{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":7.36,"endTime":12.6,"body":"You know, high school was"},{"startTime":7.36,"endTime":12.6,"body":"horrible for me. That is my memory"},{"startTime":12.6,"endTime":20.4,"body":"of high school. Visceral pain."},{"startTime":12.6,"endTime":20.4,"body":"And then I get to have this art expression"},{"startTime":20.4,"endTime":24.72,"body":"which came from another"},{"startTime":20.4,"endTime":24.72,"body":"adversity. It's amazing how adversity"},{"startTime":24.72,"endTime":29.56,"body":"can be the key to revelation,"},{"startTime":24.72,"endTime":29.56,"body":"self discovery and creativity and"},{"startTime":29.56,"endTime":35.26,"body":"innovation. And that would"},{"startTime":29.56,"endTime":35.26,"body":"happen for me. And out of desperation,"},{"startTime":35.26,"endTime":40.7,"body":"I thought, I'm gonna paint."},{"startTime":35.26,"endTime":40.7,"body":"There's this whole new expression"},{"startTime":40.7,"endTime":44.86,"body":"of me. It's like I've stepped"},{"startTime":40.7,"endTime":44.86,"body":"out of a cage I didn't know that"},{"startTime":44.86,"endTime":48.54,"body":"I was in, and I'm seeing life"},{"startTime":44.86,"endTime":48.54,"body":"for the first time."},{"startTime":50.14,"endTime":54.74,"body":"Hi, I'm Claire. For this"},{"startTime":50.14,"endTime":54.74,"body":"podcast, I chat with people who have"},{"startTime":54.74,"endTime":59.53,"body":"found or refound their"},{"startTime":54.74,"endTime":59.53,"body":"creativity as adults. We'll explore"},{"startTime":59.53,"endTime":63.37,"body":"their childhood experiences of"},{"startTime":59.53,"endTime":63.37,"body":"the arts, discuss how they came to"},{"startTime":63.37,"endTime":67.33,"body":"the artistic practices they"},{"startTime":63.37,"endTime":67.33,"body":"now love, and consider the barriers"},{"startTime":67.33,"endTime":70.93,"body":"they may have experienced"},{"startTime":67.33,"endTime":70.93,"body":"between the two. We'll also explore"},{"startTime":71.01,"endTime":75.25,"body":"what it is that people value"},{"startTime":71.01,"endTime":75.25,"body":"and gain from their newfound artistic"},{"startTime":75.25,"endTime":79.41,"body":"pursuits and how their"},{"startTime":75.25,"endTime":79.41,"body":"creative lives enrich their practical,"},{"startTime":79.65,"endTime":86.25,"body":"necessary, everyday lives. For"},{"startTime":79.65,"endTime":86.25,"body":"this episode, I'm speaking with Leanne"},{"startTime":86.25,"endTime":90.3,"body":"Tibiatowski, who. Who, despite"},{"startTime":86.25,"endTime":90.3,"body":"living close to the ocean in San"},{"startTime":90.3,"endTime":93.86,"body":"Diego for a long time,"},{"startTime":90.3,"endTime":93.86,"body":"couldn't bring herself to get into"},{"startTime":93.86,"endTime":98.02,"body":"the water, something she had"},{"startTime":93.86,"endTime":98.02,"body":"loved doing as a child. When she"},{"startTime":98.02,"endTime":102.14,"body":"joined a surf therapy group,"},{"startTime":98.02,"endTime":102.14,"body":"she stumbled across a healing activity"},{"startTime":102.14,"endTime":105.66,"body":"and supportive community. But"},{"startTime":102.14,"endTime":105.66,"body":"when the ocean was closed during"},{"startTime":105.66,"endTime":110.14,"body":"the COVID lockdowns, she had"},{"startTime":105.66,"endTime":110.14,"body":"to find a new way to stay calm. And"},{"startTime":110.14,"endTime":114.96,"body":"a surprising form of artistic"},{"startTime":110.14,"endTime":114.96,"body":"expression started to literally flow"},{"startTime":114.96,"endTime":118.12,"body":"out of her. Hi, Leanne."},{"startTime":118.36,"endTime":119.96,"body":"Hi, Claire. How you doing today?"},{"startTime":120.36,"endTime":125.96,"body":"I'm good, thank you. Your new"},{"startTime":120.36,"endTime":125.96,"body":"creative outlet is quite original."},{"startTime":126.28,"endTime":128.04,"body":"How do you express yourself?"},{"startTime":129.08,"endTime":136.04,"body":"I find great delight in"},{"startTime":129.08,"endTime":136.04,"body":"painting surfboards. Upcycled boards"},{"startTime":136.12,"endTime":143.59,"body":"primarily. So I find boards in"},{"startTime":136.12,"endTime":143.59,"body":"my community and let these designs"},{"startTime":143.59,"endTime":144.19,"body":"flow through."},{"startTime":145.55,"endTime":149.95,"body":"Brilliant. The flow, I know,"},{"startTime":145.55,"endTime":149.95,"body":"is a very important part of your"},{"startTime":149.95,"endTime":154.43,"body":"work now. But let's go back to"},{"startTime":149.95,"endTime":154.43,"body":"childhood. Did you have a creative"},{"startTime":154.43,"endTime":157.07,"body":"childhood at home or at school?"},{"startTime":158.51,"endTime":164.03,"body":"Yes, I would say for sure in"},{"startTime":158.51,"endTime":164.03,"body":"different ways other than art. My"},{"startTime":164.03,"endTime":170.07,"body":"mother was very and is very"},{"startTime":164.03,"endTime":170.07,"body":"aligned with music, so I grew up"},{"startTime":170.07,"endTime":175.53,"body":"playing the piano, singing in"},{"startTime":170.07,"endTime":175.53,"body":"choirs, and, you know, for 12 years"},{"startTime":175.93,"endTime":182.57,"body":"studied piano. My dad, on the"},{"startTime":175.93,"endTime":182.57,"body":"other hand, was very into nature,"},{"startTime":182.73,"endTime":186.89,"body":"so we were spending a lot of"},{"startTime":182.73,"endTime":186.89,"body":"time in nature, which is ultimately"},{"startTime":187.69,"endTime":191.69,"body":"will become the inspiration"},{"startTime":187.69,"endTime":191.69,"body":"for the art that flows through me."},{"startTime":192.33,"endTime":196.77,"body":"My grandfather was very"},{"startTime":192.33,"endTime":196.77,"body":"connected to the earth and crystals"},{"startTime":196.77,"endTime":202.75,"body":"and gems and was a jewelry"},{"startTime":196.77,"endTime":202.75,"body":"maker on the side. And so I did have"},{"startTime":202.75,"endTime":206.35,"body":"this around me in my"},{"startTime":202.75,"endTime":206.35,"body":"childhood, and I feel blessed. Music,"},{"startTime":206.99,"endTime":212.03,"body":"nature, and transforming"},{"startTime":206.99,"endTime":212.03,"body":"things of nature into. Into art,"},{"startTime":212.27,"endTime":213.23,"body":"wearable art."},{"startTime":214.43,"endTime":218.75,"body":"And did you have a means to do"},{"startTime":214.43,"endTime":218.75,"body":"that. And did you get to continue"},{"startTime":218.91,"endTime":220.99,"body":"that at school or at college?"},{"startTime":222.27,"endTime":228.01,"body":"When I started college, I"},{"startTime":222.27,"endTime":228.01,"body":"wanted to be an art major. I felt"},{"startTime":228.01,"endTime":234.09,"body":"it, I wanted it. I've always"},{"startTime":228.01,"endTime":234.09,"body":"had a very strong creative pulse"},{"startTime":234.25,"endTime":238.65,"body":"running through me. So I"},{"startTime":234.25,"endTime":238.65,"body":"started taking art classes. And,"},{"startTime":239.37,"endTime":244.17,"body":"you know, I had a piece that"},{"startTime":239.37,"endTime":244.17,"body":"was in a jewelry showing at my community"},{"startTime":244.33,"endTime":249.97,"body":"college. Very abstract, very"},{"startTime":244.33,"endTime":249.97,"body":"linear, very black and white, pen"},{"startTime":249.97,"endTime":255.89,"body":"and ink. Yet ultimately, I"},{"startTime":249.97,"endTime":255.89,"body":"would not choose to continue with"},{"startTime":255.89,"endTime":261.01,"body":"an art major because at that"},{"startTime":255.89,"endTime":261.01,"body":"time in my life, the critiques hurt,"},{"startTime":262.13,"endTime":268.13,"body":"physically hurt. And I thought"},{"startTime":262.13,"endTime":268.13,"body":"to myself, I can't imagine producing"},{"startTime":268.93,"endTime":275.81,"body":"this way from my heart, to"},{"startTime":268.93,"endTime":275.81,"body":"have it just be broken down, cut"},{"startTime":275.81,"endTime":279.33,"body":"down. And so I went a"},{"startTime":275.81,"endTime":279.33,"body":"different direction completely."},{"startTime":280.43,"endTime":281.71,"body":"What was that direction?"},{"startTime":282.51,"endTime":287.79,"body":"It went all over the place."},{"startTime":282.51,"endTime":287.79,"body":"Because I became a single mom right"},{"startTime":287.79,"endTime":291.87,"body":"after I graduated from"},{"startTime":287.79,"endTime":291.87,"body":"college. I ultimately got a communications"},{"startTime":291.95,"endTime":296.19,"body":"degree, fascinated with the"},{"startTime":291.95,"endTime":296.19,"body":"study of how communication works"},{"startTime":296.19,"endTime":302.59,"body":"between humans and groups, and"},{"startTime":296.19,"endTime":302.59,"body":"really find that art in and of itself,"},{"startTime":302.83,"endTime":308.36,"body":"and ultimately would apply"},{"startTime":302.83,"endTime":308.36,"body":"that love of communication into my"},{"startTime":308.36,"endTime":316.64,"body":"professional life as a writer"},{"startTime":308.36,"endTime":316.64,"body":"and producer of events. So I had"},{"startTime":316.64,"endTime":318.36,"body":"it from a different angle. Always."