and you know. Yeah. So"},{"startTime":1287.495,"endTime":1290.897,"body":"As I said, I feel like kind of during the pandemic, I started to put more"},{"startTime":1291.017,"endTime":1294.36,"body":"of an effort into writing. And so a couple of years ago,"},{"startTime":1294.48,"endTime":1297.902,"body":"I launched a weekly newsletter, and I wasn't quite sure at"},{"startTime":1297.922,"endTime":1301.244,"body":"the time if people even read newsletters. I"},{"startTime":1301.284,"endTime":1304.406,"body":"wasn't reading any of them. I mostly felt like it was"},{"startTime":1304.426,"endTime":1308.028,"body":"just junk mail. So it was kind of the coaxing of"},{"startTime":1308.069,"endTime":1312.671,"body":"a friend of mine that I started it. And it has been so"},{"startTime":1312.751,"endTime":1315.913,"body":"huge for my creative life and also for my"},{"startTime":1315.973,"endTime":1319.114,"body":"business and marketing. The newsletter has done really well. It"},{"startTime":1319.154,"endTime":1323.036,"body":"has like a fantastic open rate. When I'm speaking at conferences, sometimes"},{"startTime":1323.116,"endTime":1326.697,"body":"people come up to me to say like, I love your newsletter. And"},{"startTime":1327.017,"endTime":1330.298,"body":"because it is primarily my writing practice where,"},{"startTime":1330.579,"endTime":1333.702,"body":"yeah, I do sell things at the end. I try to tell you,"},{"startTime":1333.742,"endTime":1337.488,"body":"you know, what classes I'm offering, what mentorship opportunities,"},{"startTime":1337.528,"endTime":1340.853,"body":"where I'm doing sessions, all of those things come in every week."},{"startTime":1341.034,"endTime":1345.421,"body":"But because I'm really trying to make sure that there's this value beforehand,"},{"startTime":1345.861,"endTime":1349.465,"body":"I think people when I show up to take their pictures, they"},{"startTime":1349.545,"endTime":1353.569,"body":"already know me. So they're not as afraid"},{"startTime":1353.769,"endTime":1357.212,"body":"of letting their guards down because they have a pretty strong"},{"startTime":1357.292,"endTime":1360.715,"body":"sense of who I am. And so I think that"},{"startTime":1360.815,"endTime":1364.179,"body":"writing and being opened every Monday evening"},{"startTime":1364.259,"endTime":1367.442,"body":"on their computers, that they've already kind of invited me into their homes and"},{"startTime":1367.502,"endTime":1370.965,"body":"into their lives. And so it has been huge and"},{"startTime":1371.485,"endTime":1375.569,"body":"sort of because of the success of it. Every"},{"startTime":1375.589,"endTime":1379.272,"body":"year I now do a one-month writing workshop where people come"},{"startTime":1379.292,"endTime":1382.734,"body":"together and work on personal essays. And it's"},{"startTime":1382.794,"endTime":1386.017,"body":"not specifically for newsletter writing, but I think that there's a lot"},{"startTime":1386.057,"endTime":1389.44,"body":"of creative people that they understand the importance of writing in"},{"startTime":1389.46,"endTime":1392.842,"body":"their marketing and all of these other places, but they don't want it to feel like"},{"startTime":1392.942,"endTime":1396.285,"body":"learning to write copy, learning to write captions. How"},{"startTime":1396.345,"endTime":1400.833,"body":"can we make art that we use in"},{"startTime":1400.893,"endTime":1404.295,"body":"creative ways, rather than feeling like we're just creating"},{"startTime":1404.416,"endTime":1407.898,"body":"content all the time. And so that's sort of the"},{"startTime":1408.158,"endTime":1411.68,"body":"foundation of that. And so it becomes fun. It's in my like slower"},{"startTime":1411.72,"endTime":1415.303,"body":"season for photography. And it goes back to, as I said, I taught"},{"startTime":1415.383,"endTime":1418.485,"body":"English for eight years. I, you know, it's a"},{"startTime":1421.507,"endTime":1425.049,"body":"Yeah. And you're getting"},{"startTime":1425.089,"endTime":1428.632,"body":"together with other people and sharing that with other people and helping"},{"startTime":1431.145,"endTime":1434.418,"body":"Yeah, and it's I mean, it's just a beautiful thing and"},{"startTime":1434.438,"endTime":1438.25,"body":"the things that people share and it's a. One"},{"startTime":1438.27,"endTime":1441.633,"body":"of the things I really like about writing is it feels so"},{"startTime":1441.793,"endTime":1445.036,"body":"accessible. It doesn't take a lot of equipment. Nobody's going to ask"},{"startTime":1445.056,"endTime":1448.539,"body":"you like, well, what did you write that on? And like, you know, nobody cares."