},{"startTime":320.44,"endTime":325.64,"body":"Was the work that you were"},{"startTime":320.44,"endTime":325.64,"body":"doing, was it led by necessity perhaps,"},{"startTime":325.72,"endTime":330.88,"body":"rather than desire, or a bit"},{"startTime":325.72,"endTime":330.88,"body":"of both? Were you able to do things"},{"startTime":330.88,"endTime":334.24,"body":"that you wanted to do, or were"},{"startTime":330.88,"endTime":334.24,"body":"you just, I've. I've got to work."},{"startTime":335.44,"endTime":343.56,"body":"I 100% had to work. I was a"},{"startTime":335.44,"endTime":343.56,"body":"single income, single mom. And so"},{"startTime":343.56,"endTime":351.04,"body":"I had to hustle to provide."},{"startTime":343.56,"endTime":351.04,"body":"And I worked very hard to identify,"},{"startTime":351.52,"endTime":357.24,"body":"identify places that I could"},{"startTime":351.52,"endTime":357.24,"body":"find my employment that I still felt"},{"startTime":357.24,"endTime":362.73,"body":"passion for. And the passion"},{"startTime":357.24,"endTime":362.73,"body":"would be in creating experiences"},{"startTime":362.73,"endTime":367.93,"body":"for people and using"},{"startTime":362.73,"endTime":367.93,"body":"creativity. But I had to build my"},{"startTime":367.93,"endTime":373.57,"body":"strength. I had to present"},{"startTime":367.93,"endTime":373.57,"body":"myself as the linear, the organizer,"},{"startTime":373.65,"endTime":377.01,"body":"the project manager, the"},{"startTime":373.65,"endTime":377.01,"body":"producer. All of those skills that"},{"startTime":377.01,"endTime":380.77,"body":"might not be the frontline"},{"startTime":377.01,"endTime":380.77,"body":"skills for a creative and a visionary."},{"startTime":381.65,"endTime":385.89,"body":"Those became what I became"},{"startTime":381.65,"endTime":385.89,"body":"very good at, which allowed me to"},{"startTime":385.89,"endTime":390.45,"body":"eke in my creativity."},{"startTime":385.89,"endTime":390.45,"body":"Ultimately, I would bust through"},{"startTime":390.45,"endTime":395.45,"body":"and be able to create a lot as"},{"startTime":390.45,"endTime":395.45,"body":"I. As I moved along in my career"},{"startTime":395.53,"endTime":399.61,"body":"from, you know, working in a"},{"startTime":395.53,"endTime":399.61,"body":"magazine. I was not hired to be on"},{"startTime":399.61,"endTime":403.65,"body":"the editorial team, but I"},{"startTime":399.61,"endTime":403.65,"body":"presented my ideas and I offered"},{"startTime":403.65,"endTime":407.41,"body":"to copy proof, and then I"},{"startTime":403.65,"endTime":407.41,"body":"would get to write. I worked in the"},{"startTime":407.41,"endTime":412.81,"body":"nonprofit sector as a program"},{"startTime":407.41,"endTime":412.81,"body":"director for a bereavement program"},{"startTime":412.81,"endTime":417.59,"body":"that helped families navigate"},{"startTime":412.81,"endTime":417.59,"body":"the loss of a child and young women"},{"startTime":418.39,"endTime":422.31,"body":"in leadership development. As"},{"startTime":418.39,"endTime":422.31,"body":"a program director, I was doing a"},{"startTime":422.31,"endTime":426.19,"body":"lot of the producing and the"},{"startTime":422.31,"endTime":426.19,"body":"administrative and the connecting"},{"startTime":426.19,"endTime":431.03,"body":"and the. The details. Yet I"},{"startTime":426.19,"endTime":431.03,"body":"would get to create curriculum and"},{"startTime":431.43,"endTime":437.83,"body":"create and design event"},{"startTime":431.43,"endTime":437.83,"body":"experiences and branding pieces."},{"startTime":438.71,"endTime":443.03,"body":"So I would be expressing"},{"startTime":438.71,"endTime":443.03,"body":"myself that way, which helped me"},{"startTime":443.03,"endTime":451.82,"body":"Survive the need to be an"},{"startTime":443.03,"endTime":451.82,"body":"earner in a way that almost filled"},{"startTime":451.82,"endTime":454.38,"body":"the need of wanting to fully"},{"startTime":451.82,"endTime":454.38,"body":"express myself."},{"startTime":455.66,"endTime":458.94,"body":"Yeah, I completely understand."},{"startTime":455.66,"endTime":458.94,"body":"I know exactly where you're coming"},{"startTime":458.94,"endTime":462.74,"body":"from. You mentioned there that"},{"startTime":458.94,"endTime":462.74,"body":"you worked in leadership and bereavement"},{"startTime":462.74,"endTime":467.42,"body":"programs for young girls. And"},{"startTime":462.74,"endTime":467.42,"body":"you've told me in the past that you"},{"startTime":467.42,"endTime":470.82,"body":"were compelled to help them"},{"startTime":467.42,"endTime":470.82,"body":"have a better experience than you"},{"startTime":470.82,"endTime":473.17,"body":"did. What do you mean by that?"},{"startTime":474.61,"endTime":477.73,"body":"That was specifically for the"},{"startTime":474.61,"endTime":477.73,"body":"young Women's leadership program."},{"startTime":478.13,"endTime":482.17,"body":"This was with the Jenna Drucks"},{"startTime":478.13,"endTime":482.17,"body":"Center, a very influential part of"},{"startTime":482.17,"endTime":489.33,"body":"my career where I got to"},{"startTime":482.17,"endTime":489.33,"body":"oversee this program that was very"},{"startTime":489.33,"endTime":494.53,"body":"social, emotional, based in"},{"startTime":489.33,"endTime":494.53,"body":"how we were imparting leadership"},{"startTime":494.53,"endTime":499.17,"body":"on these girls with these"},{"startTime":494.53,"endTime":499.17,"body":"girls from all corners of San Diego."},{"startTime":500.14,"endTime":505.14,"body":"And I just always was, you"},{"startTime":500.14,"endTime":505.14,"body":"know, high school was horrible for"},{"startTime":505.14,"endTime":509.74,"body":"me. That was. That is my"},{"startTime":505.14,"endTime":509.74,"body":"memory of high school visceral pain,"},{"startTime":509.9,"endTime":514.62,"body":"you know, and I think of"},{"startTime":509.9,"endTime":514.62,"body":"discomfort. And so my driver was"},{"startTime":514.7,"endTime":520.3,"body":"always, I'm gonna, if I can"},{"startTime":514.7,"endTime":520.3,"body":"help it, be just a little bit more"},{"startTime":520.3,"endTime":524.38,"body":"comfortable for these girls"},{"startTime":520.3,"endTime":524.38,"body":"than it was for me, that I'm doing"},{"startTime":524.38,"endTime":527.98,"body":"a service that's meaningful to"},{"startTime":524.38,"endTime":527.98,"body":"me. And I would do that through communication,"},{"startTime":528.57,"endTime":531.77,"body":"teaching communication,"},{"startTime":528.57,"endTime":531.77,"body":"breaking down barriers, helping women,"},{"startTime":531.77,"endTime":535.37,"body":"young women and the women that"},{"startTime":531.77,"endTime":535.37,"body":"would come and mentor step into their"},{"startTime":535.37,"endTime":540.09,"body":"authentic voice and authentic"},{"startTime":535.37,"endTime":540.09,"body":"selves, padded with art experiences,"},{"startTime":540.09,"endTime":544.73,"body":"music experiences, to make it"},{"startTime":540.09,"endTime":544.73,"body":"have that cool factor that would"},{"startTime":544.73,"endTime":551.21,"body":"appeal to them. It took me a"},{"startTime":544.73,"endTime":551.21,"body":"long time to realize what the true"},{"startTime":551.21,"endTime":556.89,"body":"nature of that deep drive in"},{"startTime":551.21,"endTime":556.89,"body":"me to make it better for others."},{"startTime":558.65,"endTime":562.97,"body":"And it was great self"},{"startTime":558.65,"endTime":562.97,"body":"realization for me when that happened."},{"startTime":564.49,"endTime":571.769,"body":"When I really think about that"},{"startTime":564.49,"endTime":571.769,"body":"time in my career where I was so"},{"startTime":571.769,"endTime":577.13,"body":"driven to help these young"},{"startTime":571.769,"endTime":577.13,"body":"women in that moment, I thought it"},{"startTime":577.13,"endTime":586.1,"body":"was just because of the nature"},{"startTime":577.13,"endTime":586.1,"body":"of high school for everybody, that"},{"startTime":586.1,"endTime":591.82,"body":"for everybody, it's such a"},{"startTime":586.1,"endTime":591.82,"body":"difficult experience at times. Fitting"},{"startTime":591.82,"endTime":596.26,"body":"in, finding a sense of"},{"startTime":591.82,"endTime":596.26,"body":"belonging, feeling confident in yourself."},{"startTime":596.26,"endTime":599.26,"body":"You know, it's such a big"},{"startTime":596.26,"endTime":599.26,"body":"developmental stage where we step"},{"startTime":599.26,"endTime":607.78,"body":"into ourselves. I later find"},{"startTime":599.26,"endTime":607.78,"body":"out in my lifetime that there was"},{"startTime":607.78,"endTime":608.14,"body":"actually."},{"startTime":610.3,"endTime":611.42,"body":"A rooted key."},{"startTime":611.42,"endTime":616.9,"body":"Moment that I wasn't. I"},{"startTime":611.42,"endTime":616.9,"body":"couldn't see. And that was around"},{"startTime":616.9,"endTime":620.18,"body":"a sexual assault that happened"},{"startTime":616.9,"endTime":620.18,"body":"when I was in high school that I"},{"startTime":620.18,"endTime":625.46,"body":"told no one about, that I"},{"startTime":620.18,"endTime":625.46,"body":"hadn't processed. So my brain was"},{"startTime":625.46,"endTime":629.82,"body":"working very hard all of my"},{"startTime":625.46,"endTime":629.82,"body":"life to protect me from that. Yet"},{"startTime":630.14,"endTime":636.18,"body":"my protecting self was very"},{"startTime":630.14,"endTime":636.18,"body":"strong. So in that work, padded in"},{"startTime":636.18,"endTime":640.82,"body":"creativity. That was all about"},{"startTime":636.18,"endTime":640.82,"body":"pointing these young women to creativity."},{"startTime":641.22,"endTime":646.1,"body":"I would start to feel the"},{"startTime":641.22,"endTime":646.1,"body":"bubbling of this past trauma in me."},{"startTime":647.62,"endTime":652.86,"body":"And is that the point at which"},{"startTime":647.62,"endTime":652.86,"body":"that past trauma came to the forefront"},{"startTime":652.86,"endTime":657.42,"body":"of your thinking? And you"},{"startTime":652.86,"endTime":657.42,"body":"realized that was when you. What"},{"startTime":657.42,"endTime":661.54,"body":"you needed to address. Was it"},{"startTime":657.42,"endTime":661.54,"body":"at that time or was there, do you"},{"startTime":661.54,"endTime":664.66,"body":"think there was something else"},{"startTime":661.54,"endTime":664.66,"body":"specific that triggered a revisiting"},{"startTime":665.38,"endTime":666.5,"body":"to that trauma?"},{"startTime":668.34,"endTime":674.18,"body":"It was definitely not that"},{"startTime":668.34,"endTime":674.18,"body":"time because I didn't have an intellectual"},{"startTime":674.18,"endTime":677.62,"body":"awareness. You know, I would"},{"startTime":674.18,"endTime":677.62,"body":"start to, because I was working with"},{"startTime":677.62,"endTime":682.9,"body":"teenagers and I have a son who"},{"startTime":677.62,"endTime":682.9,"body":"was entering the age of when that"},{"startTime":682.98,"endTime":689.33,"body":"incident happened to me. So my"},{"startTime":682.98,"endTime":689.33,"body":"body was remembering a lot and I"},{"startTime":690.37,"endTime":694.81,"body":"started to have some"},{"startTime":690.37,"endTime":694.81,"body":"intellectual remembering of what"},{"startTime":694.81,"endTime":698.69,"body":"happened to me, but not"},{"startTime":694.81,"endTime":698.69,"body":"processing it. There's a big difference"},{"startTime":698.93,"endTime":704.49,"body":"between intellectually knowing"},{"startTime":698.93,"endTime":704.49,"body":"something bad happened or that a"},{"startTime":704.49,"endTime":708.13,"body":"trauma happened or, or"},{"startTime":704.49,"endTime":708.13,"body":"anything really, and actually going"},{"startTime":708.13,"endTime":712.93,"body":"through it. So my brain, the"},{"startTime":708.13,"endTime":712.93,"body":"trauma response of our brilliant"},{"startTime":712.93,"endTime":717.7,"body":"brains is to protect us and to"},{"startTime":712.93,"endTime":717.7,"body":"do whatever it can to keep us from"},{"startTime":717.7,"endTime":722.86,"body":"re experiencing pain again."},{"startTime":717.7,"endTime":722.86,"body":"And my brain was brilliant. It would"},{"startTime":722.86,"endTime":729.46,"body":"take a secondary incident that"},{"startTime":722.86,"endTime":729.46,"body":"would happen a few years after that"},{"startTime":729.62,"endTime":738.18,"body":"to really blow the doors off"},{"startTime":729.62,"endTime":738.18,"body":"of my life and the protection mechanism"},{"startTime":738.18,"endTime":741.3,"body":"and actually open the door to"},{"startTime":738.18,"endTime":741.3,"body":"my creativity."},{"startTime":743.12,"endTime":747.72,"body":"So when you say that that door"},{"startTime":743.12,"endTime":747.72,"body":"was closed, and I know I'm not talking"},{"startTime":747.72,"endTime":751.12,"body":"about processing here, I'm"},{"startTime":747.72,"endTime":751.12,"body":"talking about actually remembering."},{"startTime":751.2,"endTime":757.88,"body":"So for me to understand, did"},{"startTime":751.2,"endTime":757.88,"body":"you. Did you consciously completely"},{"startTime":757.88,"endTime":760.92,"body":"block it out? Did your body"},{"startTime":757.88,"endTime":760.92,"body":"say, I'm going to forget this for"},{"startTime":760.92,"endTime":763.6,"body":"you? I'm trying to understand."},{"startTime":764.88,"endTime":769.54,"body":"Yeah, it is a complex thing."},{"startTime":764.88,"endTime":769.54,"body":"And the way that the brain protects"},{"startTime":769.54,"endTime":776.7,"body":"us, it's powerful. And it's"},{"startTime":769.54,"endTime":776.7,"body":"taken me a while to learn. I am a"},{"startTime":776.7,"endTime":779.94,"body":"trauma support specialist now,"},{"startTime":776.7,"endTime":779.94,"body":"so I've had the opportunity in my"},{"startTime":779.94,"endTime":784.34,"body":"own trauma recovery to get to"},{"startTime":779.94,"endTime":784.34,"body":"understand this. So for me, in my"},{"startTime":784.34,"endTime":792.14,"body":"situation, I was 15 years old"},{"startTime":784.34,"endTime":792.14,"body":"and my group of my classmates assaulted"},{"startTime":792.14,"endTime":799.43,"body":"me and I told no one. And from"},{"startTime":792.14,"endTime":799.43,"body":"that moment on, the way that I perceived"},{"startTime":799.51,"endTime":806.67,"body":"myself and the world around me"},{"startTime":799.51,"endTime":806.67,"body":"changed because I did not receive"},{"startTime":806.67,"endTime":811.87,"body":"help. That memory was frozen"},{"startTime":806.67,"endTime":811.87,"body":"and it would come in and interfere"},{"startTime":811.87,"endTime":815.51,"body":"my perceptions throughout"},{"startTime":811.87,"endTime":815.51,"body":"life. And when I would start to think"},{"startTime":815.51,"endTime":819.91,"body":"about it, my brain would shut"},{"startTime":815.51,"endTime":819.91,"body":"it off. There'd be ways to disassociate"},{"startTime":820.23,"endTime":824.27,"body":"from the memory that was"},{"startTime":820.23,"endTime":824.27,"body":"automatically happening from my nervous"},{"startTime":824.27,"endTime":831.51,"body":"system not consciously. One"},{"startTime":824.27,"endTime":831.51,"body":"time, a decade later, I had a visual"},{"startTime":831.51,"endTime":835.79,"body":"memory. And that was when I"},{"startTime":831.51,"endTime":835.79,"body":"started practicing meditation and"},{"startTime":835.79,"endTime":840.39,"body":"I saw it. And nobody, the"},{"startTime":835.79,"endTime":840.39,"body":"people I told didn't really have"},{"startTime":840.39,"endTime":846.87,"body":"anything, suggestions for me."},{"startTime":840.39,"endTime":846.87,"body":"And I. It hurt. And I just kept going."},{"startTime":846.87,"endTime":849.79,"body":"People, we just keep going,"},{"startTime":846.87,"endTime":849.79,"body":"right? That's what our, our cultures"},{"startTime":849.79,"endTime":855.3,"body":"tell us is just keep going,"},{"startTime":849.79,"endTime":855.3,"body":"you know, get over it. And it would"},{"startTime":855.3,"endTime":859.62,"body":"be another, you know, decade"},{"startTime":855.3,"endTime":859.62,"body":"before I would start thinking about"},{"startTime":859.62,"endTime":862.94,"body":"it again. And that was when I"},{"startTime":859.62,"endTime":862.94,"body":"was. My own child was becoming a"},{"startTime":862.94,"endTime":867.939,"body":"teenager and I was working"},{"startTime":862.94,"endTime":867.939,"body":"with these adolescents and it started"},{"startTime":867.939,"endTime":873.38,"body":"to rumble again, rumbling,"},{"startTime":867.939,"endTime":873.38,"body":"rumbling, rumbling up, but only intellectually."},{"startTime":874.18,"endTime":879.06,"body":"And that's incomplete for us"},{"startTime":874.18,"endTime":879.06,"body":"to truly integrate the things that"},{"startTime":879.06,"endTime":885.03,"body":"happen to us. We go through"},{"startTime":879.06,"endTime":885.03,"body":"them, however painful and however"},{"startTime":885.03,"endTime":891.43,"body":"scary. Going through them is"},{"startTime":885.03,"endTime":891.43,"body":"how we can integrate and process"},{"startTime":891.43,"endTime":894.95,"body":"and our brain can actually"},{"startTime":891.43,"endTime":894.95,"body":"file that memory then and it doesn't"},{"startTime":895.03,"endTime":900.75,"body":"disturb or distort our"},{"startTime":895.03,"endTime":900.75,"body":"perceptions going forward. And so"},{"startTime":900.75,"endTime":905.27,"body":"at the time I was working in"},{"startTime":900.75,"endTime":905.27,"body":"that program, I still was not processing."