},{"startTime":1448.759,"endTime":1452.162,"body":"And it can fit into the corners of your life, which"},{"startTime":1452.222,"endTime":1455.585,"body":"is especially, I think, a useful practice for people with"},{"startTime":1455.625,"endTime":1458.827,"body":"full-time jobs, people who are doing lots of care for"},{"startTime":1458.867,"endTime":1462.19,"body":"their older parents or their younger children. You know, You"},{"startTime":1462.21,"endTime":1465.613,"body":"don't have to take out a ton of supplies and have room in your house to"},{"startTime":1465.673,"endTime":1469.277,"body":"incorporate this practice into your life. So I love that aspect"},{"startTime":1469.337,"endTime":1472.94,"body":"about it. I love that it can pull us into noticing"},{"startTime":1472.96,"endTime":1476.223,"body":"and to paying attention. And I think that"},{"startTime":1476.263,"endTime":1480.046,"body":"that can have just such a profound effect on our well-being. And"},{"startTime":1480.126,"endTime":1483.589,"body":"so it's a great gateway drug to creative"},{"startTime":1485.382,"endTime":1488.763,"body":"Yeah, and it is used as such often, isn't it,"},{"startTime":1488.783,"endTime":1492.525,"body":"to like a bit of a warm-up or to get things moving"},{"startTime":1492.565,"endTime":1496.286,"body":"in the brain and loosen up a bit. Yeah, definitely."},{"startTime":1496.346,"endTime":1499.487,"body":"So what are your thoughts now on"},{"startTime":1499.547,"endTime":1502.708,"body":"what you might like to be doing in the future, in"},{"startTime":1504.829,"endTime":1508.41,"body":"Ooh, this is when I feel flaky because those can change pretty"},{"startTime":1508.63,"endTime":1511.991,"body":"often. I feel like maybe when you asked a couple months ago,"},{"startTime":1512.592,"endTime":1516.055,"body":"the answers may have changed. There are goals"},{"startTime":1516.115,"endTime":1519.32,"body":"that my ego kind of likes, like, oh, I would like to have a"},{"startTime":1519.4,"endTime":1523.486,"body":"published book or I would like to have a mana, a book of my my"},{"startTime":1523.586,"endTime":1528.138,"body":"images out there. I you know, both of those things feel. exciting"},{"startTime":1528.158,"endTime":1532.181,"body":"and possible. One of the things I think a lot of family photographers"},{"startTime":1532.281,"endTime":1535.364,"body":"or wedding photographers, they can kind of worry about aging out of the"},{"startTime":1535.424,"endTime":1538.927,"body":"careers. It feels like you kind of photograph people in your own"},{"startTime":1539.468,"endTime":1543.011,"body":"peer group. And I sort of reject that notion,"},{"startTime":1543.151,"endTime":1546.855,"body":"but also it makes me excited, like, I'm excited about"},{"startTime":1547.195,"endTime":1550.899,"body":"photographing women beyond early motherhood. I'm"},{"startTime":1550.939,"endTime":1554.163,"body":"excited about making images of women when they"},{"startTime":1554.203,"endTime":1557.767,"body":"start to feel sort of invisible and like they're stopping noticed."},{"startTime":1558.308,"endTime":1561.371,"body":"One of the foundational pieces to my work is"},{"startTime":1562.152,"endTime":1565.314,"body":"I work really hard on loving and accepting myself so that"},{"startTime":1565.334,"endTime":1568.816,"body":"when I can come into sessions, people are seeing it modeled."},{"startTime":1568.876,"endTime":1572.438,"body":"It feels like a possibility to be like, oh, if she loves herself"},{"startTime":1572.498,"endTime":1575.9,"body":"and her wildly imperfect body, maybe I'm allowed"},{"startTime":1575.94,"endTime":1579.303,"body":"to, too. Like, let's give this a shot. And so I'm excited to"},{"startTime":1579.363,"endTime":1582.865,"body":"how that could look for future work, too. That's"},{"startTime":1588.876,"endTime":1592.597,"body":"I completely understand. Personally, I've had photos,"},{"startTime":1592.677,"endTime":1596.399,"body":"studio shoots done when the children were little. I've"},{"startTime":1596.419,"endTime":1600.16,"body":"had a few headshots done for worky things and"},{"startTime":1600.2,"endTime":1603.961,"body":"then I wouldn't think that I'm"},{"startTime":1604.682,"endTime":1608.103,"body":"52 and I wouldn't think to hire a photographer unless there"},{"startTime":1608.123,"endTime":1611.784,"body":"was a reason, if you know what I mean, rather than"},{"startTime":1614.363,"endTime":1617.808,"body":"And I think that's really interesting. I mean, I remember being young"},{"startTime":1617.828,"endTime":1621.353,"body":"and hearing my mom, I mean, she still talks about it, my"},{"startTime":1621.393,"endTime":1624.817,"body":"mom talking about like, oh, you kind of become invisible. And I don't like"},{"startTime":1624.877,"endTime":1628.271,"body":"that idea at all. I want. I want the"},{"startTime":1628.331,"endTime":1631.853,"body":"Crones to have their place. And I'm very"},{"startTime":1631.893,"endTime":1635.776,"body":"excited