},{"startTime":906.24,"endTime":911.92,"body":"And it would be a decade"},{"startTime":906.24,"endTime":911.92,"body":"later, as I mentioned, in my life,"},{"startTime":912.48,"endTime":918.64,"body":"where I would learn that I did"},{"startTime":912.48,"endTime":918.64,"body":"indeed have post traumatic stress"},{"startTime":919.44,"endTime":925.16,"body":"and that was from a secondary"},{"startTime":919.44,"endTime":925.16,"body":"trauma. All of it, I say, is what"},{"startTime":925.16,"endTime":929.72,"body":"I had to go through in order"},{"startTime":925.16,"endTime":929.72,"body":"for the art to come through all of"},{"startTime":929.72,"endTime":930.32,"body":"these things."},{"startTime":930.88,"endTime":937.19,"body":"So possibly if it weren't for"},{"startTime":930.88,"endTime":937.19,"body":"that secondary trauma, you wouldn't"},{"startTime":937.19,"endTime":942.75,"body":"have pushed yourself to"},{"startTime":937.19,"endTime":942.75,"body":"process the first one, been brave"},{"startTime":942.75,"endTime":944.59,"body":"enough to process the first one."},{"startTime":945.95,"endTime":950.03,"body":"It's hard sometimes for me to"},{"startTime":945.95,"endTime":950.03,"body":"say yes to that, but that's exactly"},{"startTime":950.03,"endTime":955.31,"body":"what I mean. It's hard to say"},{"startTime":950.03,"endTime":955.31,"body":"that having something bad and painful"},{"startTime":955.31,"endTime":959.55,"body":"happen helped me to grow and"},{"startTime":955.31,"endTime":959.55,"body":"evolve and find my true self and"},{"startTime":959.55,"endTime":963.79,"body":"to find my self acceptance and"},{"startTime":959.55,"endTime":963.79,"body":"my sense of belonging and my sense"},{"startTime":963.79,"endTime":969.28,"body":"of safety and to open more"},{"startTime":963.79,"endTime":969.28,"body":"freely and more innocently to the"},{"startTime":969.28,"endTime":974.08,"body":"joy in life and the pleasures"},{"startTime":969.28,"endTime":974.08,"body":"in life. It's hard to say that that"},{"startTime":974.96,"endTime":979.88,"body":"required me to have a second"},{"startTime":974.96,"endTime":979.88,"body":"traumatic event, but it's true. I"},{"startTime":979.88,"endTime":986.24,"body":"had no choice because I was"},{"startTime":979.88,"endTime":986.24,"body":"experiencing delayed onset post traumatic"},{"startTime":986.24,"endTime":992.16,"body":"stress. And the only way out"},{"startTime":986.24,"endTime":992.16,"body":"of that was either to succumb to"},{"startTime":992.16,"endTime":997.08,"body":"it, to medicate myself, to"},{"startTime":992.16,"endTime":997.08,"body":"cover it up, or to go through it."},{"startTime":997.08,"endTime":1002.48,"body":"And because I had lived in"},{"startTime":997.08,"endTime":1002.48,"body":"disconnection from myself for most"},{"startTime":1002.48,"endTime":1008.04,"body":"of my life, I was determined"},{"startTime":1002.48,"endTime":1008.04,"body":"to do that without covering myself"},{"startTime":1008.04,"endTime":1016.73,"body":"up with medication and without"},{"startTime":1008.04,"endTime":1016.73,"body":"pushing it away. So when I had the"},{"startTime":1016.73,"endTime":1025.01,"body":"second trauma, which was going"},{"startTime":1016.73,"endTime":1025.01,"body":"in for a surgery, and the surgery"},{"startTime":1025.01,"endTime":1029.49,"body":"was a fibroid removal just for"},{"startTime":1025.01,"endTime":1029.49,"body":"comfort, completely elective, and"},{"startTime":1029.49,"endTime":1034.97,"body":"waking up to a hysterectomy"},{"startTime":1029.49,"endTime":1034.97,"body":"that I did not consent to for a non"},{"startTime":1034.97,"endTime":1040.29,"body":"life threatening condition,"},{"startTime":1034.97,"endTime":1040.29,"body":"that was a consent related situation"},{"startTime":1041.09,"endTime":1045.099,"body":"that, that just triggered"},{"startTime":1041.09,"endTime":1045.099,"body":"everything that I did not process."},{"startTime":1045.419,"endTime":1051.699,"body":"And it ignited this PTSD in"},{"startTime":1045.419,"endTime":1051.699,"body":"me. And it took me a year before"},{"startTime":1051.699,"endTime":1056.619,"body":"I would discover or realize."},{"startTime":1051.699,"endTime":1056.619,"body":"Even as someone who worked in that"},{"startTime":1056.619,"endTime":1059.419,"body":"bereavement world, which we"},{"startTime":1056.619,"endTime":1059.419,"body":"didn't talk about very much, where"},{"startTime":1059.419,"endTime":1063.979,"body":"I was referring people and"},{"startTime":1059.419,"endTime":1063.979,"body":"working with people and running support"},{"startTime":1063.979,"endTime":1070.38,"body":"groups with folks who were"},{"startTime":1063.979,"endTime":1070.38,"body":"experiencing trauma and ptsd, even"},{"startTime":1070.38,"endTime":1074.9,"body":"with that knowledge, I could"},{"startTime":1070.38,"endTime":1074.9,"body":"not see for a whole year in myself"},{"startTime":1075.3,"endTime":1081.7,"body":"because it is an"},{"startTime":1075.3,"endTime":1081.7,"body":"overwhelmingly painful experience"},{"startTime":1082.02,"endTime":1086.66,"body":"to be in ptsd. It's just"},{"startTime":1082.02,"endTime":1086.66,"body":"exactly like what you would imagine"},{"startTime":1086.98,"endTime":1092.98,"body":"a soldier returning from war"},{"startTime":1086.98,"endTime":1092.98,"body":"and navigating life with that post"},{"startTime":1092.98,"endTime":1097.22,"body":"traumatic stress in the real"},{"startTime":1092.98,"endTime":1097.22,"body":"world, you know, jumping at horns,"},{"startTime":1097.84,"endTime":1102.24,"body":"feeling like the top layer of"},{"startTime":1097.84,"endTime":1102.24,"body":"my skin was off and any change in"},{"startTime":1102.24,"endTime":1107.68,"body":"the wind would be painful."},{"startTime":1102.24,"endTime":1107.68,"body":"Fear in my shower, depression, anxiety"},{"startTime":1107.76,"endTime":1113.32,"body":"like things I'd never had"},{"startTime":1107.76,"endTime":1113.32,"body":"before, like that I was straight"},{"startTime":1113.32,"endTime":1119.24,"body":"up able to apply for"},{"startTime":1113.32,"endTime":1119.24,"body":"disability, but I could not do the"},{"startTime":1119.24,"endTime":1126.57,"body":"paperwork. Navigating the"},{"startTime":1119.24,"endTime":1126.57,"body":"system almost took me down. And that's"},{"startTime":1126.57,"endTime":1130.69,"body":"not how I was going down. That"},{"startTime":1126.57,"endTime":1130.69,"body":"is not how I was going down. I was"},{"startTime":1130.69,"endTime":1136.93,"body":"going to find a way. And"},{"startTime":1130.69,"endTime":1136.93,"body":"gratefully I was able to reconnect"},{"startTime":1137.01,"endTime":1143.69,"body":"with the ocean. The ocean. I"},{"startTime":1137.01,"endTime":1143.69,"body":"wanted to be an oceanographer. This"},{"startTime":1143.69,"endTime":1146.61,"body":"is the first thing I ever"},{"startTime":1143.69,"endTime":1146.61,"body":"wanted to be. As a child, my dad"},{"startTime":1146.61,"endTime":1151.63,"body":"took us snorkeling and I fell"},{"startTime":1146.61,"endTime":1151.63,"body":"in love with the underwater world."},{"startTime":1151.71,"endTime":1156.15,"body":"It's so magical and beautiful."},{"startTime":1151.71,"endTime":1156.15,"body":"And I learned how much math and science"},{"startTime":1156.15,"endTime":1165.07,"body":"an oceanographer would have to"},{"startTime":1156.15,"endTime":1165.07,"body":"do, let that plane go. And so I didn't"},{"startTime":1165.15,"endTime":1170.47,"body":"go that direction, but I had"},{"startTime":1165.15,"endTime":1170.47,"body":"this love affair of the ocean. And"},{"startTime":1170.47,"endTime":1174.39,"body":"I got pulled away from the"},{"startTime":1170.47,"endTime":1174.39,"body":"ocean. You know, the assault that"},{"startTime":1174.39,"endTime":1182.51,"body":"I was in. These young men,"},{"startTime":1174.39,"endTime":1182.51,"body":"popular sports, surfing, I just had"},{"startTime":1182.51,"endTime":1185.71,"body":"this association that would"},{"startTime":1182.51,"endTime":1185.71,"body":"start to pull me away and I'd have"},{"startTime":1185.71,"endTime":1188.99,"body":"fear around the ocean. I"},{"startTime":1185.71,"endTime":1188.99,"body":"didn't understand. I still was drawn"},{"startTime":1188.99,"endTime":1195.11,"body":"to it, but didn't go in it."},{"startTime":1188.99,"endTime":1195.11,"body":"And I live five blocks from the beach."},{"startTime":1195.11,"endTime":1199.47,"body":"And during these years of the"},{"startTime":1195.11,"endTime":1199.47,"body":"ptsd, I would walk up and down the"},{"startTime":1199.47,"endTime":1204.76,"body":"beach, up and down the beach,"},{"startTime":1199.47,"endTime":1204.76,"body":"and, you know, growing up in this"},{"startTime":1204.76,"endTime":1209.36,"body":"surf culture and having just"},{"startTime":1204.76,"endTime":1209.36,"body":"about everyone around me surf, I"},{"startTime":1209.36,"endTime":1213.2,"body":"told myself I wanted to feel"},{"startTime":1209.36,"endTime":1213.2,"body":"that feeling just once, to ride a"},{"startTime":1213.2,"endTime":1218.32,"body":"wave just once. And I was able"},{"startTime":1213.2,"endTime":1218.32,"body":"to go down to Todo Santos in Mexico"},{"startTime":1218.32,"endTime":1225.52,"body":"and ride a wave. And I became"},{"startTime":1218.32,"endTime":1225.52,"body":"instantly addicted. The feeling,"},{"startTime":1225.52,"endTime":1231.7,"body":"the liberation, the freedom,"},{"startTime":1225.52,"endTime":1231.7,"body":"the joy. I had to feel it again."},{"startTime":1232.1,"endTime":1236.46,"body":"And it took me a while because"},{"startTime":1232.1,"endTime":1236.46,"body":"when I came home, I was back in this"},{"startTime":1236.46,"endTime":1242.06,"body":"land where there's all these"},{"startTime":1236.46,"endTime":1242.06,"body":"surf guys and, you know, perceptions"},{"startTime":1242.06,"endTime":1245.5,"body":"that my brain hadn't processed"},{"startTime":1242.06,"endTime":1245.5,"body":"yet that would trigger all this fear."},{"startTime":1245.5,"endTime":1249.7,"body":"I didn't know who would teach"},{"startTime":1245.5,"endTime":1249.7,"body":"me. It took me a few months and the"},{"startTime":1249.7,"endTime":1253.94,"body":"universe dropped in a surf"},{"startTime":1249.7,"endTime":1253.94,"body":"therapy group right on my local beach"},{"startTime":1253.94,"endTime":1258.76,"body":"for women Navigating Trauma"},{"startTime":1253.94,"endTime":1258.76,"body":"Groundswell Community Project. And"},{"startTime":1259.16,"endTime":1266.36,"body":"through an eight week program,"},{"startTime":1259.16,"endTime":1266.36,"body":"I was able to learn to surf. More"},{"startTime":1266.36,"endTime":1270.76,"body":"than that. Way more important"},{"startTime":1266.36,"endTime":1270.76,"body":"than that was through surfing, I"},{"startTime":1270.76,"endTime":1277.4,"body":"was able to face myself, to"},{"startTime":1270.76,"endTime":1277.4,"body":"see what my brain was doing, to find"},{"startTime":1277.4,"endTime":1281.32,"body":"my freedom through being able"},{"startTime":1277.4,"endTime":1281.32,"body":"to see the trauma and integrate it"},{"startTime":1281.32,"endTime":1287.43,"body":"in a way that included joy."},{"startTime":1281.32,"endTime":1287.43,"body":"Helped me to see that I did belong"},{"startTime":1288.15,"endTime":1293.67,"body":"helped me to find courage. You"},{"startTime":1288.15,"endTime":1293.67,"body":"know, there's plenty of science that"},{"startTime":1293.67,"endTime":1298.99,"body":"shows us when we are in, on or"},{"startTime":1293.67,"endTime":1298.99,"body":"around the water, our nervous systems"},{"startTime":1298.99,"endTime":1303.47,"body":"shift, our happiness"},{"startTime":1298.99,"endTime":1303.47,"body":"increases. So, you know, trauma recovery"},{"startTime":1303.47,"endTime":1307.83,"body":"is not always that fun. It's"},{"startTime":1303.47,"endTime":1307.83,"body":"generally a very lonely experience,"},{"startTime":1308.31,"endTime":1311.75,"body":"including, you know, the talk"},{"startTime":1308.31,"endTime":1311.75,"body":"therapy, which can be very valuable,"},{"startTime":1311.75,"endTime":1315.71,"body":"of course, but to find"},{"startTime":1311.75,"endTime":1315.71,"body":"something that reconnected me to"},{"startTime":1315.71,"endTime":1322.19,"body":"the ocean, that pointed me to"},{"startTime":1315.71,"endTime":1322.19,"body":"home. Home of the sea, but home to"},{"startTime":1322.19,"endTime":1329.95,"body":"myself. And as I've become"},{"startTime":1322.19,"endTime":1329.95,"body":"more at home and comfortable in my"},{"startTime":1329.95,"endTime":1337.59,"body":"body, resolving the traumas of"},{"startTime":1329.95,"endTime":1337.59,"body":"my past, there's this whole new expression"},{"startTime":1337.59,"endTime":1341.8,"body":"of me. It's like I've stepped"},{"startTime":1337.59,"endTime":1341.8,"body":"out of a cage I didn't know that"},{"startTime":1341.8,"endTime":1348.0,"body":"I was in. And I'm seeing life"},{"startTime":1341.8,"endTime":1348.0,"body":"for the first time and what's coming"},{"startTime":1348.08,"endTime":1353.2,"body":"into my life and through me as"},{"startTime":1348.08,"endTime":1353.2,"body":"I relate to the world around me."},{"startTime":1353.6,"endTime":1358.56,"body":"From more of a sense of"},{"startTime":1353.6,"endTime":1358.56,"body":"feeling safe. Like, imagine not feeling"},{"startTime":1358.56,"endTime":1361.96,"body":"safe your whole life and not"},{"startTime":1358.56,"endTime":1361.96,"body":"realizing it. So now I come from"},{"startTime":1361.96,"endTime":1367.91,"body":"a place of more self"},{"startTime":1361.96,"endTime":1367.91,"body":"acceptance, more self love, a sense"},{"startTime":1367.91,"endTime":1374.19,"body":"of safety around me I'm able"},{"startTime":1367.91,"endTime":1374.19,"body":"to regulate. When my body has remembrances"},{"startTime":1374.35,"endTime":1377.35,"body":"that aren't quite integrated"},{"startTime":1374.35,"endTime":1377.35,"body":"yet, I can see it and be with it."},{"startTime":1377.35,"endTime":1381.59,"body":"And so now it's like, oh, my"},{"startTime":1377.35,"endTime":1381.59,"body":"gosh, I feel the pulse of life in"},{"startTime":1381.59,"endTime":1387.67,"body":"such a fresh, new way. And"},{"startTime":1381.59,"endTime":1387.67,"body":"then I get to have this art expression"},{"startTime":1387.67,"endTime":1391.99,"body":"which came from another"},{"startTime":1387.67,"endTime":1391.99,"body":"adversity. It's amazing how adversity"},{"startTime":1391.99,"endTime":1396.91,"body":"can be the key to revelation,"},{"startTime":1391.99,"endTime":1396.91,"body":"self discovery and creativity and"},{"startTime":1396.91,"endTime":1401.79,"body":"innovation. And that would"},{"startTime":1396.91,"endTime":1401.79,"body":"happen for me just, just recently,"},{"startTime":1401.87,"endTime":1402.59,"body":"as you know."},{"startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1409.99,"body":"I think it's all very symbolic"},{"startTime":1403.79,"endTime":1409.99,"body":"and it all follows a wavy pattern"},{"startTime":1409.99,"endTime":1413.31,"body":"that gets to where you are"},{"startTime":1409.99,"endTime":1413.31,"body":"now. So, yes, do tell us about. Because,"},{"startTime":1413.31,"endTime":1417.11,"body":"I mean, I've seen your"},{"startTime":1413.31,"endTime":1417.11,"body":"artwork. Absolutely amazing, amazing"},{"startTime":1417.11,"endTime":1420.52,"body":"stuff. Tell us about how you"},{"startTime":1417.11,"endTime":1420.52,"body":"started the."},{"startTime":1420.67,"endTime":1428.11,"body":"That I. I'm in awe of this"},{"startTime":1420.67,"endTime":1428.11,"body":"whole process. And so as we all have"},{"startTime":1428.11,"endTime":1435.95,"body":"experienced, Covid hit and"},{"startTime":1428.11,"endTime":1435.95,"body":"life changed for everyone in many"},{"startTime":1435.95,"endTime":1441.27,"body":"different ways. About a year"},{"startTime":1435.95,"endTime":1441.27,"body":"and a half ago, I was laid off from"},{"startTime":1441.27,"endTime":1446.8,"body":"my job. And I thought to"},{"startTime":1441.27,"endTime":1446.8,"body":"myself, I'm going to surface. I get"},{"startTime":1446.8,"endTime":1450.16,"body":"to be off of the grind and I"},{"startTime":1446.8,"endTime":1450.16,"body":"get to surf. I'm just going to surf,"},{"startTime":1450.16,"endTime":1452.64,"body":"surf, surf. I don't know what"},{"startTime":1450.16,"endTime":1452.64,"body":"this is that's happening. They're"},{"startTime":1452.64,"endTime":1457.76,"body":"saying two weeks, but I'm"},{"startTime":1452.64,"endTime":1457.76,"body":"going to surf. Four days later, the"},{"startTime":1457.76,"endTime":1463.96,"body":"ocean closed. As devastated as"},{"startTime":1457.76,"endTime":1463.96,"body":"I've shared, I made a choice, a personal"},{"startTime":1464.04,"endTime":1469.4,"body":"choice, to not be on"},{"startTime":1464.04,"endTime":1469.4,"body":"medication for ptsd. My medication"},{"startTime":1469.48,"endTime":1475.55,"body":"is the salt water. It is"},{"startTime":1469.48,"endTime":1475.55,"body":"surfing. So when the ocean closed,"},{"startTime":1476.19,"endTime":1482.47,"body":"I had fear rise in me. This"},{"startTime":1476.19,"endTime":1482.47,"body":"was a great test because I couldn't"},{"startTime":1482.47,"endTime":1485.75,"body":"get my medication. You know,"},{"startTime":1482.47,"endTime":1485.75,"body":"would everything that I've worked"},{"startTime":1485.75,"endTime":1490.75,"body":"so hard to, to heal start"},{"startTime":1485.75,"endTime":1490.75,"body":"bubbling back up again and take over?"},{"startTime":1490.75,"endTime":1496.19,"body":"I didn't know. And in all of"},{"startTime":1490.75,"endTime":1496.19,"body":"the uncertainty and in an environment"},{"startTime":1496.51,"endTime":1504.76,"body":"where all of us didn't feel"},{"startTime":1496.51,"endTime":1504.76,"body":"safe, and I felt desperate and afraid"},{"startTime":1505.24,"endTime":1513.24,"body":"and alone and looking for ways"},{"startTime":1505.24,"endTime":1513.24,"body":"to cope. So I remembered that the."