about entering that phase of my life. And I think that"},{"startTime":1637.858,"endTime":1640.98,"body":"when we feel that there is invisibility, one of our"},{"startTime":1641.04,"endTime":1644.603,"body":"jobs as artists and creators is to shine"},{"startTime":1644.663,"endTime":1647.965,"body":"a light on those things. If we think that they're important, How"},{"startTime":1648.646,"endTime":1652.287,"body":"do we create the work we wish existed? It's"},{"startTime":1652.327,"endTime":1656.409,"body":"part of why I really leaned into self-portraits. I'm a larger-bodied"},{"startTime":1656.449,"endTime":1659.77,"body":"woman and I realized that women in larger bodies weren't hiring me"},{"startTime":1659.79,"endTime":1663.151,"body":"to take their pictures. So I was like, well, I guess I'm gonna have to go first. I'm"},{"startTime":1663.171,"endTime":1666.333,"body":"gonna have to show that like fat women deserve to be in"},{"startTime":1666.413,"endTime":1670.131,"body":"the picture. I want that to continue in in"},{"startTime":1670.231,"endTime":1673.953,"body":"other phases of life and in other spheres and places to say, no,"},{"startTime":1674.433,"endTime":1678.035,"body":"there's not this one moment where we were all our most beautiful"},{"startTime":1678.095,"endTime":1682.177,"body":"at 17 years old and everything else is this like shallow or"},{"startTime":1682.237,"endTime":1685.459,"body":"this like, yeah, just let's try to get back there and"},{"startTime":1687.9,"endTime":1691.061,"body":"Screw that. Yeah, that's true, isn't it? It's always the"},{"startTime":1691.122,"endTime":1694.382,"body":"looking back. Oh, I used to be like this. I"},{"startTime":1695.643,"endTime":1699.123,"body":"And we look back at those pictures and we're like, I wish I had appreciated how beautiful"},{"startTime":1699.203,"endTime":1702.384,"body":"I was then. That's one thing. I know that there's a lot of photographers that"},{"startTime":1702.404,"endTime":1705.705,"body":"they talk about the heirloom quality or the legacy quality or"},{"startTime":1705.805,"endTime":1709.125,"body":"your kids are going to be so grateful to have these pictures of you in the future."},{"startTime":1709.465,"endTime":1712.806,"body":"I think that's all beautiful. But it isn't my motivation. My"},{"startTime":1712.846,"endTime":1716.667,"body":"motivation is for you to see you right now and"},{"startTime":1716.947,"endTime":1720.448,"body":"to love her and to accept her and for this moment to"},{"startTime":1720.468,"endTime":1723.949,"body":"be impacted by having allowed yourself to"},{"startTime":1723.989,"endTime":1727.731,"body":"be seen. That feels like the heart of the work. Yeah."},{"startTime":1729.032,"endTime":1732.313,"body":"That's perfect. That's"},{"startTime":1732.413,"endTime":1735.935,"body":"really lovely. Thanks"},{"startTime":1735.955,"endTime":1739.617,"body":"so much, Rachel. I've really, really enjoyed this chat. How"},{"startTime":1741.598,"endTime":1746.54,"body":"Like most of us, I can be found on Instagram. It's rachel.larsen.weaver."},{"startTime":1747.261,"endTime":1750.863,"body":"And through there, in particular, my weekly"},{"startTime":1750.923,"endTime":1754.118,"body":"newsletter, here and now. You can find that"},{"startTime":1754.178,"endTime":1757.74,"body":"on my website, which is RachelLarsonWeaver.com or Instagram."},{"startTime":1757.94,"endTime":1761.182,"body":"But my newsletter is my favorite way to communicate. So"},{"startTime":1761.322,"endTime":1764.964,"body":"you'll be in the loop for all of the writing, photography, self-love,"},{"startTime":1775.2,"endTime":1778.543,"body":"Thanks so much for listening to Creativity Found. I hope you enjoyed"},{"startTime":1778.563,"endTime":1782.327,"body":"this episode and gained some value from it. If you did, perhaps"},{"startTime":1782.347,"endTime":1786.491,"body":"you'd like to contribute a small monetary sign of appreciation, either"},{"startTime":1786.551,"endTime":1790.075,"body":"by becoming a regular supporter from as little as $3 per"},{"startTime":1790.115,"endTime":1793.397,"body":"month using the link in the show notes, or if you're"},{"startTime":1793.437,"endTime":1796.699,"body":"listening on a value-for-value enabled app such"},{"startTime":1796.759,"endTime":1800.181,"body":"as Fountain, Truefans or Podverse, feel free to"},{"startTime":1800.221,"endTime":1803.902,"body":"send a few sats my way. I also occasionally promote"},{"startTime":1803.942,"endTime":1807.064,"body":"products that I personally use, so please use"},{"startTime":1807.104,"endTime":1810.525,"body":"the affiliate link where relevant if you are buying from those fine"},{"startTime":1810.606,"endTime":1813.647,"body":"companies. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it."}]}