},{"startTime":1513.4,"endTime":1518.72,"body":"The surf therapy program, the"},{"startTime":1513.4,"endTime":1518.72,"body":"surf therapist that started it, before"},{"startTime":1518.72,"endTime":1522.4,"body":"she did surf therapy, she was"},{"startTime":1518.72,"endTime":1522.4,"body":"an art therapist, and she modeled"},{"startTime":1522.4,"endTime":1528.37,"body":"this surf therapy program on"},{"startTime":1522.4,"endTime":1528.37,"body":"an art therapy model. And out of"},{"startTime":1528.37,"endTime":1534.21,"body":"desperation, I thought, I'm"},{"startTime":1528.37,"endTime":1534.21,"body":"gonna paint. I'm gonna paint. And"},{"startTime":1534.21,"endTime":1541.85,"body":"I had a surfboard in my"},{"startTime":1534.21,"endTime":1541.85,"body":"backyard that my ex had shaped, and"},{"startTime":1542.41,"endTime":1547.77,"body":"it actually was the source of"},{"startTime":1542.41,"endTime":1547.77,"body":"a lot of feelings for me."},{"startTime":1547.85,"endTime":1548.25,"body":"We."},{"startTime":1548.84,"endTime":1552.64,"body":"We parted ways right after the"},{"startTime":1548.84,"endTime":1552.64,"body":"hysterectomy, when I didn't know"},{"startTime":1552.64,"endTime":1557.52,"body":"I had ptsd, when it probably"},{"startTime":1552.64,"endTime":1557.52,"body":"wasn't the best time for me to make"},{"startTime":1557.52,"endTime":1562.48,"body":"decisions. And so I had a lot"},{"startTime":1557.52,"endTime":1562.48,"body":"of angst around this board. I couldn't"},{"startTime":1562.48,"endTime":1566.8,"body":"get rid of it. It was hard to"},{"startTime":1562.48,"endTime":1566.8,"body":"keep. And so I had this process alone"},{"startTime":1566.8,"endTime":1574.49,"body":"in my home with this big,"},{"startTime":1566.8,"endTime":1574.49,"body":"beautiful board, and I'm pulling"},{"startTime":1574.49,"endTime":1578.45,"body":"out paint, which, you know, as"},{"startTime":1574.49,"endTime":1578.45,"body":"I said, I was like pen and ink, linear,"},{"startTime":1578.93,"endTime":1586.01,"body":"very harsh, stark work that I"},{"startTime":1578.93,"endTime":1586.01,"body":"would do way, way, way, way back"},{"startTime":1586.01,"endTime":1590.93,"body":"in. In the day of that"},{"startTime":1586.01,"endTime":1590.93,"body":"community college time. And so I"},{"startTime":1590.93,"endTime":1594.57,"body":"learned that using these Posca"},{"startTime":1590.93,"endTime":1594.57,"body":"acrylic markers is what people used"},{"startTime":1594.57,"endTime":1599.01,"body":"on the surfboards. And so I"},{"startTime":1594.57,"endTime":1599.01,"body":"got some. And I got this board out."},{"startTime":1599.01,"endTime":1603.24,"body":"I didn't know what the heck I"},{"startTime":1599.01,"endTime":1603.24,"body":"was going to do, but what I did do"},{"startTime":1603.4,"endTime":1609.32,"body":"was a lot of healing. And I"},{"startTime":1603.4,"endTime":1609.32,"body":"touched the board, and I prepared"},{"startTime":1609.32,"endTime":1615.72,"body":"the board, and I began to feel"},{"startTime":1609.32,"endTime":1615.72,"body":"the lines in the board to discover"},{"startTime":1616.36,"endTime":1620.84,"body":"what to paint on it. And I"},{"startTime":1616.36,"endTime":1620.84,"body":"would remember at the same time who"},{"startTime":1620.84,"endTime":1626.2,"body":"made the board. And I had"},{"startTime":1620.84,"endTime":1626.2,"body":"tears on this board. Not tears of"},{"startTime":1626.76,"endTime":1630.92,"body":"upset, but just, like,"},{"startTime":1626.76,"endTime":1630.92,"body":"releasing and releasing and appreciating."},{"startTime":1631.16,"endTime":1637.01,"body":"And I started painting"},{"startTime":1631.16,"endTime":1637.01,"body":"turtles. I didn't even know I could"},{"startTime":1637.01,"endTime":1643.37,"body":"paint turtles. And this"},{"startTime":1637.01,"endTime":1643.37,"body":"colorful, flowy kelp and little line"},{"startTime":1643.37,"endTime":1649.85,"body":"of sea turtles came out, and"},{"startTime":1643.37,"endTime":1649.85,"body":"I. I couldn't believe it. I literally"},{"startTime":1649.85,"endTime":1652.89,"body":"showed pictures of it to"},{"startTime":1649.85,"endTime":1652.89,"body":"people because I didn't know where"},{"startTime":1652.89,"endTime":1658.0,"body":"it came from. But what I did"},{"startTime":1652.89,"endTime":1658.0,"body":"know was that I found a piece of."},{"startTime":1658.55,"endTime":1665.27,"body":"And I was able to find this"},{"startTime":1658.55,"endTime":1665.27,"body":"calm appreciation for the significant"},{"startTime":1665.59,"endTime":1669.39,"body":"person in my life who made the"},{"startTime":1665.59,"endTime":1669.39,"body":"board. You know, I was able to see"},{"startTime":1669.39,"endTime":1673.03,"body":"the beauty in that and. And."},{"startTime":1669.39,"endTime":1673.03,"body":"And transform something that was"},{"startTime":1673.19,"endTime":1676.95,"body":"painful, my environment around"},{"startTime":1673.19,"endTime":1676.95,"body":"me in that moment with the pandemic."},{"startTime":1677.35,"endTime":1685.15,"body":"And, you know, my my lost love"},{"startTime":1677.35,"endTime":1685.15,"body":"into this beautiful board. And they"},{"startTime":1685.15,"endTime":1689.15,"body":"haven't stopped flowing since."},{"startTime":1685.15,"endTime":1689.15,"body":"It just is flowing and flowing. And"},{"startTime":1689.15,"endTime":1698.55,"body":"I look at them, I'm in awe"},{"startTime":1689.15,"endTime":1698.55,"body":"that the colors and the flowy vibe"},{"startTime":1698.63,"endTime":1705.91,"body":"comes out, and it's inspiring"},{"startTime":1698.63,"endTime":1705.91,"body":"me to take bold steps. So I realized"},{"startTime":1705.91,"endTime":1710.47,"body":"at one point that through the"},{"startTime":1705.91,"endTime":1710.47,"body":"help of a friend, that I was dismissing"},{"startTime":1711.03,"endTime":1714.27,"body":"this art, this expression."},{"startTime":1711.03,"endTime":1714.27,"body":"Yeah, yeah, I need to get back to"},{"startTime":1714.27,"endTime":1716.47,"body":"work, but I'm doing these"},{"startTime":1714.27,"endTime":1716.47,"body":"boards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I need"},{"startTime":1716.47,"endTime":1720.39,"body":"to get back to work. And he"},{"startTime":1716.47,"endTime":1720.39,"body":"paused me to really look at that."},{"startTime":1721.03,"endTime":1729.67,"body":"And I realized that by"},{"startTime":1721.03,"endTime":1729.67,"body":"dismissing this authentic flow that"},{"startTime":1729.67,"endTime":1735.03,"body":"was expressing through me, I"},{"startTime":1729.67,"endTime":1735.03,"body":"was dismissing my authentic self,"},{"startTime":1735.03,"endTime":1741.28,"body":"my true self. So I made a"},{"startTime":1735.03,"endTime":1741.28,"body":"choice to own it, to let it flow,"},{"startTime":1741.28,"endTime":1748.72,"body":"to enjoy it, to feel it, to"},{"startTime":1741.28,"endTime":1748.72,"body":"love it. And one bold move I made"},{"startTime":1748.72,"endTime":1752.4,"body":"was to enter it into a gallery"},{"startTime":1748.72,"endTime":1752.4,"body":"showing at the Ashton Gallery here"},{"startTime":1752.4,"endTime":1757.24,"body":"in San Diego. And my board was"},{"startTime":1752.4,"endTime":1757.24,"body":"selected to be in the showing. I"},{"startTime":1757.24,"endTime":1760.84,"body":"entered another one, and"},{"startTime":1757.24,"endTime":1760.84,"body":"another one was selected to be in"},{"startTime":1760.84,"endTime":1766.54,"body":"another juried showing. And I"},{"startTime":1760.84,"endTime":1766.54,"body":"just keep saying, yes to this flow,"},{"startTime":1766.54,"endTime":1772.46,"body":"yes to the color, yes to the"},{"startTime":1766.54,"endTime":1772.46,"body":"curvy lines, yes to allowing what"},{"startTime":1772.46,"endTime":1776.58,"body":"doesn't all the way make"},{"startTime":1772.46,"endTime":1776.58,"body":"sense. I'm not forcing it. I'm not"},{"startTime":1776.66,"endTime":1781.54,"body":"saying I'm going to paint a"},{"startTime":1776.66,"endTime":1781.54,"body":"dolphin, because when I do that,"},{"startTime":1781.86,"endTime":1788.58,"body":"an octopus shows up. So I just"},{"startTime":1781.86,"endTime":1788.58,"body":"let it flow. You know, in life, we"},{"startTime":1788.58,"endTime":1792.55,"body":"can really get attached to"},{"startTime":1788.58,"endTime":1792.55,"body":"what we think is supposed to happen"},{"startTime":1792.55,"endTime":1799.07,"body":"and how it's supposed to"},{"startTime":1792.55,"endTime":1799.07,"body":"happen, and that can block us from"},{"startTime":1799.07,"endTime":1803.23,"body":"what is happening. And so in"},{"startTime":1799.07,"endTime":1803.23,"body":"this pandemic where nothing makes"},{"startTime":1803.23,"endTime":1806.99,"body":"sense and everything is upside"},{"startTime":1803.23,"endTime":1806.99,"body":"down, I started focusing on where"},{"startTime":1806.99,"endTime":1813.27,"body":"there was flow. Work wasn't"},{"startTime":1806.99,"endTime":1813.27,"body":"flowing, social connection wasn't"},{"startTime":1813.27,"endTime":1819.59,"body":"flowing. But this art was and"},{"startTime":1813.27,"endTime":1819.59,"body":"is flowing. So I'm going with it."},{"startTime":1819.59,"endTime":1823.87,"body":"I'm dropping in as. As we"},{"startTime":1819.59,"endTime":1823.87,"body":"would say in surfing, you know, and"},{"startTime":1823.87,"endTime":1826.95,"body":"that's a scary part of"},{"startTime":1823.87,"endTime":1826.95,"body":"surfing, is dropping into the wave."},{"startTime":1827.35,"endTime":1833.43,"body":"But I realized that what's the"},{"startTime":1827.35,"endTime":1833.43,"body":"worst thing that can happen when"},{"startTime":1833.43,"endTime":1837.91,"body":"you drop in is that you can"},{"startTime":1833.43,"endTime":1837.91,"body":"wipe out. And surf therapy, I learned"},{"startTime":1837.91,"endTime":1841.87,"body":"that. Wiping out. Every time I"},{"startTime":1837.91,"endTime":1841.87,"body":"do it, I. I'm laughing on the other"},{"startTime":1841.87,"endTime":1846.29,"body":"side, I'm smiling. I'm feeling"},{"startTime":1841.87,"endTime":1846.29,"body":"more connected. I'm feeling the stoke,"},{"startTime":1846.45,"endTime":1850.69,"body":"I'm feeling the mana. And"},{"startTime":1846.45,"endTime":1850.69,"body":"that's ultimately what I've named"},{"startTime":1850.69,"endTime":1857.09,"body":"my. My art business is mermaid"},{"startTime":1850.69,"endTime":1857.09,"body":"mana, and the tagline is sea magic."},{"startTime":1857.49,"endTime":1867.81,"body":"S E A sea magic. Be magic. And"},{"startTime":1857.49,"endTime":1867.81,"body":"it's my natural expression that reminded"},{"startTime":1867.81,"endTime":1872.6,"body":"me of the treasure that nature"},{"startTime":1867.81,"endTime":1872.6,"body":"and ocean keep gives to me. And even"},{"startTime":1872.6,"endTime":1877.2,"body":"when it was taken away from"},{"startTime":1872.6,"endTime":1877.2,"body":"me, it wasn't all the way taken from"},{"startTime":1877.2,"endTime":1882.64,"body":"me. And so when we can,"},{"startTime":1877.2,"endTime":1882.64,"body":"especially in these extraordinarily"},{"startTime":1882.64,"endTime":1887.24,"body":"difficult times, find ways to"},{"startTime":1882.64,"endTime":1887.24,"body":"tap into nature and the things that"},{"startTime":1887.24,"endTime":1893.56,"body":"help us breathe and find"},{"startTime":1887.24,"endTime":1893.56,"body":"peace, only good things can come."},{"startTime":1893.56,"endTime":1894.72,"body":"At least that's my experience."},{"startTime":1896.48,"endTime":1901.86,"body":"Your experience is tremendous."},{"startTime":1896.48,"endTime":1901.86,"body":"There is such a lot to think about"},{"startTime":1902.02,"endTime":1909.14,"body":"there. And of course, it is"},{"startTime":1902.02,"endTime":1909.14,"body":"very positive now. And we've gone"},{"startTime":1909.14,"endTime":1913.66,"body":"back from the very beginning"},{"startTime":1909.14,"endTime":1913.66,"body":"of your story where nature was so"},{"startTime":1913.66,"endTime":1919.86,"body":"important to you and the flow"},{"startTime":1913.66,"endTime":1919.86,"body":"is an important thing. It's really,"},{"startTime":1920.5,"endTime":1924.66,"body":"really positive. Do you think"},{"startTime":1920.5,"endTime":1924.66,"body":"now, having done it on the boards,"},{"startTime":1925.25,"endTime":1930.41,"body":"you could do it on a different"},{"startTime":1925.25,"endTime":1930.41,"body":"platform? You think about where the"},{"startTime":1930.41,"endTime":1933.25,"body":"board has been before, you"},{"startTime":1930.41,"endTime":1933.25,"body":"know, the people that have used the"},{"startTime":1933.25,"endTime":1937.37,"body":"board. So it helps in your"},{"startTime":1933.25,"endTime":1937.37,"body":"process. But I wonder if this might"},{"startTime":1937.37,"endTime":1942.37,"body":"develop. You might feel freer"},{"startTime":1937.37,"endTime":1942.37,"body":"to try other things."},{"startTime":1942.85,"endTime":1945.61,"body":"That's a great question. And"},{"startTime":1942.85,"endTime":1945.61,"body":"I've been thinking about it a lot"},{"startTime":1945.61,"endTime":1950.41,"body":"because I'm starting to have"},{"startTime":1945.61,"endTime":1950.41,"body":"people ask me. I have someone asking"},{"startTime":1950.41,"endTime":1955.76,"body":"me to design a sea creature"},{"startTime":1950.41,"endTime":1955.76,"body":"for a tattoo. You know, after going"},{"startTime":1955.76,"endTime":1959.92,"body":"to the trade show that I just"},{"startTime":1955.76,"endTime":1959.92,"body":"was in this past weekend, my first"},{"startTime":1960.0,"endTime":1964.32,"body":"is launching this brand of"},{"startTime":1960.0,"endTime":1964.32,"body":"mermaid mana. I talked to so many"},{"startTime":1964.32,"endTime":1968.16,"body":"people. I had people asking me"},{"startTime":1964.32,"endTime":1968.16,"body":"about murals. I've been asked about"},{"startTime":1968.16,"endTime":1972.36,"body":"electrical boxes. We have a"},{"startTime":1968.16,"endTime":1972.36,"body":"program here. I don't know if you"},{"startTime":1972.36,"endTime":1975.2,"body":"have it where you're at, but"},{"startTime":1972.36,"endTime":1975.2,"body":"there's electrical boxes everywhere."},{"startTime":1975.2,"endTime":1978.08,"body":"And some neighborhoods have"},{"startTime":1975.2,"endTime":1978.08,"body":"programs to paint them, to beautify"},{"startTime":1978.08,"endTime":1981.79,"body":"them. And so these different"},{"startTime":1978.08,"endTime":1981.79,"body":"mediums are coming up, and I'm thinking"},{"startTime":1981.79,"endTime":1987.35,"body":"about it, and I'm going to say"},{"startTime":1981.79,"endTime":1987.35,"body":"yes to everything. And my love, my"},{"startTime":1987.35,"endTime":1994.27,"body":"love, my pure joy is working"},{"startTime":1987.35,"endTime":1994.27,"body":"with the boards. It represents so"},{"startTime":1994.27,"endTime":1998.07,"body":"much. There is someone,"},{"startTime":1994.27,"endTime":1998.07,"body":"there's an original artist, the board"},{"startTime":1998.15,"endTime":2002.11,"body":"maker, the shaper, who took a"},{"startTime":1998.15,"endTime":2002.11,"body":"piece of foam and turned it into"},{"startTime":2002.11,"endTime":2006.54,"body":"something that's aerodynamic."},{"startTime":2002.11,"endTime":2006.54,"body":"It's scientific and artistic. And"},{"startTime":2006.86,"endTime":2013.42,"body":"I'm mostly painting on used"},{"startTime":2006.86,"endTime":2013.42,"body":"boards. So there's pressure, dings,"},{"startTime":2013.42,"endTime":2020.499,"body":"and representations of someone"},{"startTime":2013.42,"endTime":2020.499,"body":"dropping in and taking a chance and"},{"startTime":2020.499,"endTime":2024.42,"body":"riding a wave and feeling the"},{"startTime":2020.499,"endTime":2024.42,"body":"spoke. All of that's very meaningful"},{"startTime":2024.42,"endTime":2028.22,"body":"to me. So, like, for the"},{"startTime":2024.42,"endTime":2028.22,"body":"tattoo, I'm gonna double up. I'm"},{"startTime":2028.22,"endTime":2030.7,"body":"going to. I have a board that"},{"startTime":2028.22,"endTime":2030.7,"body":"I'm going to paint. She wants a."},{"startTime":2030.85,"endTime":2035.09,"body":"A jellyfish. So I'm going to"},{"startTime":2030.85,"endTime":2035.09,"body":"explore jellyfish on this new board"},{"startTime":2035.25,"endTime":2041.21,"body":"and then design one for her."},{"startTime":2035.25,"endTime":2041.21,"body":"So I'm going to do both. I'm taking"},{"startTime":2041.21,"endTime":2046.25,"body":"close up photos of the sea"},{"startTime":2041.21,"endTime":2046.25,"body":"creatures and printing them and matting"},{"startTime":2046.25,"endTime":2050.21,"body":"them and offering those at the"},{"startTime":2046.25,"endTime":2050.21,"body":"trade show. I've been making note"},{"startTime":2050.21,"endTime":2055.13,"body":"cards using close up photos of"},{"startTime":2050.21,"endTime":2055.13,"body":"the art. So I'm transmuting it into"},{"startTime":2055.13,"endTime":2058.01,"body":"different expressions, all"},{"startTime":2055.13,"endTime":2058.01,"body":"different ways that people can enjoy"},{"startTime":2058.01,"endTime":2061.13,"body":"it. Because not everybody's"},{"startTime":2058.01,"endTime":2061.13,"body":"going to want a six foot board on"},{"startTime":2061.13,"endTime":2065.89,"body":"their wall. And as I show"},{"startTime":2061.13,"endTime":2065.89,"body":"people in the world, the affirmation"},{"startTime":2065.89,"endTime":2069.93,"body":"that I'm getting is very"},{"startTime":2065.89,"endTime":2069.93,"body":"humbling to see that people really"},{"startTime":2069.93,"endTime":2076.13,"body":"find joy in looking at what is"},{"startTime":2069.93,"endTime":2076.13,"body":"coming out of me. And it's, it's"},{"startTime":2076.13,"endTime":2081.29,"body":"humbling, it's calming. And it"},{"startTime":2076.13,"endTime":2081.29,"body":"takes me to this place of gratitude,"},{"startTime":2081.37,"endTime":2087.899,"body":"deep gratitude that I was able"},{"startTime":2081.37,"endTime":2087.899,"body":"to find my peace and I was able to"},{"startTime":2087.899,"endTime":2093.059,"body":"find, you know, make space to"},{"startTime":2087.899,"endTime":2093.059,"body":"actually get help. Mine was an extreme"},{"startTime":2093.059,"endTime":2097.059,"body":"case, but all, all of us"},{"startTime":2093.059,"endTime":2097.059,"body":"humans have our stories, you know,"},{"startTime":2097.059,"endTime":2103.619,"body":"and imagine if we all took a"},{"startTime":2097.059,"endTime":2103.619,"body":"minute to find the way to share or"},{"startTime":2103.619,"endTime":2108.899,"body":"access help for the trials and"},{"startTime":2103.619,"endTime":2108.899,"body":"tribulations that we experience,"},{"startTime":2109.299,"endTime":2112.72,"body":"perhaps there would be even"},{"startTime":2109.299,"endTime":2112.72,"body":"more beauty in the world. And so"},{"startTime":2112.72,"endTime":2117.96,"body":"if I can speak to that and"},{"startTime":2112.72,"endTime":2117.96,"body":"share a vulnerable story as a extreme"},{"startTime":2118.6,"endTime":2123.04,"body":"example of what happens when"},{"startTime":2118.6,"endTime":2123.04,"body":"you start to heal the wounds that"},{"startTime":2123.04,"endTime":2126.48,"body":"are acquired over a lifetime,"},{"startTime":2123.04,"endTime":2126.48,"body":"or they don't even have to be wounds,"},{"startTime":2126.48,"endTime":2132.48,"body":"just the, just the intensity"},{"startTime":2126.48,"endTime":2132.48,"body":"of the life trajectory. Being a parent,"},{"startTime":2132.48,"endTime":2136.68,"body":"being a partner, you know,"},{"startTime":2132.48,"endTime":2136.68,"body":"being a professional takes a toll"},{"startTime":2136.68,"endTime":2140.28,"body":"on our hearts and souls. And"},{"startTime":2136.68,"endTime":2140.28,"body":"so the more we can cleanse them and,"},{"startTime":2140.82,"endTime":2145.22,"body":"and heal, the more we invite"},{"startTime":2140.82,"endTime":2145.22,"body":"ourselves to open up, to express"},{"startTime":2145.3,"endTime":2149.38,"body":"our true selves. I'll keep"},{"startTime":2145.3,"endTime":2149.38,"body":"telling the story. It's, you know,"},{"startTime":2149.46,"endTime":2151.3,"body":"thank you for letting me tell"},{"startTime":2149.46,"endTime":2151.3,"body":"the story."},{"startTime":2151.7,"endTime":2155.82,"body":"Not at all. It's an absolutely"},{"startTime":2151.7,"endTime":2155.82,"body":"fascinating story. I just wanted"},{"startTime":2155.82,"endTime":2160.86,"body":"to touch with you about the"},{"startTime":2155.82,"endTime":2160.86,"body":"external connections as well, because"},{"startTime":2160.86,"endTime":2164.38,"body":"I've seen the photos at the"},{"startTime":2160.86,"endTime":2164.38,"body":"trade show and yeah, there are other"},{"startTime":2164.38,"endTime":2167.42,"body":"people that like your work,"},{"startTime":2164.38,"endTime":2167.42,"body":"but you're connecting with all the"},{"startTime":2167.42,"endTime":2171.5,"body":"other people at the show. And"},{"startTime":2167.42,"endTime":2171.5,"body":"if you think about that culture that"},{"startTime":2171.5,"endTime":2175.54,"body":"you were avoiding and on the"},{"startTime":2171.5,"endTime":2175.54,"body":"sidelines of, and now you're right"},{"startTime":2175.54,"endTime":2181.02,"body":"in the center of it and they"},{"startTime":2175.54,"endTime":2181.02,"body":"say, these are your people now. That"},{"startTime":2181.02,"endTime":2183.38,"body":"must feel, I don't know, how"},{"startTime":2181.02,"endTime":2183.38,"body":"does that feel?"},{"startTime":2185.54,"endTime":2194.22,"body":"It feels right. It feels good,"},{"startTime":2185.54,"endTime":2194.22,"body":"it feels calm, it feels authentic."},{"startTime":2195.02,"endTime":2199.3,"body":"I feel joyful. I mean, at the"},{"startTime":2195.02,"endTime":2199.3,"body":"trade show I got to talk to icons"},{"startTime":2199.3,"endTime":2204.22,"body":"in the surf industry and just"},{"startTime":2199.3,"endTime":2204.22,"body":"celebrate, you know, the ocean and"},{"startTime":2205.9,"endTime":2211.74,"body":"surfing and talk to other"},{"startTime":2205.9,"endTime":2211.74,"body":"iconic artists that paint on surfboards."},{"startTime":2213.42,"endTime":2220.23,"body":"I just felt at home. And I"},{"startTime":2213.42,"endTime":2220.23,"body":"feel at home more than I ever have"},{"startTime":2220.23,"endTime":2226.11,"body":"in my life, just in my body."},{"startTime":2220.23,"endTime":2226.11,"body":"And it's. I'm just so grateful I"},{"startTime":2226.11,"endTime":2229.23,"body":"could have made it. I could"},{"startTime":2226.11,"endTime":2229.23,"body":"have gone through my whole entire"},{"startTime":2229.23,"endTime":2234.63,"body":"life cycle without having this"},{"startTime":2229.23,"endTime":2234.63,"body":"recovery. And to have the chance"},{"startTime":2235.35,"endTime":2240.59,"body":"to just be able to actually"},{"startTime":2235.35,"endTime":2240.59,"body":"step into surfing and have all these"},{"startTime":2240.59,"endTime":2246.1,"body":"other discoveries and"},{"startTime":2240.59,"endTime":2246.1,"body":"expressions open up. I am eternally"},{"startTime":2246.1,"endTime":2248.62,"body":"grateful. So grateful."},{"startTime":2250.14,"endTime":2256.46,"body":"And I am just grinning from"},{"startTime":2250.14,"endTime":2256.46,"body":"ear to ear here. How can people connect"},{"startTime":2256.46,"endTime":2257.1,"body":"with you?"},{"startTime":2258.3,"endTime":2262.94,"body":"There's a few ways. I love to"},{"startTime":2258.3,"endTime":2262.94,"body":"post on Instagram and you can find"},{"startTime":2262.94,"endTime":2270.18,"body":"me at mermaidmanaart. That's m"},{"startTime":2262.94,"endTime":2270.18,"body":"a n a mermaid mana art. I have a"},{"startTime":2270.18,"endTime":2274.14,"body":"website that's under"},{"startTime":2270.18,"endTime":2274.14,"body":"construction right now, so I got"},{"startTime":2274.14,"endTime":2276.86,"body":"it up for the trade show was"},{"startTime":2274.14,"endTime":2276.86,"body":"really the impetus for getting this"},{"startTime":2276.86,"endTime":2280.14,"body":"brand up and I'm refining a"},{"startTime":2276.86,"endTime":2280.14,"body":"lot of things right now. But there"},{"startTime":2280.14,"endTime":2284.7,"body":"is a contact form that you can"},{"startTime":2280.14,"endTime":2284.7,"body":"that I will be very happy to respond"},{"startTime":2284.7,"endTime":2289.06,"body":"to anyone either by Instagram"},{"startTime":2284.7,"endTime":2289.06,"body":"Messages or on mermaidmanaart.com"},{"startTime":2290.26,"endTime":2295.9,"body":"if anyone's interested in the"},{"startTime":2290.26,"endTime":2295.9,"body":"story of my recovery and surf therapy"},{"startTime":2295.9,"endTime":2300.52,"body":"and the mental health aspect,"},{"startTime":2295.9,"endTime":2300.52,"body":"I have a website. It's in I n the"},{"startTime":2300.52,"endTime":2306.32,"body":"number two clarity into"},{"startTime":2300.52,"endTime":2306.32,"body":"clarity.com and you know, sometimes"},{"startTime":2306.32,"endTime":2311.6,"body":"hearing explicit recounting of"},{"startTime":2306.32,"endTime":2311.6,"body":"a story like that can bring things"},{"startTime":2311.6,"endTime":2315.599,"body":"up for people. I invite anyone"},{"startTime":2311.6,"endTime":2315.599,"body":"to reach out to me. I'll answer questions"},{"startTime":2315.599,"endTime":2320.48,"body":"and offer any resources that I"},{"startTime":2315.599,"endTime":2320.48,"body":"have. And I'd love to talk art too."},{"startTime":2321.92,"endTime":2325.04,"body":"Thank you for speaking with"},{"startTime":2321.92,"endTime":2325.04,"body":"me. It's been absolutely wonderful"},{"startTime":2325.04,"endTime":2325.94,"body":"to hear hear your story."},{"startTime":2326.42,"endTime":2328.74,"body":"Thank you. I've enjoyed it"},{"startTime":2326.42,"endTime":2328.74,"body":"very much."},{"startTime":2330.26,"endTime":2334.22,"body":"I hope you enjoyed this"},{"startTime":2330.26,"endTime":2334.22,"body":"episode. If you did, perhaps you'd"},{"startTime":2334.22,"endTime":2341.3,"body":"like to financially contribute"},{"startTime":2334.22,"endTime":2341.3,"body":"to future episodes at buymeacoffee.com/CreativityFound."},{"startTime":2341.54,"endTime":2344.86,"body":"There's a link in the show"},{"startTime":2341.54,"endTime":2344.86,"body":"Notes. If you are listening on a"},{"startTime":2344.86,"endTime":2349.94,"body":"value for value enabled app"},{"startTime":2344.86,"endTime":2349.94,"body":"such as Fountain TrueFans or Podcast"},{"startTime":2349.94,"endTime":2354.99,"body":"Guru, feel free to send a few"},{"startTime":2349.94,"endTime":2354.99,"body":"sats my way. And if you have no idea"},{"startTime":2354.99,"endTime":2358.47,"body":"of what I'm talking about, you"},{"startTime":2354.99,"endTime":2358.47,"body":"can find out more by listening to"},{"startTime":2358.47,"endTime":2362.91,"body":"my sister podcast called"},{"startTime":2358.47,"endTime":2362.91,"body":"Podcasting 2.0. In Practice."}]}